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A Group Of Crows Is Called A Murder

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“Holy hell.”

That was the only phrase that could summarize what went down during those cruel, rainy nights…


School was finally over, which meant it was time for everyone to dick around for the summer. The Karasuno volleyball team was hyped to go to a practice tournament in Tokyo with a few other team members from Aoba Johsai, Fukurodani, and Nekoma. At least that was what was supposed to happen until shit got wild.

“What a beautiful morning for a road trip!” Coach Ukai exclaimed, stepping towards the large bus Takeda had rented earlier in the week. Hinata looked up only to see dark, menacing clouds lacing the sky. It looked like the rainstorm of the century was about to burst out of those cumulonimbus clouds at any given second. The sight reminded Hinata of his disastrous bladder control.

“Uhh Ukai-kun, I’m not sure if it’s safe to drive the kids out in this weather...” the meek sensei commented, following Hinata’s gaze upwards towards the sky that oozed death.

The coach waved him off as he lit up a fat blunt, jumping into the driver’s seat to kick his feet up on the dash. “Relax, I checked the forecast for Tokyo and it said the weather would be perfect. Everybody get i-...” Ukai coughed his lungs out mid-sentence, his eyes already pink from blazing up. In the back, Nishinoya and Tanaka started shouting about how they had the coolest coach and couldn’t wait to hotbox.

After about five more minutes of wheezing, team Karasuno lined up one by one to head into the bus. Sugawara sat next to Daichi of course; the mom and dad crow huddled together near the back to keep watch over their idiotic children. Asahi, being the giant third wheel he was, opted for a window seat in the same row where he could watch his life flash before his eyes. Hinata and Kageyama already started fist fighting over who would get the window seat in the middle section. Ennoshita and the two other nobodies never made it on the bus, so tough shit.

Grabbing the front row seats behind coach Ukai, both Tanaka and Nishinoya enthusiastically inhaled as much smoke as they could into their nostrils before the trip started. Tsukishima seated himself in the very back row, placing himself as far as humanly possible from the others. The last team member stood at the front of the rowdy bus; Yamaguchi’s eyes darted around until they found a familiar tuft of blonde hair and dark-rimmed glasses. With a smile on his face, Yamagucci strode down the walkway littered with various soda cans and empty chip bags, courtesy of Nishinoya and Tanaka’s violent munchies.

“U-um, may I sit here?” the freckled first year managed to mumble out. The blonde merely replied with the usual “shut up Yamaguchi” as he continued to stare out the window. “Gomen Tsukki!” Yamaguchi blurted out of habit as he made his way back to the front. He plopped down next to the two wannabe stoners, reaching for something to eat his feelings with, only to get his hand slapped away.

Just as Ukai was about to start the ignition, a loud “WAIT!” could be heard in the distance. Speeding towards them at 3000 mph was a shitty minivan containing Kuroo, Kenma, Bokuto, Akaashi, Iwaizumi, and Oikawa. They had just finished group roasting Ushijima at Shiratorizawa when Kenma got a text from Hinata to join them on their road trip back to Tokyo for practice matches. Since it was so last minute, Kuroo hot-wired Ushijima’s mom’s minivan to get the group there on time, inadvertently adding more salt to injury. Bokuto screeched like the owl he was while Akaashi clasped his hands together, quietly mumbling a rushed prayer. Kuroo gritted his teeth and stomped on the brakes, but it was a tad bit too late. In a last ditch effort he turned the steering wheel as hard as he could and yelled for everyone to jump!

The minivan crashed into Karasuno’s gym barely grazing past the back of the bus by .0005 cm. Everyone miraculously survived, with Kenma suffering the most injuries from shielding his precious pink 3DS. “Who the fuck are these people?” Ukai asked, eyes redder than boiled hotdogs. But if he was gonna be real with himself, he had no fucks left to give after smoking three blunts, so he gestured for the new group to get on. Takeda started bitching about property damage for a million years, so Ukai left his ass behind to deal with the mess he just loved talking about. The engine finally started up as everyone watched Takeda’s pissy silhouette quickly disappear into the distance.


An hour into the commute, half of the bus was in awe at how the blazed up coach could still function on the highway while the other half were asleep. It was misty outside, the kind that glazes over the sun and dims out the light in the most peculiar way. Daichi was looking out the window to check for incoming cop cars while gently stroking the hair of his vice captain, who was asleep and curled in his chest. Both Hinata and Kageyama fell asleep on each other’s shoulders, having been tired out by their recent quarrel. Iwaizumi and Oikawa also dozed off together, occasionally sleep talking. “Iwa-chan rub my back...” Oikawa murmured in his sleep, Iwaizumi responded sleepily with a “Shut up Trashykawa...” Kuroo watched Kenma play Pokemon on his PSP while occasionally glancing back at a certain sleeping blonde. Akaashi’s gaze was fixed on the window, wondering what would become of the dark clouds looming over them while Bokuto was snoring blissfully on his lap. The peaceful quiet was a welcome change from the chaotic morning the group had just experienced.

All had seemed well until a speedy maroon car cut off the bus. Without a second to spare, Ukai swerved out the way and rolled down the windows yelling, “I’M DOING 100 ON THE HIGHWAY, SO IF YOU DO THE SPEED LIMIT GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY!! I’m DUI hardly ever caught sober, and you bout’ to get ran the fuck OVER”. The other driver wasted no time either, quickly rolling down their own window to pop their head out. Kenma, who usually didn’t display any human emotions, widened his eyes to the size of plates while tugging at Kuroo’s sleeve to get his attention. Following Kenma’s finger to the person of interest, Kuroo almost shat himself.

There in all his glory was the stoic ace of Shiratorizawa, clumsily trying to keep the steering wheel straight as he kept his head turned around. “I know you stole my momma’s boo-boo ass minivan you jack holes.” And with that he stepped on his brakes with the strength of a Super Saiyan, crashing the back bumper of his car into Karasuno’s unfortunate bus. Cursing with the most colorful vocabulary, Ukai swerved enough to where the bus didn’t completely flip over as it rapidly rolled off the ledge of the bridge. The now screaming bus drifted down a slanted hill; dirt flew everywhere when it finally halted at the bottom.

Many groans could be heard throughout the now messy interior of the crowded bus. The fact that they’ve all barely escaped death twice in the same day was not lost on them. With a deep sigh, the coach called for everyone to get out the abused bus, stressed by how set back their schedule was from this whole ordeal. Scattering to the side, the dismayed volleyball players made room for Ukai to check up on the bus. The blonde twenty-six year old circled the mobile for a whopping eleven seconds before he declared that the bus was a one way ticket to hell.

“I’ll go ahead and take this to a mechanic shop myself. Daichi and Suga are in charge... so if anyone dies, it’s on them.” The last part was whispered quickly as the sleazy coach climbed back into the driver’s seat.

“I’ll be back in two hours!” Ukai called out from the window as the bus revved away with his untrustworthy ass in tow.

 

---- Eight Hours Later ----

 

The moon was out and Hinata had ran behind the bushes about twenty times already due to godawful bladder control. Kenma was playing Nintendogs for the fifth consecutive hour because he was a lowkey furry. His face was illuminated by the 3DS’ glow while dark rings developed under his cat-like eyes. Bokuto, Kuroo, and Akaashi managed to keep themselves occupied by playing strip goldfish. Strip poker was out of the question since the rules were too complex for Fukurodani’s captain. Bokuto ended up in his boxers about 100% of the time, to which Akaashi did not mind at all; in fact, he enjoyed tracing his grey-blue eyes over the owl captain’s defined abs.

Tsukishima and Yamaguchi laid under a nearby tree together, each with one earphone, enjoying the music to each other’s company. A couple feet from them, Oikawa and Iwaizumi were sprawled out on the grass having a deep conversation about how they thought that if aliens existed, they would be like the ones in the Toy Story movies; green, humble, and eternally grateful.

“Damn, it’s getting freakin’ chilly!” Tanaka barked out as he shivered with the grace of a newborn giraffe. As if on cue, cool rain droplets started to fall down onto the unsuspecting crowd. Suga immediately digged into his bag for his phone, flipping through the contacts until he saw the word “Coach”. The silver-haired setter seriously considered changing the contact name to something more fitting, such as “assclown”.

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Suga: Ukai-san where are you? It’s getting really late and a drizzle has started.

Coach: new phone who dis

Suga: We’re getting soaked, where tf are you?!

Coach: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Suga: …..

Coach: $30 for a lapdance, $50 for a blow, $100 if u wanna go all the way hunty xoxo

Suga: Ukai, what?? You’d better not be at a STRIP CLUB!!

Coach: Whoz ukai? dis b lecstacy, da baddest bitch in da clubbb

That was the last straw. Suga dialed Ukai’s number so fast that his fingers became a blur, his usually gentle face was scrunched up and fuming. Someone picked up and loud yelling could be heard in the background along with blaring trap music. “Ayeeeeee…” Coach Ukai managed to slur out. “Where are you?! That sounds NOTHING like a mechanic shop!!” Suga screamed, clearly enraged. “Mayneeee shit is lit Suga, this strip club got me so faded,” Ukai paused for a bit to pay Lecstacy for her services.

“At least have the decency to book us hotel rooms if you’re not coming back!”

Ukai cackled like a madman. “You think I even got the funds for that? You know my ass works at the family convenience store. I pick tea leaves when the sun rises and coach a high school volleyball team when the sun sets!! I can barely afford my electricity bill. Just find somewhere to bunk for the night… and by the way, I only checked the weather for the red light district area, looks like y’all are going to have a total shitstorm hahahaha!!!” With that the line was dropped.

Exasperated, Suga trotted back to his hubby Daichi to relay the bad news. Dadchi clapped his hands together loudly to get everyone’s attention. His face darkened and a forced smile was plastered on his face as he explained to the group how much of a degenerate their coach really was. He pointed his fingers above the hills; there was a local road just up ahead if they were willing to make the trek, maybe there would even be some kind strangers that would let them stay the night. However, to the Karasuno captain’s appall, there was not a soul to be seen when they managed to make it up. Only one raggedy, three-story house sat behind a street post named “Chance Ball Lane”. The rain started pouring down even harder, prompting the disheveled group to run faster towards the seemingly vacant house. “Seemingly vacant” because as Tanaka grabbed the front door’s knob, he felt something warm and wet; a familiar metallic scent wafted through his nose.

“Awwww HELL NAW!”