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We're not going to make it

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Balthazar’s POV









Balthazar’s breath hitched as he took a seat on the couch, his whole body sore from the twins, his hands on his stomach. Dean eyed the omega as he cradled Madison against his chest, she was fast asleep, and honestly the most she ever did was sleep. She definitely had dean’s temperament but Castiel’s sleep addiction.

 

Dean softly touched her face as she slept, she was so tiny. Balthazar couldn’t help but look at the premature baby girl.

 

“She’s so beautiful.” Balthazar spoke as Dean glanced up.

 

“That’s because looks like Cas.” Dean whispered with a soft smile. “...I see Castiel in all my children, but her I see him the most.” Balthazar smiled at that, as Mason walked over sucking on a pacifier and holding a bottle. Sporting nothing but a little diaper, the little boy paused seeing Dean cradling his little sister.

 

Mason blinked looking down at the sleeping black haired princess.

 

Um...Time's up, bitch.

Mason climbed onto the couch, before starting to try to lay himself in Dean’s arms.

 

“M-Mason.” Dean moved his arms away, keeping his sleeping newborn away from her selfish older brother. Mason frowned, but laid himself onto Dean’s lap nonetheless. Mason lifted his sippy cup trying to place it into his mouth but he still had the pacifier in it.  

 

...I-I...don’t understand, why can’t I drink?

 

Mason tried again but it only clunked against the pacifier.

 

Um...I want them both in. Mouth open wider.

 

Mason tried again and yet again it failed, tears started in Mason’s eyes as Mason’s pacifier fell from his mouth and loud sobs echoed from the tired child.

 

Dean sighed, as he got up, knocking the toddler from his lap to place Madison into the crib, Balthazar watched Dean with grace go to move to pick up Mason. Mason sobbed loudly, as Dean rubbed Mason’s back moving to sit again. Balthazar took him in, how graceful Dean was with his children.

 

Balthazar didn’t feel like he had that.

 

Balthazar always felt like he slightly missed the gracefulness Dean seemed to flow from him. Dean’s focused turned back to him once Mason calmed down and sucked on his thumb.

“I’m sorry, what were we talking about?” Dean asked, as Balthazar shook his head softly.

 

“The kid’s parent teacher’s meeting.” Balthazar stated. “It’s coming up.”

 

“Oh yes.” Dean stated as he relaxed back into the seat. “I already pretty much have one every week thanks to nina’s attitude problem.”  

 

“I hear that. Benji is just as problematic.” Balthazar made a face.

 

“Well, we can support each other while the alphas are away.” Dean sighed as Mason nuzzled into him. Balthazar hesitantly looked away, he forgot...benny was leaving for a month for the super bowl games. He would be back in the middle of the month if they were still competing for home games but...Balthazar was already missing him and he hasn’t left yet.

 

The door clicked open as the house flooded with the twins and benji, who were playing with new toys their alphas spoiled them with.

 

Balthazar jumped slightly when a small glass bottle of juice was held out to him, Balthazar sighed softly to see Benny smile softly down at him. Balthazar took it, as Benny leaned down kissing his cheek.

 

Balthazar glanced down at the juice, it was especially made for pregnant omegas. It was suppose to give good support to the babies as well as the omega. Though Balthazar never admitted it tasted like a donkey’s ass, his mate got all huffy if he tried to skip out on it or make an excuse not to drink it.

 

Besides...He needed the extra strength.

 

Balthazar opened the bottle taking a sip as Benny walked towards the kitchen. Balthazar pulled the juice from his lips wincing, as he smacked his lips. Just like the cells of life that were forming his twins, the harsh truth was...his cancer was growing at the same rate.

 

Balthazar’s eyes slid over to Benny who was laughing with Castiel, as the children bolted around them playing with lightsabers. Balthazar’s eyes looked sadly at his mate who was keeping it together so well.

 

This pregnancy might kill him.

 

Though of course, benny didn’t know.

 

Balthazar had lied.

 

Lied about the truth.

 

The doctor was concerned. Greatly. About prolonging the cancer treatment.

 

Balthazar’s eyes slid away from his mate, as his fingers moved to rub the bump of life under his fingers.

 

Benny had believed him.

 

Benny “...It’s cancer, Ben.” Balthazar whispered as Benny’s smile faded. Benny didn’t speak as Balthazar quickly continued. “...No, The babies aren’t risking my health….”

“....” Benny continued to say nothing.

 

Balthazar glanced away, as he went back to drinking his juice tasting the bitter taste. Balthazar licked his lips, almost in an attempt to rid himself of his own guilt.

 

However, how could he?

His doctor wanted to do treatment while he was pregnant.

 

His doctor wanted to kill cells in his body, an aggressive form of cancer.

 

Balthazar didn’t want to take a pain reliever in fear of what a headache medication would do to him. Could you imagine how strong treatment for that would be? God forbid if it was Chemo?

 

No.

 

Balthazar wanted to give his twins the best, and right now his best was worth his life if it came down to it.

 

A crash made balthazar turn as the twins bolted from the vase that broke.

 

“Nina! Nathaniel!” Dean spoke as he moved to punish them as Nina was already putting the blame entirely on her brother and nathaniel was crying.

 

Balthazar’s eyed the twins, taking in how they reacted and how they moved.

 

He wondered how his twins would be…

 

Would he be able to meet them?

 

He imagined them sometimes.

 

What they looked like, what they would be like.

 

Sometimes he imagined little girls with matching dresses, and other times he imagined little boys in matching dresses.

 

Sometimes...he wouldn’t imagine a gender at all, just imagined holding them as he rocked them in his arms. Imagined the glow of their beautiful skin in the sunlight.

 

Balthazar’s thoughts drifted as a harsh knock of the door opening made him turn, seeing Sam and Gabriel coming in with a baby carrier.


 

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Gabriel’s POV









Sam held a pack of Soda on his lap, as he wheeled himself in, as Gabriel balanced Elena who was sobbing loudly on arrival. Gabriel looked worn, as he moved to set Elena’s car seat on the kitchen table.

 

“Come on, not where the food goes.” Castiel shooed him, as Gabriel gave him a look but didn’t move the baby seat. He unbuckled the baby girl who wailed, he placed her to his chest trying to comfort her….and well...he fucking sucked at this.

 

Sam moved the baby seat, as he moved to hug Castiel and Benny laughing about the new colors on Sam’s wheelchair. Purple, which Sam lightly shoved them at their teasing, forcing them aside to show them how to cook a proper burger.

 

Gabriel opened his mouth to beg Sam to help him, Sam was so much better at being a parent than gabriel. Gabriel still wasn’t getting this right and it was embarrassing. He had almost no connection to his daughter, sure! She was beautiful and perfect and the spitting image of Sam. However, Gabriel felt as though he was tossed a live grenade that pooped and cried and needed to be held every five seconds.

 

She never stopped crying!

 

A hand on his shoulder made him turn to see Balthazar looking at him with care, he offered his hands out for the baby which Gabriel willingly gave up. Balthazar softly brought her to his chest, calming her in seconds. Gabriel watched as Balthazar smiled down at his little girl who wiggled with her growing strength. Balthazar turned to offer her back to gabriel but Gabriel turned away, pretending he hadn’t notice Balthazar about to offer her.

 

He hated himself for moments like this.

 

“Hey Nina! Nathaniel!” Gabriel moved to the twins, giving them a big bear hug, as balthazar focused on Elena who giggled and cooed. Balthazar moved back to take a seat on the couch as Gabriel let out a sigh of relief.

 

How he fucking failed at parenting.

 

How he fucking failed at anything concerning his baby girl.

 

He was a fucking failure.

 

Maybe that’s why he swore off children, because maybe he knew deep down inside.

 

How fucked up was it that Gabriel just... couldn’t function a baby he carried for Nine months?

 

Gabriel heard his daughter giggle in Balthazar’s arms as he slightly glanced over his shoulder to see Dean and balthazar happily smiling down at his baby girl. Who was calm and happy...with everyone else but him.

 

Gabriel looked down sadly, He thought...time would make this easier on him. He thought he would naturally obtain those omega magical parenting powers all the parents here possessed. Where were gabrel’s?

 

Gabriel excused himself with the twins, to walk towards the bathroom. He walked in, closing and locking the door as he covered his face. Taking a seat on the toilet he just sat in the quiet.

 

How could he just...talk to someone about this?

 

A omega who couldn’t OMEGA?

 

It was a joke.

 

Gabriel felt tears prickle in his eyes, as he sucked a deep breath.

 

Why didn’t he feel a bond with his daughter?

 

What was wrong with him?

 

All he wanted to do was cry.

 

All he ever did now was cry.

 

He hid it from Sam, when Sam would go to work. Gabriel would break down cradling his daughter, nuzzling into her warmth as she cried loudly. Gabriel would try everything, nothing seemed to calm her. However, when Sam would be back. He would pick her up, and she’d instantly calm. Instantly .

 

How was he such a fuck up?

 

How could he do nothing right?

 

The curtain being pulled back from the shower, made Gabriel jump as Benji rawred at him.

 

“BENJI! YOU LITTLE-!” Gabriel snapped, as Benji bolted for it.

 

“SORRY UNCLE GABRIEL! I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE TWINS!” Benji yelped as he ran from Gabriel who kicking him out, before slamming the door and taking a second to splash water on his face.

 

Gabriel came out, as he walked over to the couch. Taking a seat next to Dean and Balthazar, he hesitantly offered his hand for his daughter. Which Balthazar handed back to him, screams started as Gabriel’s face looked emotionlessly as he stared at the wall trying to rock her. The little one sobbing and crying her eyes out as she fussed.

 

“It’s okay, Elena.” Gabriel spoke, as he stared off in the distance, just running through the normal motions with her, when Emma busted through into the house. She glanced around.

 

“Is Alex and Claire in Claire’s room?” Emma asked getting a nod, she bolted upstairs as Michael and Lucifer came in.

 

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Lucifer’s POV







Lucifer came in caring Lilith, who giggled, Michael carried the beer to the counter. Lucifer set Lilith down which she moved to go play with her cousins.

 

“Hey!” Castiel laughed, slapping Lucifer’s arm before yanking him into a hug. “Busy busy! Home at last! You’ve been gone since last week! China right?”

 

“Yeah.” Lucifer laughed back hugging him back, Michael helped himself to a beer. Lightly tossing one to Lucifer who caught it.

 

“Let me go talk to Dean, about a sleepover.” Michael spoke, as he placed a kiss on Lucifer’s cheek before walking over to Dean to discuss a sleepover for Nina and Lilith. Lucifer watched him go, and god Lucifer loved him.

 

“So what’s new, casanova.” Benny asked leaning against the counter.

 

“Huh?” Lucifer turned to look at him.

 

“You are looking more chipper than usual.” Sam stated as Lucifer smiled softly. Yeah, he had a reason.

 

“...Michael and I are getting married.” Lucifer confessed as the others exchanged looks. “Like full out wedding, tuxes and everything.” Everyone looked hesitant.

 

“...Are you sure you want to push it with this...marriage thing?” Castiel hesitated as Lucifer’s smile fell. “Don’t get me wrong, you guys having a ceremony is amazing. But...if you guys aren’t careful, they are going to realize they made a mistake with agreeing to an illegal marriage.”

 

“...I thought you guys would support us...you guys tell us all the time you guys believe in same status marriages.” Lucifer breathed upset.

 

“We DO!” Sam stated. “But we are just worried. We don’t want them taking Emma from you.”

 

“OR Lilith.” Benny spoke. “We just want you to think rationally about this.”

 

“We are.” Lucifer recoiled at their words. “I love him. I love him and we are entitled to the same rights you are.”

 

“You are.” Castiel put a hand on his back. “Dude, if you want to do this. Give us the time and place and I will buy you the best present. We just want you to be careful.”

 

“...” Lucifer said nothing as Sam elbowed him.

 

“Dude, we are your family. Of course we support you.” Sam stated.

 

“So who is wearing the wedding dress?” Benny teased as Lucifer slowly started to come off their concerns, and started to smile again.

 

“Definitely Michael.” Lucifer teased as Michael hit him with his hip.

 

“Nope, you lost that right years ago. You are.” Michael stated taking a sip of his beer as Castiel and the other alphas broke into laughters.

 

“What?” Lucifer spoke.

 

“When I did that one thing a couple months ago.” Michael mumbled the one part of his sentence, Lucifer blinked in confusion before he went red.

 

“I-I’ll happily wear the dress!” Lucifer stated, as the alphas broke into harder laughter, as Castiel put a arm awkwardly over the tall alpha Michael’s shoulder.

 

“So! So! Spill! What did you do for little lucifer.” Castiel fixed his glasses on his face, trying to quiet his laughter.

 

“Well…” Michael blinked flirtingly at Lucifer who glared bullets. “Let’s just say, someone has a bit of a milkman and housewife fetish.” The alphas laughter became understanding as they patting Lucfier’s chest.

 

“WE are alphas, LUC! It’s in our DNA!” Sam laughed. “We always want to knot our mates.”  

 

“Seriously, who doesn’t have that fantasy? Naughty fantasy about being knocking up from a affair?” Benny snorted. “That’s how we got the twins.” The alphas laughed again as they returned to their cooking of burgers still talking about their sex fantasies. Michael hummed standing next to Lucifer, who glared at him.

 

“...Wonder why they assume I’m the bottom?” Michael hummed his whisper as Lucifer blushed redder. “And not that you had a sex fantasy about being a omega you wanted fulfilled?”

 

“Please don’t-” Lucifer whispered.

 

“I won’t tell your little bromance, to keep up your alpha dignity in check.” Michael kissed his cheek. “Besides, the omegas are more my speed anyways." Michael grabbed some sodas for the omegas moving back to sit next to them. Continuing their conversation about the parent teacher conferences coming up.

 

Lucifer watched as Michael accepted Elena from Gabriel, who instantly calmed in his arms. Michael smiled down at her lovingly, and...Lucifer couldn’t help but feel so blessed....turning his attention back to the alphas as they enjoyed their weekly family get together.