First Officer's Assistant log... Personal log, I should say... Stardate 1108.16. The Enterprise has just faced the 11,000-mile wide reproductive creature that destroyed the Intrepid, a ship manned entirely by Vulcans. Mister Spock felt the loss of life even from the distance that kept the Enterprise and Intrepid apart. Captain Kirk had it in mind to destroy the creature and had to decide on who to send away, Mister Spock or Doctor McCoy. In the end, he sent Mister Spock. When he did, I felt... I felt my heart drop. Captain Kirk told Doctor McCoy and I to see Mister Spock off, and we did.
"Do not suffer so, Erin." Spock said to me as Doctor McCoy and I stood in the corridor. Spock turned to McCoy. "This is not the first time superior capability has proven more valuable than professional credentials."
"Nothing has been proven yet, Spock. The DNA code analyzer will give you the fundamental structure of the thing. You'll need readings on three light wavelengths from the enzyme recorder." As Spock spoke, I continued to feel my heart drop. I felt a lump in my throat as if I was going to die along with Spock had he not survived.
"I am familiar with the equipment, Doctor. We're wasting time. The shuttlecraft is ready."
McCoy grabbed Spock's forearm and stopped him from entering the shuttlecraft bay. "You're determined not to let me share in this, aren't you?" McCoy glared, his blue eyes cold.
Spock pulled his arm free. "This is not a competition, Doctor. Whether you understand it or not, grant me my own kind of dignity."
"Vulcan dignity?" McCoy scoffed. "How can I grant you what I don't understand?"
"Then employ one of your own superstitions." Spock raised an eyebrow as he thought of it. "Wish me luck." McCoy's eyebrows quirked and Spock left the corridor. Before the doors could close behind him, I nearly raced to him.
"Spock!" Spock turned around and looked to me. I came close to him and snaked an arm around his neck. Standing on my toes, I kissed Spock hard on the lips and felt a fire ignite within me. "I love you. I needed to say that in the event that you die." I said quickly. Before Spock could push me away, I left the bay and returned to McCoy in the corridor, whose eyes were wide and jaw was fallen half-open.
The shuttle bay doors slid closed and McCoy looked to me. "My God, Erin." McCoy said to me. "You kissed him."
My eyes looked straight ahead. "I have no comment on the matter." I said flatly.
What I didn't know at the time was that McCoy had already wished Spock luck when I was speeding towards him to admit what feelings I felt towards him.
As I stood in my cabin, I looked myself over in the mirror. I thought about how many crewmen had pursued a relationship with me, how I always denied them out of having fallen in love with Spock, the one person aboard the Enterprise I cannot have.
My strawberry blonde hair was long and wavy and my blue eyes shined. My skin was flawless pale porcelain and my lips were a soft shade of coral red. I looked to my attire - a black silk nightgown with long sleeves that I bought back on Earth - and thought how the fabric clung to my slender form, accentuating the curves of my breasts and hips and then another vision-memory flashed in my mind. I thought of Spock in my mind - a picture of him shirtless - and my body reacted to it, my teats hardening. I blushed and shook my head but the reaction continued as I thought of the only man I've ever loved.
"Do not risk the ship further on my behalf." Spock ordered. I stood at Jim's side as he sat in his command chair, staring up at me. Jim thought me the fourth member to his clique of three musketeers. There was him, Spock, McCoy, and now me, and I knew Jim thought me the sister he never had.
"Shut up, Spock!" I shouted. "We're rescuing you!" Everyone on the bridge turned to me but my eyes were fixed firmly on the main screen, watching the shuttlecraft take Spock into the amoeba-creature. No one had ever me say the words, 'shut up,' let alone curse.
"Why, thank you, Captain Rogoff." Jim and I exchanged looks and Kirk gave me a nod, and I gave him a nod, letting out a smile. I looked back to McCoy, who stood on the other side of Jim's chair. He looked me over and I knew he hadn't told a soul about the kiss I gave to Spock before he left.
There came a buzzing at my cabin door that brought me out of my vision. I brushed the creases out of my dress and looked to the door, tossing my hair over my shoulders. "Enter." I said, and in came Spock. Immediately, my throat went dry and I became nervous.
Spock looked me over and cocked his head to the side. "Erin, I've never seen you dressed out of uniform... Or your hair not in any style. You look so..." Spock seemed different now and I grew even more embarrassed, but I loved when he called me by my first name alone. He called Kirk 'Jim,' and now he called me 'Erin' alone.
"Would you care for me to change back into my uniform?" I asked the Vulcan.
Spock shook his head quickly. "No, no." He cleared his throat. "I... I approve of you just the way you are." I looked to my feet and then looked to Spock again. "Erin, I came here to discuss with you what happened earlier in the shuttle bay."
My blue eyes widened and I looked to the floor. "Are you here to tell me I acted illogically?" I asked. "I apologize for kissing you. I shouldn't have acted that way-" Spock took three long strides towards me and took me in his arms, kissing me hard on the lips before I could continue. His arms snaked around my body and I felt as if I was molded against him, his hands so hot I felt he was branding me as his own. I was his, in a way, just as I had always been; the feeling we were meant together being a feelings so strong it was nearly overpowering. As we kissed, sparks flew and I felt more alive than ever before. I let out a moan as we kissed and I allowed myself to enjoy the closeness of the only warm body I ever wanted to feel against me.
When the kiss broke, Spock touched his forehead to mine and kissed my lips again, a free hand touching the soft skin of my cheek. "I ashaya du," said Spock in his native tongue.
"What?" I said softly. "I'm not fluent in Vulcan, Spock. What does that mean?"
Spock let out a smile and ran a hand down my jaw line. "Erin, I said, 'I love you.' Since we first met, I have always loved you. I simply did not know what to say, how to tell you I loved you." I gazed up at Spock with adoring eyes. My hands ran up Spock's chest and one arm snaked around his neck as the other touched his cheek and then ran up the length of his perfect pointed ears. "The admission of my feelings for you is long overdue, and for that, I am sorry. I should have told you long ago."
I let out a Mona Lisa smile and tightened my embrace around Spock, our lips meeting once again. "There is nothing to forgive. We have each other now and that's all that matters." Spock touched my face and I placed my hand over his. "I feared I'd lose you when you went into the amoeba. I never want to lose you again."
"You will never lose me, Erin. I will go only when you wish me away." Spock's baritone voice made me weak in the knees.
"I'll never wish you away!" I insisted. "All I've ever wanted is to be close to you. If you weren't there, I'd want to crawl away and die."
Spock brushed a tendril of my red hair behind my ear. "You are beautiful. More beautiful than any dream of beauty I've ever known."
"I've longed to hear you say that." I smiled and Spock pulled me close to kiss him again. His hands slipped around my form and he lifted me off the ground, holding me like a groom holds his new bride. My arms wrapped around his neck and Spock twirled me around the room, a broad smile on his face. My hand went to his cheek and he kissed me again.
Spock went to the sleeping alcove of my quarters and lay me ceremoniously on my bed. Spock kissed me again and moved again so he was atop me on his hands and knees. It felt right being with him. His hands moved about my body and lifted up the black skirt of my nightgown and ran his hands up and down my waxed legs. I let out a moan of comfort and Spock took his chance in entering my mouth with his tongue. Never had I French kissed anyone before and I felt elation.
My hands moved about Spock and pulled at the hem of his uniform tunic. Spock pulled away and up and over his shirt came. Spock took off his black thermal undershirt, too, and allowed me to drink in the sight of his Adonis form, his chiseled abs and the dark hair on his chest. He was the perfect specimen in my eyes, to state it scientifically. Spock quickly took off his boots and pants, too, and then came down upon me again and kissed my neck and moved to lift my gown over my head.
My face reddened as I revealed my body to Spock wholly, and I moved so my arms covered my breasts. Spock ran his hands down my arms and took hold of my hands. "Do not hide yourself from me, Thy'la. There is no reason to be ashamed of what you feel. What we both feel." I wasn't fluent in Vulcan by any means, but I did know that 'Thy'la' meant 'loved one' or 'treasured one.' I moved my arms so Spock could look me over, too, and he ran his hands down my chest, feeling my nipples harden all the more beneath his electrifying touch.
Many men lusted after me, loved me, but the only one I ever wanted was one whom I thought could never love me in return. God, I was so wrong. I have never been so wrong in all my life!
Now both unclothed, Spock moved to pull the red bed sheets above the two of us. Every sense was heightened and I couldn't be more ecstatic. I could see every vibrant color, pick out every detail of Spock's features; I could smell Spock's clean scent and my own aroma of perfume; I could taste the heat of Spock's lips on mine; I could feel every synapse firing away in my bloodstream and the feel of Spock's hands roaming about my body.
My hands found their way around Spock to touch his back, my nails raking gently across his skin. I was getting a rise out of him just as he was doing to me, and I felt him shiver against me, his skin prickling with goose shivers. I never knew that happened to Vulcans. This Vulcan, anyway.
As we kissed, Spock's hands moved down to cup the curls between my legs and I felt a twinge of fear. Spock looked into my eyes and moved his hand away from my nether regions. "Erin," Spock said, his voice concerned. "Have I hurt you?"
"No." I said quietly, blushing harder. "I've just... I've never done this before. With anyone." I wasn't yet out of my early twenties and was still a virgin. I was not a prude, by any means; I was just saving myself for the one whom I thought was the right man for me, and Spock was that man.
Spock quirked an eyebrow. "We will go as slow as you wish."
"Will it hurt? The first time, I mean." I asked shyly.
"The area of penetration will no doubt be sensitive." Spock said to me. "It may hurt, but only for the first time as the feminine body is unused to a... Male sheath, such as this." I let out a small chuckle, thinking of how Spock referred to his member. I felt Spock harden against my skin, his erection pressing into my stomach. "We do not have to continue if you do not wish to."
"I want this." My hand moved to Spock's side and felt his alien heart beat into my hand. "Spock, I want this more than anything. I want you. All of you." I took Spock's free hand and moved it to my soft mound of curls again and he felt the warmth of my skin again, now moving to place himself inside me; but before he did, he stopped himself and looked into my eyes.
"Erin, to make the experience more pleasurable, are you willing to enter into a mind meld?" Erin didn't need time to think about it, and she nodded. Spock placed his hand against Erin's pale face and instantly Erin felt a bolt of lightning strike her heart. It felt electrifying and new, unknown to Erin but very welcomed. "My mind to your mind. My thoughts to your thoughts." Spock began to read Erin's mind, and she read his. "We are one."
Instantly, Erin felt Spock enter her mind, and she was open to him completely, as he was to her. Erin saw in Spock's mind the day he was born, the very day his father called him 'human,' the very day he did not truly accept his son. Erin saw into Spock's mind and felt like crying for him as she saw how lonely he was in his childhood. He was outside in the blazing hot sun, faced against a number of pure-blooded Vulcan boys, schoolmates of his. They called him an Earther, someone who did not belong on Vulcan. They called Spock's mother a human whore and Spock attacked them. Tears threatened to sting Erin's eyes but she kept them at bay. Erin saw the day Spock chose between the Vulcan Science Academy and Starfleet, and she saw in her mind the day Spock first met her. Erin remembered smiling kindly to Spock and giving him the Vulcan salute out of respect. And after that, she saw how feelings of love for her evolved in Spock's mind and heart. She felt his emotions, his feelings of confusion, torn between going to her and telling her he loved her or remaining in his cultural skin, refusing to reveal his feelings or take her to his bed. The vision of Spock's life ended in Erin's mind - but they kept a tight mental link between them - and Erin kissed Spock harder on the lips.
I love you so much, Spock. I love you more than anything in the galaxy! No, the universe. I've never wanted to be anyone's but yours. I'm yours as I've always been. Erin thought to Spock in her mind.
Just as Erin saw Spock's life in her mind, Spock saw Erin's life in his mind. Spock saw the day Erin was born. It was against all odds, not because of the dangers of birth, but because Erin was born on her grandmother's birthday and her mother before her. Spock saw Erin's early memories. When she was just entering school, she was harassed by her classmates, all of whom were less intellectuals than she was. Erin was a loner from the beginning, enjoying her own company by reading any books she could get her hands on or by writing in her journal memories and events that evoked such strong emotions in her, both good and bad. Erin was tormented in school for simply being herself, a girl with a thirst for knowledge and adventure. Both in school and outside of school, Erin was tortured for being different. There were few she called friends and even fewer who left her alone. Spock felt how lonely Erin's life had been and he knew what that loneliness was. Real loneliness, along with the emotions of despair and hatred, anguish and sadness. Spock saw in Erin's mind how fast she'd connected with those aboard the Enterprise and how she felt accepted for the first time in her life, really. Spock saw how much of Erin's life had been saddening and he felt comfort knowing how he made her feel.
For as long as I live, Thy'la, I promise you will never be alone again. I will do everything in my power to make you happy. Erin, my love, you mean more to me than anyone ever has. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you. Spock thought to Erin in his mind.
"Take me." Erin's voice was barely a whisper, but not a whisper of embarrassment.
As you wish, Thy'la. Spock's lips and body descended upon Erin and she felt complete, whole, as if she was missing a part of herself that she had just found. And Erin could hardly believe that Spock loved her in return. It was like she was in a dream, a dream that she never wanted to see end or wake up from.
Erin let out another quiet moan as Spock moved within her. He moved out slightly, and then he moved in slightly, and then repeated the process. Erin's breathing came out a bit more rapid as Spock took hold of her slender hips and moved so her legs wrapped around his waist. He started out slow and then moved faster, but remained gentle like a lover's sweet caress.
As things became more heated, Erin's French-manicured nails scratched at Spock's back, leaving faint trails of green blood beneath his skin. Spock shuddered against her and moved deeper within her. Spock reached a place within Erin that she had never felt or experienced before, and she held herself against him, her coral lips locked with his. Spock tried not to let himself hurt Erin, and rested his weight in his arms as he leaned against the mattress of her bed. Spock breathed heavily as he undulated into her.
Erin let out a cry as the waves of pleasure encased her, Spock's seed flowing into her. The orgasm that Erin experienced was so intense that it hurt, her climax bringing on Spock's own. Spock shuddered with the pleasure of his release, and moved to lay beside her on her bed. Spock looked Erin over and saw Erin's chest rise and fall, her eyes staring up at the ceiling above. Erin blinked a few times and Spock grew confused as he saw a single tear fall down her cheek.
Spock sat up quickly, lying on his side. Wiping the tear from Erin's cheek, he looked to her with concern. "Have I hurt you? I did not intend-"
"You did not hurt me, Spock." Erin shook her head and smiled up at her Vulcan lover. "You mistake my tears of joy for tears of sadness." Erin turned on her bed to face Spock, her hands running up his chest again and coming around his neck. "Spock, I never knew life could be this perfect. I may have had a sad- I may have had a short childhood, having to grow up with the torture I faced, but life is perfect now that I have you. Everything is perfect now. You with me, I will never have to face loneliness again. I love you with every fiber of my being. Know that will never change."
Spock took Erin's hand in his own and he leaned over her again, kissing her lips. "You have given my life purpose again. I do not just live because I must, but because I can live for you." Erin smiled and curled herself against Spock, feeling the warmth of his body against her. Spock ran his hand through her long, strawberry blonde hair and closed his eyes as he felt her heart beat against him. Erin smiled as she lay her head against Spock's chest and settled in for sleep.
Life could not be more perfect for the lovers that lay together in the night.