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Maida

Summary:

Northern lights meet milky way.

Jordan joining the band creates a whole new dynamic Lee might not be able to deal with.

Notes:

Oli/Lee is my baby but I do have a certain fondness for Jordan so this was the only natural course of action to take, right?

Chapter 1: Can You Feel My Heart

Chapter Text

In the beginning - and a small part of Lee's brain, the tiny, eight year old catholic school apple of his mothers eye part reminds him that that's exactly how the bible started and didn't that work out well for everyone involved – they're just friends.

Unconventional friends sure, because even back in school when he was thinner and played soccer and dated Caroline Mitchells for a whole three months before she dumped him for Isaac Moham they'd been operating on entirely different levels, loud and quiet, obnoxious and painfully polite. Oli was and is everything that he isn't, tall and dark and not all that mysterious but charming in a completely uncouth, rebellious sort of way and to this day Lee's still not sure why Oli even asked him to be in the band in the first place, just turned up outside his council flat one afternoon in his lemon of a car with their mutual friend Curtis in tow along with a healthy supply of cigarettes and alcohol, origin unknown but hopefully not stolen.

The rest as they say, is history.

Their shitty high school band has made it, so much so that he owns guitars he only dreamed of seeing in shop windows or on Ebay and it doesn't seem so much like bragging now when he thinks that he can actually play them, appreciate them so much more than just a colourful conveyor of angry and loud.

He stays in contact with Curtis even though they've had their fair share of laughs and jokes at his expense, trading off occasional emails and he knows the other man has caught a few of their more recent shows, time enough for all of them, even Oli, to grow up and move past all the negativity.

Him and Oli have always been close, though it'd be a push to say they're the best friends in the band as Vegan's usually his mate of choice and if you're missing both Oli and Matt they're probably together doing something bloody stupid. They're the kind of friends who can be relied upon to understand the other even if no one else does and anyone who's ever met Oli can attest to not knowing what the fuck he's on about at least once a day.

Jona had seemed like such a good thing, a turning point and Lee had made the mistake of trusting him with his and Oli's friendship, letting him into their more private moments, many an epic hangover spent curled up with each other, careful words traded while the rest of the world sleeps. The honesty in Oli's expression is the only thing that keeps him from running when they end up taking things in a direction he couldn't have predicted, trusts himself to know that it's the right thing, what he wants even if he struggles to admit it.

Under the sheets in a dingy hotel bed Oli calls him all kinds of nice things he's sure he doesn't deserve, ragged breath in his ear assuring him that one day he'll be at peace.

It typical British fashion however, when it rains it pours. Jona is mean. Not all the time and not in front of everyone but when it's just the band he's vicious, even more so when Matt's not around to persuade him to back off. Oli gets worse before he gets better and Jona is a constant drain on what little emotional resources Lee has left after trying to come to terms with just how close they'd been to loosing him, words cutting and full of cheap shots about how he looks and how he plays.

He'd would be lying if he said he hadn't considered giving Jona what he was obviously playing at; getting him to leave the band. He doesn't because he refuses to give Jona the satisfaction, go back on the in-retrospect frankly disgusting blood pact they'd made when they'd first become a band, let go of Oli even for a moment no matter how inadequate he feels.

How they're supposed to make an album he doesn't know but when Oli says that's what they're doing they all agree. All five of them retreat to the Lakelands, tucked up in a gorgeous cabin between the fells and an imposing grey shoreline and Oli's ideas are bigger than them all, visions created from desperation and coming out the other side. He writes constantly, sends them all nearly mad with his twisting, turning concepts that are sometimes beyond their ability to create and more than once Lee has to follow him out into the cold to chase away the dark that Jona continues to spread.

The blonde isn't impressed with their mutual agreement to try something different, embrace the more technical elements of music production and is incredibly vocal about it, pushing for guitar parts that even Lee has to argue back are excessive. They come up with sequences shoddily hashed together with Garageband and it quickly becomes obvious they're going to need more people to help them out since Vegan's the only one of them who can play around with software enough to kind-of-not-really add the synth and other instruments they're chasing. Lee decides not to mention his ability to play a few nursery rhymes on piano mostly because he's worried that they'll run with it and next thing he knows there's a song on the album with Baa Baa Black Sheep on loop and that's just a step too far.

Jona and Oli fight their way through their final two weeks and Oli isn't completely blameless, has always been up for a fight, pushing and taunting Jona right back, plates and glasses smashing against the limestone floor before they retreat back to their respective corners faces snarling and lips split. Only once in that time does Lee get anything more than a gentle nudge to the shoulder before they go to their separate beds, a single chaste kiss when they're both awake just before sunrise, cold chill of the open fridge doors they're standing between because he'd had a craving for blueberries.

They end up having to get Ian to drive down to pick them up, Oli and Jona refusing to share a car with each other for the trip home. Matt pats him firmly on the back and shoves him towards the Syke's car, says he'll deal with shit for brains and Lee's quietly appreciative, Oli's head heavy on his shoulder as the other man sleeps the entire way back. He's skinny, all height and bones, stripped down to the core.

A week later finds them in a studio even though all their half-cocked ideas are still exactly that, their producer simply raising his hands in defeat a few days in and leaving them with a few session guys to help them flesh out their fledging thoughts. At first they're nameless faces and it's difficult, working with people that don't know them, judgemental strangers with their own lives and agendas that don't necessarily pander to that of a group of angsty Northerners with heedy dark sides. The violinist is a middle-aged man in tailored pants, Matt immediately at odds with the percussionist after mentioning his football allegiances and the keyboardist insignificant, always watching them quietly with an eye Lee can't quite work out.

Oli and Jona forge a fragile ceasefire and they do manage to start piecing things together, late nights spent hunched over his notebook scrawling away, the rest of them putting their nervous energy into coming up with something, anything that might fit with the lyrics they've barely seen, melodies that seem only to exist in Oli's head.

They sleep in the building, the floor above holding a few scantily decorated bedrooms, a common room with television and Vegan brings along his Nintendo and X-Box for late night Mario Kart marathons, the ancient lounges piled high with blankets brought along by each of them to compensate for the lack of heating. The keyboardist stays with them in a room by himself down the end of the hall, something about him being from Australia and having nowhere else to be. He's in the studio before them and long after they've gone, Lee only catching him in the kitchen sometimes grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge or throwing away the wrappers from the large amount of takeaway salads he seems to be eating. Jona doesn't seem interested in engaging his antipodean counterpart and so they fall to keeping their distance.

There's no shortage of gear in the studio but definitely a shortage of knowledge between them on how to use it and after about half an hour of Jona and Vegan getting increasingly short-tempered with each other over translating something to midi, a guitar riff that Oli's decided would be more interesting as a distorted piano instead the keyboardist finally makes a move from his space across the room.

“I'd say I don't want to intrude but that's essentially what you're paying me to do” He says gently, “At least let me show you the basics”

“Don't touch the recording” Oli says defensively, dark circles under his eyes betraying the lack of sleep he's getting, the stress he's under trying to get this off the ground, keep himself above water.

“Just the basics, so you can move things around, sequence them, any involvement from me would be on a separate track, just suggestions”

If anything, the keyboardists quiet observations of them have made him cautious, unconfrontational. Helpful even, but that could be said of anyone trying to take home a cheque at the end of the day.

It's well after dark by the time they're even close to having any idea what they're doing and the keyboardist has made a couple of quick tracks for them to play with, hands moving effortlessly over the keys and tapping away at the programs like it's second nature, the way Lee himself slides his fingers over the frets of his guitar.

That's been a bone of contention as well; Jona is still of the opinion he's gods gift to the six string and Lee doesn't want to fight in front of these strangers, completely ignores all the shit Jona's saying about rhythm this and lead that until he takes himself off into one of the booths with a bottle of wine and his electric and it'd be a lie to say Lee isn't made happier by the silence.

Matt returns from a drum session sweaty and red-faced, seems perplexed that they haven't really achieved anything while he's been gone.

“You're telling me” He says wryly, “That in four hours all you've done is record a minute and a half of keyboard that isn't even part of any song?”

It does sound stupid when said out loud.

“We should make the whole album drums” Matt continues to mutter, “Much less complicated”

“It's actually helped a lot” Vegan retorts, “Thanks, uh - “ There's a pause where they all seem to realise that none of them know the guys name.

“Jordan” He says politely, as if they haven't just been completely self-centred assholes, “Jordan Fish”

Matt and Vegan head off then, plans to pick up Thai food and beer in the works and they grab Jona on their way out, the silence after they leave very, very awkward. Oli's too exhausted to be his usual charming self, save Lee from the social disaster he always is.

Jordan seems undeterred, pulls out his phone and gives it a cursory look before pocketing it again.

“Anything else you want to know before I knock off too?” He asks and Lee's fully prepared to say no but Oli sits up from where he's been lying on the floor, unsticks a piece of paper that's become stuck to his hands.

“If I told you how I wanted something to sound, could you play it, the way it's in my head?”

It's said so quietly it's merely a whisper, as if Oli isn't sure he should be asking, half-expects to be laughed out of the room.

“I can try” Jordan says, rolling his chair back over to his keyboard, “Have a go at explaining and i'll see what I can do”

Oli hesitates, gives Lee a worried look and Lee shrugs, once again avoids mentioning the only thing he can play being Baa Baa Black Sheep.

Nothing comes of it – Oli struggling to explain exactly the sound he's searching for and Jordan's obviously wary of stepping on anyones toes, looks relieved when Matt hammers on the door and hollers that they're back and if they want to eat they'd better move their asses.

“Did you want to play?”

They've caught Jordan on another trip to the bin, empty water bottles in hand and he pauses, the bright light of the FIFA game they're about to start making his shadow flicker against the back wall. Vegan's apparently decided that the other man is worthy of an invitation and they all fall silent.

“I'm not particularly good” Jordan says carefully, “As long as no one minds that i'd be in”

“You can be on Lee's team then” Jona ribs, “Won't matter much”

“Fuck off” Lee grumbles, he's not that fucking bad.

They're playing two-a-side, Matt ditching them to talk to his girlfriend on the phone in his room and Oli pointedly turns the game volume up a bit.

“I'll ref, thumbs hurt” Vegan announces, handing over his controller and they all have to squish in a bit to make room for Jordan, Oli's bony elbow pressing into his side as he ends up throwing his legs across Lee's lap, warm and heavy and Lee just can't find the energy to bother trying to move him.

Predictably he and Jordan loose, Jona smirking at him and Oli cackling with a far more good natured intent when Jordan manages to kick an own goal on two separate occasions.

Lee works on his own set of notes, tries to remember to write down all the guitar parts he's working on so at least there's something to show their producer, something that maybe they can work from. He tosses ideas back and forth with Vegan, the two of them spending a few hours in a booth playing off each other and swapping instruments around lunch time for a bit of a break. Bass is way harder than Vegan makes it look, one of the thick strings creating a nice, red welt on his hand when he tightens it just a hair too much.

Oli's pacing back and forth with his headphones on as Lee passes him to get a Coke from the ancient but well-stocked vending machine downstairs, Jona nowhere to be seen and he doesn't really think about Jordan until he's on his way back, catches the faintest sound, a familiar song that he just can't place.

He follows the music, picks up the sound of someone singing but not able to make out the words, eventually traces it to a tiny corner room at the very back of the building, Jordan sitting on a small stack of milk crates playing a rather rough looking piano and the song suddenly comes into a sharp focus, Jordan's voice rising and falling with the Bon Iver track and the change from guitar to keys is why it's taken Lee an ashamedly long time to pick out one of his favourite songs.

Vegan can wait, it'd be bad karma to not listen to the rest. Jordan's no doubt more talented than they've been interested in knowing. As is his style Lee just watches quietly and when the song finishes and Jordan picks up something else a bit quicker, bit more upbeat he makes his way out, song now most likely stuck in his head for the rest of the day.

Something in him wants to share Jordan with everyone, so he slips around and recruits them, curiosity pulling Oli from his pacing and Matt from his drums with ease as he leads them back to Jordan who's playing something else now, mournful and classical but his voice is still just as good. They peer around the corner in comedic style, height order all on one side of the door, just their heads and finish out the song, quickly disappearing when it ends just in case Jordan turns around and catches them stalking him like creeper.

“He's not too bad, in'he?” Matt says, loudly – too loudly for how close they still are walking down the hall.

“Not half-bad at all” Vegan agrees.

“He was playing Bon Iver before, that's how I found him” Lee adds and Oli snorts.

“You're such a fanboy”

Lee flips him off, because if he's done some social media stalking no one needs to know but him.