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Everyone Lies Sometimes

Chapter Text

989-988-8778: Wus poppin jimbo

Suga: what the hell

989-988-8778: wayment wot di hell

989-988-8778: you aint tae

Suga: what the fuck is a tae

989-988-8778: headass

Suga: I think youre the headass if youre texting strangers things like "whats popping jimbo"

989-988-8778: LISTEN B I THOT YOU WAS MY FRIEN

Suga: you dont have their number saved or something?

989-988-8778:i deleted it bc he aint fw my vison

Suga: .....

Suga: what kind of petty ass reason....

989-988-8778: BITCH

989-988-8778: anyway wot typa name is suga

Suga: goodbye

989-988-8778: BITCH WYM

Suga: GOODBYE

-

989-988-8778: HOWDY

Suga: not you again

989-988-8778: why you so madt i aint do nothin to you

Suga: yes you did

989-988-8778: wot

Suga: your grammar is atrocious

989-988-8778: SHUT YA FACE

Suga : its true

989-988-8778: WHAT EVER B

989-988-8778: yo im lowkey horny s o

Suga: what the fuck

989-988-8778: wot

Suga: why are you telling me, a stranger that youre horny?

989-988-8778: cus i mean is true

Suga: i could be an old man

989-988-8778: PICS

Suga: no

989-988-8778: I KNO WHAT I SAID

Suga: NO

989-988-8778:THAT MEANS YOU ARE AN OLD MAN OH MY GUH I WAS ABT TO BUST A NUT TO AN OLD MAN

Suga: IM NOT AN OLD MAN

989-988-8778: seND ME PICS THEN

Suga: i dont know you!

989-988-8778: AND? WOT TF AM I GON DO WIT YA PICS

Suga: i dont know sell them??

989-988-8778: wot typa arrogant ass...

Suga: IM NOT ARROGANT

Suga: FINE HERE

Suga : [image 3453] (less pretend it was that pic of yoongi were his forehead was showin a bit and he was serving us edgar allen poe looks)

989-988-8778:LMAOOOOO

Suga: what

989-988-8778: WHY YO FOREHEAD SO BIGHHFHUFHJD

Suga: ITS NOT BIG

989-988-8778: IM CACLKING GJG

Suga: FUCK YOU

989-988-8778: IS AIGHT HFF

Suga: ITS NOT BIG

989-988-8778: I KNO I KNO IS NOT

Suga: thank you bitch

989-988-8778:.....

989-988-8778:big ass foreahead peakin thru like "wuss poppin jimbo"

Suga: FUCK YOU ITS NOT THAT BIG

989-988-8778:LMAOO IT IS A LIL BIG

Suga: whats your name

989-988-8778: Jimin

Suga: seriously?

989-988-8778: ya

Suga: no i mean seriously? youre dumb enough to give your name to a stranger?

989-988-8778: dang i aint fink abt that

Suga: Jimin what

989-988-8778: i mean now ion wanna tell u bc u made me scurred and shit

989-988-8778: nvm who give a shit my name park jimin wbu

Suga: im not stupid like you

989-988-8778: i hope you choke

Suga: you too jimbo

989-988-8778: YOU USING MY MEME IM

-

Chapter Text

Jimbo: how'd

Suga: what

Jimbo: q

Suga: did someone hack your phone or something

Jimbo: WYM

Suga: why are you texting me "how'd" and "q"

Jimbo: DAS HOW I TYPE

Suga: jimin i will PAY for someone to teach you proper english

Jimbo: CHOKE YOU RAT IS NOT THAT BADT

Suga: whatever

-

Jimbo: ya he got a big ass forehead but he lowkey cute

Suga: what

Jimbo: wo t

Jimbo: WA IT

Jimbo: DONT READ THAT

Suga: i already did....

Jimbo: FUC

Suga: who's "lowkey cute"?

Jimbo: Sir .... are you dumb or are you dumb..

Suga: what do you mean?

Jimbo: NUTHIN JIMBO

Suga: that jimbo thing again? that isnt funny lmao

Jimbo: blocked reported cancelled i will not stand for this jimbo slander

Suga: its not!

Jimbo: YOU COME INTO MY HOUSE.... YOU DISRESPECK MY MEMES

Jimbo: what typa memes DO you laugh at then

Suga: well for starters i dont laugh at memes

Jimbo: how did i think an uneducated ass man like you was cute

Suga: so im not cute anymore just bc i dont like memes?

Jimbo:i mean ...

Suga: hm ok

Jimbo: you madt lmao ?

[ Block ] [ Jimbo Yes No ] [ YES ]

[ Jimbo has been blocked ]

Chapter Text

- TAEHYUNG

Taelicious: HEYY

ChimChim: he blocked me tae

ChimChim: h h e blocked mE

Taelicious: ooo that sounds like a you problem

Chimchim: BITCH

ChimChim: IM CRYING WHY DID HE BLOCK ME

Taelicious: probably bc u called him ugly lmaoo

ChimChim: ISSA JOKE THO

Taelicious: hhhh ill tell him to unblock you

ChimChim: YOU BETTA NOT I KNO YOU GON SAY SOME WACK SHIT

- Read 20 mins ago

ChimChim: TAEHYUNG I SWEAR TO GOD

ChimChim: IF YOU TEXTED HIM IM GONNA KILL MY SE L F BITCH

-

Taelicious: HEY BITCH

Chims Glucose Father: I thought i blocked you?

Chims Glucose Father: oh

Chims Glucose Father: I thought you were Jimin

Chims Glucose Father: who is this?

Taelicious: YOU AINT GOTTA KNOW

Taelicious: LISTEN IMA NEED YOU TO UNBLOCK CHIM

Chims Glucose Father: Chim? Who's that

Taelicious: i swear to god jimin likes the dumbest people

Taelicious: use your context clues now

Taelicious: jimin sounds like chimin and chim is *GASP* A DAMN NICKNAME FOR CHIMIN

Chims Glucose Father: you made a nickname for a nickname

Chims Glucose Father: huh

Taelicious: WHAT EVER UNBlOCK JIMIN

Chims Glucose Father: and why would I?

Taelicious: he sadt

Chims Glucose Father: ok

Taelicious: BITCH IM BEING SERIOUS

Taelicious: PEEP THESE SCREENSHOTS

Taelicious: [sent image #1 ]

Taelicious: [send image #2]

(less pretend tae sent screenshots of the convo he and jimin just had aight?)

Chims Glucose Father: what a damn drama queen

Chims Glucose Father: ok ill unblock him

Taelicious: AYYY

Chims Glucose Father: if i do it will you leave me alone?

Taelicious: i mean prolly not but

- YOONGI

[ block ] [234-564-4950 yes no ] [ yes ]

[ unblock ] [ Jimbo yes no ] [ yes ]

- JIMIN

Suga: your friend texted me

CHIMINI: GOD DAMMIT

CHIMINI: ALSO FUCK YOU I WAS JOKING

Suga: yeah I know your friend showed me screen shots of your convo

-

CHIMINI: yOU LITTLE FUCK YOU SENH HIM SCREENSHOTS??

Taelicious: LMAOOO YEAH HE TOLD YOU?

Taelicious: YO WHY ISNT HE ANSWERING MY TEXT ANYMORE

Taelicious: DID HE BLOCK ME

Taelicious: IM

Taelicious: ASK HIM

-

CHIMINI: did you block tae ehsdjsd

Suga: who?

CHIMINI: my friend lmao

CHIMINI: the one that was texting you

Suga: oh

Suga: yeah i did

-

CHIMINI: YUP HE BLOCKED YA ASS

CHIMINI: HUEDSJI

CHIMINI: DI SO FUNNY IM CACKLING

Taelicious: tHTAS FUCKED U P

Taelicious: YOU LAUGHIN @ ME BUT I WASNT LAUGHIN AT YOU WHEN U WAS ALL IN YA ASS ABT HIM BLOCKIN YOU

CHIMINI: NOW HOLD UP LYING ASS

CHIMINI: DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT SAY

CHIMINI:" LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

CHIMINI: " THAS WHAT YA ASS DESERVE" WHEN I TOLD U ABT HIM BLOCKING ME

Taelicious: wow suddenly i cant read

-

Chapter Text

Taelicious: y o

ChimChim: wot

Taelicious: guess who just texted me

ChimChim: suga?

Taelicious: do you eva stop thinkin bout that lil skinny dick bitch

ChimChim: BITCH ISSA EDUCATED GUESS

Taelicious: wot ever

Taelicious: anyway it was jungkook

ChimChim: STOP LYIN

ChimChim: S T O P L Y I N

Taelicious: I AINT

Taelicious: HE TEXTED ME PEEP DI CONVO

- -

234-934-0455: hello

Taelicious: AYY

234-934-0455: you arent going to ask who this is?

Taelicious: shit u right

Taelicious: aight start all over again

234-934-0455: what....

Taelicious: nun nvm anyway who di

234-934-0455: its jungkook from school? do you know me?

- Read 2 mins ago

234-934-0455: hello??

Taelicious: QUIT PLAYIN

234-934-0455: why would i be playing abt this lol??

Taelicious: YOU FR F R

Taelicious: JIMIN I STG IF YOU MADE A FAKE ACC

234-934-0455: oh i know jimin too hes your friend right?

234-934-0455: or is he your..boyfriend or something

Taelicious: i would neva date his ass to much of a damn hassle

Taelicious: ALSO YOU FR JUNGKOOK?

234-934-0455: um yes?

Taelicious: WELL SHIT

Taelicious: WHAT U WANNA TALK TO ME FA

234-934-0455: do you have a girlfriend

234-934-0455: sorry you dont have to tell me

234-934-0455: well i mean i kind of only texted you for that reason so ....

234-934-0455: i guess you do?

234-934-0455: sorry im nervous

Taelicious: damn calm down wit ya quadruple text ass

Taelicious: also nah i aint got no gf

Taelicious: i invented gays so

Taelicious: why u nervous b

- -

 

Taelicious: AND HE HASN TEXTED BACK FOR LIKE A WHOLE DAMN HOUR

ChimChim: im gonna

ChimChim: im gonna die

Taelicious: WOT

ChimChim: TAE

Taelicious: WO T

ChimChim: hOW DUMB CAN YA ASS GET

ChimChim: HE CLEARLY WANTS YA DICK

ChimChim: IM

Taelicious: U GOT IT ALL WRONG B

Taelicious: HE DON WANT ME LIKE THAT

Taelicious: HE PROLLY A STRAIGHT

ChimChim: cant relate

Taelicious: ^^^^ same

ChimChim: WELL IF HE DONT WANNA SUCK YOU OFF THEN WHY HE ASK IF U HAD A GF

Taelicious: I DON KNO MAYBE HIS HOMEGIRL WANT SOME OF THIS D I C K

Taelicious: POBRECITA ( english translation: DAMN HA ASS OUTA LUCK) (

ChimChim: now ion kno bout all that but o k

Taelicious: hating ass

Taelicious: u just mad that ya man prolly want me more than you but that aint none of my business

[ report ] [ Taelicious yes no ] [ yes ]

ChimChim: ha ha rat have fun making a new acc i just reported ya ass

Taelicious: BITHC

Taelicious: I SS A JOKE

ChimChim: WHY WOULD U TRIGGER ME LIKE THAT IM CRY ING

Taelicious: I AINT MEAN IT

ChimChim: Nah nah u kno what? kEEP IT

ChimChim: keep ya wack ass apology

ChimChim: peep what im gon say to jungkook tomorrow abt u

Taelicious: JIMIN

-

Chapter Text

-
GC: CHOKE YOU RATS
= Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . ( or hoseok,yoongi,namjoon, jin and jungkook)

. kook . : i talked to him

= Spicydick =: WHO YA MANS?

. kook . : hoseok hes not mine

= Spicydick =: you kno what i mean fool

= Spicydick =: anyway when r u gonna tell us who it is

. kook . : let me think
.
kook . : oh yeah NEVER

= Spicydick =: yoU LAME ASS WHY NOT

. kook . : bc ! i know you guys will embarrass me

suga: jungkook no shade but i truly dont give a fuck about your life in any way, shape or form

. kook . : kys

seokkjin: YA PUSSY ASS FINALLY TALKED TO HIM? WHAT YOU SAY

. kook . : its so embarrassing oh m y go d

= Spicydick =: PICS

suga: i just got deja vu

. kook . : im not gonna send pictures but.. .

. kook . : i havent responded to his text..in like an hour ...

= Spicydick =:IM

seokkjin: jungkook are you serious

suga: lmao .

. kook . : DIE HYUNG

= Spicydick =:WHY DIDNT YOU RESPOND YOU DUMBASS .

. kook . : i asked him if he had a girlfriend bc you know he perfect ass hell who wouldt wanna date him

 = Spicydick =: shut up with this sappy shit and finish ya damn explanation

. kook . : fuck you

. kook . : long story short he told me he was gay and that in turn got me so shocked bc HE... HIM HES GAY?

 = Spicydick =: ion see di problem

. kook . : HES GAY

 = Spicydick =: so ar e we e

. kook . : YEAH BUT I AINT ACTUALLY THINK HE WAS GAY AND NOW I MIGHT EVEN HAVE A CHANCE WIT HIM IM CRIYNG FJD
FUC K

= Spicydick =: WHAT EVER THAT WAS SOME LAME SHIT LET ME TELL YALL BOUT THIS HOT ASS BOY I MET TODAY

-

Taelicious: jimin

Taelicious: i ain even lying when i say that i just saw thE FOINEST MAN I HAVE EVER SEEN

Taelicious: LIKE I GOT TEARS IN MY EYES

ChimChim: WHAT BOUT JUNGKOOK

ChimChim: how u jus gon abandon ya mans like that what r u going to gain from it

Taelicious: LIS TEN

Taelicious:I GOT A SMALL CRUSH ON JUNGKOOK

Taelicious: WE DONE TALMBOUT THIS WHY YOU ACKIN BRAND NEW

Taelicious: NOW THIS PIECE OF DICK

Taelicious: I QUIEVERED WHEN I SAW HIM

ChimChim: ima need you to log off, jack it and then return bc i refuse to text you while you think abt ya next mans

Taelicious: Girl he was so hot

Taelicious: hes a dancer chim do you know him

Taelicious: he told me his name was hoseok

ChimChim: OH MY GO D

ChimChim: BITCH I KNOW WHO YOU TALMBOUT

ChimChim: FAX THO HE IS HOT ASS HELL

ChimChim: wait

Taelicious: did you talk to him

Taelicious: ya i gave him my name and my # and told him to text me if he ever needed to fuck

ChimChim: TAEHUGNMJ

ChimChim: OHY G DK

ChimChim: FUFK

ChimChim: YOURE FUCKE D

Taelicious: WHAT

ChimChim: TAE

Taelicious: W H A T

ChimChim: HOSEOKS FRIENDS WITH JUNGKOOK

ChimChim: LIKE BEST FRIENDS

ChimChim: WHAT IF HE TELLS HIM ABT U

Taelicious: s O

ChimChim: BTIH C WHAT IF JUNGKOOK LIKES YOU IM FCKDHS

Taelicious: HE D ONT OH MY GOD

-
= Spicydick =: jungkook u good? you havent texted some witty ass response

. kook . : the guy

. kook . : you said his name was taehyung

. kook . : right

= Spicydick =: ya why ?

. kook . : how did he look like

= Spicydick =: tan, light blonde hair he got a cute ass smile

. kook . : fuck

. kook . : fuck hoseok

. kook . : i just started crying

= Spicydick =: WHAT WHY

. kook . : THATS MY FUCKING CRUSH YOU DICK

. kook . : I HATE YOU

. kook . : HE GAVE YOU HIS NUMBER

. kook . : AND HE ACTUALLY TOLD HIM TO FUCK YOU

. kook . : IM FUCKING SOBBGIN OH MY OOF

= Spicydick =: N O GFHJ

= Spicydick =: JUNGKOOK DUCK DJ

= Spicydick =: IM SORRYHDJ

= Spicydick =: I AITN KNOW

------- . kook . has left the chat ----------

Chapter Text

-
YOONGI

Jimbo: HOWDY

Jimbo: yo can i save you on my phone ass skinny penis

Suga: jimin i swear to god

Jimbo: so no?

Jimbo: ima do it

-

Jimbo: wyd

Suga: sounding like a fuckboy real quick

Jimbo: I WAS JUST ASKING BITCH

Suga: im at my friends house, he just found out that one of our friends was interested in his crush

Jimbo: DAMN THATS FUCKED UP

Jimin: LIKE

Jimbo: HOW U GON PLAY YA HOMIE LIKE THAT SMH

Jimbo: "hey dude bro and other things straight ppl say, i like a girl dont hook up with her!" " ah fellow straight! you like a girl? let me smash her cheeks real quick aight?"

Suga: pl e ase stop

Suga: also my friend isnt straight lmao

Suga: and also it was a boy

Suga: and our friend didnt rly know he liked him

Jimbo: YA FRIEND DIDNT TELL YALL HE HAD A CRUSH?

Jimbo: WOT KINA NON BEST FRIEND GOALS

Jimbo: truly cannot relate

Suga: i guess he was scared or something

Jimbo: scared that you guys werent going to accept his sexuality?

Suga: no we're all gay

Jimbo: w o t

Suga: what

Jimbo: di d i just read that correct like wit my own two eyeballs

Suga: do you have a problem with gay people?

Jimbo: i just screamed

Jimbo: SUGA

Jimbo: BB

Jimbo: I PRETTY MUCH INVENTED THE GAYS

Jimbo: girl have i ever showed you my face? swear to GoD

Jimbo: im the biggest twink out there dont get it twisted

Suga: dont call be baby

Jimbo: how come out of all that u only payed attention to the bb part

Jimbo: also dont call you baby? sorry b is just not realistic

-

Jimbo: whas di name of the kid ya friend is crushing on

Suga: why do you care

Jimbo: i love tea

Suga: its taehyung

Jimbo: wot

Jimbo: WOT

Jimbo: WHATS YA FRIENDS NAME

Suga: this is getting kinda creepy ....

Jimbo: bet you 5 cents u still gon tell me

Suga:.....

Suga: its jungkook

-

Suga: Jimin?

Jimbo: i swear to god i almost passed out

Jimbo: i needa tell tae this

Jimbo: WAIT

Jimbo: BEFORE I DO

Jimbo: WHO WAS THE FRIEND THAT DINT KNO JUNGKOOK LIKED TAE

Suga: hoseok??

Jimbo: IM SHWHHSJH

Jimbo: IM KILLING TAE

-

Chapter Text

-

Chimini: TAE

Chimini: BITCH LOOK

Taelicious: wot

Chimini: [ image 9478 ] (LESS PRETEND IT WAS THE CONVO HE AND YOONGI WAS HAVIN)

Chimini: OH BUT "JUNGKOOK DOESNT LIKE ME" THEN WHAT IS THIS BITCH

Taelicious: o h my god

Talicious: FUC

Talicious: IM KILLING MY SEL F OH MY GOF

Talicious: JEON JUNGKOOK LIKED ME AND DIDNT EVEN TELL HIS FRIENDS? WOT TYPA FAKE ASS CRUSH

Chimini: THAS NOT THE POINT

Talicious: IM CRYING

Talicious: TELL HIM TO TELL JUNGKOOK THAT I LIKE HIM BACK FU CK

Chimini: NAH B

Chimini: YOU GON GO UP TO JK YA SELF AND TELL HIM YOU LIKE HIM BACK

Taelicious: my ass got rejection issues

Chimini: dont tell me these wack ass lies as if u aint go up to 6 ppl today and told them to suck ya dick

Taelicious: damn

Taelicious: you right

Chimini: so you gon tell him?

Taelicious: ya

-

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS

= Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook .

. kook . : IM WHEEZING

suga: what

. kook . : GUESS WHO CAME UP TO ME TODAY

suga: now you know DAMN well i aint gonna guess shit

= Spicydick = : why you always ruinin shit bitch just guess to make the lil boy happy

suga: die

. kook . : TAHEYUNG

. kook . : HE CAME UP TO ME AN D SAID HE THOT I WAS CUTE

= Spicydick = : WHAT

= Spicydick = : NO WA Y

= Spicydick = : IM CRYING IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU

suga: how is this 3rd grader getting more dick than me

. kook . : FUCK YO UHSJZ IM A FRESHMAN BITCH

. kook . : he also mentioned jimin hyung aint that the boy u like @ yoongi

suga: say my real name again and ill chop ya ass in half lil boy

. kook . : IS NOT THAT SERIOUS

suga: also how did you know i like jimin

. kook . : *several bruh's are heard from the distance*

= Spicydick = : you fr asking us that

seokkjin : yoongi .....

K N J : someone get their man

. kook . : look at that hyung

. kook . : namjoon deadass came back from the grave just to roast ya ass, take several seats

suga: i hope all of yall choke on mayonnaise

K N J : u gon date jimin tho bc if u aint ... let me peep that ass

seokkjin : you rly gonna say that when your own boyfriend is in this groupchat

K N J : * sweats *

--------- seokkjin has left the chat --------------

K N J : aw fuc

. kook . : hope i aint as stupid as you when me and taehyung start dating

suga: im cackling how you gonna be this dumb fhdjk

. kook . : looks like suga has been talking to jimin too often ... why can i hear his sentences screaming 'punctuation' at me like that one ep of spongebob where he wanted some water

K N J : IM SCREAMING NDJ

suga: DROWN IN A POOL OF YA PISS I HATE YOU

-

Chapter Text

-

2 NEW MESSAGES

 

[ 938-943-0098 ] Hey

[ Taelicious ] yo i just had the weirdest dream

-
Started chat with : 938-943-0098

938-943-0098: Hey

Chimini: wot who di

938-943-0098: Wow, jungkook wasn't lying when he said you had bad grammer.

Chimini: jungkook? girl what has that coconut head said abt me? swear to godt ima shade him on twitter and he betta not @ me

938-943-0098: I deadass understood nothing from that sentence.

938-943-0098: ANYWAY

938-943-0098: 'Suga' told me not to tell you this... but I dont rly give a damn about his ass, mf ate my cheetos

Chimini: i understand your rage and frustation so

Chimini: dímelo ( english translation: spill di tea )

938-943-0098: Jajaja ok pero ya sabes que suga the va a matar? [English translation: lmaoo how you gon risk ya life like that fully knowin suga gon beat ya ass and mine ]

Chimini: how di tables have mf turned listen girly i took one year of spanish and dimelo was di only thing i membered u aint gotta do all that

938-943-0098: you a bum

Chimini: fax only

Chimini: spill di tea on suga tho

938-943-0098: oh right

938-943-0098: His real name is Min Yoongi.

Chimini: THAT WHORE

-

Chimini: why hello

Chimini: min

Chimini: suck my dICK yoongi

Chimini: after all di time and u still aint tell me ya name i had to hear it from some ugly

Suga: FUCK

Suga: tell namjoon to watch his damn back

Chimini : quien? [English translation: ion kno that bum]

Suga: a lil birdy just informed me that someone by the name that starts wit su and ends with ga will chop his dick off

Chimini: aint dicks in di front tho? you said watch his back

Suga: exactly..i kno what i said

-

938-943-0098: Anyway, I just wanted to let u know you almost costed me my relationship.

Chimini: h u h

938-943-0098: I may have said ya ass was fat in the same gc that my boyfriend was in..

938-943-0098: but in my defense

938-943-0098: it is

Chimini: i screamed

Chimini: someone get ya mans

[ Rename 938-943-0098? ] [ yes no ] [ yes ] [ insert name : whos man? ]

-

Taelicious: yo i just had the weirdest dream

Chimini: tell me it b

Taelicious: aight so

Taelicious: i was eating ass

Chimini: dassit?

Taelicious: yup

Chimini: wot typa let down ass convo starter

Taelicious: u were intrigued tho

Chimini: cant argue bc iss tru

Taelicious: why did you take so damn long to respond tho

Taelicious: i kno u aint got friends

Chimini: BITCH

Chimini: jungkooks friend texted me

Taelicious: OH YEAH

Taelicious: JUNGKOOK

Taelicious: I WENT UP TO HIM AND TOLD HIM HE WAS CUTE AND D-DAT WE SHOULD L I K E ION KNO MAYBE GO ON A DATE OR SUM LIKE THAT

Chimini: WOT DID HE SAY

Taelicious: FOOL GON START CRYING

Chimini: FHDJKHDF

Taelicious: I ALMOST BUSTED OUT LAUGHIN U DON EVEN KNO

Taelicious: IT WAS SO CUTE THO

Taelicious: he smiled @ me and said " i would love to :')"

Taelicious: and bithc

Taelicious: let me tell you bithc

Taelicious: i swear to god i felt my heart nut

Chimini: girl...

Chimini: how u in di deep already

Taelicious:I ON KNO

Taelicious: IT JUST HAPPENED

Chimini: yall my new fave couple

Chimini: the headasses

Chimini: it got a nice ring to it

-

Chapter Text

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS

= Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook .

suga: namjoon

K N J: what

suga: why did you tell jimin my real name

K N J: Because it wasnt that deep?? lmao u act like its the end of the world if someone knows your name

suga: you don kno me like that homie

K N J: Ive known you for 5 years ....

suga: i kno what the fuck i said

suga: idgaf how long you've known me that doesn't give you the damn right to tell people my name

K N J: ok

suga: nah

suga: not "ok"

suga: do you even know why i dont like yall using my name?

K N J: no

suga: what a surprise

K N J: ok well fucking tell me then, you wanna make a big ass deal over this get over yourself

suga: LMAO

suga: ' GET OVER YOURSELF '

suga: i had to deal with my own DAD telling me how much of a fucking waste i was to this damn earth

suga: always " yoongi, you're never gonna get into that college " "youre never gonna make it in life" "yoongi this" " yoongi that"

K N J : ok???? and??? as if my own parents didnt tell me shit like that fool stfu already

suga: dont tell ppl my personal info and then blame it on me when i get mad over it

suga: dont tell me to tell you why i dont like my name and then interrupt me

suga: ha thas so funny im suddenly remembering when you would question me about my bruises and i would lie to you lmao

K N J : what

suga: you wanna know the truth?

K N J : yoongi ..

suga: dont fucking say my name

suga: please

suga: you dont understand namjoon

suga: he hates me

suga: i would yell at him, i would try to fight back

suga: that just made it worse

K N J : im sorry

suga: you dont understand

suga: the beatings were from him namjoon

K N J : i know im sorry im so sorry

suga: he would always whisper in my ear

suga: and you know what he would say?

suga: " if only it was you that died yoongi"

K N J : im sorry

suga: me too

------- suga has left the chat ------------

 

------ K N J has left the chat ------------

Chapter Text

-

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS

= Spicydick =, seokkjin . kook .

 

. kook . : lmao ... yall goodt?

= Spicydick = : jungkook

. kook . : uncalled for

. kook . : got i t

-

K N J : im sorry

Suga: for what?

K N J : you know why

Suga: oh

Suga: thAT

Suga: its fine ::) just another one of my monthly mental breakdowns

K N J : suga...

Suga: i said what i said

Suga: im fine dont worry namjoon you had the right to be fed up with me

K N J : no i didnt

Suga: who cares its in the past

Suga: now tell jungkook to add me back into the chat i aint rly think it through before i left

K N J : c a nt really do that lmao

Suga: wym

K N J : i also left

Suga: n o w

Suga: why would you do that

K N J : im a smart dumbass ok

Suga: fax only

K N J : you rly been spending too much time with jimin ya grammar wack

Suga: read the sentence you just wrote homie i aint see a lick of punctuation

K N J : aigh t

K N J : u right

K N J : so are we good now?

Suga: oh no

Suga: u aint gettin off that quick BITCH

Suga: watch ya balls

K N J : lmao okay

Suga: YOU THINK THIS A GAME?

Suga: THIS A WAR NAMJOON

K N J : sit ya slightly taller than a toddler ass down

Suga: now im rly coming for you

-

Suga: hey

Suga: i know namjoon told you my name but can you like

Suga: not use it

Chimini: oh ya is all good

Suga: wait fr

Chimini: ya i aint gonna over step ya boundaries

Suga: damn what the hell my own friends dont even respect me like that

Chimini: they bums

Chimini: drop they asses smh

Chimini: they needa put some respeck on my mans name

Suga: your mans?

Chimini: pause rewind alt space delete i aint say that

Suga: na h nah im pretty sure that says " my mans "

Chimini: * sweats * i-im b lind

Suga: headass

Chimini: you right

Chimini: yo i been wonderin

Chimini: since u friends wit john cook

Suga: im laughin 'john cook' what the hell hes not a white boy

Chimini: sure do ack like one tho

Chimini: anyway

Chimini: since u friends wit him and hoseok that mean u go to our school right

Chimini: wot are you a junior?

Suga: senior actually

Chimini: DA MN

Chimini: YOU A WHOLE GROWN BITCH

Chimini: PROLLY GOT A WHOLE JOB AND ERYTHIN

Suga: nah im too lazy for one

Chimini: well u betta get one how our kids gon live

Suga: our kids ?

Chimini: aw fuc

-

Taelicious : im crying

Chimini: hey BITCH how was ya date wit jungkook

Chimini: damn autocorrect wildin got bitch all in caps and shit

Taelicious : i cant believe di

Chimini: wot

Taelicous : HE STOOD ME UP

Chimini: THAT BTIHC

Taelicous : WH O CARES I STILL LVOE HIS LITTLE BITCH ASS

Chimini: how in di hell u still like a bitch that stood u up

Chimini: but not hoseok

Taelicous : ok so u kno how i wanted hoseoks dick in my mouth like a week ago right

Chimini: ya

Taelicious: i want jungkooks now

Chimini: his dicc?

Taelicious : HIS HEART

Chimini: you want his heart in ya mouth?

Taelicious: n O I WANT HIS HEART IN MY DICK

Taelicious: WAIT

Taelicious: I MEANT I WANNA NUT ON HIS HEART

Taelicious: wait wont he be dead if i do tha t

Chimini: i get it fool

Taelicious : heres an anology ... i got a chicken ... and hoseok the di chicken leg and jungkook th e heart.. they bouf tasty... but like is whats inside that matters u get me?

Chimini: I GET IT ENOU GH

Taelicious: I M SORRY I JUST AINT NEVER MET A MORE BEAUTIFUL PERSON OTHER THAN JUNGKOOK

Chimini: calm down ehrjsd u jos met his ASS you don even kno him like that yet

Taelicious : sh ut the fuc up

Chimini: u right

-

Taelicious: also how it going wit suga

Chimini: ion kno you tell me, i called him my mans and told him that he needed a job to take care of our children and now he wont stop making fun of me

Chimini:i got that fool on mute

Taelicious : IM LAUGHIN

Chimini: also he go to our school and he a senior i aint even kno that

Taelicious: oh fr? i n t e r e s t i ng

Chimini: tae

Chimini: u betta not do sum stupid shit

Chimini: bc if ya do

Chimini: ima tell jungkook some shit abt you

Taelicious: lmao wot you gon say?? "tae wants ya dick in his mouth?"?

Taelicious: ive done already said that bby girl

Chimini: fuc k

Taelicious : HA

Taelicious: you triedt it and ya failed

-

Chapter Text

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS

= Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook .

. kook . : u know what we should do

= Spicydick = : what

. kook . : add jimin to the gc

suga: i giggled

suga: as if i'd add him

. kook . : its almost like you sent us screenshots of yalls convo and it showed jimins acc name and i added him 3 weeks ago

suga: i giggled

. kook . : giggle harder bc im adding him

----- Chimini has been added by . kook . --------

Chimini: now wot di hell is all of this

Chimini: whos kook? jungkook? as in BITCH that been talkin mess abt me? les fight

suga: well

= Spicydick = : that escalated quickly

K N J : hello

Chimini: im not used to this good grammar can yall start textin like yall aint got some sense

suga: you can leave

Chimini: now why would i do that

Chimini: wot yall been sayin in here

K N J : just talking about how much we love school

------- Chimini has left the chat -------

. kook . : fsuihjk

----- Chimini has been added by . kook . --------

Chimini: fuck yall

Chimini: also ima add tae

. kook . : wha t

suga: HA

------- Taelicious has been added by Chimini ------

Taelicious: what on earf

Taelicious: jimin pick me up

Chimini: what

Chimini: you still @ school?

Taelicious: ya i had detention

Chimini: WHAT YOU DO BITHC

Taelicious: ms.thick was getting on my nerves askin bout " taehyung" "taehyung" so i yelled "what bitch im tryna talk bout me getting fucked" and she gave me detention

Taelicious: smh

. kook . : what

. kook . : you got ... fucked?

Taelicious: kook

Taelicious: d-does that mean jungkook

. kook . : yes

Taelicious: :-) interesting

Taelicious: funny how i love lying i aint get fucked i dont even know what a fuck is lmao :-)

. kook . : who did you have sex with

Taelicious: no one

. kook . : tae

Taelicious: alrighT ILL TELL U BUT DONT GET MAD

. kook . : i wont

Taelicious: h-hoseok

. kook . : ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

Taelicious: YO U PROMISED

= Spicydick = : hh e y guys

. kook . : im going to your house

. kook . : were gonna fight im DONE

. kook . : THATS MY MAN

Taelicious: your who now

= Spicydick = : HES NOT YOUR MAN YET

. kook . : TAE TELL THIS BABY DICK ASS THE TRUTH

Taelicious: j u ngkook

Taelicious: i reeally like you

. kook . : SEE

Taelicious: but

. kook . : wym but

Taelicious: we are not dating

Taelicious: i cant fuck who ever i want

. kook . : but

. kook . : tae i like you

Taelicious: ya i think i get that you started crying when i asked if u wanted to go out on a date

Taelicious: which u stood me up for :)))

. kook . : I FELL ASLEEP

. kook . : IM SOR RY

Taelicious: read at 3:34 pm

Chimini: lmaojfjd

Suga: PETTY

Chimini: alright tae im outside

Taelicious: aight

-

= Spicydick = : jungkook stop screaming " jung hoseok you traitor bitch " outside my house before i beat your ass

Suga: LMAOOO

K N J : MANS RLY DOING THE MOS FOR SOME DICK

Taelicious: IM

Chimini: HE WOULD RJFKD

. kook . : NOT UNTIL TAE AGREES TO HAVE ANOTHER DATE WITH ME

= Spicydick = : tae

= Spicydick = : pls

Taelicious: JUNGKOOK YOU WILD

Taelicious: ILL HAVE ANOTHER DATE WITH Y OU HFJUDIDJ

= Spicydick = : oh my gof

= Spicydick = : this man fr fr broke down and started sobbing

Taelicious: wsdjkkdjsdi

-

Chapter Text

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS

= Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

Suga: hoseok

Suga: i think someones catfishing on okcupid using your pictures

= Spicydick = : suga

Suga: the bio says " looking for sugar daddys 60-85" like wtf

= Spicydick = : suga thats me

Suga: what

= Spicydick = : i made that account

= Spicydick = : i am indeed looking for sugar daddys 60-85

= Spicydick = : the closer to death and the richer the better

Suga: you crazy my dude

= Spicydick = : thanks

-

Chimini: do any of you know where i can get a job

Chimini: and a place to stay

Suga: wow jimin actually speaking in coherent sentences

Chimini: yeah

Suga: i rly dont know anyone guess youre out of luck jimbo

Chimini: ok

-

= Spicydick = : yo is your boyfriend ok?

Suga: jimin insnt my boyfriend

= Spicydick = : ok whatever "no homo" headass

= Spicydick = : he's acting weird

Suga: wym?

= Spicydick = : he's spelling correctly and he's giving clipped responses

Suga: damn

Suga: he is

Suga: ill talk to him

-

Suga: hey are you ok?

Chimini: you know for a second i thought about saying yes and deleting this app and never talking you again but i seriously need some emotional support rn

Chimini: long story short I came out to my parents and they told me i was disgusting yadda yadda yadda and they kicked me out

Suga: jesus christ they kicked you out in this weather?

Suga: jimin its snowing!

Chimini: i know

Suga: cant you stay with taehyung?

Chimini: :-) t-the thing abt tha t

Suga: you havent told him have you

Chimini: ding ding ding

Chimini: i dont wanna burden him, he has enough problems already

Suga : hm

Suga: well jungkook lives alone maybe he'll let you stay with him?

Chimini: quit playin

Chimini: how that baby live alone

Suga: he has his reasons

Suga: ill give him a call

Chimini: thanks yoongi

Chimini: S HINT IM SORRY B I FORGOT YOU DIDNT WANT ME CALLING YOU THAT

Yoongi laughed as the string of apology texts started coming through, he knew that Jimin meant well and forgot about his wish of not wanting to be called by his birth name, but Yoongi felt a little nice seeing that Jimin felt they were intimate enough to call each other by name.

Of course Yoongi still felt a pulse of sadness in his chest, the trauma that his father made him go through wouldn't be forgotten just because he met a boy with bad grammar that somehow managed to lift his spirits up when he was feeling down, but it was a pleasant surprise that he still managed to not feel complete despair when his name was being said, or texted I guess.

( i can t believe i actually tried to write something im crying that was hardt how yall do that @ good writers yall amazin i lov eyall )

Suga: lmao its fine

Chimini: tha n k god oh my guh

Suga : i called jungkook he said you can stay just... give him a minute

Chimini: aight i need the directions tho

Suga: well you ask him for them i aint talkin to him any longer

Chimini: oh s hit wot he do

Suga: fool gonna answer the phone like " WHAT HYUNG IM TRYNA BONE TAEHYUNG"

Chimini: DHDH

-
GC: CHOKE YOU RATS

= Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

Chimini: GE T IT JUNGKOOK

Chimini : ALSO WHERE DO YA LIVE

-

Taelicious: oh my god jimin his house is so big and his dick is too i busted like 6 nuts fuc k

Chimini: i aint needa kno all that but aight

Chimini: are yall gon pick me up or..... bc i been sittin in di cold for like 30 mins now

Taelicious: what? why

Taelicious: aint it game night in ya house or sum

Chimini: oh yeah

Chimini: funny story :-) i thought "hey! isnt this the best time to come out to my family!" and the lil goblin brain inside my haid said "no you dumbass bitch" and i thought "is gonna be fine!!" and then they kicked me out so

Taelicious: JIMIN

Taelicious: bITHC

Taelicious: STAY WITH ME

Taelicious: i MA BEAT YA MOMMAS ASS UP FR

Chimini: i dont wanna bother u tho

Taelicious: its alright!

Chimini: tae

Taelicious: *does raven flashback thing wit his eye* i can see you stayin wit me is not going well so ya you should stay with jungkook

Telicious: we'll pick you up in a bit

Chimini: bring me some chips

Taelicious: it'll just take longer for us to pick you up tho

Chimini: i said wot i said

-

Chapter Text

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS

= Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

suga: IM GONNA MURDER YOU JIMIN WHAT THE FUCJ

= Spicydick = : HEDJDJD THE FACK THAT I WAS PRESENT FOR ALL OF THIS GOT ME IN TEARS

K N J : lmao what did jimin do

= Spicydick = : HE JUMPED SUGA WHILE YELLING "BUM ASS BITCH"

K N J : LMAOOOOO

suga: DIE @ JIMIN

Chimini: IM JUST SPILLIN DI FACKS BOI HOW JUNGKOOK, A WHOLE TODDLER, GOT MORE COINS THAN YOU?

Suga: l i STEN

. kook . : insult me one more time jimin

. kook . : ONE MORE DAMN TIME

. kook . : AND ILL SET YA RUPAULS DRAG RACE DVD SET ON FIRE

Chimini: BUT ITS A LIMITED EDITION CHRISTMAS SET

. kook . : I.KNOW.

Chimini: YOU ANIMAL

= Spicydick = : you disgust me kook, how u just gon set a mans drag race dvd sets on fire like that

. kook . : ITS NOT MY FAULT

= Spicydick = : ima need a 2 page essay in times new roman 14 font abt how is not ya fault due in 2 secs i dont grade late work

. kook . : YALL WANNA KNOW HOW HE WAKES ME UP?

. kook . : HE BLASTS LGBT BY CUPCAKKE AND TRIES TO SING TO IT

Chimini: fuck you mean 'try'

. kook . : you know what i mean

. kook . : your voice sounds like a whole struggle sit down

K N J : IM CHOKING

. kook . : HA

. kook . : i giggled

. kook . : you aint much better namjoon

K N J : n-now hold on now

. kook . : member when we went to that gallant concert and we started singing his songs wit him? tell me why when you started singing

. kook . : he stopped

. kook . : he was prolly thinkin " now what the hell is oll of t h is"

K N J : BITCH

K N J : WE TALMBOUT JIMIN

K N J : NOT ME

Suga: im laughing

Suga: namjoon cant even laugh without jungkook getting on his ass

Suga: swear to god namjoon could breath wrong and jungkook would be on him

. kook . : ^^^^^^^

-

Chimini: that was my first time seeing u in person im crying

Chimini: how a person that beautiful it just dont add up

Suga: did you happen to stumble into a bathroom and look at your reflection? bc youre the beautiful one

Chimini: ST OP THIS CHEESY ASS SHIT IM CRYNNG

Suga: its true

Chimini: blocked cancelled reported

Chimini: you def look pastier in person tho

Suga: now

Suga: why you gon ruin the mood like that

-

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS

= Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

Taelicious: yo (5:05)

. kook . : yes? :) (5:04)

Chimini: h ow in di hell

K N J : mans straight up said "fuck time" and responded a minute earlier

. kook . : I HATE YALL

Taelicious: THIS IS SERIOUS GUYS

Taelicious: ok so

Taelicious: if yo leg get cut off

Taelicious: where you gon feel di pain?

Chimini: in ya leg?

Chimini: wayaminute

Taelicious: EXACTLY BR UH I BEEN THINKIN BOUT THAT ALL DAY

Chimini: w-where are gon feel the pain??

Taelicious: i on kno

Taelicious: i aint a mathematician ION KNO

K N J : mathematician

K N J : i hate this gc

. kook . : now tae

Taelicious: yes bby?

. kook . : you know i love ya ass right

Taelicious: ya

. kook . : ok

. kook . : now that we've established that

. kook . : you bout dumber than a mf

Taelicious: I M

Chimini: HFUDJFHD

Suga: i mean he aint wrong

. kook . : why you talkin bootleg edgar allen poe, aint you the one with a 30% in math

Suga: THAS

Suga: UNNECESSARY I N FO

-

ion kno how to end di chapter

di end

Chapter Text

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS

= Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

Chimini: YALL RLY GON DO ALL TH AT

Chimini: WHILE IM THE SAME HOUSE ASS YALL

Chimini: YALL SOME NASTY ASS BITCHES

suga: who

Chimini: is almost like context clues exists

suga: i deadass hope you choke on rat poison

Chimini: and i hope you pass ya english class, next

Taelicious: wow

Taelicious: yall fr

Taelicious: jungcock stopped fucking this pUSSY so that he could flame jimin

Chimini: wot now

. kook . : jimin

Chimini: yes? Sir ugly ahhhhh

Taelicious: o h boy

Taelicious: u aint shouldve done that

. kook . : *lights flicker*

 

. kook . : * my eye twitches*

 

. kook . : Jimin.. *tap tap* is this shit on?

Chimini: tae, what ya boy on

. kook . : Jimin.. you stay hatin... like ya checks.. they keep runnin, how u gon jump ya man for not havin a job
when ya bum ass the same?

. kook . : "c-can i borrow a dollar" has been the only thing u been sayin to me since we met

. kook . : swear to god you owe me bout 300$ already

Chimini: ok this is sad, but you said 300 even tho is been like 5 weeks since we met...

Chimini: do you and suga need tutors bc i will provide

. kook . : SHUT YA ASS UP

. kook . : I AINT DONE

. kook . : *coughs into mic*

Chimini: i cant breath this boy fr fr adding his own sound effects and shit

. kook . : shut ya lil tiny baby dick broke failing home ec ass up bitch boy

Chimini: ok wot ever this was, its over its cancelled you makin me laugh too hardt i done pissed my self

-

Chimini: tae where ya man go

Taelicious: im chokin he got so mad he left to go for a walk

Chimini: FHDDJD

Chimini: his thots all over di place wit that weak ass roast

Taelicious: fr

Chimini: damn tae u kno wot i just realized

Taelicious: wot

Chimini: you a bum ass boyfriend

Taelicious: h u h

Chimini: how u gon let ya mans embarrass himself like that

Taelicious: HDDJDJ

-

Suga: yo jimin im coming over u want anything from the store?

Chimini: ya i want a mango arizona ( tm symbol ) (copyright symbol) ( not sponsored ) and some hot cheetos ( tm symbol ) (copyright symbol) ( not sponsored )

Suga: .... why you do all that

Chimini: wym

Suga: why you put the tm symbol thing

Chimini: oh so i wont get sued

Suga: jimin

Suga: how u gon be this stupid

Chimini: WO T

Suga: HAVE YOU GENUINELY THOUGHT THAT THESE COMPANIES WOULD SUE YOU IF U AINT PUT THE SYMBOLS BEHIND THE PRODUCT NAME

Suga: IN A PRIVATE CONVO

Suga: IM DECEASED

Chimini: WHA T

Chimini: WAYAMINUTE

Chimini: WWOT

Chimini: THEY DONT SUE YOU?

Chimini: BITHC

Chimini: WHAT ATHTE FUC K

Chimini: WHY TAE LIE TO ME LIKE THAT

Chimini: ONCE I FORGOT TO DO IT AND ALMOST HAD A PANIC ATTACK

Chimini:IM CRYING

-

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS

= Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

. kook . : why i just find jimin in a ball in my living room

-
. kook . : LMAOOOOO

Chimini: SHUT UP BITHC

Chimini: DONT EXPOSE ME

. kook . : OH I AINT GOTTA DO THAT

. kook . : IMA USE IT FOR MY NEXT ROAST

Chimini: oh then im worried for nuthin

. kook . : watch ya back bitch

-

Yoongi pulls up at Jungkooks house and marvels at how big it is, sure he's been here many times but he can never get over just how rich his friend is. He goes up to the door decorated with a reef, ' its crooked ' he thought as he made no move to fix it.

Yoongi knocks and wait.. and waits ... and waits some more , he gets tired of waiting and knocks again but this time louder. He proceeds to wait and wait and makes a last attempt at knocking.
"Jimin, open up its me" He's irritated now, he spent money on Jimin and drove his ass all the way here and the younger isn't even opening the door? "Aint no one tell you to come tho" says his mind.

Suddenly the door opens up and the rush of warm air and bright lights temporarily blind him and he doesn't see who's at the door, guessing its Jimin he says

" Finally ive been waiting out here in the damn cold for ever" at this point his vision is returning and he sees brown hair 'aint Jimin got blonde hair?"

"Hes schleep" says a deep voice and Yoongi realizes that it was Taehyung that opened the door. Before he can even react, the door closes and he's left on the
porch, alone ' like always ' says the tiny goblin brain in him, "shut up this aint the time to be a little bitch" he tells him self.

- ( that was di worst thing i ever writen yalldt it was hardt )

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS

= Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

Chimini: wow suga

Chimini: you rly gon do all that

Suga: :-) i dont recall

Chimini: YOU AINT RECALL CLIMIN THRU THE WINDOW OF MY ROOM AND YELLIN " I AINT GET NO SLEEP CUSSA U, YOU AINT GONNA SLEEP CUSSA ME"

. kook . : BITCH

Taelicious: BITCH

. kook . : aw b we matchin

K N J: stop this headassery

. kook . : we gon stop when u start treatin underwear right, why them shits got holes in the booty hole?

K N J : I CANT SAY SHIT IN THIS GROUP CHAT WIT OUT GETTIN FLAMED

--

Chapter Text

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS = Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

Chimini: yall

Chimini: im crying in di club

K N J : why

Chimini: i aint never seen a cuter person other than suga

Taelicious: man wot typa gay shit...

Chimini: you rly gon say that damn well knowing you had jungkooks skinny dick up ya ass

Taelicious: u kno what next time ima jus keep my mouth shut

Chimini: anyway suga cute ass hell peep this photo of him

Chimini: aint he cute

Taelicious: I CHOKED

K N J : RHJDJFDJDJDS JIMIN WHAT THE FU KC

Chimini: OH MY GUH

Chimini: HOW I FUCK UP THAT BAD JDJDJDJDJD

Taelicious: WHY SHE LOOK LIKE ME WIT JUNGKOOK

Suga: i JUST WOKE UP WITH JIMIN LAUGHIN IN MY FACE

Suga: OH MY G D

Suga: WHY YOU EVEN HAVE THAT PIC

Chimini: MEMES ARE MEMES BITCH

-
10 am, saturday...its uhhhhh cold, prolly bc is winter tho

Chimini: yall oh my god

Chimini: a bitch cant even take a shit with out jungkook fuckin up

Taelicious: i hate my mans

. kook . : fuck y’all

Taelicious: BITCH

K N J : WHAT HE DO

Chimini: THIS MAN GON DECIDE TO COOK US A WHOLE BREAKFAST AND LEAVE IN THE MIDDLE OF IT TO GO JACK HIS DICK OR SUM

. kook . : I WAS TAKING A WALK BTIHC

Taelicious: A WALK

Taelicious: IN THE MIDDLE OF MAKIN BISCUTES

Suga: man didnt even turn off the flame yall he deadass said fuck it and left

Chimini: and tha whole time this was happening i was none the damn wiser bitch i was shittin my brains out

Chimini: them hot cheetos did me dirty

Chimini: suga started tryna bust the door open and i had to pause my shit and he tellin me " the damn house gon blow up, wipe ya ass and less go"

Suga: i aint say that

Taelicious: he rly saying he aint say that even tho i was right there wit him

Suga: fuck yall

Chimini: anyway thas was happen

K N J : how are yall still alive

-

Suga:jungkook what the hell is this

. kook . : jus a lil reminder for yall :-)

Chimini: IJDDDJKM

Taelicious: CHILLLL

Chimini: JUNGKOOK HELLA SERIOUS TOO FIJKFIJK USED A FANCY ASS FONT AND EVERYTHING

. kook . : only for yall

-

DI END
( OF DI CHAPTER)

Chapter Text

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS = Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

SUGA

= Spicydick = : damn i look fine ass hell in my insta post

Taelicious : FAX ONLY PAPI CHULO

. kook . : you aint gotta do all that tae

Taelicious : suck my dick

. kook . : i been doin that

Suga : wow you really do look good

Chimini : yup you do :)

= Spicydick = : wots with the passive aggressive smile jiminie

-start private chat with = Spicydick = ? [ yes no ] [ yes ]

Suga: jiminie? is that a nickname for Jimin?

= Spicydick = : yeah what abt it

Suga: nothing :)

= Spicydick = : whats wit you and Jimin and these smiliees t f

-
GC: CHOKE YOU RATS = Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

Chimini: oh u kno i jus find it funny how suga kno I like him yet he callin you cute :::)))

Suga: wht

Suga: what

Chimini: whos that? ion kno a suga hes dead to me

Suga: P E T T Y

Chimini: thas me

-

Tuesday, 2:34 pm

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS = Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

Chimini: s-suga : ) i need a ride bih

Suga: aight im coming

-

seokkjin : Jimin you dont have to stare at me so hard fhjuhfj

Chimini: what

Chimini:OH MY GODDD WAITTT A MINUTE I AINT NEVA SEE U IN PERSON HERE I THOT SUGA HAD OTHER BITCHES

Chimini: IM CRYING

seokkjin : lmaooooo

-

Chimini: i forgot how bad suga drives

Chimini: why this man playin wit god like that? ion wanna die yet

seokkjin : FR

Suga: fuckyal L

Chimini: OH NAAAA THIS MF CRAZY HE RLY TOOK HIS HANDSS OFF THA WHEEL TO TEXT THAT AND WE SWERVED bITHC

seokkjin : I GOTTA GET OUT THIS WACK MOBILE

Chimini: ^^^^^

Taelicious :yall look wot i made

Chimini: HURDHUEUHD

seokkjin : BTICH WHAT THE UFFUCK

K N J :IM CCRYGN

. kook. : lmAOOO THEY DID YOU DIRTY

-

. kook . : where did yall go is been like 10 mins

-

Chimini: THIS MAN STOPPED THE CAR SO THAT HE COULD BEAT OUR ASSES

seokkjin : you payin for my new furcoat

Suga: ALL YOU DID WAS GET SNOW ON IT

K N J : B BA BY CAN T U JUST LIKE I DONT KNOW... WIPE THAT SHIT OFF?

seokkjin : FUCK YALL

seokkjin : you buyin me a new one namjoon no questions bitch

K N J : AIGHT

. kook . : remember when we used to talk in coherent sentences

K N J : damn i do

Suga: that was before jimin and tae joined the chat

Chimini: what a wildt time for yall

Taelicious: cannot relate

-

Chapter Text

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS = Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

. kook . : lmao

. kook . : guess who got detention wit tae

Taelicious : howdy

suga: what did yall do ?

Chimini : tea time ladies!

. kook . : tae got caught suckin my dick

Taelicious : slurpin on that skinny penis!

. kook . : thas my mans

. kook . : wait.. skinny penis?

Taelicious : i said wot i said

Seokkjin : yall : *talkin abt suckin dick
my momma and ha friends : * holdin a prayer night downstairs *

Seokkjin : i can hear them all the way from my room im

Chimini : ya momma religious? this relatable tea

suga: damn sorry jin

Seokkjin : is aight its more creepy than anythin

K N J : omw

Seokkjin : u M

Seokkjin : NO

Seokkjin : FUC K YA MEAN 'OMW' MY MOMMA WILL SKIN ME ALIVE BITCH

-

Seokkjin : THIS MAN

Seokkjin : THROWIN ROCKS AT MY WINDOW

K N J : OPEN YA DAMN SHIT

Seokkjin : G O O D B Y E IMA GET MY ASS WHOPPED

K N J : IM TELLIN U TO OPEN IT

Seokkjin : STOP CLIMBING

K N J : I DO O WHT I WAN

K N J : FUC JIK

Seokkjin : HDJNFHJDJ

Seokkjin : HE FELL

Seokkjin :FJDJDK

Seokkjin : SHIT NAMJOON MY MOMMA HEARD YOU FALLIN SHE JUST SHOUTED " WHAT THE HELL"

K N J : DI PAIN

Seokkjin : IF YOU CAN TYPE ' DI PAIN' YOU CAN STAND YA ASS UP AND HIDE

-

Seokkjin : aight she went back inside

Chimini: this is such a wild ass ride

Taelicious: me and jungkook almost got our phones taken away bc we was cacklin

. kook . : i swear to god i farted

Taelicious: YOU SITTIN ON MY SWEATER FUCK YOU MEAN YOU FARTED

. kook . : i mean my booty cheeks done release the demons

Taelicious: jungkook you bout nasty ass hell

. kook . : bitch

-

suga: lmaoo why is this jimin staring at me when im aschleep

suga : deadass

Chimini: FUCK YI UT

Chimini: NEVA IN MY LIFE HAVE I FELT SO ATTACKED

= Spicydick = : IM CHOKIGN

= Spicydick = : SUGA YOU GON PLAY YA MANS LIKE THAT? FR ? JDKDKK

Chimini: man fuck yall

-

suga: jin at every function

suga : you cant tell me this aint him

Chimini: WOTS WIT YOU AND SLANDERIN ALL OF US MAN FU CK YOU

Seokkjin : thats deadass me tho i cackled

suga: i only provide valid fax

Chimini: yalld guess who learned the alphabet in sign language? ME BITCH I DID THAT!

= Spicydick = : KING OF LANGUAGES

suga: ^^^^^^

Seokkjin : ^^^^^

. kook . : ^^^^^^

Taelicious: ^^^^^

K N J : yall gon say that when a whole me exists

Seokkjin: we said wot we said bitch boy

K N J : choke on lettuce

Seokkjin: is lettuce code name for your pubes

Taelicious: ok enough yall are over yall got nasty

. kook . : fr

Seokkjin: now i know yall aint talkin when all yall do is suck each other dicks and talk abt it

Chimini: whoop there it is

. kook . : the gag is tae the one fuckin me AND suckin my skinny pepper

Taelicious: skinny pepper goodbye

suga: jungkook a bottom?

Chimini: guess he is

Seokkjin: a bottom

Seokkjin: i giggled

-

. kook . : suga , jimin

. kook . : FUCK ARE YALL ON

. kook . : YALL JUST GON LEAVE MY HOUSE IN SHAMBLES LIKE THIS WHILE IM IN DETENTION?

. kook . : oh damn yall schleep

. kook . : fine ima let this shit slide for today

-

Chimini: dick boy bought it suga! we safe we aint cleaning no house bby!

Suga: we did that

. kook . : YALL SO DAMN STUPID HOW YOU JUST GON TYPE THIS OUT AND SEND IT AS IF WE AINT ALL IN A GC TOGETHER

Chimini: SUGA HOW DARE YOU LET ME TYPE THAT AND SEND IT AS IF JUNGKOOK AINT IN THE GC

Suga: i done fotgot his ass was in this

. kook . : yall beta start cleaning

Chimini: aight

Suga: aight

-

Chapter Text

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS = Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

Taelicious: *grabs you by the collar and slams you on wall * no what you need to do is get over here and suck my titty

. kook . : wh

. kook . : TAEHYUNG

. kook . : YOU TEXTED THAT IN THE WRONG CHA T

Taelicious: oh m h gof

Chimini: YALL SOME NASTY ASS MFS

suga: wh at typa convo were yall even having

K N J : ion even wanna kno tbh

Seokkjin: hello bitch i do

Taelicious: we was role playin

Taelicious: its kinky

Seokkjin: nah b more like straight up fucked

Chimini: ok but suck my titty??? im?? the???

. kook . : tae wus role playin as a teacher and i was his kung fu student

suga: the

K N J : yall bitches creepy

Seokkjin: i-io n kno namjoon it is a lil se xy u kno

K N J : NAH I DONT KNOW

Seokkjin: LISTEN ALL IM SAYIN IS OUR SEX LIFE FUCKED

K N J : WELL IS NOT MY FAULT THAT THE LAST TIME WE WAS ROLE PLAYIN YOU LEFT YA PHONE ON THE COUCH AND YA MOMMA READ "GRINDS ON YOUR FACE" AND TEXTED ME SAYING "NEVER SPEAK TO MY SON AGAIN" AND BLOCKED MY PHONE NUMBER

Chimini: HDHUDJCJJ

. kook . : I REEMEBER THAT HFFJ

Taelicious: LMAOAOOAJDDJ

suga: GOODBYE MY SOUL DONE LEFT MY BODY

K N J : FUCK YOU MEAN YOU REMEMBER THAT JUNGKOOK

. kook . : abt that

. kook . : i read ya messages no hard feelins right :-)

K N J : dont make me leak ya nudes

. kook . : Y YOU AINT GOTTA DO ALL THAT

K N J : UHUH

K N J :TRY ME AGAIN

= Spicydick = : i leave the gc for 30 mins and this what happens yall wild

-

Chimini: oh my gOD

Suga: what

Taelicious: wot

Chimini : we got finals tommowrw

Suga: this is a suprise to you?

Chimini: I FOR GOT

Suga: how ? the teachers were up our asses reminding us

Chimini: ION KNO IT JUST HAPPENED

Suga: do you want me to come over so that we can study

Chimini: you just left tho

Suga: i can turn back

. kook . : we get it suga you love jimin , who gives a damn let his ass fail

Chimini: now i know jungkook aint talking bc if i recall correctly... oh ya YOU A BUM

. kook . : 2+2 = fish? no correlation

Suga: die

Taelicious: don t talk to my bby like that

Chimini: wow tae your baby

Chimini: how accurate of you considering youre dating a whole toddler

K N J : when did suga's soul enter jimin's body fhjfhj this legendary roast!

-
TAEHYUNG

Sunday night - 11:34 pm

[ Make new chat? ] [ Yes No ] [ Yes ] [ name : | dick chenney ? ]

GC : Dick Chenney? = Spicydick = , suga , . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

Taelicious: GUY S

suga : what

Taelicious: im at the park and jin and namjoon are here and there talking to each other and jin has his head on namjoons shoulder imcryin h

Chimini: oH YMG OF

Chimini: BEST COUPLE 2016

. kook . : me and tae say hello

Chimini: shut ya lil ass up

Taelicious: yo

Taelicious: omh

Taelicious: omg

Taelicious: i think they bouta kiss they jsut starin into each other eyes

Taelicious: this is soc ut e

-

Taelicious: oh

Taelicious: jin started crying

. kook . : WHAT

Suga: jin? nah you been spyin on the wrong couple aint no way he crying

Chimini: oh my god wots wrong

Taelicious: he said he wants to play a song to namjoon and namjoon gave him his phone and jins searching it up and namjoon looks so in love im deadass tryna hold my sobs in

Chimini: IM CRIYING

-

Taelicious: O H YM GOD THE SONG

Taelicious: ISSO CU TE

Taelicious: JINS BLUSHIGN

-

Taelicious: NOW NAMJOONS BLUSHING

Taelicious: FAVE COUPLE OF 201 6

Chimini: OH Y GOOF

Chimini: IM IN TEARS

Suga: what song is it

Taelicious: is called bubblegum but its on soundcloud

Suga: let me listen

-

Chimini: link

Suga: https://soundcloud.com/ccottrill/bubble-gum

Suga: why am i crying

Chimini: ARE YOU REALL Y

Suga: listen to the lyrics

-

. kook . : son

. kook . : i aint ever been more happy before

Taelicious: :(((

Chimini : namjoon and jin are the best couple to ever exist fax no printe r

Taelicious : ^^^^^^^^

. kook . : ^^^^^^^

Suga: ^^^^^

-

Chapter Text

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS = Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

Chimini : WOW I LOVE FAILING

Suga: im sure you did fine

Suga: taehyung on the other hand....

Taelicious: is not my fault i was tryna tell jimin some words of encouragement and the teacher made me leave the room

Suga: you yelled " yes momma! fuck it up momma!" at jimin from across the room

Taelicious: words.of.encouragement.

Suga: do you

-

K N J : guess who promoted they mixtape in the essay portion of the final!!!

Seokkjin: MY MANS

K N J : YA MANS

. kook . : yall so damn cute i love dumb ass couples

Chimini: me and suga say hi

Suga: we're not a couple

Chimini: anyway

= Spicydick = : 2+2 = fish? suga aint u the one tellin me how much you wanna love jimin wit all ya heart in chem everyday?

Suga: aint gotta out me like that

Chimini: king of loving me wit all ya heart

Suga: :)

- that time it was a genuine smiley

Wednesday

K N J : FDUHDUDJDJ

K N J : AS MR.CRACKER WAS HANDING ME BACK MY TESTS HE SAID HE HAD TO TALK TO ME AND TOLD ME

K N J : "reading your essay made me a better man, I also listened to your mixtape and had a spiritual awakening, thank you "

Chimini: OH GMG G

Taelicious: mans is over here giving ppl reasons to live while im making teachers retire early fhfhf

Suga: oh m y god

= Spicydick = : thas our mans! !!

Seokkjin: whos our

= Spicydick = : thas jins mans! !!

Seokkjin: thank

Seokkjin : anyway wot yall get on yalls test

Taelicious: .95

= Spicydick = : DAM N YOU MADE A 95!?

Taelicious: i said POINT 95

Seokkjin: wayaminute ....

Suga: POINT HFHFJF

Chimini: HUFDJKFLDHJFKD

K N J : A DECIMALLLL

= Spicydick = : LMAOOOOO

Taelicious: I HAD 4/5 OF MY ANSWER CIRCLED ON THE FIRST QUESTION AND THEN I HAD TO LEAVE THE CLASS BC I WAS BEING A "DISTURBANCE"

Suga: understatement of 2016

Taelicious: ive had enough of ya lil hatin ass

Suga: anyway

-

Chimini: I MADE AN 80

Chimini: I LOVE GOD

Seokkjin: 80 aint that good

Chimini: FUCK YOU BITCH

Chimini: AN 80 GOOD IN MY BOOK I L O V E GOD

K N J : oh ya i made a 100

Seokkjin: i made a 94

. kook . : 99

= Spicydick = : :) yall ain t needa know

K N J : what ya lil dumb ass get

= Spicydick = : i said what i said :)

Chimini: 10 cents he made a 50

= Spicydick = : FU CK

= Spicydick = : WHO TOLD YOU

Chimini: I WAS RIGHT???

Chimini: Lmaoofjd

= Spicydick = : hope yall lil smartasses choke

= Spicydick = : is not my fault english trash

Suga: all you do is schleep in english

= Spicydick = : ya bc mr cracker boring as hell

Chimini: yo he got a fat ass

= Spicydick = : RIGHT?!

Suga: its ok

Suga: my ass is fatter

Chimini: LMAIAJDIJJJDIKSIDFJDK

= Spicydick = :FHSJDKHFD

K N J : LMAOOO NOAH FENC E

K N J : BUT NO THE FUC K IT AINT

Suga: I HOPE YALL ALL DI E

-

Chapter Text

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS = Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

Chimini : tae

Chimini : i need my jacket back

Chimini : you took mine on accident

Taelicious : oh dang fr?

Taelicious : t has so unfortunate

Chimini : it got the key to jungkooks house s o

Chimini : ima need it bacc

Taelicious : aight where you @

Chimini: im out side jks house

Taelicious : im tied

Chimini: ta e pls

Taelicious : I-i said wot i said ill get up in 10 mins ill bring you tha key later

Chimini: i hoe you choke you lil fake ass bitch ass

Taelicious : lmao

Taelicious : you mad t ?

-

[ Start Chat with Suga? ] [ Yes No ] [ Yes ]

Taelicious : y o my dude

Taelicious : i done did it!! i set erything up

Taelicious : go pick him up bitch!!

Taelicious : take him to ya house yall can fuCK

Suga: im

Suga: aight but only bc i dont like seing him sad

Taelicious : you whipped as hell

Suga: a whole you saying that to me

Suga: i giggled

-

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS = Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

Suga: jimin do you want me to pick you up?

Chimini: IMCRIYNG

Chimini: YE S

Suga: aight lmao

Suga: be there in 5

Chimini: i swear to god im sucking your dick when i get in that car

Taelicious: GE T IT SUGA

-

Taelicious: did you do it jimin

Taelicious: are you slurping on that skinny penis

Chimini: tae

Chimini: iwussa joke

Taelicious: fuck yal l

-

K N J : tae why yo glove got a moldy ass avocado in it

Taelicious: FUCK THATS WHERE THAT WAS?

Taelicious: you hella late i was tryna look for that like 3 months ago i hate my lif e

K N J : it was in jins dorm lmao

Taelicious: hm holup

Seokkjin: ::))

Taelicious: bc if i recall

Taelicious: jin said my avocado went missing

Seokkjin: intersting :) theo ry

Taelicious: you rat why'd you take it

Seokkjin: i aint even gon lie ... ya momma told me it was stinkin up ha house

Taelicious: IT WASNT THA MOLDY BTICH

Seokkjin: you rly gon say that when you know damn well there was a whole damn new species living on that shit

Seokkjin: its gon through like 6 generations seriously tae

Taelicious: DIE

Taelicious : :'( ima miss sergio

Seokkjin: bacctrac

K N J : who in di hell

. kook . : who's sergio

Taelicious: di avocado

Seokkjin: fhuffjj

. kook . : aight i was bouta fight that damn fruit like

Taelicious: issa vegetable

Seokkjin: wrong tm symbol

K N J : tae ... issa fruit

Taelicious: it not sweet t h o

Taelicious: fine wot ever yall wack ass hell anyway

-

Chimini: YALL

Chimini: DI AMOUNT OF YURI ON ICE POSTERS THIS MAN HAS IN HIS ROOM

Chimini: iM BOUT SHOOKED AS FUC K IM

Suga: YOU AINT GOTTA DO ALLT HAT

Chimini: A WHOLE SHRINE JDJDJD SINCE WHEN ARE CARTOONS THIS SERIOUS FHFJJ

Suga: holup

Suga: its not a cartoon bitch

K N J : thas how serious suga is abt yuri on ice hffhfj he called jimin a bitch

Seokkjin: ooh shit this gettin juicy!

Chimini: now i kno ya bum ass aint just call me a bitch

Suga: i said what i said

Chimini: h m ok

-

. kook . : yall goodt?

Suga: he ignoring me

Suga: im want to die

Seokkjin: thas what ya ass gET

K N J : ^^^^^

Taelicious: ^^^^^

-

Chapter Text

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS = Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

Chimini : IM CRYING

Chimini : I WOKE UP FROM MY NAP BC SUGA WAS PUSHING ME AND HE TOLD ME TO CLIMB OUT DI WINDOW

Chimini : I LOOKED AT THIS MAN LIKE "NUH UH NOT MY GAY ASS" BUT HE MADE ME GET OUT AND

Chimini : HOW I FALL OUT A WINDOW WHEN ITS 5 INCHES OFF THE GROUND HERFHJHIFJ

suga : I HEARD MY DAD COMING AND HJDHDJ WHEN HE LEFT I LOOKED OUTSIDE THE WINDOW AND JIMIN WAS CRYING ON THE GROUND

suga : HE FR FELL OUT MY WINDOW I CANT BRE ATH FFJ

Chimini : FUC KC YOU IM CRYING IT HURT TO BREATH I FELL ON MY CHEST

suga : AINT NO ONE TELL YOU TO CLIMB OUT WITH YA HANDS IN FRONT ARE YOU DUMB OR DUMB

Chimini: th is is homophobia how dare you

seokkjin : is 7 am

seokkjin : can yall shut the FUCK up

Taelicious: is almost like theres a mute button but u kno go awf

seokkjin : shut up baby dick ass

Taelicious: ion who you talkin 2 bc the only baby dick ass is namjoon

K N J : thas cold

K N J : i aint even fully woke up and yall already flaming me

= Spicydick = : AIGHT ENUF

= Spicydick = : I GOTTA TELL YALL SUM

. kook . : wot

= Spicydick = : so u m yall kno how i havent been talkin alot on here?

. kook . : son i forgot u existed for a while

. kook . : anyway ya

= Spicydick = : aight well ::::))) is b c ::)))))))))))

= Spicydick = : i m

= Spicydick = : genderfluid ! !nhdndhd and I-I Uh been takin some time to think come to terms with it

K N J : hu h

Taelicious: wus that

Chimini: oh my goD FR ?? BTIKHCCC

Chimini: ME TOO BTHC HCHC

Chimini: BITCH ARE YOU GOO FD

Chimini: ARE YOUAIGHT U AINT RESPOND

= Spicydick = : im shaking :(

Chimini: IM CRYING I LVOE YOU

Taelicious: w-wuss that

K N J : when you identify as both female and male

Taelicious: hoshit

Taelicious: aight

Taelicious: monarch of being genderfluid!

suga : HO SEOK

suga : WHY AINT U TELL US SOONER

suga : WE LOVE YOU BTICH

seokkjin : ^^^^^^^ faX ONLY

= Spicydick = : im crYING

= Spicydick = : its bc i jus had doubts i on kno im good now

seokkjin : MAN I LOVE YALL SO MUCH

suga : ^^^^ DEADASS B

Taelicious: ^^^^^^

Chimini: ^^^^^^^^X2377474

-

Chimini: yo jungkook where you @

. kook . : taco bell

. kook . : you want some?

Chimini : hell na i just threw up reading that KEEP IT

. kook . : why you hatin on taco bell? its better than them salads you eat

suga: dont start

suga: salads are the backbone of the food economy

Chimini: ^^^^ suga gets it

. kook . : he only gets it bc ya nut prolly taste like tomatoes and cabbage wit ranch sit down

Chimini: IM

Taelicious: taco bell the shit jimin you missin out

Chimini: taco bell taste like booty hole and thas why yall like it so much

. kook . : WHAT TYPE OF TOMFOOLERY

Taelicious : i cant even argue bc is true

Taelicious : HFJHSJF

Taelicious : JUNGKOOK JUST SCREAMED " TAE WHAT THE FUCK " IN THIS TACO BELL AND ALL THE WHITES ARE STARING AT US FHFJJDJSISIKL

suga : hope yall asses get kicked out

Chimini : ima make a list of all the foods that are WRONG

-

Chimini: milk - nasty ass hell , taco bell - taste like booty cheeks and rancid hot wings , that concludes my list

. kook . : aw naw

. kook . : milk is amazing

Chimini: i just gagged

suga: ima hit u upside the head milk is bout good af

. kook . : ^^^^^^^^

Chimini: w r o n g

Chimini: tell me this milk lovers

Chimini: the founder of milk just went up to a cow and suckled on is titties and swallowed the damn liquid that came out?

Chimini: that shit coulda been poisonous aw na

. kook . : oh my god

suga: t-this man

suga: my whole life just changed wit one badly worded sentence oh my guh

Chimini: thas di power of me

Chimini: yall rly doubted

Chimini: how yall feel

. kook . : im still in shock why did the founder of milk do that

. kook . : all for some cow titties

suga: im so close to goin vegan i cant

suga: whY HE DO THAT

suga: ALL FOR COW TITTIE S

Chimini: a l l f o r c o w t i t t i e s

-

Chapter Text

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS = Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

5 Days before chrimus - 7 PM ion kno wot day

K N J : fuck

K N J : Jin im sorry i cant deal with this shit

K N J : i want to love you in front of your family and I cant

seokkjin : im sorry

seokkjin : i know

K N J : where are you at

seokkjin : i dont know

K N J : please

-

seokkjin : you know what Namjoon? im getting tired of your shit

seokkjin : you think i asked for my mom to be crazy religious like this?

seokkjin : do you know how bad this is affecting me too ?

seokkjin : i have to hear her constantly telling me shit abt my own sexuality

seokkjin : namjoon im afraid

seokkjin : she already thinks we're doing something we shouldnt be doing

seokkjin : it hurts me so much

seokkjin : and then you just keep on talking about it

seokkjin : what am i supposed to do? what do i even tell her?

seokkjin : do you think this is easy for me?

seokkjin : you act like IM the problem like fuck im sorry i cant have parents like yours that accept you for who you are

K N J : shit jin

K N J : im sorry baby i didnt mean it like that

K N J : i forget that you have different parents than mine im so sorry

K N J : instead of comforting you about the situation we're in i just complain to you fuck

K N J : im so sorry i understand

K N J : i know this isnt easy for you

K N J : im sorry

seokkjin : im not gonna say its fine bc its not

seokkjin : fuck namjoon im so pissed

seokkjin : i thought these fights ended years ago

seokkjin : this the same exact shit you were complaining about 2 years ago remember that?

seokkjin : i keep on telling you and telling you and you STILL dont understand

K N J : jin im different now

K N J : please

K N J : please believe me

-

seokkjin : fuck

seokkjin : i loveyou

seokkjin : im sorry im making a big deal out of shit we both cant change

K N J : you are definitely in the right to be mad

K N J : im such an insensitive ass i hate myself fucK

K N J : you know what jin

K N J : come stay with me for the week

K N J : you dont need to be around your mom on christmas

seokkjin : bthc are yo ucrazy

seokkjin : i cant se eim crying i s blury

seokkjin : i wipe dmy tears

seokkjin : namjoon you know damn well my momma wont let me stay at your house for christmas

K N J : thats why i made a plan

seokkjin : when ? ? the??

K N J : you tell you mom your going to your friend 'bellas' house ( bella is codename for namjoon aka me ) at 6 pm

K N J : when she asks you why you say you just need to drop a gift off at 'her' house

K N J : she says yes and you 'drop a gift off ' at my house ( you actually just gon say hi to my parents and stuff )

K N J : you go back to your house and at precisely 8:00 pm you tell someone you know at the chrimus party that your going to the bathroom

K N J : make sure no one sees you make your way to the front door

K N J : you go to my house and leave to go back at 10:00 pm

K N J : when your mom asks where you were just say you were hanging out wit ya cousins

K N J : next at 12:00 am your mom is probably gonna be drunk so just tell her youre going to spend the night at your cousins house and come to mine

K N J : at 7:00 am ill drive you back to your house and you can sneak in through the window

K N J : now thas a plan

seokkjin : this man .....

seokkjin : wot typa disney bullshit uddjdj

seokkjin : how you come up with this in like 2 mins im????

K N J : i got mad plan making skills

K N J : are you gonna do it

seokkjin : btihc fuc yeah

K N J : team titties less go!

seokkjin : team titties less g o !

-

Chapter Text

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS = Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

Chimini : wow i love when my fake ass glasses break

suga : those were fake?

Chimini : bithc i got 21/21 vision i can see into ya pores

suga : wussa pore

. kook . : you deadass got no idea wot a pore is

Taelicious : but ya skin so beautifu l .. im

Chimini : thas fuckedt up how come u get beauiful ass skin and i got this mess and u don even kno wot basic skin care is

suga : i wash my face thas skincare right?

Taelicious : what cleanser do you use i gotta cop me some

. kook . : ^^^^^

suga : wussa cleanser

Chimini : oh mygod

suga : all i do is wet my hand and dab a lil bit of the water on my skin no extra bitch boy

Chimini : WIT YA HANDS OH MY GO D

Taelicious : GOOD! BYE!! THIS MAN!! IS WILD!!

seokkjin : oh girl i got a WHOLE skin care routine

Chimini : LINK

. kook . : PLEASE

seokkjin : get ya beauty tips wit a dab of ranch

seokkjin : anyway yall thot as if id give my tips away to some bums ha i giggled

Taelicious : yo thas cold as fuck my dude

Chimini : deadass b ...

. kook . : jin is cancelled

-

Chapter Text

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS = Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

. kook . : tae can you come over i need to talk to you abt something

Taelicious : fuc i cant im @ my cousins house

Taelicious : wish i was bac at ya house wit you rammin into this puthy!

. kook . : uhm

. kook . : yeah

. kook . : thas something i wanted to talk you abt ..

Taelicious : wot? ackin all serious and shit you got hiv or some? dont play with me

. kook . : NO NO IS NUN OF THAT I JUST

. kook . : FUCK OK WE CANT TALK IN THIS CHAT HOLD ON

-

Start chat with [ Taelicious ] [ Yes No ] [ Yes ]

. kook . : now bby

. kook . : this is serious so

. kook . : please act serious

Taelicious : ok?? im??

. kook . : we need to talk about our relationship

Taelicious : oh fuck

Taelicious : wot i do?

. kook . : nothing! nothing like that its just

. kook . : i feel like you dont love me like how i love you

Taelicious : what?

Taelicious : jungkook what ???

. kook . : i feel like you only care about sex and yeah its nice but its like you ONLY call me when you need to fuck

. kook . : and half of the time you dont even stay after to cuddle!

. kook . : i feel like some dumb dude in an unrequited love fanfic

Taelicious : shit

Taelicious : i knew you were gonna catch on to shit

. kook . : what

. kook . : do you really not love me

. kook . : taehyung what the fuck

Taelicious : NO

Taelicious : JUNGKOOK

Taelicious : i love you .. alo t

Taelicious : but its hard to come in terms with that

Taelicious : i was always used to just fucking someone and leaving and i only think about ME

Taelicious : im scared to admit that i have real ass feelings for you

Taelicious : i hate myself for saying this but im scared of leaving the "old" me behind

. kook . : what? the old taehyung that would give their number out to anyone just because he was desperate ?

. kook . : woow what an amazing past you have

. kook . : if you really cared about me you would leave the "old" you behind

. kook . : god your so fucking selfish

. kook . : im serious right now

. kook . : i want to break up

. kook . : no sense in being with someone that wont love me back

. kook . : guess i really am a dumb dude in an unrequited love fanfic (AN: BTICH DID YOU SEE WOT I THERE BTIHCHCHC)

Taelicious : are you deadass

Taelicious : jungkook i WILL change

Taelicious : we've only been dating for a month (AN: or 2 ion kn o )

Taelicious : and you cant comment on my past life style as if you know me so damn well

-

Taelicious : jungkook please

Taelicious : are you fr

Taelicious : i lvoe you pel ase

Taelicious : im sorru y

-
Chimini chat -

Taelicious : he broke up with me

Taelicious : ive been in my cousins bathroom for 20 mins and i already used up 1 and a half rolls

Chimini: WOT

Chimini: BITHC NO

Chimini: FUCK YOU MEAN JUNGKOOK BROKE UP WITH YOU YAL L LOVE EACH OTHER

Chimini: IM CRYING THIS ISNT REAL WO T

Chimini: WHAT HAPPENED

Taelicious : [screen shot #4894}

Taelicious : [screen shot #4343}

Taelicious : [screen shot #4256}

Taelicious : its my fault anyway

Taelicious : hes right im selfish ass fuck and i was so selfish during our relationship and imbeing selfish right now by using up all di toilet role imc rihn

Chimini: MAN FUCK HIS BUM ASSS DONT HE KNO YOU DIFF??

Chimini: AND THE MAN GOT THE DAMN AUDACITITTY TO COMMENT ON HOW YOU WERE BACK THEN

Chimini: AS IF HE WASNT DATING 3 CHICKS AT THE SAME TIME AT ONE POINT

Chimini: you kno he deadass was

Taelicious : WHAT THE UF CK

Taelicious : MANS GOT THE NERVE TO COMMENT ON MY LIFE IM LIVID

Chimini: ME TOO BTIHC

Chimini: HE DONT EVEN KNOW THE WHOLE STORY

Chimini: YOU ONLY GOT A HARD TIME LOVIN PPL BC YOU USED TO DO ANYTHIN FOR LOVE AND THAT IN TURN EMOTIONALLY DAMAGED YOU EVEN MORE THAN YOU ALREADY WAS

Taelicious : damn jimin aight aint gotta rub di salt on my wound

Taelicious : god i rly do love him so much my heart hurt

Chimini: MAN FUCK HIM

-

Suga chat -

Chimini: COLLECT YA MAN BEFORE I WHOOP HIS ASS

Chimini: WHY TAE CRYIN IN DI BAFROOM OF HIS COUSIN HOUSE ????

Chimini: OH YA BC YA MANS BROKE UP WITH HIM

Chimini: I SWEAR IMA START SWINGING WHEN I SEE HIS ASS

suga: will you shut the fuck up

Chimini: bitch huh

suga: you think jungkook isnt hurt by this?

suga: he broke up with him because taehyung doesnt even love him stop standing up for your fucked up ass friend

Chimini: suga

Chimini: dont fucking start

Chimini: dont go calling taehyung fucked up when you dont even know the whole story

Chimini: dont make me madder than i already am

suga: ill do what ever the fuck i want

suga: jungkook loved taehyung jimin

suga: and all taehyung did was take advantage of him

suga: guess thats how you'll be too

Chimini: are you serious?? dont talk about me when this aint a conversation about me

Chimini: man you and jungkook are the damn same

Chimini: aint got time to listen but got time to flap ya damn lips

Chimini: you know what fine

Chimini: if im gonna be the same as taehyung then what? are you gonna be the same as jungkook?

Chimini: you gonna break up with me now too?

suga: we're not dating

Chimini: yeah

Chimini: we arent

Chimini: and im fucking glad

Chimini: goodbye

-

Chapter Text

-

Taelicious chat -

Chimini : man

Chimini: im mad ass fuck now

Taelicious: why

Chimini: tell me why suga's dumbass started sayin some bullshit

Taelicious: show me tha receipts im still sad

Chimini: [image #9348]

Chimini : [image #5849]

Taelicious: oh m h yg

Taelicious: BITCH WYD

Taelicious: MY RELATIONSHIP MIGHT BE RUINED BUT DONT RUIN YOURS

Chimini :HIS STUPID ASS WAS SAYING SHIT ABT YOU

Chimini : YOU MY RIDE OR DIE BITCH I AINT LETTIN THESE FOOLS ACT BRAVE AROUND ME

Taelicious: now im cryin bc u a great ass friend

Taelicious: god did that creating you

Chimini : i think the same abt you :(

Chimini : go d

Chimini : ion even care abt suga rn tbh

Chimini : mans telling me to shut the fuck up and shit

Chimini : him and jungkook the exact same

Taelicious: i mean jungkook god a tinier forehead but

Chimini : tha s unnecessary in fo

Taelicious: its tha truth tho

Chimini: its irrelevant tho

Taelicious: aight anyway

Taelicious: how am i gon get my man back

Taelicious: i juts need him to listen to my ass

Chimini: tae have u even tried to explain ya self like di screenshots you sent me is just u sayin "bih i aint like that" and then saying "imcrying i love you please comeback" like no where in that breakdown did u tell him why di old you was like that

Taelicious: .....

Taelicious: damn bitch you right

Taelicious: ruined my EXPENSIVE mascara for nothing! U know I'm not a cheap bitch

Chimini: if you dont sit ya 2$ walmart mascara ass down and talk to ya man

-

Jungkook chat -

Taelicious: jungkook

Taelicious: ex bby for now

Taelicious: listen to me

. kook . : he not here right now

Taelicious: bitch

Taelicious: listen to me

Taelicious: this is gon be hard to tell you but

Taelicious: ok

Taelicious: so the whole reason i said "Im gonna miss the old me" is because yes you was right

Taelicious: i did use to do anything for some damn love

Taelicious: i was a prostitute on the DL

. kook . : youre underaged

Taelicious: i said wot i said now let me finish

Taelicious: one time i met this one dude and it was gon be a casual fling u kno i paid him bc i was rly desperate

Taelicious: but the gag is

Taelicious: a bitch fell in love!

Taelicious: and a bitch got told by the same dude after 6 months of leading on that he aint like they ugly ass and that they was scammin!

Taelicious: ok but fr fr

Taelicious: i really loved him and he told me how "this was fun and all but i dont think we should see each other again, my BOYFRIEND is getting suspicious oh by the way ya i have a boyfriend" HE NEVA TOLD ME I WAS DI OTHER WOMAN

Taelicious: that shit broke my damn heart

Taelicious: and since i love too damn easy di happened to me bout 3 more times before i just said to myself " bitch get it together you dont need no mans they dont even want you for you they want you for di pussy so just give em wot they want and skur"

Taelicious: now this mastered technique helped my ass not fall in love but then i kinda noticed after i got a loyal boyfriend..." oh shit lmao why it actually hard to love now "

Taelicious: i was just so paranoid that they only wanted me for sex, i was so damn focused on not getting MY ass hurt that i wasnt thinkin bout them

Taelicious: now ion kno if you noticed

Taelicious: but that loyal boyfriend is you

Taelicious: jungkook im sorry i love you

Taelicious: i hope

Taelicious: we can get back together

. kook . : ...

. kook . : damn bitch wrote a whole novel

Taelicious : JUNGKOOK IM

. kook . : oh its suga btw

. kook . : im at jungkooks house with toilet paper he used all the rolls up in his house

Taelicious : i just told u

Taelicious : my whole

Taelicious : life story

Taelicious : and u wasnt even jungkook

Taelicious : and di gag award goes to headass aka me

Taelicious : get jungkook on the damn phone and make him read this shit

Taelicious : if he dont take me back after this im stabbing myself

-

Chapter Text

Taelicious chat -

. kook . : o h fuck

. kook . : shit taehyung

. kook . : fuc k

. kook . : im sorry baby

. kook . : im such a hard head ass im s o sorry

. kook . : i gotta remind my self to listen sometimes fuck im sorry

Taelicious : ITS OK

Taelicious : CAN WE PL S

Taelicious : GET BAC TOGETHER

Taelicious : IMA CRY

. kook . : ya ya

. kook . : i cant believe i actually did that im

Taelicious : hey fat head

. kook . : its big head

Taelicious : nah u got a fat head

. kook . : im YOUR fat head tho

Taelicious : fax only 3>

Taelicious : wait how u turn the three

. kook . : boy is you deadass

. kook . : < + 3 = <3

Taelicious : nvm i got it Ɛ>

. kook . : wot in di hell

-
GC: CHOKE YOU RATS = Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

Taelicious : GUESS WHO BAC TOGETHER WIT THEY MANS BITHC

Taelicious : ME BITHC

Chimini : kiNG

seokkjin : i aint even kno yall broke up im

= Spicydick = : deadass ^

K N J : ^^^^

Chimini : did i ever tell yall suga ugly as fuck

Chimini : bum lookin ass

Chimini : go choke bitch

-

Chimini chat -

Taelicious: MANS WYD

Chimini : IM MADT AGAIN

Chimini : NOW THAT YOU BACK TOGETHER IM SURE SUGA KNOWS BC HES WIT JUNGKOOK

Chimini : WHERES MY APOLOGY TH O

Chimini : GON

Chimini : NOT HERE

Chimini : THE OPPOSITE OF PRESENT

-

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS = Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

K N J : o shit ion even kno if tats teasing or u n suga havi problems

seokkjin : why these legendary relationships fallin apart

= Spicydick = : wym u and namjoon still together

seokkjin : bro thas sweet as fukc

suga : jimin why are you talking abt me go do some shiit wit ya life borin ass

. kook . : MANS

= Spicydick = : o fuck bro

Chimini: aight ill do some shit fuck you

. kook . : JIMIM N

. kook . : HE AINT MEANT THT

. kook . : MANS JUST DUMB ASS HELL

Chimini: naw he said wot he said ima respeck that let me go do some bullshit

-

seokkjin : yall is lit been hours wot yall think he doin

Taelicious : he suckin dick

suga : what

. kook . : FHUJDJ

. kook . : SUGA LOOK MAD SERIOUS IFJF

K N J : yo fr fr

Taelicious : bitch he called me in tears talmbout some " fuck him i hate him ima do what he want bitch ima go to that club downtown and find me some man ion need suga "

Taelicious : it wos hard to take him serious wit all da snifflin fdjj but he fr

suga : oh

suga : fu c

-
. kook . : FUHSHUFHUSJ

. kook . : LAMFIDHSJ

. kook . : IMA GIVE YALL DI TEA

. kook . : JIMIN CLINGIN ONT O SUGA , AINT GOT A SHIRT ON , BREAF STINK BODY STINK , T EARS ALL OVA DI MANS FACE

. kook . : THIS BOUT TRAGIC ASS HELL

= Spicydick = : oh my god

K N J : tell jimin to hmu wit his dealer this a mad ting

. kook . : suga : "shh its ok " jimin : " nO FU C OYU I JSUT WANTED AN APOLOGY IS EASY YOU GOT ME CRYING THIS AINT RIGHT FHJ"

. kook . : I CANT GET OVER THIS MANS WAILIN CRYIN NOISES

Taelicious : THAS MAD FUCKED BR O

K N J : this sad im

-
saturday morning ,chrimus eve

suga: yal l

suga: i jus woke up

suga: n jimin aint her e

Taelicious : he @ my house

suga: why

Chimini: bc ya ass STILL aint give me an apology and expect me to be all " suga il y give a lil kiss b " man fuck tat ! ill be waitin @ taes house for a real ass sorry from you dont talk, text or breafe near me until u got one ready to give

suga: ....

suga: aight

-

Chapter Text

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS = Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

K N J : chrimus : here

K N J : love : only for jin

K N J : dick : out

seokkjin : ion fink u did that right but aight

seokkjin : when was i supposed to come over again?

K N J : YOU DIDNT MEMORIZE THE PLAN?

seokkjin : i don kno who the fuc u think i am or who i might be but bitch i aint them

seokkjin : of course i ain memorize no damn plan

K N J : aightaight its 4 pm right now so get ready to 'drop a present off at bellas house' at 6

seokkjin : funny how i forgot i needed a fake ass present for 'bella' :-)

K N J : BITHC

K N J : JUST IMPROVISE

seokkjin : you gettin a bra

K N J : where you gettin a bra from

seokkjin : forget i said that

seokkjin : wussa bra

-

K N J : WHERE YOU @ ITS 6:01

seokkjin : MANS WILL YOU WAIT WIT YA IMPATIENT ASS '

seokkjin : i just got in my car my momma was talmbout some "whos bella , ion kno a bella , is she ya girlfriend? , you betta not have given her some bullshit"

K N J : DAMN THAS UNFORTUNATE ANYWAY GET HERE SAFE BYE

-

K N J : YES MOMMA PHASE 1 WAS A SUCCESS

seokkjin : WHAT DID WE DO?

K N J : THAT.

. kook . : yall s o fuckin corny

-
K N J : jin its 7:56 get ready to tell someone u goin to di restroom and make sure no one sees you

seokkjin : aight aight

-
K N J : yo where are you its 8:20

seokkjin : SHI T IM SORRY B MY AUNT SAW ME GOING TOWARDS THE DOOR AND WAS ASKING WE QUESTIONS,I PRAY SHE DONT SNITCH

seokkjin : ANYWAY IM OWM

K N J : OK NO PRESSURE BIH I MEAN WE 20 SUM MINS BEHIND SCHEDULE BUT

seokkjin : S HTU THE FUCK

-
K N J : i love chrimus

K N J : and jin

K N J : did yall kno i love jin

K N J : i love jin :-)

= Spicydick = : C

kook . : O

Chimini : R

Taelicious : N

seokkjin : Y

-

seokkjin : yo i think i might actually pull this off

seokkjin : di disney the parent trap plan worked im cryin

seokkjin : god did that namjoon

K N J : HE RLY DI D

K N J : I LOVE U BITVH

seokkjin : I AINT EVA GON STOP LOVIN U

seokkjin : BITCH

-

Chimini : wow i love having literally no one to spend Christmas with ::::))))

. kook . : oh shit jimin where you @?

Taelicious : JIMIN BTHC

Chimini : im at mcdonalds crying lmao

Chimini : catch me at the lil playground ting they got eating a big mac seasoned wit my tears

Taelicious : WE COMIN

-
Chimini : yALL ARE SO DAMN NICCE I LOVE YALL

Chimini : PEEP THIS PHOTO WE TOOK SQUAD GOAL INSTA ACCS ARE SHAKING

Chimini: [ image #4883 ] ( AN: I WUS GON EDIT A PIC BUT I COULDNT FIND ONE I LIKED )

= Spicydick = : I LOVE BEST FRIENDS

Chimini: HOBI COME WIT US

= Spicydick = : aigHT

-

Chapter Text

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS = Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

9 PM - Still chrimus

K N J : [ image #9504]

K N J : me and jin kissin underneath the cameltoe <333

. kook . : I JUST SCREAMED OUT LOUD

Chimini : FHFJJJJC CAMELTOE

Taelicious : GET YA MANS JIN

seokkjin : NAMJOON IT TAKE TWO SECS TO LOOK UP IF ITS CAMELTOE OR MISTLETOE

= Spicydick = : IM PISSINGGF

K N J : bithc im bout drunk af i aint gon search shit up

seokkjin : you had half a sip of a wine cooler calm down

Chimini : thas bout embarrassing ass hell

Taelicious : im gon clown his ass tomorrow

. kook . : im still laufin over the cameltoe ting

-

. kook . : OH MYGOF

. kook . : SUGA JUS CAME OUTA NO WHERE WIT A WHOLE RADIO BOX THING

seokkjin : mans.... you mean a boombox?

seokkjin : little baby dont even kno wot that is

. kook . : I MEAN WOT I MEAN N I SAID WOT I SAID

. kook . : HE JUST SHOUTED "THIS IS FOR JIMIN"

Taelicious : UYFSUHDUSHS

= Spicydick = : OH MY GOD

= Spicydick = : HE PLAYED VAGINA BY CUPCAKKE IM GON

. kook . : HES SINGING ALONG IMFJ

. kook . : BITCH YALL GOTTA SEE THIS

. kook . : [ video #9482 ]

-
seokkjin : I CHOKED ON MY MARGARITA

K N J : suga fukcn widL

Taelicious : mans already that drunk that he cant type correctly? wot other drinks has he had

seokkjin : air

seokkjin : im being deadass he aint even drink anything else i fink the wine cooler gettin to him

Taelicious : THE..

-

Chimini : yall i fr fr thing suga was bout drunk ass hell

Chimini : he wouldnt do this mess sober

Chimini : thisa wild

. kook . : ion think so

. kook . : his voice faltered in the middle of screaming "this is for jimin"

. kook . : which means he was nervous or sum ion kno

. kook . : he never nervous when he drunk

. kook . : trust me he was sober

Chimini : oh shit ok ok!

Chimini : u gon be one of them brain archeologist or sum?

. kook . : fuck you mean a brain archeologist

. kook . : i wanna be a psychologist

Chimini : yeah thas wot i meant

Taelicious : i cant believer jungkook just invented psychologist only legends

. kook . : the

seokkjin : my baby gon to school !

. kook . : how many times i gotta tell you

Taelicious : stop puttin my dick in the dishwasher

. kook . : thas not even close to what i was gon say

. kook . : how many times i gotta tell you that you aint my momma is wot i was gon say

seokkjin : SHUT YA FACE

seokkjin : IM YA MOMMA

-

Chapter Text

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS = Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

Chimini: yal l

Chimini: yall ever watch big time rush

Taelicious: you mean the show that had amazing music and stellar acting?

Chimini: thasa reach but ok

Chimini: im bopping to boyfriend

Chimini: im fcrying suga this is for you

= Spicydick = : cant u see all i wanna be is ya boyfrien

K N J : your b b b b oyfrien

seokkjin: all i rly wanna be is ya boyfrien

. kook . : h e a d a s s e s

suga : i aint never heard of that song but those lyrics are trash

Chimini: BTICH

Chimini: LOOK UP THE VIDEO YA LIFE WILL BE CHANGED

-

suga: LOOKIN FOR A BOYFRIEND I SEE THAT GIMME TIME YOU KNOW IM GONNA BE THAT

Chimini: AYY

= Spicydick = : that song is a straight up banger

Chimini: fax only

-

Taelicious : o m g

Taelicious : im taking a shit at jungkooks house and he got so many rolls

Taelicious : i feel so safe

Taelicious : no matter how much i shit im gon be ok

Taelicious : why am i cryin

K N J : mans.....

K N J : you wack

. kook . : namjoon aint u the one that fed ya dog a grape fully knowin dogs cant eat them

K N J : b-but i aint had no more food for him

. kook . : u kno wot

. kook . : ih my god

. kook . : a big ass spider just emerged from underneaht the coutch

. kook . : maN fu CK THAT IM LEAVIJ

Taelicious : JUNGKOOK NO IM STILL POOPIN

Taelicious : WOT IF SHE COMES IN HERE

K N J : she?

Taelicious : YES

. kook . : btich kill it wit that cologne namjoon wears he left it in the bafroom

K N J : thas cold

K N J : and wastefull i need that bac

seokkjin: namjoon ima be 100.9846% honest wit you when i say you smell like if tae shat on his moldy avocado

seokkjin: who made that nasty smellin as cologne anyway i jus wanna talk :-)

K N J : it made from durians and di maker is some dude named " 1$ colognes " i got it off ebay

seokkjin: why am i dating this man

. kook . : WAIT

. kook . : I HEAR SCREAMING TAEHYUNG DID U KILL IT

Taelicious : IT ONLY MADE HER STRONGER

Taelicious : SHE MULTIPLIED

Chimini: thas bout impossible a f

Taelicious : WAYAMINTUE

Taelicious : YALL SHE AINT MULTIPLIED SHE HAD BABYS

. kook . : oh nah not in my house

. kook . : tae call a damn experimenter

Taelicious : wot typa experiments they gon do on her tho

K N J : EXPERIMENTER

K N J : THE

. kook . : I MEAN EXTERMINATOR

. kook . : MA N YALL KNO WOT I SAID STOP CLOWINING M E

Taelicious : THEY GON KILL HER THO

. kook . : ION CARE I WANT HER OUT MY HOUSE

Taelicious : BU T

. kook . : IF YOU DONT CALL THEM IMA BEAT YA ASS

Taelicious : SHIT ALRIGHT

-

Chapter Text

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS = Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

seokkjin : well

seokkjin : i fucked up big time guys

K N J: what happened

seokkjin : so i was having a normal conversation wit my mom u kno and then she says " hey where were you at our christmas party the whole night? your aunt said she saw you going near the front door after you had told her you were going to the restroom" and i go " u h m aint she got dementia ? how she remember that bu not where she left her child that one time"
and she goes " what ever we arent talking about her were talking about you , now where were you and dont you dare lie to me " so im thinkin in my head 'do i lie to this trick and get why ass whooped when she finds out my ass was lying later on or jus tell ha and hope for the best ' and ofc i go ' jus tell ya momma man she still gon love u' so i tell her " i was wit.... n am joon" and she get this stank face right " namjoon? the boy that was texting you provocative things? seokjin i thought i told you to stop talking to him!" and my dumb ass goes" momma .... he my boyfrien tho" and i- i rly wanna slap my self wit this one bc neva in my life did i imagine that my coming out would end wit the words "tho"

seokkjin : this shit only lets me type that many words at once so heres PT2 the sequal

. kook . : oh shti jin i think we kno whats gon happen

= Spicydick =: yeah are you ok?

Chimini : wait how yall already kno what happens

Chimini : i aint eva seen this movie before let the man finish

Taelicious: "the movie" oh lordt

seokkjin: anyway she goes on this rant abt "neva in my life have i heard of a child disrespecting their mother this badly! i cannot believe you seokjin how dare you ruin my life like this i refuse to let you stay in this house while you are poisoned with the devil!"

. kook . : damn... she rly said all that?

Taelicious: she sounds like a bitch on wheels

Chimini : why ya momma sound like dem pastors at my church... "poisoned wit the devil" mans get ya momma outa here wot drama classes she takin

K N J : JIN

K N J : WHAT THE

K N J: WHY ARE YOU SO CALM BTICH

K N J : I M LITERALLY HAVING A STROKE

K N J : DID SHE KICK OYU OUT

K N J : FU CK

K N J : JIN

seokkjin : yeah lma o

K N J : IM

K N J : FUC K IM SERIOUS HOW ARE YOU SO CALM

seokkjin : i aint neva learn how to process emotion b

Taelicious: o h shit

Chimini : this jus got too real

. kook . : yo... you welcome to stay at my crib its aight u kno

seokkjin : u kno i rly was gon ask but u jus called ya house a crib and it reminded me how much of a baby headass you are

. kook . : choke on a sock

K N J : JIN STAY AT MY HOUSE

K N J : MY MOMMA LOVE YOU

K N J : altho when you said ha rice was dry? ooh lord how she went off " he aint kno shit abt dry rice " " cant even wipe his ass yet and he tellin me how to cook get ya mans outa here"

seokkjin : UHFUIFSDIUFD

seokkjin : WAIT SO I CAN FR FR STAY AT YA HOUSE?

K N J : BITCH YES

K N J : IM CRYNG I GET TO SEE YOU EVERYDAY

seokkjin : MORNING KISSES BITCH

K N J : MORNIGN KISSES

K N J : I HOPE YALL KNO IM FULL ON SOBBIN

. kook . : yall nasty

seokkjin : ... lil boy how we nasty

Chimini : i agree wit jungkook ..that mornin kisses ting

Chimini : yall moufs gon be stinkin and shit

Chimini : watch jin text us "i love namjoon so much <3 his kisses taste like the morning<333"

Chimini : and we jus gon be like " the mornin?? bitch you mean morning breath??"

seokkjin : yall needa leave our headass selves alone in 2017

seokkjin : speakin of which it already turned to 2017 bout 20 mins ago

. kook . : OH SHT YOURIGHT

. kook . : TAEHYUNG I LOVE YOU

Taelicious: I LOVE YOU TOO BB

Chimini: SUGA I LOVE YOU

suga : *yoongi

Taelicious: oh.. my guh

seokkjin : oh shtu

K N J : yo....

= Spicydick = : suga did that

Chimini: yoongi i love you

suga : i love you too

. kook . : T H E N E W H E A D A S S C O U P L E 2 0 1 7 E D I T I O N

suga : i hope jungkook stops being a bitch in 2017

. kook . : WOT YOU JUS CALL ME ?

Chimini: i fink my mans said a

Chimini: BITHC

. kook . : aw naw yall tag teaming?

. kook . : fuck tat

. kook . : TAEHYUNG

. kook . : LES FLAME THESE TWO

Taelicious: no sir! i will do nothin of the sort ! in fact i will sit my ass down and watch this embarrassment unfold right in front of my eyes while chewin on some vegan kale chips

Chimini: how u feel now jungkook

suga : ya man left you for some vegan kale chips

. kook . : thas fucekd

. kook . : i bought those for him and now they destroyin my relationship

Taelicious: is not that deep but ok

. kook . : anyway back to the flame

. kook . : *taps on mic* *clears throat* yall funny, yall comical , yall make me lauf out my nostrtitells

Chimini: this already trash

suga : " nostrtitells " the

. kook . : yall some headass, reppin lil bitch lite, thas wot yall drink when yall tryna fly a kite

Chimini: i already dont kno wot he talkin bout wbu bb

suga : aint got the slightest clue

. kook . : MAN

. kook . : ERYTIME IM FEELIN MY SELF YALL JUS GOTTA COME AND BRING ME DOWN

Chimini: son... issa roast

suga : fr is not that serious

. kook . : MAN I KNO

. kook . : feelings still hurt tho

. kook . : OH THAT RHYMED

. kook . : I AM A LYRICAL GENIOUS

Chimini: the

-

Chapter Text

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS = Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

seokkjin: yall im cryin di first day of me livin wit namjoon has been so goOD

seokkjin: we ate cereal and watched tv and went to the zoo and i almost fought his momma

Taelicious: 0 to 100

. kook . : how did u almost fight namjoons momma tho

seokkjin: i was tryna tell ha that if she could ya kno... actually season the chicken

seokkjin: shit taste like water on steroids

K N J: HUEFHH

K N J: ITS NOT THAT BAD U EXAGARATIN

seokkjin: anyway

seokkjin: i told ha that and she stared shouting at me so i went " what bitch! come ova here so i can teach u how to cook " and then ha ass started swinging

seokkjin: i was bouta fight back but namjoon and his dad pulled us away from each other

K N J: im still cackling

Taelicious: she gon throw ya ass out

seokkjin: nah is aight she loves me

seokkjin: anyway how was yalls day

. kook . : me and tae watched movies all day ion kno bout yoongi and jimin

Chimini : we went to pinches tacos for some food and yoongi fell asleep while eating his beans

Chimini: yoongi you been sleepy as hell recently you good?

suga: yeah

suga: i just started taking anti depressants and they make me really sleepy im sorry

Chimini: B

Chimini: IS AAIGHT

Chimini: GO BAC TO SCHLEEP IM SORRY

Taelicious: wait jimin

Taelicious: did u snap pics of suga wit his face in di beans

Chimini: :-)

suga: DELETE

Chimini: :-0

. kook . : yall les stay up all night

K N J: i can literally hear yoongi saying " oh honey not my gay ass " in his head the

Chimini: HFDJDJ

seokkjin: IM LAUFINF J

. kook . : MAN

. kook . : YALL BOUT WEAK AF

Taelicious: if we weak u wack

Taelicious: who gon stay up ? who ? not us

Taelicious: in fack lemme take my ass to bed rn

. kook . : BITCH

-
Yoongi chat -

Chimini: yoongi

Chimini: you sleep ?

suga: no

Chimini: are u ok?

suga: i dont know

suga: i feel like im gonna throw up

Chimini: GO THROW U P

Chimini: DID YOU EAT SOMETHIGN B AD

Chimini: WAS IT THE BEANS

Chimini: I KNEW THEY WERE FROM A CAN

Jimin paused and thought back to when they were at the taco place. ' did he even eat? ' 'i dont even think i saw him pick up a taco the whole time.. how am i just noticing tho?'. As soon as he was about to type out another message, his phone dinged

Suga: ii dint eat

suga: im sirry

suga: fuck my head hurts

Jimin was worried .. fuck was he worried. As he was trying to think of what could be the cause of what yoongi was going through when he realized something. ' sleepiness, nausea, and headaches' Jimins eyes widened

Chimini : yoongi... how many anti depressants did you take?

- Read 8:55 pm

Chimini: yoongi

- Read 8:59 pm

Suga: i dont know

suga: ims oyy

suga: its hard to type im shakign

Chimini: fufkc

Chimini: fuck yoongi hold on

Chimini: is your dad home

suga: np

suga: no

Chimini: im coming

Chimini: put on a sweater its cold

suga: you ont jave a car

Chimini: im walking

Chimini: it wont take me long

suga: where are we goig

Chimini: the hospital

suga : whhy

Chimini: yoongi

Chimini: you overdosed

-

Chapter Text

-

 

Jimin was breathing heavily "you're gonna be ok" he kept on repeating. "Jimin youve been saying that for the past 10 mins im fine" Yoongi said, although Jimin didnt completely hear him
his focus was on getting Yoongi to a hospital.

" Jimin put me down im ok " Yoongi was glad Jimin cared about him so much that he wasted no time grabbing Yoongi and running to an emergency room but this was
getting on his nerves, he was fine he knew it. It looked liked Jimin was about to snap, his eye twitched and his running slowed down. " Yoongi " Jimin ushered out between heavy breaths
" please-" he stopped his sentence and Yoongi saw his eyes water " please dont lie to me" he choked out.

Jimin put him down gently and sat down on the concrete, putting his head in between his knees, his hard breathing still audible, after a while the breathing stopped and he thought Jimin was gonna ask if he wanted to go back home but instead Yoongi saw his shoulders shake and heard him sniffling. Jimin looked up at him and then Yoongi saw how bad he looked.

His face was contorted as if he were in pain, his cheeks were a dark pink due to him running for so long. His lips wobbled and Yoongi knew what was coming next." Yoongi " Jimin wailed and Yoongi cursed in his head as he quickly crouched down to hug Jimin.

" Yoongi dont leave me please " Jimin had his head in Yoongi's chest and was shaking more with every word, " Im sorry " Yoongi responded back and just like that Jimin's eyes snapped open, he pushed Yoongi away and looked at him with wide eyes " no " he mumbled " don't be sorry " he looked like he was realizing something and for a couple seconds we just stood there in the middle of the road

unafraid of what could have happened to us but very afraid of what we were doing to our selves.

-

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS = Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

K N J : yo where jimin and yoongi @

. kook . : yall fuckin ?

Taelicious : yall smashin in di bafroom? lemme come im bored as hell in di bio class

seokkjin : yall got some low ass standards for them if u think they jos gon do it ina bafroom

seokkjin : they clearly breaking they ankles in the supply closet

= Spicydick = : yall wack

. kook . : lmao anyway fr where they @

Chimini : aint today saturday

Taelicious : the

K N J : momma issa whole wednesday wyd

. kook . : mans deadass got no concept of time

Chimini : dang :/ lmao im at home

Taelicious : fuck is wit that two dotted simple ass emoji

= Spicydick = : wheres yoongi then?

Chimini : oh ion know sorry

Chimini : um im gonna go back to sleep bye

. kook . : aight...

. kook . : anyone else think that was weird as hell

Taelicious : bitch i do

K N J : ya me too

= Spicydick = : wym? he seem fine to me

seokkjin : thas bc ya ass neva in di gc

K N J : fr

K N J : like wot u be doin

= Spicydick = : :-)

= Spicydick = : i aint tell yall yet?

. kook . : tell us wot

= Spicydick = : i gotta whole girlfriend

seokkjin : BITCH WHAT

. kook . : UM

. kook . : 2+2= CRAWFISH??? AINT U GAY

K N J : BITHDH WO T

Taelicious : WAYMENT

= Spicydick = : im pansexual dh hjd

Taelicious : oh hstu

seokkjin : O

seokkjin : THAT EXPLAINS IT AIGHT

seokkjin : WOT SHE LIKE

= Spicydick = : yesterday we were walking home and she saw a stray dog and she told me how she was gonna get some adoption papers and trick the dog into signing it by making him think they were restraining order papers

= Spicydick = : she was hella confident like she was rly gon do it until i told ha " bby.... dogs aint kow tha difference..or got thumbs...you bout dumb"

Taelicious : SHFDHSDSJ

. kook . : THE

seokkjin : Y A GF WACK LLMAOIJD

K N J : WOT TYPA HEADASS PLAN

-

Chapter Text

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS = Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

Chimini : FUC K

Chimini : IM CRIYNG

Chimini : HES OK

Chimini : YOONGIS FINE YALL

. kook . : x+y=2? im not following

Taelicious : ya me too

K N J : thas jos bc u failing algebra tae

K N J : anyway wym yoongi's fine did sum happen to him ?

Chimini : shit i aint eva told yall

seokkjin : so u gon tell us or

= Spicydick = : if u dont tell us we jus gon assume yall was fuckin

seokkjin : ^^^^^

-

Chimini : yoongi said he fell

. kook . : so he fell and u wos all in his ass cryin bc hes ok now?

. kook . : this dont add up

K N J : ya it jus dont seem realistic

Taelicious : ion kno.. it seem a lil realistic

= Spicydick = : im wit tae

. kook . : eat my entire ass btich boy

. kook . : anyway

. kook . : jin wot u fink

seokkjin : shint

seokkjin : im torn

seokkjin : maybe yoongi fell rly hard? and it hurt or some shit?? but also if that happened to any of yall i'd be laughin not cryin

K N J : i said this already and ima say it one more time

K N J : ISSA JUS NOT REALISTIC

K N J : IVE SEEN THAT MAN FALL ON DI DESK WHILE SLEEPING

K N J : HE AINT EVEN WAKE UP

K N J : THAT SHIT SOUNDED LIKE IT HURTED TOO

Taelicious : jin

Taelicious : forget them bums

Taelicious : side wit me and hobi

. kook . : fucka hobi

. kook . : side wit me and ya mans

seokkjin : *sweats*

seokkjin : dang all my fingers jos broke how unfortunate cant respond now

= Spicydick = : headass

-

suga : yo

Taelicious : AY

Taelicious : JUS IN TIME

Taelicious : I WAS BOUTA ASK IF YALL WANTED TO GRAB SOME FOOD

seokkjin : ya les go

K N J : wot place

= Spicydick = : where ever we go im all set

= Spicydick = : i got me a bottle of valentina

. kook . : a mans gotta be prepared

. kook . : i respeck that

suga: ion think i can go

K N J : y

suga: my doctor said so

. kook . : ya doctor?

. kook . : a fall was that serious ?

seokkjin :i dont see how u fallin gotta do wit u not eatin but ok

Chimini : by doctor he meant me

Chimini : we trying that tin g jungkook and tae did

Chimini : the roleplayin shit

= Spicydick = : what di hell

K N J : say it wit me now yall

K N J : w

K N J : a

K N J : c

K N J : k

seokkjin : yall nasty

Taelicious : do car sales man next

Chimini : a-aight

Chimini : anyway me and yoongi bouta eat some spaghetitty so

Chimini : go ahead witout us :::)))

Taelicious : aight

= Spicydick = : we'll save some food for yall

. kook . : who's we im eatin everything on my plate

= Spicydick = : i'll save some food for yall

-

Chapter Text

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS = Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

Taelicious : YO

Taelicious : WOT IF WE HAD ROBOT DICKS

seokkjin : like transformer dicks or sum?

. kook . : wouldnt that be awkward

. kook . : like ... issa metal

Chimini : and are the dicks superheros? do they do that whole "autobots assemble!" shit?

Chimini : bc then my dick would assemble to otha ppls dicks

Chimini : id be dragged

Chimini : wayaminute if we got robo dicks then we can un attache it?

K N J : i mean these are hyphotetical dicks so u can imagin anything

Taelicious : not hypotittycle no more son!

Taelicious : ima invent robo dicks

Taelicious : wait

Taelicious : shint

= Spicydick = : how we gon have bbys

= Spicydick = : no sperm

= Spicydick = : bc issa robot

Taelicious : i jos realized the flaws in my grand plan to invent interchangeable robot dicks

. kook . : OH

kook . : JUST KEEP LIKE A LITTLE BATTERY SIZED THING OF NUT IN THE DICK

Chimini : YO FR

Chimini : AND HAVE THERE BE SETTINGS

Chimini : AND BUTTONS

Chimini : LIKE ONE SAYS "intercourse mode" aND ANOTHA SAYS "relax mode" AND " jacking it mode"

Taelicious : O H MY GUH YALL RIGHT

kook . : YO ARE WE DOING THIS? LIKE FR?

Chimini : TAE PLEASE

Chimini : LETS DO IT

K N J : HOLD ON

K N J : where yall gonna get nut from

seokkjin : um you make the person that wants a robot dick sign a contract that states "if anything goes wrong you cant sue us now we're gonna drain ya sack of every inch of nut it has"
then we store the nut (we gon need alot about 2 industrial sized buckets of it bc who dont wanna fuck someone with a robot dick) and then we build the dick jus how they want it and

seokkjin : put capsules of they nut in the dick, each refillable is free for 2 years and then they have to start payin 4.99 for 2 capsules

K N J : jin how in the hell did you think of that

= Spicydick = : yall weird as fuck

= Spicydick = : but jins plan is full proof

Chimini : how we gonna get the parts tho?

kook . : RICO

Taelicious : huh?

K N J : wot

Chimini : rico from hannah montana?

kook . : NO RICO FROM DI ROBOTICS CLUB

kook . : THAT LIL BOY DESPERATE FOR FRIENDS

kook . : SO

kook . : U KNO WOT THAT MEANS

Chimini : we kidnap him and threaten to kill all of his immediate family if he doesnt give us all the parts we need for our plan

Taelicious : aight ill get my shovel ready

kook . : yall crazy ass hell

kook . : anyway wot i wos gonna say was

kook . : we befriend him and after a few weeks we'll ask him for some parts and if he says no then... we do jimins plan ig

= Spicydick = : aw man don do that rico a nice kid, he gave me his soda when he saw i was sweating after dance club

= Spicydick = : ofc i aint drink that shit

= Spicydick = : but it was still a nice gesture

= Spicydick = : les call this off

Taelicious : hell no i want a robot dick

Chimini : and i want money

kook . : and i do whatever tae tells me to do

K N J : this shit feels like im on a tv show or sum

K N J : yall goofy ass hell

seokkjin : you seriously gon call that "goofy" namjoon? did u even read wot i read?

seokkjin : they was rly out here bouta kill a childs whole family so that they could start they company of robot dicks

= Spicydick = : u kno when u word it like that this shit does sound goofy

seokkjin : it sound wack

suga : issa lil goofy

Chimini : YOONGI

Chimini : FUCK YOU DOIN UP

suga : its 1 pm

Chimini : i said wot i said

suga : anyway

Taelicious : yoongi u wonna join us

Taelicious : we gonna build a company that sells robot dicks

suga : am i having a seizure or did i read that right

K N J : u read that right

K N J : so u in?

suga: u kno wot ima jos go back to sleep its to early to deal with yall

seokkjin : but its 1 pm

suga: i said wot i said

-

Chapter Text

-

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS = Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

seokkjin : alright yall

seokkjin : our annually drinking party

seokkjin : whos gon be sober

Chimini : wayment drinking party?

Chimini : jin we whole toddlers

Chimini : how we gon drink

seokkjin : dont worry abt that i always got yall covered

seokkjin : di rules are

seokkjin : 1. all but one person will get drunk, we will go into separate rooms, we will text in this chat, the sober person collects all the dumb shit we said for reviewing , who eva says the dumbest mess gotta go to school with they dick out

Chimini : HFUJDI

Taelicious : HFJDUEIJ

Taelicious : IS THIS WHY JUNGKOOK CAME TO SCHOOL THAT ONE TIME WEARIN NO UDERWEAR

Taelicious : BITHC I WAS SO HARD THAT DAY

Taelicious : WE HAD A WHOLE GYM CLASS I HAD TO GO TO ONE OF EEM LIL STALLS TO RELIEVE MY DAMN SELF

Chimini : how does jungkook even drink when he's 2

seokkjin : we tell him we put alcohol in his fruit juice and he believes us so di whole time he be doing stupid shit while sober

Chimini : THE

seokkjin : anyway we still gotta pick di sober person

seokkjin : it was me last year so one of yall needa be it this year

Chimini : not me and tae this our first time

= Spicydick = : it cant be namjoon eitha man gets drunk in -2 secs he be sayin the funniest mess

seokkjin : shit u right

seokkjin : and it cant be kook even tho he technically been sober these pasts times

seokkjin : he say funny shit too

Taelicious : what bout yoongi

Chimini : i heard my mans name

Chimini : fuck yall wont

seokkjin : ion kno if i want him to be sober tho

seokkjin : he been lookin a lil stressed he need some alcohol in him

Chimini : NAH

Chimini : HE DON NEED ALL THAT

Chimini : LET HIS ASS BE SOBER

seokkjin : but he be lookin stressed

Chimini : u gon let him be sober

Chimini : no more questions

seokkjin : you akkin hella suspicious bithc why u want him to be sober

Chimini : i jos lost all my fingers so i cant answer that question

seokkjin : the

. kook . : WHAT

. kook . : ARE YALL SERIOSU

. kook . : yALL RLY BEEN LYING TO ME ABT PUTTING ALCOHOL IN MY JUICE

. kook . : I FUCKUEH HATE YALL

. kook . : JIN IF YOU DONT PUT SOME SHIT IN MY DRINK THIS YEAR IM BEATING YA ASS UP

seokkjin : you wont do shit bitch boy

. kook . : bet

seokkjin : aight i bet 20$ and ya supreme underwear that you wont do shit

. kook . : the one with to hole in it?

seokkjin : neva mind i dont want it no more

. kook . : u kno what

. kook . : keep ya bet

. kook . : ima make sure theres alcohol in it bc IM BRINING MY OWN DRINK THIS YEAR

seokkjin : and where exactly are you gon buy this alleged drink of yours

. kook . : i be knowing people

seokkjin : if your talking abt marco he's lying all he sells is mexican candy not weed or beer

. kook . : ....

. kook . : damn fr?

. kook . : well

. kook . : thas still not gon affect my plan

. kook . : ima find away to get me some damn drinks

seokkjin : anyways

seokkjin : jimin

seokkjin : tae

Chimini : howdy

Taelicious : yes

seokkjin : the party this saturday

Chimini : aight

Taelicious : aight

seokkjin : if you not there ima kick yall out this chat

Chimini : btihc

Chimini : wot typa escalation

Taelicious : not even an escalation

Taelicious : that was a whole translation.. a whole rotation, a whole gratification bitch

seokkjin : we cant have fakes in this chat

Taelicious : hoseok talks 4% of the time yet he still reads out messages

Taelicious : who u callin fake

= Spicydick = : you aint needa too all det

Taelicious : yet i did

= Spicydick = : b-but

= Spicydick = : u aint needa do all det tho

Chimini : issa true tho

= Spicydick = : listen headass twins

= Spicydick = : i got all ap classes

= Spicydick = : im doin the 3rd page of my 6 page calculus hw rn this shit is due tomotow

= Spicydick = : im always doin mess thas why ion get on here

= Spicydick = : i dont even remember the times i do get on this chat tbh

= Spicydick = : i get so much hw i blackout every 20 mins from the stress

= Spicydick = : so say some again

Chimini : daMN HOSEOK ISSA NOT THAT SERIOUS

Taelicious : YA ISSA JOKE JRJKD

Chimini : jin help us out

seokkjin : thas wot yall get i aint helpin nun

Taelicious : C O L D

Chimini : AY DIOS MIO SON LAS DOCE

seokkjin : did this man just speak spanish in the middle of korea

Taelicious : he said its 12

seokkjin : why that matter

seokkjin : aint yall go to sleep at like 3 am anyways

= Spicydick = : thats my ass

Chimini : bitch it take me bout 20 mins jus to feel a lil tired

Chimini : ima end up sleeping at 1 i hate myself

Taelicious : im di complete opposite

Taelicious : i roll over and my ass is knocked tf out

seokkjin : it take me like 10 mins to sleep so cant relate to etha of yall

Chimini : wot eva i gotta go to schleep gn yalldt

Taelicious : ssleep tight dont fuck a bug

seokkjin : taehyung has been cancelled

seokkjin : gn
-

Chapter Text

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS = Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

 

K N J : yo

K N J : jin

K N J : we should get married

seokkjin: i wos tinking the same thing

K N J : no i mean like fr

K N J : les do it

seokkjin: have u or have u not met my momma

K N J : SHE AINT GOTTA KNO

seokkjin: FHUFHF

seokkjin: FINE

seokkjin: WHEN SHOULD WE GET MARRIED

K N J : idk tomorrow?? how long do these things take

seokkjin: shint ion kno

seokkjin: tomorrow it is tho

Chimini : so yall deadass gon get married

Taelicious : jimin do u or do u not have eyes

Chimini : yo deadass suck my dick

Chimini : i jos wanted conformation

. kook . : how yall gon get married when we live in a whole korea

K N J : idk ill ask my momma to take us to the u.s or sum

seokkjin: i just got a headache thinking of what im gon say to my momma

Taelicious : what state yall gon get married @

seokkjin: LES DO IT IN LAS VEGAS

seokkjin: THATS WHERE ALL DI ICONIC MARRIAGES HAPPEN

. kook . : nah yo

. kook . : yall gotta get married in new york

. kook . : with them new yorkian ppl

K N J : the whos

Taelicious : the whats

Chimini : the wheres

seokkjin: wot he say

K N J : what di hell is a new yorkian

Chimini : i fink its a type of dog or sum

Taelicious : nah prolly some new dinosaur species or some shit

. kook . : yall bout dumb

. kook . : new yorkians are what u call people from new york

seokkjin: sir

seokkjin: i jos wonna kno who taught you this

seokkjin: bc i kno damn well me, (ya momma) did not teach u this mess

. kook . : di internet

Chimini : young man

Chimini : young sir

Chimini : the internet say people from new york are called new yorkers

. kook . : o H

. kook . : listen issa not my fault i said new yorkian im high rn

K N J : high...

K N J : u up in the clouds or sum bc thas the only high you should be knowin

seokkjin: did i read that right

seokkjin: does that say jungkook is smoking weed

. kook . : na b it says i BEEN smokin weed...for like di past 2 hours

seokkjin: where you at

. kook . : why u wonna kno

seokkjin: i jos wonna have a talk :)

. kook . : for why tho..

Taelicious : pawpa just turn on ya damn location

. kook . : PERO WHY THO

K N J : IMA GIVE YOU 5 SECONDS

K N J : 1

K N J : 2:

seokkjin: 5

seokkjin: whats the address

Chimini : fhufj

Chimini : im scared for jungkook

. kook . : i aint givin yall nun

K N J : jimin

K N J : taehyung

K N J : check your find my friends and see if you got jungkook on there

Chimini : i dont

Taelicious : i do!

. kook . : t ae

seokkjin: great

Taelicious : lemme just copy and paste it onto here

. kook . : taE YOU BETTA NOT

seokkjin: amazing

Taelicious : 1593 wallislick dr

seokkjin: thank you :::)))

. kook . : oh my god

Chimini : yo omg

Chimini : tae how u gon do ya mans like that

. kook . : oh my gof

. kook . : im dying today

. kook . : im gon die

. kook . : jin gon beat my ass into next year

K N J : wrong

. kook . : HE AINT?

. kook . : THANK GOF

. kook . : THANK YOU ALLAH

K N J : WE gon beat ya ass into next year

Taelicious : FUHUD

Taelicious : HE PLAYED YA ASS

. kook . : FOC K

. kook . : IM SORRY

. kook . : WUSSA WEED ANYWAY?

. kook . : I AINT NEVA HEARD OF THAT

. kook . : IS THAT A FRUIT

. kook . : ????

Chimini : don even start ya ass dead

Taelicious : ^^^^^

K N J : wayaminute

K N J : aint 1593 wallislick dr hoseoks address?

Chimini :......

Taelicious : yo

Taelicious : it is

= Spicydick =: h ey yall wos goin on i jos woke up i wosnt smokin weed @ all wussa that ?

K N J : jin ill take hoseok you take jungkook

seokkjin: aight :)

seokkjin: prepare ya asses

seokkjin: bc we comin

= Spicydick =: fock

-

Chapter Text

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS = Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

Chimini : have yall seen yoongis bitch ass

Chimini : fool aint show up to algebra

K N J : nah b

Taelicious : jimin i fockin hate you my phone wosnt on vibrate and everybody in my art class heard my text tone

Taelicious: which is jus me saying "PUSSY" really loudly

Taelicious: o H NAH

Taelicious: JIMIN TELL ME I AINT GETTIN A DETENTION

Taelicious: FUC

Taelicious: MY TEACH JOS WROTE ME A DETENTION

Taelicious: JIMIN LEMME BEAT YA ASS FOR A SEC

seokkjin: MANS YOU DID THIS TO YA SELF

Chimini : deadass^^^

Taelicious: meet me in di restroom rn

Taelicious: im fr fr abt to clock u upside di head

Chimini : aight i gotta take a shit anyways

-

Chimini : wait tae which bafroom

Taelicious: idk the farthest one

Taelicious: so di senior one

Chimini : aight

-

Taelicious: oh my god

Taelicious: THIS AINT HAPPENING

Taelicious: YO WTF

Taelicious: THIS FR CANT BE HAPPENING

Taelicious: WHY WAS YOONGI IN DI BATHROOM KISSIN OVER SOME GUY

Taelicious: YO IM DEADASS BOUTA FICKGJJF

Taelicious: BTICH IM SO MAD

Taelicious: JIMIN MAD TOO

Taelicious: HE SNIFFLIN ANGRILY THIS MANS IS CRYING

K N J : YOO

K N J : FR?

K N J : YOONGI GOT HOES LIKE THAT?

. kook . : as a matta of fack

. kook . : he do

seokkjin: jungkook las time i checked you wasnt taehyung or yoongi so how u kno

. kook . : bc I am that bitch that set him up with that guy

seokkjin: BITCH WHAT THE FUCK

seokkjin: FOR WHY THO

seokkjin: I THOT U LIKED YOONGI AND JIMIN BEIN TOGETHER

. kook . : i do

. kook . : but heres the gag

. kook . : THEY AINT TOGHETER

. kook . : JIMIN AINT ASK HIM TO BE THE MEXICAN RICE TO HIS BEANS YET

K N J : the wot

. kook . : hIS BOYFRIEND

. kook . : JIMIN AINT ASK YOONGI TO BE HIS BF SO YOONGI TOLD ME HOW HE JOS WANTED JIMIN TO LOVE HIS ASS BAC AND I PROCEEDED TO BE A GOOD FRIEN AND HOOK HIM UP WIT SOME DUDE

K N J : you kno i love ya lil baby headass and u like a brother to me but sometimes you stupid as fuck

seokkjin: ^ DEADASS

seokkjin: YEA SURE, JIMIN AINT ASK YOONGI TO BE THE HOT CHEETO PUFFS TO HIS DIARRHEA BUT! YOONGI AINT ASK JIMIN EITHER

K N J : the what to the who

seokkjin: HIS BOYYFRIEND

Chimini : so jungkook

Chimini : what im getin from this is

Chimini : you fucked everythin up ?

Chimini : :)

. kook . : y-yea

Chimini : im gonna destroy your playstation and all ya games good bye

. kook . : lmao

. kook . : stop playin

Chimini : whos playin :)

. kook . : ...

. kook . : :)) jimiN

. kook . : STOP FUCKIN PLAYIN

Chimini : ill send a video later toodles bicth

. kook . : JMINCC

Taelicious: THAS WOT U FOCKIN GE T

Taelicious: THAS SO FUCKED

Taelicious: YOU KNEW DEY LIKED EACHOTHER SO FOR WHY DIDNT U JOS MAKE THEM TALK TO EACH OTHER AND FINALLY BECOME BOYFRIENDS

Taelicious: LIL DOO DOO HEADASS

. kook . : now that im thinkin bout it thassa much better plan

. kook . : foc k

. kook . : i ruined a budding relationship and jimins ruining my games

. kook . : ima g o die real quiq

-

Chimini : [sent a video]
- "hey bitch"
- " why you got a whole 250 games"
- " damn this shit organized by type too"
- " oh fockin well time to destroy this all"
*cut to jimin putting all the games and playstation into a box and draggin it outside*
- * jimin pulls out some damn scissors and a hammer*
- " i rly aint wanna do this but since u ruined my shit ima ruin yours"
- " damn this playstation pretty ass hell too all white n shit"
- *jimin speeds up the footage of him cuttin all the CDs*
- *jimin throws them in the trash*
- " now onto di fun part"
- *his ass brings out di hammer and as soon as he hits the paystation its gonna be me' plays in the background*
- "that concludes this shit"

K N J : FHJDFHDSSDH

K N J : THIS THE BEST SHIT I DONE EVA SEEN

Taelicious: OH MG IF

seokkjin: yO YOU WAS RLY SERIOUS

. kook . : OHJJYK GIFIJHKJI

. kook . : BTIJCHUDHU

. kook . : IM GONNA HAVE A STROKE

. kook . : MAN FUCK CLASS IM GOING OVER THERE RIGHT NOW TO BEAT YA ASS

Chimini : try it bitch boy

-

Chapter Text

-

Chat - suga

Chimini: i fucking hate you

Chimini: out of all the damn days to ruin what we have it has to be before valentines day

Chimini: you just had to kiss some damn dude

suga: i can kiss who i want we arent dating

-

Chimini: god

Chimini: shut the fuck up with that shit for once

Chimini: you whine about me not asking you to be my boyfriend

Chimini: why dont you do it

Chimini: stupid fuckgn pussy ass bicth

Chimini: how you gon go and kiss a whole minjun

Chimini: hES NOT EVEN ANYTHING FUDCKIGN SPECIAL FUCK IM SO MAD

Chimini: YOONGI I WANT TO BE YOUR BOYFRIEND

Chimini: I REALLY DO BUT FUCK MAN

Chimini: YOU KEEP ON GIVING ME REASONS ON WHY I SHOULDNT

suga: [Image #83893] (him and minjun cuddlin each other at di park)

Chimini: yoongi stop

Chimini: youve known him for like 5 seconds and youre already cuddling him

Chimini: im deadass crying rn i fucking hate you

Chimini: do you rly not like me

suga: no

-

Chimini: oh

-

Chimini: ok

-
-

Chimini: sorry

Chapter Text

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS = Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

- valentines day

seokkjin : namjoon where are u :(

-

seokkjin : BTIHC I SAID WHERE ARE YOU

seokkjin : YOU BETTA NOT BE CHEATIN ON ME WITH SOME BTCH I SWEAR TO GOD

seokkjin : NAMJOON PLE ASE IM BOUTA STARY BAWLIN IN MY ANATOMY CLASS

K N J : IM SRRY BABY I SLEPT THRU MY ALARM AND I GOT THIS BIG ASS BEAR TO HAUL AROUND IM IN DI BUILDING DONT WORRY

seokkjin : YOU GOT ME A BEAR

K N J :foc k

K N J : that wos supposed to be a surprise

-

seokkjin : DAMN BTICH THAS NOT A BEAR THAS A FOCKIN MONSTER BITHC

seokkjin : THAT SHIT BIG ASS HELL

seokkjin : MANS I JOS WONNA KNO HOW U CARRIED THIS UP THEM DAMN STAIRS

seokkjin : AND HOW IMA TAKE THIS SHIT HOME

seokkjin : i deadass told the teacher to shut di fock up jos so that i could take pics of my gifts and she lettin me

K N J : wos them kids jealous

seokkjin : mad jealous lmao

seokkjin : all the straight girls lookin at they lil heart shaped chocolate boxes and lookin at my buffet of chocolate and cryin djjdk

K N J : what did u get me

seokkjin : issa surprise :))

K N J :ok but just sayin u could get me a wet napkin and i'd cry

seokkjin : ily b

K N J : ily 2 b

-

Taelicious : YALL OH YM FJF

Taelicious : junGKOOK DID NOT BUY ME A WHOLE CAR AND FILLED IT WITH CHOCOLATES AND A COSCO BEAR

Taelicious : IM CRYING SO HARD

. kook . : i did what?

Taelicious : YOU DID THAT

Taelicious : YFUHFHF

Taelicious : WHY I JOS CAUGHT MARCO TRYNA STEAL DI CHOCOLATES

. kook . : I BOUGHT ONE WEED FROM HIM AND HE TRYNA ACK BRAVE

Taelicious : FHDUFHUHFIH

Taelicious : ONE WEED

Taelicious : A WHOLE WEED

Taelicious : BITCH YOU DELULU

. kook . : do u like ya gift?

Taelicious : i love it but i love u more <3

. kook . : my dick is hard but my heart is soft bb <3

Taelicious : you fockin ruin everything hvcj

-

= Spicydick = : marco trying it again?

= Spicydick = : ima need to tell my mans to step t f off

seokkjin : HOLD DI FOCK UP

seokkjin : YA MANS?

Taelicious : BTHVCJBH

. kook . : oh my gof

K N J : SINCE WHEN WAS YOU AND MARCO DATIN

= Spicydick = : since november fhjxjmk

K N J : U M

seokkjin : I STILL CANT PROCESS THIS

. kook . : A WHOLLE 4 MONTHS

. kook . : AND U NEVA THOUGHT TO TELL US

. kook . :BTHCJDHBUHIFJK

Taelicious : WHAT DID HE GET U

= Spicydick = : like 4 of di chocolate things that he stole from ya car, a shit ton of flowers, dick in the music room, a guitar and a bear

K N J : dick in the music room

K N J : the

seokkjin : i love that play <3

. kook . : FHUJD

. kook . : WAYMENT SO HE DEADASS STOLE DI SHIT I BOUGHT FOR TAE?

= Spicydick = : ya

. kook . : mind if i beat his ass for a sec

= Spicydick = : bih go for it he startin to be brave

= Spicydick = : yesterday we was walkin together and a girl bumped into me and the bitch aint even had time to breath before ha ass was on the ground bc this mf pushed her

= Spicydick = : and then his ass had the audacititty to say "are you alright baby?" as if the girl wasnt cryin on the floor

Taelicious : FHUDJIXK

Taelicious : I CHOKED

seokkjin : IM CRYIN A WHOLE LIL GIRL

. kook . : AIGHT ILL BEAT HIS ASS

-

K N J : yall where jimin and yoongi

= Spicydick = : prolly fockin in the supply closet

seokkjin : abt that

seokkjin : jungkook ruined they relationship so jimin prolly at home crying

seokkjin : and ion kno abt yoongis dumb ass

Taelicious : fuck

Taelicious : you right

Taelicious : i forgot abt jimin

Taelicious : hes prolly so sad

Taelicious : ima call him

-

-

Taelicious : BTICBH

Taelicious : WHAT THE FUKC

Taelicious : UM S MY ASS JOS GOT DONE CALLING HIMA ND YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAID?

Taelicious : HE SAID HE TEXTED YOONGI AND THAT YOONGI SAID HE WASNT HIS BF AND SHIT AND THAT

Taelicious : HE NEVA LIKED HIM AND GUESS FOCKGN WHAT

seokkjin : WHAT BITCH

Taelicious : YOONGI HAD SENT A PIC OF HIM CUDDLING NEXT TO MINJUN

K N J : oh my fuckin god

K N J : yo are you deadass buggin b

K N J : like you fr

K N J : a whole minjun

K N J : he so damn boring yoongi would never like someone like him

. kook . : d da mn tht sucks fo jimin

Taelicious : im so damn mad jungkook

Taelicious : this dont eem feel right

Taelicious : why should i be happy when jimin aint

Taelicious : ima go over to his house and then over to yoongis to fuckingf kill his ass

seokkjin : im comin with

-

Chapter Text

GC: di backup gc = Spicydick = , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

Chimini: hey yall

K N J : how r u

Taelicious: MY BB ARE U ALRIGHT WHERE DI FOCK IS YOONGI IMA RIP HIS DICK OFF

Chimini: i jos started crying again

Chimini: WHY YOU GOTTA MENTION HIS ASS

Chimini: why did i add jungkook when hes a fake ass bitch

. kook .: say dat one moh time you lil doo doo head

Chimini: YOU A FAKE ASS BITCH

. kook .: i cant eem retaliate bc its true :(

. kook .: listen jimin im sorry

. kook .: like truthfully

Chimini: this got two deep ion like it go back to clownin me

. kook .: nah cut the jokes for a sec b

. kook .: im stupid as shit sometimes i just think on impulse

. kook .: ive known yoongi for a long ass time so i always wanna be on his side

. kook .: im sorry

Chimini: im cryin again its ok jungkook

. kook .: ill talk to his ass and see whats up

seokkjin : WHERE THE FUCK YOONGI @

seokkjin : YOONGI IM COMIN FOR YA ASS

seokkjin : wayment this a whole new gc

seokkjin : wot in tarnation

-

JUNGKOOK

- suga chat

. kook .: yo

suga: hey

. kook .: where where you yesterday? you aint respond in the chat

suga: i lost my phone when i was with minjun

. kook .: right

. kook .: minjun

. kook .: listen i kno wot i had said abt the whole " jimin aint lickin ya nuts now so will he ever???" ting but

. kook .: hes sad

. kook .: like SO sad

. kook .: he aint even come home yesteday

. kook .: you gotta make tings right king

suga: b-but u said

. kook .: I KNO WOT I SAID

. kook .: BUT THE TING IS YOONGI

. kook .: YOUR ASS IS TOO SCARED TO ASK HIM OUT TOO!

. kook .: jimin wont ask u out bc hes insecure and you wont do it bc youre scared of rejection

. kook .: i want yall to be happy, jimin has showed how much he loves you yet everytime he does what do you say?

. kook .: "we aint datin" "i aint ya boyfriend"

. kook .: like damn king! give it a rest

. kook .: stop reminding him !

. kook .: ask him out already damn

. kook .: also make sure you hide from tae and jin they comin to beat ya ass for sendin that pic to jimin

suga: what pic

. kook .: SO NOW YOU WANNA ACT STUPID

. kook .: I SHOULD RLY BEAT UR ASS TOO

suga: BTIHC IM ASKIN WHAT PIC

suga: I DEADASS DONT KNOW

. kook .: the one with u cuddled up with the snake

. kook .: minjun

suga: ???????? for why would i cuddle with his stank ass

suga: mans needs some deodorant

. kook .: BITCH

. kook .: DONT EVEN LIE

suga: ISSA FACT

suga: MANS WTF U BE TALMBOUT ION KNO SHIT ABT A PIC

. kook .: THIS ONE [ image #493040]

suga: u m

suga: i dint take that

suga: look at the angle

suga: minjun was holdign the phone

suga: plus my eyes are closed

suga: i fell asleep bc he was so boring

suga: fuck ion even got a password to my phone

suga: you think he took it and sent it to jimin

. kook .: HOLD ON NOW

. kook .: HOLD ON THIS SHIT GOIN TOO FAST

. kook .: BITCH WE IN A MOVIE

. kook .: YO

. kook .: DIDNT YOU SAY YOU LOST YA PHONE

. kook .: HE PROBABLY SNATCHED IT AND SENT IT TO HIM

. kook .: CHECK YA CONVO WITH JIMIN

-

suga: YO HE DELETED IT

suga: BTICH WHAT THE FUCK

suga: TELL JIMIN TO SEND YOU THE CONVO

 

GC: di backup gc = Spicydick = , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

. kook . : jimIN SEND ME THE CONVO YOU AND MINJUN HAD

Chimini : DO U WANT ME TO START CRYIN AGAIN

. kook . : bithc pl s

Chimini : for y tho

. kook . : ITS UHH A SOCIAL EXPERIMENT NOW HURRY UP

Chimini : [IMAGE #93940]

 

- suga chat

 

. kook . :[IMAGE #93940]

suga: oh my god

suga: im gonna scream

suga: im gonna fucking beat minjuns ass so bad on monday

suga: idgaf if i get expelled i wonna see blood

suga: iM SO FUCKING MAD

suga: HE BETTA BE READY

. kook . : IMA RECORD THE WHOLE TING

. kook . : MY TWITTER MENTIONS GONNA BE WIDIND

-

Chapter Text

GC: ugly ass mfs = Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Taelicious

suga: todays the day lads

suga: the day i whoop minjuns ass

suga: FOH MAKIN MY BABY HATE MY ASS

suga: OOH BITCH IM GETTIN HEATED BITHC! IM BOUTA COME INTO THAT SCHOOL READY N SHIT

suga: BIHH THE SECOND I SEE HIS ASS IMA START SWINGIN

suga: MATTA A FACK IMA START TAZIN BC YES BITCH I DID BUY A TAZOR FUCK WITH ME

. kook .: BOY SHUT YA BUBBLE GUM DUMB DUMB LOOKIN ASS THE FUCK UP

. kook .: YOU KNO DAMN WELL YOU CANT TAZE NO BODY

suga: u H THE TAZOR IN MY BACKPACK SAYS OTHA WIZE NOW WHO GON HELP ME JUMP THIS FOOL?

Taelicious: count my ass out ion wanna get my ass handed to me

seokkjin: bitch im in!

. kook .: fhbbh grandpa sit ya ass down ... ol scoliosis headass...

seokkjin: OH? SO IS GON BE LIKE TAT??

seokkjin: AIGHT BET

seokkjin: YOONGI U GON HAVE TO FIGHT THAT TRICK BY YA SELF BC IMA BE BEAT JUNGKOOKS ASS TO NEXT YEAR

suga: ho seok

suga: pls i see yo readin these texts you fake ass lil bitch come and help my skinny ass

= Spicydick = : my 6 hours of homework giggled

= Spicydick = : you kno damn well i aint got the time to be fightin twinks

= Spicydick = : sorry b

suga: yo on god?

suga: DIE

suga: YALL FAKE

suga: NAMJOON

suga: LES GO

K N J : i-i

K N J : na h b you deadass buggin b

K N J : these legs was meant foh runnin away not stayin put and fightin

K N J : ill be there wit you but only for support and di occasional water break

K N J : and to record the whole fight

suga: shit bitch thats good enouf tf!!

-
12:30 PM Lunchroom

"FIGHT!"

"WHOOP THAT ASS!"

"minjun finna die"

"nah b suga finna di-BITCH IS THAT A TAZOR"

"BUZZZ BUZZ BITCH HOW YOU LIKE THAT FOCKIN TAZE BITCH HUH?"

"........."

"suga.. you might have gon a lil too far"

" fym? im just gettin started, hold my tazor * takes out rings* "

" BITCH. THIS. IS. HOW. MY. BABYS. HEART. FELT. WHEN . YA. ASS. SENT. THAT. PIC. "

"IM. FUCKIN. GLAD. I. NEVER. FUCKED. YA. STANK. ASS. MUSTY. ASS. BITCH. ASS. FUCKIN-"

"YOONGI WHAT THE HELL BITCH FUCKIN STOP"

"jiMIN"

"ji*couf couf*min"

*looks @ yoongi, look at minjun, looks at yoongi, looks at minjun*

" WHAT DID THIS MAN DO TO YOU THAT WAS SO BAD YOU HAD TO NEAR FUCKIN BODY HIS ASS?"

"he seNT THAT PIC OF US CUDDLIN TO YOU"

"....."

"bitch huh?"

"that was him?"

"YES"

*looks @ yoongi, look at minjun, looks at yoongi, looks at minjun*

*slowly pulls out phone n flips to di camera*

"you can keep goin btw"

*DI CHEERS THAT HAD STOPPED ARE BACK AGAIN* * AND BITCH... THEY LOUD*

* AMONG ALL OF THEM ONE STANDS OUT * " yo where tf is our damn principle like fhjfj how has this fool no got caught yet?"

-

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS = Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

Taelicious: NAMJOON DID YOU GET DI VIDEO ?

Taelicious: WAIT SHIT WRONG CHAT

Chimini : nah b

Chimini : CORRECT CHAT

K N J : i-ion have the video but ... jimin do

Taelicious: bitch huh?

seokkjin : bitch wot?

= Spicydick = : bitch que?

. kook . : bitch quelle?

Chimini :i got di video bc

Chimini : i caught yoongis ass fightin minjun

. kook . : ya bichth we got that far but HOW did you catch yoongi

Chimini : yall deadass askin me that ?

Chimini : bitch all i had to do was follow the damn "FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT" and "OH SHIT HES FUCKIN DEAD" comin from the lunch room??

Chimini : yall rly thot yall was slick hfffijk what typa headassery

seokkjin : damn cuh

seokkjin : he right!

-

Chapter Text

GC: ugly ass mfs = Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Taelicious

Taelicious: LADIES! THIS IS NOT A FOKCIN DRILL

Taelicious: BUT YOONGI IS STANDIN IN DI MIDDLE OF THIS DAMN PEP RALLY ABT TO CONFESS TO JIMIN

seokkjin: btihc

seokkjin: di pep rally was mandatory

seokkjin: we literally seein di same ting

Taelicious: i-i

-

. kook . : HUFDJFKF

. kook . : BITCH IT FINALLY HAPPENED IM SO HAPPY

. kook . : SHIT WAS AWKWARD ASS HELL THO

suga: my dude if you recap i swear im gon beat ya ass

. kook . : "uh jimin can you come down?"
jimins headass: "for why tho"
"i-im gon do someting for u pls come down here"
"shit aight"
"jimin...will you be my .. boo thang foh eva and eva?"
"bitch ya boo what?" "m-my boo than-MY BOYFRIEND"
"oh shIT HFJ YES BIH F"

suga: FUCKIN G DIEE

= Spicydick = :HFDFUJFJ IS THAT RLY WHAT HAPPENED? I SCREAMED YOONGI WOT IN SEXUAL RELATIONS R U DOIN

seokkjin: BOO THANG GJJFJKF

K N J: yoongi: yeah this is my boo thang :)
jimin: your whom's've'd'ed?

Taelicious: LMAOFDJDHJF

= Spicydick = : NMAJOFNFJNJ

suga: uhH FOCK YALL BTIHC

suga: FOCK YA FAT ASS HEAD JUNGKOOK

. kook . : BITCH MY HEAD AINT FAT

Taelicious: i mean...

seokkjin: lil boy you sure bout tat?

= Spicydick =: uh jungkook you invented fat ass heads

suga: PHAX

suga: TELL ME WHY I WAS IN ALGEBRA AND HEARD A GYAL SAY "i have jeon jungkooks # u kno :)" and hA FRIEN WENT " oooh text 'hey fat head' to him" "why would i-isnt it hey big head?" AND DI GORL SAID " shiit it would be a lie if we said that tho"

. kook . : SHUT THE FU KC UP THEY AINT SAY THAT

. kook . : I-I

Taelicious: :) yoongi who wore those gyals

Taelicious: im asking foh a friend

suga: it wos areum and hyorin

Taelicious: I FUCKIN HATE THEY ASSES ALREADY

Taelicious: PERFECT

Taelicious: bye lads im finna have some bitch stew tonight !!! yommy!!!

. kook . : TAE NO

. kook . : FOC YALL

. kook . : THASIT IVE SNAPPED

. kook . : LES HAVE A RAP BATTLE RN

. kook . : ALLAH YALL VS ME

= Spicydick = : noah fence but you cant rhyme foh shit boy

K N J: uh ya^^^

seokkjin: let di boy do his ting!!! jos as long as he doesn't flame my ass we good!

. kook . : im comin foh allah yall

. kook . : matta a fack

. kook . : you first jin

seokkjin: bitch i kno i did not jos wead that with my fuckin eyes

. kook . : jin.... moh like GIN, a couple a wackadoodledoos got yo head spinnin like a mad ting yuh yuh oh yuh

K N J: bitch boo

Taelicious: jungkook how you flames gon be this whack :((

seokkjin: uhhh i stifled my lauf

seokkjin: is that it??

seokkjin: r u done ??

seokkjin: here we go then

seokkjin: jungkook you a mad man you aint got no rhyme claim you dont have time but i see you runnin rine (t-that means around i jos needed it to rhyme ) oh yu throwbac to di old ages, the "lick di tip foh me" ages y-you... i dont got nothin else to say my rhymes wack too :((((

K N J: WHERE IS MY MANS RECORD DEAL???? BTIHC????

seokkjin: how dare you gass me up

Taelicious: namjoon you delulu

. kook . : :)

. kook . : less call di wap battle off :)

= Spicydick = : HUH

= Spicydick = : NOW YA ASS SAY THAT

= Spicydick = : ol pussy headash

. kook . : HOSEOK DIE

. kook . : MATTA A FACK AINT U GOT SOME DAMN GRITUITICHUCHI HW U GOTTA BE DOIN???

K N J: BTUFHDJ BITHC

K N J: GRITUITICHUCJIF D

seokkjin: JUNGKOOK U BETTA STOP

seokkjin: cant talk abt hw when u aint done yours in months my dude :(

= Spicydick = : DEADASS CHOKE JUNGKOOK

. kook . : :)

-

Chapter Text

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS = Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

suga: jiminnn where r u :(

Chimini: bb im schleep

suga: youre not at school?

Chimini: uh if i say im schleep then yes i aint at school r y dumb or r u dumb

Chimini: ily b

suga: u kno wot fuck school issa friday anyway i wanna see u again

suga: ily u mon cheri

Chimini: omgggfhuf youre so cute i love u so much :(((((

. kook .: BTIHCBHD

. kook .: CANN YALL STOP?!? THIS SHIT NASTY

Taelicious: deADASS

Taelicious: I ALMOST FOCKIN GAGGED YALL SO UGLYFHUDJI

seokkjin: NAH

seokkjin: LET MY BABYS BE

seokkjin: I FUCK WIT DI VISION

K N J : noah fence but is this how me and jin seem to yall bc if it is im fr so sorry

. kook .: this is how yall r except they worse

suga: talk shit all u want abt me wicho ugly ass but u cant talk abt my baby

Chimini: ^^ hes so cute i love him so much yall hfkjd

= Spicydick =: ok now this shit is gettin fweaky

= Spicydick =: jimin typed his "uhfjfj" all lowercase n shit

= Spicydick =: i-i jos .... this dont add up

Chimini: SO NOW I CANT TYPE MY FHUFJ LOWECASE HUH

suga: jimin i will beat his ass rn jos tell me ill do it

= Spicydick =: lmaoooo try it bitch boy

Chimini: i fuck wit that vision papi chulo make it happen <3

= Spicydick =: BITCH HUH?!?!

= Spicydick =: ALLAH PLEASE FORGIVE ME I WONT DO NONE OF THAT SHIT TO JIMIN AGAIN PLS

Taelicious: THIS MAN IS FR FR ON HIS KNEES YALL FJFJKF

. kook .: what i dont get is why he prayin to allah when its jimin he shold be prayin to bot thas none of my business

. kook .: i wanna see some ass get beat today!!!

= Spicydick =: i-i

Chimini: nvm bb!!! dont beat his ass ! also did i mention i love u

suga: nope! not enought <3

Chimini: i love youuuu !!!

suga: and i love uu!!

suga: my lil honey bee

suga: my lil sweet tart

K N J : wot typa oxymoron headass

suga: uh my lil .. titty head

seokkjin: GHFKFJJ

Chimini: ily 2 chilis <3

suga: huh

suga: chilis??

Chimini: well my nickname is titty head so yo nickname is chilis

suga: ...for....for y tho

Chimini: i like chilis:(

suga: o me too :)

Chimini: :)

. kook .: im rly abt ta puke stop this im beggin

. kook .: pLS

seokkjin: i agree wit jungkook i no longer fuck wit this vision

suga: :(

Chimini: >:( WELL BITCH YALL BETTA START FUCKIN WIT THE VISION

Chimini: OUT HERE MAKIN MY MANS SAD LIKE TAT

K N J : jimin snapped jfikfj

Chimini: FUCK U TALKIN FOR HUH???

K N J : i-i was jos sayin-

Chimini: NAH ... THAS WOT WE NOT GONNA DO TODAY

K N J : BU T LISTEN BTIHC

Chimini: UH NAH NAMJOON

Chimini: I AINT GON LISTEN

Chimini: AINT U GOT SOME ASS TO EAT OR LIKE SOM TOES TO LICK?

Chimini: FWEAKY ASS

suga: oh my go d u rly did snap fuhdjfhjd

Chimini: haha i knooo <3

Taelicious: IM GONNA SCREAME HDSJ JIMINS SO WHIPPED FOR YOONGI

= Spicydick =: yoongi too tf!!! this man look so in love rn!

. kook .: we in some damn parallel universe bc this is crazy ass hell

seokkjin: us for the past like 6 months: CAN YOONGI AND JIMIN DATE ALREADY
us when they finally start dating: THIS SHIT SO FOCKIN UGLY UHDJFHUD PLS STOP E W

K N J : deadass

K N J : two can play it dat game tho!!!

K N J : jinnn!!!!

Taelicious: NO

. kook .: PLS BTIHC MAKE THIS STOP

= Spicydick =: we fockin dead

seokkjin: yes bb??

K N J : Ma mignonne petite tête grasse <3

seokkjin: bithc wot the fock that say

seokkjin: thas cruel namjoon

seokkjin: u kno my ass failed french

-

seokkjin: JFK WHY DOES IT SAY "MY LITTE FAT HEAD"

seokkjin: fuCK YOU UHRJDH

-

Chapter Text

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS = Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

. kook .: a-ayo jin

. kook .: cuh

. kook .:lemme borrow ya car foh a sec

seokkjin : bitch for y

. kook .: uh all of my tires went fockin flat

. kook .: some lil dumbass kid decided to ion kno break some damn bottles or someting

. kook .: so now my shits fucked

seokkjin : damn that sound like a you problem

. kook .: OH

. kook .: SO YOU GON BE LIKE THAT????

. kook .: EVEN THO IVE DONE SO MUCH FOR U??

seokkjin : BITCH NAME ONE THING YOUVE DONE FOR ME

. kook .: REMEMBER THAT ONE TIME YOU WAS COUGHIN AND I HIT YOU ON YO BACK AND SAID "damn get well soon"

seokkjin : HFJFJFIJK BITHC

seokkjin : NAH SEE YOU STRAIGHT UP CRAZY

seokkjin : IF U FINK THATS GOOD ENOUGH YOU ON SOME DUMB SHIT

. kook .: well u c

. kook .: i might BE on some dumb shit

. kook .: and i might BE on my way to smoke some moh

. kook .: i could call a mechanic but i thot u was gon let me use ya car

. kook .: sorry for finking we was friends!!!

seokkjin : r u sayin you high

seokkjin : bitch hold on

seokkjin : what fuckin street are you on

. kook .: uhh titiy street

seokkjin : JUNGKOOK

. kook .: aIGHT AIGHT DAMN

. kook .: JONGNO GU

seokkjin : prepare that ass for a beating btihc

-

seokkjin : JUNGKOOK

seokkjin : YOU LIED TO ME

seokkjin : WHERE THE FU CK ARE U

seokkjin : I SEE YA CAR BUT WHERE IS YOUR ASS

. kook .: im @ the bafroom

seokkjin : FUCK u mean "the bafroom" none of these houses are yours

. kook .: wot

seokkjin : wot u mean wot

. kook .: none of these houses r mine?

seokkjin : BITHC

seokkjin : NO

. kook .: S-SO THEN HOW AM I TAKIN THE SHIT OF MY LIFE RN

seokkjin : oh my god

. kook .: u h tell me why i jos heard some lady go "kids i got yalls food!"

. kook .: i dont wemember havin kids

seokkjin : i cant believe this

. kook .: j-jin

. kook .: this aint my house huh

seokkjin : NO IT FOCKIN AINT

seokkjin : GET OUT BTIHC

. kook .: BUT MY BOOTYHOLE

. kook .: SHE AINT DONE POOPIN

seokkjin : I SWEAR TO GOF IF U DONT GET OUT THAT DAMN HOUSE IMA MAKE SURE YOU NEVA POOP AGAIN

. kook .: shit im comin!

-

. kook .: jin do u see me

. kook .: i see yo ass fjfkfkjd

. kook .: my dude why you look so mad for

. kook .: uuh my dude

. kook .: WHY YOU GOT A BELT ON YOU

. kook .:NFUCK

-

. kook .: im never talkin to jin again

seokkjin : :(

Chimini: what he do

. kook .: beat my ass in front of everybody in that damn neighborhood

Chimini: FHUJFF

. kook .: IT AINT FUNNY

. kook .: SOME LIL GIRL ASKED HA MOMMA WHY I WAS GETTIN BEAT AND U KNOW WOT DI MOM SAID??

Chimini: WHAT SHE SAY

. kook .: "cuh he a lil dumb ass kid"

. kook .: FUCKA KID

. kook .: IM A MAN

Taelicious : jungkook noah fence but i giggled

Chimini: i stiffled my laugh

. kook .: I-I

. kook .: FUCK YALL

-

K N J : I jus finished di 4 hour long test

K N J : it was

K N J : HOURable

K N J : FUHHFJF

K N J : YALL GET IT ???

K N J : ITS LIKE HORRIBLE B-BUT WIT DI HOUR

suga: DELETE THAT SHIT

suga: MAD UNFUNNY JOKES

Chimini: FHDJFUHFJK

Chimini: I SCREAMD J

suga: UFHJFJ ME TOO

K N J : WOT TYPA FAKE ASS

suga: shUT DI FOCK

Taelicious : oh shti jin

Taelicious : ya mans comin foh ya career!

Taelicious : ya whack ass joke career

seokkjin : i aint bustin a vein ova it

seokkjin : im coolin!!!

seokkjin : mans got some fonny jokes ill give him that!!

K N J : thank u thank u *bows*

seokkjin : now they aint that funny calm down

K N J : bithcvh

= Spicydick =: clocked!

= Spicydick =: yall i feel like a free man

= Spicydick =: NONE of my teacher assigned hw

= Spicydick =: i can finally jack it

= Spicydick =: and spend time wit marco

= Spicydick =: and uh

= Spicydick =: shit what else am i supposed to do

Taelicious : UH HANG OUT WITH US?

= Spicydick =: nah thas lame

K N J : UH

= Spicydick =: issa joke

suga: a wack joke

= Spicydick =: anyway wot yall wanna do then

= Spicydick =: go to the park ??

= Spicydick =: do yall still do that?

Chimini: MY DUDE HOW MUCH HW THEY BE GIVIN U UP IN THEM AP CLASSES

Chimini: BC OUR ASSES AINT NEVA BEEN TO NO PARK

Chimini: YOU STUCK IN SOME DAMN 1990S SHIT

seokkjin : DEADASS

seokkjin : aight well

seokkjin : jk r u still mad at me

. kook .: ion kno am i ? >:(

seokkjin : dont get no damn fuckin attitude wit me

seokkjin : i mean

seokkjin : :( dont be mad @ me no moh

seokkjin : less have a lil gatherin at ya place

seokkjin : we can watch movies

= Spicydick =: smoke som weed

. kook .: FUCK

. kook .: HSOEK

. kook .:BITHC

seokkjin : WHAT DI FUCK YOU SAID???!?!

seokkjin : SMOKIN WEED?? IN MY PRESENCE ?

seokkjin : THAT WILL GET U A CERTIFIED ASS WHOPPIN

seokkjin : AIGH AIGHT DA MN

Chimini: we finna watch movies?!!

Chimini: me and yoongi got di snacks on lock!

suga: what yall want

suga: banana chips?

Taelicious : banana what bithch???

Taelicious : fuck outa here

Taelicious : ima need some hot cheetos thas what ima need

. kook .: BANANA CHIPS FHFJFJ

suga: so yall jus want hot cheetos

suga: no banana chips

. kook .: now we aint say all det

. kook .: i need di banana chips

. kook .: my stomach fragile

. kook .: cant handle spicy foods

Chimini: sir

Chimini: you almost ran di taco bell down the street out business bc ya ass ate so much

Chimini: fuck outa here wicho " my stomach fragile :(" ass

. kook .: LISTEN BTIH V

. kook .: THAT WAS THE OLD ME

Taelicious : this literally happened 3 weeks ago fuh u mean

. kook .: I-I

. kook .: JUS BRING DI DAMN CHIPS

-

seokkjin : so uh who bringin di movies

= Spicydick =: ion kno if youve noticed but

= Spicydick =: this aint di 2000s

= Spicydick =: movies r online now

seokkjin : hOSEOK SAY ONE MOH SLICK TING

seokkjin : AND YOU DEAD MY BOY

-

2 muh fuckin hours later

. kook .: SO YALLS ASSES JUS GON LEAVE AND MAKE ME CLEAN UP DI MESS???

. kook .: AW NAH YALL TRIPPIN

. kook .: GET YALLS ASSES BACK IN HERE

seokkjin : boy im schleep

seokkjin : fuck allah that

= Spicydick =: snooz snooz my dude

K N J : uh my ass knocked out

K N J : sorry bout all det

K N J : w-we'll help u in di mornin aight?

. kook .: NO

. kook .: NOT AIGHT

. kook .:BITHCNDJ M

-

Chapter Text

GC: CHOKE YOU RATS = Spicydick = , suga , K N J , seokkjin . kook . , Chimini , Taelicious

Chimini: yo where di fock is we

. kook .: u kno we right beside u right

. kook .: aint no reason to use ya phone n text us my dude

Chimini: ION SEE U TALKIN SO

Taelicious: he got u there bitch!!!

-

Marco: welcome to the reunion of Everyone Lies Sometimes, in this episode we are gonna look back at all the whack ass moments
any questions?

Hoseok: uh yeah

Hoseok: wot episodes u talmbout??? and the fuck is a everyone lies sometimes-

Marco: SMS: SERVICE ERROR 305: MESSAGE DELIVERY FAILED. FURTHER MESSAGES WILL BE CHARGED TO YOUR ACCOUNT.

Hoseok: BITCH THAT SHIT DONT WORK WHEN ITS REAL LIFE FUCK OUTA HERE

Marco: i-i

Marco: lets get started

-

* A scene on the big ass screen behind di gang shows jimin jumping yoongi while hoseok laufs *

Marco: ah ! episode 13 - my coins what a nice moment shared between the now lovers

seokkjin: why this fool talkin like that????

Taelicious: where di fuck that big ass tv come from aint we in a warehouse?

Chimini: WHY HE HAD TO BRING THAT UP??? SUGA BEAT MY ASS 2 DAYS LATER BC OF THAT

suga: DAMN I REMEMBER THAT SHIT IT WAS WILD

suga: u looked cute jumping me dont worry

Chimini: :((( u looked cuter on di floor tho :((( i saw a lil bit of ya dick btw-

K N J : so yall jus gon be nasty in front of us? ima leave

. kook .: me too tf i gagged

Marco: BITCH YALL AINT GOIN NOWHERE UNTIL WE FINISH THIS DAMN EPISODE

Taelicious: OK UH

Taelicious: WHAT EPISODES YALL TALMBOUT

Taelicious: OUR LIVES WERE A SHOW???

Taelicious: HOW DID MARCO KNO ALLAH THIS SHIT HAPPENED?

everyone: *looks at hoseok*

Hoseok: ?? bitch what i look like?? a zookeeper? ion kno!

Marco: yall jus gon talk abt me when im right here? hoseok hold me back ima whoop some ass

Hoseok: *pickin at his teef* i aint doin shit

-

Marco: next scene is actually from the last episode!

. kook .: tell me its not wot i fink it is

* the tv shows jungkook getting his ass beat in front of all di lil kids by jin *

. kook .: TAE HOLD ME BAC K HOLD ME BACK

Taelicious: o-o aight

*tae puts his hand on jks shoulder lightly*

*jk's lil dramatic ass acts as if tae had yanked him backwards*

. kook .: naH NAH LET ME GO LET ME G-

Taelicious: STOP ACKIN A FOOL BTIH C

seokkjin: *lookin at him beating jks ass* that was such an iconic day i miss those times :(

. kook .: FUH U MEAN U MISS THEM TIMES???: U BET MY BEHIND YESTERDAY!

seokkjin: * ignoring jk* m-miss them times

Marco: now-

* this broadcast has been interrupted by me sayin im gettin hongry so im finna eat a hotdog uh di chap ova go read my otha story if u like it ig I LOVE YALL *