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There's A Reason He Always Wears Suits

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“What is that?”

“Eyes straight ahead in the locker room, Stark.”

“No, seriously, I wasn’t creeping. If I was I’d be looking at Barnes’ ass.”

“Go fuck yourself, Stark.”

“Only if you fuck me first, sweetheart. No, but seriously, Agent, what is that?”

“It is a tattoo.”

“Yes, okay, maybe I wasn’t clear enough. I understand that it’s a tattoo, but why do you have a tattoo of a rose on your hip?”

“That knowledge is need to know.”

“Yes, and I need to know.”

“I highly disagree.”

“What, is it your favorite flower? Is it some symbol? Were you a huge Beauty and the Beast fan as a kid? Oooh! Was it something romantic, like the first present you ever gave Fury was a rose? To show your obvious love for each other?”

“It is a remembrance tattoo for my mother. Her birth month flower is the rose.”

“Oh….Hey, Coulson, I’m sorry! I didn’t know! Come back here and let me—MOTHERFUCKER! Barnes, that was my arm!”

“And next it’s gonna be your face, you insensitive fucktruck!”



“Is that a bow and arrow?”

“Hmmm? Oh, yes.”

“You…have a bow and arrow tattoo. For….”

“For you, Agent Barton.”

“For me?! Why…oh, god. Um, I’m really flattered sir, but Bruce and I are very happy and I don’t—“

“Please stop. It’s not a romantic thing. You were my very first assignment at SHIELD, the very first mission I accomplished completely on my own. It’s a symbol of that.”

“Oh….Well….Am I not good enough for you?!”

“Goodnight, Agent Barton. Please, for the sake of us all, go get some sleep.”



“Son of Coul! Who has marked you thusly?”

“Please let go of my thigh, Thor. This position is very uncomfortable.”

“I say nay! You shall tell me who has put these markings upon you!”

“It was voluntary, I wanted it.”

“Who would wish for such a pathetic fish to be written into their skin?! Surely this was a mistake! The person who did so will pay for marking you with such a weak creature.”

“It is a koi fish, Thor. In Japanese mythology, it was believed if they could complete the journey of swimming against the current up a waterfall, they would be transformed into dragons. It is a symbol of overcoming difficulty and being all the better for experiencing it. I asked for that fish.”

“I do not understand! I know you are a brave man and have fought much, but what battle has caused you to mark memory of it upon your body?!”

“My surviving Loki’s attack and the subsequent struggle through therapy.”

“Ah. I see. My apologies, Son of Coul. Shall I put your leg down now?”




“That tattoo is just gorgeous, Phil. Why don’t you wear short sleeves more often? I would show that off every chance I get.”

“I used to, when I was younger. After I got spit at, things thrown at me, and screamed at for being ‘just another cog in the government’s murder corps’, I decided perhaps showing it off wasn’t the best idea.”

“That’s awful! It’s so gorgeous. The insignia is your Ranger team, right?”

“Yeah. Screaming Panthers. Fastest, fiercest, best.”

“How many times did you yell that across the battle field?”

“Not nearly as often as Nick did. I think I threw something at him once for doing it in the middle of the night.”

“Well, regardless of people’s opinions, it’s stunning. May I touch it?”

“Go ahead. Have you never felt a tattoo before?”

“Can’t say that I have. Raised Catholic, not big fans of decorating the body. God, your skin is so smooth here.”

“I take very good care of it, anything less seems….disrespectful.”

“Phil Coulson, you are an amazing man.”

“W-Wha—Oh! Pepper, no, Pepper, don’t kiss me. Pep—Pepper!.....Now you have to get me another shirt. I can’t go home with lipstick stains on my clothes.”

“I regret nothing.”



“What is this date for?”

“Hmmm? Oh, this one here?”

“Yes. I don’t recall you saying anything about it.”

“Not a topic I’m fond of talking about, to be honest. Which is why it’s on my foot.”

“You don’t have to tell me.”

“No, it’s alright. You asked politely. It’s my younger sister’s birthday.”

“Ah. The one that….passed away.”

“She was murdered, Natasha. I’ve come to terms with it.”

“That’s two days from now.”

“Yes, I’m aware.”

“Would you….like company that day?”




“Oh. I didn’t know you had a tattoo here.”

“Will it affect you drawing my blood in any way, Doctor? If so, my vein on the other arm is just as—“

“No, no. You obviously got it a while ago, so it’s not any big concern. That’s kanji, right?”

“Correct. A bit cliché, but I felt it necessary.”

“I see. Can I—little pinch here, alright, there you go—can I ask what it says?”

“It means life.”

“Ah, it makes sense, I suppose. It’s right near the major vein blood is drawn from. Just a few more minutes.”

“Of course. Thank you again, Doctor Banner, for agreeing to assist in the SHIELD blood drive.”

“Well I can’t donate myself, I might as well try to help where I can. Besides, I sort of…broke your Helicarrier, this is the least I could do.”

“Regardless, thank you.”

“Well, you’re welcome. Since you’re in a good mood, and maybe a little light headed from blood loss, can I ask why you got the tattoo?”

“Taking advantage of my inability to leave, Doctor Banner? I feel as if you’ve been around Stark too much.”

“Maybe, maybe. Alright, little pinch, let me just grab a—ah, here you go. There. Now drink—“

“The water bottle and eat the cookies. I’ve done this before, Doctor.”

“By now it’s rote, I’m afraid.”

“Hmmm. It was for my older brother.”

“Excuse me?”

“The symbol. He and I are the only two compatible blood types in the family and I had to donate to him. It wound up saving his life.”

“Ergo the tattoo. I understand then. Thank you for sharing that with me.”

“You’re very welcome, Doctor Banner. May I go now?”

“Finish your cookie.”

“Slave driver.”



“I knew it. I knew you’d have it somewhere.”

“Nrgh, Steve, is this the best time?”

“I just found out my lover has my shield tattooed on his ass. I can’t think of a better time.”

“I was young and drunk and—ahhh. Oh, god, Steve.”

“Mmm, that feel good? The way I figure it—yeah, raise your ass up, just like that—you marked it like that. And I own it. Means I can do what I want, right?”

“I’m not sure that’s—dearfuckinggodSteveyes.”

“Like that? Like it when I lick you open? Spread you wide and get you good and ready with my tongue?”

“Nnnn, yes. More, please.”

“Then tell me you belong to me. Tell me who your ass belongs to, darling.”

“I can’t—Steeeve, oh my god, your tongue.”

“Come on, sweetheart.”

“Yes! God, my ass belongs to you. Please, please just fuck me.”

“Anything for my biggest fan.”




“Please stop shouting, Hulk. This room is only so big.”


“It’s a tattoo—ah, yes, alright, I understand you want a closer look.”


“I gave a man money to do it. I wanted it.”


“It’s a pair of sparrows. They’re tiny birds.”


“My grandparents loved to watch birds and they rescued a small sparrow once. They saved it’s life and it always stayed around their house.”


“They passed away a very long time ago.”


“It’s not your fault. Can you put me—Hulk, no, I don’t want to sit on your...alright. I suppose this is okay.”


“……Alright. I’ll stay.”



“Bucky! Come in here!”

“What? What do you want Steve, I’m kinda—What is that?”

“Phil’s new tattoo. You like?”


“You’re an important part of my life. Whether this thing works out between us all or not…I don’t want to forget that I once loved you both.”

“That’s….my star.”

“Yes. You…ah…don’t like it?”

“Bucky, stop standing there like an idiot. Get over here.”

“I…it’s not that I don’t…what does it say?”

“It says Bucky. I thought about putting it above or below but in the center seemed best.”

“I can’t…why?”

“Like I said—“

“No, naw, I get that. I understand that. But I guess I just don’t understand why you’d get the Commie star on your body.”

“Because to me it doesn’t represent Russia. It represents Bucky, the man who steals my coffee, and the covers, and tries to seduce me into sex at work, and always remembers that Steve only drinks Coke and I only drink Pepsi and you never mix the two up.”

"ебать меня."

“If you’d like.”

“Shaddup, Steve. It’s…healed?”

“Yes, completely. I wanted to wait until it was to show—ahhhh, Bucky. Oh god, I don’t think you’re supposed to lick—ah!”

“Take his pants off, Stevie.”

“Already on it.”

“I didn’t do this to get sex—“

“No, but it’s what you’re getting. Now get on the bed, I’m gonna lick something else. Wanna share, Rogers?”

“God, yes.”

“No, I didn’t—Bucky, stop manhandling—Steve! I liked those underwear and—ohmygod.”

“Mmmm, love you, Secret Agent Man.”

“L-Love you both, I—fuck, yes. Right there.”



“Yes. Ours. Forever.”



“You have come to visit your would-be murderer? Are you foolish or brain-damaged, Agent?”


“Then why have you come?”

“Director Fury and Odin have come to an agreement. You can spend the rest of your life in this cage, or you can agree to limiting your powers and fighting alongside the Avengers.”

“And why would I do that? Why would I fight alongside those who would almost certainly throw me to the wolves at first chance?”

“Because they have all forgiven you.”

“For what I have done? That is as unlikely as you forgiving me—why are you disrobing, Agent?”

“This is the scar from where you stabbed me. The writing above it is a tattoo.”

“That is…Asgardian.”

“Yes, we traveled with Thor to visit Asgard and discuss this agreement. I had Freya translate it for me.”

“Forgiveness. You would forgive so easily, Agent?”

“It’s not easy. I’d like nothing more than to watch you wither away in here. But a very special man showed me no matter how heinous your actions, you should always be offered forgiveness.”

“Ah, yes. Your Winter Soldier….Very well, Agent. I accept your offer to fight alongside your…Avengers. With one condition.”

“You’re hardly in a position to make demands. But I’ll hear you out.”

“That…tattoo. It never fades, correct?”

“Yes. It will be on my body until I die. Physical proof of my life and my experiences that I never want to forget.”

“Then my request is this; take me to a place I can receive one of those.”

“Have something you don’t want to forget about?”

“You could not even imagine, Agent.”