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In Over Your Head (The Bite Me, I Like It Remix)

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Hyukjae did not sign up for this shit.

Somewhere in the back of his head he can hear Junsu laughing at him all the way from Italy or Germany or wherever he's at right now, but since he's halfway across the world instead of in Korea there's not much Hyukjae can do about it. Not that grovelling and begging to join TVXQ would do much good at this point but he figures it's worth a try.

Anything would be better than being woken up at four o'clock in the morning on his first day off in weeks. Donghae sneaking up and crawling into his bed isn't exactly a new development, but he usually just does his impression of a clinging octopus and falls right to sleep. Shaking Hyukjae's shoulder and babbling, however, is new.

"Hyukjae, you have to come help! Manager-ssi had to go somewhere last night so he's not there and there are weird noises coming from Heechul and Hankyung-hyung's room, I mean. Not like the normal weird noises they make but really weird and Eeteuk-hyung just told me to go back to sleep but I can't sleep because they're being loud and weird and I think I heard Heebum, too, and he's usually only noisy when he's hungry and I fed him before I went to bed since Heechul was doing his radio show but I woke up when he got home and they're being weird. Hyukkie~ Wake uuuup and help me!"

Giving up on sleep, Hyukjae drags his eyes open to find Donghae's imploring face two inches from his own and startles in surprise. As he flails off the side of the bed he manages to drag Donghae down with him; if he didn't have an elbow wedged between his ribs he might consider that a win.

Hyukjae's head thuds against the floor in defeat.

"You can sleep in here?" It comes out as a breathy question that turns into a choking gulp for air. Donghae's heavier than he looks.

"Nonono," Donghae says, shaking his head as he rolls off of Hyukjae's chest and grabs his wrists in an attempt to pull him to his feet. "I'm worried about them. What if someone snuck in behind Heechul to try to kidnap Heebum? Heechul would be so sad."

"Did you look at all?"

"What? Why would I look? There were weird noises. What if they tried to kidnap me, too?"

There comes a point when Hyukjae knows he's been around Donghae too long and it's when he realizes that he is following Donghae's logic at four thirteen in the morning.

They take the stairs to the next floor ("Elevators are too obvious." "Wouldn't a kidnapper take the stairs?" "That'd be sneaky and they'd get caught." "Bu— Whatever you say, Donghae.") and tiptoe through the entryway, down the hall, past the bathroom, and come to a stop outside of Heechul and Hankyung's room. The entire apartment is suspiciously silent.

"What do we do now," Donghae hisses in what Hyukjae thinks is supposed to be a whisper.

"This was your idea!" Hyukjae hisses back in an actual whisper. "I'm just here for moral support."

"And to keep anyone from kidnapping me, right."

"I— Right."

"Open the door on three?"

"Okay. One, two—"


"What is it now?"

"Do we have an escape route planned?"

"How about the way we came?"

"Okay. One, two—"


Donghae looks unimpressed. Hyukjae just wants to make sure he's going to live to see the rest of his day off. "Are you sure they're not going to kill us for this? I mean, I've woken Heechul up on accident before and thought I was going to die."

"Don't worry, he likes me."

"That doesn't help me at all," Hyukjae mutters under his breath and steels himself in front of the door. "One. Two."

"Three," Donghae nods, then turns the knob slowly.

As he pushes the door in all Hyukjae can see is blackness that gradually turns into an empty bed and side table with an empty water glass. Donghae gasps beside him.

"Did they kidnap Hankyung!?"

He's about to stick his head through the crack to look around better when he notices movement over towards window. When he realizes what's going on, he has the sudden urge to cover Donghae's eyes. That or run screaming for his life. Possibly both.

Heechul looks up from where his face his pressed against Hankyung's neck, eyes sparkling and strangely sharp teeth gleaming in the light from the hallway.

Hyukjae comes to with Donghae slapping his cheeks harder than strictly necessary.


"Why don't you believe me?" Hyukjae cries, seriously contemplating making a special trip to the TVXQ dorm just to beat some sense into his best friend. He hasn't tried in a while, maybe it'll stick this time. "I'm telling you! Heechul's a vampire! Why didn't Yunho warn anyone? Donghae thinks it's the coolest thing ever and for all I know he's the next one on Heechul's menu. STOP LAUGHING AT ME, KIM JUNSU. Or so help me I will tell Changmin exactly where you keep your stash hidden."

Junsu's laughter cuts off abruptly but he can't stop the hiccups.

"You wouldn't -hic- dare," he growls and Hyukjae has a distinct sense of satisfaction. "You don't even know where it is. I didn't leave you alone in our dorm long enough to snoop around."

"Still wrapped in that beach towel and shoved in the box marked 'Stuff from Junho' on the top shelf in your closet?"


"Ha!" Hyukjae crows triumphantly. Then Hankyung walks by whispering something to Siwon, cheeks pink, and Hyukjae remembers the matter at hand. "But seriously, about Heechul. What do I do? Eeteuk just laughed."

"Ah, don't worry about it too much," Junsu says breezily.

"Don't worry about it?! I always knew you were insane, but— Wait. There's something you're not telling me. I know your sneaky voice and don't even try to deny it."

This time when Junsu laughs it's muffled and Hyukjae would swear there's someone else there with him.

"Let's just say that if Yoochun ever starts eyeing your neck, run."