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It isn’t something Will thinks about.
Not like, actively.
But occasionally he’ll have a what the fuck am I doing moment? Like today Will passes by the fucking ‘baby’ aisle in Target, and he thinks about Mack, and then he stops. Like, just stops and stares into fucking space. Wonder if it’s too late for therapy or a lobotomy.
Will Smith is a fucking decorated hockey player. A World Champion. A shining star of BC.
And apparently…he’s also the proud Dada, big brother and codependent boybestfriend to one Macklin Celebrini. He’s whatever Mack needs him to be. Because Mack has a lot of emotions and moods and needs. He needs and needs and needs. And what does Will do? He gives and gives and gives.
It’s awful and horrible and the best relationship that Will’s ever had in his whole life.
Because with Gabe and Leno, they’re close, yes, but close in a way that’s never crossed the line. The line between bro and…something else. True, Will used to cuddle with both of them, but no, no they had never slept so close together that it felt like they were going to merge. Leno got hard against him once and both of them had rolled away, chests heaving. Will sleeps with Mack curled on his chest or with Mack curled up around him. Mack likes to hold Will like he’s his favorite stuffed animal, like letting go of Will for one second will hurt him somehow. And if Mack wakes up hard against him, he holds Will by the hips and he thrusts sloppily into him, entitled and greedy to cum against the curve of Will’s ass. And Will finishes just like that, untouched, feels his hole seizing as he longs to be…
Fucked.
Will is so, so fucked.
“So are you guys doing it or what?” Leno had once slurred after one too many beers, and Will had just given him a dismissive look and thought ‘or what.’
Because it would be so much less embarrassing to tell his friends— “I’ve been letting Mack Celebrini hit it raw.”
Raw, primal sex? That’s something men like Leno understand. They get feral desperation and slicked-up holes and cumming. Even Gabe would get it if Will just said something like “yeah me and Mack we swap spit and jack one another off.” If only, if only it had been something as simple and innocuous as “I have gay sex with my best friend.”
But no.
No, it’s something much, much worse.
It’s Will turning on his heels and walking down the baby aisle in Target with his cheeks flushed an incriminating red. Like, bright red. And then he sees a pacifier that’s teal-colored and he stands there like a man possessed.
Like a…god, like he’s some internet pervert, not the pride and joy of his mother Colleen Smith.
Will has to remember how to breathe as he picks up the pacifier. His chest feels tight. Will looks around, relieved that the aisle is empty; no one here to witness the fall of BC’s all-American champion, Will Smith fucking Hockey.
Because it’s not just a Mack-thing, Will thinks miserably as he picks up the pacifier and turns it over. Contemplating how a piece of plastic can have the blood rushing where it shouldn’t be rushing.
Weird,weird,weird.
Will shifts his weight, tries to remember how to breathe as he imagines Mack’s lips wrapped around the plastic nipple. He’s throbbing hard in his shorts, something sick inside of him twisting as he tenderly runs his fingers over the pacifier.
Will might be the first in his bloodline to ask himself— why do I get hard imagining my boybestfriend sucking on a pacifier?
Then he throws it in his red basket, tries not to think about it as he keeps casually walking down the aisle. He has to resist the urge to buy Mack other things. Unfortunately, Mack is Will’s weakness.
Macky would like a rabbit, Will thinks before he can stop himself, but he can’t justify two weird purchases in one trip…can he? He looks over at the grey rabbit. It’s fluffy. With a cute, pink nose. Then his traitorous brain conjures the image of Mack with the stuffie to his chest, teal pacifier going in an out of his lips. Oh my god, so cute, so cute.
Will throws the stupid stuffed rabbit in his basket before he can overthink it. Whatever. They can afford it.
Will goes to the self-checkout to buy the pacifier and stuffed animal with the heart rate of somebody buying drugs.
Mack’s texts pop up as Will’s Apple paying.
‘Heyyyy’ -M
‘Can we do pizza for dinner?’ -M
Will walks to his car and glances over his shoulder, feeling like someone’s going to come and stop him, tackle him to the ground, and call him a ‘pervert.’ He feels like there’s a fucking sign on his forehead that says ‘I just bought my best friend a pacifier and stuffed animal and got turned on about it.’
‘Nah, we did pizza last night’ -W
‘Oh yeah’ -M
‘I don’t want leftovers tho :(‘ -M
Will settles into the car and types out— ‘I can make some Mac and Cheese for you, baby?’
Will erases the ‘baby.’ They don’t do that over text. Too much evidence. He changes the ‘for you’ to ‘for us.’ He sends it like that. Sanitized.
‘We’re out I think?’ -M
‘Got some more at Target’ -W
And they’re the ones you like, Will thinks but stops himself from writing that because it feels too much like a confession, feels like they’re married lesbians and not boys in their twenties. As if Will wakes up and his first thought is Mack and goes to sleep and his last thought is Mack, and when he’s sleeping, his body is searching for Mack’s in the dark, looking for the familiar weight, for those big, possessive hands wrapped around him.
‘Siiiiick love the Target ones!’ -M
I know, Will thinks, that’s why I got them. For you.
‘Yeah, no worries’ -W
‘Thanks, can’t wait :)’ -M
If anyone read these messages, they’d suspect nothing. Might even think they’re normal about one another.
They haven’t been normal since Mack slipped his thumb into his mouth and Will encouraged it. Worse, Will didn’t just encourage it; he got turned on by it. Will had been pulsing in his jeans as he’d watched Macklin Celebrini, prodigy superstar and heir apparent of Sidney Crosby, slobbering all over his thumb like a little baby.
And maybe it could have been saved if Will was imagining that thumb was his dick, but he wasn’t. He really wasn’t. He’d just been staring, salivating, thinking— so cute, good, Macky’s so fucking cute.
Will presses his head against the steering wheel, waits for his heart to stop rabbiting, waits for his pulse to return to a normal crawl, waits for his dick to stop throbbing. He needs to be normal about this, needs to be normal about Mack.
Normal, yeah we can’t be normal about one another, Will snorts as he rests his head against his steering wheel.
Will pulls their messages back up and scrolls up, looking at old Tik Toks he sent Mack, directions to a cafe, memories of them that came up on his Snapchat that he’d screenshotted for them to share.
Sure, just two normal boys. Roommates. Teammates. Best friends. There’s nothing to suggest that anything else is going on. Because cute as Mack looks sucking his thumb or curled up on his chest, Will would never risk having that on his phone.
So Will’s just sitting there, staring at Mack’s messages like an actual psycho ex-girlfriend when he sees three little dots to indicate that Mack’s typing—
‘Why u just sitting there lol?’ -M
Will laughs on an exhale, bites his bottom lip as he chirps Mack.
‘Stalking me, weirdo?’ -W
‘I’m hungry,’ Mack replies and Will’s stomach knots with something anxious, just a touch horny because Mack’s reply sounds almost like it’s Will that he’s hungry for.
God, Will sighs as he looks over at the cardboard Target bag in his passenger seat, and shifts against the leather seat of his Bronco as he thinks about the stupid stuffed rabbit and the pacifier. Why did he do that? Mack isn’t going to like that…is he? Will has no idea.
‘Impatient’ -W
‘Come home’ -M
Will feels his cock twitch with a need he can’t verbalize.
What is it, Will thinks as he looks down at his traitorous dick, wonders why he’s been pulsing since he turned into the ‘baby’ aisle.
Why can’t Will just be like a normal, closeted NHL dude? Why can’t he just be jerking it to porn videos on Sean Cody or something?
Will always knew he was attracted to men; he just never planned to do anything about it. He had been ready to accept his fate as a closeted-athlete and marry whatever blonde girl from the Church that his Mama decided was a suitable match. He wasn’t planning to become Macklin Celebrini’s full time caretaker. None of this was part of The Plan.
He reacts to Mack’s ‘come home’ message with a thumbs up, resisting the urge to ‘heart’ it.
Causal, sure, Will can do casual. He’s just a nonchalant dude with a bag full of baby stuff. Nothing to see here.
Will puts their apartment into the navigation, turns on some Bieber and tries to clear his brain, tries not to imagine Mack sucking on the pacifier and cuddling with the rabbit he bought him. God, they’re going to need a new fucking DSM-5 classification for whatever Will and Mack have going on.
He imagines telling some therapist and being diagnosed as a pervert on the spot.
“So you…like to watch him suck his thumb? While you coo at him that he’s your ‘good little boy?’ And then you rub off on one another. Uh huh, so how long has this been going on?”
And the therapist looks like his disappointed Mom, of course.
It didn’t start like this, Will defends himself against his imaginary Mom!therapist as he sharply turns towards their apartment.
I just…I always wanted a baby brother, and it’s not like, well, I wasn’t allowed to have a boyfriend growing up, so…
And then Mack came along and slipped into that little brother slash boyfriend shaped hole that Will has in his heart. The perfect fit, really.
Baby brother, Will had thought at first as he had driven Mack everywhere, bought him all the Starbucks he wanted, took care of him on and off the ice. Will’s pathological need to baby, to take care, to nurture, was met with the black-hole of neediness that was Macklin Celebrini, someone who wanted to be taken care of on a level that anyone else would cringe away from.
Everyone except Will, who found Mack’s tantrums adorable. Cracked window shield? So cute, so precious. Mack threw a cup after he lost a game? What a sweet little baby that just didn’t know how to control his emotions. Hole punched in the wall? Oh, Mack, come here; let me make it all better-
And the worst part is that Will found that the more he gave, the hungrier Mack was for Will's unconditional adoration.
Will never thought his infantilization of Mack would turn into…well, he should have seen it coming the night that Mack had word vomited-
“You’re going to be a great Dad one day.”
And Will had laughed, brain blanking, because all he could do was look down at Mack and think desperately, hungrily— you can be my baby.
It had only come too naturally, falling into this, kissing the pain from Mack’s forehead, brushing his hair back, spreading his thighs, anything in service of Mack’s needs.
Whatever you need, Will thinks the first time Mack rolls on top of him, fucking between his spread thighs, using Will to get off while he sucks his thumb wetly in Will’s ear.
I’ll be whatever you need. You need Dada? I can be Dada. You need big brother? I can be big brother. Best friend? Lover? Anything, Mack, whatever you need. That’s what I’ll be.
“Baby,” Will had sighed against Mack’s soft hair, hand curled around the nape of his neck, and wanted Mack inside him so badly it hurt.
Will pulls up at their apartment and just sits there wondering—
What the fuck am I doing?
Will isn’t delusional enough to hope that Mack is gay, even bisexual is a stretch. Will knows that this is a comfort-thing for Mack. It’ll never be the same for Mack as it is for Will.
He’s waiting for the day that Mack goes back to his casual Raya appointments. Then Mack will get a girlfriend who’ll baby him, move out, and Will submit to Mommy Colleen’s marriage plan like the Good Boy that he is.
Who cares if he doesn’t like girls?
All Will knows is that there’s nothing for him after Mack. It’s Mack or nothing. Mack or a life of faking it for whatever blonde-prop that his Mother has decided will Fix Him. Will can pretend. He’s sure. He’s a pretty good liar.
‘Hello???’ -M
‘Coming up.’ -W
But with Mack, Will does not have to pretend. He’s genuinely obsessed. Physically, emotionally, all of it.
He unlocks their apartment door with a pounding heart, and he’s met with the chest tightening sight of a sleepy Mack, who’s rubbing his eyes and looking up at Will through his furrowed brows. So cute. Will does a quick assessment of the shark pajama pants, grey comfort sweatshirt, and wet thumb that Mack’s trying to hide.
That’s not Macklin or Mack— that’s Macky.
“Hi, Macky,” Will says, and, judging by the big hug he receives, he’s right.
“You were gone a long time. Too long. Missed you, missed you, missed you,” Mack whines against his neck, just a touch bratty, and Will shivers at the feeling of Mack’s lips moving against his skin.
Mack deadweights against him and Will drops his Target bag to wrap his arms around Mack.
“Missed you too, bud.”
“Why- why didn’t you take me with you?”
“You were napping so nicely I wanted to let you sleep.”
Mack shakes his head and hugs Will tighter because they’re both insufferably clingy about one another— “Next time wake me up I wanna- wanna be with you. Always wanna be with you.”
“Okay, next time I’ll wake you up,” Will promises and gently rubs Mack’s back. This is the part Gabe and Leno wouldn’t understand. That it’s really not about the sex for them. It’s about this.
“And- and I had a bad dream and I woke up and you weren’t there to make it better and I was sad,” Mack continues, and he’s really laying on Will; Will’s biceps are bulging trying to support all of Mack’s body weight. God, sometimes he wishes Mack’s body got smaller too so he could pick him up and carry him in his arms like a baby.
Will sways, rocking them back and forth: “I’m sorry, next time I’ll wake you up. Promise. What happened in your bad dream?”
“We didn’t play hockey together anymore,” Mack says and rubs his face into Will’s shoulder, trying to soothe the pain of that.
“Why? Did I get traded?”
“No,” Mack sniffs like he’s going to cry. “Cause- cause you got eaten by a giant octopus! And I told you to stay away from it, but you didn’t listen to me, Will!”
Oh my god, so adorable.
Will has to bite his lip not to laugh as he keeps rubbing Mack’s back like this is a very serious problem that could happen: “I’ll stay away from any giant octopuses.”
“Promise?”
“Promise. We’re going to play hockey together for a long, long time.”
“Okay, yeah,” Mack sighs in relief and kisses Will’s shoulder, sagging against him as he allows himself to be comforted.
Will presses the back of his cool hand to Mack’s forehead, trying to see if he has a temperature. Always checking Mack over to see if he’s okay. Mack just runs hot, like a fucking furnace.
“I got you a present,” Will finally says after a minute of comfortable silence.
“What is it?”
“I’ll show you after we eat, baby,” Will decides as he guides Mack to the kitchen, taking the Target bag with them.
“Not a baby.”
“Sorry, no, you’re not. You’re a big boy,” Will agrees. Because Mack clearly has regressed to that toddler stage where it’s offensive to him that Will’s calling him a baby.
Mack is extra clingy now, sneaking his hands under Will’s shirt to hug him, leaning against him while Will calmly prepares them mac and cheese for an early dinner. He’s used to this. Mack likes to follow him around, especially after a nap.
They eat basically pressed together; Mack pushed his chair so close it’s like he wants to climb into Will’s lap. Probably does.
Mack wipes his mouth, looks up at him with cute green eyes: “Can I have my present now…please?”
“Can you put the dishes in the sink?”
“Okay! Then present?”
“Then present,” Will promises.
Mack cleans up and then takes the Target bag and hands it to Will. He stands there, waiting for permission. Will knows what he wants.
“Use your words,” Will instructs because Mack isn’t regressed enough that he’s nonverbal. Not yet.
“Please,” Mack says, cheeks burning, bouncing on the heels of his feet, impatient to climb up into Will’s lap and get his present.
“Please…who?”
Will’s curious, wonders if tonight Mack wants Dada or big brother. He does not mind playing either right now.
“Please….Dada.”
That’s what he’d suspected, especially since Mack is on his best behavior right now. He’s usually more of a brat if he wants to be taken care of by big brother. Mack wouldn’t dare to be anything but a Good Boy for Dada.
Will pats his lap: “Good using your words, Macky. You know I like it when you ask for what you need— come here, baby.”
“Not a baby,” Mack protests even as he obediently crawls up onto Will’s lap, trying desperately to shrink the bulk of his body so that he can be nice and small.
Will wraps his arms around Mack and kisses his red cheek: “Not a baby. My baby, right? Come on, tell me; are you my baby, Macky? Are you my little baby?”
And Mack’s giggling, scrunching up his neck, wiggling against Will’s broad chest and denying it—
“No, no, not a baby, not a baby. I’m a- I’m a big boy.”
And then right on cue Mack hiccups.
So cute, so fucking cute.
“Yeah?” Will teases, bouncing Mack on his lap as he hugs him nice and close. “Are you too big for presents then?”
“No, no, not too big for presents, Dada. Macky’s presents,” Mack says, and it sounds like with every bounce that he’s regressing into a younger state, starting to refer to himself in third person. He loves when Mack refers to himself like that. So adorable.
“Okay, since you been so good, I got you a present,” Will says and presents Mack with the big stuffed rabbit. He watches Mack’s eyes widen and sparkle. Will feels warm in a wholesome way.
“Stuffie! Dada got Macky a stuffie,” Mack says sweetly and turns to straddle him and wrap his arms around Will’s neck. “Thank you, Dada.”
“Anything for you,” Will says and presses kisses to Mack’s soft hair, rubs his back as he bounces him a little. And then Mack sits back and gazes at his new toy with big gleaming eyes.
“What are you going to call him?”
“Bunny. Macky’s bunny,” Mack says and hiccups, which isn’t that original but it is adorable and very Macky.
And Will almost chickens out of giving him the pacifier but when Mack works a thumb to his lips and squeezes the bunny to his chest, Will unceremoniously reaches into the bag and pulls out the teal pacifier. He presses it into Mack’s hand with a soft “got you one more gift.” He’s too afraid to meet Mack’s eyes.
Will holds his breath, waiting for a reaction.
“Dada, um, Dada said Macky can’t have the paci anymore,” Mack says and Will knows he’s referring to Rick, not him.
“Well, you can have it with me, okay? If- if you want. You don’t have to.”
“Thank you” Mack says softly, closing his hand around the gift like someone’s gonna take it away from him and pressing it to his chest, right where his heart is, his other hand wrapped around his bunny.
It’s quiet as Will wraps both hands around Mack to hug him, trying not to tear up. Yeah, this part Leno and Gabe would definitely not understand. The way that it’s sweet, tender. The way this feels like Will’s entire world.
“You’re welcome, baby.”
It’s quiet again and Will realizes that Mack’s not protesting being called a baby because he’s already snuck his new pacifier between his lips.
So cute, Will thinks, breath hitching as he allows himself to really look. My baby’s so cute.
Mack’s cheeks are flushed a gorgeous red and his lips wrapped around the teal pacifier, which is working in and out of his lips. His eyes are closed and his head is pillowed on Will’s chest, bunny squished between them.
And then Mack’s eyes flutter open and he’s looking up at Will through dilated pupils, sucking slowly, exhaling out breezily through his nose. Will wonders if Mack can feel Will’s heart pounding. Does he know what this is doing to Will? How badly he loves this moment?
Will’s internal mom!therapist shakes her head, and he flushes with a shameful wonder. If this is fucked up and he’s going to hell? Fuck it. Because Mack looks so beautiful like this, peaceful. The prettiest, cutest little baby, so sweet.
“Macky, baby, you’re my baby. I love you, love you so, so much,” Will says, voice low, and even their dirty talk makes no sense. When Will’s overwhelmed by how badly he wants Mack, he starts saying “I love you,” over and over again. It runs out of his mouth; he can’t help, can’t hold it back— he’s helpless to how much he loves seeing Mack like this.
His baby, his cute little baby. Flushed cheeks and trusting eyes that blink up at Will through dark lashes. And Macky does not shy away from it; he squirms against Will, rubbing against where Will’s starting to chub up.
“Mmm,” Macky says in respond, contented little noise around his paci, flushed all pink and proud at the adoration, at being loved by Will.
Will shifts against him, and he feels his cock filling out with every suck of Mack’s lips around the pacifier, knows that he could cum just like this.
Mack can certainly feel that— he continues blinking up slowly at him, flushed cheeks, waiting for more.
“Macky, do you-“ Will says as he grinds against Mack’s full cheeks, pulsing beneath his baby. “Do you want to go cuddle on the couch?”
Mack nods immediately, knows what they’re going to do together on the couch, under their favorite fuzzy blanket. He can feel the throbbing proof of it in Will’s shorts, pushing against him with every slow, measured rock of Will’s hips.
“Does Macky want cuddles?” Will asks sweetly as he pushes against him with a slow, measured thrust, barely stopping himself from just fucking into Macky with abandon. Because if Will’s going to hell, he might as well cum.
“Mhm,” Macky makes a noise of confirmation around his paci, shyly looks away even as he keeps nodding his cute, little head. Will can feel Macky’s smaller cock getting hard against his stomach. Fuck, so cute. He loves that he can make him hard.
“Come here then, baby, let Dada take care of you,” Will says and thank god that he’s been bulking up and working out so that he can lift Macky up.
Will’s muscles strain with effort, but it’s worth it for the payoff of making Mack feel little— to be big for him and take care of his baby.
“There we go, so little Dada can carry you,” Will says, pretending like his muscles aren’t burning when he makes it to the couch.
Hey, it’s a hella of a good reason to workout though. Because Mack’s cheeks are burning darker; he loves being carried like a little baby, and his gaze is intent on Will’s face like he’s afraid if he looks away that Will’s going to disappear.
Sometimes he gets like that- adorably clingy.
“M’ right here,” Will reassures Macky as he arranges them on the couch in their favorite position, so that Mack’s on top of him, between his open thighs. He feels his hole flutter as Mack’s hard-on nudges against him, and Will thinks about how sometimes he finger himself in secret when Mack’s not home. He always comes whining, three fingers shoved deep inside himself, face buried in his pillow so he doesn’t make any noise. Sometimes Will wishes for something bigger, something that would really fill him up. He doesn’t ever dare allow himself to hope it would be Mack.
If Will’s being honest, Mack’s still the furthest he’s ever gone with a boy. He knows it’s a bit pathetic if anyone ever knew because they’re basically fucking like repressed lesbians. Not like in the gay porn where Will’s seen, like, holes and mouths and spit and lube and whatever. One night they’d rubbed off skin to skin and that had felt insane, but Will’s not sure if Mack would ever want to go further than that…
Would he?
And while Will’s in his head, Macky’s making cute, contended noises around his pacifier and nuzzling up on Will’s chest like this is heaven to him, like there’s nowhere he’d rather be than Will’s arms. He keeps shifting, hard cock pressing against Will’s bigger one. It feels so good. And the whole time he’s still got his stuffed rabbit there. Occasionally Macky nuzzles his red cheek against the bunny and then bucks his hips into Will.
“Feels like you’re trying to crawl inside me and fuck me,” Will says, half-joking, half…something else. Fantasizing, maybe.
And Macky stops moving, blinks up at him, eyes going from dilated and spaced out to focused, as if he’s thinking about what Will had just said.
Sometimes when Mack’s deep under, Will forgets that adult Mack can still hear him.
Oops.
“Not- not that you would. You’re just a baby,” Will corrects as he runs a gentle hang through Macky’s hair. His baby closes his eyes immediately, nuzzling happily into Will, pressing his hips into him.
Will reaches over to find their fuzzy blanket and pulls it over them. It’s easier for both of them to cum with their favorite blankie covering them. It’s of course a Sharkies one they got from Toff.
He can feel his arousal building, but now that he’s started imagining it he can’t stop. Mack buried all the way inside him, pulsing inside him. His cock isn’t that big but Will thinks he’d prefer it that way— boyfriend sized.
“My baby,” Will continues, digging his hand in Macky’s hair as he encourages him to continue. “Look at you- you love this so much, don’t you? Love being a baby, love not thinking, love your bunny and your paci…”
And every time Will lists something, Mack rocks his hips forward.
Mack’s eyes flutter open and he’s staring up at Will like he’s lost inside him, eyes black and glazed over with lust, like he’s never felt anything as good, and Will’s pulsing along with him, knows they’re both right there, right at the edge-
“Come on, baby,” Will says softly and gives him a kiss on his red cheek. “You can make a mess; I know it feels good. Dada will clean you up after, okay? Come on, all over yourself, Macky.”
And that’s all it takes.
Macky’s looking up at him with dilated, worshipping eyes, sucking at his pacifier with concentration as he keeps rocking his hips, fucking their hips together, and Will lets his head fall back as he feels the familiar jump of Mack’s cock. They’ve done this enough times he knows the exact intimate stillness as Mack’s overwhelmed by his orgasm, knows exactly the little noise his baby makes as he falls apart, makes a mess in his undies, and it triggers Will’s orgasm, and he’s spilling over into his own boxers.
Ah.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, so fucking good.
Afterwards, Macky goes limp in his arms, all satiated.
”I love you,” Will says finally, breath catching.
”Wuv you too,” Macky says around his paci.
Maybe nobody else will get why Will loves this so much, but that’s okay— so long as Mack gets it, that’s all he needs.