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Get a Grip

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“John.  Please, just do something!  I can’t take this.  It’s excruciating.  I need help.”
Sheppard paused in his pacing.  “He told you not to touch it.  I told you not to touch it.  Did you listen?  I ought to just let you suffer.”
“He said arousal.  He said once it was relieved it would be over.  I figured I’d just take care of it and that would be that.  No big deal.”  Rodney looked down at the hard-on threatening to poke its way through his trousers.  “Pretty big deal, actually.”  He sounded smug, and John snorted angrily.
“It's a big deal, all right. You’re chained to the wall and you can’t take care of this on your own, can you?” 
“They didn’t mention a ritual!”  That was aimed at the priest, who waited patiently by the door.
“But now, one of us has to take care of the – the problem for you, McKay.  You’ve put us in an awkward position, here.  I won’t ask Ronon or Teyla to do this for you, and you know the way the military feels about this kind of thing.” 
Ronon shoved himself off the wall where he’d been watching the argument.  “Move.  I’ll take care of it.” 
“Thank god.”
Ronon shouldered Sheppard out of his way and reached for McKay’s fly, pulling back as Sheppard slapped at his hands.
“I can’t ask you to do that, Ronon.” 
Ronon rolled his eyes.  “It’s just a hand job, Sheppard.  McKay was right, your people are so narrow-minded.” 
That smug look was back on Rodney’s face.  “Ronon’s language doesn’t even have a word for homophobia, Colonel.  I had to explain it to him.”
“Along with faggot, queer and what was that other one, McKay?  Butt pirate.”  He shook his head dismissively.  “Won’t be the first time I’ve helped out a guy in need.  I don’t mind.”  Grinning salaciously, Ronon angled his body to keep John from interfering again.  “I might even like it.”
“If I wasn’t so hard I could hammer nails, that smile might possibly worry me.  But all I want to know is could you possibly hurry up?”  Ronon’s grin got bigger as he reached inside Rodney’s pants and pulled out his engorged cock to the tune of Rodney’s gasps of relief. 
He whistled, shaking his head at the swollen length and purpled head, “Damn, McKay, that has got to hurt!” 
John watched, his face pale, as Ronon got right to work. Dipping his hand in the bowl of oil supplied by the priests, Ronon started a slow, steady stroke.  He stopped to run his thumb over the crown, adding an occasional twist of his wrist that had Rodney jerking in his bonds and biting his lip.
Ronon smiled, leaning forward to murmur in his ear, “You can make noise, McKay.  I don’t mind.” 
Rodney let out a loud, guttural moan.  “Thank you.  I didn’t want to be rude or anything.”
Ronon laughed.  “My hand’s on your dick, McKay.”
Rodney was having trouble concentrating, but he attempted to answer Ronon.  “Good poi…oh.”  His body jerked.  “Could you do that again?  Yeah – that’s nice.  Oh yes!”  Rodney's body writhed as Ronon used his left hand to twist around the crown and his right hand to twist around the shaft in different directions.  “That’s fantastic!” he panted, unable to stop talking even under duress.
John shut his mouth abruptly as a shudder shook his frame.  “I’ll just be over – over there.  With Teyla.”  Neither of them noticed his retreat.  Ronon was watching Rodney’s face intently, and Rodney’s eyes were closed as he thrust his cock into Ronon’s hands.
“You’re so good at this.  Oh.  I won't break, you know.  You can squeeze ti-- Oh, yes! Like that! Keep doing that!" 

Rodney took a deep hitching breath, then shuddered when Ronon whispered in his ear. “If I'd known you'd be this much fun, I'd have tried this a long time ago.”  He closed his teeth over the curve of Rodney’s neck and bit.
Rodney exploded – a wordless shout, his body tensed and arched in a bow.  Finally he relaxed, his body slumped bonelessly from the chains. His voice was raw when he spoke.  “That was the most incredible thing I’ve ever felt in my life.  How can I possibly thank you?” 
Ronon leaned close, “When we get home, you can return the favor.”
Rodney swallowed.  "Touch that artifact and I'll do it right now."