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Blood and Chocolate

Chapter Text

"Watch and learn, squirt."

"Hm?"

"Dracula's teeth, it's just so hot. I wish someone would pick up this fan I just dropped on the floor and use it to help me cool down. I'd be so-o-o grateful. I might even take off my shirt."

("But sis! Why would you take your shirt off if you're already cooled down?")

("Shut up. You'll understand when you're older.")

"Let me - " "I can - "

*glare*

*glare*

*intimidating stare*

*intimidating stare*

("Right. This is going to take some time.")

("Wow. Neither of them ever seem to blink. That's so cool.")

(*yawn*)

*hiss-snarl-hiss*

*HISSSSSS*

*gulp*

"Ha! Victory is mine!"

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"No son of mine will be cavorting around with a cat boy!"

"Dad ... "

"Can't you turn back into a girl? You looked so cute! Look, I picked up this magazine the other day, and it had all these adorable dresses in them."

"Dad! I'm a boy."

"... You could still wear a dress? I'm a very modern and open-minded werewolf, son. I wouldn't mind. And you'd look so cute! (Especially when you'd be cavorting with some cat boy.)"

"No."

"Pleeeaaase?"

"No!"

"Oh, why am I such a failure as a parent! What did I do wrong? Aooo!"

"Dad, it's not a full moon. It's the middle of the day. Please stop that. Think of the neighbors."

"The neighbors wouldn't mind if I had a daughter who wore adorable dresses!"

Chapter Text

" - and I'm going to be living in a really cute, pink house with my cute puppy and my cute kitty and a garden with lots of cute flowers in it."

"Nina!"

"It's be okay, Layla. I'll train my puppy really well so that he knows he shouldn't dig up the begonias."

("Dude, she's going to 'train you really well'.")

("Dude. You realize you're that cute kitty she's talking about, right?")

"And I'll name my kitty Mr Boodles, just like Lamia Asra-Pa Quintessa. Because that's such a kyoot name."

("Whyyyy ?")

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"These mice taste great!"

"Brooke! What are you doing, feeding my sister ... live food? With blood in it? At last!"

"... I think that's just cream, actually."

"What."

"It's all ... white and milky and creammmy."

"Brooke!"

"Waah! Bad kitty!"

"Mmmm."

"Brooke!."

"I just brought Nina some chocolates. How was I to know your boyfriend'd go all crazy about them, too? I mean, I didn't even know he was going to be here. (It's not as if this is all part of my nefarious and serpentinely evil master plan or anything.)"

"What was that last bit?"

"Nothing."

"Kitty is eating my mice! Waah!"

"Next time, how about bringing some real mice? You can dip them in chocolate or something. I'd be real grateful."

"Um. I don't think - "

"Real grateful."

"... I'll see what I can do?"

"Fantastic. Now, Kade, stop being an idiot before you make my little sister cry. You don't want that to happen, do you?"

"Creammmy."

"DO YOU?"

"... Mrow? Good kitty?"

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*hiss-snarl-growl*

*HISSSSSS*

*meow-meow-meow*

"... "

*mrow?*

"Damn it, not the kitty eyes. That's so totally not fair. Fine. You win. (This time.)"

:3

"Kitty!" *glomp-tackle-hug*

:( :( :(

"Ha! Victory is mine (again)."

Chapter Text

"Your friend just ate one of my friends!"

"Well, your friend just staked one of my friends!"

"I should have known. Once a monster, always a monster."

"My father was right. Peasants are no fit company for people of class and breeding."

"Dio, I love you, but let's be realistic here. We can't go on like this."

"I agree completely."

"Do you mean that?"

"Absolutely. In my view, there is only one thing we can do."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too."

"All right, then."

"Let's not ... drag this out. It is painful, but necessary."

"Right. So. Any idea where we might find ourselves some new friends?"

Chapter Text

"My parents always let their dog sleep in the bed with them, too. It'll be totally fine."

"Yeah, but, Nina. Isn't your parents' dog, well, a real dog?"

"Puppy's a real dog, too. Aren't you, puppy?"

"My name is Ace, not puppy. And I'm a werewolf."

"Aww. Puppy is in a bad mood. We should cheer him up with a belly rub!"

"Your wish is my command."

("Traitor. You - hey!")

("Oops. Did my hand wander a bit too low there?")

("You did that on purpose!")

("Want me to do it again? I will if you ask nicely." :3)