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It was cool when it slid in and quickly warmed to the temperature of his body. Lubed and frictionless, it was the hardest object he'd ever taken and it felt as if it wasn't there at all. It was pressure and fullness without source, as if Jack were spreading him open with telekinesis. As if Jack himself -- touching only the glass, no part of Daniel at all -- consisted only of his will, his love, the heat of his arousal soaking into Daniel's skin, Daniel's soul.

He moaned Jack's name, begging. He could feel Jack's smile.

It rotated inside him, pressing a little deeper, angling up a little more, and Daniel came so hard that his bedroom dissolved into swimming, swirling colored light. He liked a firm mattress, but the massive orgasm left him so boneless that it felt hard as rock under his back. Kind of cold, too ... must have crashed his whole metabolism ...

"Ah, Daniel?" Jack said, in a very strange tone of voice.

Daniel opened his eyes and blinked through the glasses he hadn't bothered to take off in his eagerness to try out the new toy. He was lying on the floor of a cavern. Lying supine on the stone floor of a vast cavern, naked except for his socks, with Jack kneeling fully dressed between his legs, still holding the toy in his ass, looking straight up.

Immense, diaphanous faces stared down at them, murmuring in otherworldly voices. Closer in, silhouetted against the giant aliens, Nicholas Ballard stared down at them, a delighted grin spreading across his face.

This gave a whole new dimension to one of your parents walking in on you during the act. A whole new dimension.

"Oh, Jack?" Daniel said, slowly and sweetly.

"Yes, Daniel?" Jack said, still agape, still looking up.

"Where did the glass dildo come from, Jack?"

Jack looked down as if only just realizing that he still had the thing pushed up into Daniel. He drew it out with a smooth twist that sent a delicious, debilitating afterspasm through Daniel's body, and Nick snorted and said, "They didn't teach you to distinguish crystal from common glass in those worthless schools I paid all that tuition?"

"Jack," Daniel said, in a very low voice, as Jack wrapped it in his pocket handkerchief.

"Well, this box came in the mail ... it was from that guy you asked to pick you up some ... you know, stuff ... so I went ahead and opened ... "

'That guy' was a friend of his and Rothman's from grad school. Daniel had been out to both of them since back then. His partner ran a sex boutique, and when he heard that Daniel worked for the military now he'd offered to 're-gift' a few things to save Daniel buying in person or online and so that the 'discreet packaging' would be truly discreet. He'd had a big grant come through right after that, so Daniel had thought it would be a while ...

"He's on a dig in Belize, Jack."

"Yeah, I saw the return address, Daniel. You have friends all over the damn planet. I thought he went shopping on his lunch hour!"

"Belize?" Nick cried. "Daniel, do you know what this could mean?"

Oh my god, Daniel thought, rolling to his feet, barely aware of Jack coming up beside him and shoving his arms into the oversize chamois shirt Jack had been wearing over his turtleneck. "They must have found the buried temple!"

 

> > > >

 

While Daniel and Nick argued Mesoamerican mythology and nintendos and arousal states and dimensional shifts in a mixture of English and Dutch and Yucatec Maya and wild gesticulation, Jack sat leaning back against the wall looking up at the giant aliens. The giant aliens looked back, muttering with cavernous reverb. He felt like a new groom stuck in the sitting room with the spinster aunts on Thanksgiving. The really, really, really big sitting room.

Well, there were worse ways to visit the in-laws. Judging from the quarter of the conversation he could understand, another orgasm via the crystal dildo was how they were going to get back. He was pretty sure who would be on the receiving end this time, and given that watching Daniel come on the thing had been so intense a turn-on that he was still half hard despite the surprise and the chill, that was fine by him -- and Daniel could come see his granddad as often as he liked.

"Beats the hell out of sitting in holiday traffic," he told the giant aliens, and grinned.

He could swear the damn things grinned back at him.