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GET DOWN TO BUSINESS AND START DOING SLAVERY

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You’ve finally made it.  You’re going to be the head of the motherfucking threshecutioners, answering directly to Her Imperious Condescension.  You never thought you’d get to live out your wrigglerhood dream and yet here you are.  The Empress promised if you were good and did what she said she’d give you the uniform and everything, and doing what she says feels so amazing, how could you ever not?   It’s greedy of you to notice, but she always looks at you like she wants you, like you’re something special she can’t keep her hands off.  And why would she ever keep her hands off?  You’re hers, body and soul, and it’s all you’ve ever wanted and more.

At the moment she’s splayed out in a monumental heap of pillows and cushions and her own long, long hair, explaining the next step in rebuilding the Empire.  You wriggle and do your best to keep quiet in her lap, naked, your nook packed full to burst with several tendrils of her bulge.

...An’ once we get the broodin’ caverns up an’ runnin’ we can start drawin’ up plans for mah new flagship.

The Empress bumps her hips to make sure you’re paying attention.  You bite back a yelp and nod.  So far she’s only had to pinch your grubscars a couple times, when you interrupted her schemes with an involuntary chirp or whine, and you could not be any prouder.

All we gotta do is find those gutterbloods out in the furthest ring and BAM, brand new helm all ready to go.   She cackles, sending vibrations up through your shameglobes.   String ‘em up next to each other…  Oh an’ maybe leave ‘em one frond on the right an’ left so they can hold hands!  Cod they’ll be so glubbin’ CUT-----E!

Like breaking the surface of a bottomless, inky black lake, you gasp for air.  She’s talking about Sollux and Aradia.  She’s talking about helming your friends and you’re squirming on the end of her huge bulge like nothing’s the matter.  It’s wrong.  It’s all wrong.  It hurts.

Aw shell no, don’t you start this shit again, buoy. 

Her hair crashes over you like a wave, grabbing you before you can start thrashing.

)(---EY, BEACH! she shouts. Shimmy yo wide bass in here an’ calm this bottom feeda down!

The beach with the wide bass is Kanaya, who comes in dressed in nothing but a silk sarong.  Smiling like nothing’s wrong.  She’s alive, and for a second you feel the tiniest bit better.  But then, if the Empress brought her back for the same reason as you, that means-

No Doubt You Will Have As Much Trouble Accepting This As Any Other Time Ive Said It - no, no no please no, she’s sitting on the Empress’ other thigh across from you, no don’t- But Please Trust Me Karkat When I Say Everything Will Be Fine

KANAYA, FUCK, GET OUT NOW, I’LL TRY AND KEEP HER OCCUPIED, JUST-

The Condesce stuffs a long, bejeweled finger in your mouth.  Her claw presses against your soft palate, threatening to give you a throatful of your own blood if you don’t clam up, mutie.   You look up at her, nook dripping, eyes wide with fear.

Now I know you two are anglin’ fo’ diamonds, so since I’m ‘eelin’ nice I’ma make shore yo nooks don’t touch.  Her other hand goes to Kanaya’s hip, pulls her toward you.  Not yet, anemoneway.

Kanaya presses a distinctly pale kiss to your cheek, even as her bulge tangles with yours.  She squeezes your hand and coos softly as one of the Condesce’s brine-chilly bulges oozes inside her sucker by sucker.  You try and fail not to scream around the finger in your throat.

Listen to your morayeel, grub.   Her Imperious Condescension places her other enormous hand on the back of your neck.   Just trust yo Empress an’ everyfin’s gonna be all ray-ght.   You feel a presence rush toward you inside your head.

The Condesce’s personal horrorterror feels amazing.  Kanaya’s gorgeous jade tentacle squeezes your stubby red slug of a bulge and there’s nothing wrong with it at all.  Your Empress removes her finger and you follow it with your mouth.  She laughs, huge and powerful and comforting.

Mmmm, threshie an’ mother glub on mah bulge.

...Oh Empress

For a moment, you thought Kanaya looked terrified.

You don’t know why.

Chapter Text

Karkat rolls over in his sleep, hyperventilating and clutching at nothing, blunt claws making little divots in the skin of his palms.  As much as you hate to see him in distress it’s a small comfort because you know when you see it that he’s himself.  He never cries or shrieks or even raises his voice when she’s in his head, no matter how badly she hurts him.  But then, she’s never in his head when she hurts him.

Not when she makes you watch, anyway.

You fold an arm around him and shoosh, buzzing as insistently as you can without waking him.  As awful as whatever he’s dreaming is, it might still be better than what he has to wake up to.  He doesn’t stop, but he at least grabs onto you instead of tearing up his hands.  With your free hand you tug a thick bolt of dark cloth up to cover you both, blocking out everything save your own soft glow.  You miss the sun.

Calling the heap you’re nestled in the ‘fabric pile’ is, at this point, just a wrigglerish affectation on your part.  You haven’t bothered to design anything in so, so long.  Or grow, or draw or paint.  Your beloved Empress doesn’t care about beautiful things if they don’t sparkle and she can’t stick her bulge in them.  It’s just another part of yourself you’ll hold onto as long as possible, until she takes it away.

Someday she’s going to take one of you away.  She’s going to get worked up and forget to be careful with her toys and do something she can’t fix.  Once you were bright and strong and clever, carving up your problems with a ragripper and a cutting word (it’s nice to pretend so, anyway).  Now you cower in your pile with your moirail and wonder who Her Imperious Condescension will accidentally kill first.  If you’d rather it be you or him.

Karkat whispered to you before crying himself to sleep that she said she could bring back Terezi.  That if he learned to bewave yoar-shellf shoal I don’t gotta keep shuckin’ with yo thinkpan all the coddamn time she’d reward him for being such a good little threshie.  You wondered quietly she could also bring back Rose too, then immediately felt sick with guilt.  No, you can’t want to bring your matesprit back to this (but she would know what to do), to watch you grovel and beg for the Empress’ bulge while she puppets you (but you miss her).

You close your eyes and huff, trying to regain what little composure is left to you.  The Condesce is lying or deranged, driven mad by sweeps alone in the dark between the stars.  She can’t bring anyone else back, otherwise she wouldn’t just be torturing the two of you.  No matter what she says about having a way to restore Alternia without a matriorb.  No matter how she calls you motherglub when she fucks you.  No matter what Porrim hinted at fearfully the last time you spoke to her, about the real fate of jades on Beforus.

Karkat stops squirming, daymares apparently subsided for now.  You wish the Empress would let you have sopor.  You wish everyone else was still alive.

You squeeze your moirail and try to get some sleep, before Her Imperious Condescension, Long May She Reign comes looking for you again.

Chapter Text

Something’s up in the furthest ring.  People are ghosts who shouldn’t be ghosts.  Timelines that shouldn’t exist are springing up, branching off and being extinguished.  Things are most assuredly not alright with the alpha.  Luckily, you know just who to ask what’s going on!  All you have to do is pinpoint a time where he’s dreaming in the bubbles, and-

hey karkat!

and already you know something’s up, he was never this jumpy.

ARADIA, FUCK I DON’T KNOW HOW LONG I’VE GOT, LISTEN-

He goes quiet, looking absolutely sick with worry and guilt.  A second later and you figure out why, Sollux stumbles into you from behind.

KK what’s g0ing 0n?

Sollux peers around you with empty eye sockets, the reflex not completely gone with his sight.

y0u’re supp0sed t0 be giving me a headache with y0ur screaming, n0t standing there in merciful silence.

SHIT, OKAY THIS HAS TO BE THE LAST TIME I SEE YOU.  SHE’S GOING TO MAKE ME TELL HER WHERE YOU ARE AT SOME POINT AND YOU CANNOT LET THAT FUCKING HAPPEN.

who’s going to make you tell her?  You have an idea.

THE FUCKING EMPRESS!  SHE’S GOT KANAYA AND ME, WE’RE THE ONLY ONES LEFT, AND SHE’S INSIDE OUR HEADS HALF THE TIME, AND SHE…

He pauses.  Like there’s something else he just thought better about telling you.  You have an idea about that too.

SHE WANTS TO HELM BOTH OF YOU.

ehehe, Sollux giggles. she’s welc0me t0 try.

CAN YOU DO ME THE COURTESY OF TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY, YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING DISASTER?

i d0n’t know, what if i can’t?

THEN I GUESS YOU HAVE IT COMING, AND I CAN GO BACK TO TAKING TRULY UNPRECEDENTED AMOUNTS OF TYRIAN BULGE INTO MY BODY, SECURE IN THE KNOWLEDGE THAT MY BEST FRIEND IS GETTING EXACTLY WHAT HE DESERVES FOR THE NEXT THOUSAND SWEEPS!

h0t.

Karkat bites the sleeve of his sweater and screams in frustration.

0k i was w0rried f0r a sec0nd s0mething was actually wr0ng but that’s at least a familiar s0und.

shoosh you.  nobodys helming us karkat

OH PLEASE, PLEASE TELL ME YOU HAVE A PLAN.  PLEASE TELL ME THERE’S A WAY OUT OF THIS BESIDES THE OBVIOUS THAT I’M NOT SEEING.

well not exactly. but we do know the bubbles way better than she ever will.   Behind you, Sollux presses his face into your hair.  and if worst comes to worst she cant helm us if were dead 0u0

CAN WE PLEASE NOT TALK ABOUT YOU OFFING YOURSELVES TO ESCAPE AN UNENVIABLE SITUATION?   He presses two fingers to his forehead in a familiar gesture of nervous exasperation.   FAR BE IT FOR ME TO DICTATE WHO GETS TO KILL THEMSELVES WHEN, WHERE AND HOW, BUT AT THE MOMENT IT HITS JUST THE TINIEST BIT TOO CLOSE TO HIVE.

0h… are y0u and KN thinking ab0ut it? 

PLEASE FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE ACCEPT THAT I MEAN WHAT I SAY WHEN I SAY ‘I DON’T WANT TO FUCKING TALK ABOUT IT’

0k because i w0uldn’t mind seeing her again either.

YEAH, I MISSED YOU TOO ASSHOLE.

0f c0urse y0u did, as a functi0n 0f me being the greatest and y0u being a needy 0verexcited wriggler as usual.

You let them squabble for a little longer before drawing the both of them into your favorite memory of your hive, settling them on the couch with you amid gently chiming music boxes and the excited squeaking of your lusus.  Three mugs of tea later and they've gone from screaming back to just needling one another like they used to.  It’s a bit pale, but if anyone asks you’ll play it like the third lobe of an ashen intervention.  The last thing Karkat needs is to worry that he’s GETTING SOME ON THE SIDE illicitly. 

You tell him that Jade and John and Terezi and Dave and everyone else are here, and they’re doing fine.

i bet i can find them before you wake up if you want to talk with them

ARE YOU ACTUALLY ASKING ME OR ARE YOU GOING TO DO IT ANYWAY REGARDLESS OF WHAT I SAY?

actually asking 0x0

THEN NO, THAT’S THE ABSOLUTE LAST THING I WANT RIGHT NOW.  JUST- JUST TELL THEM I’M SORRY, ALRIGHT?

for what?

FOR GETTING THEM ALL KILLED IN THE MOST HORRIBLE FASHION POSSIBLE, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK?

yes KK it was all y0ur idea, n0ne 0f them w0uld have ever th0ught to fight the Empress with0ut y0ur say s0.  y0u were the deciding fact0r in all 0f it.   Sollux yawns.   have y0u ever tried n0t being s0 self imp0rtant?

HAVE YOU EVER TRIED CHOKING TO DEATH ON A MOUTHFUL OF WILDLY FLAGELLATING GENITALS?

00h, am I ab0ut t0?

youre about to stop being such a wriggler unless you want me to kick you right out of this bubble!

Sollux sticks his tongue out.  You give it a psychic zap and he recoils, giggling.

Karkat tells you he can’t always tell when the Empress is in his head.  That he’s worried it’ll start to bleed over until she doesn’t need to control his mind anymore.

w0w KK i can’t imagine what it must be like w0rrying that y0u’ll d0 a bad thing because s0me bitch mind c0ntr0lled you.

Your sometimes diamond, sometimes heart is thoroughly unhelpful.  Karkat finds bickering with him familiar and comforting, much more than your lusus climbing his shoulders and demanding her nose scratched.

He tells you about the INORDINATE AMOUNT OF TIME I SPEND WITH THE EMPRESS’ BULGE INSIDE ME, acting like it’s just another float in the parade of nightly annoyances he’s spent his whole life watching crawl by at a glacial pace.

WHATEVER, I DON’T KNOW WHAT I EXPECTED.  YOU DON’T GROW UP A GUTTERBLOOD WITHOUT EXPECTING TO BUY YOUR LIFE WITH YOUR NOOK A FEW TIMES.   He stops, like he’s worried he’ll offend you, and that Karkat of all people is worried about that tells you how bad it is.   WELL, MAYBE YOU DID, WHAT WITH YOU ACTUALLY BEING USEFUL AND HAVING DEMONSTRABLE SOCIAL VALUE, AS OPPOSED TO YOUR WHOLE MISERABLE EXISTENCE LEADING UP TO-

You bump horns with him.  You can’t help it, and the way he tries to hide his face in his sweater makes you want to do it again, so you do.  Sollux joins in because he’s always up f0r making KK blush and the two of you end up wrapped around him while he continues venting.  Ok, so it’s more than a little pale, but you promise to find Kanaya and give her the same treatment next, and he actually laughs.

DON’T LET HER LEAVE WITHOUT DRINKING SOMETHING.  SHE WON’T SAY IT BUT SHE’S ALWAYS HUNGRY NOW BECAUSE I CAN’T MAKE ENOUGH STUPID MUTANT BLOOD FOR BOTH OF US, AND LIKE HELL IF THE EMPRESS IS GOING TO LET ANYONE BITE HER.

ehehe i t0tally w0uld if i had any teeth

yes sir!  You mock salute.  any other orders mister fearless leader?  ill warn you right now youre going to wake up soon

FUCK.  Karkat bristles.   I KNOW I’M AN ABSOLUTE FUCKING BUCKET KICKER FOR THIS BUT I REALLY, REALLY DON’T WANT TO GO BACK.

Your lusus squeaks for attention and worms her way in between Karkat and Sollux.

well i wont tell you everything will be ok-

THANK YOU FOR THAT SMALL MERCY

-but well all be here when youre done

You don’t tell him there might not be bubbles left to return to, but you’re pretty sure he already knows.  He had that whole ghost army thing with Meenah that never went anywhere, and the situation hasn’t exactly improved.

i kn0w you said you can’t but c0me back s00n 0k?

I DON’T KNOW THAT I’LL HAVE A CHOICE, BUT

And with that he’s gone.

Chapter Text

The Empress did make good on her promise to bring somebody else back. It wasn’t Terezi or Rose, or Dave. You think privately that she might not have resurrected anybody. That the latest addition to her menagerie might have just been alive this whole time, waiting in the wings to help her torment you.

You’re hiding in a garment cranny, re-reading one of your books by your own glow for the hundred-thousandth time, when a flash of neon green light translocates you. It’s a Space player effect you should be expecting by now, but it still surprises you. You should also have expected what you see in front of you, but it still hurts you a little.

Karkat is wearing nothing but a collar and the usual stressed, frustrated expression he gets when someone puts an oversize bulge inside him. Jade is fucking him, dog cock firmly knotted into him from behind. She’s balanced on her knees, one hand on his leash and the other on her butt, and her cloud of hair is plastered to her back with sweat. The knot and the size of her dick don’t give her much room to move. She has to settle for pumping her hips, pushing and pulling Karkat with her as he winces and groans the whole way. She isn’t as big as the Empress, but her cock is stiffer and entirely the wrong shape, making it perhaps even more unpleasant for your moirail.

Her ears flick and she perks up at your arrival.

kanaya! She barks excitedly,  lick my balls!

No

come onnnnnn!!

DON’T GIVE HER THE -NNGH- SATISFACTION

do it or i’ll make karkat do it!

You cross your arms. That Strikes Me As Improbable Given Your Current Positions

oh yeah? watch this

Jade raises a hand and Karkat’s head disappears into a neon green portal around his neck, reemerging between her legs. Perfectly placed to cradle her doggy balls with his mouth. You probably should have expected this too.

OH COME ON!

i’ll come on your face , unless kanaya gets down there!

BULLSHIT. WE BOTH KNOW YOU’LL COME ON MY FACE NO MATTER WHAT SHE- ACK! Jade yiffs him, slapping him in the face with her balls.

You could turn around and leave and she’d teleport you back. And even if she didn’t, that would leave Karkat to soak up double the sexual aggression. You could try to get him out, try to fight back. Maybe the Empress wouldn’t care, or maybe she’d take it out on you, or Karkat (or more likely both of you, one at a time with the other watching).

Will You At Least Be Kind Enough To Reverse Your Positions So I Am Not Struck In The Face By The Very Shame Globes I Am So Magnanimously Servicing

nope!

You huff. For a second, you convinced yourself you had a choice here.

You wore lipstick today. You felt like dressing up, spending energy you rarely have anymore on your appearance. Sometimes the Empress snaps at you to take better care of yourself, when her enormous hand catches on a mat in your hair. But she never remembers to do anything about it, and doesn’t really care one way or the other. You did it for you.

So you have nobody to blame but yourself when your jade lipstick smears all over Jade’s balls. You swirl your long, gray tongue around them, tasting sweat and the pale red lubricant that Karkat’s overstuffed nook has leaked down Jade’s doggy shaft. The knot makes for a tight fit, but you still get the occasional dribble or squirt in your hair when Jade moves her hips. You remember when the taste of Karkat’s slurry revolted you, when the idea of your mouth on your moirail’s genitals made you want to puke. Now you struggle to feel anything but irritated resignation.

Jade humps. Her balls drag across your face, forcing you to slide after them. Karkat lurches and wheezes in pain. Your head is tilted back to keep your horns from scraping Karkat's belly, baring your throat. The second most humiliating thing about this experience.

You could bite down. Neuter the bitch and fill your mouth with life giving blood, finally someone’s besides Karkat. You’re so thirsty , and you want to hurt this woman so badly . You don’t doubt for a second she’d kill you. Give you a way out. But the Empress might just bring you back from that. And even if she couldn’t, you’d still be leaving Karkat all alone. If you go out, it needs to be together. One of your hands is busy fondling Jade’s nuts as you slurp them. The other goes up above you, to find Karkat’s. He squeezes. He might be the one stuffed to burst with cock, but you’re the one in need of comforting. You wish you were as tough as him. You also wish you didn’t have a mouthful of dog balls.

oh fuck, oh fuck! The scrote in your mouth tightens up. You gurgle a curse in relief. At least this leg of the ordeal is soon to be over. take it, bitch! AWOOOOOOO!!!

There’s a wet, squelching sound, a flash of green, and you hear Karkat sputtering and coughing. Jade couldn’t decide between a creampie and a facial, so she tossed a portal at the entrance of your moirail’s genebladder and gave him the worst of both worlds. He swears and grumbles and paws around for something to wipe his face. You scoot out from under Jade, role in this sordid encounter hopefully complete. You’ve got fur in the back of your throat.

Karkat is still bent forward, nook full of Jade. They’ll be stuck together until she goes flaccid or teleports away. Tired of holding herself up on her knees, she slumps forward and puts her weight on him, waggling her ears and sighing happily. Karkat swears again, pinned just short of reaching for a pair of discarded underwear. You frown and procure a more suitable cloth to wipe his face. Jade doesn’t cum half as much as the empress, but she makes it count. You press a palm to his cheek as you wipe his vision clear. He scrunches his eyes and blinks at you. Rasps out in a whisper.

YOU OKAY?

I Am The One Who Should Be Asking You The Same Thing

WELL YOU AREN’T, AND YOU DIDN’T ANSWER ME, SO-

I Would Very Much Appreciate If We Could Save This Conversation For Later

He grimaces, unclenching his fists. YEAH, OKAY

The dog-Witch’s ears twitch. She opens her eyes and looks at you, lounging atop Karkat.

hey kanaya

You ignore Jade.

kanayaaaaaa

You ignore Jade.

clean me!

Absolutely Not

you know what’ll happen if you don’t ;)

You Are More Than Capable Of Cleaning Yourself So I Suggest That You-

You knew a little about Jade before she ended up like this. She made music and programmed robots. She was a nuclear physicist. Now she seems to have trouble forming thoughts that don’t involve her bulge. You think the Empress might have hurt her worst of anyone. It isn’t Jade doing this. You shouldn’t want to hurt her. Shouldn’t even care at this point.

But when she cuts you off by opening a portal in your mouth and shoving her still-sticky dick down your throat, you see green. Your scream of rage is reduced to an agonized gargling by the cock in your mouth. You bite down instinctively but she put the portal behind your teeth, there’s nothing you can do. You’re going to kill her, you’re going to rip her limb from limb-

Karkat’s hand is on your face. He’s purring desperately, despite the situation, making every soothing sound he can. He knows what you’re about to do and he wants to calm you down before you get killed. He’s scared you’ll die and leave him alone. Even now he’s still the strong one. He thumbs away a tear and buzzes louder. You drool and gag and try not to embarrass yourself as Jade leisurely cleans her dick on your tongue and tonsils. Thankfully, she seems satisfied with humiliating you and doesn’t decide to go for a second round in your mouth. She slides her dick out and closes the portal, freeing your airway.

You cough, wipe the drool from your mouth. Look at your moirail, without looking at Jade. This is a bad idea, but you have to say something or you’ll go insane right here.

Karkat Dearest Perhaps You Can Render Me Some Assistance

SURE?

For A Moment There It Seemed I Had Swallowed A Pine Needle Or Perhaps A Particularly Undersized Noodle

Jade sticks her tongue out at you and disappears in a flash of green. Doesn’t try to hurt you further. Having got what she wanted, she apparently has no further use for you. Karkat exhales sharply, no longer stuck to her. Hyperventilates briefly, like he’s about to have a panic attack. Swallows it down.

Karkat I Am Sorry I Almost-

NO I’M SORRY, ALRIGHT? I DON’T KNOW IF MAYBE IT WAS SOMETHING I SAID THAT SHE THOUGHT SHE HAD TO DRAG YOU INTO THIS, BUT THIS SHIT IS PRETTY OBVIOUSLY MY FAULT AND I-

No It Is Not Your Fault

THAT’S DEFINITELY AN- OK YOU KNOW WHAT? I’M GOING TO QUIT WHILE I’M AHEAD AND SUGGEST WE EMBRACE YOUR PREVIOUSLY STATED MASTER PLAN TO NOT TALK ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW

Mmm

You take the collar off him. It left bruises and cut his neck in places, but didn’t seriously hurt him. His nook is gaping and bruised, but Jade didn’t do any real damage. Both of you routinely survive worse. He still winces when you help him up. Walks bowlegged.

You know from experience how this will go. You’re going to share a long shower and scrub every inch of your bodies with very hot water and the strongest soap that won’t melt your skin. You’re also going to gargle mouthwash and possibly saline solution, although you’d drink bleach if you could. You’re going to think about feeding, because it’s been a long time and you’re very hungry, and Karkat might even be up for it before he goes to sleep. You’ll defer until another time, because your mouth will still taste like Jade’s genitals despite your best efforts to the contrary. You’ll throw together a pile and consider a jam, but both of you will be too tired to unburden yourself. And it would have just been shit you’ve both already said anyway, and it would just make you more miserable in the end. You’ll conserve your energy and enjoy the respite offered to you before the pattern begins all over again.