Summers in the ATL are always unbearably hot, and as expected on a Friday in mid July it was a scorcher well into the late afternoon. Well after 5 pm and 94 humid degrees with no breeze in sight in fact, much to the disdain of everyone unfortunate enough to be out in the middle of it. It had been a busy day for bike and car sales at Dixon Brothers Autos & Cycles dealership, but long and slow for the resident mechanics on hand to do repairs at the in-house body shop. All day they’d been watching the clock, counting down the hours until closing time at 6. Over half of the team had clocked out earlier in the afternoon and were long gone and those who’d remained were all wishing they’d followed suit. After finishing up the few jobs they had left over from the morning, the guys had spent the last two hours chilling in the break room, enjoying the AC while engaged in a lively game of poker over a few pizzas and ice cold light beers, courtesy of the bosses; Merle and Daryl Dixon respectively, who by that time were done with sales for the day and were each taking a turn in the wash room that adjoined their respective offices to freshen up and get changed after their long day before heading out to make their dinner reservations on time.
Just then in the shop, the service bell rang, indicating that someone had tripped the cord on the rear lot and was in need of assistance. The remaining mechanics all glanced up through the window at the same moment when they heard the bell; sure enough, a car had just pulled up in the Oil Change express lane.
“Awww shit!” the new guy, Axel, exclaimed with a frown at no one in particular. He then went on in his ‘country’ aka deep rooted southern Georgia drawl. “Just when we’re all about ready to get the hell up outta here, here comes somebody wantin’ sumthin’ at the last damn minute! Who does that? Its twenty-five minutes to 6 on a Friday night! Where in the hell have they been at all day? Ya know, I got half a mind to go out there and just tell ‘em to fuck off!” he exclaimed with a coarse laugh, that no one else chimed in on.
Theodore Douglass, aka T-Dog, Dixon Autos & Cycles’ Master Mechanic and shop foreman, ducked his head out of his office and into the break room and glanced at Axel with a stern look. “Axel! There’s twenty five minutes left on the shift before closing time! You should be glad we got a customer! You just got paid $30 bucks an hour for doing absolutely nothing for the past two hours and haven’t lifted a finger except to grab another slice of free pizza and drain another bottle of free beer. My fiancé is a school nurse and she doesn’t even make that much an hour. You know our motto, ‘No customers, no paychecks!’ We’re all about service here, remember?” he reminded him.
“Just jokin’ T! Gosh!” the older man muttered with a chuckle, but he didn’t dare say anything else about turning the customer away. T-Dog was a friendly, fair and mild mannered manager but he didn’t play when it came to customer service, and Axel didn’t want to get on his bad side and possibly get canned before he got his first full paycheck. He knew that one word from T to either Merle or Daryl and he could kiss this sweet gig goodbye. He’d only been working at the shop for the past couple of weeks, but he came in during the middle of a pay period, so his first check had been short by less than half his expected pay because his first week’s earnings had been ‘in the hole’ as well as gouged for taxes, uniforms, the pension plan and insurances. He was supposed to finally be getting paid a full check that following week and knew he needed to stay off thin ice, but Axel was the type of old fool that just couldn’t help himself sometime.
Glenn Rhee, the shop’s Electronics Specialist, and Abraham Ford, the crew’s Master Welder both just looked at Axel and shook their heads. He was an oddity to them and they weren’t sure if they’d ever get used to him fully.
Axel was in his early fifties and was a skinny, grungy looking, ex-con fresh out of King County Jail. He was also a proud, self-proclaimed ‘backwoods hick,’ with a slack jaw, a receding hairline, and a long, stringy, grey handlebar mustache that made him look like he’d just stepped out of the American Civil War era. He’d just gotten out of jail a month or so prior after serving close to a year for a misdemeanor marijuana possession charge but got the job at the shop because he’d known Merle Dixon years ago in the army.
Merle knew that Axel wasn’t formally trained and left much to be desired in the way of social graces but he was a damned good mechanic who knew how to fix the hell out of all types of cars, trucks and bikes when they were in the service together so when he ran into him down at The Quarry, a popular ‘honky tonk’ bar in town a few weeks back and he’d told him that he’d just gotten out of the slammer and was down on his luck due to needing a gig real bad, Merle told him that he was taking his wife on vacation that following week but if he could pass a drug test when he got back and promised to stay clean he’d give him an entry level mechanic position at his and his brother’s dealership to help him out. Merle had struggled with addiction in the past as well and understood just how badly Axel needed a helping hand as well as a job to help him stay out of trouble.
Axel took and passed the test at the free clinic and when he presented the results to Merle a week later he had himself a job; a good paying job at that. He’d only been working at Dixon’s for a few weeks and so far he’d stayed clean and he got along okay with everyone in the shop, but they all soon found out what Merle already knew; that although Axel was damn good with cars, he was about the LAZIEST son of a bitch alive and the biggest complainer any of them had EVER seen… EVER. They also found out that he cursed a lot, exaggerated a lot and bragged a lot, jumped to conclusions 99 percent of the time, kept his dirty mind in the gutter and gossiped more than the average teenaged girl. Merle laughingly surmised that one of the guys would either strangle him or kick his ass before the month was up, but surprisingly no one had done it yet, and Daryl jokingly reminded him that his first full month wasn’t over quite yet…
T-Dogg went on. “In fact Axel, you’re gonna take care of this last customer. I was gonna handle them myself so the rest of you fellows could leave a little early but it sounds to me like you need a little more customer service training. So, if they need repair service YOU’RE gonna fill out the paperwork and get them set up for an appointment for first thing tomorrow morning and you’re gonna offer them a ride home or set them up with an overnight rental if they need one. And if all they need is an oil change, you’re gonna do it, and top off all their other fluids AND vacuum their rugs! We are the home of the 20 minute oil change so since its now twenty-four minutes to 6 that means they got here just in time with four minutes to spare!” he replied while glancing up at the clock on the wall.
“But…” Axel began.
“No buts!” T-Dog snapped, cutting him off. “You’re wasting time Axel. Just get ‘er done! It’s what we do. That’s why we’ve already gotten over half a dozen customer service awards this year alone and that’s why Daryl & Merle pay us top dollar, plus benefits, plus vacations, plus bonuses and not to mention family & friends sales and repair discounts. You’re here to help folk… don’t forget that’s what you’re getting paid for!”
“Clock’s tickin’,” Abe muttered, then added, “asshole,” under his breath, which made Glenn chuckle, and T-Dog smirk.
"Come on man, git to it!" T snapped.
“Yes, sir!” Axel replied, jumping up and heading outside in a huff.
“Yo T, since Axel’s handling the last customer can Abe & I really go a bit early?” Glenn asked T Dogg. “I gotta get the hell outta here before my eight months, one week and three days pregnant wife kills me,” he groaned.
“Sure man, no problem. How is Maggie doing these days anyway?” T-Dog asked with sincere concern. He’d grown up with Glenn’s wife Maggie and her siblings Sean and Beth, and their parents, The Greene’s, had been good friends with his own folks for years. “I know she’s dying in this heat! She always hated the summertime!” he then added with a chuckle as he, Glenn and Abe quickly cleared the table of their cups and the pizza boxes. “Poor Mags, barefoot and pregnant with twins in the middle of July!” he laughed.
“Poor Mags? Poor me you mean!” Glenn pouted. “I still gotta get up early for work every morning after a long night spent cooking and cleaning then pleasuring her in every single ‘pregnancy safe’ sex position in her Sexually-Satisfied-Mom-To-Be-Handbook, all of which are KILLING my lower back by the way, before helping her to get in and out of the shower all over again and then spend another hour helping her to get comfortable in bed and then I have to massage her back yet again until she falls asleep. She’s been on leave from work at her father’s vet clinic for the past month and a half and all she does is sit at home lounging in bed all day, eating her weight in double-fudge truffle bon bons and get waited on hand and foot by her mom and Beth while watching soap operas with the AC running on high and texting me every other hour, demanding that I come straight home after work to rub her sore back, her painfully tender breasts and her swollen feet since this is ‘all my fault!’ Then she makes me feel guilty by saying that the babies want peanut butter cookies, chili cheese fries, white-chocolate covered pretzels, pepperoni pizza and kosher dill pickles, all of which she wants as soon as I walk in the door. Oh yeah… and if I know what’s good for me I better not forget the funnel cake with extra powdered sugar tonight. In fact, her last text said “The babies want funnel cake now, Daddy!”
“Glenn, where in the world are you gonna get a funnel cake from around here? We're almost an hour away from Six Flags amusement park and the state fair isn’t until the end of September!” T-Dog chuckled.
“I know… but there’s no reasoning with her right now. I’m just gonna stop at Waffle House on my way home and order her a double waffle, and ask them to bake it light then drown it in powdered sugar. All I can do after that is pray that she devours it so fast she won’t know the difference.”
“I think she’ll know, and she’ll probably knock your head off with a baseball bat for trying to trick her but good luck, bruh!” T-Dog chuckled. He knew Maggie’s hair trigger temper all too well.
“Bon-bons, pretzels, chili cheese fries, pizza, funnel cake and pickles?” Abe repeated back with a puzzled frown. “All at the same time? That girl’s got one hell of an appetite. I know she’s having twins but if she keeps eating like that, she’s gonna get big as a house!”
“She already is,” Glenn sighed with a goofy smile. He loved his wife’s recent weight gain. Maggie had always been in great shape from working on her parents farm in the summers and participating in horseback riding competitions since her early teens but her surprise twins for her first pregnancy had quickly filled out her hips and booty and caused what he’d initially referred to as her ‘perfect mouthful’ B cup boobs to explode to a double D cup and since her hormones were in overdrive her sex drive was as well, so he wasn’t complaining!
Abe went on. “I’m just saying man… pickles and pizza and funnel cake just sounds like one hell of a gross ass combination to me.”
“And?” Glenn asked incredulously.
“And… when Sasha was pregnant with Ginger all she wanted was breakfast food. Good old plain breakfast food. Bacon, sausage, eggs, grits, hash browns with onions and Bisquick pancakes.”
“Uh, Abe I hate to break this to you but hash browns with onions are technically called home fries, bruh,” T-Dog interjected with a smirk.
“Right, T, whatever! Like I was saying, all my Sasha wanted during her pregnancy was bacon, sausage, eggs, grits, home fries and Bisquick pancakes with maple syrup. The pancake cravings were the worst of all! She wanted them for breakfast, lunch and dinner! Truth be told, we both craved them terribly the whole 9 months… it got to a point where I was buying boxes of Bisquick mix in bulk… it was pretty strange. I was never much of a breakfast food kind of guy before that… I’m more of a meat and potatoes kind of man. My mom made potatoes with every meal damn near… She's Irish ya know… In fact I’m Irish on both sides of my family… a little Scottish thrown in there too now that I think about it...”
“You don’t say,” T-Dog said in a sarcastic tone, staring pointedly at Abraham’s dead giveaway bright red curls.
“So what’s your point Abe?” Glenn asked, rolling his eyes.
“My point is that my wife never wanted a bunch of weird shit all at one time like your wife!”
Glenn was about to try to defend his hormonal, horny, emotional, and insatiably hungry pregnant wife’s menu preferences when just at that moment, Axel ran back into the shop.
“Hey fellas, ya’ll have just gotta come get a load of that car that just pulled in! Talk about a beauty! It’s a mechanic’s dream come true!”
They filed out onto the parking lot where Axel was oohing and aahing over the fully restored, early 1970’s black on black Ford Mustang with darkly tinted windows and custom made BBS rims. T-Dog, Glenn and Abe all immediately recognized the car, but Axel had never seen it before. “Now that’s what I call a sweet ride,” he exclaimed with a big grin.
“You can say that again,” Abe said with a chuckle, referring to the driver of the car and not the vehicle itself, causing both T-Dogg & Glenn to laugh out loud.
There was an old 90s rock song blasting out of the speakers of the Mustang; possibly Nirvana or maybe the Red Hot Chili Peppers; it was hard to tell, especially when the music suddenly came to a halt as the driver’s side door popped open and a pair of tanned, shapely legs hopped out; legs that started in a pair of nude, high-heeled strappy sandals and ended in a pair of loose fitting, black silk shorts that revealed a sliver of a sexy, toned thigh. The owner of those gorgeous legs was singing loudly off key with a big grin on her pretty face, then she giggled at how badly she’d totally bungled the lyrics. She had a timeless beauty so it was hard to pinpoint her exact age; early to mid-forties some might guess; not that it mattered, she was young at heart and it showed in her expressive doe eyes and girlish smile. She had a short, mixed gray pixie haircut, striking blue eyes with long lashes coated in black mascara, a touch of glossy nude lipstick on her full, pursed lips and an expensive looking pair of gold hoop earrings in her ears. Her gauzy, black top was completely backless, revealing her toned and lightly freckled back and exposing the fact that her small yet perky breasts were braless on the other side. To top off her sexy, yet classy look, a perfect French manicure and matching French pedicure adorned her fingernails and toenails.
Meanwhile, although all of the guys had immediately recognized the car and its owner (well all except for Axel that is) they were all more than a bit surprised to see a second pair of equally sexy, yet longer legs then slide out of the passenger side door encased in a pair of tall, fire engine red, open toed pumps which led up to muscular thighs in a dangerously short, black lace mini-dress. She was laughing out loud at the song lyrics that her companion had just slaughtered. She had a creamy, sun kissed complexion, big blue eyes, and long, golden blonde hair that passed her shoulders. A coat of matte red lipstick decorated her full lips and although her neatly trimmed fingernails were polished clear, a bold shade of red that perfectly matched her lipstick adorned her toenails. She looked to be in her mid to late-thirties, and she had a confident, classy air. Both women were drop dead gorgeous, each in their own way and they playfully walked arm in arm with an almost synchronized sexy strut toward the door, much to the admiration of the pit crew who’d assembled outside. As they headed toward the showroom floor’s side entrance, both women waved hello to the guys. Then the one with the short gray haircut let them know that she didn’t need help with the car, she’d only parked there temporarily and would be going inside the showroom. It was apparent that the ladies had business with the Dixon brothers directly and since the shop was closing anyway shortly, T-Dogg didn’t bother asking her if she wanted him to move her car so it wouldn’t block the express Lube & Oil Change Lane; he instinctively knew it would be taken care of in the morning.
Axel let out an audible sigh of relief that he wasn’t needed to service the car, and the rest of the guys waved politely to the women, and were all respectful enough to not stare too long, nor to drool too much on their khaki Dixon Autos uniform jumpsuits over their sexy outfits.
All of them… except for Axel that is... He’d been openly and lustily staring at the ladies since they’d stepped out of the car, and kept on staring the entire time while they walked by him and his beady little eyes almost popped out of his thinning, prematurely balding head. Just before they went inside he let out a loud cat call whistle in their direction, which caused them both to turn back and stare directly at him with surprised expressions. They then looked at each other with amused smirks on their faces before exploding into mocking laughter before going inside.
Axel jumped damn near a foot into the air. “Hot damn fellas did ya’ll see those dames? I’ll be damned if those two chicks weren’t the hottest pieces o’ tail these old eyes have seen in a month of Sundays!” he exclaimed.
“Yeah we saw ‘em,” T-Dog snapped at him. “But if you’re smart, you’ll keep your eyes, and especially your opinions about them to yourself!”
“Why the hell would I do that T? Those two fine bitches got old Axel harder than a roll of quarters over here!” he said with a lewd laugh.
T-Dogg, Abe and Glenn all shook their heads. They’d ALL told Axel REPEATEDLY since he’d started that it was expressly against the owner’s rules for staff to make passes at, whistle at or speak disrespectfully to any females who came into the shop for car service. Dixon’s had a good reputation around town for having fair prices and for not being chauvinistic toward female customers. Axel hadn’t yet quite grasped the concept however, and unbeknownst to him, the two females who’d just gone inside in particular were to be treated with the utmost respect.
“Hey man, I’d watch who I call ‘bitches’ around here if I were you,” warned Abe with a frown. “Those two ladies are…”
“Lesbians!” Axel whispered loudly, cutting him off with a knowing smirk. “I know! I know! But I don’t give a damn! Pussy’s pussy fellas,” he chuckled.
“Lesbians?” they ALL exclaimed in disbelief before bursting into laughter.
“What makes you think they’re lesbians?” T-Dogg nearly choked.
Axel chuckled. “It’s obvious, T! You saw ‘em! They rode in together, thick as thieves, grinnin’ all up in each other’s faces, holding hands and skippin’ and whatnot! And I know y’all saw how long it took ‘em both to get out of the car! They were probably in there kissin' and feeling each other up behind them dark tinted windows the whole time! I’m tellin’ you, the short one with the salt and pepper buzz cut? I’d bet my last twenty that she’s the head honcho carpet muncher of the two. I don’t care how ‘girly’ she looks in those high heels she’s wearin,’ that haircut tells me all I need ta know!”
T-Dogg, Abraham and Glenn all EXPLODED into laughter all over again at hearing that.
“Oh really?” asked T-Dogg with an exasperated sigh.
“Yes, really! But I don’t care one bit ya’ see! That kinky shit is right up my alley!”
“So, you think you got a shot with one of them?” Abe asked while trying to keep a straight face.
“Hell yeah! Both of ‘em in fact! Ya’ll saw how they looked at me! Especially blondie! What a rack! I bet she swings both ways! Probably needs it real bad too after going so long without a real man, ya know? I’ll be more than glad to help her out!” he chuckled, grabbing his crotch lewdly.
“Oh yeah Axel, we all saw just how she looked at you,” Abe said with a smirk.
“That’s right! And I just spent the past year in the clink so having a go with a hot babe like her will help me make up for lost time! Even if they only let me watch I’ll be satisfied with that… but if they both happen to swing both ways, I’ll gladly dip this old gray haired wick in the two of ‘em! I’ll put this Georgia wood to good use... Ole Axel will have the both of 'em beggin’ for more ‘fore the night is through!”
The fellows all burst into laughter again.
“Well what’s so damned funny?” Axel asked, growing quite annoyed.
T-Dogg finally spoke up. “Should I tell him fellas?”
"Please do!" Glenn groaned.
"The sooner the better," Abe chuckled under his breath.
“Tell me what?” Axel asked.
T-Dog sighed. “This… I hate to have to be the one to break it to ya Axel, but those two beautiful ladies aren’t lesbians.”
“They aren’t? Not even ole’ buzz cut?”
“Well then… that’s interesting,” Axel said with a smirk. "That means I got an even better shot at getting in her pants!" he said with a big grin.
“Not really,” Glenn laughed. “That threesome you’re dreaming about isn’t EVER, EVER gonna happen, man,” he laughed with a grin.
“Not even in your WILDEST dreams,” Abe added with a smile.
“Nope!” Glenn and T both added simultaneously.
“Well why the hell not?” Axel asked, truly offended. “I’m a good man with a decent job and a pension! I been divorced twice. My kids are grown and gone. I got my military stipend, I own my own Harley and I even got my own place and ev’rything! I’m paid a full month ahead in my weekly rent for the double wide I’m renting over in the Rainbow Lodge Trailer Park down in Decatur! I'm a hot commodity down there and at all the singles bars in town!”
“Sounds pretty impressive Axel, but did you even look at the license plate on the car they were in?” T-Dog asked.
“Naw, but what’s that got to do with anything?"
“Give it a gander. Oh yeah… and the lady with the “salt-n-pepper buzz cut”, you know, “the head honcho rug muncher,” as you called her has a name. It’s Carol. She’s the car’s owner, by the way.” T-Dog replied.
Axel glanced over at the Mustang then read each letter on the personalized tag aloud. “M-R-S-D-D-X-N.” He scratched his head. “I don’t get it. M-R-S-D-D-X-N. How do you say that anyways? Mor-as-id-ack-sen? Mar-as-dix-a-dene? Hell if I know!” Axel exclaimed.
“It says Mrs. D. Dixon, as in she’s Daryl Dixon’s wife you moron!” Abe hissed.
“Well I’ll be!” Axel exclaimed as he slapped his forehead.
“And ‘Blondie,’ as you called her is named Andrea. She’s an attorney down at Michonne Grimes’ law firm. And even though she frequently brings her S class Mercedes in for a wash and wax every other week, she didn’t need to drive here today because her SISTER IN LAW gave her a ride to meet their husbands for dinner and dancing out on the town tonight, which they are inclined to do most Fridays in summer. You’d know that if you’d been here a little longer. By the way, her tags reads M-R-S-M-D-X-N, as in Mrs. Merle Dixon, in case she ever brings her car in and you have to wash it or work on it!” Glenn added.
Axel’s jaw dropped. “So you mean to tell me that Daryl & Merle… our bosses, are married to that hot pair of lesbians in one o’ those freaky, open marriages? Cool!!!”
“No Axel!” they all exclaimed while shaking their heads in disbelief at just how truly dense he really was.
“For the last time… They’re NOT lesbians!” T-Dogg nearly shouted.
Just then, the two ‘not lesbians’ in question Carol & Andrea, along with their husbands, Daryl and Merle Dixon, respectively, were headed on their way out the side entrance of the showroom to leave for the evening. They all waved goodbye to the mechanics then climbed into Merle’s 4 door Ford F-150 truck to carpool to their dinner reservations at Dale Horvath’s Steakhouse. Just before they pulled off, Daryl jogged over to where the fellows were standing and told T-Dogg that he and his brother would be out pretty late that night with the wives and that they wouldn’t be in until after noon that next day. He then informed him that Tyreese Williams, the dealership’s showroom manager (as well as Abe’s brother in law; he was married to Ty’s sister Sasha), and Rosita, the front desk receptionist, as well as a few other members of the staff would be in first thing to handle any early sales or issues. He then bid them good night with a wink, before joining his party and the happy foursome then sped off into the night.
Axel looked around at the guys with a knowing smirk. “Just as I suspected! They ARE in an open marriage with those two sexy lesbians! Some guys have all the luck!”
The other guys just groaned as they dragged Axel’s CLUELESS ass with them back inside to lock up for the night.