The next day all of my careful planning, the planning I’d stayed up way too late for, went to waste. The day was once again too busy to even breathe for a moment in peace. Sometimes I wondered how we even had lives outside the hospital. Of course thoughts like these were few and far between or we wouldn’t do what we do, sacrifice what we sacrifice in order to help. In the span of three hours two lives were saved by my hands.
When the day finally began winding down sometime after lunch but before the next shift I noticed Shi-On wasn’t absent like he had been. Instead I noticed between readings of charts I would feel a gaze on me. When I would glance over to Shi-On it was only to see him looking away quickly. The chase of his lab coat wasn’t needed either as he was never far from sight, just not by my side. It left something in me aching in ways it hadn’t since before my last relationship. Not a single word was uttered between us, even though I often caught him glancing my way. And it was starting to drive me mad.
Business picked up or so the saying goes and any actions I would have taken to corner Shi-On to talk were non-existent. Until we fell together again leaving the hospital, walking through a long hall of empty rooms a path that neither of us often took. The rooms in this hall had stood empty for awhile now, an attempted expansion that had gone no where. And it was generally avoided but it’s where our feet lead us after a long day of saving lives. It was nice to not be surrounded by people for a while.
He was walking by one of the empty rooms next to me when it hit me that there wouldn’t be a better chance. I was already pushing him inside, closing the door behind us before I could even think about it. The lock was clicking behind me echoing around the room even as I turned towards him. My eyes were somber. He didn’t say a word about my pushing him, instead looking at me expectantly, hands gripping his bag tightly.
Looking into his deep brown eyes it was harder to speak than I thought it would be. In my lapse he pulled something from his pocket holding it out between us. “You left this..." He looked conflicted as he held the item out towards me his hand holding it gently. "I disinfected it.” He added softly no longer looking at me but at the item in his out stretched hand.
I stepped closer only to see my stethoscope, it felt like an offering to forget. I stepped even closer taking his hand and the stethoscope in mine, eyes locked on his down turned face. “Do you regret it?” He shook his head, eyes never leaving our linked hands. “Then why have you been avoiding me?” My voice had been soft but the question sounded loud in the silence.
Instead of waiting for an answer I followed my instincts pulling him forward and into me by his outstretched arm. Wrapping it around me, as our chests collided I wrapped my free arm around him, keeping him there. We stood there still for a moment. I could feel my heart pounding against my rib cage. It could be heard echoing around the room, drumming along with the sound of another.
“J-Jin…” His voice was strained and unsure, his free hand was gripping onto my sweater, our lab coats left in the office. “I wanted to be sure.” It was a fragile whisper but I heard it anyway in the silent stillness of this lonely hall. Something in me snapped out of place, or maybe it was into place as I pulled his chin up kissing him roughly.
I only pulled away long enough to take off his bag tossing it aside as I walked us backwards to the bed. Pausing once more halfway to pull off his sweater letting my fingers linger over the smooth expanse of his warm skin. When his knees ran into the bed he toppled over onto it looking up at me, his eyes wide as they scanned over my body before landing back on my face.
Looking down at his bared tan chest I felt my own chest tighten and desire swell up in me. “If you don’t want this say so.” I told him our eyes locking, as I climbed onto the bed my legs on either side of one of his thick thighs. “Shi-On” I leaned over staring into his face as he re-positioned himself up on his elbows. Against my knee I could feel a twitch as I looked down at him. Eyes locking once more, I took his jaw in my hand running my thumb along it gently pausing at his lips. I couldn’t help licking my own lips at the thought of tasting them. I traced his lower lip once more caressing it softly, my eyes following the movement, he mewled in want. Only then did I capture his lips with mine, slowly, tentatively pressing in further my thumb resting on his chin. It felt like something was finally right with the world again. His plump lips moved against mine naturally and with fervor, tongue probing. It was a fight I wasn’t about to lose as I used my position to my advantage pulling his face closer. I could feel the heat pooling between our bodies, the only connection my hand on his chin and our lips. It wasn’t enough.
Running my free hand down his side I remembered the first time. Coming to my senses I pulled back for air staring down at his exposed body. The sobriety of this moment wasn’t lost on me as I admired what was going to be mine. His tanned chest was raising and falling with effort, nipples standing at attention, while his lips were beginning to swell deliciously. “Shi-On I don’t want to stop,” I warned him as he still hadn’t said anything, the only sounds escaping his lips soft mewls or low moans. I wasn’t about to turn this into a cycle. I couldn’t allow him to avoid me anymore. I drug my fingers over his chest, my nails digging deeper as I awaited his response. “But I need to know you want this. I’m putting myself on the line here.” I rested my forehead on his, eyes locking once more. My hand on his chin keeping his gaze steady as his breath came in pants. My thumb still caressing the sharp jawline.
“J-Jin...” His eyes were pleading and I could feel him straining against my knee that was shoved between his thighs. I wasn’t going to move though, not an inch until I was sure. He looked a little bit like a deer caught in the headlights. “I’m scared this will just turn out like...” It was a whisper made louder by the stillness that hung in the air. He closed his eyes taking a deep breath to gather his courage I was sure. “I don’t want this to turn out like it did with Dr. Cha.” He finished eyes open and boring into mine, pleading.
I understood his feelings I’d had those thoughts myself. I wasn’t about to let him go though. “I know, Shi-On but I want this,” I leaned down brushing my lips against his, he tried to follow as I pulled back. I had to close my eyes to the cuteness as I spoke this was a serious matter. “I want us to work out. We don’t have to say we’re dating, but let’s call this a working title and go on from there. I can’t let you go again.” I leaned down brushing my lips against his again, this time I could feel his hand wrapping around my neck pulling me forward.
“Ok.” It was all he said but he was pulling me forward and into him. I wasn’t going to resist anymore. I let myself get lost in the sensations of his body against mine. I let my teeth sink into his shoulder as our hips struggled to meet, his hands making quick work of my clothing.
Everything blurred together in the moment. Kisses, nips, and hickeys lining up along his chest and mine. Then I was guiding him to his knees, hands against the headboard my fingers drawing patterns down his chest as I eased him into position. The room was no longer silent filled with low moans, needy mewls, and a few groans of appreciation.
Looking down at his tanned back I trailed kisses down his spine as my fingers worked their way inside him. I could hear his straining breaths as he gripped the headboard harder. “Relax” I whispered into his shoulder, trailing kisses over it as he squeezed my fingers with resistant muscles. He whimpered in response thrusting backwards into my hand as I reached deeper. Licking away the sweat forming on his shoulder blades I worked in another finger. “I won’t hurt you” I slid my other hand running down his chest then lower, my fingers grazing his cock as my self control began waning. I quickened my stretching as I took him in my hand teasing the crown with my thumb as I worked the shaft over with my palm. The long panting moan that earned me had me twitching, the only thing keeping me sane was my search for the right spot. I knew the moment I found what I was looking for.
Shi-On's head flew back releasing a moan that sent shivers down my spine as it re-vibrated around the small room. “Jin pl-please.” He begged twisting his body so he could look at me. His deep brown eyes looked back into mine full of hunger and an emotion I’d never seen directed at me so openly by him before. I wanted to see it forever.
I swallowed thickly as I plunged inside, the heat was almost unbearable. I wanted to thrust into it but I kept still. My chest pressed into his back, lips against the nape of a tan neck. Mouthing words I dare not say, not yet. The only sounds were loud pants as he adjusted to the feeling of being filled.
“Move...” It sounded like a plea, and my body was complying before I could even register what was said. The sound of skin against skin began sounding around us, likely spilling over into the silence of the hall. Followed by louder moans as I found the perfect angle. Thoughts left forgotten as I sunk my teeth into a tan shoulder sucking the sweat from heated skin. The groan it earned me as I thrust harder my only concern.
“Shi-On” I leaned down over him whispering against his ear feeling his body shiver below me. I nibbled it softly as I let my hands roam over his heated flesh, fingers grazing over his shaft only to skip over it again to caress his stomach. Nails dragging over pert nipples softly only to dig deeper the lower they went. His knuckles were white from his hold but his fingers twitched.
“Jin” My name sounded around the room like a mantra, his arms collapsing from the effort of holding himself up. I nibbled down his back, licking up some of his sweat as I went. I wanted to kiss him, mark him. I found myself thinking, my body lost to the moment. Flipping him had been easy and looking down at him I thrust until I found that prefect angle once more drawing another long low moan. I thrust at that angle again with a little adjustment and his body arched. I felt a shiver run through me as white heat gathered in my stomach.
Leaning down I captured his lips with mine, hands grabbing his thighs to pull him along my shaft. I could feel his hands down my back and around my arms. Blunt nails digging into muscles trying to find purchase as we kissed desperately, sloppily our tongues danced. The heat in my stomach grew. I knew I wouldn’t last much longer, and he must have known as well as he took my hand guiding it to his weeping cock.
“Shi-On...I’m...” I kissed him softly looking down into his eyes as I pulled out, placing my cock against his taking both of them in hand. I thrust only twice, I could feel his completion against my own. He arched against me arm around my neck pulling me back into a sloppy kiss. As I lay on top of him sated I was instantly glad there was a shower in these rooms. We were going to need one but not right now.
“Jin...” Shi-On’s eyes were half lidded as he looked at me, my head resting on his shoulder arms securely wrapped around his waist, his arm around my neck. “We’ll make this work.” He kissed me softly on the forehead, that look back in his eyes. I nodded my agreement and listened to his heart beat. I was determined not to let this, him go.
A quick unorthodox shower had us sneaking out of the hospital like naughty children. When we ended up at my place I wasn’t really surprised. Making him tea as he settled into my living space only felt natural. More natural than it had when my ex had come to my place. I smiled to myself as we ended up cuddling on my small couch making small talk. When his head landed on my shoulder I could only smile at his half lidded eyes. I told myself this was something I could get used to.
Five years later:
“Dr. Park and Dr. Han.” Dr. Cha was smiling at me as she said the name of her ex and my current she was holding her arms open for a hug. I wasn’t going to grace her with one, even if bygones were bygones. Shi-On did though smiling like the idiot I knew he sometimes allowed people to think he was. I didn’t growl at her like I had for awhile instead rolling my eyes. She didn’t threaten me anymore.
“This is a big step...” The head nurse was eyeing the ring on my finger, it had been there all of three hours. It wasn’t even an engagement ring, or at least I hadn’t worded it that way.
“It’s just couple rings.” I told her rolling my eyes again but still smiling seeing the ring glint on Shi-On’s hand as he rested it on Dr. Cha’s shoulder. He smiled at me, adoration beaming from his very being just like I knew it was from me. Our working title had turned into a working life plan.