Actions

Work Header

Deadpool's Crush on Green Lantern

Work Text:

“Wade! Harry Potter is not a superhero!”

“Yes! Yes he is. He has powers. He is a god damn wizard ninja!”

“No, superheroes are not born with powers. That’s the point!”

“That is the dumbest thing you have ever said Spidey”

“What?!”

“I was born with powers, Logan too.”

“MUTANT! That’s different!”

“Oh, so now mutants aren’t heroes!”

“No! That’s not what I meant!”

“But that’s what you said!”

“Okay but-“

“Who would you consider a superhero then? Yourself?”

“No! Bruce! Steve!”

“Bruce just gets pissed. And, Steve is a lab experiment!”

“Still, they BECAME what they are.”

“So, Thor isn’t a superhero? Wasn't he born the way he is!”

“On his planet, no, he is not a superhero. Here he is.”

“Same thing as Harry Potter! In the wizarding world he his normal, but to muggles he’s a superhero!”

“It’s still different Wade! We don’t need a stick for us to have powers!”

“He doesn’t always need a wand!”

"Mostly!"

“No, shut your mouth. You’re just coming off as stupid.”

“How! I bet your going to tell me Gandalf is a superhero now.”

“Don’t you dare bad mouth, Gandalf! And, another thing, so, you are telling me Superman is not a superhero? Or Batman?”

“On Krypton he is just another dude! Batman… I don’t know. I have no argument for that.”

“Oooh, who do you think would win against Superman and Hulk?”

“Pfft, Hulk.”

“What! Superman can FLY!”

“Yeah, and Hulk can jump for miles!”

“Laser vision.”

“Scott, can’t even penetrate Hulk’s skin with his vision and I’m sure he is more powerful in that aspect that Superman.”

“Peter, now you’re not even making any sense.”

“Yes I am! Hulk could just hold onto Superman’s cape as he tried to fly away.”

“Ha. Please. Superman would fly his big green ass into the sun.”

“Oh, yeah. Like Green Lantern? God, you have such a boner for him! Why?”

“Dude, have you seen his bod. That man is attractive.”

“Whatever. You just think you look like him.”

“I do not! I’m obviously more badass then him.”

“Oh, so badass that you had to be experimented on it all your cool powers? Almost, like… Oh Steve!”

“Don’t go there, Spidey.”

“I just did, Pooly.”

“Back on topic. Tony? Clint? Natasha? Superhero or not?”

“Yes.”

“WHAT!?”

“They are highly skilled assassins!”

“I’m a highly skilled assassin!”

“And, I would consider you a superhero!”

“I thought I was a mutant…”

“You are! You can be both!”

“But, Thor, Superman, and Harry Potter can’t?”

“Ugh, Wade. You are NOT getting what I’m saying!”

“Because, you aren’t making any god damn sense. You don’t even know what you are saying!”

“Yes I do! Avengers, you, me, X-men, Fantastic Four, Superman, Batman… Justice League people in general. Superheroes. Harry Potter. Not.”

“Still makes no sense.”

“Whatever.”