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The Comic Strip Presents: a Bullsh*ters Slash

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EPISODE SUMMARY-DI5 Commander Jackson's theater student daughter is taken and held hostage by a couple pub performers in the hopes of using her ransom to build a vaudeville theater "for the people". Commander Jackson is suspended from duty by his boss the Admiral because he is too close to the case. Not wanting to just sit back and be helpless, he gets his right-hand man, Thompson to call in the Bullshitters, two former DI5 agents who have since gone their separate ways. Foyle is now a serious West End Actor and Bonehead is the founder of 'Knobs School for TV Tough Guys.' Jackson convinces Bonehead to come back for this mission and has him talk Foyle into it. After catching one of Foyle's performances, Bonehead talks Foyle into joining him on the case after telling him the kid-knapped victim is an actress. When the two arrive at the Safe House the next day, Commander Jackson briefs them on the case, they initially refuse when they find out that they will not be allowed their full equipment or fast cars (they must instead use bus passes and public phones). Jackson ends up blackmailing the two into working with the very evidence that got the pair thrown out of DI5 in the first place. Bonehead had been given the Gay Serum by KGB agents that lead to photos and an eventual trial. Before they get the lab reports on the ransom tape, Bonehead and Foyle kick it around the Safe House in briefs and boots, generally doing petty squabbling over Bonehead being the action-y tough guy and foyle being the slightly pretentious artiste. When they do get the lab reports, they deduce that the kid-knappers must be pub performers and run all over London looking for them in what is a spoof of a good old-fashioned 70s style car chase montage. But, instead of fast cars and walkie-talkies, they are running around in underwear, boots, and leather jackets, hoping on and off buses and shouting into public phones. Bonehead eventually hooks them up with some jeans as they go into one more pub, which happens to be the pub that the kid-knappers work at. (It is worth mentioning here, that up until the pub there is plenty of evidence that could support the idea these two could be a pair, it is subtle enough that the general audience wouldn't notice it, but fans wearing slash goggles would). In the pub, Bonehead figures out that they performers are the kid-knappers but Foyle says to wait because they still need to know where the victim is. After some altercations in the pub that could be pointed to jealousy, Bonehead loses his temper and calls the kid-knappers out. This leads to the kid-knappers fleeing the pub with Bonehead and Foyle on their tails. The two chase them to the docks/harbor where they run into Commander Jackson who has also found out the kid-knappers location. They split up, with the commander calling desperately calling for his daughter and Bonehead and Foyle running around, asking inane questions and being macho while shedding more layers of clothes and closing in on the suspects. They eventually slide down a small slope of loose gravel near the large moving van where the kid-knappers are and hear a gunshot.
-- This is where my ficlet picks up. They do fulfill slash fans by kissing and confessing love, but after that, I go AU, because I DEEMED IT SO!. Have fun with the smut. --