It had been a long recovery made much more comfortable with Steve by his side.
It seemed as if he were right there with him all along the way, when he had woken up to Steve sitting next to his hospital bed two days after his surgery the super soldier smiled, leant over took his hand and said.
“I watched you while you were sleeping.” Phil’s groggy mind could barely connect the dots so soon but he smiled softly up at him anyway and was halfway wondering if he had woken up or died.
He imagined dying would have looked the same way right about then if heaven exists.
After that Steve spent everyday with the agent keeping him company, they would spend their mornings sharing the newspaper, Steve would take the funny sections first and hand Phil the news, later switching back.
Coffee black had become a morning ritual as well as white frosted donuts and the morning news.
Later Steve would go to SHIELD to check in for the day, he would spent most of the afternoon there while Phil received the other Avengers as visitors.
Later after hours Steve would return to Phil’s room for the evenings.
He would bring Chinese every Wednesday and Pizza every Friday.
Phil would find a film on Netflix and they would watch it until eight PM and Steve would say farewell for the evening and that’s how things went.
Eventually towards the end of Phil’s recovery Steve started staying later until Phil would fall asleep, he’d tuck him in at night and turn off the television.
Before he would leave for good he’d check him one more time to make sure he was sleeping peacefully, he would smile then turn to leave for the night.
Several weeks were spent that way until Phil got where he could get around more easily, he and Steve would go for short walks and soon Phil was sent home.
The night Phil had to pack up Steve stayed there the entire time, he helped him with his things though Natasha and Clint were there to offer their assistance too.
That night Phil settled into his living room taking in a breath and feeling glad to be home, where he felt safe and knew where everything was.
Steve took his bag of cloths to his bedroom for him and they awkwardly stood there in silence.
Phil smiled and wanted to tell Steve how much he had enjoyed his company, Steve wanted to tell him how much he would miss the time they had spent together. Neither man did so.
After Phil was allowed back at work Steve quickly began to miss their movie nights that eventually ended in Phil asleep before the end.
Steve was happy that he made almost a full recovery and was upset at himself for feeling jealous of his time being spent elsewhere.
Phil got so busy that Steve hardly got to see him these days, only in meetings at SHIELD and sometimes in the halls, that simply wasn’t often enough.
One day Phil found himself sitting in his office, he had finished his paperwork for the day and was preparing to head home for the evening.
He glanced at the picture of captain America on his desk and briefly grieved the time he could no longer spend with Steve. In a hospital room during recovery is a much different scenario than taking him to his home or vise versa.
It isn’t allowed, he is the Avengers handler and in a way Steve’s boss.
Phil sighed heavily and turned the picture where it laid face down on his desk unable to look at it anymore.
Then there was a knock on his door, Phil shook it off before he said for them to come in.
To his utter surprise and elation it was Steve.
“Hey, Phil.” He said a little timidly and Phil smiled softly.
“Captain Rogers, what can I do for you?” he asked and Steve made a face of disappointment that he spoke to him so formally.
Steve sat in the chair in front of his desk and folded his hands over his lap.
“Phil, I was just thinking, would you like to come over later and watch a movie? Its Wednesday and I thought we could get Chinese like we used too.” He replied and shrugged shyly.
Phil smiled and his heart swelled and hurt at the request, that’s what he wanted more than anything. He missed Steve so much.
“I’m sorry Captain, I cant.” He replied and looked down at the desk Steve nodded in disappointment and Phil could tell he had hurt him.
“Oh, alright. Maybe some other time then?” he said back and stood up trying to brush it off.
“I don’t think so, Captain.” Phil replied and it hurt to say those words probably more than it hurt Steve to hear them.
Steve stared back at him blankly for a moment before he nodded sadly then looked at the floor.
“Oh, alright then, Well—goodnight then, Phil. Uh Agent Coulson.” He said back still looking at the floor and all Phil wanted to do is push that desk over and give him the biggest hug of his life.
“Goodnight, Captain.” He replied feigning nonchalance and watched as Steve turned and left the office. Phil immediately buried his face in his hands.
He refused to lose it while on the job and immediately sucked it up, he stood from his desk and made his way home.
Later that night Phil was laying in bed staring at the ceiling, all he could think about was the look of disappointment on Steve’s face, the look of hurt and confusion.
He threw his covers off and made his way into his kitchen, turned the light on and dug some damn leftover Chinese out of his refrigerator.
Ignoring the irony he sat down at the table and started to eat it alone. He missed Steve, enormously but rules are rules, life doesn’t make sense without rules.
He was sitting there for a few moments and halfway through the leftovers when he heard a heavy knock on his door.
Considering the hour he had no idea who it could be, he stood up tied his robe closed and made his way to the front door.
When he got there he looked through the peephole and his heart leapt in his chest when he saw Steve standing there.
He took in a deep breath and knew it must be important if he decided to come by instead of just calling him.
Phil opened the door and looked up into Steve’s eyes, he looked almost as undressed as Phil was, in jeans a white t-shirt and a hoodie
“Ste—uh Captain Rogers, how can I help you?” he asked and Steve looked at him with a desperation in his face that didn’t take Phil anytime to notice.
“I hope I didn’t wake you.” Steve said and wrung his hands a little nervously.
“No I was already awake. I couldn’t sleep.”
“Me either.” Steve replied almost immediately.
“Its late and this wouldn’t look right maybe you should head on home.” Phil replied ignoring the aching in his chest.
“No, I don’t want to, Phil I…” Steve replied and stepped closer. “Phil I miss you so much, we spent so much time together now I’ve only seen you a handful of times in a month. I know you’re busy but it just feel wrong.” Steve said adamantly and Phil stood there gaping at him, he hoped but didn’t actually think Steve would miss him.
“I miss you too Steve, so much.” He said and his brows furrowed, Steve stepped even closer and cupped his face in his hands kissing him straight on the mouth.
It was sloppy, unpracticed and Phil couldn’t believe it was happening.
Phil pushed him off gently and Steve stared down at him utterly hurt and disappointed.
“I’m sorry I…” Steve stuttered but Phil interrupted him.
“Steve I want this with you, so much. You cant even understand how much, but we cant be together.” He replied strongly and Steve shook his head.
“Why not?” he asked desperately and Phil frowned heavily, it wasn’t often he lost his cool but seeing Steve so hurt and rejected his eyes were doing a damn good job at threatening him with tears.
“Steve its, its not allowed, It’s against regulations. We cant.” He replied and stepped back, Steve followed him and grabbed him by the arms.
“Pardon me but Fuck regulations,” Steve replied and Phil put aside the shock of him cursing to register what Steve was implying. “damn it Phil, I don’t know how or when it happened but I am in love with you.” Steve added and kissed him a second time.
Phil allowed himself to indulge for just a few moments before he pulled back.
“Steve, you don’t love me. You couldn’t.” he replied in disbelief but Steve wrapped an arm around his waist and cupped the side of his face in his hand.
“Phil, I want to wake up to you every morning. Share the newspaper, drink coffee then go to work with you everyday so I can come home with you, have dinner with you and watch you fall asleep before the movie is over so I can explain it to you when you wake up as I carry you to our bed.” Steve replied and Phil went ahead and let those tears fall. “I love you Phil Coulson.”
It was this moment that Coulson recognized that look of determination in the Captains eyes, he knew without a doubt Steve meant every word he had said and would make that dream a reality no matter what it takes.
“Steve, I love you too.” He said back softly and Steve moved in to kiss him again, Phil wrapping his arms around his neck.
After a few long moments they pulled away both breathing a little heavily.
“Its against the rules Steve. What are we going to do?” he asked quietly and Steve shook his head.
“I don’t know but first off, we should probably go inside.” He replied and Phil pulled away to let him in, yes that would probably be a good idea, at least its harder to get a good view from inside the house if SHIELD is surveying him.
Phil and Steve went inside and Steve immediately pressed Phil’s back up against the closed door, kissing him hard on the mouth.
His hands roamed his body desperately and moved beneath his robe as the ties fell loose, Phil groaned into the kiss and ran his hands down his chest then underneath Steve’s sweatshirt and t-shirt to feel his hot flesh underneath.
Steve gasped against Phil’s mouth and pressed his body closer putting a thigh between Phil’s legs. Phil was a little surprised to feel him already hard against his stomach but considering the super soldier serum he supposed it made sense.
Steve moved back from the kiss and blushed pink cause he knew Phil had felt it.
“Oh, oh my..” Phil stuttered and Steve smiled sheepishly before he pressed forward and kissed him again.
Steve’s hands moved to push Phil’s robe off his shoulders so he was down to his tank top and pajama pants, then ran his hands hotly down his arms then underneath the shirt.
Steve pulled back momentarily to pull his shirt off over his head, Phil rose his arms to allow him to pull it off.
“I want you… to know…I’ve never…done this…before.” Phil gasped between kisses.
Steve pulled back to pull his own shirt off this time, Phil’s eyes followed the movement to land on his chest.
“Me either..” Steve replied breathily then pressed forward kissing him again desperately.
Phil pushed him off gently.
“I mean, with a subordinate.” He replied and Steve smiled.
“It’s okay.” He gasped and kissed him again as his hands ran around his waste. “I wont tell.” He teased hotly against Phil’s ear.
“Oh, Steve, you’re going to get me into trouble.” He gasped back.
Three months later.
The Avengers were sitting in the conference room seemingly everything was normal, only thing is Tony had noticed the fact that Steve was never home and when he was it was never on a Wednesday or Friday night, like Tony always does he assumed the worst that perhaps Steve was against them somehow and plotting with some villain those nights.
Eventually he had one of his bogies follow him and couldn’t contain his giggles when he realized where he had been going all the this time.
He was actually a little disappointed in himself that he hadn’t seen it before, the unnatural glow that Steve had been wearing more lately.
The fact that Thursday mornings Phil’s shoulders looked a little less tense than the rest of the week.
He always considered himself a bit of a detective but apparently tracking down a senior agent and a super soldier breaking rules was a little harder to do than one would think.
The meeting was nearly adjourned just when Fury asked if anyone had something to add.
“I do!” Tony quipped a little too excited to spill the beans, everyone sighed in annoyance preparing themselves for whatever shenanigan Tony had planned for this weeks meeting.
“How does SHIELD view relationships within the same department. Say a subordinate and his boss?” he asked and flashed a look at Steve and Phil whom were not sitting together I may add.
Steve’s face went white and Phil stayed the same, learning that overreacting was the worst thing to do in situations like this.
“It is against the rules Mr. Stark.” Fury replied and eyed him. “What are you getting at?”
“What if I told you, Capsicle and Agent have been banging every Wednesday and Friday night? Like clock work.” Tony replied and smiled.
Director Fury shot Agent Coulson a look and Steve stood up irate.
“I wont let you talk about Phil that way, It isn’t like that Tony, you just don’t understand.” He replied and Fury put his hands up.
“Come on, everyone calm down.” Fury said in exasperation, he’s known about their relationship since the day it started.
Steve glared at Tony for a second and Phil just crossed his arms but was elated at how quickly Steve stood to defend what they had.
“I’m sure you’re feeling very clever right now Stark, but Agent Coulson made me aware of the situation three months ago. Considering the oddities of this unit I’ve decided to let it slide.” Fury replied and Steve relaxed somewhat, he knew Fury was aware but he wasn’t about to let Tony talk about the man he loves in that manner.
Tony went to protest but Nick interrupted him.
“And that will be all Mr. Stark.” He said toughly and Tony threw his hands up.
“Thanks for ruining my fun Phil.” Tony quipped on his way out, he knew no matter what they did to each other Fury couldn’t lose his one good eye or Steve. They are both too valuable.
“Wait until I tell Pepper about this.” Phil replied and winked.
After a few looks and a wink from Clint Barton the room was emptied except for Phil and Steve.
Steve walked up to him and hugged him close then pulled back enough to look him in the face.
“Are you alright?” Phil asked, it had been Steve that didn’t want to tell everyone yet, he just couldn’t handle the teasing.
“I’m alright, I’m actually a little relieved. Hiding you from everyone was really beginning to bug me.” He replied and Phil smiled fondly before he kissed him softly and quickly on the lips.
“I’m sorry it came out like this.” Phil replied and Steve shrugged.
“Its okay, at least I didn’t have to figure out how to tell them.” Phil smiled softly and kissed him again.
Someone cleared his throat loudly to get their attention, Phil and Steve pulled apart and looked over at Fury whom had his arms crossed.
“We do however, have a rule against Public Displays of Affection.” He said somewhat teasingly but they got the gist anyway.
“Yes sir, sorry sir.” Steve said and looked down.
“Wont happen again sir.” Phil added and Fury shook his head fondly and made his way out of the conference room.
Eventually Phil moved into the Avengers tower with Steve and the Avengers got used to them being a couple. The only time it seemed they were treated any differently was when Steve was seen the next day with that unmistakable glow and Thor thought it was worth pointing out every time.