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Our Accident is Life’s Intention (HIATUS)

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I was startled by the sound that could only be described as a THUNK. Sitting up, I held in my laughter at the sight of Sans faceplant into his work desk. Managing to keep my giggling quiet behind my hand, I gazed at the clock behind the directly behind him and saw it was past ten at night. He had been up since six this morning, alternating between his work and wedding plans.


“I told him so.” I mused with a gentle shake of the head. “Time to call in backup.”


Fishing out my phone, I sent a group text.


xxx-xxx-xxxx 10:10PM

[Backup officially necessary. He just faceplanted into his work desk from exhaustion. It’s up to you! You have my expectations and requirements. Code Surprise Wedding is a GO!]


Not even a minute passed before the group message was blown up.




CatFish 10:11PM



Di-Nya-Saur 10:11PM

oooh, so excited. leave it to us. (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧


GoatMom 10:12PM

Leave it to us, dear.


1stMom 10:12PM

Of course, dear.


Bruh-some 10:12PM

On it, sis. I will go shopping to get the tux with you. This weekend cool?


Spaghettinator (Bcuz Friends Overuse Spaghettor…) 10:12PM



Sexy-oss 18-6th 10:12PM

Of course, darling! Your brother, Papy and I will be there when you need us! I have everything ready when you are! It’s about time we went shopping!




I grinned. “It’s on.”



“babe, i’m fine. i can do it.” Sans whined to me the next morning before brushing his teeth.


“That’s not what I heard when you feel asleep at your desk last night. I had to drag you to bed and didn’t even make it before Pap came home and picked you up.”


He grumbled, toothpaste foaming out of his mouth. Once he was finished, I gave him a kiss.

“The only thing any of us are involved with is shopping for attire. However, as per tradition, you are not allowed to see until the big day. And as per not tradition, I refuse to wear a dress.”


I hate dresses for a lot of reasons, part of because of taste and comfort and the other because I hated the stereotype.


“what’s wrong with dresses again?”


“I have my reasons. But regardless of what I pick, you are not going to see.”


“and how are ya gonna stop me from peekin’?”


“By letting Mettaton hide it until the big day someplace you will either not think to look or would be too thoroughly disgusted to try sneak a peek.”


He grimaced, “touché.”




“Raven, we have run into a problem.”


Toriel never used names of those she considers ‘her children’ unless it was serious.


“What is it, Tori?”


“Government officials saw the video of Sans’ proposal and have brought to my attention that it isn’t legal for humans and monsters to get married. They also refuse to believe that Sans is the father of your child. They believe it is a scam of some sort.”


The slap of my palm to my face was so loud that Sans jumped from beside me.


“you okay?”


I exhaled, almost growling. “Is there any way we can set up a meeting with these government officials?”


“I brought that up and we have set up a meeting for a soon as you can get here. Can you get to the Monster Embassy within the hour?”


I narrowed my eyes. “Yes, we will be there.”


I watched silently and stoically as the three politicians around me argued back and forth with Toriel, Asgore, and Sans. We had begun this discussion two hours prior and had gotten nowhere. I had barely said a word as I waited to see what would happen.


“You could be wrong, Ms. Toriel.” The first Politian practically spat. For a man who was so lean and intimidating in appearance, his manners were quite the opposite. “I highly recommend you get proof of your claims before making assumptions.”


“we got proof and i’m more than willin’ ta show ya if ya let me.”


“You must understand that we have been monitoring the child’s progress as well as their development.” Toriel argued. “We know their origin by using machinery and the fact that their parents are Soul-bonded only helps our case.”


“How do you know the father wasn’t someone else? For all you know, the girl could have been pregnant before she met your friend.” The same politician argued.


“Excuse me, that is–” Asgore tried.


“Exactly!” The second man, a much heavier man, cut in. “Not only that, you have no proof of this Soul-bond. While I admit that Souls exist, I refuse to believe that and human and a monster were capable of such a thing, let alone having a child together.”




Everyone startled, eyes turning to the source of the noise, which was my fist to the table.


“What in the world is wrong with you, girl? I am starting to get the feeling these monsters have brainwashed you.”


“Shut your mouth and keep it that way, all of you.” I ordered, uncaring of my tone.


I could feel their rebuke coming, but I leveled a deathly glare, daring them to disobey. After spending years learning the trade of intimidation in law school, I had perfected my tactics. And as an expecting mother, it only gets stronger. It’s an instinct ingrained in men especially not to disobey a pregnant woman, especially if they are your wife, because they are scary. I had seen it firsthand more than once.


“I came here to discuss my right to marry whomever I choose. How it turned into a dispute about who the father of the child I’m carrying is reasonable, but anything discriminatory against my family will be shut down here and now. I have heard enough from everyone.”


I stood up slowly, waving Sans off when he tried to lend assistance. I walked over to the windows and began adjusting the curtains.


“Since you have brought up your skepticism of the bond between myself and Sans, I will prove it to you without the need for machinery. I will show you it is true in a way that cannot be disputed because you will see it firsthand.”

With the blinds closed, the amount of natural light coming into the room were mere wisps.


“Please turn off the lights, Tori.”


She nodded, relaxing with the remaining monsters who now understood my intent. As I made my way around back to my seat, the lights went out. It was pitch black on our side of the room, the only light sources being Sans’ round eye-lights, and two strange wisps of light, one strong and bright with one side located directly below the glowing, elliptical pupils, the other frail and barely connected with no indication of where they came from.


“I have heard Toriel and Asgore’s story before. I apologies for putting you on the spot.”


“Think nothing of it, my child.” Toriel replied softly, Asgore hummed in agreement with her. “We are patching things up, so there is no need to fret.”


“So, gentlemen, you can now see two strings. Is that correct?”

The men grunted in varying forms of agreement.


“As I said, Toriel and Asgore have a history that has impacted their bond. Hence why there is a string of light that seems close to disconnection.”


“What happened exactly?”


“That is none of your business. I am using this demonstration to educate you on how to see if someone is bonded. That does not include your right to question people’s personal life and history. A bond is precious and asking such things is disrespectful. It’s on par with asking someone why they divorced their spouse. It is rude, so hold your tongue. Is that clear?”


“Yes, ma’am.” They replied quickly.


“Good. Now, as you can see, there is a second string. It is strong and bright indicating a pure bond that is full and loving.”

“How do we know that is your bond?”


“I would appreciate if you used common sense before asking questions. It would help you look less dense.”


There was a mumbled apology.


I sighed, “If you must know, to the left side of the bond, there are two more lights. Sans, blink four times, please.”


The skeleton snorted and obeyed, and the twin beacons shuttering in and out four times.


“That doesn’t prove those lights are his eyes.”


“oh my stars, really? okay, fine. try this!”


The lights of his eyes went out and were replaced by flashing pupils of yellow and blue.


“Allow me to assist.” Toriel soothed as a small purple flame burst into life within her furry palm.


Instead of overpowering the light of the bonds, the light of her fire magic seemed to be absorbed into the string of light between both parties. Smiling, Sans’ pupil reverted to their normal white as he stepped closer to me. Toriel extinguished the flames and turned back on light.


“Very well, so you are indeed bonded.” The bulky politician admitted reluctantly.


The third politician, a stout man with a huge balding problem, stood up, “But the point still stands, what if the father of the child wasn’t you?”


I sighed. “I can prove Sans is the father, too. I was kidnapped by my ex a month or so ago and I learned that he had paid someone to remove the child. However, due to the protective magic surrounding the womb, not only does the magic protect the child from outside harm but also absorbs the magic Sans’ donates daily.


“Sans had not intentionally put this protective magic around me. His Soul recognized the presence of his genetics in the offspring I now carry and as I am a different species, and therefore a foreign containment device, if you will, instinctively created a barrier to protect his child.


“You can feel the barrier just by pressing against the bare skin surrounding our baby. And using a normal ultrasound is useless because the barrier of magic acts like a filter to protect them. Both Alphys and Sans have received their official doctorates in various scientific fields and have worked together to create a Soul Scanner that looks past the barrier to analyze how our child is progressing.”


“Do you have this Soul Scanner with you?”


Silently, Sans pulled out his personal computer and miniature Scanner and began running it across my inflated abdomen. Once completed, he plugged the memory card into the computer and pulled up the basic information. We had agreed earlier that we would not let them use the Scanner or have any of the data other than to view once since there were no doubt ways they could use the information maliciously if they wanted to.


“this is for viewing only and you may not have any of the data. cell phones and other recording devices are prohibited out of protection of the child.”

“You think we would use the data against you?” The first man cried disdainfully.


“I have no doubt.” I growled slowly.


The men shrunk away from me, turning their attention to the screen.



“yeah. gender for both still unclear, though.”


“One thing I would like to point out is that you can tell by the shape that both are faced the correct way, head angled down. But notice their Souls – one of them is upside down, the other is right-side up.”

“I’m confused.” The first man grumbled.


“You don’t do your homework, do you?” I sneered.


“What the hell do you know, girl?”

“I know that human Souls are right-side up hearts while monster Souls are upside down hearts.”


To demonstrate, Asgore pulled out his Soul, which was upside down and completely white. Swiftly putting it away, he motioned to me.


“Sans, I need your assistance.”


“Why can’t Asgore do it?”


“Souls are incredibly personal!” I roared. “Your lucky Asgore was kind enough to show you his. That is not normal. However, if Asgore had pulled out my Soul, it would have been highly disrespectful towards Sans because as my mate, only he has a right to pull my Soul out. Use your head!”


“Oh shit!” The third man stuttered.


“babe, i’m not pullin’ yer soul out in fronta these idiots.”


“Then how do you plan to prove your points?” The second man sneered.


“How about we pull out one of yours, gentlemen? You’re not Soul bonded to anyone. Even if at least one of you is married, without the bond, it’s not as…inappropriate. That’s the sad part of about humans – the bonds between humans is nowhere near as strong as that between two monsters or monsters and humans that are bonded.”


“Fine,” The second man volunteered. “Use me.” His partners blanched.


Asgore nodded respectfully and made a pulling motion, extracting an orange right-side up heart.


“yer trait is bravery, unsurprisingly. ya jus’ proved that by bein’ willing.”


After the heart slipped back in, the two others nodded to each other.


“Show ours. I want to see my trait.”

“i can tell ya without the need ta pull our yer souls.” Sans muttered, closing his laptop and stashing it and the scanner away.


“What? How?”

“i am the judge of the monsters. i have the innate ability to read souls without pullin’ them out. lean but fierce over here is red for determination. completely understandable considering your nature when doin’ yer job. shorty over here is light blue for patience. you waited to find an argument after everyone else came up empty. ya catalogued it in yer mind.


“you three work together because of yer separate traits. mister determined starts off and gets harsher as he goes. mister bravery picks up on his buddy’s argument and plows it further. and if by the end, everything seems over and done, mister patience comes back and reiterates anythin’ that could throw people off in case they tried to move past it before.


“yer teamwork is great, but…some arguments are not worth fighting. and then there are some arguments that will work against you no matter what strategy ya use. that’s the difference between determination and teamwork, and true justice runnin’ it’s course. ya know we’re right, ya just gotta let it go an’ accept that ya can’t always win.


“b’sides, we are not that different from you. we have every right ta be here. we have every right to demand equality since we are just as smart as you. and we have every right to choose who we love, especially if the feeling is mutual. if we didn’t belong here like you, we wouldn’t be. the humans who think they can shove us back under a mountain needa get off their high horse and learn what compassion is. keep bein’ selfish and see where it gets ya. karma,” his eyes flashes the eerie blue-yellow briefly, “is a hella bitcha to those who deserve it. i would know.”


“Did you just threaten us?”

“gee, i dunno. you’ve been threatenin’ us without any provocation, so if we decide ta run outta patience because we’re dealin’ with a bunch of nasty folks, you have no one ta blame but yerself. don’t start somethin’ yer not willin’ ta take responsibility for. blamin’ monsters fer bein’ different is stupid, low, and wrong. whether ya outwardly agree, ya know it’s true.”


“Your no better than animals, skeleton.”


“heh, heh, says the idiot who doesn’t know the difference between biological and magical.”


Lifting the politician’s cellphone he secretly grabbed at some point, he gestured to the screen, which detailed his text history about his half-assed assessment of human-monster pregnancy and our bond.


“everything contained in this series of messages is not only invalid but are poorly concealed assumptions. and given your statement from earlier, that would make you a hypocrite. as shown on my computer…”


And with that, Sans began going over details and using big words with meaning the men couldn’t hope to understand just to keep them in the dark. He spoke quickly, jumbling the words together so that they could pick any apart. No doubt they would catch some, but Sans was a master of word usage given his comedic background, so he had timing down pat.

“so, any questions?”


Toriel was busy trying to hold in laughter.

“You made all those weird words up!”


“huh, ya think so? well, why don’t ya write down what you can remember and ask a college science professor about it? i’m sure any professor from a specialized school could tell ya exactly what the words mean.”


“What does ‘parturient’ mean, then?”


“ah, good question. it’s another word for pregnancy, you could say. but more specifically producing something new, like a baby. make sense or do i need to dumb it down more for you?”


“Is that really–”


“Yes, I just looked it up. He’s right. And I see more words he used. Gestation was mentioned, and accouchement, and a few other words that all have to do with pregnancy and birth.”


“very good. look at this! yer learning…from a monster.”


They stared at him, taking in his smug smile and quirking brows.


“We will speak with our superiors and get back to you within the next three days at most. Have a good day.”


They filed out as I gave Sans a peck on the cheek.


“Alright, ya smart skelly! You proved yer point. Satisfied?”


He chuckled. “yeah, lessgo home. i’m tired and you deserve a bubble bath.”


“Oh my god, Sans, no…”


He snickered uncontrollably.


“You and your fetishes, I swear!”


“shuddup, ‘ts not a fetish!”






Three days later, Toriel called a group meeting. Asgore, Asriel, Frisk, Undyne, Alphys, Papyrus, and Mettaton were included in the meeting as well as my parents, cousisters, and brother. As soon as we were situated, Toriel practically danced into the room.


“We officially have approval for marriage rights. Humans and monsters can now officially get married. It has been signed and approved by all branches of the United States government.”

We cheered together, and Sans scooped me up before dipping me in an imitation of the ‘Unconditional Surrender’ statue that stood in Florida.


But unlike the story behind the statue, this was real and intentional. Lifting my arms, I wrapped my fingers around my fiancé and held him to me. The two of us ignored everyone else as well as the flashes of photography and prolonged the moment.


“Get a room!” Undyne shouted.


Releasing Sans, I retorted, “I could say the same to you and Alphys every other day, so shut up!”


The skeleton guffawed, hoisting me up bridal style and giving me several more pecks.


“you.” Smooch. “are.” Peck. “amazing.”


“Shut up and kiss me more!”




“I already told you that I WILL NOT WEAR A DRESS!” I glared up at the sexy robot who refused to listen.


“But, darling, weddings are meant to include a bride in a wedding dress and a groom in a tuxedo.”


“No, no, and NO!”



“I will rescind my acceptance to let you help if you are unable to meet my expectations.”


Mettaton pouted, “Fine, no dress. But at least wear white.”

“NO! I am wearing the same blue as my Soul because it holds significance. We already discussed this and you agreed to my conditions.”


The robot whined.


“You should know better than to argue with the bride.” Devin chastised. “Especially when the added weight is not helping her mood. Follow her guidelines or I’ll take my sister elsewhere.”


“Oh, you!” Mettaton huffed. “Fine, come with me.”


What happened next was a constant stream of “Next!”, “Oh stars, no!”, “Get rid of it!” and more negatives that only got more and more dramatic.


“I have an idea,” Devin said after what seemed like the hundredth try. “If she has something that is adjustable around her midsection, trails in the back like a dress would, and flares out elegantly, I think that would be our best bet.”


“What is your thought process?” I inquired.


He smiled. “Well, I’m thinking that considering how big you are now after three and a half months, it’ll need to be easily adjusted just in case. And say you want to wear it when you’re not pregnant anymore. If it’s adjustable, you can. I think if you make the front long enough and wear pants or leggings, it will still work.”


I nodded. “Good thinking. And having the back extra-long gives it the effects a wedding dress would without it making me too uncomfortable.”


High-fiving, we turned back the pink-and-black clad robot who was doodling something.


“Okay, gorgeous! How does this look?” He showed us and I grinned.


It was a v-neck wish straps that wrapped behind my neck. It had the emblem of the delta rune to be embedded between my breast and the cloth was designed to hug close to the under part of my breasts with the piece over my belly going down to my knees. The back and front were separated so that the back had that flowing look.


Despite the small amount of time my brother and I had discussed it, Mettaton had gotten the sketch done and managed to add color to the design. He found inspiration from Sans’ eye when it flashed with his mysterious brand of magic; the leggings were a gradient of blue and yellow, and the robot had added more regal designs and put the blue and yellow in all the right places.


“Going off what you said, I already have ideas for your dear skeleton. You will be hosting his colors and he will be hosting yours. While that will be mostly the same, I intend to make it unique to you and your personality.”

Shifting through the sketchpad, he opened it to the page he was looking for. Flipping it around, we got a good look. Seems it was easy to make Sans’ outfit non-traditional, and I made sure to let the robot know that by giving him a glower.


“His suit jacket, pants, and dress shoes will be integrity blue with narrow patience light blue just like dress shirt underneath. The tie will be justice yellow, and the boutonniere will be mainly perseverance purple and kindness green since stems are normally green, so it works. And finally, a red heart clip will be added to the tie to show your determination to be together.


“Sans will hold the one thing humans will always hold over monsters, determination, in the form of his acceptance of a human partner and you will have the delta rune, to symbolize your love for all monsters, especially Sans.”


I nodded. “That is wonderful! How long will it take to make?”


“Sans’ outfit is already complete. I had a feeling of what would be best when you sent me your expectations.”


“Well, at least you got it halfway. I’m proud of you. These are perfect. So, when will my outfit be ready?”

“Three days! And since you decided on a date two weeks in the future, it is more than enough time to make sure it fits and works for you.”

“Wonderful, thank you both!”


“Come back in three days to try it on! Make sure your fiancé doesn’t follow you.”

“Heh, heh, heh…don’t worry! I know how to get him to back off!”

“where you two goin’?”


Pap and I halted in the doorway.


“To pick up your suit. If you wanna come, you gotta try it on!”


“hell no, have fun without me.”




“not now i don’t. bye.”


Suit yourself!”


He snorted, “nice. ‘m so proud! have fun!”


Ten minutes later, we met Mettaton at a secret location. Getting out of the car, my cell rung. Fishing it out, I smirked.


“Just got the bro update! Sans fell for it! He went to the store location! Bro says he looks pissed.”




“Yep!” I showed them a picture of Sans flipped off the camera, a disgruntled expression on his face.


“Well, pet, let’s get started, shall we?”

“Don’t call me pet unless you want me to break your face!” I threatened.


“My apologies, gorgeous! Now, let’s step inside.”


“Oh yes, you were right.”


Indeed! Despite it not being a traditional wedding dress, it was perfect. And the legging-like tights and shoes fit the outfit perfectly. My brother was right, and after making sure Sans was nowhere near him, I sent him a quick selfie. Less than thirty seconds later, I received two thumbs-up.


“Now, Metts, I agreed to let you help with makeup, but if you go overboard and ruin it with too much glamor, I will make you regret it.”


“I know, darling! Undyne, you cousins, and your mother will be helping, Papy will be watching, and Sans will dust me if I ruin your wedding day for you. You have my word!”


I chuckled. “Glad we cleared that up…”



The day had come faster than Sans and I were ready. Sans was in the dark more than anyone, which was hilarious considering he had orchestrated the proposal. Even though I knew the locations for the service and honeymoon as well as other minor details, I knew next to nothing of what would happen.


Like me, Sans was only in charge of one detail: our vows. We didn’t want others to write our dialogue and it gave us the chance to add our flare to this even though we weren’t really in charge of the affair.


I was completely ready and done up an hour before. After clarifying that everything was in order, from the guest count to making sure the rings were the right size, color, and design, I waited.


Ten minutes till the big event and the bridesmaids walked in. I didn’t have a maid of honor since I couldn’t choose between Ella, Chloe and Alex, so the honor was bestowed on all three of them while Undyne, Alphys, my mother and Toriel were the bridesmaids. Sans had obviously picked Papyrus and his best man, with Grillby and Ben as the groomsman.


“I cannot believe you invited Ben, Rave. I thought you’d hate him.”


“Even though it’s that dick’s fault that I’m pregnant, I definitely think it was meant to happen. And Sans agreed, so not only did he invite him, but he’s a groomsman as thanks for getting us together unintentionally. Don’t worry, there’s gonna be payback at some point during the reception or party. Sans promised me that. Don’t ruin it!”


“I don’t plan to. He deserves it.”


“Glad we agree.” We giggled.


“It’s that time, sweetheart.” My mother called. “C’mere and give me a hug!”


I walked up to everyone, all of them wearing a different color dress for each of my main traits and hosting red hearts identical to what Sans had on his tie.


“Thanks, everyone! This means a lot!”


“If you cry now and mess up your makeup, I will pummel you, punk!”


“But Undyne, if you pummel this pregnant woman, Sans won’t think twice about dusting you!”


“It was a joke, nerd!”


I chuckled. “Better hope so…”


A knock came to the door and upon answering, Grillby spoke, “It’s time. Everyone is ready.”

Dressed in a same theme as the bridesmaids and sporting the delta rune on his tie instead of a heart, Grillby looked fabulous.


“Alright ladies, time to end my life as a single woman.” The others giggled. “Let’s get this party started!”