Logan delivers the words with the malice and precision of a targeted attack: “And that was the best day of your life.”
There had been one piece of William still holding on to the idea that Logan could see him as an equal. A friend. But now that, too, crumbles away, and then there’s no more barrier for the humiliation and anger that flood through him, a riptide of helpless rage. He can’t think any more. Savage energy is rushing through his veins, clawing at his chest, filling his head with nameless, violent things.
Hurting Logan won’t actually lift the weight of humiliation in his chest, but it feels like it will, and that’s the only thing that matters right now. He seizes Logan by the shirt and pushes him toward the wall – but they crash into a table on the way and both end up on the floor. Instinctively William rolls on top of Logan, pinning him down.
There’s a little smirk on Logan’s face, like he was expecting this. William wants to punch it off his face. Panting, he sits up, winding back – and when he does, he notices the couch Dolores was sitting on and gives it a frantic glance. But Dolores is gone. And William doesn’t know if he’s hurt or relieved –
“Don’t look at her,” growls Logan, grabbing William’s shirt and pulling him down. “She means nothing.”
Anger flushes through William, and wordlessly he seizes Logan and shakes him, knocking his head against the ground. Logan grimaces and then throws his weight up against William, knocking him sideways, and then they’re rolling on the floor, each struggling for the upper hand.
It’s a tight, claustrophobic fight, crashing into furniture and the wall. William barely notices because all he can think about is Logan’s body straining against his, Logan’s fingers digging into his arms and twisting in his shirt, Logan’s quick pants of breath echoing his own harsher gasps. All he can focus on for the moment is that he needs to pin Logan to the ground, force him still.
But Logan is better at this, lean and clever, and he eventually gets on top of William, straddling him and pinning his wrists to the ground. He sits like that, looking down at William, his eyes shining wildly in the flickering candlelight, mouth crooking into a little smile.
William takes a shuddering breath. He wonders if Logan is about to praise him for letting the rage take over, and the thought sends a little spike of excitement through the part of him that aches for Logan’s approval – but no. He hates himself for that feeling, enough to keep struggling, growling as he throws his body up against the weight of Logan’s.
But Logan holds on and waits patiently for William to give up and collapse back onto the floor. “It’s all right, buddy, you don’t have to prove anything,” he tells him. “Everyone already knows how bad you want to fuck me.”
The words hit William like a blow. How bad you want to fuck me – he can’t think, can’t seem to breathe. It’s bitterly unfair that Logan can see right through to his innermost thoughts, and he, looking up at Logan’s tight smile and raised eyebrows, can read nothing –
Logan scoffs at William’s expression. “I mean, you don’t make it much of a secret –” And he reaches down to grab William’s crotch.
William jerks under Logan’s hand. He hadn’t even realized he was hard until now – his whole body is pulsing with heat, his head is spinning, and it’s only now, with Logan’s hand curling firmly around his cock, that he’s aware of the pressure of arousal between his legs.
“That’s what I thought,” breathes Logan, stroking the length of William’s cock through his pants. William shudders, stomach twisting with a flood of desire and shame. He could blame this on the naked bodies around them, the background chorus of moans – but he’s too far gone to even try to make excuses.
Of course he wants Logan. Everyone wants Logan. Most people can move past it, but most people aren’t in this depraved place, with Logan carefully crumbling their walls until every semblance of control they have is gone.
Logan watches him, waiting for the perfect moment to deliver his next blow. “You know, that day you got promoted – I should have let you crawl under my desk and suck my cock. A little bonus.”
William can’t tell the difference between anger and humiliation and lust anymore, just knows there’s heat rushing though him, pulsing in his veins, roaring in his ears – and Logan’s responsible.
With a growl, he surges forward, pushing himself up with his free hand, forcing Logan backwards off of him. He pushes Logan to the ground instead and kneels over him, panting. When Logan starts to sit up, William clamps a hand around his throat, pinning him to the ground.
Something flashes in Logan’s eyes and he falls still. The heel of William’s hand is resting on Logan’s collarbone, and he can feel the rapid rise and fall of Logan’s chest – and just the threat of his fingers pressed to the sides of Logan’s throat feels good, like William can find some measure of control in this sea of chaos.
Logan just looks up at him. In the candlelight he looks like a doll himself, his hair rakishly ruffled, the collar of his white shirt spread open, his handsome beard framing soft pink lips. But there’s something ugly and human in the depth of his dark eyes.
“Do you get it now?” asks Logan.
“What?” croaks William.
Logan reaches up and grabs him by the hair, pulling him closer, and William is forced to lean in so they’re face to face. “You can hurt me if you want,” Logan tells him quietly, “but nothing you can do will ever change who you are. When we go back out there, you’re going to have to keep shaking my hand when you see me and agreeing politely with whatever I say. And you’re just going to have to keep hiding what you really want.”
William swallows. There’s noise all around them, moaning and laughing, but he can’t seem to hear anything but his heartbeat pounding in his ears and Logan’s voice.
“But that’s out there,” says Logan, dragging William closer still. His eyes dip to William’s mouth. “We’re in here.”
His other hand snakes up William’s forearm and closes around his wrist where William’s hand is on his throat. His eyes snap back up to William’s.
“In here, you can take what you want.”
And so William kisses him.
He pushes their mouths fiercely together, pressing Logan against the ground. Amid everything going on around them, there should be nothing special about something as simple as a kiss – but this one is something else, something primal, violent. William pushes his tongue into Logan’s mouth and tastes the warm wet inside of him, swallows his breath, kisses him past the point of words.
If he feels any shame – for kissing Logan with more hunger than finesse, for rolling on the floor under the eyes of so many people – all it does is feed the nameless coil of heat in his belly, the ever-tightening knot of need that demands he take every piece of Logan he can.
He kisses Logan and lets his hands move over Logan’s body, squeezing his arms, sliding down his sides. Between Logan’s untucked shirt and his belt is a strip of warm skin where William’s fingers can dig into the curves of his hipbones. With an instinctive rush of desire he grabs Logan by the hips and pulls their bodies flush together, so that Logan’s thighs are around William’s waist and William can grind his cock against Logan’s ass.
This is good. He doesn’t care about what will happen after this. He doesn’t care about how they got here, either, or about anything except how good Logan’s lean warm body feels under him and the sweet wet taste of his mouth.
Logan, though, fists his hand in William’s hair and pulls him up, and William lifts his head. He doubts he could recognize himself right now, but Logan still looks exactly like Logan – same wicked eyes, same mouth crooked into a small smile.
“Okay, hang on, cowboy,” says Logan. “Don’t you think this might go a little better without pants?”
William’s brain tries to shift into a place where he can talk. “Uh –”
Logan laughs. “Even the robots don’t try to fuck through their clothes, buddy.”
“Yeah, okay,” says William shakily, sitting back on his knees and fumbling at his belt. His hands are trembling. He wants – needs – to continue this, but there’s still a tiny chill of fear in the back of his mind that this is going too far. That he shouldn’t make himself this vulnerable in front of Logan.
Logan doesn’t hesitate, and William can’t help staring as he pushes his pants down. His cock springs free, hard and flushed. With his cock standing up bare against his stomach, Logan should look vulnerable, but instead it’s William who feels like he’s doing something wrong, seeing something he’s not supposed to see. Heat rushes to his face. It’s too late, he thinks, he can’t ever go back now – he won’t be able to look at Logan again without thinking of his pink, perfect cock –
“Stop thinking,” growls Logan, reaching up and tugging William’s pants down. And William realizes that it’s already too late to go back, and it has been for a long time.
His cock bounces free of his clothes and immediately he surges forward, pressing Logan down against the floor. This time they’re skin to skin, their cocks pressed together between their bodies. Logan makes a little satisfied sound under him, and William just shudders at the feeling of it, the bare intimacy. Instinct takes over and his hips start to rock, sliding his cock against the hot line of Logan’s.
William’s hands find Logan’s hips again and he pulls him closer still, tilting his hips so that their cocks line up perfectly, shaft to shaft, the heads nudging clumsily together. Every bit of friction sends a shiver of heat through William’s veins and he chases that feeling, over and over, his hips rolling in a jerky rhythm.
Logan just holds on to him, breathing in little gasps in his ear. William feels overwhelmed and needy at once – this is so good he can’t breathe, Logan’s body under his, the thrilling heat of Logan’s cock, and yet the animal part of him keeps driving him onward, filling him with an aching desire for more.
Bracing himself on one elbow, he reaches between their bodies and takes both their cocks in his hand. This is better still than the clumsy press of their bodies: he strokes them together, holding them tightly, his hand sliding in time with the roll of his hips. He likes the weight of Logan’s cock in his hand, the hot, smooth skin, and he likes the way Logan reacts when he squeezes the heads of their cocks together – shuddering and tossing his head back, canting his hips up into William’s grip.
William leans in, pressing his face to the long line of Logan’s neck, and then in a thoughtless rush of desire bites down, right on the juncture of Logan’s neck and shoulder. Logan makes a low, helpless sound and his hips jerk under William’s. Something in William surges up in response to that sound, and he does it again, sucking on the same spot. Logan groans, twisting his head as if to escape, but his hand grips William’s hair, pulling him close.
So William keeps going, biting Logan and sucking marks into his skin. The sounds Logan makes thrum through him, hot and thrilling, and the rhythm of his hand on their cocks grows frantic as his hips make tight rolls against Logan’s. Eventually he can feel Logan’s body tensing under him, can hear the desperate catch of his breath, and the thought that Logan is getting close fills him with a dizzying rush of power.
“Ah, fuck,” gasps Logan in his ear, hands clenching in William’s shirt. William bites down on his shoulder, fist tight around their cocks, and Logan freezes. “Fuck –”
William can feel it happen – the tension rolling through Logan’s body and Logan’s cock jerking in his hand, spilling hot between their bodies. He groans, hips rocking, even as Logan’s stutter to a stop.
Something makes him sit up, then, and look down at Logan. He has to take a shuddering breath at the sight. Logan has none of his normal poise but all of his beauty – he’s pink-cheeked and messy-haired, dazed, his eyes gone wide and dark. The bite marks and bruises William gave him stand out against the pale skin of his neck, bold and sinful.
William, stunned, reaches out and presses his fingers to the bruise where Logan’s neck meets his shoulder. Logan gasps, his eyes falling closed, and heat rushes up William’s spine.
If this is the world where he can make Logan his, then the real world is nothing.
Desperately William fists his hand around his cock. Everything’s slick and messy now and he strokes himself quickly, eyes trailing over Logan. It doesn’t take long for the pulse of need pumping through him to find its rhythm in the jerk of his fist, and soon he’s on the edge, breath catching in his throat.
Logan watches him, eyes still blown dark, tracking the slick motion of William’s fist. And then his eyes flick to William’s face, and it’s right then that it’s finally too much, all the need built up inside William, and heat explodes in his stomach and pulses through his body as he comes, shuddering, his cock painting thick stripes on Logan’s stomach.
Logan makes a soft, pleased sound as William strokes himself through it. Finally William’s hand slows, chasing the last few pulses of pleasure, and then he sits back, breathing hard.
Part of him braces himself for a rush of shame as soon as the haze of lust clears. But he doesn’t feel one – he doesn’t feel anything. All the anger and humiliation from before has drained out of him, washing away not only the walls he had put up, but the entire rest of who he is in the outside world.
It feels like a huge weight off his chest.
Logan sits up and smirks at him, roguish again, though there’s still something dazed in his eyes. “Feels good, doesn’t it?”
In answer William reaches out and pulls Logan to him by the chin, and kisses him, just because he can – a slow kiss, almost sweet, except it’s too dirty to be called sweet. He licks messily into Logan’s mouth, and Logan kisses back just as roughly, pressing closer. William tilts his head and bites Logan’s lower lip, and Logan’s whole body shivers on cue.
Yes, it feels good.