Fire Extinguishers and Other Deadly Threats
When the Avengers moved into the tower, it was pretty clear right away that there was some unresolved sexual tension happening between the resident inventor and the resident Capsicle. It was however, a full three months before they actually got together. For the first couple weeks, everything went along smoothly; but then the appliances stopped working.
“Umm,” said Steve out loud, “JARVIS? Do you think you could get the coffee machine started for me please? I think I’ve forgotten how to use it.”
“Actually Captain,” JARVIS said politely, “If you go down to Sir’s lab, there’s a fully functional coffee machine there.”
Steve was confused, but decided it was probably best to listen to the omnipresent AI that ruled over the house, lest he never get any coffee again, “Is Tony in the workshop right now?” he asked.
“Negative,” JARVIS said politely, “Sir is still sleeping at the moment.”
Steve nodded to himself, and trudged down to the workshop to retrieve some coffee. As soon as the door closed behind him however, he heard the sound of a lock behind him, and three robots standing before him.
“Uh hello?” he said nervously to the bots, “Dummy? Butterfingers? You? What’re you guys doing?”
“I apologize for this Captain, but due to the potential seriousness of your relationship with Sir, we thought it best to have this conversation.”
“What conversation?” Steve asked, as Dummy wheeled closer to him. You copied his movements whilst holding a wrench, and Butterfingers attempted to, but promptly dropped the screwdriver he’d been clutching.
“Well Captain,” JARVIS said, still painfully polite despite the situation, “The rest of the bots and I felt it prudent to inform you that if you were to harm our Sir, there would be some quite serious repercussions.
“Oh!” said Steve, shocked, “Are you guys giving me the shovel talk?”
“Precisely.” JARVIS replied.
“I would never hurt him!” Steve assured them, turning towards the bots, “We’ve only been dating for a little while, but I already love him, and I won’t give him up unless he wants me to go.”
“That is all well Captain, we only felt it necessary to have this talk as a precaution. We hope not to have to take any actions against you, as Butterfingers is quite fond of you, as are Dummy and You.”
“That’s good,” said Steve, “I think I’ll be leaving now though. You know. Coffee and all that.”
“That is fine Captain.” JARVIS replied, as Steve turned towards the now unlocked door, and practically sprinted from the room, “Just one last thing. Dummy would like me to inform you that ‘he has a fire extinguisher, and he’s not afraid to use it.”