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Sometimes

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Teresa bolted straight up in bed. Another dream, another sleepless night trying to decipher their meaning. Next to her, Faith stirred, blinking awake. “Another dream?” She murmured. She didn’t look very surprised. She wouldn’t be. Teresa’s dreams (Or nightmares, sometimes they were nightmares, always nightmares) were quite common. Sometimes, she would dream of a place where the sun burned if you stood in it, where death was merciless and long. Other times, she dreamed of grey text that made her cry, why was she crying at a memory that doesn’t exist, red text that made her giggle, cerulean text that brought back bittersweet memories of nights spent dispensing justice, yellow text that reminded her of apples and blueberries and electricity, magenta text that made her cheeks blush teal and her heart leap, that made her body wild with want. Teresa loved (Pitied) Faith with all her heart (Bloodpusher), but sometimes when she looked at her, she saw a grey-skinned girl in her place, a girl with pink goggles and an infectious laugh and sunset horns that curved outwards and who had a mother that was a giant tentacle monster that she had to feed and who was always hungry. She remembered another girl whose mother was always hungry too, but she would feed her mother other children instead of animals. Sometimes, when she looked in the mirror, she couldn’t help but see more grey skin, red glasses, black lips, small pointy horns, sharp teeth that formed a wicked grin. She remembered C4NDY C4NDY R3D; red that was so close to the fuchsia that she loved (PITIED) and cherished. She saw that fuchsia splattered over the walls of a meteor, jade green mixing with it, as well as golden yellow. So much blood, how could blood be these colors? She remembered cradling Faith’s dead body, except it wasn’t Faith, she had a different name. Everyone did. Sometimes Teresa could remember those names. She could remember that she’d once been Terezi Pyrope, instead of Teresa Philips. Sometimes, she would ask Faith (Feferi, her name is Feferi) “Do you ever feel like you’re someone else somewhere else?” And Feferi (Faith) would reply, “Sometimes.”