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Everyone Overeats on Halloween, Right?

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“Uhh,” Bruce moaned, as he poured across the couch and loosened the strings of his sweats. Tony chuckled and burrowed beside him. Although Bruce was mostly out of costume (not that it was much of a costume anyway), Tony was still in his. Well, the parts that were still comfortable enough to wear, anyway: leggings, fluffy shirt, faded scar across one cheek.

Holding back a giggle, Tony removed his tricorne and placed it gently - but slightly askew - on Bruce’s wild curls. “We should’ve gone as pirates together.”

Bruce snorted. He ran a hand across his forehead, scratching where the feather tickled his brow, and the hat toppled behind the couch.


When Tony shifted to get up, Bruce stilled him with a heavy hand on his thigh. “Nah, get it later,” Bruce sighed. “I don’t feel like moving, even in the slightest. Even if it’s secondary movement from you getting up.”

Tony’s smirk deepened. “Too full?”

“Way, way too full.” Bruce burped softly and winced before rubbing a hand across his bloated belly. “That last piece of pie ala mode. I probably should’ve left it at thirds.”

“Or fourths,” Tony teased. He dragged the candy dish over with his foot, and slowly straightened, eliciting another grumpy moan from Bruce. But he grabbed a fun-sized Snicker from the dish and carefully balanced across Bruce’s enormous stomach, as if planting a flag atop a tall mountain peak. If Bruce’s stomach were a mountain, he’d be the equivalent of Kilimanjaro. Or Yerupajá.

“You asshole,” Bruce sighed, and he grabbed the candy tottering on his belly and unwrapped it with his chubby fingers. He popped it in his mouth and chewed quickly, emphasizing the wobble of his double-chin. “You’re the reason why I’ve gotten so fat.”

“Oh, no. Don’t pin that on me, Big Guy.” Tony’s smile turned slightly sharp, but still teasing. He grabbed the candy dish from the floor while ignoring Bruce’s small whimper, and placed it between them on the couch. “Grazing has become your modus operandi since you started bunking in the tower. You’re king of the see-food diet.”

As if proving his point, Bruce grabbed another chocolate piece from the rapidly diminishing dish and angrily unwrapped it. Glaring at Tony, he popped it in his mouth. “Fine. But you’re still an enabler.”

Tony’s smile softened. “Yeah. Okay. I’ll concede that point.”

His smirk turned positively devious, and he launched himself from the couch, ignoring Bruce’s pitiful whimper.

“Tony-y-y,” Bruce whined. “Why–?”

“In a minute,” he explained, which really wasn’t much of explanation. Tony rooted around the freezer until he found what he was looking for. He came back with it, and a spoon. He pursed his lips; in his absence, Bruce had eaten a few more fun size bars from the dish, because it was definitely lower than it had been before he’d left.

Bruce groaned loudly as Tony wiggled the pint container of ice cream. “Ugh, I can’t even look at it. I told you, I’m too full.”

“Yeah, tell me another one, Candyman.” He flopped next to Bruce, who bit back a growl, and opened the container. “I see three wrappers in your fat fist.”

“That’s different,” Bruce mumbled. But he was eyeing the container with curiosity, and maybe a bit of food lust. “Fun size bars don’t count.”

“Uh, huh.” Tony stabbed the ice cream with the spoon, but hid the container label from Bruce’s view. The man made pitiful attempts to shift his gaze to get a better look, but Tony moved the label just out of reach so he couldn’t see.

“Give it,” Bruce demanded. He held out his palm, but Tony laughed and held it further from Bruce’s chubby hands.

“Thought you said you weren’t hungry.”

“I’m not, dammit,” Bruce growled. “But–”

“I’ll give it to you on one condition,” Tony smirked.

Bruce shook his head and ran his hands down his jowls. “No. And you can’t bribe me.”

“Can’t I?” Tony hummed in his throat and pretended to lap at the spoon with the tip of his tongue. He watched through half-lidded eyes as Bruce licked his lips. And despite how many courses he’d put away at dinner (not to mention all the extra helpings plus desserts), Bruce’s traitorous stomach rumbled appreciatively.

Tony crowded in delight. “Hah!”

“That’s just a Pavlovian response,” Bruce shot back, but Tony saw how the man was nearly salivating.

“But you still want it, cause I have it, and you don’t.”

“You’re the embodiment of a six-year-old jackass,” Bruce spat, but he still closed his eyes and opened his mouth.

“So this means you want it. I win, right?”

“What do you think, you little sh–”

Tony crammed the spoon into Bruce’s complaining maw, cutting off the retort before he had the chance to open his eyes. Bruce clamped his lips around the spoon and Tony watched with satisfaction as pure bliss reworked Bruce’s annoyed expression.

“Oh, hell yes,” Bruce finally sighed. He licked the spoon dry and opened his eyes to make grabby hand at the carton. Grinning in triumph, Tony gave it to him.

“Thai curry pumpkin,” Tony explained, though of course Bruce already knew. “Had it flown in special, from that little ice cream place you loved so much.”

“Jeni’s,” Bruce whispered, cramming another spoonful in his mouth. He closed his eyes again and moaned low in his throat, and Tony shifted awkwardly beside him. “Mmpf,” Bruce mumbled, mouth full. “I’m bein’ rude. I’m gonna it eat all, unless you take it from me.”

Tony held up a hand. “No worries. I bought enough to last you a week, so there’s more in the freezer.”

“A week, huh?” Bruce chuckled and his belly jiggled with him. “Don’t count on it.”

“That good?”

Bruce nodded and kindly shared one his last spoonfuls with Tony. Tony tasted it and enjoyed the crazy flavor mix dancing on his tongue, but his attachment to the flavor combo wasn’t anything like Bruce felt. He figured Bruce’s childhood memories were tied into the ice cream flavors as well.

“Good, right?”

“It’s good,” Tony agreed. He gave Bruce back the spoon, and enjoyed seeing the serene smile floating between his boyfriend’s fluffy cheeks.

“Every once in awhile,” Bruce murmured, “when I visited my aunt, uncle, and cousin I’d go on family trips with them. The pinnacle was a stop at Jeni’s, on the way back home. We never went on trips in autumn, so I never had the chance to try their Thai pumpkin, but I’d always wanted to…”

He gave Tony the empty container and gazed up fondly. “How did you know?”

Tony shrugged. “A little cousin told me, when I was asking whether or not she was coming up for the holidays.”

Bruce nodded, smiling. “Of course she did.” But after a rumbling sigh Bruce grimaced, and ran a hand across his complaining tummy. “Oof. But now I’ve really overdone it.”

“Here. Let me.”

Tony slowly flicked his fingers beneath Bruce’s strained orange sweater. The sweater, combined with his absolute roundness, proved Bruce was clearly okay showing off his weight gains. He had the right amount of girth and heft now to mimic a pumpkin to perfection - and if people still weren’t sure of his costume, the jack-o-lantern face across the front was a dead giveaway.

Bruce smothered a belch beneath a curved fist. “God, I’m so fucking fat.”

“Not compared to a hippopotamus. Or a Beluga whale.”

“Hah, hah,” Bruce grunted.

Bruce had bought his sweater a month or so before Halloween and it had fit then, but now it barely covered him. In fact, Tony had to catch himself from shivering with lust during the party because when Bruce moved just right, he’d expose his thick, putty middle. Scandalous, really. Worse, Bruce knew exactly what he was doing, and stretched on purpose a few times, just to watch the blush creep across Tony’s cheeks during the night. Which was one reason why Tony had no qualms against teasing Bruce now.

“Don’t sweat it, Bruce,” Tony murmured. His voice had lowered, becoming more sultry, and Bruce inhaled deeply. “Besides, I know you secretly like it.” His fingers lightly tugged Bruce’s doughy love handles on their way to his super tight tum. “You love the comfort being fat brings, along with the attention. You pretend not to like it, but you do, you faker. Because they’re noticing you for you, and not the Hulk.”

Bruce wiggled a little, and scrunched into the couch. The couch creaked beneath his weight, and Tony realized they’d need to upgrade soon; another four months or so, and the couch wouldn’t support them both - not to mention, if Bruce and Steve sat anywhere together. Or God forbid, Thor and Bruce.

He was still thinking about new furniture designs when Bruce’s warm hand met his. Bruce moved their hands in tandem, until they reached the top of his domed belly. Tony snorted.

“There, huh?”

“There,” Bruce agreed. “And maybe I do like the attention. But only a little,” he said petulantly. “As long as it’s people we know.”

“Well, you haven’t really left the tower in over a year,” Tony said. “If you went out now, I doubt the press would even recognize you.”

“Oh, they would,” Bruce groused. He rumbled happily and hiccuped, as Tony began massaging him in all the right spots. “They’d find a way.”

“Well,” Tony said, kissing an exposed part of Bruce’s stomach. “I guess staying in does cure that. And who says I wanna share you with the world? Maybe I wanna keep all of this juiciness for myself.”

Bruce squawked and laughed when Tony softly bit him. “Yikes! Stop–ooh, I’m too full. And that tickles. Seriously, I will throw up on you.”

“Never happen,” Tony said. He rubbed the spot he’d bitten, and felt Bruce sink deeper into the couch. “How ‘bout this. I fix you up some peppermint tea, we wait about thirty minutes or so, and we take the rest of this Halloween party upstairs. Get really wild with it.”

Bruce wrinkled his nose and briefly glanced around the mess. Tony’s parties were legendary - more legendary for the messes to clean afterwards.

“The bots’ll get most of the cleaning done, Brucie. I’ve told you they can, even though you insist on cleaning up yourself. Plus, I have a service - “

“Tony, I don’t want to add, ‘lazy’ to my fat moniker,” Bruce complained.

“Okay, no service, then. But I don’t want you cleaning right now. I wanna do other things.”

Bruce smiled a little shyly at him. “You really do like me this big, don’t you?”

“That’s what I keep tellin’ ya.” He squeezed Bruce’s giant thigh, then used his hand to help himself off the couch. Bruce’s body made a big enough gully that it was hard to get to his feet, without a little extra leverage.

But then he caught Bruce’s eye, and stared him down, so Bruce saw and heard him. “You’re a giant teddy bear, inside and out. And I love every inch of you. So grow, stay the same, shrink…doesn’t matter. But I love you and your squishy softness. Always will.”

Tony waited until Bruce returned his smile, then he gave him a deep kiss across his deliciously full lips.

“I’ll end up eating you out of house and home, y’know.”

“Sounds kinky,” Tony said as Bruce rolled his eyes. Tony waved a hand at him. “Whatever. Good thing I’m a billionaire, then. We can afford it.” He gave Bruce another deep kiss and rubbed his hand across Bruce’s belly a few times before heading for the kitchen, for the tea.

He whistled a little to himself as he set the kettle. Maybe Jeni’s would consider selling a branch to Stark Enterprises.