"Absolutely not," Yoongi deadpanned. "Namjoon-ah. I value you as a friend, and I think I'd even go as far as to say that you're my best friend, but absolutely fucking not."
"You owe me," Namjoon pleaded. "Come on, Yoongi, it's not a big deal."
"Your boyfriend's best friend's best friend needs a fake boyfriend to come out to his family this Chuseok, all the way in fucking Busan." Yoongi repeated drily without pause, making Namjoon wince. "And there is literally no one else you think could do the job other than me?" He flipped a page of his textbook, picking up his highlighter. "Not a big deal, Namjoon. Amazing."
"Look, Jin owed Taehyung a favor, okay? And you know how Taehyung is; he can't leave people alone if he can help," Namjoon reasoned, sitting down next to Yoongi and pressing a palm flat down on the pages. Yoongi's eye twitched as the book was spread roughly, likely creasing the spine of it. "I promised I'd ask. His best friend's named Park Jimin - one of the Arts kids. He's quite a looker; could be your type."
Yoongi scoffed. "That guy whose face is constantly plastered around campus during open houses?" He dropped his highlighted on the table noisily and folded his arms, leaning back with a derisive look in his eyes. "No way, Namjoon. He's one of those high profile types. You know how I am." Yoongi was low profile. If there was a social ladder, Yoongi strived to remain firmly planted on the ground, foot not even on the first rung. He'd somehow managed to avoid existing on a social scale in university - thank god - and he seriously wanted to keep it that way.
Namjoon's head tipped back as he let out a loud groan, earning him annoyed glances from everyone else in the library. Yoongi sank in his seat as Namjoon turned to him slowly. "Hyung," he started, "you remember what you told me after Hell Week was over?"
Yoongi sighed heavily. Hell Week was the week leading up to finals. It was also the week Yoongi would probably have gotten himself killed if Namjoon hadn't barged into his apartment at least twice a day with home-cooked food from Jin and coffee from the place Hoseok worked at on campus. Yoongi was actually still kind of shocked he'd survived Hell Week even with Namjoon's help considering he was on an accelerated track. He had almost a third more work than anyone in their year. "That I'd do anything to repay you," he admitted unhappily, brows furrowed.
Namjoon brightened. "Yup. So you'll at least give it a shot?" His fingers were flying over the screen of his phone as he shot off a series of texts to someone. Yoongi hoped it wasn't Jimin himself. “Come on, Yoongi. Taehyung even said that Jimin suggested you, you know.”
Yoongi lifted an eyebrow. “Park Jimin knows who I am?” That was a surprise.
“He’s seen you with Tae, maybe,” Namjoon said casually, shrugging as he averted his eyes. “I don’t know either.”
Yoongi narrowed his eyes cautiously. "How does he even want this to work?" He'd never personally given much thought to the actual process of coming out. Yoongi had just blurted it out during a family dinner when he'd been in high school. Sure, he'd been a little nervous, but he also hadn't had any reason to believe that his family would have an unreasonable reaction towards him being gay. His parents weren't religious, after all, and one of his aunts had lived in America with a woman for many years. The biggest reaction he'd gotten was his dad choking on a rice cake for a solid minute before he managed to hold it down with some water.
Bringing a fake boyfriend home for Chuseok just so he could come out to his family seemed a little over the top. Who even did shit like that.
Namjoon looked up from his phone. "Taehyung says the guy can meet you for coffee tomorrow at 3 if you're free," he said, grinning.
"I've got a kid to teach till 3:15," Yoongi replied, lifting an eyebrow. Namjoon knew he tutored children in piano as a part-time job. Tomorrow’s client lived about 20 minutes away from the campus on foot. "Tell him 4's fine." He'd rather have plenty of time to get back to the campus.
Namjoon paused again as he conferred with Taehyung. He lit up in time with the newly received message on his phone and he showed Yoongi the screen.
KIM.T: jimminie says he has to shift stuff around but 4 should be fine thanks Joonie hyung~~!
"You need friends who know how to punctuate," Yoongi lamented.
"Shut up, you love Tae," Namjoon muttered, shoving his phone into his pocket as his nose wrinkled. "I still don't get why you insist on referring to him as Jin's best friend when you guys have hung out plenty of times. When are you ever going to call him directly by name?"
"Never, if it annoys him," Yoongi replied pleasantly. He flinched as Namjoon smacked him lightly with a pamphlet to berate him. "And I don't love Taehyung - that's Jungkookie's job."
"Ah, those two should get their act together. Even Jin and I didn't take this long to figure it out. You'd think high school sweethearts would realize by now," Namjoon complained distractedly as he got up, apparently contented to leave now that he'd bullied Yoongi into meeting this Jimin guy. "I'm gonna pick Jin up from his class. We’re watching a movie, you wanna come?"
"Gross, no," Yoongi drawled teasingly. “I know we’re close, but you can at least go on dates without me.”
Namjoon punched him good-naturedly in the arm. Yoongi winced. “Alright. Let me know how tomorrow goes, hyung.” His eyes grew sincere. “And thanks, seriously. I know it’s a burden for someone like you.”
“I reserve the right to back out,” Yoongi added quickly. “If he’s going to be a dick, I’m not putting up with this.” Chuseok wasn’t for another month. He had no idea how to behave around a fake boyfriend for so long. Would they meet up a few times, maybe even have to practice being a couple? It just sounded troublesome as hell. Yoongi was in university to learn shit, not to fuck around with boys and get into half-assed relationships that inevitably ended in tears.
Namjoon made a placating gesture with his hands as he backed away from the table, almost bumping into a freshman behind him. “Look, I’m just grateful you're giving him a chance,” he quipped, checking his watch. "I’ll see you Friday?”
Movie night at Namjoon and Jin’s; a weekly tradition. Yoongi made a noncommittal noise as his friend rushed off. “Ah, youth,” he deadpanned at Namjoon’s retreating back with a lazy wave. He wondered if he’d ever find someone who looked at him the way Namjoon looked at Jin.
After 20 minutes, he resigned himself to trudging back to his apartment. After Namjoon’s appearance, the library seemed too quiet for him to get any real work done; he might as well give it a shot back at his place.