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BatJokes Advent Calendar 2016

Chapter Text

“Mr. Wayne, there’s someone here to see you.” Bruce glanced up from the investment report he’d been reading, his expression one of mild surprise. As far as he knew, he had no other appointments this afternoon except for a meeting that would be held later on today.


The billionaire gave his secretary a skeptical look. “And just who is here to see me?”


His secretary shrugged, smiling sheepishly. “Uhm, he claims to be a Christmas gram. From a man named Jack White?” Bruce snorted at this response.


“Christmas grams still exist?” Bruce’s secretary gave him a look, practically offended at his insinuation that Christmas grams were a thing of the past. Bruce smiled awkwardly. “Fine, then, send him in if you’d like.”


His secretary nodded her head, seemingly excited that Bruce was finally getting into the Christmas spirit this year. As she exited the room, a man in a Santa suit came bounding in. Bruce sat up in his chair, mentally preparing himself for the Christmas caroling he was almost sure was about to ensue. It’s not that Bruce hated Christmastime or the spirit of the season, he was just very tired of the same songs playing, on loop, from the beginning of December until Christmas day.


The man in the Santa suit came bounding up to Bruce’s desk, his fake white beard flying up and nearly smacking him in the face. He was rather skinny, or perhaps his oversized Santa suit just made him look smaller than he really was. He was also exceptionally pale, quite literally paper white—


It clicked in Bruce’s mind. Jack White? One of Joker’s oldest aliases. And the clown was also tall, skinny, and white as hell. Bruce put his face in his hands. Was it too early in the day to start drinking?


The man in the Santa suit pouted, and despite Bruce not being able to see it, he sure could feel it. The man placed one gloved hand on his hip. “I didn’t even start singing yet, Brucie.” Bruce could feel the other man’s eyes boring into the top of his skull.


Bruce pulled his head out of his hands and decided that just once, he should stop being such a hard-ass. Joker deserved nice things, and although it kind of pained Bruce to admit it, he was afraid that Joker would leave if Bruce wouldn’t give at least an inch. Either that or blow up half of Gotham in a boiling rage. So, Bruce put a smile on his face and decided to appease his boyfriend at least once. “Sing away.”


Joker clapped excitedly as he clambered onto Bruce’s desk. Bruce winced as Joker knocked some of Bruce’s papers to the floor, but the billionaire decided that those could always be cared about later. With all of the impatience of a small, hyperactive child, Joker began to sing a stream of Christmas carols. The tempos were off and Joker had to bullshit himself through several lines of the songs, but he sang fairly well, and damn if Bruce didn’t find the clown to be insanely cute while doing all of this.