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Published:
2016-11-23
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1/1
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Lost Cause

Summary:

“I really don’t want to screw this up, Alex. You have no idea how scared I am of screwing this up.”

Notes:

For zennie and djshiva who both wanted a little something to help ease the beautiful torture of the Sanvers slow burn. All mistakes are mine.

Work Text:

Panicked, Maggie didn’t slow when she hit the secluded entrance at the DEO, waving her special access badge at the guards and blowing right through the metal detector, setting it off as it sensed her firearms. Warning shouts went up, but Maggie kept moving, breaking into a run. It wasn’t smart, and it wasn’t safe, but she didn’t give a damn.

After receiving the text from Winn, Maggie didn’t even remember leaving her date or driving to the DEO. The only thing she’d been able to think about was getting to Alex.

Nearly to the main control center, hands suddenly grabbed Maggie from behind as the guards tried to slow her down. Her hands balled into fists, ready to fight everyone keeping her from Alex’s side, when a commanding, familiar voice intervened.

“It’s okay. Let her go.”

Maggie looked up to see Supergirl standing there, hands on her hips, looking both concerned and faintly amused. She had never been so happy to see the superhero in her life.

“But, Ma’am…” One of the guards started to argue.

“She’s with me,” Supergirl promised them. “I’ll make sure she follows protocol next time.”

Disgruntled, the guards unhanded Maggie and she jerked her jacket back into position as they left.

“Where is she? What happened? Is she okay?” Maggie demanded, rapid fire, as she advanced on the superhero.

“She’s okay,” Supergirl said with a trace of a reassuring smile.

Tension and fear fled Maggie’s body so fast she bent at the waist, hands on her knees, trying to suck in air. It felt like she’d been holding her breath ever since she’d gotten the news Alex was hurt.

“She’s okay,” Supergirl said again with a hint of sympathy. “Just bruised and a little banged up. She’s got a twisted ankle she needs to stay off of for a day or so, but Alex is going to be fine.”

“Your buddy Winn could have said that in his text,” Maggie spat, “instead of letting me think Alex was…” She trailed off as Supergirl stepped closer, her blue eyes studying Maggie with barely concealed interest. Her hand came down on Maggie’s shoulder, squeezing gently.

“Sorry. When I asked him to contact you, it wasn’t my intention to frighten you. I just thought you’d want to know.”

Maggie nodded. “Yeah. I… thanks.” She stood up straighter, trying to regain some of her composure.

“Wanna see her?” Supergirl asked, her smile widening.

****

Maggie shook her head as they stepped inside the medical bay. Alex was arguing with the doctor, which seemed to be of no surprise to anyone, but then Alex saw her and her whole demeanor changed. She looked startled to see Maggie there, but the small, bashful smile that shaped her lips was the best thing Maggie had laid eyes on all day.

Supergirl snorted faintly at the two of them.

“What?” Maggie asked.

“Nothing. It’s just… you’re apparently more effective than a sedative to get her to calm down and behave.” Supergirl smirked.

Maggie wasn’t sure what to think of that declaration.

The doctor finished with Alex and walked away with a look of relief as Maggie and Supergirl took his place.

“You okay?” Supergirl asked, tapping Alex on the knee.

“Fine,” Alex sighed, shifting a little where she sat on the edge of the bed, her long legs dangling. Up close, Maggie could see a bruise darkening along Alex’s jaw and both the agent’s hands were wrapped in gauze. Alex also had one boot off, her exposed foot neatly wrapped with a black bandage. “More pissed than anything.”

Supergirl nodded and the pair exchanged some wordless sentiment Maggie couldn’t decipher. One of these days she needed to ask Alex what was up between the two of them, because they didn’t act like colleagues. Alex’s gaze shifted to Maggie again and softened. At least Maggie could comfort herself knowing that whatever was up with Alex and the Girl of Steel, Alex never looked at her the way she was looking at Maggie right now.

And apparently Supergirl noticed. “Um… I need to… go do… a thing,” Supergirl finished lamely, giving them both a flash of her brilliant smile. “I’ll let you two talk.” She winked at Alex and the agent rolled her eyes.

“Thanks,” Maggie said sincerely as Supergirl started to walk away.

“No problem, Detective.” With one last look at Alex, Supergirl left them alone.

“Must be nice, having a superhero looking out for you,” Maggie murmured.

“It has it’s perks, although she’s probably eavesdropping on us right now.” Alex grinned, affection clear in her tone. “You didn’t have to come down here.”

“Your friend Winn texted me that you were hurt. Where else was I gonna go?”

Alex stared at her for a moment, a puzzled but sweet smile on her lips. Maggie dreamed about that smile. Racing to the DEO, she’d been terrified she might never see it again.

“Well, you can see I’m fine,” Alex said with a shrug. “Got a few more aches and bruises then I woke up with this morning, but I’m okay. You don’t have to stay.”

Swallowing, Maggie came closer, putting one hand on the bed near Alex’s hip. Her frantic heartbeat was finally starting to slow as her fear abated, but now it was doing that weird, fluttery thing it liked to do whenever she was close to Alex. The sensation was equal parts annoying and addictive. “They going to keep you overnight?”

“Like to see them try,” Alex muttered and Maggie grinned. “Sorry you skipped out on your date for this.”

“I’m not. You’re better company anyways.”

Alex’s eyebrows lifted slightly. “Wasn’t going well?” She didn’t sound terribly upset, Maggie noted.

“Not particularly. I should thank you for the excuse to bail early.”

Alex huffed in amusement only to wince and grip her side. Maggie’s fingers covered Alex’s before she could think better of it, and they both went still at the contact.

“You okay?” Maggie asked in a hushed voice.

Brown eyes swept over Maggie’s features before Alex slowly nodded. “Yeah,” she answered softly. “Just don’t make me laugh.”

“Why don’t I take you home so you can rest in your own bed?”

“Oh…” Alex’s eyes widened in surprise. “You… you don’t have to do that…”

“You’re my partner, Danvers. That’s exactly what I need to do. You’d do it for me.”

They stared at each other a moment, and Maggie reveled in the connection between them, pulsing in the air like a living thing, warm, breathing, and alive. How this woman she’d only know for a few months had become so important, so integral to Maggie’s well-being, Maggie didn’t know. She wasn’t sure she wanted to.

Alex gave her a brief nod and slid carefully off the bed, wincing again as she balanced on one foot. “A bath and a pizza sound pretty damn good at this point,” she had to admit.

“It’s settled then.” Maggie picked up Alex’s leather jacket and held it for Alex to gingerly slip into. This close, she could feel Alex’s heat, could smell the subtle perfume she occasionally wore.

“Did you ride your bike here?” Alex asked as she straightened her jacket and grabbed her remaining boot off the bed.

“No. I’ve still got my police issue. Smells a little like Italian sausage, but it will get us where we need to go.”

Alex grimaced at the description and Maggie chuckled.

“You need crutches?”

“Um…” Alex licked her lips. “Not really. I hate those damn things. Could I maybe just…” She mimed putting her arm around Maggie’s shoulders.

“Uh… sure.” Maggie moved closer, and Alex leaned against her, one arm draping around Maggie’s neck as Maggie slipped hers around Alex’s waist. Affected more than she wanted to admit by Alex’s nearness, Maggie swallowed roughly as her left hand reached up, gripping Alex’s to help support her. Tingles swept through her everywhere they touched, and Maggie was borderline embarrassed she was enjoying this.

Her determination to remain purely friends with Alex Danvers seemed to be under constant assault, and Maggie was getting weary of trying to fight it. “You good?” Maggie winced when she heard how breathless she sounded.

“Yeah. Thanks.” Alex offered her a tiny, shy smile, and the temptation to kiss her, right there in the DEO medical bay, nearly made Maggie curse.

****

“Nice place, Danvers. How do you manage to keep it this clean?”

Alex shrugged as Maggie closed and locked the door. “I’m hardly ever here. Don’t look too closely or you’ll see a month’s worth of dust on everything.”

Maggie smirked. “You spend most of your free time at Kara’s, huh?”

“Or at the bar with you,” Alex said distractedly as she dumped her boot on the floor and limped into her kitchen.   

Taking a slow, deep breath, Maggie sternly told herself it did not make her happy to think about Alex liking to spend time with her. “So how is Kara? She still want to punch me in the face?”

Hesitating at the refrigerator, Alex eventually grimaced. “Noticed that, huh?”

“If looks could kill, I’m pretty sure she’d have melted my face off that night at the bar.”

“She’s… protective,” Alex said with a smile, yanking open the refrigerator door and handing Maggie a bottle of beer. “Pizza should be here soon if you’re hungry.”

“Sure.” Maggie bit her lip, startled by her heart speaking before her head. Staying was a bad idea, especially when her emotions were still raw and so close to the surface. What she had with Alex was too good, too necessary, to screw it up, and Alex deserved better then someone so incompetent at relationships.

But God, a woman like Alex made Maggie want to try.

They settled on the couch, a polite distance between them, and Alex turned on the TV for background noise as they drank their beers.

“So what happened tonight?” Maggie asked to fill the silence. She lightly tapped the back of one of Alex’s gauze covered hands. “Should I see the other guy?”

“I did something stupid.” Alex picked at the label on her beer bottle.

“And you didn’t invite me so I could watch?” Maggie teased, earning her a half grin.

“As often as I do stupid things around you, I thought I’d give you the night off,” Alex answered with a sigh. “Cadmus kidnapped Supergirl recently and they held her in this old, converted warehouse.”

Maggie straightened slightly. “They captured Supergirl?” The thought was beyond unsettling that Cadmus had that kind of power.

“She got away,” Alex murmured, “obviously. Someone… someone got her out of there.” She swallowed again, tears suddenly glittering in her eyelashes.

“Someone you know?” Maggie guessed.

Alex was quiet a moment, and Maggie didn’t push, letting her explain when she was ready. “My father worked for the DEO,” Alex said unexpectedly as she wiped at her eyes. “He was killed on a mission to apprehend an alien.”

Maggie took a deep breath, not tracking where all this was going yet, but she ached for the other woman. “Alex, I’m sorry…”

Waving her hand, Alex batted away the sentiment. “I was a teenager when it happened, but then… a while ago… I found out my dad wasn’t dead. He was taken by Cadmus.”

Drawn to Alex’s upset as much as the story she was revealing, Maggie shifted closer. “And your dad? He helped Supergirl escape?”

Alex nodded. “He stayed behind to help them get away. I… I went to that damn warehouse alone tonight because I… I don’t know. I guess I wanted to feel closer to him somehow.” She snorted derisively, gesturing to the darkening bruise on her jaw before her hand swept over her body. “You can see that didn’t go so well.”

“Who jumped you?”

“I don’t know. Cadmus operatives, probably. They had some training. If Supergirl hadn’t…” Alex shrugged.

“They would have killed you,” Maggie whispered, the realization sinking into her bones and leaving her cold all over. “Alex…”

“Not so sure about that. They tried to recruit me once. Maybe they were trying to draft me tonight. Rather forcefully...” Alex winced and shifted, and Maggie reached out, no longer capable of resisting her desire to touch the other woman. She let her fingertips glide down Alex’s arm in wordless comfort, wrapping them around her wrist where Alex’s pulse jumped at the contact.

Staring at Maggie’s hand, Alex’s swallowed unevenly. “I… um…” She started to say more when there was a knock at the door.

Maggie cursed the interruption, even though it likely just saved her from doing something she’d promised herself she wouldn’t do.

“Pizza,” Alex murmured, starting to get to her feet.

“Stay, Danvers. Tonight, dinner is on me.”

****

The pizza box sat empty on the coffee table, bracketed by several equally empty beer bottles. It was way past late, but Maggie savored spending time with Alex. She kept delaying her departure, but as she watched Alex stifle another yawn, Maggie reluctantly admitted it was time to go.

“You should get some sleep, Danvers. You did get beaten up today.”

Alex glanced at her watch. “Yesterday, actually.” She glanced at Maggie. “Sorry again about your date.”

“Are you really?” Maggie teased. Alex had met the woman at the bar and she hadn’t been impressed.

Alex shrugged. “You know how I feel about you,” she admitted quietly with the kind of brutal honesty Maggie was slowly adapting to. “I’m not going to lie and say that it’s easy watching you date other women, but I want you to be happy, Maggie.”

Maggie couldn’t hold Alex’s gaze; afraid the other woman would see those dates for the pathetic excuse they were. None of those women could hold a candle to Alex, and Maggie was starting to accept none of them ever would. “Alex…”

“It’s okay,” Alex murmured with a sad smile.

“It’s late. I should...” The last thing Maggie wanted was to leave, but the intensity had been steadily building between them all night. If she stayed much longer, Maggie couldn’t trust herself not to cross the line. The way Alex was looking at her now didn’t help.

“Would you stay if I asked you to?” Alex asked unexpectedly.

Maggie sucked in a surprised breath.

“I just… I don’t want to be…” Alex closed her eyes and shook her head, the moment of vulnerability gone. “Never mind. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…”

It was impossible to deny Alex what she so clearly needed, and Maggie had some understanding of how hard it must have been to ask. “Got something I can sleep in?” she asked lightly.

“Maggie, seriously. Just forget I...”

“Not in the habit of doing things I don’t want, Danvers.”

They stared at one another, emotion rising between them, along with an underlying heat that had the potential to consume them both.

Something in her snapped, and Maggie gave in, leaning in and kissing Alex the way she’d been denying herself for weeks now. Alex’s lips parted against hers with a soft gasp, and Maggie pressed closer, threading her hands through Alex’s hair. Alex’s mouth was so soft, so sinfully warm, Maggie never wanted to stop.

When they finally parted minutes later, breathing heavily, Maggie knew resisting this woman was a lost cause.

“Wow,” Alex said with a slow grin, calling back to their first, too brief kiss. “Why did you…?”

“Because I…” Maggie swallowed, some part of her knowing she would never get tired of Alex’s smile, even if she was lucky enough to see it every day of her life. “Because I can’t keep pretending I didn’t want to.”

Cautiously, Alex eased forward and Maggie met her halfway, kissing her again with a little more heat and a lot more tongue. Alex might be new to the whole gay thing, but she sure as hell had kissing another woman down.

Alex finally leaned back, trembling. “This is… this is how it’s supposed to feel, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know.” Maggie smiled encouragingly. “How does it feel?”

“Like Christmas and the Fourth of July all rolled into one.” Alex traced her thumb down Maggie’s jaw and back up again. “God, Maggie. I…”

Maggie shushed her gently. “We’re going to take this slow, okay? You’re… you’re new to all this, and I suck at relationships. Maybe… maybe we can teach each other a thing or two.”

Alex nodded. “Does this mean you’re staying the night?”

“Yeah. I’m staying, but just to sleep. You’re injured.”

Alex pouted and Maggie chuckled, sliding her own thumb over Alex’s bottom lip before dipping it into the small, sexy dent on Alex’s chin.

“I really don’t want to screw this up, Alex. You have no idea how scared I am of screwing this up.”

Alex searched Maggie’s features before she nodded again. “I waited 26 years of my life to feel this way. I’m not letting it go now without a fight.”

Maggie closed her eyes. “I think I might be swooning a little, Danvers, and I don’t swoon.”

Laughing, Alex kissed her softly, and Maggie was already getting addicted to the sensation. “You’ve been making me swoon for weeks now. About time I turned the tables.”

“Trust me. You turned the tables on me from the moment we met.” Maggie rested her forehead against Alex’s.

“Just... tell me this isn’t a dream. That I’m not going to wake up passed out and alone on my couch,” Alex pleaded playfully, but Maggie didn’t miss the note of sincerity in her voice.

“You’re going to wake up in my arms in that big bed yours,” Maggie promised. “If that’s okay.”

Alex nodded, her eyes shining with unshed tears as she smiled the most beautiful smile Maggie had ever seen.