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I'm stronger than you think

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Balthazar’s eyes slowly opened as he took in his surrounds, he was back in the hospital. Balthazar’s wrist hurt, and his head kind of hurt…

 

“Daddy?” A voice made him turn to see Benji sitting next to him, Benji set benny’s phone on the table as he stood moving closer to him.

 

“Hey benji…” Balthazar tried to sit up, as he grunted in pain, as he noticed his broken wrist, now covered in a white cast. It had already signs that benji helped himself to a marker making it beautiful while he slept.

 

“Daddy said not to move.” Benji spoke as Balthazar waved it away.

 

“I’m fine.” Balthazar spoke, as he looked at his son. Benji tilted his head crossing his arms. God, he looked so beautiful. So much like benny. There were times that he saw himself in benji too. When he was concentrating on his pokemon game, that’s when he looked the most like balthazar. Balthazar relaxed back listening to his child, who was too much like his father by his own good. “Alright, I’m listening.”

 

Benji went back to sitting at the chair next to him once again as he child eyed his dad.

 

“...I’m okay buddy.” Balthazar ruffled his hair with his good hand, as Benji looked at him.

 

“Daddy said you passed out.” Benji spoke as Balthazar nodded.

 

“Yeah I did buddy.” Balthazar spoke as he slid his fingers over his belly, taking in the weight he was slowly adding on. He looked five months pregnant despite being only being four. He could feel his little ones moving all the time inside him, like a little tickle. They were getting more and more active.

 

“...Is it because grandpa did bad things?” Benji asked as balthazar paused looking at him. “I heard daddy telling Alex.”

 

“Did you?” Balthazar spoke amused as Benji sighed. “Spying from your secret room again? I thought we told you not to do it.”

 

“I’m not a baby anymore. I’m six.” Benji stated matter of factly.

 

“Oh.” Balthazar chuckled. “Six, you say? I see.” Balthazar blinked at him lovingly at the six year old who continued to give him his benny concern stare. “Come here.”

 

Balthazar patted the space besides him, as Benji hesitantly climbed up on the bed taking a seat in the little space given as balthazar slid him close.

 

“So you’re not a baby anymore huh?” Balthazar sighed lovingly nuzzling into his little pup.

 

“Nope. I’m a big boy, papa. I’m almost old enough to be ten, ten means i'm old enough to walk home from school.” Benji said matter of factly, Balthazar slid his hand softly over benji’s hand.

 

“Yes, I am starting to forget you are growing up.” Balthazar chuckled to himself. Benji continued to blink up to Balthazar waiting for balthazar to continue, but balthazar was avoiding.

 

“Are you okay?” Benji asked which caught balthazar off guard. after a couple minutes Balthazar caved.

 

“...Losing your grandpa...was very hard for me…” Balthazar spoke as he looked at Benji. “Without your grandpa I would have never have met your dad...never would have had you.” Balthazar nuzzled tightly against him.

 

“But you hated grandpa.” Benji spoke.

 

“I did…” Balthazar laughed. “But...when you love someone and they let you down...it’s always hard.”

 

“...I couldn’t hate you or daddy.” Benji blinked.

 

“Wait till your highschool years when we are practically lock you up to keep you from trouble.” Balthazar chuckled kissing his head.

 

“...Do you still love grandpa?” Benji asked. “Since...his bad things…”

 

“...I do.” Balthazar whispered. “...I hate myself for it. The more and more I think of it….but...he was still by dad…”



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Many years ago







Seven year old sat at the kitchen table in a hotel, helping himself to the provided nuts and cookies that were provided by the hotel. They did this often. Hotel hop. Whenever his father was dumped out on his ass by his girlfriends or wives. They ended up here.

 

Balthazar’s blue eyes slid over the empty room, his father out getting the groceries for the day. Mostly consisting of cereal and junk food. Which was great thing for a kid his age. The only time he ate vegetables was when his father gained a wife. She would try to woo him, try to make it look like she was mother material. It was always the same thing. It would stop once his father and them had problems, then they would be out again. In another hotel.

 

Balthazar’s eyes moved to the open door, which his father walked in smoking a cigarette.

 

“Morning, lil’ one.” Adam spoke walking in he placed a bag of the groceries on the table. He started to pull different assortments of food from the bag. Different unhealthy cereals, and sweets.

 

“Morning daddy.” Balthazar blinked, as he helped himself to a box of lucky charms, before a hand stopped him.

 

“Did you eat your vegetables?” Adam asked ushering to the nuts.

 

“Yes, dad.” Balthazar spoke before helping himself to the bowl. Adam eyed him as he stuck his hand into his pocket and pulled out a small toy. Placing it on the counter next to balthazar, Balthazar paused as he smiled big at the toy. “NO WAY!”

 

“Yep, I had to trade one hundred bottle caps for that one.” Adam spoke with pride.

 

It was a thing a nearby candy store did. Buy a soda, keep the bottle cap and you can by thumb size toys. Balthazar almost had them all. Kept them in a small carved out book. Balthazar looked over the the toy, one of the few he didn’t have. There were some that were three hundred bottle caps, and even five hundred. There were rumors there was even worth a thousand but Balthazar thought that was made up. Balthazar moved to his father hugging him.

 

“I love you, daddy!” Balthazar squeezed him as Adam smiled happy for his little boy.

 

“I love you too.” Adam spoke before picking balthazar up. Balthazar broke into giggles as Adam squeezed him tightly.

 

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Now







Balthazar glanced up seeing Benny come in. Benny paused holding mcdonald's for Benji. Benny’s eyes lit up seeing his mate awake, as he placed the food onto the table and cupped Balthazar’s face.

 

“My love.” Benny beamed as Balthazar blinked up at him in love before benny kissed him lovingly.

 

“Good morning.” Balthazar hummed as Benji moved to grab his juice from his happy meal.

 

“How long have you been awake?” Benny asked.

 

“Not long.” Balthazar whispered as benny nuzzled into him. “...When can we go home?”

 

“I’ll ask the doctor.” Benny spoke as he pressed a kiss to his mate’s head walking out to talk to the doctor. Balthazar watched Benji chew on his apples from his happy meal as Balthazar eyed him.

 

“...Hand me your daddy’s fries.” Balthazar spoke as Benji listened. Balthazar happily chewed on benny’s fries.

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Balthazar chewed on benny’s hamburger on the ride home, rubbing his belly with love. Benny wasn’t angry that balthazar pretty much snagged his meal at the hospital...and snagged the new one coming home.  Benny was smart and bought extra.

 

Balthazar avoided eyes with the reporters, his focus on the uneasiness of his stomach. Maybe the twins could feel the upset he was?

 

Benny slid a coat over balthazar who happily took the shield as they walked towards the house, Benji in benny’s arms protectively as the reporters tried to talk to the now famous Balthazar. Benny didn’t let him go till they were far away from the windows, which Balthazar was helped to sit down on the couch.

 

“I’m fine.” Balthazar scoffed at his mates protectiveness.

 

“You need rest.” Benny spoke seriously closing the blinds. “Did you want to rest in the bedroom?”

 

“I slept at the hospital.” Balthazar reassured him.

 

“Couple more hours more.” Benny spoke. “Please. I will leave you alone if you slept a bit longer.”

 

“...Okay.” Balthazar stated as he laid back down softly, benny moved to place some blankets on him. “You’re lucky I like you.” Benny leaned over him eyeing his face before kissing him softly.

 

“Yeah, I’m lucky you do too.” Benny confessed as balthazar blushed softly before they gave each other one loving kiss before benji’s game went off making the parents look to the six year old who was making faces at their kisses.

 

“...” Balthazar eyed his son grossed out by their affection. “Are you sure you want solo daddy duty?”

 

“I got this.” Benny hummed. “We’ll get ice cream for a couple hours.”

 

“Ice cream?!” Benji beamed.

 

“...Okay.” Balthazar ushered benji over pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Be good.”

 

“I’ll try. ” Benji commented.

 

Try harder.” Balthazar poked his nose as Benji went to his father who gave Balthazar one last kiss before they left for ice cream.

 

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Benny’s POV









Benny handed Benji a ice cream cone, which benji took the ice cream happily. Benny chewed on his own ice cream, moving to take a seat with his son at the table. Benji was growing so big, benny watched him with love as Benji licked the ice cream getting it all over his face.

 

“...Are you going to talk to papa about uncle Castiel and Dean?” Benji asked as Benny paused.

 

“...No. Not right now.” Benny shook his head. “I don’t want him to worry about Castiel too.”

 

“Why? He’s his best friend?” Benji asked.

 

“...You see, papa has a lot going on right now with grandpa and your siblings. He needs to worry about himself right now. If he finds out about...Dean and Castiel, he will try to go fix it and he’s not at a place to put himself last.” Benny licked at his own cone.

 

“...Papa’s going to be mad.” Benji spoke.

 

“Well, we’ll keep it between us. Yeah?” Benny spoke. “If you do i’ll get you that videogame you wanted.”

 

“Papa’s already getting that for me.” Benji sighed.

 

“...Wait, why is papa getting that for you?” Benny asked suspiciously.

“...um.” Benji paused obviously said something he shouldn’t have.

 

“I’ll buy you that game and something else if you tell me.” Benny stated.

 

“...Papa drops me off at Uncle Michael and Uncle Lucifer’s house when he needs to go to the doctor.”  Benji stated.

 

“He’s just going for the twins.” Benny spoke relaxing at that, with a chuckle.

 

“But he was doing that before the twins.” Benji sighed. Benny paused at this again.

 

“...When does he go to the doctors?” Benny asked.

 

“...Every monday, when you do practice late.” Benji sighed, Benny nodded softly as Benji continued to eat his ice cream.

 

“Come on, Let’s go get you that game.” Benny spoke as Benji got up and followed him towards the car.

 

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Balthazar’s POV





Balthazar moved around the house cooking dinner, chewing on chips while he cooked dinner. He was never this hungry with the other kids, but now and days with the twins balthazar would be non stop snacking. Even when he was already making the food for them.

 

Balthazar noticed the empty house, but benny had already told him Alex was with claire right now. He said she might be there for a couple days for...a school assignment. Which the girls being so close wasn’ t a odd thing.

 

Glancing up at the sound of the door, Benny was already ushering benji to wash up before bed. Which Balthazar thought nothing of as he continued to plate their plates.

 

“Good. you’re home, just in time.” Balthazar licked his fingers as he moved to grab the salad.

 

“Why do you go to the doctors on mondays.” Benny spoke which caused balthazar to freeze in place. Benny stared at him no emotion in his expression as Balthazar tensed slowly turning to look at him.

 

“Benji.” Balthazar clicked his tongue as he set the salad back down crossing his arms he looked at benny. “I’m not cheating on you-”

 

“Is it serious?” Benny cut him off. Balthazar blinked in surprise, he thought he would have gone to cheating but….benny knew better. Balthazar nodded softly, benny moved to him without hesitation pulling the omega into his arms. Balthazar sucked in air as he felt his mate hold him.

 

He has been keeping this a secret for so long, that...the flood of tears couldn’t be avoided as Balthazar broke down crying. Benny nuzzled against him, just holding him as Balthazar cried in the arms of his lover.

 

“It’s going to be okay.” Benny whispered as Balthazar nodded pressing loving kisses to benny’s lips. “We’ll get through this as always.”

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” Balthazar whispered. “I didn’t want to worry you.”

 

“A little too late for that.” Benny joked as Balthazar eyed his face softly. Balthazar cupped Benny’s face as he held his forehead to his.

 

“...It’s cancer, Ben.” Balthazar whispered as Benny’s smile faded. Benny didn’t speak as Balthazar quickly continued. “...No, The babies aren’t risking my health….”

 

“....” Benny continued to say nothing.

 

“Babe, don’t blame yourself. I wanted them too.” Balthazar whispered. “Why do you think I didn’t want to tell you? I didn’t want you to think you pressured me into getting pregnant.”

 

“...” Benny wiped a tear that slid down his face as Balthazar cupped his face. Balthazar pressed him into a hard loving kiss, as benny slowly kissed back, reacting to his lips.

 

“I love you. I love our babies. Okay?” Balthazar panted against his lips as benny whispered his I love you back before balthazar lightly started to unbutton benny’s shirt. “How long would you say Benji will take to get in the shower and in his pajamas?”

 

“Ten minutes.” Benny spoke as balthazar kissed him back once more.

 

“Then you got eight minutes.” Balthazar whispered as Benny picked him up, Balthazar eyed his face before they reconnected back into a heated kiss. Benny carrying him back into the bedroom.

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Balthazar’s POV - Couple days later









Balthazar chuckled at he chewed on his cereal, Benny was trying to convince Benji that cereal came from money’s poo. Which Benji kept glancing at Balthazar who was trying to keep a straight face.

 

“Really?” Benji asked looking at balthazar.

 

“He’s fucking with you.” Alex spoke as she grabbed her own cereal.

 

“I knew it!” Benji beamed.

 

“Damn it alex!” Benny huffed. “This was a week in the making.”

 

“Sorry.” Alex shrugged, as she looked at her dad. “...I’m going to go be with Claire. You know...before the funeral.” All their smiles faded, as they remembered why today they were wearing all black. The funeral for Madison.

 

“Yeah. Go baby.” Balthazar handed her some to go breakfast as Benny stood.

 

“I’ll drive you.” Benny spoke as Alex nodded following him out to the car. Benny had told Balthazar a couple days after balthazar had returned home from the hospital after passing out. Balthazar has been by Castiel’s side ever since. Dean locked away in some hotel, despite multiple offers to have him stay with them. They were only even here now to get ready.

 

Alex pulled open the door both, both benny and alex pausing when they noticed a group in front of their door. Three people, two boys and one girl who seemed to pause conversation at the sight of them. Benny instantly moved in front of Alex, as he pointed to the street.

 

“What? You new reporters or something? You can’t be on our property!” Benny snapped as they seemed taken back.

 

“N-No. We aren’t reporters.” The older man spoke, as Balthazar moved to see what was happening. The man stopped speaking at the sight of balthazar.

 

“Then who are you?” Benny asked crossing his arms, as the woman with them started to cry seeing balthazar.

 

“Ari.” The other man spoke holding her.

 

“He’s here. He’s really here.” Ari spoke as she wiped her tears. “God, he looks so much like dad.”

 

“Dad?” Balthazar whispered.

 

“...We….are your older siblings.” The older man spoke, as Benny looked at them. He could see the relation in their faces. “We had already left home when…”

 

“...We almost gave up.” Ari spoke. “We buried you and everything.”

 

“But we never could give up.” The middle brother spoke as Ari moved to hug balthazar, unable to hold herself back as Balthazar stood frozen. He had actual...siblings? “When the news broke the story, we knew we had to come right away.”  

 

Balthazar moved to hold his older sister who sobbed loudly in his ear, he had actual siblings? Ones that wouldn’t just be temporary?

 

Ari pulled back wiping her tears as she put a hand close to his belly.

 

“Y-You’re expecting? No wonder you're glowing.” Ari sobbed happily as she moved to hug him again. “I’m obviously ari. This is Lincoln and Carter….god...I never thought this day would come.” Ari moved to hold him again as Balthazar hugged her back tightly tears sliding down his face.

 

“Please, Come in.” Benny spoke as he ushered them inside.

 

“P-Please.” Balthazar spoke pulling from Ari, to hug Lincoln and Carter. Holding them tightly, before leading them all towards the living room. Benny smiled softly as Balthazar started to talk their ear off, talking about the twins, benji, alex and benny. They listened happily, just wanting to know more about their brother they thought was long gone.

 

“Ready dad?” Alex spoke as benny turned his attention towards her, he nodded before grabbing his keys and walked out the door.

 

Even though their happy ending had come...they couldn’t forget the reason they were all wearing black today. However, just for a second, they were going to enjoy the moment of happiness today had given them.