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The Chosen One Club 2: The Summoning of Trolls and Other Supernatural Problems

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Though the location was not particularly welcoming from the outside (or, truth be told, on the inside), the group was still ushered in by bowing, masked servants, with the utmost hospitality. Standing in the large antechamber that served as a living room, the group looked around in awe - well, not really. They'd all seen grander, more brutal. In fact, most of them just looked bored.

"I don't understand why you're here," Nathan Explosion grunted from the sofa. "Or why I'm here." He glared. "Who *are* you people?"

Charles Ofdenson cleared his throat. "Ah, Nathan, we talked about this." He turned to the group and shrugged, not apologetically, because Charles would never apologize for Nathan, but simply shrugged.

"I still don't get it," Nathan replied, turning back to the massive television mounted on meat-hooks.

"It's 'cause my mom is sick of her house getting wrecked," Mighty Max offered, wandering over to one of the more grotesque statues in the room and eying it critically.

"And Buffy doesn't trust Anakin in hers. Oh, and Usagi's parents don't know she's a Moon Princess, and I'm afraid Hogwarts and the Jedi Temple have very strict vistation policies," Harry Potter added, pushing his glasses up his nose.

"Hey, why don't you trust me?" Anakin Skywalker demanded of Buffy Summers, a pout threatening to form. 

"Three guesses, Glow Rod," Buffy spat back. 

"They are having sex, right?" Usagi, the newest member besides Nathan Explosion, asked Harry in a hushed whisper. Harry just sighed and rubbed his temples.

"Right. So." Charles turned to the other, older group. "Shall we go to my office?" There was a hesitation, then, "I have brandy."

The Chosen One Club stood in front of the couch, gawking at their newest member. Nathan, for his part, made a point of looking simultaneously extremely bored and highly uncomfortable. "Stop looking at me," he demanded after a moment. 

"DethKlok is my favorite band," Anakin offered. 

"Of course it is, psycho," Buffy muttered under her breath. 

Anakin whirled around. "What was that?" he demanded. 

"Nevermind," Harry said, holding up his hands placatingly. "Welcome to the club," he said to Nathan.

"I have no idea who you people are," Nathan repeated, and changed the channel, settling on a documentary about lion mating habits. The other members of the Chosen One Club looked at each other dubiously, then settled on the floor to watch.


"It's too quiet," Obi-Wan said, frowning. "No one has tried to decapitate or stake anyone yet. Something's wrong."

"Perhaps they're actually having a conversation?" Luna suggested.

"You're new here," Giles replied, running a hand through his hair. "There's a reason we had to move the meetings to Mordhaus."

"Speaking of, I believe next time we should see if the Guardians would like to join us," Virgil said. He looked out the window behind Charles' expansive desk. "Norman would certainly appreciate the... ambiance."

"Well, Max is the only one who really has a Guardian, per se," Dumbledore pointed out. "The rest of us serve that capacity as well, more often than not, or there is more than one who serves the function."

"Well, I think this is a good arrangement," Charles said, pouring the brandy. "DethKlok needs the allies it can get, particularly considering the rest of your charges'... lines of work. It would be much easier, for instance, to dispatched a summoned troll with a wizard on our side."

"And how often are trolls summoned?" Dumbledore asked, leaning forward. 

"Often enough," Charles sighed.


By the time the Mentor's meeting was called to a close, the Chosen One club had taken to the hot tub, Buffy making a point to sit as far away from Anakin as possible. 

"It's time to go," Obi-Wan said, motioning for Anakin to get out of the hot, bubbling water. 

"Hey, can you autograph my chest?" Anakin asked Nathan as he and the others climbed out of the hot tub.

"No. Go away."

Anakin shrugged, and turned. "Eyes to yourself, Light Bright," Buffy snapped, crossing her arms over her (fully clothed) chest.

"Like you have anything worth looking at," Anakin scoffed, and then took off at a run as Buffy pulled out a freshly-sharpened stake. 

Giles and Obi-Wan exchanged glances. "That's more like it," the Watcher sighed. 

"Feels like home," Obi-Wan agreed.