Anxiously waiting for the first bell, Jonathan sat in his desk waiting for first period to start. He enjoyed his math class because it was simple for him. All he has to do is memorize the formula and use the steps to plug it in. He wished everything could be that way. Jonathan was usually the first or second student to sit down in class. Which was a pretty odd scene because he would sit away from everyone else in the back corner of the class. But he didn’t care, he did not know many people anyways and he kind of liked it that way. They knew him though or mainly they knew what was said about him. His classmates used to say awful things to him along with make up weird rumors about him and his family. They were the endearingly renamed the "fucked up Byers bunch". However, they’ve mostly avoided him since he fought Steve. The only thing that actually bothered him was right now. Sitting and waiting for everyone to come in before the bell. He already finished his homework a week ahead of time and had about fifteen minutes to think. To think about what happened to Will, happens now, and what happened with her. It had been awhile since he had really interacted with Nancy alone.
It’s mid-February and he still beats himself up over Christmas. He said he didn’t get her anything but the truth was he had several different things sitting in his room for her. He still listens to the mix-tape he made for her from time to time. He was so nervous to give them to her, which made him accepting her amazing gift to him even more worse. He had never felt so much spark and emotion from her when her lips pressed against his cheek. All he could do was that excited grin of his and say "Merry Christmas". His heart and stomach physically hurt when he thinks about the times he almost told her how he truly felt about her. Jonathan liked to think maybe things would have ended up a bit different had he confessed.
The night she asked him to sleep on the bed next to her was one of his most favorite moments of his life. Although most of that night was a long silence, when Nancy finally felt comfortable enough to fall asleep, it made Jonathan really happy. He wanted to protect her from everything. If it was anyone that was going to make it through this awful demogorgon bullshit, it would be her. He stayed up all night to ensure her safety. Jonathan was captivated by her lips and the way that she was able to breathe so softly. He would not have been able to sleep even if he tried. There was one moment where she started trembling and whispering “no”. Jonathan gently stroked her hair until her face softened. She had told him she was not able to sleep but she had for a second. When she was stirred awake he quickly closed his eyes so she would not discover how intently he had been looking at her.
Now things seemed to have gone slightly back to as “normal” (as normal as things can be for what all occurred). Nancy still greets him in-between class breaks and stops to ask how he is doing during lunch before sitting with Steve. She even invited him to sit with them but he truly thought it would be too much for him to handle right now. It kind of hurts to watch the girl you have feelings be with somebody else. Despite this, Nancy was still the person he talked the most with at school and considered her a good friend. Being "normal" again has just been a little perplexing for him. Still, each time they talk he still melts into her big puppy-dog eyes and enjoys their a-little-too-long stares. When he does talk with her, Jonathan wishes there was more he could say. Although there was technically more he could say, none of it sounded normal. He wanted to ask her the world. He felt close with her in a now-distant way. He was just too nervous to try start a conversation different than what happened and how Will was doing.
What makes matters worse is his current required readings for his English class. Ironically this month has been about The Great Gatsby. He was feeling like it should be renamed as The Great Jonathan minus all the money, parties, and flappers. Also Steve was no Tom Buchanan. All in all, Jonathan felt okay with how everything is going. Will is back and safe, Nancy seems happy, his mom is happy, and he able to spend quality time with his family. Although Will sometimes does act weird, like he’s having a panic attack in the middle of a conversation. Jonathan somewhat understands his behavior. That week was the scariest week Will had ever had in his life. Back before Jonathan was able to hold himself up so well before his parents split, Jonathan would do the same and shut everyone out. Deep down he knows that’s why he tries to keep everyone afloat now. There’s only a handful of people in this world Jonathan really cares about and he tries to make the best of each day. You never know what could happen tomorrow.