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Rogue Short Stories

Chapter Text

Something smelled fantastic.

Axel shot up from the couch when the wonderful aroma hit him. “Where are the cookies?” He jumped to his feet and ran down to the kitchen to see Mick pulling a tray out of the oven.

“Cookies! Cookies! Cookies! Cookies!" Axel drooled, watching at Mick set three cookies onto a plate and nudged it in his direction.

The cookies never stood a chance. Axel all but licked the plate clean.

He sighed, content with life at the moment. They tasted even better than they smelled! He didn’t even care that they were a bit burned around the edges.

"Mick!" Axel made grabby hands at the spoon covered with cookie dough. He loved to lick the spoon!

"Here," Mick almost lost his hand the way that Axel snatched the utensil out of his grip. The timer went off, and Mick went over to the oven and lifted out another sheet of fresh cookies. Axel’s mouth watered as he watched Mick lift the fresh cookies off the sheet and onto baking racks. With the new cookies, the smell of melted chocolate intensified and yet another Rogue popped into the kitchen.

“Cookies?” Mark asked.

“Chocolate chip,” Mick nodded. He smacked Mark’s hand away with the spatula when he reached for a fresh cookie.

Mark looked like a kicked puppy, “Just wanted one…”

“Let them cool,”

“Well, what do we have here?” James sauntered into the kitchen. “Don’t mind if I do!” He reached out to snag a cookie, and Mick’s spatula smacked against his knuckles. He drew his hand back and pouted. “Now that wasn’t very nice, Mickey.”

Mick crossed his arms, still holding the spatula. He watched as James reached over again- and again he got smacked.

“Rude,” James spat. “Absolutely rude.”

He got over it when Axel passed him some cookies behind Mick’s back.

Mick just moved the treats into a huge plastic container and took off his apron just when Lenny walked in. “Who’s been baking?”

“Me.” Mick gave a quick wave at him. “Want a fresh chocolate chip cookie?” he offered up. He held the container up to Len, who selected a single cookie from the top. He bit into it and gave a little hum.

“Keep up the good work, Mick.”

“Can I have some cookies?” Mark whined.

“Help yourselves,”

“Ours!” Both of the Tricksters grinned and grabbed the container of cookies.

“Get back here!” Mark shouted, chasing after them.

Chapter Text

It was supposed to be a relaxing Thursday evening. Len did what he normally did this time of the week and picked up some Thai food and headed back to the base.

The warehouse was too quiet, almost eerie in its lack of Rouges drinking or arguing amongst each other. For a second he thought no one was there, but then he heard Lisa’s laughter from the other room. After placing the Thai food down on the nearest table, he made his way through the halls.

Len walked right into the open doorway. “Hey sis-"

His voice left him when he saw what was taking place right in front of him.

Roscoe was sitting naked on his sister’s bed, groping her ass. Lisa- who thank goodness for Len- was wearing a bathrobe and was straddled over his lap. She wrapped a collar around his neck while they kissed each other, and she giggled when its bell jingled when he moved.

Len gagged and alerted them that they were being watched. As if Lisa’s touch was burning his skin, he pulled back and leapt off of the bed.

“Roscoe," Len’s eye twitched as he tried to reign in his anger. His hand also twitched and inched down towards his gun.

"L- Len" Top said, trying not to move because the bell on his collar kept jingling. He held a sheet around his naked body, feeling ever so much like a mouse backed into a corner. "Let’s not do anything we’re going to regret…!"

Cold raised his gun up. "I’m not going to regret this."

“Lenny,” Lisa glared at him. “You’re not icing my boyfriend.”

Cold sighed, but he didn’t lower his weapon.

“We can talk after I freeze his ass, sis.”

Before Lisa got the chance to reply, other Rouge’s footsteps could be heard stomping in their direction.

"What the bloody hell are ya lot yellin’ about?”

“This always happens whenever we come back sober.”

“Told you we should’ve gone and gotten hammered!”

Three Rouges stuck their heads in the doorway behind Cold, quickly coming to terms with what was going down.

“Heeey,” Axel stuck out his tongue after spotting the collar. “Someone’s getting freaky in here~”

“Dammit, now I owe Mick fifty bucks!” Mark cursed.

“You took bets on our love life!?”

“No,” Mark said. “Just bet on if Lenny would find out you two were together before New Year’s.”

“Can’t believe it took ya two months, Cold.” Digger laughed and nudged Len in the side. “Everyone kept hearin’ those jingles for weeks!”

Len roughly shoved him away and looked back to Roscoe. Roscoe felt the full focus of Cold’s gaze land on him. "Don’t help him escape," he said to the three Rouges behind him.

"If you as much as harm one hair on his head, Lenny,” Lisa threatened. “So help me-"

“I’m giving you a sporting three second head start, Top.” Len said, coldly. “I suggest you take it.”

Axel rubbed his hands together in glee. “I’ll make the popcorn~!”

“Think we can watch this from the couch?” Mark asked.

“Eh, as long as Frosty here doesn’t try to freeze us, too.”

“3… 2…” And Roscoe was running out of the room by three, firmly holding his sheet around his waist. Cold chased after him, following the ringing coming from his collar.

Chapter Text

“Up! Come on, sleeping beauty! Wake up!” Hartley groaned into his pillow and looked over at his clock with squinted eyes. It was two in the morning… Like hell he was getting up at this hour. He was going to stay in bed and sleep.

“Piper! Get out of bed!”

“No… Go away, Axel.” Hartley grumbled.

“Come on!” Hartley could practically hear the pout on Axel’s face. “Pretty please!”

“No,” he grumbled, sinking further down into his covers, still half asleep.

“Don’t make me leave those ‘magazines’ of yours hanging around the base. What would everything think?”

“You bastard,” Hartley growled. “Fine.” He put on his glasses and was about to get up, but Axel decided that he wasn’t moving fast enough. He picked Hartley up out of bed.

“Put me down!!!” Piper demanded making Axel sling him over his shoulder. “Axel!” He squirmed furiously in his grip.

The young Trickster walked out and stood in the middle of the living room with Hartley still slung over his shoulder. Hartley blushed furiously when Leonard and Mick walked passed them, chuckling at the sight.

He set Piper on the couch and sat beside him. “There we go~!” Axel grinned, leaning over to kiss Hartley on the cheek.

“Bastard…” Piper mumbled, snuggling close to his boyfriend. He grabbed the remote and turned the TV on. He smiled softly as Axel laughed loudly at the childish cartoon that was playing.

Chapter Text

A bright light flickered and illuminated the corner of his room. The striking of a match, the lighting of a cigarette eased his tensions for a little while. His fingers danced dangerously over the hissing end of the match. Heat Wave blew out some smoke onto the match and watched as its life ran out before placing the cigarette back into his mouth. He looked up and noticed a hazy fog of smoke spiral upward, creating a dim, atmosphere from the cigarette-stained air up above.

He puffed out another cloud of smoke, and he noticed that someone had entered his room.

“Lenny?”

"Mick,"

He held up his pack and said, “Want one?”

Cold nodded and made his way over to him, taking one in his fingers. Mick struck another match, watching its golden glow fill the empty space between them. He lit the end of Len’s cig up, and he watched as he held it up to his lips, breathing in the tobacco. Len blew the smoke in his face and smiled.

“One of these days,” He sighed, sitting down beside his partner. “You’re going to have to stop smoking.”

“You first,” Mick said, taking his hand in his and inhaling another long drag.

He leaned back against the wall, taking a long breath from his cigarette. He held it in for a while before blowing the smoke in Len’s face. Len breathed it in and buried his head into his shoulder. Mick leaned his head on his, and Len could feel him taking another long drag before he put it out and wrapped his arms around him.

They stayed like that for a while. Len put his arm on his partner’s chest, and Mick took out another match. He played with it for a little bit, watching the flame dance for him.

Chapter Text

"Get whatever flavor you want, kiddo!" James Jesse laughed, holding his son in his arms so that he could see the display case better.

“Trickster,” Mirror Master hissed, slipping into the shop thanks to a mirror on the wall. “Now is not the time to get ice cream! We just robbed the bank directly across the street!”

James pouted, “You’d do the same for your little Evan.”

“Not if I’d just robbed a bank! Why the hell did you even bring your kid?!”

“Don’t worry,” James reassured him. “He’s got a mask on.”

“That’s not the point-” And he was cut off.

“The fuck do ya two think yer doin’?” Captain Boomerang asked, walking through the destroyed doorway. He looked down and saw little Axel browsing through ice cream flavors, trying to find one that appealed to him. “Aw, hell. This ain’t fuckin’ time for this shit.”

"You want one, Boomy?" James asked. “I’m buying~”

"I want Cookie Dough!" Axel tapped the glass excitedly. He turned his head to look at his “uncles” and asked, “Aren’t you gonna pick one?”

“Come on guys~” James grinned.

Mirror Master sighed and rolled his eyes, "Fine- get strawberry."

“I’ll have chocolate,” Boomer said.

James set down a stack of cash, assuming that it’d be enough to replace the windows he’d destroyed, and paid for their ice creams. He tucked in a napkin around his five-year old's shirt to keep him relatively clean before handing him his ice cream. Axel cheered and gave a small thanks before digging in.

James smiled, “Ready to go?”

“Been ready,” Sam complained, dipping his spoon into his cup of strawberry. “Cold’s going to love hearing about this."

“Nah, he’s just gonna be fuckin’ mad that we didn’t get ‘em some.” Boomer noted.

Chapter Text

Lenny was going to strangle James.

There were puppies running around the base, yipping and yapping. They were also eating his plans, his boots, his spare parka, and anything that belonged to him.

“Why no one else’s stuff getting eaten!?” Cold shouted.

"Chill, Lenny,” Lisa picked up a puppy and smiled. “They don't know any better."

“They ate the couch!” Mark exclaimed.

Len ran his hands along his face. He looked down when he felt something warm trickling onto his boot. He growled in irritation at the beagle who just walked off. “It pissed on me…!”

“You can’t stay mad at them; they’re so cute.” Mick said, picking one of the little pups up.

Len grit his teeth when the barking got louder. He buried his face into his hands, then let out a heavy sigh. "Never mind," he said. “This is fine. We can work this out.”

“There ya go, Lenny. Calm down.”

“Yeah, we don’t want you having a heart attack.”

Len looked down at the little pug beside him. Its wrinkly face and chubby body was absolutely adorable. He picked up a little pug.
It would look too cute in a blue parka.

"Cute," he mused, smiling when the pug's long tongue came out and licked his cheek.

Chapter Text

“Lenny! We went by the costume shop, and you’ll never believe what we stole!” Axel shouted, walking through the air with plastic bags in his arms. He dropped the bags on the table where Len had his plans and maps spread out, effectively catching all of his attention.

“Axel, I swear to-”

Axel cut him off. “I mean you can’t go out without wearing a costume on Halloween! How else would you get any kind of treats?”

“By going out to the store and buying my own damn candy, like a grown man.” He stated, shoving a bag out of his way.

Hartley looked up from his book. “Axel, you don’t go door to door?”

“Nah, I plant a bunch of tricks everywhere! If someone happens to lose a few pieces of candy here and there- Oh well!” The young Trickster giggled with glee.

Lisa strolled in and to the plastic bags, skimming through every girl's costume that was there. “Mhm, you couldn’t have picked up anything in my size?”

“Sorry,” Axel said. “But I did pick out a great costume for Mick! It’s in there somewhere.” His feet hit the floor and he scavenged the bags for one particular costume.

Hartley raised a brow at the sight of all the orange. “He’s going to kill you if you try to put that on him.”

“But take a picture if you do manage to fit him in there.” Lisa sniggered when she saw a green stem attached to its body suit that was the hat and green booties.

"What's with the pumpkin costume?"

Axel grinned like the devil and made a happy sound when Mick walked in the room. “Mickey~! Feel like trying this bad boy on~?”

Mick took one look at the costume and grabbed his gun. “It’ll be ashes in seconds…” he threatened.

"Aww, but it’d be the cutest thing you’d ever worn~!" Axel giggled.

“Axel,” Len glared at him. “No.”

The Trickster crossed his arms and pouted. “Fine. I see how it is. You just want me to go get you and Lenny a couple’s costume.” His normal smile returned. “I’ll go see if they still have Heat Miser and Cold Miser outfits!”

When Axel left, Len shoved his head into his hands, trying to suppress a headache. Lisa pat his back and said, “Relax, Lenny. At least he hasn’t thrown Halloween decorations around the base.”

“Just wait…” Len sighed.

Chapter Text

Hartley yawned and rubbed his eyes, walking through the lounge and into the kitchen. He flipped the light on and looked at the clock on the wall. “Three in the morning…” he mused, tiredly. Stupid dreams forcing him awake at such an unearthly hour. He grumbled to himself some more and grabbed a cold bottle of water from the fridge.

He started to wander back to his room and smiled when he thought about slipping back under those warm sheets. Maybe he would turn some soft music to help lull him back to dreamland. He was so distracted by such wonderful thoughts that he didn't notice the banana peel on the floor. He realized it was there when his face was on the floor and limbs spread out across the floor. It had made a loud noise, and it caused someone in the base to stir.

“Piper?" Axel asked as he walked down the hall, his special shoes allowing him to walk three feet in the air. He looked down and saw Hartley sprawled out on the ground below, leaning down to poke him on the head.

"Ugggghhhh…! I slipped..." He feebly attempted to sit up, then looked at the cause of his fall: a single banana peel. "A... Axel... what the hell is that?" he grumbled as he shot him a glare.

"What?" The young Trickster asked, acting completely innocent. “It’s a banana peel.”

"I don't remember eating a banana today… No one else ate a banana today."

"Ehhh, maybe? What are you saying?"

"You left it on the floor."

"I did?"

"Yes, you did, and I slipped on it."

He held his hand to his chest and pretended to be hurt. “You think I did such a thing?! How dare you, sir!”

“You’re the damn Trickster! Of course you did it!”

They glared at each other for a long time, but Axel ended up bursting into giggles after a minute.

“Okay, okay,” he laughed, wiping a tear from his eye. “I did it! Such a classical prank! I love it!” He saw the way that Piper was glaring at him. “Alright. Here let me help you up.”

Hartley took his hand, and he should have expected the old fake hand trick when he fell back down. “I am going to murder you…!” he said in a grumpy tone.

"Heheh, yeah!" Axel smiled, hovering over him. “I'll be getting back to bed. See ya in the morning!" And he went back to his room, leaving Piper sprawled out on the ground.

Chapter Text

"You can't hate romance movies," Piper said, holding the Trickster’s hand. "No one hates romance movies."

Axel shrugged. "I just never liked ‘em."

Hartley rolled his eyes. "Romance movies are beautiful, you should give them a chance. Maybe you'd like them."

"Maybe,” Axel said, giving his boyfriend’s hand a squeeze. “I’ll watch one as long as I can make out with you during the boring parts.”

“What? No make out right now~?” Hartley purred, gently pressing Axel back against the wall.

“God, I love it when you’re horny,” The Trickster leaned in for his kiss.

Piper picked that very moment to bend down kiss his forehead instead. Axel made a face and jerked backwards. That was a motherly kiss! He wanted lip on lip contact! As soon as he was about to throw a tantrum, Hartley pressed his mouth down to his. He made a tiny sound in his throat and pulled his beau closer.

Slowly, he ran his fingers through Hartley's hair while his other hand stroked down his sides. He squeaked when his ass was groped. Piper just laughed at the small squeak and kissed him harder, pushing even closer and kissing him until they're both breathless and pink-cheeked. He pulled away, resting his forehead against Axel's.

"You have a really nice ass," Hartley absentmindedly palmed the other’s ass.

“Yeah, my ass is kind of amazing.” Axel nodded, licking his lips. His mouth was red and wet, and Piper can't help but press another kiss to his mouth, sliding his tongue along Axel's lip, and earning his hum of approval.

Chapter Text

Lisa’s fingers gently skimming the gold chain of her necklace. The miniature gold heart and key attached to the chain gently clinked against each other. She sighed, happily. Roscoe had found her quite the fitting gift for their anniversary.

He’d also taken her out to the fanciest restaurant around, Top of the World Lounge. Both of them loved the quiet but buzzing atmosphere it had to offer.

When Roscoe returned from freshening up, he bit back an appreciative moan. Lisa looked absolutely stunning in her golden, sleeveless dress. He sat down opposite of her and sighed.

“Have I told you that you look beautiful?”

Lisa smiled, “Only a thousand times today.”

“Hear it a thousand a one, then.” He crooned, resting his hand on top of hers.

They talked until the waiter set down their order, leaving two glasses of ice cream on the table. Roscoe said, “I hope you don’t mind me ordering ice cream, but I only wanted you to have the sweetest things of life.”

“Roscoe, you flirt!” The chocolate sauce smothering the vanilla ice cream looked so good. Her fingers gently enclosed around one of the wafers, being so careful not to let the stray drops of ice cream spill onto her dress and took a bite into the crunchy end.

Roscoe scooped up a small spoonful for her. "Here, open your mouth,” The spoon was gently moved into her mouth.

“Mhm," She hummed. She picked up her own spoon and scooped up a portion of her ice cream, offering it to him. He leaned forward, accepting the sweet treat.

"Why thank you, darling~" he murmured, smiling. He accepted another spoonful from her, but it missed. The ice cream fell on the collar of his shirt. Lisa quickly turned over her napkin, feeling embarrassed. Roscoe dapped the vanilla away and assured her that she’d done no harm. They both blushed for a moment, then Lisa spot a bit of ice cream trapped on the edge of his mouth.

“Roscoe,” she whispered, dabbing at the corner of his mouth. “I-” She was silenced when he leaned forward and stole her lips. The kiss was as passionate and tender as any kiss they ever shared was. Time stood still for them until they had to break away to breathe. Roscoe quickly placed a quick kiss to her lips before actually having to regain his breath.

Lisa pressed a loving kiss on the palm of his hand, lightly murmuring, “I love you.”

He sat his hand on top of hers, feeling more connected than ever. He whispered back to her, “I love you, too.”

Chapter Text

"Len? Lenny?" Cold unwillingly an eye at opened the door to his bedroom. "Have you seen those brats around? I can't-”

“Don’t you dare say a single word…!”

There was his partner, lying on his bed with two kids cuddled against his chest. Little Axel laid next to Owen with his arms wrapped around him, and Cold had both his arms around the children. Luckily, Mick hadn’t woken the kids up when he walked into the room.

Heat Wave couldn’t help but grin at this cute moment. “You have the makings of a great father, Lenny.”

“Shuddap,” Cold whispered, harshly. “Their fathers dumped them on me, so they could take a break.”

“You mean go drinking?”

“Same thing,” he nodded, taking the blanket and slowly pulling it over the sleeping kids.

“They’ve had quite the day,”

“Yeah,” Len sighed. “Kicking, screaming and watching TV. I will never understand how their dads do it.”

Mick walked closer and leaned in to gently peck his partner's cheek. "Well you haven’t killed them yet, so that’s good.”

“Give it time,”

Smiling, Mick leaned in to kiss him on the lips, accidently leaned over too far and squishing one of the kids. He pulled back when Axel squirmed and woke up. The little Trickster kicked and cried, accidently kicking Owen right in the stomach and causing him to snap awake.

“OWww…!” Owen cried, grabbing a fist full of Axel’s blond hair.

“OUCH!” Axel moved over and bit Owen on the arm.

Loud cries quickly filled the room, and Lenny sent his partner a deadly glare. Mick froze and didn’t say a word when Lenny passed the kids into his arms. He was halfway out the doorway before he turned back and said, "They’re your problem now.”

Mick watched his partner slam the door shut and leave him in a room with two screaming kids. He groaned, "Damn..."

Chapter Text

Barry Allen had been craving coffee all day. He didn’t have time to run by Jitters this morning, because he had to go stop a robbery. He didn’t have time after that, because he was late to work at that point. He only managed to escape to get his drink when he had his lunch break.

Barry pulled open the door to Jitters and walked inside to get his coffee. He let the warm, delicious scent of vanilla, cinnamon, and ground coffee beans wash over him, instantly relieving his stress.

The coffee shop was buzzing with activity like it always was. He could hear the chatter of customers at the counter, making pleasant conversation while they waited for their coffee, the quick tapping of laptop keys, the loud sips of people drinking coffee, and the grinding and whirring of the blenders as smoothies and lattes were created.

He walked up to the counter to place his order.

“Have a nice day.” The cashier said, enthusiastically to the customer in front of him. When the man in front of him left, Barry stepped up.

“Your usual, Barry?” They asked.

“Yep,” He smiled.

“Alright,” They said. “It might be a moment, though. Its machine has been messing up every other order today.”

“I can spare a few minutes,” Thankfully, he could spare a few minutes today. He walked off to the side to wait, taking the time to look around the shop.

“Barry,” Barry turned around in a flash, eyes catching a hold of his villain.

Leonard Snart gave him a smirk and set down his iced coffee on the table by his hand. He made a hand motion for him to come over and sit down across from him. Barry bit his lip, but he reluctantly moved to where Snart was and sat down.

“What are you doing here?” he whispered, harshly.

“Enjoying some coffee,” Len said, plain and simple. “It’s not like it’s a crime, right?”

“Why do you have to show up at MY Jitters?” Barry asked, leaning forward. “I come here, Iris works here, so you shouldn’t even be within three hundred feet of this place. And-” Cold stopped him before he picked up anymore steam.

“Cute,” Len interrupted, reaching across the table and stroking his cheek, effectively causing Barry’s mind to shut down.

“W- What?” He most definitely did not squeak. Cute? Snart was calling him cute!?

“Alright, Barry,” Cold chuckled, a wicked sparkle shining in his eyes. “I’ll leave your Jitters, but I need a little compensation if I do. Eye for an eye, you know?”

“What do you want?”

“Dinner. Tonight. Does seven work for you?” He asked like this was a normal conversation beween two normal people.

“Barry!”

Snart’s head turned to look at the young lady behind the counter holding Barry’s drink. “Your coffee is ready.”

“Wha…” It seemed that his mind hadn’t come back down to Earth just yet. Cold reached over and grabbed Barry’s hand. The cold touch seemed to wake him up, and he looked up at Len again.

“Don’t forget,” Cold’s words made a shiver run up his spine. “Seven o’clock. Let’s meet outside Jitters.”

“I… Uh…” Barry sputtered, hopelessly lost. He became horrifically aware that his face was burning. How long had he been blushing? Avoiding eye contact with his villain, he rushed to grab his coffee. He was almost out the door when Snart just had to shout out, “See you at seven, Barry!”

He all but flashed out of there. He quickly walked down the sidewalk, cursing Leonard Snart’s name.

Chapter Text

As of late, Digger would go out to town to pick up some beer and always end up stopping at the bookstore beside the grocery store. Owen might have been a year from kindie, but he wanted to give his son a good head-start. He felt a sense of pride being able to supply him with new things to learn about.

Walking back into the base, Digger made his way into the kitchen and saw that Len had been stuck babysitting again. Owen was coloring on the floor, and Axel was sitting on the back of the couch beating Len's head with a rubber chicken. Cold's eye twitched with every squeak, and he looked close to snapping.

Digger snorted. Clearly, he would never worry about if he was teaching his son the right things. Pissing Cold off was always asking for trouble.

He dumped the bags down on the table and turned to see Len getting off the couch. "Any chance you'll watch Axel till James gets back?" He sounded tired as shit.

Digger picked up an apple, biting into it. He hummed, as if he was actually considering it, but he quickly shot him down. "Ya couldn't pay someone enough to try to watch 'em." Cold glared at him. "What? Is Tricks still hitting the piss with Piper at S&S?"

"Yeah," Len grumbled, grabbing Axel by his hoodie. "Won't be back until dawn."

"He'll be right rotten then."

"What?"

"Drunk," Boomer clarified for him.

"Oh," Cold sighed and watched Axel hit his chest with the rubber chicken. "Dammit... I hate this."

Digger sniggered, "Try not to strangle 'em."

Cold sighed heavily and carried the kid off to the rec. room. When they were gone, Owen dropped his crayons and ran towards his father. He looked up at him with a look of expectancy on his face which made Digger smile.

“Ya after somethin', ankle bitter?” He laughed, picking up one of the bags and holding it out to his kid.

"Prezzy!" Owen gasped, taking the bag and opening it with a gleeful expression. There were several children books and coloring books in it, and Owen was determined to gather all of them up into his arms.

"What? No thanks for yer old man?" Digger held a hand to his heart, pretending to be hurt.

Owen giggled and threw his little arms around his leg, dropping his books around his father's boots. “Thanks, daddy!”

He chucked and pulled his kid up into a hug. “Yer welcome, ” He smiled. “Ya know I spoil ya, roight?”

“That's what daddies do!” He answered.

Digger ruffled his hair and laughed. "Sure, Owen."

Chapter Text

“You are an actual child, and I should actually put you in a corner for this.”

“But you're still gonna check, right? Piper?”

"It's three in the morning! Even Batman has probably called it a night!" Hartley flailed his arms, dramatically.

"Piper! I'm serious!"

The ginger sighed heavily. “James, for the last time, there are no monsters in your closet. Now let me go home.”

“No, you didn't check the closet!” The Trickster stated.

Hartley scowled. “This better not end in a jump-scare, because it'll end in you twirling around Central in tights."

"Don't I do that anyway?"

Piper didn't have a reply that time. Instead, he opened the closet door up. He raised his brow and asked, "Since when did you acquire armor?" There was armor resting on the floor of the closet, an disorderly line of clothes barely hanging onto their hangars, and several pairs of James' flying shoes thrown on the floor.

"The only thing you have in your closet are skeletons."

“Okay, so now you gotta check under the bed.”

“Goddammit, James!” Piper all but stomped his feet. "You're how old?! And you're making me check under your bed?!"

“Just check it! Please!”

"I can't believe this," He muttered, getting down on his hands and knees. He looked underneath his bed. “I see nothing. See, you don't have any-”

One second Piper's on the floor, the next second he's jumped three feet up in the air. He landed on the bed and hid under the sheet along with James. He grabbed his hands and forced him to look at him.

“Something moved down there...! James! What the hell is it!?!?”

"Why the hell did you think I called you? I don't fucking know!!" He wailed, dramatically.

"That's it!" Piper grabbed his phone. "We're calling Mick and having him burn this place down!"

"We're still inside it!"

"We're calling Sam and having him rescue us!" Piper corrected, hoping that the Mirror Master was one of those people that were awake at three in the morning.

Chapter Text

“Hey! Heeeeeeyyy!!!” Axel shouted, poking through the kitchen pantry. He’d been looking through it for something to fill his sugar craving, and he’d finally managed to spot a suitable snack. “Guys!? Whose cookies are these?” He glanced down at the cookies on the shelf. They weren’t labelled, and they were just sitting there begging to be eaten. “Imma gonna eat them if no one says anything!”

He stood there pointing at the treats for about ten seconds before grabbing them. “Mmhm, man these are good.”

“Ya bastard!” Boomerang roared, stomping into the kitchen.

Axel nearly choked and instinctively jumped up in the air, just barely floating above Digger’s reach. “Lenny!! I pissed Digger off again!!! Save me!!”

Luckily, for Axel, Cold just happened to be walking past at the time and glanced at the scene. Reluctantly, he strolled on in just to make sure Digger wasn’t going to gut the kid. “What did you do this time?”

“Nothing!”

“Lies!” Digger hissed, throwing a boomerang at the teenager. Axel barely managed to scramble out of its path. “Fuckin' bastard ate me Tim Tams!”

Len saw the package in his hands and nodded. “Axel, he has full rights to kick your ass.” Cold said, crossing his arms.

“It wasn’t labeled!”

“I’m the only one who fuckin' eats ‘em!” Digger hissed at him.

“I didn’t know!”

Hartley and Mick wandered into the kitchen, alarmed by all the shouting. “What’s going on?”

“Looks like Trixie ate Digger’s Tim Tams.” Mick chuckled. “Not your best decision, kid.”

“Who cares? Help me!” Axel whined when Boomer threw another boomerang near his head.

“It’s not like he’s going to kill you.” Hartley pointed out, crossing his arms.

“Guys!”

No one moved to stop Digger.

“Wanna go watch TV?” Mick asked, looking around.

“Sure,” Len shrugged.

Hartley gave the kid a wave. “Good luck,”

“Guys, what the hell!?” Axel shouted, ducking at another razor-rang.

Chapter Text

The sun had gone from streaming lazily through the curtains to crowding insistently into even the darkest corners of the room, and it still wasn’t enough to wake the Trickster up. Then the alarm on the nightstand went off, beeping constantly and annoyingly. He snapped awake.

Axel groaned and smacked it off, wincing at the loud thud it made when it hit the floor. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and sat up.

A body shifted in the bed until it was sitting up beside of him, and cold lips pressed gently against the back of his neck. The other body groaned and buried his face deeper into the pillows.

"Okay," he said, enjoying those kisses to his neck. "Threesome with Captain Cold and Heat Wave, check.”

Mick stirred and pressed his face further into the pillow. “Too damn early…" he muttered. “Go back to bed…”

Len wrapped an arm around Axel’s waist and made him lay back down. “Check? What do you mean by that, kid?”

“I get to cross sleeping with you two off my list.”

“Bucket list?”

“Yeah,” he sighed, rubbing his fingers on Len’s shoulders.

"That’s dumb." Mick said, finally lifting his head up. "Who even makes those anymore?"

"Me," Axel turned around and poked him in the side. “And you two got sex because of it, so yeah.”

“We seduced you,” Cold pointed out, smoothly.

“Ehh, fine,” Axel sighed. “Whatever.”

Cold gave him a little smirk and pulled him closer. “Now, now, there’s no need to pout.”

Axel felt Mick’s bare chest press up against him, heating his backside up in seconds. “Yeah, is there anything else on your list we can cross off?"

The young Trickster grinned like he’d been given the keys to a candy store. “I think we can cross off at least four more things this morning, but we’re gonna need a lot more lube.”

Chapter Text

“James," Piper groaned, not tearing his eyes away from his computer screen. "If you haven't noticed, we’re too old to dress up and go Trick-or-Treating... And we're wanted men.” The Trickster threw a pillow at his head from where he was sprawled across his friend's bed.

"We're never too old for treats or tricks!"

"You certainly aren't," Hartley sighed and spun around to face him. “Why can't we just go to Cold's Halloween party? He'll have candy there. Beer, too.” He hoped alcohol and candy were enough to persuade him.

“We'll go to the party,” James told him. "BUT first, we're gonna go trick some treaters out of their loot!"

Hartley was fighting a losing battle. He sighed, "If I go with you, then will you promise to let me pick out my own costume?”

“You don't wanna go as Snoopy?” James perked up, sitting up to look at Hartley.

Piper gave him a look. “No I don't want to go as Snoopy.”

James snorted. “Alright, as long as it's not something stupid.”

"Phantom of the Opera is not stupid."

"It is if you're gonna wear tights,"

"You wear tights, James."

"Touché,"

Chapter Text

"Watch out, babe." Hartley moved his head out of the way when James threw even more candy bars in his shopping cart.

“Why did we get stuck fetching the candy?” Piper complained.

"I dunno," James said. "Maybe cause Boomer already claimed carving the pumpkins. Mick would've thrown a fit if he didn't get to light the candles. Cold just wanted everyone else to decorate the place." He stopped in front of the M&Ms. "Buying candy is the easiest job, though. Now hold the buggy still." He was about to grab the last M&M bag, but a second hand grabbed it at the same time.

The Trickster eyed the normal person, his expression saying 'aaaaannd who the fuck do you think you are?'. "Excuse me, but I grabbed it first."

"Let go, buddy." The man told him. "My wife needs these for her party."

"What a coincidence," James smiled and pointed back at Hartley. "My husband needs them even more than her."

Hartley lowered his face in embarrassment. Bastard didn't have an ounce of shame in him. "James, nooo..."

“Don't fucking care," The man said. He tried to pull the bag, but James gripped it even tighter.

“Hartley," James growled. "I've got him distracted! Kick him in the shins! Kick him in the shins!"

"Don't drag me into this!"

"Going to your husband for help? Pfft!"

The Trickster narrowed his eyes. "Buddy, you're gonna-"

"James," Hartley cut him off. "Just give the selfish bastard his candy." People were starting to turn heads towards them, but James had decided that he was going to win this fight.

"Let's settle this like men." The man said and again tried to pull the bag towards him, and again, The Trickster pulled back.

"Fine!" He agreed with a curt nod.

Both men threw down the bag of M&Ms. The man balled his hands into fists and got ready to punch.

"Smoke bomb!!!" James smirked, throwing down the bomb and snatching the bag. He grabbed Hartley and the contents of the buggy. "Not like we were gonna pay for any of this anyway!" he told him, laughing as they ran out the store.

Chapter Text

"Is mayonnaise an instrument?"

“No, Axel, mayonnaise is not an instrument.” Axel raised his hand again, and Hartley sighed, heavily. "Horseradish is not an instrument either."

Piper couldn’t even tell if the kid was screwing with him or being completely serious. He had a goofy grin, but his tone suggested absolute certainty. Either way, he broke into his apartment and was torturing him with annoying questions.

“Please leave,” He tried to be civil.

“Oooh, what’s this?” The Trickster asked, picking up his bassoon.

“Get out of my apartment, Axel.” He tried being firmer.

“Hey, is that a picture of Mozart on the wall? Dude, you really are a big ol’ nerd.”

“Out with you! OUT!” He stomped his foot on the floor, feeling his patience snap.

Axel turned to look at him. “Eh, why do I gotta go? I just got here.”

“Yes,” Hartley nodded, feeling a migraine coming on. “And now you must leave!” He set his gloves down on his table and began to physically push Axel towards the door. He almost managed to shove him out the door, but the Trickster moved and ran over to his rats.

He gasped, “I didn’t know you had pets! Can I pet ‘em?” The rats gathered at the entrance of their huge cage, sniffing and squeaking at the newcomer.

“You’re disturbing their naps!” God help Axel if he as so much harmed on hair on his rats’ heads.

He pointed to the table beside their cage and grinned. “AWWWwwww, are those cute, little Halloween hats for them?” Yes, he’d made little witch hats for his rats. Yes, they were absolutely adorable and increased their cuteness by a million. No, Axel was not getting his hands on them to attempt to get them to stick on his rats’ heads.

“Don’t touch the hats,” Hartley told him. “And don’t touch my rats!”

“Nice rhyme,”

His eye twitched. “Out!”

Axel put up his hands. “Chill, man. I’m just hanging out.” He strolled on over to his couch and plopped himself down. “You got Netflix?”

Hartley took his glasses off and rubbed a hand over his face. “Yes, I have Netflix.” He muttered. Why did he even bother trying to fight this? This outcome was inevitable with Axel.

“Cool. We can watch Mythbusters.” Axel said, fiddling with the remote. “Ooh! Wait! Have you seen Breaking Bad?!” he asked, excitedly.

“I’ve seen four of the seasons-”

“Duuudde, we’ve got to watch it! C’mon, right now!” He pat the seat next to him, looking expectantly at Hartley.

Piper sighed. If he didn’t watch Netflix with Axel, then he would annoy him for the rest of the day. “So much for tinkering with my gloves today.” He walked over and sat down on the couch.

“That’s the spirit!” Axel grinned, clicking on the first episode of season five.

Chapter Text

"Did you try hitting it with a wrench?"

Hartley dropped his malfunctioning glove and raised a hand to his head, feebly attempting to stop his headache. “Why are you like this?”

Axel shrugged his shoulders.

Great. Hartley sighed, “So why did you break into my apartment… for the fifth time?”

“My dad got tossed back into jail.” Ah, so James got his ass landed back in Iron Heights. That explained everything.

“The Flash or the cops?”

“Flash,”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Hartley knew how sensitive Axel could be when his father was away. He received a head shake and didn’t push it, though. They fell into an awkward silence for a couple of minutes. Piper tinkered with his glove, and Axel watched him with little interest.

“I need a beer." The young Trickster mumbled after a while, then looked at Hartley. “You need a beer, too. Wanna get drunk and talk about anime?”

Piper raised a brow at him. “Anime?”

“Yeah,” Axel picked at his fingers, wincing when he made his thumb bleed. “Like One Piece, Death Note, Dragon Ball-”

“I know what anime is,” Hartley told him. “I just didn’t know you watched them.”

“Hmhm, you never asked me.” He jumped off of his seat and waltzed over to the fridge.

“Don’t eat my leftover Thai food,” Piper said, not taking his eyes off his work.

“Just getting some beer, Pipes.”

“It’s on the second shelf in the fridge.”

Axel opened the door and scowled. “Man, you got some shitty brand.”

“It’s cheap.”

Axel stuck his tongue out at him. “You’re cheap.”

Hartley found it strange how Axel could be mopey one second and annoying the next. “Fine, whatever. You’re going to drink it anyway.” He heard Axel groan, grab the case of beer and walk over to his couch to throw himself down on it. “Don’t spill anything.”

The hiss of a beer being opened and an “oops” were all Hartley needed to hear to know his words came too late. “Sorry, dude. If it helps, the couch was an ugly green, so there’s no real harm done.”

“Ughh,”

“Hey, do you have tequila? I totally forgot to ask.”

“Why?” Even if he had tequila, he wouldn’t give it to Axel. He’d be drinking it right now.

“Tequila’s always good for shots,” Axel explained, kicking off his shoes and grabbing the TV remote.

“You’re lucky that I’m letting you drink my beer.”

“So that’s a no on the shots?”

“Yes.”

“Yes?”

“No.” Hartley set down his work just to glare at the Trickster looking at him from his couch. He lowered his head and sighed, deeply. “I’ve got a damn headache.”

“Drinking can solve headaches,”

“Thank God you have a degree in chemistry and not medical science.”

“Hey! Naruto’s on! Let’s watch it.” Piper groaned at these words. He wasn’t going to ever get rid of him, was he? At least he wouldn’t until someone broke James out again.

Chapter Text

The mid-morning sun shined brightly through the window of the kitchen when James Jesse walked in. His messy hair was worse than usual, and no amount of hair gel was going to fix it. He rubbed his hands over his face, having only thought in mind. Coffee… He could never wake up in the morning without it. He made himself a quick cup of coffee and sat at the table with his pink mug, wrapping his hands around it for warmth.

Soon enough, Axel walked into the kitchen. The kid yawned, mouth wide open, as he palmed the counter for the coffee machine. James smiled. It seemed as if they shared a common hatred for the early morning hours.

Axel sighed in relief when his hands wrapped around the coffee mug. It's warm and felt good against his skin. He looked over and finally saw James sitting at the table. "Morning," he yawned, softly.

“Good morning, kiddo~” James greeted him, taking a sip from his cup slowly. He set his drink down and noticed how Axel had turned to face the window, fidgeting in place. "Axel."

The young man stopped, glancing back at his father, “Sorry, it still kinda hurts from last night.” James’ eyes swept over his bandaged left arm.

“Those pigs knew better than to shoot near oil barrels…” James muttered, angrily. He gripped his mug and huffed. “Those bastards actually tried to kill us- Can you believe it!?”

“With these burns,” Axel nodded in agreement. “Yeah!”

“Still,” James suddenly switched back to his happy demeanor. “They paid for it. Now they’re the ones burning in hell~” he chuckled, deeply.

“No doubt about it.”

“How’s it healing, by the way?” he asked, watching Axel unwrap the bandage to examine the burns. He looked at the fresh burns and hummed, “Doesn’t look too bad. It’s nothing that’ll scar too badly.”

Axel sat down in the seat across from him and huffed, "Still fuckin’ hurt.”

“I knew we should’ve gone over our tricks one last time.” James sighed. “We were running blind in that warehouse, catching on fire every other second and it got you burned.”

“It’s not your fault.” Axel told him, feeling like shit for even complaining about his burn now. He didn’t want his dad to blame himself. “I forgot to untangle the grappling wires.”

“It’s not even that,” James said. “We didn’t take the pigs’ actions into consideration. Axel,” he looked directly at him. “Listen to me: never wind up in jail for twenty years. You forget things and get a bit rusty when you spend a chunk of your life behind bars.”

James’ words might’ve been said in a light, playful tone, but Axel knew to take them to heart. He nodded, “I’ll try not to get caught.”

"Good, kid. Now," James hummed, holding his chin. "You’re planning the next heist. It’s gotta fit you, so we have to think of something- oh what’s that word you young people use?”

“Mainstream?”

“Yes! We’ve got to find something mainstream for you to trick up."

"I- I really get to plan the next heist? I mean y- you always plan the best heists." The insecurity in Axel's voice made James smile.

"You’ll do great, and I’ll be watching over you, so don’t worry~" James stood up from his chair and pulled some blueprints out of a cabinet.

Axel got up to stand by his side. "What’s this? Blank blueprints?"

"How else would you draw up ideas for a heist?" James smirked, setting down the paper on the table. Axel picked up their coffees and set them on the counter.

“This is gonna be so awesome!" Axel exclaimed, grinning like a kid in a candy store.

James smirked, "Yup. Father and son,” He made animated motions with his hands. “Pull off the greatest trick that Central City’s ever seen!”

Chapter Text

“Axel, have you even driven a motorcycle before?” Hartley didn’t know why he even bothered asking, because he looked like he was going to ride it regardless.

“Fuck yeah, Pipes.” Axel grinned, standing in front of the bike with his hands on the handlebars. “My dad found this baby in one of his old lairs and gave it to me.”

“It looks kind of old…” And there was still some dust lingering on the backseat.

“Dad helped me fix it up,” Axel told him. “So now it’s in perfect driving condition.”

Hartley shook his head. He always loved the idea of wrapping his arms around a very attractive man, riding down the highway and to freedom. When he looked at Axel, however, he could only see this ending in a trip to the hospital.

“When’s the last time you even drove one?”

“Two weeks ago,” he said, “The Flash literally picked me up off of it, and it fucking crashed into a wall. It was totally wrecked, but at least I got away.”

“Mhmm,” Hartley hummed. At least the Flash had the moral sense not to ensure that Axel ended up like his bike.

“Anyway,” The young Trickster spoke up. “Wanna ride?” he had extended his arm and was holding out a helmet to Piper.

“W- WHat?” Hartley stepped back on the sidewalk.

“I said-”

“I know what you said, but you can’t be serious.”

“Why not?” Axel asked him. “Dad and I weren’t doing anything today, and you look like you’re not doing much right now. At least I don’t think you’re doing anything wearing that hideously green sweater.”

“You’re one to talk about fashion!” Hartley jabbed right back at him. “And for your information, I was about to go to the store for eggs.”

“Wanna ride to the store and back? What is it, like a ten minute drive from here?” Hartley sighed and nodded. “Alrighty, now get on the bitch seat~” Axel grinned, patting the seat behind him.

“I’m not getting on it if you call it a bitch seat.” Hartley snapped.

“Just get on already, Pipes.”

Piper sighed and grabbed the helmet, pulling it over his head. Axel put on his own helmet and zipped up his leather jacket. Hartley’s eyes might’ve lingered on that very attractive leather jacket for an extra moment than needed.

Axel turned on the ignition and set the kill switch to “on” then pulled in the front brake lever and pushed the starter button; the motorcycle roared to life. Hartley definitely did not jump when the motorcycle turned on.

“We haven’t even crashed yet~” Axel chuckled, pulling in the clutch and pressing the shift lever down with his foot.

“Don’t you even joke about that…!” Hartley almost smacked him in the back of the head.

Axel pulled the clutch lever in and rolled the throttle grip back. Piper wrapped both arms around him when they started to go faster, and Axel shifted into second gear. Then he threw the throttle forward and the bike sped off, tire screeching against the pavement.

Hartley had his arms wrapped around Axel's waist tightly, burying his face into the back of his shoulder blades anxiously. Axel looked over his shoulder to look at him, a smirk crossing his face as he revved up the engine to the bike. His light blue eyes were wide with excitement, and the corner of his eyes crinkled as he let out a laugh.

“C'mon, Pipes, this is fun~” Axel lightly teased him. Hartley squeezed his waist a tad bit tighter.

“I’ll jab you in the sides if you go any faster…!” And he meant it, too.

Axel gave in. “Okay, I'll take it slow. Will that make you feel better?”

“Yes,”

“There we go,” He did slow down just a bit. “Just hold onto me, baby~ This will be the smoothest ride you’ve ever taken~”

“I’m gonna die,” Hartley gripped him even harder.

Chapter Text

“You’re lucky that we had some aloe in the bathroom.” Rainbow Raider said, rubbing the soothing substance all over the Weather Wizard’s upper body. Mark had apparently forgotten to pick his own brain when they left for the beach. Roy offered him his own sunscreen, but Mark said that he didn’t need it. His own stubbornness caused him to be as red as a lobster. (Of course, Roy didn’t know what red looked like, so he could only go by the expression everyone used for sunburns.)

Mark sighed, pathetically. “It hurts…!”

“It should,” Roy nodded, applying more aloe to his shoulders. “You can’t go with three days of solid sunshine cooking your skin without consequences. You don’t know how it’s killing me not to go into a whole ‘I told you so’ rant. Why didn’t you just use your wand to change the weather? I know you like rain more than sunshine.”

“You liked painting outside,” Mark muttered, not looking up at him. “I didn’t want to ruin that for you...”

Roy was stunned for a moment, then smacked his shoulder. “So you sacrifice your skin? Dumbass…” he sighed, feeling his heart skip a beat. Mark always had a certain way of making him fall for him again and again.

"Mhmm, I’ll listen next time." Roy knew that was as close to a yes as he would get.

"You better," He lightly smacked Mark’s sunburned ass, instantly getting a sharp yelp out of the other.

“Mother fucker,” He hissed in pain. He melted into a pile of goo when Roy slathered more aloe onto his back, though. He sighed out of relief, but he also sent the other a glare. “You’re evil.”

“Who? Me?” Roy asked with a sly smile on his face. He leaned forward, careful not to touch his burned back. He lightly kissed his cheek. “At least I’m the smart person who applied sunscreen and isn’t going to peel like a banana.”

“Ugh,” he winced at the thought of peeling. “Don’t remind me…”

“Ooh, just wait until the others see this.” Mark responded by pressing his face into the couch and groaning.

Chapter Text

McCulloch lit up his first cigarette for the day, watching the smoke float up to the ceiling of his room. He wanted coffee, but he would have to lift himself out of bed. He really didn’t want to get up just yet.

However a crash from the kitchen got his attention. Axel was up… Evan thought.

The young Trickster had been crashing at his apartment for a month now, and Evan was lucky if he didn’t break two things a day.

Groaning, McCulloch forced himself out of the warm bed and only threw on boxers. He opened his door and saw Axel making himself a bowl of chocolate cereal. He was pouring chocolate milk in it, too.

“Still can’t believe you smoke in bed.” Axel said, a little too cheery for the morning hours.

“Sod off,” Evan groaned, instantly going over to shut the blinds on the window. “Yer too frickin’ loud.”

“And you were drunk as shit last night.” Axel pointed out and took a bite of cereal.

“Shuddap,” Like the kid was going to push his buttons with chocolaty milk dripping down his chin.

For the past month, the two of them had gotten close enough to where they didn't feel the need to fight all of the time. Bicker, maybe, but not fight.

“Whatever, dude.” Axel rolled his eyes, taking another bite of his sugary breakfast. He took his cereal over to the couch and turned on the TV.

Evan couldn’t believe he still watched cartoons like a child. He didn’t understand it, but he learned that no matter what insult he tossed his way, Axel would never change the channel. And he didn’t feel like losing a hand to try and pry the remote out of his sticky hands.

He took a long drag from his cigarette and smooshed it down into an ashtray. He ran a hand over his face and sighed. It was just another beautiful morning in Central... and he was too hungover to care.

"Imma goin' back ta sleep," he muttered.

"Mmhm, okay, dude." Axel said, watching a cartoon cat getting hit on the head with a hammer.

"Doncha dare turn da TV up." He warned him.

Axel giggled, mischievously. "Who, me? Naaaaaahhh."

Evan shook his head. Next time he took a roommate in, he'd take in Rainbow Raider.

Chapter Text

“Do you know why I’m here?”

“You brought us cupcakes?”

The Flash’s rouges let out a collective groan. Why did James have to open his mouth sometimes? Especially when the Flash was knocking at their door.

“I need information,” Flash sped out from the shadows, glancing at each of the rouges that were present at the moment.

Mick laughed, dryly. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Wally rubbed the back of his head, sheepishly. “Batman’s on the lookout for the Riddler, and he wants to know if he’s hanging around Central. So have you guys seen him?”

Piper frowned. “And we would tell you why…?”

Boomer rolled his eyes and got up to get a beer.

“Fucker better not be tryin’ to move in our territory.” he said, grabbing a cold one and kicking the fridge door shut.

“Yeah,” James nodded. “Besides, we have enough guys in Central running around in green spandex.” He pointed back at Hartley and Mark.

“Don’t make me zap your ass with lightning.”

“It’s true!”

“Um, guys…?” Wally tried to grab their attention.

Cold rubbed his eyes. His evening headache was starting creeping in earlier than normal. “Will you jackasses shuddap,” he barked.

“If we see him, can we set him on fire?”

“No,” Wally sighed. “We need him alive.”

“I never said I’d kill ‘em.”

James raised his hand in the air. “Do we get a reward for finding him? Cash, jewels, candy, etc?”

“I’ll give you all the money in my pocket right now.” Flash agreed.

“How much is that?”

Wally reached in his pocket. “Umm, eight bucks and fifty-three cents…”

“Heck yeah!” The Trickster excitedly jumped up and grabbed the change. “He’s at the abandoned Joke and Riddle Shop near the outskirts of the city. Just look for all the green question marks spray painted all over the place.”

“You gave him up for eight dollars?” Hartley questioned.

“Eight dollars and fifty-three cents.” James corrected his companion, happily flipping through the one dollar bills. “So pizza’s on me, guys!”

“Great,” Cold muttered. “We can buy all of one pizza with one topping.”

“And we’re getting anchovies!” The Trickster grinned.

Another collective wave of groans filled the room again.

"Please take him to jail." Piper asked of the Flash.

Wally couldn't help but chuckle. Man, he loved his villains. "I'd love to help, guys, but I gotta run." And with that, he flashed out of their hideout.

Chapter Text

Hartley bent down to collect his drink out of the vending machine, and he heard a voice state 'Niiiiice'. He rolled his eyes and turned to see James stuffing his face with a turkey sandwich. The Trickster gave him a thumbs up and a wink.

“Nine out of ten,” he said through a mouthful of food.

Hartley hid his blush and pulled his hood up. “Why am I not a ten out of ten?”

James lazed back in midair and shrugged. “Pipes, we all know who has the perfect ass in this group.” He jerked his thumb back to Mirror Master. “Now how he makes it look that amazing in his hideous green and orange outfit is a mystery to me.”

“You’re one to talk about outfits, James.” Sam snapped back.

“Hey, calm down, Sammy.” James said. “Jeeze, how are you ever going to get anywhere with your sex life if you can't even take a compliment from your co-workers?”

Cold walked into the room, an open beer in hand. He’d heard enough to know what was happening from the hallway. “James, stop harassing Sam.”

The Trickster held his hands up and smirked. “I'm not harassing anyone. I’m just observing and complimenting ‘em.”

“We all know you’ve spent the better of the afternoon watching Piper’s ass.” Mirror Master muttered to himself. James overheard him, however.

“Hey! At least I don’t position mirrors in certain places to watch Digger’s ass!” Sam’s face went red, and he balled his fists up.

“I do not!”

“Ah-ha! Ya see!? I’m not the only one wasting time like this.” James declared, feeling triumphant.

Cold shook his head. “No. But now you’re wasting all of our times by causing a huge distraction.”

“And I’m distracting you people… from drinking beer?” And why Captain Cold didn’t freeze his head and stop him from continuing was a mystery to everyone.

“Don’t you have to be stupid somewhere else?”

“Not until four.” James shrugged.

Chapter Text

Len sometimes wished he had the ability to remove certain memories from his mind.

He couldn't control if his fellow Rouges fell head over heels over each other. He didn't give a flying fuck. As long as their sex lives stayed away from the heists, Len didn't care.

Now, they should have known to not get all kissy-kissy around him. They also should have known not to go anywhere near his apartment. And it did more than irritate him that he had two of his companions making out on his couch, in his apartment, where he planned to sit his ass down and watch a hockey game. This was his place, goddammit!

Len let out a loud exasperated sigh, slamming his door to his apartment shut. The two Rouges didn't even seem to notice when he walked by, arms filled with groceries. No, James was giggling and happily lounging on the couch with Hartley's head perched in his lap, fingers skillfully braiding his red hair. Hartley was whispering in a low voice, offering up dirty ideas that they could try in bed at a later time. James nodded in agreement with him, looking more and more excited with each filthy plan.

The Trickster leaned down to close the gap between the two of them, their mouths lazily mashing and molding together with some tongue involved. Len knew the two of them would not have stopped if he didn't snap them back into reality soon. He put up his groceries and looked up just in time to see their kiss deepen so that their tongues were now plainly visible between the presses of lips.

Cold coughed, and James broke the kiss and pulled away from Hartley. He looked up to Len and gave him a cocky smirk, "Are you just going to stand there, Lenny? Or do you wanna little piece of this?" he asked, motioning to Piper and himself.

"James," Hartley brushed a hand against his shoulder. "Maybe he just likes to watch." He turned his head around and gave Len a smug grin.

Cold scoffed, "It's more like it's so bad that I can't look away from it."

"Aww, you don't mean that, Lenny!" Did James really just pout at him? Piper gently pushed him back so that he could sit up straight.

"Can't we stay for a little while longer?"

Len sighed, "Get out of my place."

James smiled at him. “Yeah, the three of us should go out! I'm thinking bowling. What about you, Pipes?”

“I was thinking a movie.” Hartley shrugged, enabling the Trickster to continue to list off fun activities.

James sprung up from the couch and caught Cold in an embrace. “Wanna go have a fun night with us?” Something poked his thigh, and James grinned, "Is that your cold-gun, or are you really happy about that plan?”

"Cold-gun," The Trickster pouted, crossing his arms and walking back to Hartley. "But..." Len said. "We can go bowling tomorrow. I'm free then."

"Yaaaaay!"

Hartley grinned. "It's a date, Len."

Cold unscrewed his flask and muttered, "Yeah, yeah."

Chapter Text

"Mick, I'm using your blender!"

"Don't you fucking dare use my blender!" Mick shouted from the main room of the warehouse.

"Don't let him use a blender, period!" It seemed like Lenny had heard him, too. Axel didn't listen to them, though. He grabbed the appliance that had been put on the bottom shelves of one of the cabinets. He pulled it out and snickered at the flame design it had.

"Evan, make sure he doesn't blow the kitchen up!" Axel turned his head just in time to see Evan more or less tripping through a mirror on the wall. He pulled himself off the floor and shot a glare at the kid. Axel snickered; he had a babysitter now. He continued to snicker at Evan, and he plugged the appliance into the wall.

"Ah, shuddap,"

Axel did manage to quiet down just a little bit. "Wanna help me make smoothies?"

Evan stood up and slouched over the counter. "Nay," He replied, flicking one of the plastic cups that had been brought out. He stared at the spread across the counter. It seemed like Axel had bought some strawberries and bananas for this occasion. Hell, the kid even bought a fresh carton of milk. They already had milk, but Evan wasn't quite sure how long it had been in the fridge.

Axel started piling everything into the blender. He turned it on, and, in less than thirty seconds, he had his smoothie. Mick wasn't going to be happy that his blender was helping to make smoothies instead of margaritas, Evan thought.

The little Trickster poured the mix into two plastic cups and handed one to Evan with a grin. "Try some~" Axel told him.

Evan stared at his drink. He saw the fruits and milk the kid had put in the blender, so why did he still think it was poisoned somehow? Axel saw the way he was looking at his smoothie and whined. Evan sighed. Better to just drink it and not deal with a sad puppy for the rest of the week. Axel watched him until he took a sip of his drink. Much to his surprise, Evan really liked the flavor, that is, until he found a chunk of fruit or something. A rather large chunk. Large enough for him to have to chewed it. He nearly choked, but he managed to get the large chunk down without blowing some chunks of his own.

Axel took a sip and smiled, happily. He looked back at Evan, and he forced himself to take another drink of the chunky liquid, simply as to not hurt the kid's feelings.

"It's good, right?" Axel grinned. Evan could only nod. "Awesome. Now which cup has the lax in it?" Axel leaned over to look in all the cups while Evan about died right then and there.

"Lax!!? Ya damn bastard! Ya put lax in me?" Axel checked the remaining cups and pouted.

"Maaaan, that cup was supposed to go to Mark. That was all the lax I had, too."

"I'm gonna keel ya, ya little shite!"

Axel raised his hands in defense, proclaiming, "Wait, wait! It might've been in my cup!"

"Was it?!"

Axel couldn't help but smirk like a little shit. "No."

"Why I outtaaaAAAHHRRGH!!" Evan grabbed the counter for support.

"You might want to pass by a bathroom at your earliest convenience." Axel snickered, walking past him. "I gotta go back to the store and pick up some more lax. Maybe the chocolate kind, this time. I can put it in cookies!" He seemed so happy about that.

Chapter Text

Sitting very comfortably on the soft, plush couch, Zoey sighed and took another sip of the warm coffee in her hands. It had been a very slow, quiet morning, and it was insanely unusual for her and her boys. It wasn't unexpected, however. James told her last night that he planned to go out in search of some scrap metal to help him build some device that would turn Central City on its head. He probably would not be back until dark, choosing to avoid all possible police cars that might be out looking for him.

She sipped her coffee and sat it down on the table in front of her. When she sat down her drink, she heard the little pidder patter of feet across hallway floor. She looked over and saw Axel with a toy in his arms. He plopped himself down in the middle of the floor, looking content to sit there and play as opposed to running around and playing. The four year-old looked like he dressed himself, mismatched and clashing just like his father when he put on his costume. He had a Jack In The Box sitting down in front of him, and it was doing its normal thing by preparing to spring itself when the boy finished winding it.

When the toy finally sprang out of its box, it wasn’t long before Axel's shrill little voice had risen into a frightened wail that traveled from door to door through the apartment. Right away, Zoey ran to him and knelt down beside him. She soothed him by rubbing his back and reassuring him that everything was fine.

The toy, which had previously been a happy bear sitting in the box, was now a clown with a creepy grin on its face. Zoey frowned. This was absolutely not helping Axel's little fear of clowns. She pushed the thing to the side, feeling a little disturbed by the clown, herself.

"Ohh, my little Trix, it's alright." She picked her son up and hugged him. "Daddy just tinkered with one of your toys again." Thankfully, it wasn't one of the dangerous ones that James had invented. Still, she was going to have to talk to James about screwing around with their son's playthings instead of his own. It wasn't like they were running low on toys for him to entertain himself with. She still owned her father's old business, so James shouldn't have any reason to take from Axel.

Little Axel softly cried, still. He embraced his mother's warm hug and tried to forget his fright. Tears streamed down his face until his mother wiped them from his cheeks.

"I- I don't like clowns...!" Axel sniffled, quietly. He wiped his nose on his sleeve and looked up at his mommy. "That w- was a mean tr- trick, mama."

"Daddy probably thought you weren't afraid of clowns anymore, baby. It's alright." She soothed him. "If you really want to, we can prank him later."

Axel gave a little smile. "R- Really?"

"Yup,"

"Yay!" He clapped his hands together in glee.

Chapter Text

Len really should have been less surprised when Hartley begged him to let Axel stay at his apartment with him for a week. Something about his sister coming to stay with him for a while and catch up with him. Len could understand that. Still, having Axel stay at his place... He felt like he couldn't leave him alone in a room for any length of time. Axel, similar to Mick, was known to be prone to set things on fire from time to time with one of his toys. Again, Len had to remind himself that at least he hadn't blown up his apartment just yet.

Two days in, and Cold looked around his apartment and had to go to his medicine cabinet for headache medicine. After looking around his place, he saw that the whole place was trashed like some messy teenager lived here. Then Len had to remind himself that it was just Axel and his normal lack of responsibility, and he had to thank God that he was only staying for the week.

He just wanted to ignore the mess and go back to bed for the rest of the day, hopefully waking up to a nice, clean apartment. Instead, dressed only in his bathrobe, he shuffled over to his kitchen to get some breakfast, his fluffy, blue slippers sliding across the floor as he went. He grabbed himself a pop-tart and some coffee before making his way through the trash on the floor to get to his couch. Len sighed and slumped into his black couch, grabbing the remote and flipping through the channels.

Apparently, Axel had decided to roll out of bed before noon, cause Cold saw him scratching his ass through his briefs when he walked right in front of the TV. He stopped in front of the TV, too. "Do we got any Trix?"

Cold glared at him. "No."

"Fruit Loops?"

"Nope,"

"Frosted Flakes?"

"Nah,"

Axel sighed, "Well what do we have for cereal?"

"Captain Crunch," He only got it because it was on sale.

"I swear that guy sounds like a Rouge." Axel chuckled. "I mean how many 'Captains' do we have again?"

Cold chose to ignore the question and groaned. He wasn't going to be left alone, and he really wasn't in the mood to deal with the kid's annoying antics. He would've frozen him, but he didn't feel like plucking icicles off his ceiling fan again. Instead, he pulled himself off his couch, his bathrobe coming loose as he stood up. He winced when Axel shrieked and slapped his hands over his eyes.

"Dammit, Lenny," he whined. "Put some boxers on, dude! Jesus! You're gonna make me go blind!"

Len almost smirked. "It's my damn apartment. I don't wear nothin' when I'm here by myself." he told him.

"God! TMI, man!" Axel turned around to run back to his room. Instead, he stubbed his toes on the coffee table. Profanities flew through the air, and Len gave a dry chuckle at the sight.

"Maybe this week won't be too bad after all."

Chapter Text

"I'm sorry I bit you..." Axel apologized. "And pulled your hair... and punched you in the face..."

"And?" Hartley glared at him from his bed. He was lying down with two tissues plugging up his bloody nose.

"And what?"

"Apologize for why you did it,"

"Oh. Yeah, sorry I did all that crap over a roll in the basket." Axel rubbed the back of his head, nervously shifting from one foot to the other.

Len, who'd been watching from the doorway, stepped in and laid a hand on Axel's shoulder. "Alright, that's enough. Your shitty apology is hurting him more than your bite ever did."

"I think I deserve a gold star for my effort!" Axel exclaimed.

"You deserve a boot up the ass." Piper muttered to himself, wincing when he twitched his nose.

"Oi, has Pipey kicked it yet? Mickey 'ere wants ta know cause 'e wants ta know how many ta set plates out fer."

Len sighed and walked back to the door. "Tell him to set for all of us, Digger. We're just gonna give Piper a couple of minutes to get his shit back together." He looked back to Axel and pointed at him. "Don't you ever interrupt my football ever again." When Cold left the room, Axel looked to Hartley and chuckled.

"I'm not threatened by a dude in an ugly sweater with a cartoon turkey on it."

"You will be when he turns you into cold cuts."

"Pfft, you're feeling better already." Axel laughed. "Making puns and everything."

"Get out," Hartley wanted the source of his headache to vanish for right now.

Axel held his hands up and started backing up towards the door. "Alright, alright. I'm going. Going, going, gone... Consider me gone, Pipes." He stood in the door-frame and asked, "But do you want me to sneak you one of the legs before Digger claims both of 'em?"

Hartley gave a thumbs up. It was good enough for Axel.

"Sweet. You got it, dude."

Chapter Text

Hartley rubbed his hands over his face and let out a long suffering sigh. Digger, Sam and James' kids were going to drive him mentally insane.

Tonight, he'd been dubbed the babysitter, and he got left with their little brats. At least, Mark took Josh home, surprisingly taking pity on Piper and not choosing to leave him with an infant, too. He still had three mini versions of their fathers to watch over, however, and he'd decided from the first two minutes that this job wasn't going to be worth its pay.

Not without having his hair yanked over and over again, Hartley had somehow managed to adequately bathe each kid and fix them a glass of warm milk before bed. He tucked the three of them into Digger's bed, assuming that he was going to stumble into the base and fall asleep on the couch again.

He turned towards the door, and he got a pillow to the back of the head. He spun around and saw that the three kids had sprung up and started jumping on the bed.

"We're not sleepy!" Owen argued.

Evan nodded his head in agreement. "I dunnot wanna go tah bed!"

"Hey, guys!" Axel shouted, gaining their attention. "Watch me!" The youngest of the three had managed to tie a blanket around his neck like a cape. He bounced as hard as he could and shot up in the air. He laughed wildly as he started to drop towards the floor. Piper barely caught him.

"Are you insane!?" Hartley gasped, glaring at the little blond. "Wait," he blinked. "Consider the source." James Jesse, of course, being the source.

“I normally have my shoes..." Axel whined.

"Dog-pile on Piper!" Hartley's eyes widened. He didn't even have a second to think before the other two landed on his back, effectively knocking the wind out of him.

Piper's glasses slid down his face. He frowned. This had gone far enough. He whistled a certain note, and the kids stopped moving and laughing. They walked to the side of the bed and stood in a nice, little line. Hartley managed to pluck himself off of the floor and stood up with his arms crossed over his chest. He hated to use hypnotism, but they weren't going to listen to him otherwise.

He whistled a little tune, watching on as the kids climbed up into bed and settled under the covers. Hartley sat on the edge of the bed and sighed softly.

“It is well past your bedtime. I do not expect to hear another noise from this room tonight.”

“Yes,” they said in unison.

Hartley snapped his fingers and watched as each head fell back on the pillow at the same time. He smiled; they looked so cute. He got up and started towards the door. "Goodnight, boys."

Chapter Text

"Baking cookies? Really?" It seemed Axel had broken into his apartment... again.

"You're lucky I'm using this rolling pin on the dough and not your head." Hartley said, sweeping the rolling pin over the dough.

"You wouldn't do that," Axel chirped, plopping himself down in a chair next to the counter. "You're too nice of a guy."

Piper sighed, realizing that he'd be babysitting the young Trickster for at least the next ten hours. "Then you're lucky I left my instruments in my room." Axel chose not to reply, instead watching as the ball of uncooked ingredients was pressed down onto the cutting board in front of him.

Once everything was flattened out, Hartley put the pin to the side and pulled a container of cookie cutters close to him. The shapes varied from Christmas trees, snowmen, doves, candy canes and snowflakes. Axel picked one of each up, examining them.

"Do you want to push them into the dough?" Piper asked him.

The blond nodded, firmly leaning over to press the candy cane shape down. He pulled the cookie cutter back up and glanced over the shape cut into the dough before looking over at Hartley. "Like that?" he asked.

Piper nodded, "You got it." He watched as Axel picked up the dove shaped cutter next.

When he finally ran out of dough, Hartley pulled away the unused pieces. He gathered up Axel's cutout cookies and laid them on the baking pans on the counter. Hartley carried the tray over to the oven, and Axel opened it up for him. The tray was slid in, and Hartley set the timer for the cookies.

"Now we have to wait for them to bake," he said.

Axel nodded, stepping closer to Piper. He asked, "And whatever shall we do to waste ten minutes? I mean, it seems like such a long time to wait..." He trailed his fingers along Hartley's arm.

"W- What did you have in mind?" Hartley asked, failing to hide his blush.

The Trickster left him in suspense for a few moments before finally answering him. "We go watch Happy Tree Friends on Netflix, of course!" Axel smiled, grabbing Piper by the arm and pulling him to the couch. "C'mon, it'll be great!"

"I knew I should've used the rolling pin..." Hartley muttered, darkly.

Chapter Text

"Lenny, I need you to do me a favor~" Cold froze. Whenever his sister said those words, it never ended well for him. He shrunk down in his chair and tried to hide his face behind his newspaper.

"Oh, Lenny~ Can you spare a moment for me? Please?" Lisa said, sweetly. It was far too sweet to be anything good, Len noted. "You know how well you and Roscoe have been getting along lately?"

Len very carefully did not roll his eyes. Unfortunately for him, Roscoe Dillon existed, and he wanted to date his sister. That alone would've made him hate him, but then he had to go and try to become leader of the Rouges. It was hard enough trying to control his dysfunctional little group of misfits, and it was even harder when Roscoe tried to turn them on him.

"Yeah," he said.

She clasped her hands together. "Great. We're having dinner tonight- the three of us. I need you to not bring your cold gun. Oh, and maybe you could wear a nice tie with-"

"I will not promise to behave myself," Len said, cutting her off. "That son of a b-"

"Lenny..." Lisa was giving him a look. "Can you behave yourself or not?"

Cold gave her a cold look and shook his head. "Not unless he's had his tongue cut off, so I don't have to listen to him blabber on and on and-" Lisa was glaring daggers at him at this point. "... Oh, fine! But don't expect me to stay if he starts bragging about his heists."

Lisa chose to ignore her brother and the glare sent her way when she said, “I’m happy you're agreeing to dinner. Roscoe will be here around six. You're welcoming him in, and you will do your very best to make him feel welcome to our home.”

Lisa gave him a bright smile, and before Len could properly formulate a response, his sister had managed to disappear. Muttering, Len threw down his newspaper and crossed his arms. He wasn't getting out of this. He wasn't getting out of this unless he called Mick and had him burn down his apartment... And that was very tempting at this point.

Chapter Text

Len smiled down at his lover and asked, “Just one more for me, baby boy?”

Axel huffed, squirming a bit under Len's touch. He's just sitting there, and he won't even go down on him again unless he eats another treat. But yet his stomach is so full that excess movement isn’t particularly pleasant. He whined, “Daddy, please! I’m too full...” he pouted, tugging a little at his spiked cuffs as he carefully bucked his hips up, barely brushing against Len's bare thigh.

"Sshh," Len hushed him, rubbing the sweet, red candy along his lips. “Last one, baby, I promise.”

Groaning, Axel rolled his hips and he's immediately reminded that he’s so full and can barely move. That does not stop him from opening his mouth to accept the treat, however.

Murmuring sweet encouragement, Len stroked his thumb across Axel's cheek as he bit down on the candy. It burst and the juices from within ran down his chin and onto his bare chest. Len gave a little smile and bent down to lick at the juice. Axel groaned and trembled beneath him. Len rewarded him with a roll his hips, and he ran a gentle hand along the swell of his belly.

"C- Can I have a Popsicle, daddy?"

Cold hummed, "I thought you said you were full, baby."

"But I want one now... Please, daddy~" Axel bit his lip and gave Len the saddest expression he could manage. Len gave into his request. He reached for the cooler beside the bed and pulled out a single Popsicle. He popped it into Axel's mouth and watched, transfixed until the treat was entirely gone.

Axel wrapped his mouth around the entire treat, making Len's breathing hitch for a spit second. Then he drug his tongue over it, bottom to top, and he felt drops of sweat raise on the back of neck. Len sat back to really enjoy the show, and he enjoyed the sounds most of all. Mmph, those sounds... Those lovely, explicit slurping sounds that his baby boy made.

"Daddy~" Axel groaned, arching weakly up toward him. He finished his Popsicle and left the stick resting beside his head. It was all he could do since he couldn't even managed to sit up at this point.

"What do you want daddy to do?" Len leaned murmured right up against his jawline. He ran both hands up along Axel’s sides and then down along each side of his bloated belly. "You want daddy to take care of you?"

Axel groaned and let his head fall back on the pillow as he heard his stomach gurgle. His hips jerk upward of their own accord when Len lowered himself down.

"Your poor belly must be aching,” Cold crooned as he slowly rose up off of Axel. “My poor baby boy.”

"D- Daddy! D- Daddy, p- please! P- Plea-" Crying out, Axel’s hands clutched at the bed-sheets when Len slid back down. He made sure not to jostle his poor baby boy's stomach. Axel continued to tremble as Len continued to stroke his belly in long, gentle caress. “P- Please,” he moaned, staring up at his lover and admiring how his body flexed and seemed to glow even in the dim lighting.

"Anything for my baby boy~" Len whispered, rolling his hips one last time before making Axel release.

Chapter Text

“Yeah, I would like to order some gifts.” Axel said, slouching against the doorframe.

Jesse giggled from the couch. “He’s gonna love it~”

“Yeah. I need some flowers, balloons, chocolates-”

“Roses! Tell them you need all the roses they have!”

Axel covered his phone. “He has allergies!”

Jesse shrugged. “Fake ones then?”

“Hey, you guys sell fake roses? Great! I need like twelve dozen of ‘em.” Axel smiled. “Oh, and maybe like three huge boxes of your finest chocolates! Fifty balloons will do it- oh, and they need to be green!”

“If you wanted to be classy, then you would’ve gone with balloon animals.” Jesse pointed out to his son.

Axel shrugged this time. “Maybe next time,” he turned back to his phone. “Oh yes, ma’am, she’s quite the lucky lady.” He turned back to his father, and they both rolled their eyes.

“Why can’t they ever just say ‘they’?” Jesse asked. “It’s not always a girl.”

Axel nodded, then said to into the phone, “A card? No, it’s gonna be anonymous. Just make sure it’s delivered on time, okay? Oh and do you take credit cards?”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hartley was going to murder someone. He just witnessed as a delivery man set down the last of the fake roses, balloons and box of chocolates in his apartment.

Now he had to admit, it was a sweet gesture, but he did not expect his boyfriend to go overboard like this. What the hell was going through Axel’s mind when he placed such an order!?

He watched as his rats sat on top of one of the boxes of chocolates, and he sat down on what room was left on his couch.

“Oh Hartley~!” He heard Axel call from the open window in his bedroom.

“Axel,”

Axel practically skipped over to him and sat down in his lap. He wrapped his arms around his neck and nuzzled him. “Yes, my love~?”

“I’m going to assume it was you who sent all of this.”

“Yup,” Axel chirped cheerily. “But I can’t take all of the credit! Jesse gave me the idea!”

Hartley nodded, now fully understanding how this whole mess ended up in his place. At least Axel remembered that he had allergies and went with the fake roses.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Next time, can we just go see a movie?”

“You don’t like it?” Axel’s face fell, and goddammit, Hartley felt his heart stop at such a look.

He brushed his hand across Axel’s cheek, and he gave a little smile. “Axel, I do appreciate all the trouble you went through for me. I’m just saying I don’t need all of this. We can just go see a movie tonight.”

“Can it be an action movie?”

Hartley nodded, “I don’t see why not.”

“Yay~!” Axel smiled and leaned up to kiss him.

Chapter Text

The room seemed as empty as a bag of potato chips left in an aviary. Jesse smirked. It only seemed empty, but he knew better. He crept as silently as a predator to the crib set in the corner of the room and gripping the edge, he dropped to his knees. The crib was lifted a good foot above the floor, and it could easily hide something- or someone- small.

Just as I suspected… Jesse thought to himself. His son had once again managed to escape from his crib and climb underneath of it for a nap. He would never understand why Axel enjoyed sleeping under his crib, but there was no harm in it.

Axel was curled up, clutching his favorite teddy bear and sucking his thumb. Jesse thought he looked absolutely precious dressed in his Spiderman onesie and wrapped up in his yellow blanket.

He almost didn’t have the heart to wake his son up, but he had to. It was almost lunch time, and Axel was really grumpy when he was hungry.

“Axel~” Jesse crooned out to him. “Axel~ Wakey, wakey,” His son’s eyelids fluttered, and he opened them fully to spot his daddy staring at him. A tired, yet excited, cry came from him, and he moved his little limbs quickly and erratically. He wanted to be picked up.

"Afternoon, sleepyhead~" Jesse smiled softly. He reached out and gently pulled Axel into his arms. He sat crisscross on the floor and rocked him in his arms. “Did someone enjoy their nap? Oh, nice bed hair, by the way." He ruffled up Axel’s dirty blond hair and chuckled when he got a scowl from his son.

Jesse bounced him playfully to cheer him up. “Want some food, kiddo?”

Axel gurgled a response and pat his father’s nose in response.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

Jesse stood up and headed to the kitchen. He placed Axel in his highchair and glanced through the fridge for something Zoey left for them to eat. Ah, there it was. Second shelf on the left was where she left his BLT and Axel’s heathy baby food.

A sharp cry ran through the air, and Jesse all but dropped his BLT on the floor. He turned back around and saw that Axel had dropped his precious teddy bear on the floor. Axel was waving his arms at the floor, willing his teddy came back up to him.

Jesse smiled. “Aw, don’t worry baby.” He went over and grabbed it off the floor. “Here you go~” Axel’s little arms gripped his toy around its neck, and he nuzzled his face into it.

Jesse chuckled, tousling his hair. "So cute~"

He went back to the fridge and lifted their meals from the shelf and brought them over to the table. He took the lid off of Axel’s meal and sets it down in front of him. He took in a sigh of relief when Axel actually decided to eat his food instead of throwing it at his face this time.

Then Axel grabbed a handful of mushy food and threw it at Jesse’s face. He gave his son a look and wiped his forehead off. “Yep. There’s my son that I know and love.” He sighed. “I can’t wait till your old enough to throw trick bombs at the Flash with your amazing aim.”

He ate his BLT and watched as Axel ate, and he ducked when the food was aimed at him. He was left cleaning up the kitchen floor while his toddler sniggered above him. Jesse hummed to himself while he cleaned. He’d get back at him by a surprise tickle attack later.

“Okay,” Jesse said cheerily. He picked Axel up from his highchair and playfully pinched his cheek. “Playtime~!”

Axel laughed loudly when his daddy sat him down on the floor. He watched him as he pulled a bunch of colorful blocks from a toy chest in the middle of the living room. “Look at what Mommy brought home for you to play with, Axel.” Jesse dumped the blocks out on the floor for him.

Axel’s eyes widened and a soft noise escaped him. Jesse smiled gently at him. “We can construct the CCPD building, and then I can blow it up~” he giggled. “Oh, wait. Your mother doesn’t like it when I create holes in the floor… Hmm, we may have to exclude the TNT. This time, anyway.”

Jesse watched with a big grin as Axel’s little hand took one of the colored blocks and stacked it on top of another. He clapped his hands together. “My son has the ability to become an architectural designer!”

Eventually, he did sit down next to Axel, watching as he stacked the blocks. Axel, it seemed, was trying to assemble them into a building.

“Need any help, kiddo?”

Axel shook his head.

Content with letting his son do what he wished, Jesse sat back and grabbed a music box that he had left on the coffee table yesterday. He opened it up and smiled at the bomb skillfully implanted in the bottom of the box.

“Ol’ Flash will get a kick outta this, right Axel?” he chuckled.

Axel turned his head back and nodded, getting that same smile Jesse had whenever he talked about robbing bank, throwing cyanide pies at random citizens, or killing the Flash.

“Good boy~! Just for that, you can have chocolate for dinner tonight,” he promised with a toothy grin. “But don’t tell your mother.”

Chapter Text

"Like daddy always says, when one door closes, choose a nearby wall and bash it with brute force." Trickster Jr. giggled, fingers twitching to pull the trigger on his chicken blaster.

Piper blinked. "A- Axel, I'm pretty sure your father didn't mean-"

"No," Cold sighed, running a hand down his face. "That sounds like something Jesse would say."

"But what about-"

"I already got Lisa and Mick to move the people out of the way."

"Okay, but-"

"He's already getting the TNT out, Piper." Weather Wizard pointed out. "Can't believe he's going with the old fashion sticks of dynamite."

"Oh this'll end well," Piper muttered, covering his rat's ears before the explosives went off.

*Click*

The walls around the vault started to crumble to the floor, and Axel whooped loudly at the sight. Debris fell down around him as he walked right through air and into the vault, looking every which way for loot.

"You better not have burned it up like last time, Trix." Cold told him. He walked over the rubble with his gun rested back on his shoulder. "Kid?"

"I made sure I didn't burn it up, mom!"

"Don't call me mom," He stepped over a large chunk of concrete that had broken off from the ceiling. It wouldn't be long until the CCPD showed up. It'd be sooner when the Flash managed to spring into action and show up.

Weather Wizard shivered when a loud boom cracked through the air and lightning littered the skies. "'S'not mine, Cold."

"Hurry it up, kid." Len growled at Axel. "Stuff the loot in that magic Mary Poppins bag of yours."

"Len, shush!" Axel hissed. "You can't say Mary Poppins, that's copyrighted!"

"Do I look like I give a flying fu-"

"Tsk, tsk, Cold." Flash wagged his finger in front of his face. "Cursing in front of a kid, for shame."

"I'm nineteen, you prick!!!" Axel shouted, tossing a few trick bombs at him. Flash moved though, and the bombs rolled right up to Lenny's boots. "Oops...!"

"Mother f-" Len cursed, jumping out of the way at the last second.

"Eheh, could be worse," Axel smiled nervously. "Right, Cold?"

"You're grounded when we get home." Len growled at him from the rubble on the floor.

Axel pouted. "Aw, man."

Chapter Text

Roy had finally managed to get comfortable. He was resting on the couch, had a soft blanket covering his legs, some cocoa sitting on the coffee table and the daily newspaper right in front of him to read. He had everything that he needed to sit down, relax and plan his heist for Central City's art gala next week.

"Do you think we should get the Christmas decorations down?"

And just like that his plan for the afternoon was shattered into a million pieces.

Roy looked up from his newspaper. "We still have Christmas decorations up?"

"Yeah…" Mark pointed up at ceiling where the lights were strung.

"And?"

"And it's March." Mark stated, putting his hands on his hips. "They should've come down months ago."

"Mhmm," Roy groaned, sinking down in his chair. "Can't we just leave them up until the cops find out where we've been staying?"

"I'm sick of looking at them, Roy..."

Roy sighed and sat his newspaper down. He glared up at the lights. "Fine. I'm tired of looking at their green and... grey?"

"Red," Mark mentioned softly as not to piss Roy off.

"-And red colors, too."

"Finally!" Mark clasped his hands together. "I'll go get the ladder."

"You better," Roy told him. "If I see one mini tornado in this apartment, then you're sleeping on the couch."

Mark smiled, "Yes, dear."

Soon enough, the two of them began gathering up the Christmas lights, winding them all up for next year. They set what was left of their tree aside, moving it to clean up the pile of pine needles covering the floor. They agreed that they would give what was left of their little tree to Mick for him to burn.

Chapter Text

“Do you guys know that pugs are descendants of wolves?”

Everyone momentarily stopped whatever they were doing and looked at Axel. He smiled and said, “No, really! This little lady has the blood of a bonafide hunter in her.”

"Axel, sit up,” Len told him, shaking his head at the younger Trickster. "All the blood is rushing to your head and- Wait, a second. Do you actually have a pug in here?" The little yip from across the room answered his question, making him sigh. "Axel..."

"Whhhhaaaaaat?" He asked, kicking his feet back in forth in the air.

"Why?"

"Why not?" Axel giggled. He laughed harder when his puppy began licking his face. "Pfft, Trixie! Not the mouth! Blagh!" He grabbed a toy from across the couch and squeaked it. The pug on his chest yipped at the toy before grabbing it and shaking it.

"Is that a pug?" Lisa asked. She walked and saw the little pug attempting to devour Axel's face with its kisses.

"Yeah!"

"Aww~" Lisa strolled on over to the couch and started rubbing the pug's head. "Did Axel rob a pet store to get you, cutie~? I bet he did."

"Nooo," Axel shook his head. "Dad bought her for me. She's supposed to keep me company when he goes on solo heists or when he goes to Iron Heights. Ain't that right, Trixie~? You like spending time with daddy, don't you~?"

"Ugh, stop with the baby blather." Roy groaned from across the room.

"You'll piss on mean ol' Roy's canvases later, won't you babycakes? Yes you will, yes you will~ You'll do it for daddy!"

"Axel, take it outside." Cold shot him a look.

"Mmphm, whatever." Axel groaned. He looked back to Trixie and smiled a big ol' smile. "C'mon, babycakes! We can go dress you up in some cute sweaters, and I can put the pics up on my Tumblr, Facebook and Instagram! It'll be so cute~!"

Chapter Text

"You snore."

"W- What?"

Mark turned on his side and propped his head up with his hand. "I said you snore."

"I do not." Roy snapped, harshly pressing his pencil into his sketchbook.

"Please. You sound like a dying vacuum cleaner trying to suck up rocks."

He rolled his eyes at his partner. "Well, at least I don't make it snow in my sleep!"

"One time!" Mark shot back. "I happened one time, Roy."

"And the fog," Roy continued. "Every time it rains outside, you make it foggy indoors. I would love to wake up on a nice rainy day without ramming my toe into the nightstand cause I CAN'T SEE!"

"Well you KICK ME when you sleep! I can't tell you how many times I woke up with a pain in my side."

"I probably kick you because you're so damn cold to cuddle with."

"It's my powers, Roy!"

"OH SHUT UP, YOU TWO!!"

"JUST FUCK ALREADY!"

"SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP, BASTARDS!!"

...

"Mark, remind me to look into those apartments."

"Yeah, okay."

"Ugh, why the hell did we chose to live in a warehouse with like eight other people?" Roy asked.

Chapter Text

"Are those new pants?"

"Yes, they are."

"From tweenpants.com?" Hartley tilted his head as though to get a better angle of looking at the pants that James was wearing.

The Trickster plucked at the waist of the pants, looking down, "They sell pants for men now."

"Well, you should have bought them." Piper shook his head, failing to hide his grin.

"Oh hardy har, Hart." James stuck his tongue out at his friend. "Be grateful that I'm not wearing your clothes anymore. You're really stuck in the seventies, you know?"

"Don't make fun of my clothes." Hartley told him, then smiled. "You know I should go thank the Flash personally for burning down your old hideout and burning all those hideous outfits you owned."

"He, himself, told me it was an accident and apologized."

"He apologized while you were being handcuffed." Piper mentioned. He turned over on the couch and watched James tread off towards the kitchen. "We should really go get you some new clothes, though."

James shrugged, “I just wanted my striped pants back. For the rest... Well, I can really work your bell bottom jeans.” he grinned cheekily, “And I make them look goooood.”

Hartley snorted, “Yeah, sure,” a smile tugged at his lips, “Well you look much better in my clothes than your old, flashy attire.”

“Don't be knocking my style,” James warned him playfully.

“Well you’ll never have to wear it again, think of that.” Hartley said.

The Trickster shook his head with a grin, “Nah. Got Gambi working on replacing my entire wardrobe. It's gonna be better, covered with more glitter and way more flashy than ever!”

Hartley sighed, “Oh no...”

"Oh yeah!"

Chapter Text

"Man, I hate solitaire."

"What do you expect from a card game invented for the lonely?"

"...Joy?"

"PFftt, hahhaaha," Cold snickered from his bar-stool. "Good one, kid."

"Leeeennnnyyy," Axel whined. He pouted and slammed his cards down on the table. "Were you ever nice?

"1985. Worst year of my life." Cold said, lifting his beer to his lips.

"Prick," Axel muttered.

"Young punk," he shot back at him. "I ain't deaf, kid."

"No but you're devoid of all emotions other than the one that lets you be a dick."

"It's just my acrimonious tone half of the time." Cold shrugged.

"Your what?" Axel titled his head.

"Jeeze, I completely forgot," he sighed. "I can't use words with more than three syllables around you."

"Ugh! You're like the human version of rat poison!"

"Been called worse, kid."

"Scum!"

"Still been called worse." Cold said. "But if you're not going to calm down, then why don't we settle this like men. That outta help you chill out. Here, first swing's on me."

Axel flipped the table and threw up his skinny arms. "Oh, they're all gonna be on you."

He grabbed Axel's fist when it was about to connect with his jaw. "Nice try." He pulled the trigger from his smaller freeze gun, freezing Axel's feet to the floor.

Chapter Text

"Come on, have not you ever wanted to slap me? Just a little?" James kicked his feet back and forth from where he was perched on top of the kitchen counter. "Just give me an honest answer."

"Yeah."

"Absolutely."

"Yes."

"Wouldn't have to ask me twice."

"Without hesitation."

"Yes... Wait, what are we voting on?" Mick asked, managing to tare his eyes from his lighter.

"I was not asking you people!" James barked at the rest of the Rouges. "I was talking to Piper."

"Face it. Ya set yerself up fer that one." Digger said from where he was splayed lazily across the couch.

"So are we going to punch you now or later?" Sam asked, sitting down next to Digger. "Cause if it's later, then I need to now, because Digger and I were going out drinking later."

“Okay, now you're just being unfair.” James complained.

"James," Piper spoke up. "Face it, everyone here has wanted to punch you into next week. I mean I wanted to punch you from the moment you stole my popcorn, and that was from week one."

"I made you a sandwich the next day!" James exclaimed.

"An exploding sandwich, and you threw it at his face." Cold pointed out.

"And mayo went everywhere," Mick nodded.

"Dunno how it got behind the fridge though." Digger said, scratching his chin. "None of us ever figured that one out."

"It was how it hit my face." Piper said.

"Wow, I'm feeling so attacked right now."

"You're the one who asked the question." Roy said to him.

"I wasn't expecting everyone to jump in and attack me like this!"

Chapter Text

“You have to be kidding me!”

James grinned.

“No, no, you literally have to be shitting me!”

His grin widened.

Damn him.

“James,” The Pied Piper slapped his hand against his forehead. “What the hell? Let me get this straight…”

“You? Straig-”

”James…!” Hartley all but growled at his flamboyant companion.

“Ah… Yeah, so I stole this.”

“You- You stole- I mean,” Piper took a step back from the large container, eyes hooked on the enormous logo painted on the side of it. “You stole from Lex Luthor! You stole the man’s kryptonite!” he screamed at the Trickster. “He’s going to know it’s missing! And you’re as good as dead when he finds out who has it! What the hell are you even going to do with it?! We don't even fight Superman!”

Then he looked over the huge container that looked heavily armored, perfectly intact, and had the door at one of the narrow ends sealed with what appeared to be a very powerful lock. Above that, in dulled but imposing red stencil, was "DANGER! DO NOT OPEN!"

“You can’t even open it!”

"Yes I can!” James said, grabbing a crowbar from somewhere within his magical bag of tricks.

Hartley gave him a deadpanned expression. "Seriously? A crowbar? That’s your plan?”

"Of course not!" The Trickster said, laughing at his friend’s reaction. "The crowbar is for you,” he threw it down to Piper. “My special, homemade acidic pies are for me. These babies will melt the doors right off their hinges!" he proclaimed proudly.

“Why didn’t I just stay and watch the damn football game with the Rouges?” Piper asked himself, watching as the Trickster threw a pie at the container’s doors. The lock quickly melted away- a dark mark where it had once been.

James rubbed his gloved hands together greedily. “Come on, Pipes! The sooner we grab the kryptonite, the sooner I can sell it back to Luthor for triple the price!”

“Wonderfu- Wait! WHAT!?” Hartley shouted. “That’s your plan!?”

“Brilliant, I know.”

Piper slapped his forehead again. “Oh God... We’re gonna die.”

Chapter Text

“One pair,”

“James, you put two dead fish on the table…”

“Oh, my bad. Here, one pair.”

“Two pairs,”

“Full house, boys.”

“Strewth,” Digger angrily threw his cards away and glared at Sam from across the table. The reflective Rouge grabbed the decent sized pile of stolen jewels and pushed it to his side with the other goods.

Len sent a similar glare to Sam. “You’ve got to be cheating, that is your sixth win in a row.” he thrummed.

Mirror Master sent them a coy wink. “I just know how to play, boys. No need to get riled up about that.” He smiled.

“Man, I wait all week for poker night,” James pouted, resting his head on the table. “And I manage to lose a month’s worth of loot!”

“And I manage to lose a month’s worth of beer whenever I invite you guys over…” Mark muttered mainly to himself.

"That's what you get for offering to have poker night at your place." Mick told him.

"I was drunk when I offered that!"

"Eh, whatever. Drunken slurs or not, the words still came out of your mouth, Marky-Mark."

Digger then got up from his seat and threw his cards down. “Well I’m out.” He told them as he walked towards the kitchen.

“Don’t be a bitch, Digger.” Sam told him. He got the double bird in reply.

Boomer came back with two beers in both hands. “Mark, you’re almost out.”

“That just means poker night is almost over.” Len spoke up before Mark could groan and complain. “C’mon guys, let’s play. Daddy needs a new pair of diamonds.” He said, shuffling the cards and showing off as he did so.

Since Digger chose to withdraw before the gambling got any more reckless, he sat back in his chair and drank as the game continued to unfold. Eventually, the pile of money and jewels in the middle of the table about covered the table. Sam, it seemed, wanted to win all the loot that Len was willing to bet. Mick, Mark and James had folded, not wishing to lose all their hard earned, stolen loot. All eyes at the table were fixed on Captain Cold and Mirror Master, who regarded each other with steely cold expressions. These Rouges were playing for all or nothing.

"I call," Sam said, coolly.

Len’s lips twitched and he raised his voice, pointing out the cards as he spoke, "Five, six, seven, eight, nine. Straight."

Sam growled and slammed his fist down on the table. "Okay, I was bluffing- two pair."

“You just bluffed instead of cheating so Cold wouldn’t have to freeze your ass to your seat!” James pointed out.

“Whatever,” Digger laughed loudly. “The smug bastard finally lost!”

Cold sipped from his drink as Sam pushed the pile of goods in his direction. "Chill out, guys," he told them, looking around at each of the Rouges with a grin. “Don’t make Sam feel too bad about losing.”

Chapter Text

Expertly, Roscoe snaked his tongue out and swiped it along Lisa's lower lip, seeking entry. Lisa smirked, denying him and making him work harder for it.

His hands found themselves tangled up in the multiple spaghetti straps of her dress as their mouths meshed together in a series of fumbling kisses that gradually became easy and heated.

Roscoe inhaled her scent and elicited small sound that tattled his own excitement before going in for a second kiss, this time being allowed to take the lead. His own tongue met Lisa's halfway, and the kiss became wet and passionate, saliva mixing and teeth scraping.

Lisa moaned against Roscoe's mouth as he pressed his body closer to hers. She loved how passionate Roscoe could be and how he could bring her to a point where she couldn't think over his magical hands, traveling lower down her back. She threw her arms around his neck, letting her boyfriend attack her mouth with his. She moaned loudly, biting his lower lip as he squeezed her ass tightly.

"You like that?" Roscoe whispered teasingly, while squeezing her again.

"Like what?" A very frosty voice intruded their lip lock. Before they could pull away from each other, they saw a blue parka enter their sights.

"Lenny! W- We were j- just-" Lisa started to say, facing her brother. There was no hiding the act they had been doing. Their hands were in places that would forever scar Len's eyes for life. Lisa looked to Roscoe, and she swore she had never seen her boyfriend more scared for his life than now.

Chapter Text

"Jumping out of a plane is dangerous," The Trickster shouted over the sound of the roaring jet turbine. "They say one in five people don't even make it to the ground!"

"What do you mean they don't make it to the ground?! Where do they go?!" Hartley yelled back at him. The turbine on the left side finally chomped up some kite debris and blew, sending the Pied Piper spiraling forward onto the Trickster's back. "James, I'm not jumping! And I swear if we make it out of this, I'm going to kill you!"

"Babe," James turned around and pat his head. "Trust me, we're going to make it out alive."

"You stole BATMAN'S jet!!!"

"Okay, so we're going to make it out alive, but we're going to have broken legs..."

"How do you rope me into these things!?"

"Ya know, I barely know myself..." he offered up weakly.

Bright lights were flashing, sirens were blaring and a robotic voice suddenly broke through the noise and told them about how they were about to crash into the Gotham Bay. Piper covered his eyes with his gloved hands and shouted, "James, pull up! For god's sake, PULL UP!!!"

"I got it, I got it," The Trickster told him, grabbing a hold of the controls and managing to barely get the jet back under his control. "I just wanna know how we managed to run into Kiteman!"

"He works in Gotham!"

"Yeah, well, he's lucky saw us and managed to land on a roof!"

"You almost ran him over," Piper growled. "And his KITE got caught up in the TURBINE!!!"

"It was his fault," James said. "He was in OUR lane!"

"It's the fucking sky!"

"I know, right?! Such a road-hog." James rolled his eyes under his domino mask. "Hey, I wonder if this baby has a radio built into it-"

"One of the turbines is blown to bits, and you're worried if we can pick up some fucking tunes!?"

"And here I thought you liked music-"

"THIS ISN'T THE TIME!"

Chapter Text

“What do you think about getting married?” Sam asked one day. Digger, whose head was laying down on Sam's lap, simply started laughing at the idea of being married.

“Like a marriage between us?” he sniggered.

“Yes. It’s a great idea.”

“Really? Ya married? Us married? Blimey, am I completely pissed or what?"

"George, I'm serious." Sam lightly slapped the top of his head.

"Me too, mate, but ya just plopped this roight on me."

"Why not get married? I love you-"

"Same 'ere, mate."

"So why not just get married?" Sam asked him.

George shifted and now rested his back against his partner's chest. "Ya just want ta use that testimonial privilege thingy."

"Well," Sam shrugged. "It would be nice to use in our criminal cases. You may refuse to testify against me. Oh, and we can use the communications privilege, too."

"It'd only really be good fer our team ups, roight?"

"Not just for our team ups, Digger." Sam told him. "You're mainly thinking of Len and Mick there."

"Yeah, 'cause the bastards have ta do everythin' together."

"True," Sam agreed. He let his hands fall from the back of the couch and wrap themselves around his lover. "But still... Let's get married, George. I love you."

Digger sighed and leaned into the comforting touch. "I luv ya, too."

"And if we got married, then nothing could stand in our way.”

“I dunno, I'd be breakin' quite a few hearts if I did that."

"George,"

Digger smiled and said, “Kiddin', mate. I want ya, ya damn bastard, for better or worse.”

“I'll take that for a yes.” Sam hugged him tight and kissed him, making both of their hearts feel as if they were going to beat out of their chests.

"I know a noice jewelry store 'n bank next ta a church downtown."

“Fantastic," Sam smiled, peppering kisses along Digger's sideburns. "I'll contact a priest and set the date."

"But fer now," He turned around and pressed their chests together. "What says ya 'bout celebratin' with a few drinks?”

"I love it," Sam grinned widely and sank into a deep kiss with him.

Chapter Text

“Pipes!” Axel shouted ringing the doorbell non-stop, “Hartley! C'mon open the door before I hire some dumb goons to break it down! You know I can do that! Don't pretend like there aren't some really stupid goons down the street just waiting for a simple job!”

The door opened and a hand shot out of the apartment and seized the young Trickster by the collar of his shirt. Hartley looked utterly disheveled in his current state, like he just lost in a fight against Bane. He stared at him with a deep scowl of displeasure, the same one a parent would give to a spoiled child. "...Do you know what time it is?"

"Um..." Axel looked down at his phone and checked the time. "Half past three-"

“Half past three in the fucking morning! What could be so damn important that it couldn't wait until morning!?” the red head growled in anger, “No, wait! Let me guess! You found the world's largest supply of silly putty. Or perhaps you discovered the world's loudest whoopee cushion.” he exclaimed hotly and shoved Axel right up against the wall opposite of his apartment. "Tell me, what could be so damn important that you make come running up the stairs to my apartment, ring my doorbell until it's broken, beat my damn door in, and bring me to the brink of insanity!?!" he hissed and moved so close to him that their noses were almost touching.

By this point, Axel felt goose bumps running along his arms and a dark blush cross his features. “I, ah, I mean,” he found himself at a loss for words to utter, his voice soft and unsure. "Um..."

Hartley stared at the younger man for a few seconds, then much to his shock Axel gave him a quick peck on the lips. The Pied Piper shot up in shock, moved backwards into his apartment, lost his step and landed on his green chair.

“...What the HELL?!?” he shouted in shock, touching his lips and turning beat red in embarrassment.

“Well you see,” Axel answered him cheerily and without a hint of remorse, “I stayed up all night trying to figure out if I liked you. It's been digging at me for weeks now, and I just couldn't take it anymore!”

"And you had to kiss me to find out...?"

"Yes!"

“THAT’S IT!” Hartley shouted and shot up, his outburst causing the young Trickster to jump. "I'm going to knock your block off!"

"Pipes, babe, be honest," Axel said, holding his hands up. "Who the hell even says that anymore?"

"Argh!" And so he began chasing him through the apartment building, wearing nothing but his green, fluffy bathrobe.

Chapter Text

It started when Jesse and Axel suggested a vacation to Disney World.

Lashawn, Mark and Roy are the first three to agree, finding a fun trip to Disney World to be a great idea.

Eventually, Axel got Hartley to say yes, Roscoe only agreed to go when Lisa mentioned she wanted to go, and both Digger and Sam only agreed to go if someone brought a lot of booze for the road.

Mick couldn't care less, so he and the others were left waiting for Lenny to say yes.

"Fine," Cold snapped one day. He was getting sick and tired of everyone silently staring at him. "We can take a damn vacation. I'm not payin' for it though!"

"Eh, fair enough," the Tricksters both shrugged.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

"The tea cups?" And this was exactly why Lenny didn't want to take a trip to Disney World. Lisa always had to drag him onto the freaking tea cups.

"Come on, Lenny!" she smiled. "It'll be fun!"

"No it won't,"

"C'mon, it'll be great fun like the Small World ride!" Axel chimed in right behind the two of them.

"My point still stands," he sighed as they walked to the front of the line.

Jesse giggled, "You rob banks and ATMs, even face off against the Flash, but a giant sit and spin scares you?"

"I hate getting motion sickness," He muttered as Lisa shoved him into an overgrown cup.

"We'll take it easy on you," she told him. "Right, Mick?"

He nodded, "Sure. Never cared much for this ride anyway."

"Right, Roscoe?"

"B- But this is one of my favorite rides!" he tried to protest.

Lisa gave him a look.

"Fine... I guess we can go again later, my dear."

Len almost laughed; the ride couldn't be so bad if Roscoe wasn't getting his way.

As the ride started up, the world became a spinning a blur of color and childish shrieks for most of the people on the tea cups. While their cup simply spun around, Len could spot Axel and Jesse trying to force their cup to spin as fast as it could. He could also hear the other Rouges on the other side of the ride, seemingly having a very fun time.

Soon enough, the ride came to a slow halt. "See I told you," Lisa pointed out. "You survived, Lenny."

He shrugged. "It was okay, I guess-" He stopped and raised his brow when he saw the Tricksters walk out and try to stand on wobbly legs. Jesse quickly sat down on a park bench, forcing his body to settle before it made him topple over. Axel, on the other hand, missed the bench completely and wobbled right in front of Cold.

Before he could even look up at Len, his face became green and there was suddenly puke all over Len's shoes. Cold just kind of stared down at the kid, like he was contemplating if it would be worth punching him in a park full of kids or not. The other Rouges stepped back, some trying to hide their smiles and muffle their grins while other didn't know if Len would whip out his cold gun.

Jesse, having calmed down from the ride, just lost it, giggling and cackling, unable to help but laugh at the situation.

"Did you just..." He had to take in a deep breath real quick."Just barf on me?" he asked in a low, chilling voice.

"Oh Jesus Christ, Axel," Mark cringed at the disgusting sight.

"That’s disgusting and- Oh god it’s in his shoes!" Sam exclaimed. Beside him, Digger couldn’t stop laughing, slapping his knee like it was the funniest thing he'd seen all month.

"We're never going on the tea cups again..." Len growled, shivering as each step he took swished around the vomit in his shoes.

"Jesse, go get him a bucket!" Lashawn told the older Rouge. "It’s getting everywhere!"

"I think," Hartley was starting to turn as green as his sweater. "I think I’m going to puke, too."

"Then stop lookin' at it!" Roy said, grabbing him by the shoulder and tugging him away.

Axel started running through his puke and towards the nearest trash can. "Trash can!!!"

"That was the best plan yet!" Jesse giggled lightly.

Roy sent him a glare from behind his shades. "You're just saying that cause you didn't get sick or puked on."

"You're right," Jesse said, standing up. "I'll make it up to him."

Lisa nodded, "You better-"

"C'mon, Axel." Jesse drug him towards the ice cream cart. "We'll get you an ice cream treat~!"

"No, Jesse!" Lisa snapped at him. "I meant my brother!"

"We'll get him ice cream, too."

"Woo," Digger wiped a tear from his eye, leaning up against Sam. "Best vacation ever!"

Chapter Text

“Give me a hit, would you?”

Evan raised his brow at the teen's demand but nonetheless handed Axel the joint. He took it gingerly with his index and thumb, put it between his teeth, and inhaled.

“Dunnot waste it,” Evan told him, leaning back on the sofa.

Axel smiled as he finished inhaling the smoke into his lungs. The familiar burn from the joint traced its way down his throat, filling and expanding until it felt as though he held a crackling fire in his chest.

"Yer not gonna pass out on me, yeah?"

"Nah, just feelin' warm for the first time all day." Axel sighed, passing the joint back, and watched as Evan took another hit, eyes half-lidded, knees drawn up to his chest with his chin resting on them. He was wrapped up in a blanket and surrounded by wrappers from various snack foods that had been consumed.

Axel grabbed a box of chex mix on the coffee table and shoved a handful in his mouth. He found that he really craved salt and texture more than sweetness whenever he got high.

“Eatin' my damn snack,” Evan muttered, tipping his head back and closing his eyes. He heard Axel snatch up his water bottle and drink the rest of it, throwing it off to the side when he was done with it. “I could lie down, actually,” he said.

Evan growled, “Sofa is mine,”

“Ughhh, dude, don't be like this.” Axel sighed heavily, closing his eyes. He walked forwards and laid down on Evan's lap, stealing his joint and spilling chex mix all over the sofa. "Yeah, this is much better."

"Spoiled bastard,"

"Yeah, same to you, you fucking jerkass.”

Chapter Text

Mick brought in a steaming tray with tomato soup as Len sneezed into his tissues.

"Unlike puns, irony," Mick said, trying not to laugh. "Isn't your friend, Lenny."

Len felt his stomach flop and began to slide lower under his sheets, snuffling. If the Flash hadn't beat him into a pile of snow and left him there for the cops to find, then he would've never gotten a cold.

"You need anything else?" Mick asked as he set up the tray across Len's knees.

"'Ughh, no," Cold replied hoarsely, raising enough in his bed to get a good angle at his soup. His eyes felt watery and everything else just hurt. He picked up the spoon and began to get a scoop when he noticed Mick was turning to leave. "'...Mick," he said before sniffing as hard as he could. "Cough syrup." he said before his voice turned into a series of hacking coughs.

"Anything else?" he asked, once the coughing settled.

Len wheezed, "No...." And with that, he tried to relax and resign himself to his homemade soup. Homemade soup that he would never tell Mick that he couldn't taste with his cold. He savored how the hot liquid felt going down his throat and warmed his chilled bones. He was just resting his eyes between spoonfuls when he knew someone was at the door.

"Mick..." Len said, making grabby hand motions in the air. "Miiiiccckk..." he whined before his partner came over and sat down on the bed. He grabbed Mick's hands and sighed in relief when his warm hands enveloped his cold ones.

"You're so needy when you're sick." he mused, mainly to himself. "No wonder Lisa never volunteers to babysit you when you're like this."

"Shuddap and keep me warm,"

"Whatever you say, Lenny." Mick said, then pressed a kiss to his partner's forehead.

Chapter Text

“I'm gonna make him angry.”

Mick just stared at him, glancing back and forth between Axel and Len, who Axel was staring at from across the warehouse. “Word of advice, Ax... Don't. Plain and simple.”

Axel's grin grew, “Yeah, but he’s always so cold, so… Well, controlled! It's driving me crazy! So, I'm gonna break 'em!”

“No, you won't.” Mick told him, his facial expression growing more and more serious. "You don't gotta break all your little toys, you brat."

The young Trickster arched an eyebrow at him, "And why not?”

“Cause you don't wanna see Lenny when he gets angry.” Mick muttered, shuddering slightly as if reliving some traumatic event.

"What? Does he 'Hulk Out' or something?" he laughed.

Mick shook his head, "Just say I didn't warn you."

"C'mon, Mickey, this is gonna be fun!" Axel said. "He can't kill me for having fun."

"The kid's gonna die." Mick sighed, walking away from the explosive Rouge.

XXXXXXX

Cold knew something was up when all of his left socks had disappeared. He just borrowed (stole) Sam's for a few days.

He grew suspicious when all of his shampoo was replaced with different condiments. He just went without a shower until he bought more shampoo.

He became irritated when the lights in his room switched on and off at random times in the night. He just slept in Mick's room.

But he only drew the line when his prankster resorted to jumpscaring to get a real reaction out of him. He wasn't going to put up with that shit.

It was a normal Monday morning, Len had just stopped by Lisa's apartment in the early morning like he always did. He had a little smile on his face and a brown paper bag of freshly cooked biscuits that he’d picked up on his way there. Lisa greeted him at the door with a quick peck on the cheek.

They were almost to the kitchen when a strange noise started coming from Lisa's hallway closet.

There were a few dramatic scratches against the door here, a quiet jiggle of the doorknob there, and that was more than enough to peak siblings’ interest. Lisa went over to the door, but she jumped back quickly as Axel quite literally kicked the closet door off of its hinges.

The young Trickster jumped out at the unsuspecting person, thinking them to be Cold. The door bounced against the wall, and Lisa screamed so loud that all of them were worried Lisa's neighbors would call the police.

Axel doubled over and laughed until his stomach hurt, while Lisa's face managed to turn an impressive shade of red. "You broke into my apartment just to scare me!?"

Len set a hand on her shoulder, glaring down at the young Trickster. "No. Axel came here to scare me... or at least he tried."

Axel had stopped laughing at that point, finally noticing that he'd scared the wrong Snart.

"You're going to re-position the closet door," Cold said, indifferently. "Get the hell out of my sister's apartment, forget where her apartment is, and wait for me back at the base."

"Heeeey, c'mon! It was just a prank, bro-" A fist connected with Axel's jaw, cutting him off and silencing him.

Mick poked his head out from the living room, having found something more entertaining than Law and Order: SVU to watch. "I tried to tell ya, kid."

Chapter Text

Hartley took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes wearily, summoning the last fragments of his patience that he could possibly find. "Okay. So just run it by me one more time. The two of you did what to escape the Flash?"

The Tricksters were, for some unfathomable, ridiculous reason, sopping wet and covered in grime. James’ oily suit and Axel’s flashy clothes were plastered to their bodies. James was sitting down in Hartley’s armchair, picking at the dirt under his nails. Axel ran a hand threw his hair, muttering about the water messing up the gel he’d put in his hair that morning.

The younger Trickster took in a deep breath. "So we ended up going into the sewer," he tried to explain, calmly.

James sat back in the chair, now digging his nails into the chair’s fabric, and grumbled, “I had a boat ready in the tunnel system for our getaway, but we ended up getting in the wrong manhole. Okay? Good! End of story! We don’t want to talk about our great, fantastic adventure through shit.”

"Why? …Just why?" Hartley asked, further lowering his face into his hands. Great. Now he had to throw his chair and rug out…

"Well, we didn’t want to get caught!"

"But why did you have to come up with such a stupid escape plan!?" Of course, as he said this, Hartley recalled that these two hardly ever made any sense to anyone but themselves. Using a normal getaway car might have just seemed far too normal for some people like the Tricksters.

He shook his head, hopelessly. “You two are incredibly intelligent criminal minds.” he told them. “You’re able to construct grand plans and play them out on an enormous scale, but I hardly ever see any foresight when it comes to your schemes! It just leads you to do idiotic things like-”

“Like jumping straight down into a shoulder deep sewer tunnel?” Axel sighed deeply.

James shivered, “Ugh...! Shoulder deep for you, kiddo.” He looked over to Piper and said, “Let me tell you, the sewers are no place for short people.”

“Hey, I gave you a piggyback ride.”

“Yes, after we both jumped in.” he muttered, absent-mindedly starting to wring his socks out, seemingly not giving a shit that he was ruining Hartley’s rug and the floor.

Piper just groaned, "Look, I don’t care anymore, guys. I just couldn't possibly care anymore about this. One of you, go take the first shower and at least scrape some of the grime from your bodies.”

“What about our clothes?” Axel asked him.

“Then… Then I shall burn them,” Hartley said in the calmest voice his could manage. “And everything you two have touched in my apartment.”

James giggled uncomfortably at the burning notion, and he glanced over to his son. "I think we finally broke him..."

Axel nodded in agreement. “Maybe we should have bothered Lenny, instead.”

Chapter Text

Axel screamed.

His eyes were wide open, he was covered with sweat, and his breathing was shaky and uneven. He scrambled out of his bed, managing to fall face first onto the floor, before he jumped up. He felt the sides of the walls of the apartment, seeking safety and comfort as he made his way along to another room.

XXXX

James woke up.

It was a shame too since he was having the dream where he was trapped in Edvard Munch’s The Scream, and he had just declared paintball war against the Easter Bunny after the damn rabbit cheated in their card game. But, honestly, he’s surprised he didn’t wake up sooner with someone walking around his huge apartment. He may sleep like a corpse, but one noise was typically more than enough to stir him from his slumber. So he wasn’t all too surprised when his heart started beating really fast, and he forced himself into consciousness and flailed upright, eyes on the shadowy figure at his door.

“Dad?” Axel whispered into the darkness. “Y- You awake?”

James sat back and relaxed into his pillows. It was just Axel… He sighed and looked at his son, who was peering into his room with one cheek pressed to the doorframe. “Axel,” he groaned, suddenly feeling his body’s reaction to his two hours of sleep. He rubbed his head with his fingers, wondering what the hell his kid could want at an hour like this. Maybe he found a group of homeless people outside their apartment, and he wants to strap fireworks to them. James smiled at the thought.

Axel shuffled into his room, a blue blanket draped around his ridiculously skinny frame. “C- Can I come in?” he asked, rather timidly. James raised a brow at that. Axel hadn't ever so... scared before. He watched his boy sway uneasily on his feet, looking as frightened as the little mouse who had barely escaped the cat’s claws. “D- Dad…?”

“You’re already in my room, Axel.” He told him, then leaned over to switch on his lamp.

“Y- Yeah,” he squeaked. He moved towards the bed and touched its edge with shaky hands. James caught the signals and moved over a bit.

“I guess you want to stay with me for the night…” he said. Axel nodded at him.

James lowered himself back down under the blankets and sighed, “Just shut the door, Axel.” And just like that, the door is shut, and that cold breeze from the AC won’t make his room feel like Antarctica come morning. Slowly, he shut his eyes and tried to go back to sleep.

Axel waited until his father shut his eyes and his breathing evened out, then he silently crept along the edges of the bed and crawled underneath its covers. He’s taller than his father, so he curled up around him. Finally, he felt safe.

He wriggled until his head was resting on top of his father’s, and he snuggled into his side. His father grumbled something and twitched, kicking his legs out and bumping them against Axel’s feet. Axel smiled when his father’s socks scraped over his feet, and he threw his arm over his waist so he couldn’t roll away in his sleep, feeling very tethered and content.

He’s warm. He’s safe. He’s with his father.

James opened an eye the second he knew his son had fallen asleep. He paid a glance up at Axel and smiled. He looks so cute.

He had watched him lay down beside him, wrap his arms around him, and snuggle into his side with an amazing sigh of relief.

“Goodnight, Axel,” he whispered softly.

Chapter Text

“Please, don’t leave.”

“But the bar is closed, Pipes.” James pointed out.

“Well, yes, but," he mumbled, trying to hide the red blush on his face. "Could you help me move this table? It’s a little bit much on my own, and I think it’s crooked. Do you think it’s crooked?"

"It’s kind of-"

"I know, it's hard to tell from this angle. Maybe a little to the left?"

"Hart-"

"No, I don’t think it’s this table that’s crocked, it’s the other one on the other side of the bar. C’mere, take the other end. I just really need to get them aligned, alright?"

“Hartley…” James tried to cut in.

“What- mmph, oh!” He stopped talking abruptly as James pressed his mouth against his firmly.

"Let's get you home, buddy." James said, taking his hand in his.

“You will? Really?" He leaned up heavily against him. "Gotta tell you, I haven’t, uh, cleaned or anything...”

James kissed him again. “C’mon. Bar is closed. Do you want me to take you over my shoulder so that you can nap?”

Piper blushed and sputtered. “Um, well. I wouldn’t – I mean, if you want –!” He settled for kissing James, thoroughly, as his boyfriend carried him off.

Chapter Text

“Hypothetically, how many people do you think we’d need before it would be considered an orgy?”

Cold looked up from his book. “…Excuse you?”

“How many people? I mean, how many do you'd think we’d need before it would be considered an orgy?” Axel repeated, slowly. He held up two fingers. “See, two is just a pair, three is a threesome, four is two pairs… so it has to be five, right?” Each sentence got another finger held up, and he looked at Captain Cold expectedly.

“…Your father really did drop you on your head, didn't he?"

“I'm just saying! Hypothetically, if you had to choose three other people-”

“No.”

“Dude! C'mon, it’s a totally hypothetical question!” he exclaimed, waving his arms about.

“It’s a ridiculous question.” Cold lifted his book, wanting no part of the discussion, and resumed his reading.

Axel leaned over the couch and placed his hand over his book, blocking Len’s view. “I’m just saying, if you had to choose… Who would it be?”

"Axel-"

"Mick, I can get behind." the young Trickster babbled on. "Hartley would be nice, but I don't know how he feels about an orgy. Roy's into some kinky shit so that could be a load of fun. Mark... Mhmm, I dunno, he makes it rain indoors when he gets off, and I don't like soggy sheets. C'mon, Lenny, you gotta help me out here."

They stared at each other for a few moments, before Cold grabbed Axel’s hands off his book and lifted them to his lips. “Why would I want to share you, Trix?”

“…Ooooh, you're a real smooth fucker when you want to be~” Axel grinned.

Len answered him by tugging him into his lap and pressing kisses on his cheek.

Chapter Text

It was so strange that he saw this as a normal thing.

Sam was laying back, his breathing slow and soft in the early hours of the morning. He was trying not to disturb the man sleeping beside him. Half-atop him, really, with his head resting on his chest. Sam smiled and resisted the strong temptation to run his fingers through his sleeping partner's messy hair.

He breathed in deep and exhaled, starting to crave his morning cigarette. He looked over to the nightstand and saw his pack sitting there, but he wasn't going to move to get them. That'd wake up him up.

Jeeze, Sam thought, when did he start giving up smoking in bed just so that his partner could catch a few more hours sleep? Actually, how long had they been doing this, he thought to himself. How long has this been a thing? He wanted to say a couple of months, but he knew it'd probably been over a year or so.

Of course, he wasn't complaining about waking up in a bed with a warm body by his side. He just wanted to know when he started trusting someone who he knew would be there for him at the end of the day to share a beer with him.

But after such a long time of comfort and affection, Sam was only just getting over the idea that this was real. This was a part of his life now. It wasn't all just mirrors, heists and battling the Flash anymore.

He chuckled lightly. Now that he thought about it, it wasn't all just boomerangs, heists and battling the Flash anymore for his partner, either.

Probably roused by the laugh above his head, Digger stirred gently.

“Uggghh, Sammy?” he asked, his voice even rougher with sleep. Sam leaned forward and smile softly into his curly hair.

“I'm here.”

“What's the time, darlin'?”

He glanced over at Digger's alarm clock beside the bed. Sam craned his neck to see it.

“It's about four now.”

Digger mumbled some curses under his breath and turned his face further into Sam's toned chest, nosing at the thin, dark hair he found there. Sam sighed and finally gave in to his impulses. He brought a hand up, smoothing over the curly brown mess that Digger called hair. He swore that one of these days, he'd get Digger to get a proper haircut. Today, however, he knew was not that day.

“I'm gonna slip out and go get breakfast.” Sam said, his nails scratching lightly against the nape of his lover's neck. Digger shivered slightly at the touch, then his arm tightened around Sam's thin waist.

“No,” he murmured. "Stay 'ere."

"If I don't go get breakfast, then you're gonna bitch about it when you get up." Sam pointed out to him.

"No, I won't,"

"Yes, you will,"

"No," Sam giggled at him. He couldn't help it. Alright, he'd stay. He'd stay and get caught up in the warmth of his lover's body, and they'd fall back to sleep in sheer minutes.

Chapter Text

“I have brothers?”

“No,” Digger told him. Flatly.

“Yeah, you do, kid.” Cold said.

Owen frowned. “Why didn’t you tell me, dad?”

“I'm not their father,” Digger said, looking everywhere but his son. “I'm yer father.”

Cold sighed and shook his head. "Still could've told 'em before he tried to slice their heads off with boomerangs, Digger."

“I agree with Len on that,” Mark said, seeming to materialize on the couch. He leaned back onto the cushions and said, “You could've told him.”

“Well I didn't!” Digger snapped at them. "And hell, if it helps any, I didn't even fuckin' know 'till 'bout a good while ago!"

Owen rested his head on his hands. “D’ya think they'd like me?”

Digger threw his hands up in the air. “How'd I know!? I'd never spent time with 'em 'cept in battle!"

“Just wondering, dad.” Owen muttered lowly. “Never had brothers before...”

“Trust me, Owen,” his father said. "Brothers are assholes. End of story. Buncha good fer nothin'-"

“That might be the first thing he's ever said that I might be inclined to agree with.” Lisa smiled, leaning against the wall.

"Depends on your mood," Len muttered into his drink.

"Depends on if you're being a total ass, Lenny." she snapped back at him.

“Dad,” Owen said, catching his father's attention again. “Would... Would we be able to meet them?”

Digger raised his fist, as if to start on some long speech about all the reasons he wanted to be as far away from Meloni's other kids. He stopped himself, looked at the other Rouges in the room, saw their faces split into grins, and cursed, loudly. “Fine! But yer gonna contact 'em."

Chapter Text

“You are going to be late, Scarlet.” Barry didn’t even move a muscle, moving meant throwing off the nice, warm blanket and crawling his way into a cold bathroom. “I know you aren't asleep, open your eyes.” He refused to open them up. “Barry... Barry, wake up.”

“…”

“Barry,”

“….Mmmhmm?” He smiled sleepily when he opened his eyes and looked over Len’s face. God, what a beautiful sight to wake up to every day, he thought to himself. He sighed, hugging his partner gently. Barry knew that he had to get up eventually, but it just felt so good to wake up and curl around Len like the little spoon his was.

Len sighed and picked up the little digital clock off the nightstand. He tapped it against Barry’s head, gently. “You are going to be late for work if you don’t get up right now."

He waited a second. "Barry?”

Another second passed by. "Are you even able to comprehend English this early in the morning?"

“Mmhm, it’s fine, it’s fine,” Len sighed, deeply. His archenemy/boyfriend had left him with no choice, at this point; he pinched him. "Oouch! Hey, what’s that for?" he yelped, confused, his mind obviously still very much in dreamland.

“They're going to fire you if you do not get your lazy butt up, Barry.” Len told him, plain and clear.

“Lazy? Those weren’t the kind of remarks you were making about my butt last night, Lenny.” And if Len swore he didn't blush, then he'd be a liar. He sighed, feeling a little defeated at this point. "Hey, it’s fine. They're still cleaning up the labs from when the Tricksters tried to escape custody. They're letting me work from home until they can fix the damage."

Len sunk back in the bed and groaned, "How could I forget Jesse and Axel doing something so idiotic...?"

"It's fine... and now I get to sleep in and spoon with you all morning, Len.” He smiled and cupped his boyfriend's cheek.

Len gave a little smile, “So that's your grand plan for the day, Scarlet?” He reached up, touching his fingertips lightly to the hand on his cheek.

“Yup,” Barry nodded.

"For some reason, I expected a little more from you."

“Well, I did count on you waking me up early so that I could do this.” He raised his head and kissed him gently. His hands slid down Len's smooth sides, pulling him gently to his warm body as his lips moved against his partner’s.

Len gently broke away and muttered, "Mmhm, now there's a plan I can get behind."

"C'm here, Len," Barry complained, pursing his lips together and begging Len to get back to kissing him. Needless to say, Len was more than willing to oblige him.

Chapter Text

“Owen?" Meloni called out to him. "Owen?! Where are you, baby?!”

The little boy clamped his lips shut and held his hand over his mouth tightly, in an attempt to keep himself from bursting out into giggles. His muffled chuckles grew slightly louder as he heard the loud footsteps of his father. Unlike his wife's calm approach to find their son, Digger was frantically running back and forth through the house trying to find his son.

"Owen! Ya better show yer arse roight now or so help me-"

"George," Meloni snapped at him. "That is not helping!"

"And just askin' where the bloody hell he is, is helpin'?!"

His mommy must have given him one of her famous 'looks', because his daddy quickly went quiet and went back to tearing up the living room to find him.

Owen made sure not to laugh loud enough for them to hear him. He was just having waaaay too much fun hiding, and he didn’t want it to end just yet. He was actually really surprised that his parents hadn't been able to find him yet. It seemed like they had searched the entire house looking for him. He almost giggled out-loud, finding it funny that they hadn't been able to figure out where he was.

He had been playing for hours, and in his mind, only made the game more fun. The same couldn't be said for his parents, however. The longer they looked for him the more worried they became. All they knew was that their little boy was missing, and they couldn’t find him.

Digger searched the entire house, from all the bedrooms, bathrooms, laundry room and kitchen, and he still didn't have a clue as to where Owen was. Meloni trailed after him, double checking every room once he left. After looking through the house, they went outside, assuming that he'd gone out back to play.

They looked outside for over two hours before Owen heard his daddy stomp back inside. He heard him yank the phone off the wall and start to call up his uncles, asking for help. He noticed that his parents had turned from worried to almost hysterical.

Owen tilted his head in confusion. Why weren't they having fun? He was having a blast, so shouldn't they be, too? He just didn't understand it...

“Sam, look, we can’t find 'em anywhere! He’s fuckin' gone!” He cursed, before a long pause.

“No, ya blood bastard! I don't fuckin' know! He’s just four years old! So you fuckin' come down here and tell me where he could have possibly have gone or else I'll fuckin' smash yer damn mirrors!” He shouted into the phone. Owen almost wanted to cover his ears; he had never heard his daddy yell at his uncles like that before.

"Yer no help, Len's no help, Mick's no help," he listed. "James, Hartley, Roscoe- yer all wastin' my time!"

He heard the phone being slammed down on the kitchen counter and long string of curses come from his daddy's mouth.

"Owen, where are ya!?" He could hear the worry and anger in his daddy's rough voice. He frowned. Maybe it was about time he stopped playing.

He scrambled out of the small vent beside the top of the stairs and sneezed. Why did his favorite hiding spot always have to be so dusty? He brushed the dust from the front of his shirt before he made his way downstairs. He toddled into the kitchen and glanced up to see his daddy quickly pacing back and forth across the room.

He went to his mommy and tugged on sleeve, quickly gaining her attention. She gasped and gathered her baby boy up in her arms, pressing kisses to his forehead over and over again.

“Owen! Where have you been?!” His mommy cried, clinging tightly to him. His daddy turned around in shock, but he quickly became angry again. He crossed his arms and glared down at his boy.

"In the vents,” he told them, his eyes looking everywhere but at his daddy.

“Don’t you ever hide from me again, young man!” Meloni told him.

"I didn't-" Didn't mean to make you cry, he thought.

"Christ, do ya fuckin' realize how worried ya made us!? I called the Rouges, thinkin' the worst!" he daddy continued to yell at him.

"George!" Meloni snapped. "Stop yelling at him!"

"All we've been doin' has been yellin' at 'em fer the past couple of hours, Mel!" Digger said. "So why stop now?!"

The corners of Owen's eyes began to fill with tears. He muttered, "But daddy-"

"What?!" he snapped, sounding much harsher than he intended.

Owen's lip started to quiver, and he was on the very brink of tears. A single tear roll free from his boy's eye, and Digger felt all his rage slip away from his body. He knelt down in front of them and laid his hands on his son's shoulders.

“Oi, oi, c’mon now, don’t start that.” Digger hushed him, planting a light kiss on his forehead. “I’m sorry fer yellin', Owen."

"That's right, Owen. Daddy and I were just so scared they we'd lost you." Meloni told him. "Promise me you’ll never make us worry like that again, baby?” Owen nodded and let his mommy dab a napkin at his tears.

“I promise.”

Digger gave a little smile and ruffled his son's messy hair. "With that problem solved, I think it’s time fer someone ta go ta bed.” Owen frowned, but he knew there was no arguing with his mommy and daddy tonight. He wrapped his small arms around his mommy’s neck and nuzzled his head against her neck.

“We love you, Owen.” his mommy told him.

“Love ya, too." he murmured.

Chapter Text

“Ugh. I’m hideous.”

Roscoe glanced up from his book, frowning as he looked at Lisa. She was looking herself over before a mirror, dragging her hands through her hair and down her pregnant belly.

“Oh?” Roscoe smiled, amused, “I don't happen to think so, Lisa.”

“Of course you'd say that," she grumbled. "It's not your body that's been disfigured."

"How's it been disfigured, darling?" he asked her.

"These twins inside me… I just wish my hips would look nicer with this belly.” Lisa turned to the side, running both hands over her midsection.

“You have lovely hips,” Roscoe put his book down, looking at the bump his beloved sported. Lisa looked amazing as ever, and she had been positively glowing ever since they'd found out she was pregnant. "You've always had lovely hips." he patted his lap and motioned for Lisa to make her way over to him. She rolled her eyes at him, but she indulged him nonetheless.

Roscoe pressed his face to the bump, smiling. “You are absolutely ravishing, my dear.” He felt a surge of lust and pride fill him. This was something that they had made together. He loved it so much.

Lisa snorted, tilting her hips as Roscoe nuzzled the swell. “Ravishing, you say?”

He rubbed at her thighs, long, lewd pets, finally sinking his finger tips in his hips. “Mhmm.”

“Are you getting off on this?” She teased him, lightly.

“Maybe,” Roscoe mumbled.

"Perv," She chuckled and shook her head. She lightly smacked the top of his head, then leaned in to press their lips together. One of her hands slowly moved to comb through his hair and his own settled on her waist, thumbs idly stroking.

“How did I get so lucky to end up with such a beautiful, sharp, funny-" He paused and watch her brow raise up.

"Go on," she smiled. She leaned against him, melting when his hands crept up under the hem of her dress to stroke the swell of her belly. His hands moved over her, watching how she shivered and moaned softly when one of them slid down to move between her legs.

Lisa drew in a sharp breath then glare at him. “Roscoe, I swear if you don’t start moving us to the bedroom, so help me, I will hurt you.”

"Yes, dear." He slid his palm across her distended stomach and smiled.

Chapter Text

Mark’s back hit the desk, and he cried out as Leonard slipped back into him. Hands grabbed onto his hips, lifting him, pulling him into each thrust, and made him whimper. “More-”

“Aww, Marky-Mark, he can’t satisfy you like this, can he?” Axel purred, leaning down, next to his ear, and Mark reached up to grip his shoulder, sharp eyes glaring at him. “You need someone with a little more energy? Yeah?” He received a rough hit on the arm from Lenny for that one.

Mark’s eyes rolled back, his mouth hanging open as Axel took over and filled him. "Never got to screw around with a "wizard" before." his voice taking on a different quality, and Mark growled, arching hard. “It will be a treat to make you sing~”

Axel hummed, very low, leaning over him more. Mark grabbed a fistful of blond hair and pulled him down, smashing their lips together, his gasps and moans setting the timing for Axel's little tune.

Cold watched from the chair, stroking himself as he watched, his focus on Axel’s face. The younger Rouge glanced at him, and Len straightened up, as if he’d been caught.

“Ever hear the one about the man who fucked the wind, Mark?” Axel asked, pulling back, and earning another glare from him. He pushed him farther over the desk, until his head hung off the edge of the desk, towards Lenny. "I'd really love to tell you, but that story just blows."”

Mark's breathing hitched. “Sh- Shut up...! Y- You little shhhiiittt...!” he moaned, disrupted with each thrust from Axel. He licked his lips, then cried out again, eyes closing. He heard Lenny shift, heard the chair creak, and then there was the head of a dick, nudging against his lips. He opened, willingly, and Len slid in with a single thrust. It opened his mouth wide, almost too wide.

Mark moaned, and Len smirked and stroked his throat, feeling the bulge of it.

“Ahh, now that's just beautiful,” Axel whispered. Lenny leaned over toward him, pulling the other Rouge into a kiss, rough, demanding, just like his leadership.

“He is,” Cold purred. “Now touch him.”

One of Axel’s hands circled Mark's dick, jerking it as he thrust, and Mark groaned, tongue working against Len.

They didn't bother with trying to keep an even pace, pulling out and plunging in whenever they pleased, leaving Mark tense, receiving so much stimulation at one time. Axel leaned down, swiping his tongue across his perky nipples. Mark clenched his hands into fists and groaned.

When Mark finally came, he came hard, overstimulated, and the way he clenched around Axel made him choke down a gasp as he went over, too. Len pulled back, looking down at Mark before moving around the desk.

“Now,” he said, resting a hand on Axel’s back. The young Rouge pulled back, moved aside, watching as Cold took back his place. Len pressed in easily, the way slick with fluids from the other two men. “Mark, look at me.”

With some difficulty, Mark lifted his head, looking down his body at Cold. “Le- Lenny…” His head fell back at the first thrust, back beautifully arching as Len reclaimed him.

Chapter Text

Sam gave a light tug on his pet's lead, smirking as he watched him work his way between his legs. He sighed, thinking about how well his mouthy, little Aussie knew how to use his mouth. Another tug on the lead, and George went down a bit lower, taking nearly all of Sam's dick and making him tremble hard from where he was sitting.

"What a good boy," He praised, trying his best to stroke over George's head while he worked but found it more and more difficult with the way he swirled his tongue. “G- Good boy. You're doing such a good job.” Letting his head fall back, Sam savored the pleasurable feeling. No doubt George could feel him pulsing in his mouth and the more it pulsed when he went further down. Then just as he was starting to get close to coming, George slowed his sucking and rubbing to keep him at bay.

Sitting up until he had nothing but Sam's head in his mouth, he gave it a cocky nip before pulling back and pressing his tongue to the little slit on the head. George smirked, like the bastard he was, no doubt enjoying Sam's reactions to his teasing, but another tug on his collar put him back into place. Also, the look Sam was giving him was more than enough to encourage him to continue.

Kissing down the shaft, George nosed it, then wrapped his hand around it. Squeezing it with his rough, calloused fingers, he started to work up a quick pace until he felt Sam shaking in place.

Below, between his own legs, his little chubby cock was out and dribbling out small drops onto the floor.

"That’s enough, boy. C'mon, sit up." Sam puffed, his eyes reflectively glossy as he watched his pet lean back and sit patiently, waiting for his orders. "Come here and sit on my lap like a good boy." He gave him two tugs on the lead, and George stood, climbing into his master's lap, hips grinding hard against his body.

Sam's lips curled back, and he turned his head to the side slightly. “There’s a good boy. Now for your treat...” He landed a hard kiss onto his pet, slipping his hand down and grabbing his chubby cock, starting to vigorously stroke it until George was a trembling drooling mess. ...Well more so than usual.

"A- Ah- Ahh!" Holding onto Sam’s forearms, George tried to hold on, arching forwards and pressing his forehead onto his master's chest. He got out a rather loud groan before Sam's hand was moving again. Leaving the pulsing shaft for a much softer spot, Sam slipped a finger through and in. "Ahhhhhhh!"

"Want me to fuck you? Huh? Do you, boy? Do you want me to fuck you 'till you're seeing stars? Want me to fill you up until it’s all coming out? I mean, you have been a very, very good pet tonight." Sam teased him, tickling his fingers at George's ring a few moments until he felt it clench and ripple. "Good boy, George..."

Chapter Text

Hartley hissed in pain. “How do you always know exactly where it’s going to hurt the worst?”

“You get a feel for it," James shrugged. "That and I've been smashed through a window by Batman, and now I consider myself an expert in broken, aching body parts. Now relax, or this isn’t going to do you any good, Hart.”

The Pied Piper settled back into his bed. He was lying face down with his shirt off, his ginger hair formed a dark halo over stack of pillows. He sighed softly with pleasure when rubbed along his spine, and under his shoulder blade, and up the column of his neck.

“Too hard,” he muttered, a little muffled by hair and pillow, on a particularly tight knot at the top of his shoulder.

“Hey, Ratty, you gotta let me go a little harder or it won’t help at all.”

“Don't call me 'Ratty'..." Hartley sighed. "Besides, you can go as hard as you want later.”

“Oooohh, baby, I like where this is going.” Lighter pressure, small circles. And, softer for his boyfriend. “Keep talking,"

“Just keep working your hands on me,” he hummed with contentment.

James let his elbow work the pressure points on Hartley’s lower back and ass, not digging in, just finding the right spots. He worked his way up to the middle of his back, then he used two hands, one on top of the other. It was not to add pressure, but to help guide and focus his movements. He got to find all the knots and bunches that held the pressure of the outside world, and his magic hands worked them away.

Hartley tried to lift his head up, but James gently told him to relax and enjoy the peace. He heard him trying to make words, but they were coming out all sleepy and tired. Piper did make out a few words- things like thanks and magic and needed that so much, and he knew what he was trying to say. James gave good pat to his boyfriend’s ass before he laid down next to him, planning to take a little nap along with him.

Chapter Text

“Daaaaaaaddy!!!" Axel whined as loud as his five year old lungs could allow. He roughly tugged at his father's pant leg. "We gots a problem!”

James Jesse dropped the blow torch and teddy bear in his hands and turned around with the speed of the Flash. “Axel! What exploded?”

"Nothin' yet, daddy." Axel told him. "We gots a problem with Uncle Lenny."

"Oh thank goodness," James breathed a sigh of relief. He set down at his work bench and chuckled, "I thought it was something to worry about for a second."

Axel pouted, “Daddy! Uncle Lenny said he don't like Halloween!"

“Yeah? Well, Lenny's never been much for going out, dressing up and having a fun time." James laughed for a moment.

"But that's your job."

"Uncle Lenny doesn't have fun, though, kiddo. Except if we're staging something near a hockey ring." he shook his head. "Yeah, but Halloween? No, he doesn't care for it.”

“Can I teach him to like it, daddy?”

James shrugged his shoulders. “Sure! You just gotta sell him on it.”

“Like how?”

"Well why don't you tell him your favorite parts of Halloween." James told him while cutting the teddy bear's limbs off. "You and I love trick-or-treating. You can tell him how we go in our costumes from house to house, asking for treats, with, 'Trick or treat?'"

Axel's bright blue eyes lit up. "Oh yeah!"

"And then you can tell him how we perform mischief on the homeowners or their property if no treat is given."

"Yeah! Hey, can we use explodin' eggs like we did last year, daddy?"

James leaned back and ruffled his son's already messy hair. "Sure, kiddo! I don't see why not."

Chapter Text

“Let’s talk dirty to each other.”

“Axel… we’re on the job. Remember? Professional. Behavior. Please.”

The young Trickster's professional behavior lasts for all of a minute before he opens his mouth once more. "So… what are you doing later on tonight?”

On the other side of the bank, Captain Cold slowly cold gun, looking at the pair suspiciously. Piper felt the strong need to whack Axel over the head with that plant over there in the corner.

“Feeding and tending to my rats, no doubt.” he muttered, trying to ignore his boyfriend's antics.

“Sounds… eh, kinda fun. So, think those plans could change, babe?”

“Change? As long as you don't trip an alarm and get the Flash on our heels, then I don't see anything changing.”

“No, change as in maybe you find something else to do?” Axel said. "Like, you think to yourself that you want to go skee-balling at the arcade."

"At two in the morning?"

"Why not? Jesse and I have gone at four."

Hartley sighed, then became abruptly aware that every Rouge in the room was now staring at them intently. Well, Mark and Mick are staring at Axel, and Lenny's looking at him with the look that screams 'Shut. Him. Up. Now.'

"What about dancing?”

The sudden snicker that filled the room was Mark struggling to keep a straight face on the job. Lenny shot him a glare before turning another glare at the pair again. Hartley shook his head, then faced Axel, who had an expectant look.

“Dancing,”

“Yeah, dancing.” Axel nodded, eagerly. "I know this great club down on the west side of town, past Grave Green Street and to the-"

“Axel. I enjoy the music, but dancing is not really a pastime I find myself enjoying.”

The Trickster's face fell at that, and he then proceeded to groan loudly. Lenny shot him a cold glare once more. “Haaaaartleeeey. C'mon! What if I take you out to dinner first? Make it real classy, yeah?"

"Boys," Cold grabbed them both by the shoulders and yanked them close. "I don't care what the hell you do in your free time," he told them, flat out. "But don't let it interfere with the job!"

BEEP!

BEEP!!

BEEP!!!

"Hey, Lenny." Mick frowned. "I think you found the one sensor we forgot to deactivate."

"Y'know, Axel," Hartley said. "I think skee-ball at the arcade sounds pretty great right about now."

"Ditto," Mark agreed.

Chapter Text

Naturally, it was a Monday morning in December when Digger felt like puking all of his guts up.

The flu had gotten a hold of him this season. Now he was paying the price for not going with Sam and getting that damnable flu shot. He would have gotten it, but those doctors or nurses always make sure the needle feels like a shiv going in.

Now, he would take twenty of those shivs right to the groin if it meant he was allowed to breathe normally again. His head pounded on like an obnoxious construction site, and his wavy hair was messier than normal.

"Fuckin' cold weather," he breathed. God, he was exhausted. The only thing he actually managed to do today was turn on his side in bed. Then he groaned when there was a knock on his door. "Go 'way..." he moaned.

"Georgie? You still sleeping?" Digger shot Sam the dirtiest look he could and desperately tried to keep from hacking a lung up.

"Jus' didn't sleep well..." he muttered, softly. "Leave me be."

"Digger, you look awful." Sam said, walking over to his partner.

"M'fine," he growled. Then to prove his point, he tried to get out of his bed. He slipped out from under the sheets like butter, then fell face first on the ground.

"George, you're barely able to stand," Sam kneeled down next to him and pulled him up into his arm. He looked down and saw his partner's knees wobble dangerously. Digger practically threw himself at him for balance. Sam could hear the exhaustion and sickness in his voice.

"No shit," he groaned. He refused to meet his concerned gaze, and his legs continued to shake viciously. "Jus' sick is all."

"You should have told me, baby." Sam told him, then got up and gently coaxed him back down into bed. Sam tucked him in and kissed him on the cheek. "Forget today's heist, Georgie. You need all the rest you can get-"

"What about the money...?" he whined. "We need cash."

"We have money, you big doof." Sam gently chided him. "You're just a greedy son of bitch."

George made a sound like he could have been agreeing with him, or he could have been insulted by him. Regardless, he simply snuggled further underneath his covers and coughed a little.

Sam leaned in and kissed his partner on the forehead. He smiled. "Want some soup before I go rob the bank?"

"Yeah,"

"Okay," Sam hummed. "I'll be back with some chicken soup before you can say 'Flash'".

"Fuck that guy, Sammy, jus' get me my soup." George snapped from beneath his blankets.

"Alright, baby."

Chapter Text

It was late- oh so late- at night when Zoey beat him twenty times with her pillow to wake him up. James set up, his body curling in on itself as he did so, and yawned. He scratched his head, then winced when he finally realized why his wife woke him up. It was thanks to the crying coming from the adjacent crib that his sleep schedule was disturbed.

"Zoey? Zoey...?" He looked over to Zoey who had gone back to sleeping soundly and sighed. It was his turn, he guessed. Besides, it was best not to argue with her lest he awaken her inner 'mama bear'. He guessed he would take care of little Axel on his own, tonight.

He practically fell out of bed, dragging the sheets along down with him. Surprisingly enough, Zoey was not disturbed by his typical antics. He threw the blankets back on her and walked over towards the colorful crib. Despite his weariness, James smiled down towards his fussing baby in the crib, a tuft of hair on his head as golden as the morning sun.

“Hey, Axel,” James crooned, picking up the baby and exiting the room. "Hey, hey, little Trix. It’s okay. Daddy is here; it’s okay Axel.” He hushed him in soothing tones as he rocked his son back and forth. Slowly but surely, little Axel calmed down and stared up at his daddy with a somewhat content, albeit sleepy look.

“How about a little snack, then back to bed, little Trix?” James asked, gently rubbing his belly. The little Trickster smiled because his daddy was smiling and let out a giggle at the idea. “Alrighty, baby, food it is.”

James shuffled down the hall towards the kitchen and to the fridge, taking out a bottle from within. He heated it up and tested it before giving it to Axel who happily and greedily accepted. “There we go! All you wanted was some food in your adorable, little belly.” James cooed to him.

Once the bottle was finished, James set it in the sink to clean tomorrow morning and burped his son. Once they were done, James sighed in relief to see his son dozing off. He trudged back into the bedroom and set his little Trix back down in the crib, making sure to give him a goodnight kiss before leaving alone for the rest of the night.

“Sweetest dreams, my boy.”

Chapter Text

"You look awful," Hartley said.

"Thanks. So do you." Axel lied.

"You're the one who had to pick a fight with the Flash at Taco Bell." he pointed out to him. They were in bright blue lamborghini that Axel had recently 'obtained'. The top was down, and they were driving out of Central City.

"Fucker tried to take me in before I could get my two free tacos." Axel grumbled. "I had a coupon and everything."

They stopped at a red light. Axel drummed his fingers against the steering wheel and sighed impatiently. Hartley slid across the seat. His taut tights brushed against Axel's ripped up jeans. He reached with his long, sensitive fingers to touch his swollen, smashed nose.

His eyes were glittery in the neon of the city night. He looked at his messed-up face. He must have spaced, because suddenly his fingers were pressing too hard. Pain shot through Axel's nose.

"Oouch!"

"Sorry," he said. He pulled his finger away. There was blood on his fingertips. "Oh shit, sorry."

Axel wiped his nose with his sleeve. "It's fine," he muttered. "It's still sensitive is all." Green light. He pulled away slowly. Too slowly for the car behind him.

"Hey, buddy! I'd think ya could hurry it up with your car!"

Axel threw his arm out the window and tossed a T-Bomb back towards the other car, as he sped away.

Hartley watched the man scramble out from his car in the rear-view mirror. "Was that necessary?"

"You wouldn't be saying that if you were driving." Axel grinned.

"True,"

Chapter Text

“Daaaaaaaad, stop. You're holding the controller wrong. Just hold it normally, like this.” Owen told him, displaying his hands so his old man could see how he was holding the wireless controller. George sighed and managed to correct his hands, looking expectantly at his son.

“Like this?"

"Yep,"

"Okay... Well, what the hell are we playin'?”

“I think we better start you off with something easy. Sooo, I think it's best if we play Mario Kart.” Owen said, turning on the Wii and putting the small disc in.

“Okay, here we go, Dad. All you have to do is pick a character and a car."

"Oi, I want to be Bowser."

"Okay, I'll just play Luigi."

“Alright, here we go!” Owen said after picking the map. After the countdown, Owen rocketed out of the starting area. George, however, immediately rammed his character into a wall and couldn’t seem to figure out how to get away from it.

"Fuckin' hell-" he cursed, loudly. "How the fuck does Jesse play these fuckin' things every day?" Eventually, he managed to turn his kart around. "Huh, why am I ahead of you?"

“Umm, Dad… I think you’re going backwards.” George quickly realized he was right, and grumbling, managed to turn around and finally go the right way.

Owen easily beat his dad, though George had surprised him by actually managing to hit him with a power-up once.

“Want a rematch, dad?” Owen asked him, lightly. George's long face was glued into a resentful pout.

“Oh, bring it on,” He smirked.

Owen smiled, "Not gonna quit until you win, yeah?"

"'Course,"

"Okay," Owen said, picking a new map and starting another race.

George actually played much better the second time around... He came in 10th. Much better than last place, in his opinion. Also, he managed to hit Owen with a few blue shells and banana peels. At the end of the race, George was pouting and Owen was laughing.

"Let's play again!”

“Alright, dad.” Owen laughed, starting another race.

Chapter Text

"Oh, fuck me."

“Mmmhm, fuck yourself, Digger. I’m trying to sleep over here.” Sam rolled over and elbowed him in the side.

“No, ya bastard- dammit, quit that, Jesse. Stop trying to fuck me, ya fucker”

Mick harshly tossed a pillow at them. “I’ll fuck both of you if you don’t shut the fuck up,” he rumbled.

“Ouch! Hey, you got a brick in your pillow or something? Jeeze..."

Several other heads slowly and groggily started to lift up, eyeing Digger and Jesse with various levels of annoyance.

"Oi, oi, does anyone else feel that?”

Mark threw another pillow over his way. "Shut up, you crazy Australian!"

"You're insane," Lenny sighed, resting back on their little makeshift bed. "Just accept it and go back to sleep."

“Seriously?"

"I'll bite," Roy yawned. "What's wrong?" Suddenly, he yelped and sat up. "Okay, I get it now. Yeah, someone's getting really handsy, guys."

“For fuck's sake... Hartley?"

"I'm on the floor." he told them. "One of you jerks pushed me off."

"Roscoe-"

"Is with Lisa." Mick said.

"It's the twins, ain't it?" Digger asked.

"Albert, Alvin?" Lenny glared at the two of them. “You two jacking off together over there?”

“Not me,” Albert sighed, raising his hands, eyes wide and innocent. “It's Alvin.”

“What? No it’s not!”

“Okay stop it.” Lenny growled and waited for the rest of his Rogues to stop bickering among themselves.

"Okay, everyone stop wiggling so prettily," said Jesse in a ridiculously dark, low voice.

"Jesse shut the-" Mark's answer was cut off as Alvin closed his mouth with a kiss, nibbling and nuzzling.

"Whoa- Whoa- Hey!" Digger's loud booming voice washed over the lot of them. "Cut that out! This ain't a private queer party!"

"Ah, Digger, sweetie," Sam rest his head on his best friend's shoulder. "It's a little late for your little homophobic act."

"Mmmph... Mmm..." Mick started to moan as Lenny captured his lips.

"Hey if anyone wants to shower some attention on someone, my shoulder could use some attention," Hartley said, amused. He crawled up from the floor and started to crawl over the other Rogues.

Hartley threw himself atop Jesse and Mark. Sam pressed himself against Digger, grinding against his hips. Albert groaned when Roy crawled over to him and started running his hands all over his body. All guards were down; guards and sensations intermingled and heightened each other. Fingers found sensitive joints and sore limbs from previous Flash fights. Every man found himself exchanging long kisses and bites with his fellow Rogue.

"Well, I didn't start this-" Lenny huffed, peppering Mick's face with kisses. "-but I'll finish it, boys." he growled out, wrapping his arms around Roy's waist. "You can bet on that~"

Chapter Text

Mark's cries are nowhere near silent through the paper-thin walls that separate their rooms, loud yet soft, but Roy can still hear every time his breath hitches and every moan of despair. If he were honest with himself, he should be sleeping right now. But he can't bring himself to rest when his sometimes nothing, sometimes lover is pouring his heart out onto his pillow.

He is honest when he admits that his own heart aches in understanding over losing a loved one. It doesn't particularly ache for Clyde since he never knew the man, but it still aches for Mark's loss. That and Roy knows that he can't possibly fill the void in Mark's life that Clyde's death leaves raw and open.

As the crying persists, Roy tries to imagine the color blue in his mind. It's always impossible for him to do, but he tries nonetheless. It makes the pain in his own heart hurt less as he attempts to place a color to match the mood.

An hour passes before the cries stop and instead are replaced with heavy footsteps. Roy's ears twitch when he hears them near his door. Roy quickly sits up when the footsteps leave and throws his sheets of Andy Warhol off to the side. He gets up and exits his room, hearing Mark loudly rummage around in the kitchen, complaining about the unknown whereabouts of his 'damn can of fucking soup'.

Quietly, he steps into the doorway and watches Mark pull up a chair and turn it towards the kitchen windows. He draws his legs up and wraps an arm around them while his right hand holds a cup of microwaved soup. Roy sighs. He looks... looks so fragile. He doesn't look like the raging Weather Wizard he normally is. He looks like he is having a hurricane swing dancing around in his head, and he doesn't have plans on controlling it.

“I wake you up or what?" he asks softly.

Roy blinks in surprise. He thought Mark hadn't noticed him just yet. Oh well. “I heard you in here,” he says, stepping out of the doorway.

“Sorry to keep you awake, then.” he mutters in his cup.

Roy sighs and walks over to him. He wishes Mark chose to sit in the living room with his soup, then he could simply sit next to him and hold him in his arms to comfort him. Instead, he gently lays his hand on his lover's back and rubs it up and down. He wants to bend down and kiss him and promise everything will be okay, but he knows it is far too late to promise anything like that. “It will get better.” he whispers to him. “Personally, as long as you remember him, the way he was, his laugh, the stories you two used to tell each other, then he will always be with you, Mark.”

Mark looks up at him with an uncertain look, as if he's looking for hidden judgment in his grey eyes- but he finds none. "I never had to do this much crazy shit without him before." he says so quietly that Roy barely even hears him.

"You haven't truly done anything alone, though." Roy mentions and tries to encircle his lover in his arms. Mark smiles and wipes his eyes.

"Yeah... I tend to forget about our team efforts. Thanks, Roy,” he says softly. "Thanks."

Chapter Text

"Hartley! We have a major problem!" Axel shouted at him. "I went online and checked on our fanfiction-"

Hartley stopped working on his gloves and blinked. Our what? Their what?! "What!?"

"Yeah! There needs to be more giggly sex in our fanfiction!" Axel told him, then went on to say, "And I also checked on the other Rogues while I was there-"

"What!?"

"Dude, we need Lenny snorting with laughter when Mick says a cheesy one liner while fucking him!"

"What!?"

"We need Roy to burst into hysterics when he accidentally comes too early all over Mark’s shocked face! We need Lisa to let herself laugh and enjoy herself when Roscoe does silly “sexy” poses for her! We need Sammy to suppress his giggling when in the middle of eating George out and discovers his sides are ticklish! And we need someone to write me wheezing and gasping when in the afterglow of a fucking good fuck while you pull and make silly faces to lighten up the situation! Don't you understand!?"

"NO! NO I DON'T! JUST WHY!? WHY!?" Hartley screamed at him. "JUST WHY!? WHY ME?! WHY ANY OF US!?"

Axel gave him a look that told him he was dumb for even asking the question. "Because giggly sex just shows how at ease a couple are with each other and I love it."

Hartley drew in a sharp breath and growled out, "That doesn't answer any of my questions..."

Axel shrugged, "Yeah, well neither will the end of this fanfic."

"What-"

Chapter Text

“Mr. Walker. It’s been quite a while, hasn’t it?”

Axel's eyebrows shot upward, but he didn’t look up. Instead, his mind was racing and thinking, how long had he been there?

He slapped on a quick smile, then turned on his heel and threw his arms out. “Ethan! Baby-bird! My little chickie-poo! How'ya doing?" Rolling his head up, Axel found himself locked eye to eye with the hellfire of Ethan Cobblepot's gaze. He gulped.

"Ahh, ah, so yeah." Axel said, awkwardly shifting from foot to foot. "So sorry for not texting ya, babe, in like a month. I've been busy, s'all. Nothing personal."

Laying Axel's blueprints down on his desk, Ethan set them aside and pulled out his phone. “Not even an attempt," he told him. "Not even your favored eggplant emoji." Then he rolled his eyes as Axel chuckled at him. Why had he entered a relationship with a guy who had the maturity of a four-year-old again? ...Oh yes, the sex was explosive and far too nice for either of them to call it off. That and, though he'd never admit it, Ethan did have a little soft spot for his trigger-happy Trickster.

“Well, I've been busy,” Axel gave the most dramatic sigh he could manage. He hadn't meant for his criminal career to interfere with his relationship. “Gotta plan the perfect plan to blow the Flash sky high, ya know? That and the Rogues needed my help on some heists.”

Ethan shook his head. "Axel, Axel, Axel," he sighed. "I don't want your excuses." He snapped his fingers and metal bars covered the windows and a metal barrier covered the door.

"Duudde!? You tricked out my apartment against me!? Not cool!" Axel whined, loudly.

"We had an agreement, Mr. Walker. No there's no more chances. No negotiations. I will have you right here, right now.” Ethan rested his head down on his hands and smiled. "You won't be leaving until you've completed your deal with your devil."

Axel sighed, then threw his sack of tricky-toys down on the floor. “Is that all?” he asked. “I thought we agreed that if I didn't contact you for a month, then you'd show up at my place in lingerie.”

“What do you think I'm wearing under my trench coat?” The young crime lord then stood up and threw his coat off.

"Oooohh, baby." Axel grinned. "Remind me not to send you a Christmas card, either."

"Don't make me shoot you," Ethan grumbled.

"Oooh, gun kink," he giggled, loudly. "I like, I like."

"Get over here before I get bored with you."

"Yessir!"

Chapter Text

“Are you fuckin' kidding me?!” Cold shouted, throwing his hands up in the air.

“It wasn’t my fault,” Both Trickster Jr. and Captain Boomerang Jr. chorused. They looked at each other in surprise and then back at Captain Cold.

“It's his fault!!” they said in near unison, pointing at the other.

“You little shits, it's always you two causing problems,” Weather Wizard snapped, storming out from under some debris nearby. "But, Cold, if you gotta blame someone, then blame trigger-happy Trixie over there."

“Who, me?” Axel asked, rearing back in surprise, expression dramatically offended. "That's so uncool, Marky-Mark!!"

“Aye, Axel's right.” Mirror Master said, stepping out from the nearest reflection. He reached out a hand to steady Heat Wave as he swayed in place, still trying to recover from the explosion. "Little shite threw a T-bomb, alright, but dunnot forget who threw the exploding boomerang near the ceiling, lads."

“You. And you. Both of you,” Cold snarled, gaze flicking from one young Rogues to the other. “You're both grounded when we get back!”

Suddenly, the entire group of Rogues were startled when they blinked and found themselves tied up together. Cold blinked again, then raised his head to see a smiling red hero with his hands on his hips.

"Well," Flash chuckled. "That was easy."

Cold just glared him down. “Really?” he barked. “You do this to me when I'm lecturing these idiot boys?! The least you could do is let me finish!"

"Yeah," Owen and Axel said.

“Shuddap, you two! It's your faults, distracting us like that."

"Blowing up half the building," Mark added to the list.

"Throwing bombs at the same time, like it's one of their damn video games." Mick said.

"Eatin' the last of the chocolate ice cream in the freezer." Evan sighed, shaking his head.

"Hey! That last one was Axel!" Owen snapped back.

"Yeah," Axel smiled, widely. "I did that. And I don't regret it, you bastards."

Mark eyebrows shot up. "What!? That was mine! You sick son of a bit-"

“Oh,” Flash said, making the Rogues look at him. "Dang, I didn't know I ran into the middle of something here."

“You don't know the half of it, Scarlet.” Cold shook his head.

"You're still going to jail, though."

"Fuck!" Axel pouted.

"Language, you little shit!"

"Oh yeah," Flash sighed. "That's teaching him, Snart."

Chapter Text

"Jenna!" Axel crowed, "Come on over! Haven't seen you in forever, girl!"

Upon hearing Axel raise his voice, half of the Rogue's turned their attention to the person he was yelling at from the other side of the bar. The girl that their eyes landed on suddenly acted like a rabbit caught in a wolf's den. Blond hair pulled back into a messy ponytail, slim waist and wide hips, and wearing a worker's pair of overalls. In a bar full of spandex clad, protective suit, gas mask wearing Rogues, she stuck out like a sore thumb.

She smiled awkwardly and let the young Trickster rush over and escort her to the pool tables.

"Heard you took business up to Gotham," Axel said the second they arrived at a dark table. It was covered in green baize, and a triangular rack of balls rattles in the middle of it. Axel grabbed two cue sticks and a box of chalk.

"Yeah," Jenna sighed. "Joined up with the Wonderland Gang, too."

"The Carpenter, right?" Captain Boomerang Jr. joined in from the side, grabbing himself a cue stick.

"Was it the hammer on my belt?" she rubbed the back of her neck.

"No, it was your van's license plate. CAR-PNTR, really?" he asked. "I'm surprised you didn't bring the Bat down on us already."

"Shhh, don't mention Batsy-Boy near Sam or Digger!" Axel told him. "They get this look in their eyes, like they've seen some shit."

"Oh please, Axel-"

He cut him off. "Nah, I'm serious, it's like WWII flashbacks in their eyes whenever they hear-"

"So what brings you to S&S's?" Owen asked her while the other two bickered.

"Well, I got tired of being a pickpocket and con artist operating in Gotham. Turns out there's too many crazy people up there, go figure..." she sighed. "So I thought why not try being pickpocket and con artist operating out of Keystone again? Or at least until some of the shit happenin' up in Gotham cools down."

"Cops or the Bat?"

"A little of column A, a little of column B." Jenna shrugged as she tested the cue stick in her hands. "Where's the rest of Keystone's and Central's finest Rogues, by the way?"

"Shawna on a date with ol' Mark-y Mark tonight, Bivolo's held up in his apartment trying to work through some creative process of whatever, My dad- Digger-, Mickey, and Lisa are in the back, James is over there testing out his new invention on some poor sucker, don't know where the rest are really..." Owen told her. "Oh! And Captain Cold's got a cold."

"Heh, really? You're kiddin'?" she snickered, lightly.

"The Rogues never kid when Lenny gets sick," Owen smiled. "We get to hold it over his head until he gets better."

"Man," she sighed, "This is the kind of nonsense I missed up in Gotham."

"Freeze's puns don't cut it?" Axel asked, jumping back into the conversation.

"Didn't meet him, but I doubt his pun level is up to Central's Rogues' level, Ax."

"Well, I don't blame them." Hartley said.

"Yeah! We expect pun mastery down here!"

"As long as it's not rhyming scarecrows, two themed villains, killer crocodile men, enhanced macho wrestlers, or-"

"Clowns?"

"Fuck the clowns!" she snapped back.

"Yeah, thata girl," Axel cheered her on. "Fuck the clowns! And fuck the police, too!"

"Ax, you're gonna start another 'fuck the police' chant in the bar." Owen warned him.

"Don't care- Fuck the police! FUCK THE POLICE!!" he jumped up on the pool table and all the other Rogues joined in. "FUCK DA POLICE!!!"

Jenna stood back a little and just shook her head.

"Can't say you missed this?" Hartley asked her over the growing noise.

"Nah, this is normal compared to Gotham's nonsense." she smiled.

Chapter Text

“Now!” James shouted, excitedly.

Suddenly, Lenny and Mick found themselves looking up at an army of flying, round, cold projectiles, unerring as they soared across the distance, hitting them. Mick ducked, but he still got caught in the chest. Lenny got a few right in the face.

Lenny brushed the snow right off and started yelling, "WHAT ARE YOU IDIOTS-" He was cut off when another snowball got him right on the forehead.

“Direct hit!” Digger yelled, turning around and beginning to rub and pat down the snow between his gloved hands forming the biggest snowball he’d made so far.

"Mick, Lenny," Mark shouted to them. "Join us in our battle against James and Digger!"

"Yeah," Sam laughed, lightly. "It's better than being a casualty on our battlefield!" He had been exchanging snowballs with just as much enthusiasm and energy as George, but instead of using any real aiming skills, he cheated by using the mirrors he had previously placed around their little battlefield in front of the warehouse.

"Or they could join Roscoe and I in building our snow-fort." Lisa said from a good twenty feet away.

"Mick-" Another snowball to the face- James' fault that time since a rubber chicken was rolled up in there. "MICK!" Lenny raised his voice above the crazy people participating in an all out snow war around them. "Get your flamethrower."

“Really?” Mick said in surprise.

The four Rogues shrank a little bit at hearing that. "Uh-oh,"

"Uh-oh is right," Cold snapped at them, reaching into his coat pocket and pulling out his gun. "Mick, you get Mark and Sam, and I'll handle James and Digger."

"Gotcha," he nodded, enthusiastically.

"Sir Mark," James shouted over to him. "To ensure that our great snow kingdoms last until the end of the week, I say we join forces to vanquish the evil Dragon and Ice Wizard! What say you?"

"I say cut it with the theatrics," Digger rolled his eyes at him,

"I say sure, Sir James."

"Then let it snow!" James cackled, crazily.

Chapter Text

“NO AIRBAGS?! WHAT DO YA MEAN NO FUCKIN' AIRBAGS?!" Captain Boomerang screamed, trying to shield his head from the bullets flying at them as the heavy fire poured in on them.

"WHAT!?" Captain Cold yelled. "WALLER, ARE YOU SHITTING ME!?"

"No," The calm reply came to him over the car's bluetooth speaker. "Blame it on the budget."

“NO AIRBAGS,” Cold shook his head, trying to keep calm in the driver's seat.

"NO AIRBAGS, WE DIE LIKE MEN!" Harley shouted over their complaints.

“IF WE DIE, I SWEAR I’LL KILL YA!” Digger snapped at her as he braced against his seat.

“Eh, could be worse,” Deadshot shrugged, firing back at the enemy. "I could die on a day when I didn't have the chance to shower and make my hair all pretty."

“FLOYD, YA'AINT HELPIN', YA CUNT-” Cold cut him off.

“WE’RE COMIN’ IN HOT!”

The last thing any of them remembered was how many swearwords Digger really knew.

"Oh, fuck,” Cold sat up and rubbed the back of his neck after the crash. "I think I broke something."

"I feel like I broke everythin'," Digger said from a few feet outside the broken windshield. "Fuuuuuck."

"Man," Harley giggled, popping up from the backseats. "You guys curse like that around your junior members?"

"Nah, we got a damn swear-jar," Digger cracked his neck.

"Hehehh, seriously?" Deadshot asked, defending them from atop.

“Shut the hell up.” Cold snapped at him. "And Digger?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up for once on this goddamn mission!" He said, taking off and throwing his boot at him, getting a groan of pain out of his team member instead.

Chapter Text

“Axel...! You’re not dead.” Right?

It took far too long for Axel to reply. The young Trickster blinked, took a few shuddering breaths. His fingers twitched, then finally, he croaked out, “God. What happened...?”

“One of your bombs exploded in your workshop,” Owen said, softly. "Didn't lose anything major, but..."

"What...?!" Axel groaned, lifting his head to look at his wounds. Okay, okay, he had burns, he expected that. Some stitches from where some metal hit him, yeah, yeah. "What happened?"

"I don't know how to break this to you..."

"What?"

Owen sighed and reached over to the nightstand, picking up a mirror and turning it towards him.

"What- WHAT THE FUCK NUGGETS!?" Axel shrieked, his hands moving up towards his face. "NO! NO, NO, NO!"

"Axel, it's not that bad."

"No, it's all over, man," Axel turned away from him. "Game over!"

"Axel,"

"NO!"

"Lisa brought over some makeup to help you out until they grow back-"

"ARGH!!" the Trickster weakly kicked at him. "This is the worst!"

“You're still handsome,” Owen tried to comfort his vain boyfriend, stroking his face. "Besides, eyebrows grow back eventually."

"I look like Victor Zsasz's much more appealing blond cousin!"

"That's... That's not the worst thing ever?" Owen said, not sure what to say at this point.

"ARGH!!!"

Chapter Text

"So are you sexually active?"

"I've been reading smut... Like a looooooot of smut... does that count?"

Cassie wanted to slap him with her clipboard so, so badly. Instead, she simply sighed and turned around, asking Captain Cold, "Is he or not?"

"Probably," he shrugged. "Hard to tell with the way he and Piper keep dancing around each other."

"It's not dancing, it's the art of seduction! These things take time, Lenny!" Axel retorted, loudly.

"Pfft, yeah right,"

"Oh, who am I kidding," Axel shook his head. He looked to Cassie, then pointed at Cold. "Lady, you're looking at the man who makes love to his stolen Stanley Cup every night."

"Why you little-" Cold stepped forward to strangle the brat right then and there, but Cassie stepped in between the two.

"You can kill him after I'm done with his physical exam, Mr. Snart."

"Yeah, Lenny!" Axel stuck his tongue (which had been turned green thanks to some candy he was muching on) out at him.

"Two minutes after you're done, Cas," Lenny said, gruffly. "You can go ahead and pronounce him dead on the scene."

"W- WHat?"

"Fine with me," Cassie sighed, writing some notes down on her board. "But that won't be until after I insert the rectal thermometer."

"The w- what, what now?"

"Mr. Walker, please stand up, turned around, and bend over for me so that I can get an accurate reading of your temperature."

"NOPE!"

"Mr. Snart, could you-"

"Freeze his feet to the ground?"

"No- restrain your fellow Rouge."

"Eh, the first option is much more fun, Cas."

"I may be a medical professional that deals with criminals, Mr. Snart, but I won't have you freezing my patients' limbs to the floor."

Axel breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank God-"

"Think of the mess it would make," Cas said. "You'll just have to wait until after we're done here to do that."

"Alright," Cold muttered. His glare shot right up at Axel, and he barked out, "Get over here and take it like a man, Axel!"

"Nooooooo!" he whined, then jumped up to attempt to race past them.

Cold swore. "Dammit! This is worse than when I had to take you to go get your booster shots!"

Chapter Text

Sam yawned hugely and took a sip of his coffee. “Morning, Cap'n,” he mumbled, barely glancing up as Digger entered the Rogue kitchen.

George grunted as he passed the table on the way to the coffee pot, but otherwise did not acknowledge him. Sam sighed into his cup. He’d half-hoped that after the night they’d spent together, which had resulted in a number of bruises in some interesting places on their bodies, and made his heart skip a beat in his chest every time he glanced him over, that Digger might have bothered to behave like they were something more than Rouges. But apparently they were going to play ‘I ain't gonna acknowledge a damn thing’. Go figure.

Sam sighed, deeply. He set aside his empty cup, no point in dawdling when there wasn’t anything for him here, and was pushing up from the table when he belatedly realized that Digger had returned to his table. He blinked at him. “Something you needed?”

George jerked his head stiffly and bent over the table, bringing his face level with Sam’s. And then to Sam’s utter shock, he reached out and cupped the back of his head, bringing his forehead forward to rest against his and this was insane because Digger never- never did public displays when there was the chance that the other Rouges could burst in and find out about their secret relationship, but Sam was frozen, dumbstruck.

“Soooo, nice night last night, yeah?” muttered Digger and by God, he was so close and smelled so good- probably thanks to the hazelnut coffee he had already managed to spill on his white tank-top. “Good fer ya, too?” Out of the corner of his eye, Sam could see Owen staring at them from the doorway, a look of shock plastered across his face, and has Digger lost his mind, wasn’t this supposed to be on the down low or something?

"Digger..." Sam spoke, softly. He motioned over to Owen.

"Son..." George sent him a look, telling him to not bother them right now and forget what he saw all in one expression. Owen raised his hands up in defense and backed away, but he had a smug grin glued on his face the entire time he fled the scene. “Owen don't care none,” Digger told him, then kissed Sam’s face, right on the cheek.

"What about Axel and James?" Sam nuzzled against him, pointing up towards the ceiling where the Tricksters were walking in midair but had stopped when the public display of affection began. Axel had dropped his cereal bowl, both breaking the bowl and spilling Trix cereal everywhere.

"Fuck it," Digger grumbled. Sam laughed at his grumpy face. So much for a secret relationship.

Chapter Text

“You know what, kid? I can’t get off to this. This pathetic excuse for a plot expects me to believe this guy has come over three times in ten minutes and is still goin’? Not possible. I can see the bits where they’ve edited the break out. That’s just not how it works-”

“Lenny, this 's porn.” Evan growled out at him, still continuing to fap. He was into the video, but then Lenny just had to come in- something about his hockey game getting ready to start in five minutes- and pulled out his cigarette and pointed at the screen. Wasn't that bad at first, but then he just had to open his mouth.

“Well it’s some really fuckin' bad porn. It’s ridiculous is what it is. I can practically hear just how sore the bottom already is, if ya look at the lining of the vagina, you can see how–”

“LENNY. Let me believe 'n this fantasy. It ain't supposed to be real.”

“You know what’s good? Waking up to real life and realizing huge guys like Bane don't actually last that long. That man’s huge! He lasts exactly one round, no exceptions, even with his above average stamina. The point is, he’s still friggen’ amazing. Better than that guy on the screen whose dick oughta be bleedin’ at this point.”

“'IGHT, 'IGHT," Evan threw down his hands in defeat. "FUCK! Ya killed mah boner, old man. Happy now?”

"Only if you give me the remote with your hand that isn't covered in precum."

"Bastard," Evan scowled.

Chapter Text

TЯIXiE: Piiiiiiiiper

MenInTights: Axel?

TЯIXiE: PIPE-Y! TOKEN GINGER KIDd OF rTHE GROUOP!

TЯIXiE: MAH BOI!!!! R u aweak?????

MenInTights: I am now. Why are you texting me so late?

TЯIXiE: Duuuuude its not latee

MenInTights: It’s 2am

MenInTights: Wait. Are u drunk?

TЯIXiE: No

MenInTights: Are u lying?

TЯIXiE: ..............Maybeeee

MenInTights: *sigh* Where the hell are you?

TЯIXiE: no fuckinvg idera

MenInTights: gdi, Axel. What do you see

TЯIXiE: Aaaah, statue of the Flasher?

MenInTights: wtf are you doing out in front of the Flash museum?!

TЯIXiE: vandalizing

MenInTights: You need to go back to the base

TЯIXiE: dunno how

MenInTights: You have your shoes that allow you to fly. Remember???

TЯIXiE: i have orange crocs on

TЯIXiE: im so drujk lololololol

MenInTights: GFDI Axel.

MenInTights: I'm gonna come pick you up ok?

TЯIXiE: omg ur the best love u sooooooo much

MenInTights: Sure, sure. You should worship me for taking care of your dumb little twink ass

MenInTights: I'm putting my clothes on. Stay put

TЯIXiE: come nkaed i like u wiiithouy cloths

MenInTights: your so drunk

TЯIXiE: i love u

MenInTights: don’t go anywhere ok?

TЯIXiE: i love u babe

TЯIXiE: r u gona kiss me when u get here

MenInTights: Idiot. Of course

MenInTights: im getting in the car ok? Stand still and wait for me ok?

TЯIXiE: ok

MenInTights: And Axel?

TЯIXiE: yeash?

MenInTights: I love you too

Chapter Text

There was nothing quite like the feeling of failure.

The only thing that managed to feel worse was when one's failure became more than personal. When one's failure became the failure of their team.

When one's failure became that of one's friends and family.

Axel cried out when his prosthetic arm had been ripped off and slammed his face back down into the gravel below. The gravel fucking hurt.

He peeled his face back up from the ground, spitting out blood, and trying to wipe the tears and grime from his eyes. Calling for help was out of the question. He could hardly breathe.

He blinked, fighting dizziness and nausea. His eyes focused on a figure laying nearby, not moving.

"Len... L- Len...!" he coughed out. He couldn't managed it. He couldn't force the words out. He began grasping for breath again, not helped by the fact that the gravel was digging in deeper than before.

"Lenny!" Another voice called out.

"What the fuck happened!?" Was that Evan? Axel couldn't see him, so was he running towards them in the mirror world?

He shifted, trying to relieve the pressure on his mangled arm, but he was stopped short when he felt a spurt of warmth as he began to bleed more profusely.

Then a thousand things began to occur and be said at the same time. Axel could hardly focus on anything that was happening around him.

"Axel!? Axel- Oh, God! E- Evan! Get over here!"

"George! Mick! Help me with Lenny-"

"His leg's not supposed to be bent like that-"

"Fuckin' hell-"

"Axel, hold on!"

Axel looked up at Hartley, who had managed to gather him up in his noodle arms. Mentally, he pleaded with him to help him. Help him and take all the pain and suffering away.

"Axel...!"

"... he's not...!"

"We... hospital...!"

"Now...!"

And he was swept up into the mirror world.

The world spun around him, and everything went black...