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Don't Eat the Crab Dip

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Troy’s bent face first against the wall of the shower, half squatting with his forearm holding him stable above his head. The freezing water is streaming awkwardly about his body in his unorthodox position, missing entire portions of his stomach and pattering against his cheekbones harshly before pooling into his half-opened mouth. He spits the water out, and then grits his teeth as he shivers, half with cold, half with the raw energy that’s been coursing through his body all day. He opens his eyes, looks down, and fuck it’s just not going away.

Troy huffs out a frustrated breath, closes his eyes once more, and wills his boner to just stay down. It’s no use though; the closure of his eyes just seems to signal to his brain and his dick that it’s time to get dirty and those thoughts about Abed just come again, one after another, bombarding his frustrated brain like a torpedo penetrating the hull of a submarine. Over and over like a visual mantra, Abed, Abed, Abed. He’s in parts and a whole, his slim fingers and wide palms cupping a basketball, his gentle, beautiful eyes, the long lines of his neck with one bead of sweat dripping slowly down from the tip of his ear to the inside of his shirt; all of them come together to form this unassuming guy and- who does he think he is, making Troy feel this way?

He grunts aggressively, and then freezes as the sound echoes around the bathroom. Troy’s not sure when his dad is coming home, but he’ll have to remember to be quieter so his dad doesn’t hear his son jerking off the minute he walks in the door.

Finally resigned to the fact that he’s going to have to jerk off if he wants to do anything else except for sit down with his legs crossed all day, Troy turns the hot water knob on and waits for the shower to warm up. The change in temperature excites him more, and he wills himself to not squeak as his body adjusts to it.

Troy grabs the liquid bodywash from the shelf beneath his legs, and squirts a dollop into his palm. He rubs his hands together to create suds, breathes out a shuddering breath, and then finally allows himself to cup his dick in his right hand. His left forearm extends once more above his head to rest against the shower wall. He closes his eyes again, and allows the thoughts that have been plaguing him to overtake his mind as he begins to stroke his dick.

The main thing that's been bothering him (he thinks as he settles into a rhythm), is even when Abed’s doing things that make Troy sweat, like playing basketball or watching a really scary movie, he always stays so neat and calm and tidy. Troy’s always expressed himself louder and more than he should; he’s been reprimanded for speaking out of turn and coming to class smelling like gym socks more times than he can count and it’s just not fair that Abed can do all the stuff Troy can without breaking a sweat. Troy’s tried today to faze him with competition but- no dice.

A groan catches in the back of Troy’s throat- what he wouldn’t give to muss up Abed, to prove that he’s dirty and human along with being- god- gorgeous and ethereal.

Troy thumbs the tip of his dick, and smears the pre-cum back over the head. His left palm jerks into a fist as the pleasure makes him hiss through his teeth, and he pumps harder, grips tighter.

Abed would look still so beautiful though, all frazzled and messy. If Troy could do anything he wanted in the whole world (besides, like, getting superpowers or winning a million dollars or meeting Levar Burton), if he could do any realistic thing he would look deep into Abed’s eyes, and instead of spending a whole day just trying to figure out what’s in there (which he’s embarrassed to say he’s already done) he would bypass the mystery and just say,

“Abed. You’re the hottest person I’ve ever met, like, I can’t even stand how hot you are, and we’re alone and I want to have sex with you really badly. I feel like if I don’t, my heart’s gonna burst out of my chest for wanting you so bad. Can we try it?”

And in the end they wouldn’t even make it out of the room because right after Abed would nod his head yes, he’d jump him, hands grasping everywhere, tongue fucking Abed within an inch of his life.

Troy would push him up against the wall of wherever they were after locking the door (because of course it’s a little in public-makes it messier and that’s the point) and he would run his fingers through Abed’s hair while licking messily from his chin to his ear, pull on it while sucking a hickey into the crook of his chin, and not do anything else but kiss fully clothed until Abed would make noise, until Abed would ask for more

In reality, his thrusts are speeding up and becoming more forceful now; any minute Troy’s gonna explode but then he feels like that all the time about other stuff anyway, especially with stuff like this- at least right now it’s a good kind.

Anyway, Abed would ask for more, and Troy’s hands would crawl up his shirt, trailing his nails along his skin underneath it until Abed moaned and told him to take off his clothes. Troy would run his mouth and his tongue over every inch of Abed’s torso, tracing the contours of his abs with his tongue, sucking on his nipples until Abed squeaked and gasped with pleasure- and leaving hickeys everywhere, a connect the dots on his turf, his territory, mine, mine, mine. And Troy would be neat and tidy and clothed, and when Troy tore down Abed’s pants and underwear to reveal the last untouched land, his cock and legs- Abed would be a wreck.

When he put Abed’s dick in his mouth, he would look him right in the eye and suck and lick until Abed came undone, collapsing forward a little and diving into Troy’s arms like an angel fallen from heaven.

Troy comes powerfully with a grunt, spilling all over his hand and the wall opposite to him. He turns towards the spray to rinse off, redirects the water with his hands to clean off the wall, gets out of the shower, and dries off.

His cell phone is sitting on the edge of the sink; it says he has a new message. He wraps his towel around his waist, and flips open his phone. The lone text is from Abed.

“They have a stand where you play darts at the STD fair. It sounds fun. We should do it when you get here, since we’ve been competing all day. It fits our theme really well, I think.”

Troy types back, “haha cant wait 2 beat u”

And Abed replies, nonchalantly of course, “ok” which frustrates Troy all over again.

It’s gonna be a long, hard night at the STD fair.