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A Seraphims Jealousy

Summary:

Eggchan has caught Wemmbu talking and hanging out with Pangi instead of working on collecting their debt—feeling jealous and possessive over the demon, what can he possibly do to punish him?

DONT LIKE DON'T READ

Notes:

WARNINGS:
-Piss kink
- Boundary breaking

My updates are gonna be reallly slow after this because my holidays are ending (𖦹﹏𖦹;)

I have been STARVED from Eggbu, so I'm making my own fic for a personal pleasure of mine. No, I do not have a piss kink, I just write it because it's funny

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Eggchan was working on his desk—sorting through papers that he needed to sign mixed together with applications from people to join their newly built empire. He breathed out a long sigh once he had finished separating each paper according to type and needs.

Looking around the room, it was extremely quiet except for the blowing sound coming from his air conditioner and the slight ruffle of his wings. He couldn't help but ponder on what Wemmbu was doing at the moment—the demon had recently been visiting Egg less and less, always claiming that he had work to do or that the needed to find someone to repay their debt.

He couldn't help but feel a bit guilty—sending Wemmbu out to repay a debt even though the debt was mostly caused by the demon himself—but he couldn't help it. Wemmbu must probably feel extremely tired from the amount of work that he was putting on the demon.

So he sent someone out to watch him—to see what he was doing when he left, to watch how he managed to repay back their debt of an astonishing amount of enchanting bottles.

Speaking of the devil—his assistant that he had sent out to watch Wemmbu had arrived, the elevator doors sliding open to reveal a stern looking guy equipped in netherite armour.

"Ah yes, have you gotten the information I asked for? " Egg questioned—receiving a nod from the man in front of him. "Yes, I thought that recording a video would be better for you since explaining it would be quite hard" the assistant replied, handing Egg a small chip that looked similar to a USB drive.

"Thank you, you may take your leave now. " Egg grabs the small chip to insert into his computer—while his assistant bows and turns his back to leave through the elevator.

Upon inserting the chip into his computer, a black screen popped up with a small play button located in the middle—with no other place to tap to, Egg dragged his mouse to click on the play button, starting the video.

Inside the video shows a recording that quality was quite grainy—the sound of leaves rustling and birds chirping being slightly distorted but good enough to recognize what it was. Inside the video shows Wemmbu—talking and laughing with someone.

Upon looking closer, Egg could make out the mystery person to be Pangi—the pangolin hybrid that was working for Princezam during the time they got captured by Clownpierce in a bordered up tiny part of the world to see them survive with each other.

A wave of jealousy and possession washes over Egg—why was Wemmbu hanging out with Pangi? He didn't even help Wemmbu in any way—he doesn't have the riches to provide a sufficient amount of enchanting bottles to repay their debt!

He only had to wait for Wemmbu to arrive back—then he'll 'talk' properly with him. Sending a quick text from his communicator to Wemmbu, asking him to come back to the empire—'important business' he stated.

A few hours passed by, Eggs patience was starting to run out—why was wemmbu late? He usually arrives fast whenever he sends a message asking for his presence—why is he late now?

Deep in though about Wemmbu's late arrival, the elevator doors slide open, revealing a familiar purple demon behind those doors—frowning angrily.

"Bro, Egg, can we PLEASE get rid of that elevator? It's so useless" wemmbu whines, walking over to Eggchan and standing right in front of his office desk.

"Why were you late. "

Egg's stern question send a chill up Wemmbu's spine—the usually cool and funny friend showing a side of him to Wemmbu that he wasn't familiar with.

The room went quiet for a few seconds, before wemmbu spoke up.

"Uhh—yeah I needed to handle our debt you know, and like ban some people to steal from them.. " Wemmbu mutters nervously—obviously lying, he spent all the time talking to Pangi like he was a professional therapist.

"Was handling our debt include talking to a certain pangolin hybrid? "

Egg's question shocked Wemmbu—how did he know? He covered his paths and not only that, before meeting up with Pangi he made sure to check for any spies.

"H—huh? Pangolin hybrid? Hah, I don't know what your talking about Egg—maybe that work stress has caught up to you" Wemmbu chuckles nervously—playing with his fingers while a bead of sweat falls from his forehead.

"Don't play dumb Wemmbu, I saw you with Pangi—you were talking to him like some fucking therapist session. " Egg scolds. Wemmbu's posture stiffened—how did he find out? Anyways, it's not some problem that Egg should be concerned about, he wasn't even focusing on him—besides the times he asks Wemmbu about their debt balance.

"Geez—fine, I was talking with him. Why are you even so pressed anyways, just stick to your professional businessman stuff and I'll stick to mine. " Wemmbu retorts, eyes narrowing to glare at Egg—that apparently was also mad at Wemmbu.

"I'm mad because you would rather hang out with your enemies friend rather than your own best friend—do you really think Im boring Wemm? " There it is again—the stupid nickname that makes his body go all soft.

"I—it's not that, I just—"

"What Wemm? You think I'm too controlling? Too boring? Huh? I heard what you told to Pangi—I know what you said about me. "

That sentence shocked Wemmbu. How does he know everything—was he spying on him? Why does he always find out everything without him knowing—it's almost like he doesn't have a life outside of Egg's grasp.

"If you really find me that boring, I guess I have no other choice to make myself look more entertaining. "

Before Wemmbu could react, Egg pinned Wemmbu against the wall, pressing his nose to the demons neck—sniffing his lavender scent that has a small hint of gunpowder on him.

"E—Egg, what are you doing—" Wemmbu struggles from Egg's hold. Egg notices this and moves his hands to pin both of Wemmbu's wrists to the wall. It was relatively easy to do since he was scarily taller than Wemmbu due to his seraphim genes.

Egg moves his knee to pin in between Wemmbu's legs, grinding it slowly and pressing slightly between grinds—making Wemmbu groan from the sensation. "Wemm, before I do this—do you want to do this? "

Wemmbu opened his eyes—shocked at the question. Usually when they had sex Egg would just dive in and Wemmbu would accept whatever the seraphim gave him. But him suddenly asking was unexpected—and also quite frightening, why was Egg asking? Did he have something planned for them that was bad enough that Egg needed asking? Or is he just feeling a bit sympathetic now?

"...Y... Yea.. " Wemmbu muttered, shock still evident on his face as Egg dives in to bite at his collarbone—creating a small, angry red bite mark—making wemmbu shiver.

Egg removes one hand from Wemmbu's wrist and trails it down to remove the demons pants—unbuckling each strap and pulling it down slowly while prepping kisses all over his neck. He continues by removing Wemmbu's light purple panties—exposing his pussy wide open to Egg.

The sensation of cold hair hitting his pussy makes Wemmbu shiver—he had never done this in an office or a wide area before, they always resorted to doing it in the bedroom—never elsewhere.

Egg cups Wemmbu's puffy pussy with the palm of his hand—using his middle finger to trail between the folds, making Wemmbu release slick from the sensation. "I'm going to punish you for your actions Wemm. " Egg whispers in his ear, malice hidden between his words.

Before Wemmbu could question Eggs threat, he was pulled by the wrist to the seraphims office chair—pushed to lay down over Eggs lap and getting a harsh strike on his pussy—making him yelp in shock.

"AH—! Egg—wha-what are you doing! " Wemmbu whisper shouts, not wanting to make loud noises in fear of someone walking in on them. "Sorry Wemmbu, but I can't stand to see you replace me with another. You're mine. " The last words being whispered so lightly that Wemmbu couldn't catch on of what Egg had told him—just to be interrupted with another slap on his pussy.

"Your cunts reacting so much to this Wemmbu, do you like it? " Egg teases, bringing down his hand onto Wemmbu's pussy once again. "HAH! —Egg—stop it hurts! " Wemmbu pleads, shaking his body around to move away. "Not after what you've done to me Wemm—I can't just let you go with a simple warning" Egg slaps his palm onto Wemmbu's pussy—harder this time.

"Ah—Egg... Stop... " tears well up in Wemmbu's eyes, the pain from Egg's palm being too much for his pussy. "No Wemmbu, you're going to take it like a good boy. " Egg reprimands—smacking Wemmbu's pussy once more, making the demon cry out.

"Egg—stop... If not I'll continue hanging out with Pangi instead of you!! I'll leave you to do your stupid paper work while I have fun with him!! Good luck on getting your cock warmed. " Wemmbu threatens.

Luckily form him, Egg's slapping does come to a stop—momentarily. The seraphim is left pondering—a wave of jealousy and possessiveness washing over him—Pangi? That red pangolin hybrid—over him? Why would he even say that. He was much better than some knock-off therapist.

Wemmbu smirked triumphantly—assuming that Egg has caved in to his playful threat—but soon proved wrong with a loud smack on his cunt.

"You—smack—think—smack—that—smack—you—smack—have—smack—the upper hand here??!! —smack " Egg scolds, each hit landing harder than the other, causing tears to flow down Wemmbu's cheeks with every smack. Before the demon could apologize, Eggchan was already bringing down another series of slaps onto Wemmbu's cunt—obvious jealousy hidden between every smack on his cunt.

"I—m sor—rryy!!—smack—" Wemmbu apologizes profusely, only to get ignored by Egg with another few smack on his cunt. With each smack piling up, Wemmbu could feel and unfamiliar warmth pool up in his gut—it wasn't the usual feeling he would get when close to an orgasm, it was different.

Before he could register what the sensation was. Warm liquid trickled down from his pussy— soaking the fabric of Egg's pants.

The room goes silent and Egg's soaking comes to a halt—Wemmbu staring at the floor, face bright red from embarrassment while Eggchan stares at Wemmbu with his mouth slightly open. Before Wemmbu could defend himself—another strike of Egg's palm lands on his pussy, making him yelp.

"Didnt even bother to empty your bladder before meeting me huh? I didn't think you were so unhygienic. " Egg scolds, landing another hit on Wemmbu's pussy. "Ah—I'm sorry—I didn't mean to—Hngh! " Wemmbu apologizes, face filled with tears streaks from the torture on his pussy and the embarrassment.

"Are you a little boy Wemm? Do I need to teach you on how to empty your bladder again? " Egg scolds sweetly—palm grazing over Wemmbu's pussy, making sure to nudge slightly on his nub—making the demon shiver.

"No—no! I couldn't hold it—a-and you were asking for me—so I needed to arrive fast! " Wemmbu panics—it was an obvious lie, once he received a message from Egg, he only grazed his eyes on the notification and continued talking with Pangi for a few more hours.

"Don't lie to me Wemmbu, you soiled my pants with your urine and now you want to lie to me? " Egg inserted two fingers into Wemmbu's cunt—pumping this fingers in and out at an alarming pace, making Wemmbu squeal in his lap.

"Ah! —I'm sorry!! I didn't mean—hngh—to do it!! " Wemmbu thrashed around in Egg's grasp, the sudden penetration from the seraphims long fingers making him tremble from pleasure.

"I know you're sorry, don't ever think of lying to me next time—okay? " Egg bends down to kiss Wemmbu on the back of his neck—proceeding to pump his fingers even deeper inside of the demon.

"Hngh—ahn—! Ahhnn—" Wemmbu moans loudly, scrambling to cover his mouth only to get stopped by Egg with getting his wrist gripped tightly by the seraphim and placed behind his back.

"Don't cover your moans dear, I want to hear all of them. " Egg pumps his fingers into Wemmbu even faster—bringing out an orgasm from the demon, slick and squirt soaking the seraphims pants fabric together with the urine from before.

Loud pants escape from Wemmbu, the harsh orgasm bringing out most of his energy—but Egg wasn't done— no, he was just getting started.

The seraphim removed Wemmbu from his lap, bending him over his office table—making all the papers that Egg took so long to seperate fall on the floor—but that was a worry for another day. Now, he's just focused on running his beloveds pussy.

Egg reached out in his back pocket. Pulling out a small travel pack of condoms—consisting of 6 pieces in a XXL size. He moves his arm to reach over Wemmbu, showing the pack of condoms in front of the demon—then bending down to whisper in Wemmbus ear.

"You better get ready love—cause we're not stopping until I finish the whole pack."

A shiver runs down Wemmbus spine—thats a whole 6 rounds! How could he keep up—considering that Egg needed an XXL and it seemed hard for him to even fit that on his cock.

Before Wemmbu could fight back—Egg's arm pins him down onto the table and spreads his legs, a sound of a zipper opening ringing in his ears followed by a familiar penetration into his pussy.

"Hah—Egg!! That won't fit! Get out! " Wemmbu shouts, wriggling his body around to escape egg's grasp.

"Then we'll make it fit. "

Egg instantly penetrated Wemmbu's pussy in one swift thrust, the feeling of a condom being foreign to him—they rarely fucked with a condom, since Wemmbu can't get pregnant due to his succubus counterpart. They always preferred to do it raw anyways.

Egg thrusted into Wemmbu at the same speed he was with his fingers, each thrust bringing out a groan from the seraphim above him.

"Haah—Wemmbu, your still so tight after all of that?? " Egg praises Wemmbu, grabbing the back of Wemmbu's hair with one of his hands while the other locks onto his waist.

"Hngh—your too—haah—big! " Wemmbu scolds—but remains unmoving, the penetration from Egg's cock being too pleasurable for him to move. "Your pussies just—hah—too tight! " Egg struggles with pulling his cock out to slam back in—the squeezing of Wemmbu's pussy being unbearable for his large cock.

Removing his hand from Wemmbu's hair, he places both hands around Wemmbu's hips tightly and starts thrusting at an alarming speed—uncaring of the writhing demon below him that was currently getting his pussy abused with every thrust that makes the tip of Egg's cock covered with the condom hit his cervix.

"HA—AHN!! —EGG—TOO MU—AH!!—MUCH!! " Wemmbu shouts, his voice echoing throughout the entirety of Egg's office. "Take my cock—ahn—you slut" Egg thrusts back in with newfound energy, the length of his cock rubbing against the walls of Wemmbu's pussy with every snap of his hips.

The pleasure soon overwhelms Wemmbu, bringing him to an early orgasm—slick flowing down his thighs and coating Egg's dick and the condom with his juices. "Hah... Egg—NGH! Too much.. " Wemmbu moans weakly, shifting his hips to get Egg off him.

Egg grabs harder on Wemmbu's hips, diving his cock in deeper the demons tight heat. "Didnt I say that we're not ending until the pack finishes?" Egg continues thrusting into Wemmbu, chasing his own climax—hips stuttering from Wemmbu's death squeeze around his cock.

"Wemm—hah—I'm never going to cum if you squeeze me like that" Egg scolds, landing a light slap on Wemmbu's left buttock—making the demon shiver.

Egg thrusts even harder into Wemmbu, coming close to his climax and burying himself deep into Wemmbu.

While the demon expects the familiar feeling of hot cum sloshing inside his pussy—it is replaced with a slightly warm feeling and instead of him—the bright pink translucent condom was being filled up with the seraphims load.

Delayed with the feeling of Egg's hot load—he whines and shakes his hips, hoping that the condom would come loose and get back the feeling of Egg's load—just to earn another smack on his butt.

Egg slowly pulls his cock out—removing the cum filled condom and tying it up—tossing the used rubber into the nearest trash bin around them. "Egg—can we do one without a condom—please? " Wemmbu pleads, making puppy dog eyes to Egg in hopes to make the seraphim give in.

"No Wemmbu, this is your punishment. Now—another five more pieces to go. " Egg grabs another condom packet and tearing it with his teeth in a swift move—wrapping the condom around his cock and burying himself deep into Wemmbu once again.

Dread pools in Wemmbus stomach—knowing that he wasn't going to get the sensation that he was wanting for quite some time now. "No—please, egg—can we cut it short to—ah—three instead? Please?" Wemmbu pleads to Egg—just for the seraphim to ignore his pleas and continue thrusting into him with practiced ease.

"Your a good boy—hah—Wemmbu, I know you can take five. " Egg pumps his cock into Wemmbu, his office table creaking with every thrust that he makes. "Egg—please! Just three—hngh! —I'll be good—I won't talk with Pangi any more please! " Wemmbu begs to Egg, pushing his hips backward to meet Egg's—in hopes of the seraphim to give in.

"Thats right—since your such a good boy, you can take this right? " Egg praises, bringing down one hand to caress Wemmbu's cheek slightly—his cock pumped deep into Wemmbu.

Wemmbu tears up—knowing that he was never going to get the pleasure he wanted and the moment that he did—he would be too fucked out to even realize it.

Egg flips Wemmbu's body around so that his back is leaning on the table and both of them are making eye contact—Wemmbu swallows down his saliva when his eyes meet Egg's—sweat trickling down his forehead and his eyes were half lidded—cheeks slightly flushed and mouth open with small pants and grunts coming out.

"You look so pretty below me Wemm, such a pretty girl. " Egg kisses Wemmbu on his cheek—making the demons face heat up from the sudden praise—pretty?? He thinks that he was pretty??

"Y—you think im—ngh—pretty? " Wemmbu manages to stutter out, arms wrapped around Egg's neck.

"The prettiest"

Egg lands another kiss on Wemmbu's cheek, hugging the man's waist and fucking into him deep. "Hah—Egg—don't just praise me then continue to rail into me like a starving—HNGH?! " Egg rails into Wemmbu even harder—not wanting the demon to finish his sentence—besides, it was hotter that way.

"Just focus on my dick okay gorgeous? " Egg grabs Wemmbu's chin—pressing a deep kiss onto his lips while his cock rams into the demons cervix—making him moan.

All the praise that was coming out of Egg's mouth was making him go dizzy—the sensation of his previous orgasm coming back as he once again squirts all over Egg's dick—moaning into the deep kiss shared between the demon and the seraphim.

"You cum so prettily Wemmbu, never hide your face from me again" Egg drives his dick even harder into Wemmbu, threatening to break into his cervix with his thick cock, grabbing Wemmbu's hips tightly as he cums deep into the condom inside of Wemmbu.

Wemmbu whines at the same sensation he felt before—starting to get jealous of the condom for getting all of Egg's load while he feels starved of the hot cum from the seraphim.

"Egg—ah please...I want your cum...please give me your cum.." Wemmbu wraps his legs around Egg's hips—forbiding him from pulling his cock out to grab another condom. "Wemmbu, if you don't let me release me cock—I will continue fucking you with the same condom and I'll count it as one." Egg threatens—scaring Wemmbu and making the demon release the hold from his legs around the seraphim.

While Egg was busy with tying the condom tightly—Wemmbu takes this chance to remove his hairpin, using the sharp side to poke some holes into the few remaining packets of condoms—hoping that he could finally feel the seraphim's hot cum, even if it's just a little.

However, this action didn't get unseen by Egg—the seraphim had eyes all around, Wemmbu's little dirty trick would be his greatest mistake anyways—he just needed to act clueless.

Once Egg had finished tossing the used condom, he grabbed another packet—knowing that it had been poked full of holes from the demon, but that wasn't his concern—it was what came after.

He followed his usual practice, wrapping the condom around his cock and slowly entering Wemmbu's pussy—the hole still feeling so tight, as if he was never fucked to begin with.

The seraphim turned Wemmbu's body around—making him rest against the table on his stomach. Filling him up with his thick cock as he breathed a sigh of relief once he was fully seathed inside Wemmbu's tight heat.

"I'm going to start moving now, okay?" Egg notifies Wemmbu, before he start snapping his hips into Wemmbu's pussy—the feeling of heat around his dick feeling so familiar but yet so foreign—as if it was their first time fucking. Small moans was released from Wemmbu's mouth with every thrust that Egg makes, face heating up from the lewd noises coming out of him.

Wemmbu's face was bright red but he was smirking—knowing that when Egg finally ejaculates inside of Wemmbu, he would finally experience the seraphim's hot load again—the thought making him smile like a little kid.

Egg moves one of his hand and wraps it around the back of Wemmbu's neck, bending down to whisper inside of his ear while still thrusting inside of the demon.

"Wemmbu you feel so good—so good for me yeah—hngh—after I finish the condom maybe I'll let you experience my cum inside of you" Egg whispers inside of Wemmbu's ear. But the demon doesn't care, he knows that he would get Egg's cum in this round. Then he'll make an amazing escape plan if the seraphim ever punishes him—pushing away the previous incident where he soiled himself all over Egg's pants fabric.

He could feel Egg nearing his climax—considering that he hasn't came yet, the seraphim was going to experience an early orgasm in this round—but that's okay, as long as Wemmbu was able to feel Egg's hot load again, he doesn't care if he was watched by a thousand people while getting fucked—okay maybe not that, but he would do anything.

The seraphim ejaculates his load deep into Wemmbu with a soft grunt escaping his lips, the cum slowly leaking out of the condom from Wemmbu's expert trickery on poking holes—the cum leaking deep inside his womb, and that was when Wemmbu had felt the happiest—the hot sum sloshing around his belly while some of it leaked outside.

Feigning confusion, Egg pulled his cock out of Wemmbu, noticing that the condom was empty with some of it leaking through unnoticeable holes. The seraphim smirks and removes the condom—instead bending down to whisper into Wemmbu's ear.

"I know you poked holes in the rubber."

The news from the seraphim made Wemmbu's blood run cold—how does he know everything??!! He double checked to see if Egg was watching him or if the holes were too noticable! Now he was super fucked instead of super excited.

Wemmbu knew that a punishment was waiting for him in a few seconds—so he took this moment to reach for his pants just to be manhandles by the seraphim and thrown over his shoulder—like a rice sack.

"Egg—hey! Let me—down!!" Wemmbu struggles around Egg's hold, arms and legs moving around frantically until he realized how fucked he was.

Egg opened the curtains revealing a huge window—open for anyone especially him to see through. He pushed Wemmbu's body on the glass—spreading the demons legs to push his cock inside. "Wemmbu I though you would be good for me—as expected, you really were a lost cause." Egg scolded—burying his cock inside Wemmbu to the hilt, tip of the cock breaching Wemmbu's cervix and entering his womb.

Tears flowed down Wemmbu's eyes—not expecting to hear the same insult left by his mentor to fall from his lovers mouth. The same insult used in two different ways. While he was busy sobbing over the insult, Egg was focused on pumping Wemmbu deep with his come—since the demon wanted it so much.

He was slightly glad that the glass was half tinted—not being able to be seen very obviously but if anyone stared hard enough, they would notice the demon being speared on the seraphim's cock.

Egg noticed Wemmbu's distress—maybe the insult was too harsh on him, since he did go through many phases to get rid of the hurt and impact of the words.

Egg turned Wemmbu around, shutting the blinds immediately and resting the demons head onto his shoulder.

"I'm sorry Wemmbu—i didn't mean to hurt you like that, you aren't a lost cause, you never were. You're my last hope, and I never want to see you cry over this—unless your crying from my cock." Egg comforts, throwing in a small joke and wrapping one of his palm around the back of Wemmbu's head, placing small pats in hopes of making the demon feel better.

Wemmbu lifts his head up slightly, making eye contact with Egg. "Are you sure..." The demon questions, unsure of whether the seraphim was speaking the truth. "When do I lie, especially to you Wemm" Egg hugs Wemmbu tightly, moving the demon back to the office table and fucking into him—making the table move slightly from the force of his thrusts.

Just as Wemmbu was about to reach an orgasm—the sound of an elevator door opening shocks the both of them, We,mbu scrambles to hide but Egg finds this as a perfect opportunity and slams Wemmbu down on the table—pussy fully exposed to everyone while Egg's dick was deeply seathed inside.

The elevator doors open, revealing the same assistant that helped Egg earlier—pure shock written all over his face as he watched Egg fuck deeply into Wemmbu—the demon trying his best to muffle his moans by biting on his lip—drawing blood from the amount of pressure he was putting.

"S—sir..I have some uhh—papers you need to sign" The assistant notifies, stuttering over his words as his eyes glance between Egg and Wemmbu dirty fucking on the office table—with all of the papers scattered around the table.

"Haah—just leave it there—I'll take care of it later" Egg points towards the spot next to him and Wemmbu, bringing his hand down to rub against Wemmbu's clit—making the demon moan loudly.

"HNGH!—" Wemmbu squirts all over Egg's cock. The assistant staring that Wemmbu reaching his climax while their whole face turns red—he scrambles to exit the office, probably to rub one out or tell others about what he had just seen. But that wasn't his problem—since he was also nearing a climax.

Egg grunts deeply before cumming into Wemmbu's womb, hot cum filling Wemmbu's insides while the demon below him let's out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Can—I-ah—leave now?" The demon questions, already moving to remove himself from Egg's dick—just to be interrupted by the seraphim thrusting deep into Wemmbu once again.

"We're not stopping until I get you pregnant"

Oh fuck.

Notes:

Hi I have a Twitter/X....: K1nkinches

Please do tell me if there's any spelling or grammar mistakes!

Feel free to ask for oomfs with me, sometimes I don't get the message but I love being oomfs (⸝⸝ᵒ̴̶̷̤ꇴᵒ̴̶̷̤⸝⸝)

5+1 imperial fire fic full of smut... Hmmmm...