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Divorces and Milkshakes

Chapter Text

To say he was heartbroken was an complete and utter understatement. Misha Collins didn't know what to do with himself when he first saw the letter on the kitchen table his son and daughter were currently eating their spaghetti at. His wife came in with a look that showed Misha that it was the end. No talking about it. It was final. They were getting a divorce.Two months later and they still hadn't got out of the first step in the divorce stages. Misha could barely look into his children's face without feeling the overwhelming urge to cry. They looked so much like their mother it was uncanny. He found peace in late night drives, he found. Just driving around without a destination with his music playing quite loudly leaving him no room to even begin to think. Well, that was up to the night he had climbed into his car and found the radio missing from the slot it should be in.

Someone has stole a divorcing man's car radio. They had stole the man's only source of happiness at the moment. He drove around in the complete silence, not finding as much joy in the ride as he would have liked; his argument with Victoria still fresh in his mind. He still wasn't sure how everything started to go wrong, but he knew he wanted what was best for her and their two children. The next day he had a couple of scenes to film for an episode of Supernatural and he felt- well, let's face the truth, he felt like fucking shit. He wasn't up for Jared's or Jensen's antics today, he just wanted to get the scenes done, rest in his trailer for a while and just avoid human interaction for as long as he possibly can.

Obviously, the world was against him and the minute he stepped out of his car he was greeted with a cream pie to the face. He heard the laughter of his co-workers and he let out a dry laugh before walking to his trailer and clambering inside. He removes all of the pie infested clothing and walked to the small bathroom. He looked into the mirror and truly saw how horrible he looked. He had deep, dark bags under his eyes, he hadn't shaved in a while and his eyes were red with being bloodshot. Misha was at a standstill, he wanted all of this pain to go. The kids didn't understand. Misha hadn't gotten round to talk to them, every time he tries to go near them Victoria glared him away. Misha couldn't answer the questions that left unasked in his children's minds.

Why were mommy and daddy fighting?

Why isn't mommy crying like daddy?

Why can't we talk about Robert to daddy?

Misha washed his face and threw on some new clothes. He checked the time and noticed he had two hours till his scene was up so he set a timer for an hour and a half before crashing down onto the sofa and falling asleep there and then. It was the most delightful sleep Misha had gotten in a long time, alas it did nothing for his forever present bad cloud above the man's head. He slowly strolled to costume and got changed before going to makeup and hair. By the time he got to set he was glad that he decided to wake up half an hour than he was thinking of originally.

"Misha, you made it. Shower too good, huh?" the director says and he gave him a tight smile, he gives a sad smile back, him being the only one that knows about the divorce with me having to email and ring him up to tell him why I couldn't be in to shoot some scenes.


He groan and turn towards Jensen who was on set holding a water balloon. "Not now, guys." He pleads to no avail because it was too late. SPLAT! It exploded all over him and he don't say anything, he just go to his trailer, grabs his keys, and drives away. The director will understand and he'll go back in an hour or so. He can normally tolerate the pranks, but these days his patience level was lower than Joey Essex's IQ.

Yes, he did just do that. No, he don't give a fuck.

He winds up at a small local milkshake bar. He walks in, the sun had dried his clothes quite quickly although they were still a bit damp. Misha walks up to the counter and the woman takes one look at him and nods. "Take a window seat, It'll be done in a minute."

Misha was too tired to question or argue the woman so he did as she said. Surely enough a minute later his milkshake appeared, but this time it was a young girl around the age of fifteen.

"Ferrero Rocher milkshake topped with whipped cream, mini Oreos, sprinkles, chocolate powder and a side of pink and white marshmallows." She tells him, putting the glass down on the table along with a plate of marshmallows. Instead of walking away after he said thank you, she sat down herself with a plain looking milkshake.

He give her a questioning look.

"That what you have their is what we call the relationship healer. It doesn't heal the relationship, but it momentarily freezes the brain from thinking of the pain from it." She states.

"Thank you... but why me?"

"Because you are the first person besides myself to look like you've been to hell and is about to fall back in."

"Gee. Quite the charmer, aren't you?"

"I give it how it is. If I sugar-coat everything then everyone with get diabetes. Now, what's wrong with Misha Collins?"

"How'd you know my name?" he ask her astonished.

She bitch-faces me.

"Right, I'm famous. Right."

"But that doesn't make me view you differently than a human being. I'm one of the most down-to-Earth people you will ever meet so don't feel like I'm going to fangirl all over you like I'm inwardly doing right now."

He chuckles at the bluntness of the teenage girl in front of him, sipping away at her milkshake almost done while he haven't even drank more than two sips of the heavenly thing.

"Well. My wife is filing for a divorce."

"So, let me guess, still in stage one, you're fighting, you don't know who's going to get custody of the kids nor do you know why it's come down to this in the first place?"


She sighs and puts her glass down. "Tell me from the beginning everything that has happened."

So he did, for an hour Misha sat there pouring out his heart to a complete stranger who is only a teenager. He told her how he felt, what he was thinking, how angry he was at Victoria, how much he hated her for doing this to him.

"Look," she says, picking up her glass again. "As a wise man once said. Don't hate, relate."

How could he relate to this? Misha wonders.

"Your wife has obviously came to the conclusion that things were at a point where your marriage wasn't working to a point of unfixable so she filed for a divorce. Do you feel like the marriage was working? Did you have your doubts? If so, then there's your relation." she takes a sit of her drink. "Don't take my word for it, but it seems like she has done something wrong to file for a divorce so hastily. And with the evidence of her actions that you've told me."

Misha looks at the girl in wonder, how is she so good at this type of things?

"I've got to go back to school, I've already got a detention for punching a homophobic imbecile, don't need one for being late too. Bye Misha." she says, standing up.

"Wait!" He says, scribbling something down on a piece of paper. "I'm not being creepy, I just know I'm going to need your smart-ass advice soon."

She smirks. "I got Misha Collins's number, I ain't even mad." With that, she walks out the shop leaving me standing there with the biggest grin on my face I've had in a while.

Misha leaves some money and a tip on the table before walking out and towards my car. He gets in and smiles at the slot where his car radio once was. Starting the car, he thinks about what the milkshake girl said to him. "Don't hate, relate." Maybe thinking isn't a bad thing, but over thinking is. Misha get back to set with a grin on his face and he gets through the day with breeze, laughing, smiling, playing pranks. Just a normal day on the set of Supernatural.

Unknown number: Don't hate, retaliate.

Unknown number: jk don't, you'll be just as bad as her.

Unknown number: You'll get past it, this will be nothing but a memory. But not me, I'm going to stick in your mind like glue. And the taste of that milkshake earlier.

He smiles.

Milkshake Girl ✨: Misha Collins answer me or I'll post all over the internet your phone number and your secret that you're actually a freaking dancing fairy princess is disguise.

Yeah, normal.

Chapter Text

It was weird to think that soon I will no longer be married to the woman who I have been married to for a long time, had two children with and also made me the happiest man alive. But even the sun sets in paradise. I sigh and pick up my phone from the bedside table of my trailer, smiling as I notice all the text messages from Alexa.

MilkshakeGirl✨: Misha freaking Collins.
Misha: Alexa freaking Rowland.
MilkshakeGirl✨: You on set today?
Misha: Yes, but do you want to get milkshakes at normal time?
MilkshakeGirl✨: Sounds fantastic :)
MilkshakeGirl✨: Shit, I'm at school I'll text you when I'm not being death glared.
Misha: Be good, no badmouthing this time.
MilkshakeGirl✨: Yes, father.

I smile and put my phone down, groaning as I roll myself out of the warm bed. Literally. I end up in hysteria at the shock of me hitting the ground.


I was laughing so hard I didn't notice Jensen walking into my room until I felt a boot nudge me. I sit up still laughing and looks up at the green-eyed man I have been working with for a while.

"So, should I be concerned?" He asks.

"Not particularly."

"How are you holding up?" He finally says.

My laughter quietens down but that doesn't put a halt to my good mood, nothing can ruin my good mood. This is the first time I genuinely felt happy since the news about the divorce.

"Just fine." I say, smiling up at him.

He furrows his eyebrows and sits down across from me, tugging at the other end of the quilt covering both of us.

"You're taking this divorce better than anyone I've known, how'd you do it?"

"I've had a bit of help from someone," I admit.

He squeals. "What's her name?! How'd you meet?! What was it like?! When's the wedding?!"

My eyes widen. "Not like that! She's way too young for me anyway!"

"She can't be that you-"

"She's fifteen."

"She's way too young for you."

I give him a pointed look and he smiles and shakes his head.

"So, what's she like?"

"She reminds me of you in a way. Funny, sweet, kind, annoying as fuck."

"Hey!" Jensen protests making me laugh.

"It's true!"

Just then we both hear my phone vibrate on the bedside table and I lean back to retrieve it, turning silent mode off so I'll be able to hear it instead of hoping that I feel or hear the vibration.

MilkshakeGirl✨: I heard that you were talking shit and you didn't think that I would hear it.

I burst out laughing at her uncanny timing, it's like she's standing right outside of my trailer listening to my conversations. Which I can't tell if I'd think it was freaky or something I could have to my advantage and have some rather weird conversations for her to 'accidentally' overhear.

"What?" Jensen asks confused and intrigued. I show him the text and he begins laughing too.

"Why is she under the name milkshake girl in your phone?"

"Remember that day you cream pie'd me and threw a water balloon at me on set so I drove off?"

Jensen thinks for a few minutes but a flash look of guilt crosses his face when you could see he'd remembered.

"Well, I found this small milkshake place and the woman behind the counter took one look at me and told me to wait for my order. I did and it was brought to me by this teenager who sat down with me and interrogated me if you like. I told her what happened and she sat there and listened and gave me advice, afterwards she went back to school and I came back to the set."

"What was the advice she gave you?"

"Well, at first I thought it was something she made up, but was actually said by this famous person of YouTube. I think his name was Ben? No, doesn't really go with Phil. Jensen I'm going to say something and you're going to say the first thing that pops into your head."

"O-okay?" Jensen replies, unsure of himself.

"Phil and... In Japan."


"Dan! That's it! Phil and Dan in Japan! Danisnotonfire! Anyway, as I was saying, she gave me advice that was originally said by Dan."

"Yes, but what did this advice say." Jensen urges, clearly getting frustrated with my distraction and quick attention span.

"Oh. Don't hate, relate."

"Don't hate, relate?"

"Yes, like for instance instead of hating Victoria for wanting to file for the divorce, I related to the feeling that it wasn't working out anymore."

"Damn, that is good advice."

"Yeah, she's pretty good at doing that to be quite honest."

"Whereabouts does she live?"

"I'm not sure."

"Well, what school does she go to?"

"I-I've never asked, it's never came up."

Jensen looks at me and cocks his head and I do the same, only instead of doing it so we will directly be looking j to each other's eyes, I decided to tilt my head in the opposite direction to make it awkward which clearly worked.

"Is there a reason you came here, Jensen?" I ask quietly.

"I just wanted to see you. It's been ages."

"You see me everyday on set." I say, laughing but Jensen stays serious.

"No I don't. I see Cas. I see fake Misha. Here, when it's just me and you, I see the real Misha. The Misha I like."

He likes? Must mean in a completely Platonic matter. I don't feel that way towards him. Sure, he's extremely attractive, funny, smart, got one hell of a voice, he's good at acting on camera -a rare talent I thought I only had- and he makes me happy in the darkest of times, more than Victoria or Jared ever could, but I just don't feel that way towards him. Do I?

"Well, this 'real' Misha is all yours. He's kind of annoying so it'll take a lot of weight from my shoulders." I joke, wiggling my eyebrows causing Jensen to break out into a fit of laughter. I laugh along too and I somehow manage to un-squint my eyes enough to see that both me and Jensen have a scene to film in an hour.

"Do you want to go get hair, costume and makeup done?" I say, informing him of the time.

"Sure, as long as I can bring real Misha along too, I prefer him a lot better than fake Misha. Fake Misha is mean and not understanding."

I scoff and laugh at the same time, nodding and we help each other up from the floor. I look around my drawers for a pair of joggers and I throw them on before slipping on some comfortable shoes and walking out my trailer with Jensen right behind me. We bicker all the way to hair and makeup and even while we were getting sorted, causing minor distress on the workers. It got to a point we both got hit across the head with newspapers. Halfway through my hair being done, Jared comes in wanting his hair done and giving me a pointed look so I told the worker I would be back in half an hour. I couldn't go to costume yet nor could I have my makeup sorted since Jensen was having his done so in the end I just sighed and I decided to go over my lines in my trailer.

Misha: You've finished being death glared I suppose.
MilkshakeGirl✨: Only by the teachers, the bitches of the school are glaring at me so hard you might as well think I was a carton of orange juice that has a big-ass label saying 'concentrate'.

I laugh and shake my head, she can always make me laugh within just a couple of text messages and it's one of the things I admire most about her, her ability is incredible.

Misha: I would be surprised if they could even SPELL concentrate.

I put my phone down and read through the lines I have, chuckling and laughing at some, this normally helps me laugh less once the camera is rolling which decreases the likelihood of my forgetting my lines.

"Misha, it's time to get your hair finished and makeup sorted."

I nod and the hairstylist leads me back to the trailer which was now empty much to my confusing dismay and relief. I can't deal with much more, there is only so much a guy, well, anyone can smile through before it becomes too much. Once I was done, I strolled my way over to costume, still having ten minutes till I'm needed on set.


I turn my head in the direction of where my name was called but I didn't stop walking, I kept on creeping closer to the costume trailer.


Suddenly a wild Jensen appears.

"You shouldn't be running, it'll ruin the makeup." I comment, climbing up the steps of the trailer.

"Well I don't give a rats-ass. If I had to choose between checking if you're okay and being late because I fucked up my makeup I would choose you with a heartbeat. Dude, I think you're more important than cosmetics."

I smile at him. "I'm fine, I had a talk with Alexa, I went over my lines and I'm fine. Thank you for your concern, Jensen, but you shouldn't go through extreme length just for me."

"Yeah I know I don't." He replies, I don't catch what he said next but I believe it went along the lines of 'but I want to'.

I smile once more before walking into the trailer and quickly changing, the conversation with Jensen losing me five minutes at most. I rush out of the trailer and I run on set with two minutes to spare.

"You shouldn't be running, it'll ruin the makeup." Jensen inquires and I roll my eyes.



The producers laugh while I just smile and shake my head, getting ready and getting into 'Castiel mode'.

"Annnnd... Action!"

"There really is a lot to being human isn't there?" I say in my Castiel voice.

"It ain't just burritos and strippers my friend." Jensen replies, acting as Dean.

"Yeah. I understand what you're saying."

"You do?" Jared asks as Sam.

"Yes, there's more to humanity than survival. You... look for purpose, and you must not be defeated by anger or despair. Or hedonism, for the matter." Castiel replies.

"Where does hedonism come into it?" Dean asks.

"Well, my time with April was very educational." I answer.

"Yeah, I mean I would think that getting killed is something." Sam inquires.

"And having sex." I reply, trying my hardest not to laugh and keep a straight face as Jensen chokes on his food, most likely to have skipped all this and just read and revised his own lines.

"You had sex with April?"

"Yeah, that would be where the hedonism comes in."

"Sh. So... Did you have protection?"

"I had my Angel blade."

"Oh. Oh! He had his Angel blade."

"And cut! That was great guys, one take and all!"

I smile and instead of hanging around like I usually would, I decided to go straight to my trailer. I decide to turn my music one and a familiar song came on although I'm not sure about its status in the charts.

"CHAMPAGNE, COCAINE, GASOLINE, AND MOST THINGS IN BETWEEN! I RODE THIS CITY IN A SHOPPING CART, A PACK OF CAMELS AND A SMOKE ALARM!" I scream along to the music, not giving a damn what other people think of me.


I smile at the memory of me and Victoria as we renewed our wedding vows dressed in drag and I chuckle. Let's just keep the good things in memory and push all the bad back, remember that part of our lives with the good and not the bad.

"Nice singing."

Chapter Text

'Rise and shine motherfucker it's a brand new day! Are you just gonna stay in bed like a wuss? Or are you going to get up and grab life by the tit-balls? Are you a wuss? Are you a WUSS? IS YOU A WUSS?'

"I'm going to fucking kill her." I growl, rubbing my eyes. That wasn't the nicest way to be woken up from a restless night sleep.

"Fucking kill who?" I hear, vaguely.

"What'd you want, Jared?" I groan, flipping onto my back.

"I wanted to say I was sorry. I got some bad news yesterday and I was irritable, I'm sorry for getting like that and acting that way towards you."

"Dude it's cool, I'm actually quite glad you did actually so don't fret about it."

"You're glad I did?" He asks, looking at me with a look of utter confusion.

"Yeah, if you didn't then I wouldn't of ended up doing something yesterday, so really I should be thanking you."

Jared looked confused but left it at that all the same, instead of confronting me about what I said he sat down at the end of my bed by my feet.

"So when do you get to see the kids?"

"She's refusing access, we have a court hearing on Thursday because I love my kids and I refuse to not see them."

"Why does she refuse access?"

It's a question I've asked myself constantly. Why would she stop me seeing my children? Do they know something about the divorce that I don't? Do they know what Victoria is keeping a secret? I mean, it's a possibility, but what would so major that she couldn't hide it from the kids? Meaning they found out, and her needing to keep the children as far away from me as possible. What could be that big?

"Not sure. Alexa thinks she's hiding something."

"Alexa? And what do you mean 'hiding something'?"

"Alexa is my friend. She's fifteen so don't even bother with that crap. She believes that she has a secret that somehow the kids found out about but she doesn't trust the kids not to tell me, therefore trying to cut off access so they can't blab."

"Wow, you sure she's fifteen? She sounds like she knows a thing or two. I probably couldn't of thought of that."

"You probably could if you put your mind to it, your name is Jared not Jensen."

"Hey! I resent that!" Jensen shouts before appearing in the doorway of my little room. "Budge up." He says before climbing into the bed next to me.

"Okay so I have a question." I ask, staring at the blank wall across from where I was currently sat.

"Go ahead."

"If we're all going to meet up, why the hell are we doing it in the smallest trailer here? You two got big-ass ones and I have this one with not a lot of space?"

"Yours just seems more comfy and homelike."

"How is that possible when your house is enormous?"

"You know what I mean."

In the end we end up talking about this that and the other before we had to go on set, it was all three of us again so I let them go off for hair and makeup and told them I would wait for them to collect me. I lay back and think to myself. Today is Tuesday, final day of filming until we have a week off. Thursday I have a court hearing to see my kids, Friday me and Alexa are going out for milkshakes and pizza before her exams start next week. The weekend depends on how the court hearing goes really and I might see Alexa in between her revision timetable, she's really serious when it comes to her education and I praise her for it. I hear a knock on the door twenty minutes later and I clamber out of bed and answer it. I saw the makeup artist and was about to slip my shoes on but she stops me.

"The scene has been postponed for now, you are free to go home."

"Uh, thanks Jenna."

"No problem, Misha."

"How's Josh getting along?"

"He's on tour right now, it's all surreal but I'm really proud of him."

I smile. "I bet you are."

I walk back into my trailer and tidy it up a bit knowing that I will just throw a bitch fit at myself when I come back to a messy trailer. I finally put on some trainers and my sunglasses, pick up my bag before exiting and locking up. I walk to the car with the tune of The Judge by Jenna's husbands band Twenty One Pilots stuck in my head.


I turn to see a shirtless Jensen Ackles, sweat giving his defined toned body a shine as he makes his way over to me. "Where you going, man?"

I look confused. "What'd you mean?"

"I mean, we have a scene to film. Why you leaving?"

"Jenna told me that the scene was postponed and I was free to go... Is that not correct?"

"It doesn't matter, come on, just get to costume and we'll work from there."

I jog my way to the costume trailer and I quickly get into my Castiel attire, wondering why Jenna would tell me something completely different to what Jensen did. When I get to the set nobody was there. What was going on? I thought to myself. There was nothing in the studio which really confused me, there was nothing at all. No equipment, no sets. Just the walls of the building.

"Hello?" I call out.

No answer.

I walk around and after confirming I'm the only one there, I decide to leave the building. As I set outside I feel my phone vibrate in my phone.

Misha: I'll have to get back to you on that one, I'm kind of in the middle of something and I'm totally confused.
MilkshakeGirl✨: When are you not?
Misha: Jerk.
MilkshakeGirl✨: Bitch.

Just as I was about to reply with a witty comment, my screen turned grey and Jensen's contact name pops up notifying me that he was calling.


"C-can you come to my trailer a minute?"

"Uh, sure, Jensen what's-" I say but the beeping in my ear indicates that he hung up. Rude.

I make my way to where Jensen's trailer is and gently knock on the trailer door. He answers within a matter of seconds with a huge smile on him face.


"J-Jensen!" I answer, confusion causing so many different questions to go running wild in my mind.

"Come in!"

I walk in and silently resent Jensen for having a bigger trailer than myself but then remind myself he has a bigger success than I had or could even begin to imagine having.

"So, is there a reason why you wanted me here?"

"Well, I thought we could spend time together." He says, a massive grin plastered on his face, his teeth on display and it just brightens up his face in my opinion.

"What's going on? First I'm told we have a scene to film then we do. I go there and nothing is there and then you want to spend time together?"

"What are you talking about? 'Nothing' is there?"

"I mean, I walked into the studio and nothing was there! No people, no equipment, no sets. Nothing!"

"Misha... Are you okay?" He gently asks, looking me over.


"Because I was there when you were changing and everything and everybody was there. Is the stress of the divorce finally getting to you?"

"No! I'm telling you! When I got there nothing was there!"

"Come on, let's go take a look." Jensen says, grabbing my hand making me jump and he drags me out of the trailer and towards the studio.

"Misha! Where you been man? We've been ready to film for half and hour!"

I was so confused. Everyone was here, everything was in place, just like it should be. Was Jensen right? Was the stress finally getting to me? That thought was demolished when I saw everybody crack up laughing. It finally cleared up. Jenna delayed me so that gave them time to clear the studio, and when I was on my way to Jensen and with Jensen they put everything back in place. Little shits.

"Well, you got me." I shout out and they laugh more.

I roll my eyes as I quickly get my hair and makeup done ready for the scene. I start forming up a plan in my head for payback... And it requires the assistance of Alexa.

Chapter Text

"Mr Misha Collins, will you speak forth your case you bring to us today?"

"Yes judge," I begin. "Not so long ago, Victoria filed for a divorce which came as a surprise, but is a different story. After that, she would throw me dirty looks every time I went near my own kids and I didn't want the children to have to witness more arguing than there already was so I tried to see then when she wasn't around, but she would always find out and thus more yelling began."

"So you are saying she cut off access for you to see your children?"

"Exactly judge, I moved out of the house we were all currently living in because she had the children so she deserved the house and I had messaged her asking for the children and she basically flat out told me no and threatened to call the police for trespassing into my own home and attempted kidnapping if I tried to collect them."

"Do you have proof of these messages, Mr Collins?"

"Indeed, judge." I claim.

I shift through the papers and I hand over the screenshots of the messages. I look over and see Victoria shifting from foot to foot, she knew she didn't have much of a case. But she clawed on to that slight chance that this would turn out in her favour, that little bit of hope is what drew me to her in the first place, optimistic in the darkest of times, but this time, I knew when there's a lost battle. I was going to win this. The screenshots were passed to the judge and also appeared on the screen to the side, showing everybody in the court room.

"What do you wish to get out of this today, Mr Collins?"

"I wish to gain access to my children. With my work and being newly single I will be unable to care for my children twenty-four seven so there won't be any point for me to go for full custody, unless I take my children on set with me. I get every weekend off and a few weeks off every now and then. I wish to create a rota in which I have days off to see my children."

"That seems fair enough. Misha Collins, after today you are to have your children every weekend and to work out with the production company where you have a week off either once a month or once every two months. If you want more access to your children it must be with the acceptance of Victoria Vantoch."

"Yes, Judge. Thank you, Judge." I say.

"Case dismissed."

I walk out and Victoria barges past me, snarling as she meets her sister who was entertaining West and Maison while we were going through the trial. Victoria walks over to them and tried to usher them outside but it was too late, they saw me. The delight plastered on my children's face sent me back to the birth of both of the kids. After hours of pain and screaming my little boy was born, his tiny hand wrapped around my finger and my heart swelled, eyes tearing up as I knew in that moment that I was going to love my kid with the whole of my heart until I no longer could. Not that long after, little Maison was brought into this world too, only making my heart that much bigger as she wiggled herself into the center of my life. Those two children I declared was my number one priority, everything else comes after them, including myself. Especially myself.


I smile widely as I finally get to see my kids and hopefully talk to them. I open my arms wide and they both jump on me, causing me to fall with them in my arms, them giggling hysterically and me laughing. The feeling of them in my arms made me want to not let go, just hold them tight, as tight as I could as if they were going to slip away. Because let's be honest, I love Vicki, but I know that at any moment she could run off with my children and I'd never see them again. I just want my children to be safe and happy, if that's what's happening then I have nothing to complain about.

"Kids! Come on!" Victoria yells.

"One minute! I want to speak to daddy!" Maison yells, turning her head and narrowing her eyes at her mother. He turns back to me and scoffs, shaking his head which makes me laugh.

"No! Now!"

"Robert must be at home." West mutters.

"Who's Robert?" I ask.

"Mommy told us we can't tell you." Maison tells me in a warning tone.

Ah. There it is. She was, no, /is/, hiding something from me. Or better yet, hiding someone from me.

"Okay, well daddy will pick you tomorrow and we can spend the whole weekend making popcorn together!" I exclaim.

"YES! POPCORN! YES!" They shout, standing up and bouncing around.


"Goodbye, daddy loves you."

"We love you too daddy!"

They bounce off towards their mother and I see Alexa walk through the glass doors, Victoria looks at her in disgust and Alexa clearly notices.

"MISHA!" She shouts purposefully.

"AYE, ALEXA!" I shout back.

"How'd it go?" She asks walking up to me and giving me a quick hug.

"It went well, I get to see them every weekend now."

"That's great." She says with a genuine smile.

"You okay?" I ask, seeing the sadness in her eyes being hidden behind the smile.

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?"

I decided not to question it and wrap an arm around her shoulders, leading her outside.

"How'd you get here?"

"I walked."

"Walked?! Based on the direction you walk after we leave the milkshake shop and where we are now that must be an hour walk!"

She shrugs her shoulders. "I like walking, it helps me thing. Especially with earphones in."

"Come on, my cars around the corner. Want a McDonald's?"

She smirks. "If you're paying."

"Of course." I say, rolling my eyes as my car comes into view. We climb inside and get settled, the radio was turned on but it was on low so we could hear it but also hear each other speaking.

"Did you do the prank yesterday?"

I smirk. "No, they don't think that I'm going to do anything. If I wait long enough then it will come more as a surprise."

"Please, please please let me help you with these pranks." She says laughing.

"I'll talk with the producers, can't guarantee anything though."

She smiles. We go to McDonald's and I order the same thing for both of us, a double cheese burger with large Coke and fries, this was because we were 'basic bitches' as she referred us to. We ate while we drove down multiple streets, no destination in mind. We had three quarters of a tank, we could go a while like this, just driving down a peaceful street, no traffic about, eating fast food and talking about everything we could think of, it's something so small, but it can change someone's mood entirely, it could get rid of some stress as they leave all that behind and relax a little.

"So you get to pick up your kids tomorrow?"

"Yeah, would you like to meet them? I'll pick them up from school then I can come and get you."

She smiles. "That sounds great. I'll have to be back by six, I'll need to start on my revision."

"Of course, I can drop you off."

I see her smile falter but she quickly covers it up and continues munching on her fries.

"What school do you go to? Just so I know where to pick you up from?"

"Riverstone high," she tells me.

I nod and take a bite out of the burger and let out a moan. "These make me extremely happy."

She chuckles. "Alright Castiel, calm down."

"Never child. Never."

Chapter Text

"You better hurry up Misha, by the sounds of it, it is going to take forever."

"Thank you, I'll text you a picture."

I run out of the building at full speed, ignoring the calls from Jensen and Jared knowing the director will tell them something about the divorce and emotions and blah blah blah.

"You girls ready?" I ask, spotting Alexa and Jess.

Alexa smiles while Jess smirks. "Let's get payback from these fuckers."

So for the next hour after I took the keys from Jensen's and Jared's trailers and drove their cars to somewhere we will have enough privacy to do it, we stuck sticky notes all over their cars and even wrote each of their names on the others cars since they were similar. After that was done I realised that we still had two hours to complete the rest because this scene was four hours long with no breaks rather than two.

With the help of some of the set team who were no longer needed, we blew up over two hundred balloons and equally slip them between the two actor's trailers, also nominating two people to wear the camera and hide among the balloons. By now a lot of people had caught onto what we were doing and volunteered to help, feeling bad for all the times they had helped the troublesome two prank me. We stood in a long line and cups full of water was carefully but quickly passed from one to the other until it reached me and Alexa who lined them all up so this exit wasn't accessible hoping that the people who already knew remembered to block the other exits like I had asked them to. When we were done with this one, I took the picture and sent it to the director who we heard burst out in laughter, interrupting Jensen mid-line.

"What is it?" Jensen's voice booms around the room.

"Shit, I don't think we're going to have much time, it's time to do the next one and fast."

I hear the director tell Jensen it was something his wife had sent him and he seems to buy it. For now.

"What you thinking, Jess?" I ask her.

Apparently, Alexa who was the mastermind of pranks (to me, anyway) was only a mere amateur compared to Jess. The two of them were a deadly duo, it seems like one is rarely seen without the other and when you do see them together you know better than to leave your things unattended, you know to watch your back and never, EVER, get on the wrong side of Alexa and Jess.

"Well, while you were sorting out the cups I added a couple more things to the whole car thing... And the trailers... I kinda Nick Cage'd them... Well anyway, as a sorry you are going to give them a pack of Oreos each,"

"What's that going to do?" I ask, interrupting her.

"Let her finish, Jess continue."

"So I may or may not have done a Blue Peter and already done it but instead of the white cream or whatever it is, it will be toothpaste."

I smirk. "You two really are the teen aged Bonnie and Clyde aren't you?"

They smile and look at each other, I notice their eye contact lingers a little longer than usual and I smirk and fold my arms. They look at me in question but I just keep my pose.

"Anything else you have planned, Jess?"

"Well, I also made a fake Diet Coke?"

"How did you do that?"

"Soy sauce and Sprite, but let's not focus on that. Before we added the balloons to the trailers I might have messed around with their alarm clocks, stuck an air horn directly where the door handle will hit it and..."

"And what?"

"It isn't good but it's the only one I can think of from the top of my head."

"What is it?"

"Why don't we either tell everyone to forget who Jensen and Jared are and accuse them of trespassing or we can text everyone and 'accidentally' also text Jared and Jensen."

"I like the first one." Alexa comments.

"Sounds good to me, make it for tomorrow though, we already have loads today. So, let's go. I'll text everyone in the studio and you let everyone here know. I've got an ol' classic I would like to do too."

Misha: To everybody reading this, either before or after the scenes have been filmed tomorrow I would like you to make out you DON'T know who Jared or Jensen are. Thank you.

I put my phone away and smirk, this is going to go perfectly. I notice we have half and hour and we still had to bring the cars back.

"Okay everyone!" I yell, grabbing their attention. "We have thirty minutes and we need to get Jared's and Jensen's cars and keys back where we found them. Now, we need to split into two teams since the window shields are covered in neon pink sticky notes. Two people will be behind the wheel while the rest are going to safely direct them to drive back to where we found the cars. Okay?"

"Yes, sir."

"Let's roll!"

It was hard and the we got stitches from laughing too much, but it was worth it. We got the cars and keys back to where we found them although with keys it was more tricky trying to get it back into the trailer so Alexa had the idea of putting the keys into a big-ass box and leaving it outside the trailer door with a note with just their names and a few kisses.

So that's what we did.


"They found the cups, everyone hide!"

Apparently everyone's designated hiding spot was my trailer while me and the girls hid behind the costume trailer which was next to Jensen's.

"I'm fucking soaked! Who knew Misha could've thought of that?"


I muffle a chuckle that accidentally escaped from my lips and the girls did too, it really was hilarious to see Jensen and Jared jump around in confusion. Payback is well and truly a bitch, especially when the prank duo weren't expecting it. Jared and Jensen: 1, Misha Collins: 10000. Well, not really, they have way more than I do, but you get the picture.

"What's this?" Jensen asks, walking up towards the box with his name on it.

"Hey, I have one too."

"What does yours say?"

"Nothing it just has my name on it what about you?"

"Same as you. Do you think Misha double pranked us?"

"Could be likely, although I didn't think Misha would do this much. He's never went that far."

"Dude, he drove around to eight different banks get the two-thousand pounds he owed you in change, and you didn't suspect him of playing more than one prank at a time?"

"I guess you're right,"

I see them both open the boxes and pull out their keys almost at the same time. I could only see from an angle, but I could see confusion splashed all across Jensen's delicate features. I see him walk into his trailer.

"Wait for it." I whisper.

"AGHHHHH!" We hear him scream and we hear another scream followed, notifying us that Jared had went into his trailer too.

"Wait for it." Jess whispers.


"Wait for it." Alexa whispers giggling her head off.

We hear the sound of an air horn followed by more of Jensen's screaming and it became too much and I removed my hand and my laughter filled up most of the warm American air. Everyone filed out of my trailer and walked over to the door and me and the girls follow suit, I wanted to see Jensen's face especially. I'm quickly handed the tampered with Oreos and fake Diet Coke and I wait. He comes out with a horrific face that I couldn't help but laugh my ass off at.




"Well I may of had help." I admit, eyeing everyone around me.

"You're all dicks." He mutters.

"Truce?" I say in question, holding out the Oreos and Diet Coke, only me, Alexa and Jess know this so it would be an easy pull off since we won't have people laughing and giving it away.

"What the fuck was that, Mish?!"

"I believe it's called payback my dear friend." I say, also handing him a pack of Oreos and a bottle.

They both grumble an acceptance of some sort and open the Oreos, unlike most people who nibble or take average size bites, Jensen and Jared like to shove the entire thing in their mouth. Big mistake.

"LITTLE FUCKER!" They scream uncapping the bottle as fast as they could and chugging on the betrayal liquid.


"Indeed it is." Alexa says before turning to high-five Jess and then me. We all stand as a group while the crew behind us laugh at their faces before a few start to branch off and go back to work, but most stay behind, J2 pranking Misha is an everyday occurrence, but Misha pranking J2? That's a whole different matter,

"We must have underestimated you, Dmitri, but mark my words, we will get revenge. For all those things."

I spot something in the corner of my eye. "Hold that thought," I tell them.

"What?" They both question before getting a pie to the face.

I don't care what the repercussions are for pulling all those stunts, it was totally worth it in the end. I smile at the girls and wrap my arms around their shoulders and they wrap their arms around my waist.

"Well girls, I believe we can call that a success."

"You can say that again." Alexa says.

"Well girls, I believe we can call that a success." I say, sticking my tongue out.

"The sarcasm is strong with this one." Jess comments.

"Come on, let's go get something to eat."

Chapter Text


I see my children run up to me and I brace myself so we didn't go falling over like we had yesterday. I manage to successfully catch them without falling over and make a total fool of myself by some miracle. I squeeze them tight making the both of them groan in protest, complaining about needing to do something called 'breathing'. I mean, was their need to breath more dire than me seeing my children and being able to hold them in my arms for as long as I wanted without them being taken away from me.

"Hey! You're getting heavy, you been eating all my popcorn?" I ask, standing up with them on each other.

"Yes, we found your secret stash but still kept it a secret so mommy didn't take them away."

"That's my kids." I say with a smirk playing on my lips. I walk them over to my car making sure they were properly strapped in before I get in myself.

"Where we going now daddy?"

"We are going to pick up a special friend of daddy's."

"Special as in a girlfriend?" Maison asks.

"No baby, she's just a friend who I am really close with."

"Okay then."

They both stay quite for the rest of the ride to the high school, they look around outside the window excitedly as we drive through a part that they had never been too. The houses around here were average compared to what I live in, but that's the difference in wage of an actor and a middle class job, although we are both in the Tertiary sector of the work. It was saddening really, but its how life is and I'll try as much as I can to help those in dire need.

I park the car outside the gates and wait for all the teenagers to disperse out of the school building, freeing them from their six hour school curriculum for the weekend.

"Which one is she daddy?"

"I can't see her, one minute sweetheart."

I look all over the school playground but I can't see her anywhere until I notice a massive group of kids, some were getting their phones out, some were jumping trying to see over the top of the taller kids and they were all chanting something.

"Kids, stay here."

I rush out of the car and I notice a familiar Dan and Phil merchandise bag that I had bought as a present. I notice the word that the were all yelling was 'Gay'. I storm over and when some noticed me, some fled and others gasped, must of recognised me from Supernatural or whatever.

"MOVE!" I authorise, demand and anger crystal clear in my voice, scaring the living shit out of the people in front of me. Everyone moves apart from this one girl who decides to carry on being the crap out of Alexa although she's still lying lifeless on the ground.

"ARE YOU FUCKING DEAF? I SAID GET OFF HER!" I yell, catching the girls fist in my hand and shoving her back.

"It's not like this is her first time, daddy's always beating her up, isn't that right little Alexa?" She says as I help her up and sling her backpack onto my shoulder.

"Yeah, but you want to know what also isn't my first time?" She says, spitting blood from her busted lip onto the floor.

"And what's that?"

Alexa doesn't speak with her mouth, but the way that he fist connected with the girls face said enough, she clearly knew what she was doing.

"The power behind that punch and the location caused maximum pain without breaking a bone. I mean, I could always re-arrange your face but I kind of need my education because unlike homophobic pricks like you I'm going to have a life while you're scrubbing toilets at Target!"

"That isn't true." I tell her.

"What?" She asks, looking hurt that I just went against what she said, this was obviously the first time she was standing up for herself finding confidence knowing I'm here to intervene. The other girl looks smug, wait for it you little bitch.

"You need a qualification to do even that," I inform them all. I make eye contact with the girl who beat up Alexa and I stare at her with so much intensity she begins to squirm where she is standing. "Listen, do you know who I am?"

She nods meekly. "How can I not? You're Misha Collins, actor, you play Castiel in Supernatural."

"How do you know that?" I question

"Alexa won't shut up about you."

I smile at Alexa who just feebly gives me a shrug of her shoulders. I hand over my car keys. "Can you get in the car and entertain the kids for five minutes?"

A lot of people gasp as she nods and limps off in the direction of my car. I look over everyone still hanging around. "Nobody should be made fun of, for their age, race, sex, sexuality, looks, backgrounds and what is happening behind closed doors. Alexa has been made fun of for two of those things that I know of so far. That's two too many. I will know from now on if any of you touch her again. I have a lawyer and I will have no qualms in suing you for inappropriate contact, abuse and harassment, are we clear?"

They all nod and I nod and give them a brief smile before jogging off to my car. Halfway there I stop and turn around to the girl who was throwing the punches. "What did you mean by it wasn't the first time she was getting beat up?"

"Look, it's not my story to tell."

"You had no problems with that earlier."

"Her dad is an alcoholic, he's drunk everyday since the death of the mother and Alexa's sister. He abuses her, hits her, throws glass bottles at her, shouts things at her."

"Then why haven't you done anything about it?"

"Misha, we don't have the amount of authority that you do, we can't do anything about it no matter how much we wanted. The police have turned a blind eye against it since her dad helped with a serial killer case."

I clench my hands into fists in anger at the story, I look over at everyone and their faces and my jaw ticks as I could tell this was the truth.

"Then if you knew this was happening why was you beating her up? and for being gay?"

"Because of my father, he's close friends with Mr Rowland and he thinks he will score brownie points with him if I beat up Alexa. I don't want to do it, but because my dad is so obsessed with her's I fear he'll start doing the same to me if I don't do it. I'm not a bad person, just a scared one."

I nod. "Thank you, if you have any trouble, let Alexa know and she'll inform me. She has my number. As for anyone else, what this girl did here was brave, she told the truth. And if I hear one story about this being said and she's being bullied because of it, I swear to all the Greek Gods that I can remember from the lesson from Alexa, that you will regret it."

With that, I walk to the car and jump in. I accept the keys from Alexa's hand and I hand her the bag and she smiles before continuing with the conversation she was having with West and Maison about their favourite cartoons. I smile when they all agree on Scooby-Doo. We reach my house and I let them inside. The kids run around inspecting the new building while me and Alexa sit in the kitchen as I clean up her wounds. In total, she had a busted lip, a black eye and a broken look in her eye but other than that, she's a-okay.

"You okay?" I ask.

She nods.

"Come on, let's get some popcorn and other junk food and drinks and let's just watch a shit load of films. What do you want to start with?"

"Have you got Kingsman?"

"The film like James Bond?"

She smiles mischievously. "It ain't that kinda movie bruv."

Chapter Text

Laughter, shouting, squealing. Those were the three sounds that were mostly heard in the Collins' household that weekend. Alexa stayed the entire week and she was glad she did, if she had revised by herself she would have walked out of that exam knowing that she was going to get a bad grade, not because she didn't know the material it was that she was revising the wrong things. It became a routine as such, and none of us seemed to mind, it was all going smoothly. I hear a knock at the door but before he could think of answering it I hear West and Maison arguing over who was going to answer it and I wasn't one of those options.

"When do you want me to drop you off?" I ask.

"My step-mom isn't in so it doesn't really matter." She answers, shrugging her shoulders and taking a small sip of her glass of orange juice.

"Why isn't she in? How long is she gone for?" I question, wondering why Alexa never bothered to tell me.

"She's gone for the next two weeks. It's alright, she works away. I'm used to it, I'm spending the next two weeks alone, what's wrong with that?"




"I-it hurts you?" Alexa whispers.

"Of course it hurts me, you are like a daughter to me and to know that your step-mother or father couldn't give two shits about you and leaves you for weeks on end? I'd rather die than let that happen to Maison and West."

She weakly smiles. "And that is what makes you Misha Collins."

"That isn't my real name," I retaliate with a smirk.

"Oh I know, Dmitri Tippens Krushnic."

I chuckle and smile at her. "Stay here."

"Why, where you going?" She asks, looking genuinely confused.

"No, I mean't for the two weeks. Stay here."

"I couldn't possibly intrude."

"You're not intruding. Later we will go to your house and pick up the amount of clothes needed then we'll all go for milkshakes. Victoria rang me and she wants me to take care of the kids for a extra few days, now I don't particularly trust her so I rang the court and they told me if I have evidence to back it up then it will be no problem and no charges will be pressed if she tries anything."

"Do you have evidence?" She asks and I cover my heart with my hand.

"Like I said, I no longer trust the bitch so I started to record all the phone calls I got."

"Daddy! uncle Jensen is here!" West shouts and I smile and nod, waving at Jensen as he walks in.

"I'm gonna return to my revision, thanks Meesh,"

"Don't mention it sweetheart."

I watch her walk up the stairs, light on her toes as her medium length hair flows behind her. I turn towards Jensen and give him a smile, ignoring the confused look on his face. If he wanted answers then he should ask the questions, I'm not a fucking mind reader. Okay, no other way of saying this, that sounded bitchy.

"Who's that?"

"Alexa." I say, simply.

"Care to elaborate?"

"You know, the fifteen year old girl I said was helping me get over the divorce?"

"Oh, yeah!"

"Well, that's her. She also helped me pull all of those pranks on your ass."

Jensen's eyes widen in shock and I raise an eyebrow, did he really think I could pull all those pranks on him with my thinking alone?

"That's not fair!-"

"You have Jared."

Jensen shuts his mouth but still continues to sulk and pop his bottom lip out in an adorable pout. When he did that I giggled at the cuteness of it, his pleading green eyes and pout that is hard to resist. Wait. Did I just call Jensen cute and adorable? Do I have a crush on Jensen Ross Ackles? Well I'll be damned.

"Would you like a drink?" I ask, leaning forward on the counter top that I hadn't longed cleaned up thanks to West wanting to make cupcakes.

"That would be great that you, a coffee please."

"One coffee coming right up." I say, grabbing the cup and starting the drink.

Quietly on the radio I heard a song I have come to love in Alexa's short time here so far, although this was the original instead of the cover by Jenna's husband, it was still good all the same. I smile to myself and turn it up the volume. Elvis was truly the king of rock and roll, he wrote some truly remarkable songs: A little less conversation, Jailhouse Rock, Suspicious Minds and then there's this masterpiece...

"Wise men say, only fools rush in, but I can't help falling in love with you." I sing, swaying my hips slightly as I put the cup under the kettle.

As I wait for the boiling water to fill the cup I sing along to the song and gradually the sway of my hips became more noticeable as they become bigger, me totally forgetting that Jensen was there until I felt a pair of hands on my hips. They were too big to be West's, Maison's or Alexa's, not that Alexa would do that. There is only one other person it could be. I turn and see Jensen standing there smiling down at me since I'm the tiniest bit small than him.

"Take my hand, take my whole life too, 'cause I can't help falling in love with you." Jensen sings along, staring in my eyes as we begin to sway together, his hands on my hips still and my arms find their way around his neck, the coffee completely forgotten about. The song ends and we don't part away, instead we just stand in that position in a curious and confused state. How did we end up standing like this? Why didn't I mind? Why did it feel like we were singing those lyrics to each other instead of just singing along?

'Carry on my wayward son, there'll be peace when you are done, lay your weary head to rest, don't you cry no more.'

We both laugh and dance around to this one too, only one of his hands connect with mine in a ballroom dancing stance. Our legs flew around the spacious room ungraciously but we didn't care, we were having fun and although I did have fun with Alexa, this was a different type of fun. Jensen spins me around and I squeal in surprise before laughing as it failed and I almost fell sideways.

"Be careful I am a precious fragile human, you assbutt!" I yell out, giggling at the expression that Jensen pulls.

"Assbutt?" He says, dipping me.


"Assbutt will never be your always so please can you find something else." Alexa says, walking in, refilling her glass with orange juice before leaving again.

I smirk at Jensen and I stand and pull away to finish off his coffee. I hand it over and we both sit at the counter smiling like idiots at nothing at all.

"What are you doing tonight?" Jensen asks, tilting his head.

"I no longer have to take the kids back to their mother, so we're going to Alexa's house to pick up some clothes, going to get food and milkshakes and then coming home. Why'd you ask?"

"I was going to see if you wanted to go out with me somewhere since Danneel left with Genevieve for a week in Spain somewhere."

"I would, but knowing you it's somewhere where you need a ID and I've got Alexa with me for the next two weeks."

"Next two weeks? Who are you her father?"

"Might as well be, it seems like hers doesn't seem to give a shit about her. Neither does her mother. They were leaving her in the house by herself for two entire weeks."

Jensen's features harden and his eyes grow darker, something that I only see happen on the set of Supernatural when he's playing Dean.

"Well, it seems like you're busy. I'll leave you to I-"

"No!" I shout out, wrapping a hand around his wrist. "I-I mean, join us, if you want that is."

Jensen smiles. "Only if it's alright with Alexa."

"Of course it's fine with me, dumb-ass. I'm the one that encouraged him to ask the question in the first place."

I turn scarlet red and I send a glare her way, she just smiles and me and walks over, kissing me on the cheek before she skips off into the front room where I hear her talking to the kids.


I smile and shake my head, she found real comfort in the kids as they played doctors and Alexa was the patient with her black eye and busted lip that is slowly healing.

"Encouraging you, eh?" Jensen asks with a devious smirk and I show him the texts I was secretly sending her from under the table making me feel like a silly high school girl.

Jensen just laughs and shakes his head, chugging back the remaining coffee before taking it over to the sink.

Jensen claps his hands and smirks at me. "So, let's begin."