Chapter Text
She should have known better.
As much as Alex wanted to slam her apartment door in frustration, she closed it quietly, too emotionally drained for theatrics. Turning one deadbolt and then the other, she closed her eyes, leaning against the wood as the tears that had been threatening all the way back to her apartment finally manifested.
She should have known better.
But God... God, it fucking hurt.
“Alex?”
Flinching, Alex straightened and turned, both startled yet unsurprised to find Kara standing there in the relative darkness in full Supergirl attire. Alex cleared her throat and kept to the shadows, not wanting her sister to know how upset she was.
“What are you doing here? You okay?”
“I’m fine,” Kara murmured. “I heard about Roulette being released. I thought…”
Alex tried to discreetly sniffle but apparently she failed. Kara was across the room instantly, dipping her head to study Alex’s features.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Alex…” Kara chided, reaching out and cupping Alex’s cheek, turning her features toward the meager light. “You’re crying.” Her thumb gently wiped away a tear, and, for a moment, Alex was tempted to fall into her sister’s impossibly strong arms and confess everything.
Jerking her head away, Alex shuffled into her apartment. Her plans for the evening were to drink and cry and not necessarily in that order, and she needed Kara gone before she could commence with either.
“Alex,” Kara pleaded this time, trailing after her.
Alex stopped in the middle of her living room, hanging her head in defeat. “I just…” Her voice quivered, fresh tears blurring her view of National City awash in lights beyond her windows. ”I just wonder if I’ll ever be enough for someone.” She turned to face Kara, her sister’s features stricken. “I’m always second best if I’m even any thought at all.”
“What are you talking about?” Kara stepped closer. “What happened?”
Alex waved off her sister’s concerns with a flick of her wrist. “It doesn’t matter.”
“The hell it doesn’t,” Kara snapped, a note of anguish entering her voice. “Nothing matters more.”
Wishing she could believe that, Alex shook her head and slumped on her couch. She grabbed a pillow, drawing it to her chest. “I just need to be alone for a little while.”
Kara drew in a deep breath at the dismissal. For a moment, Alex thought her sister might actually leave. A part of her wanted Kara to, but the rest desperately wanted Kara to choose to stay, to care enough for her to fight back.
Cape fluttering as she flopped on the couch, Kara simply sat there beside her, saying nothing.
A tiny, grateful grin flickered across Alex’s lips even as more tears continued to fall.
“I’m not leaving,” Kara said into the quiet, her voice hoarse. She reached out hesitantly, wrapping an arm around Alex’s shoulders and drawing her into a hug.
It broke something in her, and Alex released a choked sob, the first of many. Kara’s grip on her tightened, holding her while Alex finally surrendered to the pain.
****
Alex took the pint of rocky road and spoon Kara thrust into her hands with a tired smile. She’d finally cried herself out, and Kara had announced some ice cream therapy was in order. Kara plopped down beside her again, a pint of open Chunky Monkey in her hand, her first bite already in her mouth.
“Talk to me,” Kara said after she swallowed. “Tell me who I need to punch.”
Sighing, Alex took a tentative bite of her own, the cold pleasant on her raw throat. “No one.”
“Someone upset you. That's punch-worthy.”
Smiling grimly, Alex shook her head. “If anyone deserves to be punched, it’s me. I did something tonight I shouldn’t have.”
“That’s hardly new.”
Alex shoved her sister playfully with her shoulder but Kara, of course, didn’t budge.
Closing her eyes, Alex tried to ignore the nerves fluttering like mad in her stomach. “I… I like someone.”
Kara went still, her head rounding on Alex in surprise. “Who?”
Alex shook her head again. “Doesn’t matter. They… they have someone. Someone very attractive as I got to see firsthand tonight.”
Frowning, Kara’s brow furrowed heavily before suddenly relaxing in understanding. “Maggie?” she asked softly.
Alex’s breath caught. She’d never really discussed her sexuality with Kara, never fully sure about it herself until Maggie Sawyer had sauntered into her life. She thought about denying it, but she slowly nodded her head, a measure of relief stealing through her at the admission.
Without a word, Kara snuggled closer, and Alex was suddenly beyond grateful her sister was there. “I’ve never seen you warm up to someone this fast. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you warm up to someone so much, period.”
“I warmed up to you,” Alex grumbled.
“That took years, Alex. You’ve known Maggie for like two weeks.”
Alex pursed her lips and rolled her eyes, but she didn’t dispute the facts. “I went to see her tonight at the station,” she admitted, relieved Kara hadn’t batted an eye at her confession to being attracted to a woman. It made this easier.
“And,” Kara prodded gently.
“I kinda, sort of, asked her out.”
“And,” Kara said again.
“Her hot girlfriend showed up and kissed her right in front of me.”
Kara grimaced dramatically and Alex almost, almost laughed.
“Yeah,” Alex sighed.
“Are they serious?”
“What difference does it make?”
“Plenty!” Kara huffed. “Maggie likes you, Alex. I’ve seen it with my own two eyes, and need I remind you, I have really good eyes.” Kara set her ice cream down and wrapped her arm around her sister, pulling Alex’s closer. “You two… click. You have chemistry.”
Alex gave her sister a look and swallowed another bite of ice cream. “No.” She pointed her spoon at Kara in warning.
“No what?”
“You’re plotting. Even without x-ray vision I can see the wheels turning in your Kryptonian skull. Let it be, Kara.”
Kara pouted slightly. “But you like her.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It matters to me.” Kara stuck her spoon in Alex’s ice cream. “Operation Sanvers is a go. I will figure this out.”
“Operation Sanvers?”
“Or do you prefer Maglex? Algie? How about…?”
“Stop. Please stop.” Alex shook her head, her mood lightening in the wake of her sister’s silliness. “She’s taken, Kara,” she added sadly.
“Yeah, with you,” Kara shot back. “Look, if I find out she’s serious with this woman, I’ll back off, but if she’s not…”
“I knew I should have kept my mouth shut.”
Kara grinned. “I already have a plan. A foolproof technique, in fact, to get Maggie Sawyer’s full attention.”
Alex stared down into her pint of ice cream. “Maybe it’s time to switch to alcohol…”