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Wie könnte ich jemals den Grund bereuen? (English translation)

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  "Mephisto?"      

"Uuurm... What?!"        

"Sorry, did I wake you?"       

"No, I just had a great time lying here, breathing slowly and not moving. Of course you did! Why?", was the muffled response from the other side of the bed. Faustus rolled on his back, eyes fixed on the ceiling  although it was too dark to see anything except for darkness itself.       

"Do devils dream, by the way?"      

"Well, this one most certainly not right now", Mephisto muttered but Faustus felt him shifting and moving so he was now mirrowing the doctor's pose.

"Did you have a nightmare again?" That took Faustus off-guard.         

"Why 'again'?"        

"You're talking in your sleep." Quickly Faustus tilted his head so he was facing Mephisto who was motionlessly staring at the ceiling. Not more than a shadow in the darkness.        

"What 'm I saying?" Even he noticed the tremour in his voice and he hated it. Great, now he was feeling guilty for his dreams. And he new that this was really obvious. For a creature, capable of sensing the emotions of a human in his aura, he was an open book. For little kids, with big colourful pictures in it. Mephisto, though, couldn't be read by any means. When he answered, his voice was completely emotionless and even if Faustus would have been able to look into his eyes he wouldn't have found anything but what the other allowed him to see.       

"You're talking about her. Or to her. How beautiful she was. How you feel about leaving her. Tonight you tried again to convince her to come with you. I... I wouldn't have thought this bothers you more than having sold your soul to the Devil." He turned his head away and sat up. Instinctively, Faustus reached for him, grabbed his arm- and gasped in shock. Normally, Mephistos body temperature was higher than an average human'. But right now it was almost freezing cold. This change told more about the demon's state of mind than ten faces could have. The muscles under that cold skin turned hard when he froze. Although the devil was so much stronger than the man and could have broken free easily, he just kept sitting still, his back turned to Faustus. It was merely visible in the darkness, but Faustus knew about the fire scars marking his whole body. Out of his shoulder blades grew two growths usually hidden by clothes: the crippled and by heavenly fire burned remains of a once magnificent pair of wings.       

"It is true", Faustus admitted quietly. "I regret the way I left her and I always will." Carefully, as
though he was dealing with a wild beast which could be scared by one wrong movement, he wrapped his arms around Mephisto's chest and pressed into his back, paying attention not to touch the two stumps.   "But only the way. How could I ever regret the reason?" It was not often that Faustus uttered something so close to a declaration of love. Slowly, the doctor felt his demon relax and the warmth return to his body. At last, one hand cupped his softly. There had been times Faustus had been startled by the fact that there was no heart beating in this chest. That his hands wouldn't feel anything, that there was only silence in the demon. Mephisto had once said because of demons being no real living creatures with bodies just made to keep their presence they didn't possess something like a heart. It would only make this bodies weaker which are so much stronger than humans'. Only to be wounded by few means. But yet so silent. Mephisto slowly tilted his head back until his cheek was resting on top of Faustus' head.

"This is madness", Faustus could hear him wisper in a hoarse voice. "It will destroy both of us. Sooner or later you will die and then- I can't do this. How could I just stand there and watch when they-" Alarmed by the shudder that ran through Mephisto's whole body, Faustus let go and sat next to him. Gently and comforting, he placed one hand on Mephisto's shoulder, the other on his cheek. There were no tears, just like there was no heart but the tormented look of grief in those amber eyes was visible anyway. Carefully, he turned Mephisto's face so he coulf look at him.

"It was my decision, and my alone. You told me what my fate will be, but I chose to ignore it. I. And yes, one day I will have to pay the price for all this. But not today, not tomorrow. Hundreds of days will pass until that day. And when it comes, you will have made me strong enough to be ready for whatever is to come." To confirm his words, he leaned in and kissed the other, close-mouthed and deliberately. Mephisto's hand curled into the hair at the back of the doctor's head as he kissed him back. When the demon pulled back, Faust noticed a soft glow in his eyes. "I could never hurt you", Mephisto said, unusually quiet for him.

"I may be not able to fight off those who are stronger than me, but I will never do anything to you. I will protect you for as long as I live."