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Ghosts of the Past

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„Look what we have here... Lewis found herself a friend.“ sneered the older dark haired boy that was coming closer. „Did you already arrange your kindergarten marriage?“


„Is that Vex?“ You whispered into my ear. I just gulped and nodded weakly. He wasn‘t alone. His trusty companion was following him, my pink bag with drawings of cute kittens was dangling in his meaty hand. Hugo had never been the smart one but he was big, fat and agressiv and Vex‘s lap dog.


„That‘s not yours“ You hissed pointing at the bag in hugos hand. „Give it back and I will be nice“ You were standing taller, your eyes formed into slits.


„Bo... please...“ I whispered but you seemed to ignore me.


Vex gave a laugh. „Where did you find that energizer bunny? Did you charm her or why is she protecting you like a rabid guard dog?“


„I count to three...“ you growled.


„And then what? You gonna cry? Cry like the babies you two still are? Go home and play with the other kids. I don‘t a have a problem with you only with Richie Rich here.“ He pointed a waving finger at me. „You only have to go back to daddy crying and you will get your precious books back...“




„Oh really?“


„Two...“ you clenched your hand to fists. Every try to calm you down bounced off from you.


„Go little girl, this is not your fight, I don‘t have time for this...“


„THREE!“ You yelled and stormed forward.


Everything happened so fast. All I remembered was when we were watching Vex and his partner limping away, shaking his fist while he swore to take revenge.


My lungs were burning and I felt a few cuts and bruises forming on my skin. Adrenalin was still pulsing through my veins when we slumped down exhausted. We just laughed for a long time still not really grasping what we actually managed. The pink kitty backpack was resting securly between my knees while I looked through my things. Everything was still there what surprised me even my copy of the grim‘s fairytails the booked I love dearly since my mother had read the first story from it to me.

My laughing dying down I picked up the old book. Smelling on it‘s pages picking up the familiar look calmed me down and send a smile to my face. It wasn‘t a pretty book. It looked worn, the paper was wrinkled on some pages but it was still beautiful in its own ways. I‘ve found it at the fleamarket once and kept it as my treasure. The stories about witches and dwarfs and all the mystical creatures had always fascinated me so much that I even started to draw what I thought the creatures would look like. I‘ve made a whole encyclopedia of all the creatures and knew every little detail. In my free time I often visited the library borrowing all kind of books containing mystical creatures. You could ask me anything and I knew it and that was one of the reasons why I hadn‘t any friends until you appeared.

I felt your eyes watching me while I was inhaling the calming scent of the old book. You smiled warmly while you supported yourself on your ellbows. I could see the bruises maring your beautiful face and I felt guilty for being the reason for it. Carefully I was stroking the cover of the book. It wasn‘t beautfil, but what was stored inside was what it made special. Taking a deep breath I made a quick decission. Gently putting the book on your lap you looked a little confused.


„I...I want you to have it. I know it doesn‘t look so good but... but it‘s my favorite...“ I saw your eyes widen and I suddenly felt dumb. „I‘m.. sorry it‘s stupid... God I...“ You moved quickly and stopped my rambling by putting your hands on my shoulders. „No, it‘s not stupid really not it‘s just...“ You lowered your eyes „Noone has ever giving me something...“ You looked embaressed. „But... I can‘t accept it...“ I looked at you questioningly.


„I saw how you looked at it. It must be very important to you....“


„It is, but... I want you to have it... It‘s the least I could do after what you did for me... „




„Please... Keep it... I know every story by heart... If you don‘t like it it‘s ok...“ I got self concious again. I wasn‘t sure why I was so adamant for you to have the book. You were carefully turning the pages, looking at the artistic pictures. „Wow... so beautiful... You really.. you really want me to have it?“ I just nodded and could swear that I saw a tiny tear forming in your eyes. You catched me by surprise when I felt your arms closing around me pulling me into a hug. „Thank you“ you whispered and slowly let go of me. Your hands were fumbling at your neck until a necklace were dangling at your fingers. I was still stunned when you put it around my neck. The heart shaped pendant was warm on my skin.


Your smile was wide when you looked at me. I was still speechless while I was gently stroking your gift with my fingers. „We‘re friends now“ You said smiling. „Forever“



Still sitting in the dark room I sobbed painfully. The pendant in my hand my eyes wandered to the old and battered book mingling with several medical textbook in the bookshelf. „Forever...“ I whispered again when my tears dryed up. Gulping down the rest of my wine I picked up the fotos. They almost slipped out of my hand when I recognized the small figure standing at the door frame. A stuffed penguin clutched to her breast deep brown eyes were staring at me. The dark brown hair was tousled like she just came out of bed.


I instantly let go of what I was doing and knelt down. „Charlie? It‘s late, you should be sleeping“ my voice sounded concerned when I checked the time.


„I... I can‘t sleep...“ she stuttered.


„But you have to... You need to be fit tomorrow.“


„But... But I‘m so nervous...“ her feet were drawing invisible circles while she pulled her stuffed animal tighter.


„Because of tomorrow?“ She nodded. „I... I will see mommy again?“ I gulped. Charlotte was still to young to grasp what had happened so I just nodded. „Can... Can I talk to her?“


„Yes of course“ But she can‘t answer you was what I wanted to add. I felt the pain pulling me down but I couldn‘t crumble now. I had to be strong. Strong for Charlotte and strong for you. „Can... Can... erm.. Sleep with you tonight?“ she asked shyly.


I nodded and smiled sadly at her while I picked her up. Making our way upstairs I felt Charlies arms holding tightly onto me while her head rested in the crook of my neck. She was starting to fall asleep while she listened to my steady heartbeat. The moment I tucked her in she was fast asleep. I pressed a loving kiss on her temple and watched her for a few moments enjoying how peaceful she looked despite everything that had happened.


Taking a deep sigh I decided it was time for me too to go to bed. I quickly undressed but stopped infront of the mirror. My eyes were fixed on the large scar on my abdomen. Fingers traced the raw line of flesh causing memories I wished to forget to return. Clenching my hands to fist I supressed the urge to shatter the reflecting glass and put on some shorts and a tanktop instead.


Sitting down on the bed I reached for the pills patiently waiting for me. Not caring about water I swallowed two pills. One for the pain and the other to help me to finally catch some sleep. Cuddling into my blanket I closed my eyes drifting to sleep and returning to the nightmares that were expecting me like every night since the accident.