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My Guidance Counselor Got a Facebook

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Emma Pillsbury: I've had this Facebook for a while, and I'm still very hesitant to use it.

Rusty Pillsbury and Rose Pillsbury like this

Emma Pillsbury: Mom, dad, you got Facebooks, too!?

Rusty Pillsbury: We have to look after you sweetheart!

Rose Pillsbury: Yes, we do! We gingers have to stick together, especially after you married that demon man, Phill or whomever.

Rusty Pillsbury likes this

Will Schuester: My name is Will. And I can read everything you're writing.

Rose Pillsbury: No matter. We're just here to look after you, sweetheart.

Rusty Pillsbury likes this

Emma Pillsbury: Thanks, mom…

Rusty Pillsbury: Please don't use that tone with your mother.

Rose Pillsbury likes this


 

Kurt Hummel changed his relationship status to: it's complicated.

14 people like this

Rachel Berry: Oh my gosh! Is this in reference to what we talked about while watching Mamma Mia the other day? Because I think I know exactly what's going on, and we really need to have a life chat, because I know exactly how to advise you on this situation. I really am the best person to go to for advice in this situation. I am. I'm your best friend, Kurt, you can talk to me.

Rachel Berry likes this

Adam Crawford: Am I supposed to change my relationship status, too?

Blaine Anderson: I'm really confused here..

3 people like this

Emma Pillsbury: Kurt, it seems as though you have created quite a mess here. I think I have just the pamphlet you need to fix this right here sitting next to me at my house on my bed- what a coincidence! Anyway, its title is: "So You Still Have Feelings for Your Short Hobbit-ish Ex, But You've Met a Hot British Man and Now You're Dating Him". I think it's perfect! Do you want me to ship it to New York for you?

Santana Lopez and 6 others like this

Kurt Hummel: Emma: Umm.. no, thanks. I think I could probably find it online. I appreciate it, though. Adam: not yet..? Blaine: I am too. Yeah. That's what I have to say for the moment.

Adam Crawford: Now I'm confused..

Santana Lopez: Honey, I think everyone, including, Lady Hummel is confused.

2 people like this

Emma Pillsbury: I'm not. I read the pamphlet!


 

Shannon Beiste: Goal for this weekend: Find the best wing joint in town.

7 people like this

Will Schuester: Maybe I'll have to join you! We could karaoke again at that bar.

Shannon Beiste likes this

Shannon Beiste: As long as you don't get as wasted as last time, you pussy.

Puck, Santana Lopez, and 19 others like this

Will Schuester: Is that a challenge?

Emma Pillsbury: Honey, you know you don't hold your alcohol very well. You should probably stay home with me, and we can plan the next time my parents come over! You know how much they love to visit us.

Will Schuester: Emma, please don't embarrass me in front of the entire Facebook community.

Emma Pillsbury: You've managed that all on your own. Don't forget to bring a lot of wet wipes, Beiste. Have fun!

Shannon Beiste and 4 others like this


 

Sue Sylvester: Now that the beginning of my plan to take over the world has begun, I can initiate phase two. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *cough, cough*

Mark Zuckerburg and Sue Sylvester like this

Sue Sylvester: You should all notice my flair for the dramatic in the above status. It was pretty brilliant, if I must say so myself. Which, of course, I must.

Becky Jackson likes this

Emma Pillsbury: Sue, I found the perfect pamphlet for you underneath Kurt's: "5 Easy Steps to Take Over the World: Heartless, Vindictive B*tch Edition"!

Sue Sylvester: I stole that from your freaky sterilized office a long time ago, you soulless, bambi- eyed nancy! Where do you think I got my plan to take over the world from?

4 people like this

Emma Pillsbury: You're a heartless, vindictive ****.

5 people like this

Sue Sylvester: So the pamphlet tells me.

Emma Pillsbury: That censor wasn't covering the word b*tch.

Will Schuester, P Figgs, and 16 other people like this


 

Emma Pillsbury: Phase One of taking over the world- destroying Sue Sylvester- complete. That packet is really easy to follow.

Will Schuester: