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The Life of a Philanderer

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It was after a tea date, where a particularly clumsy Toad had tripped and spilled hot earl grey all over Samus’ lap. The temperature would've caused anyone else to howl like an injured wolf, but Samus scowled and looked down as if it were some minor inconvenience.


“I'm sorry,” Peach squealed, dashing over to Samus. The Toad had ran off, and brought back some towels. After giving them to Peach, he whimpered his apologies and scuttled off. Peach kneeled between Samus’ legs and began to gently dab the wet spots, and Samus’ eyes glazed over with lust. After all, Peach was right there, on her knees with her face inches away from Samus’ crotch.


The tension did not go unacknowledged by Peach, who looked up after drying up the majority of the tea. Her eyes were wide, blue, and Samus found herself having to drag herself out of the haze that they put her in. Peach was yanked to her feet by her hair, and Samus stood as well, shoving Peach against the table and knocking the pretty silverware and cookies and teacups off of it. Samus didn't expect her to resist, but she decided that she wouldn't hesitate if Peach did throw her off.


However, Peach didn't. She hiked her dress up and gave a dainty little sigh, then said, “Isn't this a little unladylike?”


Samus chuckled and yanked her panties down.


By the time Sheik had become Zelda once again, she was sweaty. She was nimble and quick, but all of her movement had required a great amount of exertion nonetheless. Samus never minded a little sweat, and as she licked and sucked Zelda’s slick, sweat-shiny neck, she murmured, “You've been working hard.”


“Not nearly enough exercise for the day. A little more exercise would do me good, if you don't mind,” Zelda said, her eyes half-lidded. Samus noticed, just then, how cute Zelda’s ears were.


“If you want a good fuck, then you should ask me directly,” Samus growled.


A blush formed on Zelda’s face, and when she turned her head away, a braid swung. Samus began to bite at the newly-exposed skin on Zelda’s neck, and discovered that that was Zelda's weak spot. Immediately after Samus sank her teeth into it, Zelda hissed, “Just take me…”


And Samus did.


Chess pieces scattered on the floor as Samus slammed Robin into her chess table. Robin didn't seem to care, although Samus wouldn't put it past her to complain about it later.


Samus managed to maneuver Robin so that she could get her coat and top off, leaving her in a bra and a skirt, along with the pants. Samus took the pants off from underneath Robin’s skirt. “Turn around. I want to see those tits.”


Robin was sitting upright on the table, facing Samus, almost instantly. One of Samus’ hands groped Robin’s thigh while the other skillfully removed her bra; after that, both of her hands were kneading Robin’s breasts, pinching the nipples and rolling them between her fingers.


“You didn't-oh, f-fuck-” Robin interrupted herself as Samus clamped her mouth around one of Robin’s honey-brown, creamy nipples. “You didn't break any of those pieces, did you?”


“Who cares?”


Robin seemed ready to protest, but Samus bit into her nipple and she immediately said, “You're right.”




”Great way to burn calories, ain't it? ...Kinky bitch.”


Samus chuckled cruelly and gave Wendy a slap on the ass (firm and round and pale), and she cried out. The cry was muffled due to the gag that Wendy had insisted upon wearing.


Wendy was flexible due to her profession, and looked quite comfortable while being suspended in the air, hanging from the ceiling of her personal sex dungeon. Samus hadn't expected Wendy to have her own personal BDSM lair in her basement (she had expected a gym, really), but she wasn't inclined to complain.


How could she complain, when Wendy got on her knees and begged for Samus to fuck her? Samus couldn't help but wonder who else Wendy had asked for this kind of thing, but it didn't matter.


Nothing mattered when she had a sexy woman tied up and vulnerable and waiting.


Samus had expected to be bored by mutual masturbation, but Rosalina made it seem like the best, sexiest thing ever. They didn't say a word to each other; only their moans and the soft sounds of their fingers on their cunts filled the room.


Rosalina’s eyes (or, at least, the one that Samus could see) were fixed on Samus’ face, while Samus chose to let her eyes roam. Rosalina was curvier than Samus had initially noticed.


Although it was a sexy scenario, Samus still had to give herself a little more than usual to get herself off, and she was fingering herself furiously. Rosalina instead chose to rub slow, feather-light circles around her clit. It seemed so Rosalina-like, to do something so gentle and soft and-


“This is so dull,” Rosalina said suddenly.


“Can you ride my face into oblivion instead?”


“That sounds swell, Samus.”


Well, maybe not that gentle.


Palutena came on to Samus first, and Samus had expected a bit of a power struggle with her, but she was surprisingly submissive (although she never lost her snark). Samus had her wrists pinned to the wall of the training room with one hand. Palutena was looking up at her curiously, and seemed slightly disinterested. Samus hissed, “What do you expect me to do here? We're in public. Let's get out of here.”


Palutena cocked her head. “It’s quite simple. Use your free hand to get me off. I'll do you when we get back to your apartment, or my palace, or...wherever. Now, come on, before somebody strolls along.”


Samus awkwardly got Palutena's panties down with one hand, and Palutena spread her legs passively, leaning her head back against the wall and closing her eyes. Palutena truly was a luxurious creature, and she expected to be able to lay back and be pleased without lifting a finger. “You're a lazy goddess,” Samus scowled, but even during all of her complaining, Samus slipped two fingers into Palutena's wet, heavenly pussy, and relished the sigh that came as a result of such pleasures.


Lucina was an awful drinker. Samus took her back to her apartment, got a couple of beers in her, and then she was coming undone, climbing into Samus’ lap and acting all coy. “I want you,” she said, blunt, with her breath smelling of liquor.


“I know,” Samus smirked. For once, she wasn't eager to finish up quickly, instead wanting to see what Lucina would do next.


“Was this your plan, then…? Getting me drunk so you can do what you want with me?” Lucina whispered, and although her voice sounded dark, ominous, her face was anything but. She had a silly, horny, happy expression on her face, but still managed to not look like a drunk, embarrassing mess.


Samus began to rub the small of Lucina’s back, inspecting the Brand of the Exalt in her eye. Lucina slumped forward, and for a second, Samus was afraid that she'd passed out, but it turned out that she was just trying to get to Samus’ neck, sucking gently, like a baby. Samus hummed in thought about Lucina’s previous statement, then grabbed Lucina’s cobalt hair and pulled her back. She was a bit gentler than she usually was; for some reason, being rough with Lucina wasn't an option, wasn't plausible.


Samus shrugged and replied, “You would do anything I wanted you to do sober,” and Lucina laughed until she choked.


Samus never knew how to feel about inexperienced lovers, but she let Corrin fall into her bed anyway, despite knowing how innocent and naïve she was. It wasn't a mistake, per se, but…


“I-I'm sorry. I've been trying to train myself to last longer when I do it by myself, but you-that spot you rubbed,” Corrin babbled, her arrogant front crumbling instantly. Samus almost forgot how childish Corrin could be.


“That's fine. Doesn't matter how long you lasted,” Samus said, swiping traces of Corrin’s quim off of her cheek with the back of her hand. “Although, if you're really'd make it up to me by getting me off.”


Corrin grinned. “Sounds easy enough.”


Samus had to admit, she admired the kid’s spunk.


In a grand turn of events, Samus was fully-clothed and bent over Bayonetta's knee, a scowl on her blushed face. “That's enough. Let go of me,” Samus grumbled, after fifteen minutes nonstop of being spanked.


The response she got was another loud smack , and Samus cried out, although it was more of a grunt. “Now, now, don't throw a temper tantrum. You've been naughty, and I'll spank you until you're a sweet, submissive little girl. What's with this rough power streak of yours, hmm?” Another slap to Samus’ fat ass, another grunt.

Samus laughed wryly. She didn't know what else to expect, and part of her knew that Bayonetta would insist upon being the dominant one in their coupling. Well, it was a nice change. She hated submission, but she sure did love getting off, and if she had to kiss a boot or two and get smacked once or twice...well, that's the life of a philanderer.