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Because I Can

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Disclaimer: I do not own the Potterverse, JK Rowling does. Needless to say, I am receiving absolutely no financial gain by writing this story.


Harry Potter roamed the corridors at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, also known as HSoWaW. It was half past midnight, and he was feeling a bit restless. So grabbing the Marauders Map, he donned his invisibility cloak and began to wander aimlessly through the school.

His travels brought him to the Prefects Bathroom, and he decided to go inside to frolic in the foamy, bubbly tub. But instead of finding the tub, he found a large cupboard filled with make-up and hair products.

Harry's hair had always been a disaster, so finding these products was a welcome surprise. Carson Kressley, eat your heart out! Harry grabbed some super-strength gel and Manical Panical semi-permanent hair colour, in Accio Azure. He leant his head over a sink and applied the dye to the root portion of his hair. Pleased with the results, he found Crucio Crimson and applied it to several sections of hair. I'm fucking hot, I am! Harry smirked at his reflection and delved into the cupboard until he found Gang Green and Screaming Yellow Zonkers, and finished his hair off. He looked like a walking HSoWaW advert. He truly was one of the hottest boys at HSoWaW, bar one.

Then came the super-strength gel, which he used to twist his luxurious locks into sharp, pointy spikes. To finish off his look, he applied Basic Black eyeliner and Violent Verdi Gris Mascara to his eyes. His lips were lined with Black Cherry liner and filled with Glomp Gloss. The mirror took one look at him and uttered "Squeee!"

"What did you say?" he queried.

"Bloody hell! Not again..."

Harry shook his pointed head and checked the map. There, in the third floor corridor was a dot moving back and forth, as restless as Harry felt. He covered his brand new spikes with the cloak and made his way toward the dot.


Draco Malfoy paced restlessly in the corridor. He had just come from the Prefects Bathroom, which he was shocked to find full of hair products. I must have died and gone to heaven! He loaded his pockets full of super-strength hair gel, and for a laugh, he used some Manical Panical hair colouring to turn his hair a bright shade of Gang Green. I am the hottest fucking thing on legs, I am! The mirror gazed upon his glorious countenance and uttered "Squeee!"

"What did you say?"

"You heard me, blondie!"

Draco just shook his Emerald head asemeraldasharryseyes and made his way out of the bathroom toward the corridor he currently occupied.

Ten minutes later, Draco heard the sound of footsteps, but could see nothing. A shiver ran up his spine, and he looked all around for the source of the mysterious sound. Just as he was about to run to the safety of the dungeons, a very pointy haired, very sexy Harry Potter appeared out of thin air.

"You're hot," he breathed. "I want to touch your luxurious and sexily pointy hair. May I?"

Harry looked at Draco as if he had seen a ghost.

"You're not so bad yourself, Draco."

Two hands gingerly reached out to touch the head of the other, and their eyes widened.

"I want you!"

"I want you too!"

Lips crashed into lips, and hands grasped at skin and robes. The sound of moaning filled the corridor, and both boys jumped back quickly.

"Myrtle, why did you have to do that?" Harry whinged. "Can't you see I am about to have hot boy sex with Draco here?"

A small tear slid down Myrtle's pale cheek and one word echoed through the corridor.


Chapter Text


Stumbling upon Draco in the third corridor that night had proved to be the best thing that had happened to Harry Potter. First of all, they both discovered that they were flaming homosexuals, and second, they found that they wanted to be homosexuals with each other.

The students at HSoWaW noticed that the (self-proclaimed) Slytherin Prince was spending an awful lot of time in the company of the Boy-Who-Bloody-Well-Wouldn't-Top-It, and rumours began to spread like wildfire.

"He's embracing the dark!" they said.

"The Light has lost it's symbol!" they cried.

"What will we all do now?" they chorused.

Through it all, Harry and Draco simply smirked, and continued to meet on a nightly basis to snog, as well as plan out their latest scheme: getting matching tattoos and piercings. Ever since they found the Manical Panical semi-permanent hair colouring and make-up, they decided to learn all they could about Goth. Through Flourish and Blotts they found GothWiz magazine, which gave them all the information they needed to become gorgeous Goth boys.

"I think I'd like to get a tattoo that covers my stomach and snakes up my chest," Draco said one evening as they pored over GothWiz. "That way, when I wear my new bat top, my tattoo will be visible."

The bat top was short and black, and it appeared to drip down Draco's skin, baring the pale expanse of his midriff, a perfect frame for the kind of tattoo Draco described.

"I think that would look hot, Rac." Harry snuggled up to Draco and ran a finger over the stomach in question, causing a shiver to run through Draco's body.

"You should get one as well, Ry."

Harry thought for a moment. "Hmm. You think?"

"Oh, yeah!" Draco enthused. "You would look so hot with a dragon twining up that toned and sexy stomach of yours."

"A dragon, hmm? Any particular reason you picked a dragon, Rac?"

Draco blushed prettily and smiled. "Well, I thought it would be a little reminder of me, something that would stay with you all the time."

"Ok." Harry was not about to argue with Draco, especially when his hand was sliding across Harry's stomach in a most provocative manner.


So it was Saturday afternoon, and Harry and Draco took the public Floo from The Three Broomsticks into The Leaky Cauldron in London. A new tattoo and piercing shop had opened up next door to Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, and the lads were just dying to get in there and see what was to be had for the up and coming gothic wizard.

The little bell chimed as they entered Skin Art and Piercing by Sam (SAPS), and a large, bald wizard greeted them.

"Hello, lads. What can I do for you this afternoon?"

Draco eyed the large man curiously. Every inch of visible skin was covered with art, from faeries to dragons, serpents to goblins -- and oddly enough, several crickets. Even his bald head was covered with skin art.

Draco cleared his throat. "We are interested in getting tattoos and piercings. I want a serpent that will cover my stomach and slide up to my chest. I want my skin to be visible when I dress up.' He pulled out his bat top to illustrate what he meant, and the bald man nodded his understanding.

Harry stepped forward then and expressed his wish to have a dragon in the same place Draco was having his serpent placed. "I also wanted to get my eyebrow, nipple (Draco sucked in a breath at this) ears, and tongue pierced."

"Not a problem, lads." The artist pointed to several designs that were plastered on his wall. "Which one of these would you like?"

Both Draco and Harry perused the wall quietly, until they found the design they desired. Draco chose a red and black snake with emerald eyes, and Harry a green and black dragon with silver eyes. Draco also added the word 'Parselmouth' over his heart, and Harry 'Draco Dormiens' over his.

They were directed to an area of the shop that was curtained off from the rest of it, where several chairs were placed. Harry and Draco stripped off their shirts and settled into their chairs and waited for the bald artist, who introduced himself as Sam, to come to them.

He arrived shortly after they did, carrying a large box with many strange looking implements in it. Harry gulped anxiously, not sure if this was going to be painful for him.

"Sir...Sam... is this going to be painful for me?" Draco voiced Harry's concerns out loud.

"Nah. I just bring out the box to make it look more complicated than it is." He chuckled as he placed a pattern on both Draco and Harry's stomachs, including the words they had chosen to wear over their hearts. "All I do now is utter a spell, and the design transfers and melds permanently to your skin. Honestly, d'ya think I would have this many tattoos if it was a painful process?"

Draco pondered this for a moment then shook his head. "No, I suppose that makes sense."

With that, the Sam uttered his spell. The air crackled with magic and the slight smell of burning rubber was present in the room. Harry looked over to Draco and gasped.

"Rac! Look! It's beautiful...breathtaking!"

Draco gazed over at Harry's torso and grinned. "Well, yours is stunning as well, Ry. I can't wait to get home so I can lick every inch of it!"

The artist cleared his throat. "Could I interest you in a Prince Albert?" He looked pointedly at Harry and Draco, waiting for their response.

"Are there any benefits?" Draco wasn't about to get the head of his cock pierced if there wasn't something in it for him.

"Some have said it makes sex more pleasurable, but this is a strictly individual thing." He dropped his trousers to show his own piercing. Harry's gaze was instantly drawn to the pierced penis. "This is a Prince's Wand, and it's a bit more extreme than your run of the mill Prince Albert. It wasn't very painful for me, but some men have experienced some pain." He shrugged and pulled his trousers back up. "It's up to you."

Harry's eyes showed interest and he looked up at Draco in question. It's not like they had actually had sex, but if this Prince Albert thing made it feel better, hell, he was all for that!

Draco nodded and turned to Sam. "All right."

Harry and Draco took a moment to decide what jewellery they wanted, and Draco was pleasantly surprised when Harry chose a Prince's Wand for himself. He watched in fascination as Sam pointed his wand at the head of Harry's penis and the piercing appeared. He pointed his wand at the other body parts that Harry wanted piercings in, and they magically and painlessly appeared.

Not to be outdone by his boyfriend, Draco had the same piercings done, and did not even wince as his urethra was pierced. He looked down at his cock and marvelled at the bit of silver shining there.

Sam took a breath and admired his work. "I believe we are finished here, lads. That will be §75.00 Galleons each."

Draco paid the man, then taking Harry by the hand, walked back to The Leaky Cauldron.

Chapter Text

Disclaimer: Not mine.


The Great Hall was alive with activity that evening, with the Gryffindor table laughing at the latest exploits of Seamus Finnigan, who was going on about the Kenmare Kestrals, and Dean Thomas, who was singing the praises of Westham Football club. Over at Slytherin, Crabbe and Goyle were enjoying their meal just a little too much, while Pansy Parkinson scowled at them. However, all activity ceased when Harry and Draco walked hand in hand into the Great Hall.

Draco was wearing his bat top, showcasing the tattoo that covered his torso in a sensual manner, and black PVC trousers that hugged his body like a second skin. On his neck was a black leather three ring choker, and a silver stud adorned his right nostril. Silver jewellery also decorated his eyebrow, tongue and one nipple, which was not visible under the black bat top. His hair, in striking Gang Green, was cropped close to his skull on the back of his head, and the front combed seductively over his left eye. Harry was dressed in a similar manner, a black crop top caressing his torso, the dragon emblazoned there peeking out from under it, and black PVC trousers hanging low off his slender hips. He also wore a leather three ring choker, and had piercings in his eyebrow, tongue and nipple. His hair still displayed the HSoWaW colour combo, and was spiked to perfection using super-strength hair gel. Both of them had artfully made up their faces using pale foundation, liquid black eyeliner, and smokey black eyeshadow. Draco's lips were green, matching the colour of his hair, while Harry's were a deep crimson. No one had a clue about the wand they carried in their trousers.

All eyes followed them as they made their way to their respective tables.

"Harry?" Ron choked.

"What have you done?" Hermione plaintively whined.

"Cool!" said Dean Thomas.

Harry ignored them all and sat down for his meal.

The scene was not much different over at the Slytherin table.

"What's he like?" mumbled Crabbe.

"Duhnasme..." said Goyle, between bites of his pudding.

Pansy just sat there and gawped.

Draco narrowed his perfectly sculpted brows as he took his seat at the head of the table.

"What are you lot staring at?" he sneered. Everyone lowered their heads and turned back to their meal as Draco dished out his supper.

The noise level was returning to normal in the Great Hall when Albus Dumbledore rose and tapped his knife against his goblet.

"May I have everyone's attention, please!" He waited for the room to become silent before he continued. "As you know, several years ago Hogwarts played host to the Tri-Wizard Tournament." Harry shuddered at the memory of this. "Keeping in the same spirit, this year Hogwarts will be hosting the Tri-Wizard International Talent Trials." The noise in the Great Hall began to raise to a dull roar, until Dumbledore raised his hands for silence. "Tryouts will commence forthwith, taking place each Saturday of this month. Talent can include singing, drama, or magical displays. Anything you are talented in will be considered. Thank you for your attention, now enjoy the rest of your meal." Dumbledore sat down, a mad twinkle visible in his sky blue eyes.

Draco's lips quirked up in a semi-smile as he caught Harry looking at him from across the room. He nodded his head slightly, indicating that it was time to start the next phase of their foray into the Goth world.


"One, two, three! Swivel, turn, hand on hip — sway, swivel, turn. Got it, Harry?" Harry blinked repeatedly at the steps Draco was walking them through for their performance try-out.


"I don't know if I can remember all this, Draco. Why can't we just demonstrate our seeker skills? At least I'm good at that." Harry whined.

"Because we want to really stand out! How do you expect us to stand out if we are doing something as mundane as flying?"

"You don't think it's mundane when we are playing Quidditch..."

"Come on, Ry. Be a sport. It will be fun, you'll see!"

Harry sighed and reluctantly began going through the dance steps Draco had instructed him in. After an hour he began to feel comfortable in the steps, and that was when Draco introduced the music to the dance.



"Where did you learn about Super Furry Animals? I mean, you are a pure-blood and anti-Muggle, and here you are having us dance and sing a song by a Muggle band."

Draco snickered. "Shows you what you know. Gruff Rhys and Huw Bunford are wizards, and the rest of the band are squibs descended from the Welsh witch Rhiannon."

Harry shook his head and sighed. Draco never ceased to surprise him, and this time was no exception. He leant over and pressed a soft kiss to Draco's lips. "You never cease to surprise me, Rac." He ran his hands through Draco's green hair, twining his fingers in the longer locks in the front, and running his palm over the shorter hair in the back. His Draco was a feast of sensation, and Harry never got tired of touching him.

Draco embraced Harry, his hands running lightly over Harry's back. They stood there for a moment, each enjoying the feel of the other's body against his own. Harry's kiss became more passionate, his tongue dancing lightly over Draco's lips. He could feel Draco writhing under his touch, and he was amazed because he was giving Draco so much pleasure. They finally separated reluctantly, and Draco got them back on track with the song.

"All right, Ry. Where were we again?"

Harry raised his eyebrow and grinned saucily. "Well, I had my hands in your..."

He was interrupted by Draco, who was glaring at him. "You know what I meant, you prat. C'mon, Ry, we need to get serious about this if we want to win. And you know how much I hate to lose. And if we sex for you!"

Harry shuddered at the thought and picked up the parchment with the lyrics to the song on them.

"So we sway on this lyric, and swivel on this one?" Harry pointed to the words on the page, his face awash with confusion.

Draco sighed. "Just follow my lead, Ry. Follow my lead."

Chapter Text

Author's notes: Eyeliner and gothic goodness. This is a parody, a bit of fluff done after conversing with C Dumbledore, Constant Vigilance, jameschick, Dorothy, and Fae. I cannot be held accountable for the Manical Panical. Six chapters, complete.


Disclaimer: Not mine.
Song: "Another Girl, Another Planet" by The Only Ones


Saturday morning dawned bright and early, and Harry squinted his eyes as the sun shone through his tower window. He yanked the covers over his head and tried to go back to sleep, but it was useless. His stomach was in knots because today he and Draco would be auditioning for the Tri-Wizard International Talent Trials.

No one knew that he and Draco were working together on an act for the TWITT. And although he and Draco often appeared hand in hand at mealtimes, not many people were aware that the two of them were dating. But ever since that night in the third floor corridor, they had been hot and heavy in the Room of Requirement, either snogging, sucking, or learning their dance steps. It was the snogging and sucking that Harry most looked forward to, and even if Draco was a taskmaster as far as the dance steps went, Harry relished the time spent with his sexy Slytherin.

He groaned as he pulled the covers off his head and put his glasses on. Yawning, he sat up and slid his feet into his slippers and padded to the toilet. After washing up, he returned to the dorm room and pulled a box out from under his bed. It was filled with the items he and Draco would need for their upcoming audition. He shrunk them all and put them in the pocket of his trousers. His face was bare of his customary make-up, and his hair was clean and shining black. He would not be applying his make-up and hair until time for the audition.

People gaped at him as he sat down for an early breakfast in the Great Hall. Harry felt slightly self conscious, but he didn't let it get to him as he dipped toast soldiers into his egg. He forced the toast down past the knots in his stomach, and hurriedly finished eating. Wiping egg yolk from the corner of his mouth, he rose from the table and left the Great Hall.


A very chipper Draco greeted him in the Room of Requirement with a smile and a kiss.

"Hey, gorgeous! Are you ready to wow the audition judges?"

Harry clutched his stomach dramatically. "Rac, I really don't feel very well. Maybe..."

"Maybe nothing!" Draco put his hand on Harry's forehead. "You're not running a fever, so you're fine. You just don't want to go to the try-out. But you're not getting out of it Ry, so don't even try."

Resigned to his fate, Harry sighed and conjured a mirror so he could do his hair and make-up. They had not planned on going full out for the audition, wanting to save the impact for the Talent Trials. He was glad that the try-outs were being held privately, so that no one else would be aware that they were even trying out. Harry had been explaining his absence each night by saying he was being tutored for his NEWTs. It was the best way he knew to keep Hermione from butting in to see what he was really up to. It was a little white lie, but it was necessary.

Today his hair was Gang Green and Molten Mercury, and Draco's was Crucio Crimson and Screaming Yellow Zonkers. Harry styled his into a semi-mohawk; the sides of his hair plastered down to the side of his head with super-strength gel, and the rest standing straight up from the top of his head. Draco's was in it's customary style, combed down over his eye. Neither of them wore the pale foundation today, but lined their eyes lightly and painted their lips; Harry's crimson and Draco's green.


Two heads swivelled to look at the mirror.

"Did you hear that?"

"Rac, that mirror said 'squee!.'"

"I'm perfectly aware of that. What is it about mirrors saying 'squee' anyway?"

"No idea, but the night I came upon you pacing in the third floor corridor, the mirror in the Prefect's Bathroom said exactly the same thing to me."

"What does it mean, Ry?"

"What does anything mean, Rac? You're asking the wrong person. Maybe the mirror has an answer."

Draco huffed and turned back to the mirror.

"You! Mirror! What the fuck does 'squee' mean?"

The mirror was mute for a very long moment, before speaking.


Draco threw a shoe at it, and it shattered, showering the room with shards of glass.

"That accomplished a lot." Harry stood up and put an arm around a very tense Draco. "Just let it go, Rac. We need to mentally prepare for this stupid audition. So let me see the Draco that I know and fell in love with."

Draco stopped still and turned to face Harry.

"What did you just say, Ry?"

Cold fear wrapped itself around Harry, seizing his heart in a death grip. He realised what he had just said, and knew that this was when the other penny would drop. He would tell Draco how he felt (hell, he already let it slip, didn't he?) and Draco would run. And Harry would be all alone. Oh, god, he didn't want to be alone! He had never been so happy as he had been these past months he'd spent with Draco. And now, because of a slip of the tongue, he was about to lose everything. His mind started to race, trying to think of a way to back track.

"Look at the time, Rac! We need to go, we're going to be late for the try out if we don't hurry!" Harry tugged on Draco's hand, dragging him out the door and down the corridor toward the audition room.

Harry might have swept the situation under the rug for the time being, but Draco was not about to forget what was said, and he fully intended to call Harry on it as soon as they finished the audition. And there would be no sweeping it under the rug then.


They arrived in the rehearsal room to find Professors Snape, McGonagall, and Sprout sitting at a table wearing stern looks upon their faces, and holding clipboards in their hands. The three looked worn out, and more than a little bored, no doubt spending the past three Saturdays in this room judging the talented (and not so talented) students of HSoWaW could take it out of a person.

"The two of you are Carrion?" Professor Snape snarked.

"Yes!" It was said in unison, causing both of them to giggle. Snape merely rolled his eyes. "You may begin."

Harry waved his wand in the air and music began. He looked at Draco, who gave him a reassuring nod, and began counting out the steps in his head.

Draco was the first to sing.

I always flirt with death
I could kill, but I don't care about it

Harry swivelled and turned to face Draco. Biting down his nausea, he sang.

I can face your threats
And stand up straight and tall and shout about it

I think I'm on another world with you
With you

Draco grinned and swayed, shook his hips and turned his body in a full circle.

I'm on another planet with you

You get under my skin
I don't find it irritating

Green eyes met silver, and huge smiles spread across both faces. Harry had really loosened up, and his movements came to him naturally. He reached out to touch Draco's cheek.

You always play to win
But I won't need rehabilitating

Harry and Draco finished up the song face to face, their voices blending together in smooth harmony.

I think I'm on another world with you
With you
I'm on another planet with you
With you
Another boy, another planet
Another boy, another planet

Out of breath they both turned to face the judges and took a bow. They would not know if they made the cut until the final list was posted on Sunday morning.

Walking out of the rehearsal room, Draco grabbed Harry's hand. "Don't think I've forgotten that comment you made. No sweeping it under the rug now, Ry."

Harry closed his eyes and groaned.

Chapter Text

Disclaimer: Not mine


Back in the Room of Requirement, Harry tried to quell his fear, but adrenaline from the try out was coursing through his body and there was only one thing that could calm him down. He grabbed Draco by the waist and pulled him in for a very long kiss that left both of them breathless.

Chest heaving, Harry pulled back to look deeply into Draco's eyes, afraid of what he might see there. But there was no hatred, no disgust. Only smiling silver eyes that looked back into his own. They sat down on a divan that the room had provided them with, and Draco laid his head on Harry's shoulder.

"You ready to tell me what it was you said earlier, Ry?" He allowed a sliver of hope to creep into his voice, and waited expectantly for an answer.

"I guess there's no getting around it, is there?" Draco grunted, which meant he was not about to be put off again. Harry sighed. This is it. This is where I voice my feelings and Draco runs away from me. He took a deep breath and removed Draco's head from his shoulder and lifted his chin so that they were sitting face to face.

"I said," his voice wavered slightly, "that I was seeing a glimpse of the Draco I had come to know so well and fell in love with." He looked down at his hands, unwilling to see the rejection he was certain was about to come. Tears were stinging the back of his eyelids, and he began to move away from Draco. He knew it was too good to be true. He had found something good, something pure, something that made him happy for the first time in his life and he had fucked it all up in a matter of moments. Stupid. Stupid!

Draco's silence said more to Harry than any words could, and he ripped himself out of Draco's arms. "Sorry," he mumbled. He stood up and began to stumble toward the door when firm hands grabbed him and pulled him back.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Harry looked like a deer caught in headlights, and he began to stammer.

"I — you — c-can't bear — fucked it a-all up, didn't I." He hung his head, still unwilling to look Draco in the eye.

Draco's heart went out to this young man that he had so thoroughly and deeply fallen for. He wanted to enfold the stammering young man in his arms, protecting him from everything that might harm him. What have I done to upset him so?

"Harry? Ry?" Draco wiped a black mascara tear from Harry's cheek and smoothed his hand over his back. "What did you fuck up, love?"

Harry's head shot up and he looked at Draco. "You're not angry, Rac?"

Draco's brow scrunched up in thought as black tears continued to sully Harry's perfect cheek.

"Of course not, silly bear! Why would I be angry?"

He felt the tension drain from Harry as he wrapped his arms around his gorgeous Gothic Gryffindor. Bringing his mouth against Harry's ear he nibbled on it, then quietly whispered "I've fallen in love with you, too."

Harry shivered, and Draco gathered him closer. "I think we are still a little high on adrenaline." He conjured a damp flannel and wiped the black streaks from Harry's face. "Let's go sit down."

They spent the remainder of Saturday huddled together in the Room of Requirement, snogging and wondering if they would be chosen for the Trials.


Sunday found the entire student population of HSoWaW crammed into a corridor near the rehearsal hall to see if their names appeared on the list of Tri-Wizard International Talent Trial finalists. Whoops of joy were mingled with the sounds of disappointment. Draco Malfoy was standing behind Pansy Parkinson, who had just found out that her dramatic reading would not be part of the Talent Trials. "Rotten luck. Maybe next time, Pansy," he said, playing at being the supportive friend, while sneaking looks at the list when no one was watching him. And there it was, Carrion. They had been accepted! He held back his excitement, giving Pansy a consoling pat on the back as they walked back to the Slytherin common room.

At lunch, Draco watched as Harry made his way over to the Gryffindor table. Catching Harry's attention, he gave him a tiny smirk and nod of the head, which Harry answered in kind from the other side of the room. The Talent Trials were only a month away, and Draco was ready to get back to practising. He already had several ideas that he was anxious to work on.


"One, two, three! snap...swivel...clap...turn!"

It was deja vu. It had to be. Harry felt like he had been here and done this before, only this time the taskmaster was absolutely relentless as he pushed Harry on to perfection.

"I'm tired, Rac! Can't we stop for a rest?" Harry was as exhausted as he looked, and he slid slowly to the floor.

"Ry, you saw who was representing the other schools. Gabrielle Delacour will be doing a dramatic reading from 'Beauxbatons: Stones From the Heavens' and you know she is a Veela and everyone will be attracted to her because of it. And Petrovich Rospatin will be displaying his control over dangerous creatures! So we have to be perfect, Ry."

Harry held a hand out to Draco and was pulled to his feet. "Come on, once again!"

Harry looked at Draco, and in a very serious tone said "Yes, Master! Tell me to jump and I will ask you how high, Master!" He concluded by dropping to his knee and bowing his head.

Draco smacked the top of Harry's head with the parchment containing their lyrics. "Very funny. Ha ha. Once more, and if we get through it without any errors I'll give you a reward." He licked his lips lightly and smiled, giving Harry more than enough incentive to do it right.

Later that evening they stretched out on a fluffy cushion next to the fire, discussing their plans for the Talent Trials. They were anxious, but confident they could blow everyone else out of the water.

Thanks to Constant Vigilance for the term 'silly bear.'

Chapter Text

Author's notes: Eyeliner and gothic goodness. This is a parody, a bit of fluff done after conversing with C Dumbledore, Constant Vigilance, jameschick, Dorothy, and Fae. I cannot be held accountable for the Manical Panical.

Disclaimer: Not Mine
Song: "The Man Don't Give a Fuck" by Super Furry Animals

The Tri-Wizard International Talent Trials were upon them before they even had a chance to catch their breath. Harry's nerves were still on edge, but having gone through the audition process, he felt less frightened of the actual Talent Trial. Four hours before the competition was to begin, Harry and Draco were back in the Room of Requirement getting a last minute jump on their competition.

Harry and Draco had an obviously shaky history with mirrors, and it was with trepidation that Harry conjured up two magically lit mirrors for himself and Draco. Draco pointed his wand at the mirror and casually cast Silencio on it. There was no way these mirrors would be making any silly squee noises tonight.


Little by little they dressed for the performance and prepared their hair and make-up. Several kisses and copious amounts of Manical Panical later, they were ready to go. Now all they had to do was wait for their name to be called.


"And zat ees how Beauxbatons came to be ze premiere magical school in France. I 'ope you 'ave enjoyed zis heestory." With a toss of her blonde hair, Gabrielle Delacour finished up her reading and bowed low to her audience. The crowds went wild, jumping to their feet, clapping and whistling their approval. It really didn't matter what she had to say, everyone automatically loved her, and had hung on her every word. Luckily the judges were using protective charms that repelled Veela powers.

Draco found it all rather funny; grown men and women making fools of themselves to gain Gabrielle's attention. It was so bad that Petrovich Rospatin, so enamoured of the French girl, was not able to perform. This meant that Draco and Harry were the next act up.

"Ladies, gentlemen, students, staff, and esteemed judges...Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is very proud to present our very own CARRION!

Everything went dark, and slow music began to weave a melody through the room courtesy of a Sonorus charm placed on a wizarding musical player. Harry gave Draco's hand a squeeze, and then they were on.

A gasp could be heard rippling throughout the room when two spotlights cast their luminous glow on Harry and Draco. They were standing side by side on the stage looking at the floor, and clad neck to toe in black capes. The only colour visible on the pair came from their hair, which was coloured in various shades of Manical Panical semi-permanent hair colour, and Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Lip Balm. Draco slowly raised his head and his voice was the first heard.

Spent some times in stormy weather
Under clouds of my dilemma

Draco stepped back as Harry's head began to raise and his voice rang true through the hall. Slow...slow...slow...

Now there's nothing much to do
But sit and rot in front of televisions
Staring back at me

Side by side they stood, the spotlight on them slowly growing larger. The turned to stare at each other, as their voices joined together, resonating through the room. Slow...slow...slow...

I'm just waiting for the microwaves
To wash me into the sea

Students and staff alike were puzzled by the words the two were singing. Only the Muggle-borns understood what television and microwaves were.

Suddenly Draco and Harry yanked their capes off, revealing their fishnet clad bodies. Not only were the Serpent and the Dragon visible, but so were the words written over their hearts. And the way they looked at each other, it became quite apparent that they had been a couple for quite some time. Snap...swivel...

Down in the audience, Ron Weasley looked like he was going to be sick, and Crabbe and Goyle just sat there gobsmacked. Hermione and Pansy sat there wide eyed, shocked at just how hot their friends looked together. Why hadn't they noticed it before?

The music kicked in and all of the lights came on, illuminating Harry and Draco as they sang and danced on the stage.

You know they don't give a fuck about anybody else
You know they don't give a fuck about anybody else
You know they don't give a fuck about anybody else
You know they don't give a fuck about anybody else

Clap...turn They made their way toward each other, lost in the moment, lost in the music, and lost in each other. Their hands joined as they stood facing each other once again, as Draco began to sing. Slow...slow...slow...


Out of focus ideology
Keep the masses from majority

A chorus of 'yeah yeah...yeah yeah' echoed through the hall, before Harry began his part. Slow...slow...slow...

Experts, brain washed, tumble dried
Left to bleed whilst vultures glide

Snap...swivel...clap...turn... They were facing the audience again, singing, no, Shouting the lyrics together.

You know they don't give a fuck about anybody else
You know they don't give a fuck about anybody else
You know they don't give a fuck about anybody else

Harry and Draco jumped into the audience and began pulling people to their feet, encouraging them to sing along. Pansy and Hermione grinned and started clapping and dancing along, as did Seamus and Dean.

Ron sulked until Harry danced up to him and pulled him reluctantly to his feet. "Come on, Ron...please??" he mouthed silently. Ron finally gave in and joined the others.

Meanwhile, Draco was persuading Crabbe and Goyle to get to their feet and dance, if one could call what they did dancing. But they made the effort, for which Draco was grateful.

Back on stage Harry and Draco commenced singing and clapping, encouraing everyone to sing along.

You know they don't give a fuck about anybody else
You know they don't give a fuck about anybody else
You know they don't give a fuck about anybody else
You know they don't give a fuck about anybody else

As the song faded out, the audience was on their feet, not only singing along with the unlikely pair, but clapping and cheering as well. Harry and Draco took each other by the hand and took several low bows, before leaving the stage and heading back to the Room of Requirement.

"That was...absolutely amazing!" Harry's breath was coming in gasps, but he was happy with their performance, and even happier that his friends did not seem to disapprove of his relationship with Draco. He launched himself at his (self-proclaimed) Slytherin Sex God and wrapped his arms around him, kissing his breath away. Neither of them had ever felt such intense love from another human being until now.

Needless to say, Carrion won the Tri-Wizard International Talent Trials, even though they used the word 'fuck' numerous times in their performance. Those who were offended by the word had a quick memory charm performed on them by two enterprising witches; one Gryffindor and one Slytherin.


The TWITT performance opened the doors of communication between Gryffindor and Slytherin Houses, and in the new climate that HSoWaW operated under, Harry (with Draco's help) easily defeated Voldemort. They never said how they did it, but considering the deed was done, no one was going to question the means.

Three years after leaving Hogwarts, Harry and Draco were handfasted in a small, private ceremony with only a few family members and friends present. Ronald Weasley stood by Harry's side as his best man, while his wife, Pansy, helped Hermione Goyle plan the ceremony. Hermione's husband Gregory stood by Draco as his best man while Vincent and Ginevra Crabbe served as witnesses. Albus Dumbledore, he of the maddening twinkle, performed the ceremony, wishing the happy couple a long and fruitful life together.

As Harry and Draco prepared to leave for their honeymoon, they stood in front of a floor length mirror, their black and blond heads presenting a striking contrast. Turning to give each other a kiss before they departed, they heard an unmistakable sound, a sound they had not heard in over four years.


Draco finally asked the mirror why it kept saying 'squee,' and both he and Harry broke out in hysterical laughter at it's answer.

"Because I can."


Fishnet courtesy C Dumbledore