Sallymander: i’m HOME
Sallymander: and i’m also dying someone come hold me
Septhuitneuf: spotted in my apartment, Francoise Léger running from the guest room and hurling herself at my girlfriend, dragging them both to the couch
Sallymander: it is NECESSARY
Septhuitneuf: oh babe what’s wrong??? ;;
Ilovelucy: do u need the support squad to roll out
Ilovelucy: because i’ll kill a man
Sallymander: nononono it’s nothing that bad dw
Sallymander: just the teacher for business ESL is so demanding and i think lowkey racist
TJ2: he signed up to teach creole to english and yet he’s a racist…?
Sallymander: he only knows it because he was on mission trips
Sallymander: and he won’t shut tf up about his mission trips
TJ2: oh sally that’s horrible ;; i’m bringing you hot chocolate and the blanket from my house that u rlly like immediately
TJ1: i’ll kill him
Steveward: there are two kinds of people
Sallymander: oh no its not,,,, a big,,,, deal
Septhuitneuf: does it make you feel bad
Septhuitneuf: then it IS a big deal
Ilovelucy: almost as big as the KNIFE i am ominously sharpening rn
Ilovelucy: because ANYONE who makes sally feel bad is going to have to face the rage of 40,000 burning suns u feel
Frankiephile: sally is crying i luve her sm
TJ1: thomathan is driving but i can tell that he says rt too
Sallymander: yOU GUys ///
Sallymander: its really fine though!!
Sallymander: he’s actually decent teaching-wise and the TA is really amazing
Ilovelucy: who is ur TA
Sallymander: i actually don’t know his first name bc he goes by his last name, Miller
TJ1: he sounds pretentious
Sallymander: it turNs out tho that his mother is from Les Cayes too!!! and he actually sounds like a real person speaking creole and is wayy more helpful
Sallymander: he also does this little,, hand grabby thing when he trips over himself speaking which pip does tOO and it’s still cute, as always
Septhuitneuf: im blushing stOp
Sallymander: i won’t apologise for saying what’s true
Frankiephile: phillip just buried his head in a throw pillow
TJ1: milton sounds cool tho
Steveward: how old is he?
Sallymander: can’t be much older than me tho
Steveward: damn he must be Hot Shit to get a TA job that young
TJ2: we’re here
TJ1: KNOCK KNOCK CHUCKLEFACES IT’S TIME FOR SALLY SUPPORT
Frankiephile: coming! pip don’t take my spot
Frankiephile: WHAT DID I FCKSJDKAS
TJ1: FRANKIE THREW HER PHONE THIS IS TOO MUCH
Sallymander: tj just wrapped a blanket around me and gave me a mug with turtles on it??? still warm??
Sallymander: need me a man like that
Septhuitneuf: I AM RIGHT HERE
Frankiephile: not for long fuckwad
Ilovelucy: WHAT’S HAPPENING
Steveward: SAME I FEEL SO STRESSED
TJ2: francoise just sat on top of phillip, killing them instantly
Frankiephile: tj if u full name me one more mf time
Ilovelucy: IS PHIL FINE
Sallymander: yeah he’s just dramatic
Septhuitneuf: why do all people my age want me dead smh
TJ1: that seems like more of a you problem,,,
Frankiephile: yo did anyone bring food
Frankiephile: TEARS IM STARVING
TJ1: I SAW YOU EATING A MUFFIN LIKE AN HOUR AGO IN CLASS
Frankiephile: S T A R V I N G
Steveward: YALL ARE A MESS
Steveward: I’M LITERALLY FIVE SECONDS AWAY FROM COMING OVER THERE I’LL STOP AT TACO BELL
Frankiephile: GOD SAVES SINNERS LIKE ME EVERY DAY
TJ2: THANK YOU ABUELA!!!
Steveward: I’M NOT YOUR ABUELA
Septhuitneuf: sure jan
Sallymander: bby i love you but that meme is so old
Septhuitneuf: but im so CUTE that it doesnt matter, right
TJ1: PIP IS JUST??? CRYING???
Sallymander: frankie move so i can kiss my bf
Frankiephile: ew ok
Septhuitneuf: kiss: achieved
TJ1: u two are so cute i’m rioting???
Ilovelucy: sally and pip are forever goals
TJ2: i’m aro and even I think u are goals
Sallymander: STOP THIS AT ONCE
Steveward: what does everyone want from taco bell
Steveward: keep in mind if u say that dorito shit ur getting disowned
Ilovelucy: but??? its so good??
Steveward: my puerto rican blood just left my body in shock i’m not letting that shit in my house please and thank you
Frankiephile: ME ME ME EM EME ME ME M EM EM
Ilovelucy: FINE i want the gordita chruch
Frankiephile: the biggest fucking burrito they have
Septhuitneuf: a veggie burrito each for me and sal pls!!!
TJ2: just get me chips n cheese
TJ1: two spicy tostadas for me
TJ1: shut the fUCK UP THOMAS
TJ2: i didn’t say anything
Steveward: k i’ll be home in a few
Ilovelucy: not to be shady but aren’t you like on some diet together @pip and sal
Sallymander: UH yeah that’s why we got the ~veggie burrito~
Septhuitneuf: we ran an extra half mile today it’s good
Frankiephile: *shudders at the thought of moving more than five feet a day*
TJ1: GIRL SAME
Ilovelucy: i wouldn’t exercise if i had the choice but my entire industry is built of being at least kind of conventionally attractive so
TJ1: how is ur new role going by the way lucy!!
Ilovelucy: my first performance was two weeks ago and you ask now,,,
Ilovelucy: it’s going pretty good, except for the fact that i have to pretend to be madly in love with the man who was my father, so
Septhuitneuf: eewww GOD i would die if they made a musical about my dad
Sallymander: do you think they would talk about you in it?
Frankiephile: omg if phillip had a song about him no onw would be able to get in the room around his egotism
Ilovelucy: honestly? the worst part is seeing the audience go “???,,,,oh” after i walk out on stage
Ilovelucy: NEWS FLASH KIDDOS THIS MARTHA JEFFERSON IS A BLACK! WOMAN!!! FUCK OFF!!!!!!
Septhuitneuf: I WILL FIGHT ANYONE WHO SAYS SHIT
TJ1: N O
Septhuitneuf: I’LL BREAK INTO THE THEATRE
Frankiephile: NOT AFTER LAST TIME
Sallymander: PLEASE PHILIP DNJKSJSDJF
Ilovelucy: IT’S UNNECESSARY I PROMISE
Septhuitneuf: F I N E
Ilovelucy: plus if you kill a guy you won’t be able to see me perform :/
Septhuitneuf: yes,,,bc i LOVE musicals about john adams,,,,,and thomas jefferson,,,, the two men who i was RAISED TO DESPISE
TJ2: hey franklin was cool tho
Frankiephile: he was lit before the word was invented
Septhuitneuf: nah that was the baron
Septhuitneuf: lmao he was this Prussian guy??? He basically whipped the army into shape while also throwing fucking wi l d parties according to my dad
TJ1: YOUR DAD KNEW VON STEUBEN? MY LIFE ROLE MODEL? AND YOU NEGLECT TO TELL?
Septhuitneuf: yeah during the war and after
Septhuitneuf: this one intern of his? Charlie something? was looking for gay refuge with his boyfriend and my dad sent him to the baron
TJ1: I REMEMBER THAT
TJ1: MR JEFFERSON BROUGHT BURR TO EAT OR SOMETHING, IGNORED HIM THE ENTIRE TIME, BUT HE STILL GOT HOT GOSS
TJ1: “”CHARLIE”” WAS JOHN ADAMS’ K I D
Septhuitneuf: N O
Frankiephile: THE THINGS YOU MISS WHEN YOU LIVE IN ENGLAND JESUS
TJ2: THE FUCKING D R A M A
Ilovelucy: I’M SCREAMING SO MR ADAMS SENT HIS KID TO YOUR DAD TO TEACH HIM WORK ETHIC
Ilovelucy: NA D HE SEND S HIM TO THE FUCKING GAY MAN RESORT
Sallymander: I R E M E M BE R THAT VAGUELY???
TJ2: I’M SCREAMGINDSSD
Ilovelucy: OKAY I’M OUTSIDE UR BUILDING CAN WE ALL STOP TEXTING EACHOTHER LIKE FIVE YEAR OLDS????
Septhuitneuf: BUT ED
Ilovelucy: HE’S DRIVING RN AND I’M COMING UP
Sallymander: SEE YOU SOON LOVE!!!!