Chapter 1: Meet The Teams
"This is once again Toronto, the capital of North America." The host said, "Birthplace of funk, where yet again, where the albino panther screams through the sky. Now beneath my manly-sized 13 rogues, 50 teams from your favorite franchises of TV shows, video games, cartoons and sports will arrive at this historic train station, ready to once again embark on a race around the world. If you think last season of the Ridonculous Race was any better, this season will get a lot bigger! More contestants, more places and more mayhem than you can shake a stick at! I'm Don, and this is... the ULTIMATE RIDONCULOUS RACE!"
As he shined his teeth, the scene transitioned to a montage of various places and vehicles that the contestants would be traveling with. They got a good look at the taxi that was placed on the screen, and when it opened, showed around 50 pictures of the teams that would be competiting. After that, it transitioned to a title card that read "ULTIMATE RIDONCULOUS RACE" on the front.
After the sequence ended, the scene transitioned to Don himself, who was walking
"Welcome once again to the Ultimate Ridonculous Race, where our 50 teams from across the country are readying themselves to embark on a race to the finish line and not to the death." Don replied. "I don't want anyone dying, otherwise I will get sued big time. Anyway, let's meet half of the 50 teams competing for a chance at the million dollars and a chance at not actually dying."
With the intro done, the scene flashed to the first team sitting on front of the bus. One of them had long purple hair with pink streaks right around the bangs and dressed like a colorful schoolgirl, while the other member had spiky blue hair and dressed in a black jacket with a single white-red line.
"Flash Sentry and Twilight Sparkle from My Little Pony: Equestria Girls, the Secret High School Sweethearts."
"It is so nice to be here competing on the Ridonculous Race," Twilight squealed. "It's always been a dream come true to be on a reality show like this. I hardly ever watched reality shows back at Canterlot, but when I heard about the Ridonculous Race, I had to take a look at it firsthand. Right there, I was immediately hooked. And it's so great we get to be in this season for a chance at a million dollars!"
"Plus, being in this season will definitely get my band much more exposure," Flash replied. "Just so you know, I'm in a band. So if we win that million dollars, I'm gonna use half it to get a new tour bus, instruments and if I have enough cash left on me, I'm gonna even open up a little studio so that me and Flash Drive could record awesome material for our soon-to-be-debut album! If that is if me and Twilight are still alive in one piece."
"Monty Monogram and Vanessa Doofenshmirtz from Phineas and Ferb, the Top Secret Lovebirds." Don replied.
"I'm really psyched about being in this show." Monty smirked. "The best thing about it is, our fathers don't even know what were doing."
"Yeah, you wouldn't believe the story I told my father when I told him I would be going to summer camp." Vanessa smirked as well. "I wish he wouldn't pack me so much bug spray. So Monty, how did you try to get on."
"Oh, I joined the army, all because they had free donuts for service members. But worth it to be here, I guess!" Monty chuckled.
"Heath Burns and Abbey Bominable from Monster High, the High-Schooled Monsters."
"Yeah baby, it really feeeeeels good to be here!" Heath exclaimed, feeling a little anticipated. "I mean, a race around the world? And I'm taking the hottest ghoul in school with me? This is definitely worth it."
"I feel same thing too." Abbey nodded. "I suggested to flame-boy here we be on the show. Of course, if we don't win, I crush nads everywhere."
"Hopefully not mine though, I'm a bit sensitive when it comes to my 'special guys'." Heath gulped.
"Hunter Huntsman and Ashlynn Ella from Ever After High, the 'Rebel' Couple."
"Me and Ashlynn are definitely in it to win." Hunter nodded. "Mostly, Ashlynn would object to some reality shows when a poor animal is killed. But if it's for that million bucks, than we'll try to do whatever that throws our way."
"Yeah, I'm gonna try not to get a little too sensitive whenever we have to harm an animal." Ashlynn nodded right before she started tearing up a bit. "Those poor animals...!"
Seeing her on the brink of tears, Hunter decided to hold her for comfort.
"It's okay, Ashlynn. There's nothing to worry about." Hunter smiled down at her.
Realizing that they were still filming, Hunter decided to close it out by smirking a bit embarrassingly.
"It's just gonna take a little time getting used to..." He smirked.
"Austin Moon and Ally Dawson from Austin & Ally, the Singer-Songwriters!"
"It is so good to be on a reality show quite like the Ridonculous Race," Ally replied. "Most reality shows are just so boring nowadays. But with me and Austin as a team, we're here to prove that were more than just your singing-songwriting team!"
"Totally." Austin nodded. "Our friends Trish and Dez are taking control of the Music Factory until we get back from the game. Hopefully, we'll get back with million dollars on our pockets. It is so gonna rule, I even wrote our victory song! Check it out."
Suddenly, Austin brought out his signature guitar and tried to play a chord, but Ally stopped him.
"Um, Austin, maybe we should wait until we win the entire race..." Ally replied.
"Aw, but I liked the victory song..." Austin groaned.
"Liv and Maddie Rooney from Liv and Maddie, the Twin Sisters!"
"We are stoked to be on the Ridonculous Race!" Liv squealed. "Of course with my acting skills on the hit show Sing It Looooooooud and my new show Voltage, we are sure to be a big hit! Hopefully, I won't break a nail while I'm at it."
"There's nothing to worry about, Liv. We've got the skills to pay the bills." Maddie reassured her. "Of course, if we get to Australia, I wouldn't wait to see Diggie. I bet he's a little homesick around me. But no matter what happens, me and Liv stick to the very end! BAM! WHAT?!"
"Tyler James and Nikki Ortiz from Dog With A Blog, the Long-Distance Couple!"
"Me and Nikki have been waiting for this moment ever since we've gotten back together." Tyler smirked. "When she returned from El Salvador, she got an application, telling me we've just been invited to compete in this season. Talk about a welcome back gift for sure.
"Yeah, I must admit that we've been way too distant from each other for quite a long time now." Nikki nodded. "But now that were on Ridonculous Race, me and Tyler can finally spend time with each other! It's been so long!"
"Awww, it's been so long for me too." Tyler blushed at Nikki.
"I know, right?" Nikki blushed at Tyler.
After seconds of staring into each other's eyes, both Nikki and Tyler decided to share a passionate kiss with each other.
"Alan and Jake Harper from Two and a Half Men, Father and Son."
"I must admit, being on this show with my son is definitely a wonderful experience," Alan replied. "As you may know we haven't been communicating well with each other since Jake here spends time on his iPhone all the time. So I figured that the best way to communicate well to him is that me and Jake compete on this little reality show. He knows how much he loves being on TV."
"Hey dad, are we gonna see boobs?" Jake smirked as he was messing around with his phone.
"What is it with you and boobs?" Alan raised his eyebrow.
"I don't know, I just wanna see boobs." Jake shrugged. "It's the only reason why I came here."
"Kids these days..." Alan rolled his eyes.
"Steve Urkel and Carl Winslow from Family Matters, the Neighbors."
"Being one of Chicago's finest police officers, it is my duty to make sure that no harm gets to us." Carl replied. "As long as Urkel does what I say and listens to me without screwing up, we'll do fine for sure."
"I've known the big guy ever since I fell head-over-heels with her daughter Laura." Urkel replied. "As long as I don't think about her much too often, we'll do great. Because believe me, once they see us butterflies, we're gonna sting them like bees!"
Urkel then got up out of his seat and pull off his excellent footwork while punching...
...only for one his punches to hit the entire camera screen itself, breaking a little bit. Feeling a little embarrassed, Steve turned to Carl with these words:
"Mmm, did I do thaaaaaaat?"
"Al and Peggy Bundy from Married... With Children, Husband and Wife."
"Alllllll, I don't want to be here. It's too drafty." Peg whined, shaking her leg back and forth like always.
"Sorry Peg, drafty is what drafty gets." Al groaned. "Look, we're not gonna rant out our thoughts on this competition. But with one major exception: When we do win, I'm keeping all of it, Peg! That means, you're not spending the winning money on bon-bons and plates with Oprah's face on them! I won $500 bucks last time at a raffle and you spent it all on 17 cans of bulky tampons! It's not happening this time, Peg!"
"But Allllllll, I want some tampons so that I won't have to leak between my leeeeegs!" Peg whined again.
All of her whining ended up making Al having to fake-hang himself out of his misery.
"Ryu and Ken from Street Fighter, the Karate Rivals."
"This is gonna be quite the test for me." Ryu replied. "We've never been on a reality show before, mostly because we're too busy competing in Street Fighter tournaments."
"But now that we're on Ridonculous Race, we're gonna show the whole world what Ryu and Ken are made of!" Ken exclaimed. "And if you're asking ladies, I'm already taken and off the market. But Ryu's single to mingle!"
"Um, I'm not sure I wanna date anyone yet..." Ryu said, blushing a little in shame.
"Nonsense, you'll be a big hit with the ladies!" Ken exclaimed. "Just this morning, I put your underwear up on eBay with your name on them!"
"YOU DID WHAT?!" Ryu reacted in shock.
"Mario and Luigi from Super Mario Bros., the Plumbers."
"It is a-great to be here!" Mario exclaimed. "Me and my brother have always faced the tightest of challenges such as beating a-Bowser and saving the Princess Peach! I know this is one challenge me and Luigi plan to conquer, don't you think?"
"You got that right, my brother!" Luigi nodded. "Whether we're race-car drivers, doctors or athletes of any sport, we got this in the bag!"
In exchange, both Mario and Luigi fist-bumped each other.
"Dolph Ziggler and Lana from the WWE, the Blondes."
"Me and Lana have been pretty tight for nearly two months now," Ziggler smirked. "We're just high on our tails, trying to get away from that brute Rusev and that commie lover known as Summer Rae. They're like annoying gnats for sure. But regardless, me and Lana came here to do two things in Ridonculous Race, and that's: Show. Off."
"He loves to steal the show everytime, it's what I like about him." Lana nodded to the camera.
However, her eye started to twitch a little.
"But whenever I ever think about that hussy Summer Rae, I just wanna smack the rest of her lipstick loose!" Lana snapped a little. "I'm pretty certain she's got those babies strapped to her like fake lips."
"Don't you just love that, folks? Lana's just one big firecracker!" Dolph smirked again to the camera.
"Joey Wheeler and Mai Valentine from Yu-Gi-Oh, the Duelists!"
"Aw yeah, Joey Wheeler's back in the saddle again, baby!" Joey cheered for himself. "I wanna say shout-out to Yug, Tea, Tristan, Duke, Bakura, and my good sis, Serenity! Wait for me, sis! Joey's coming home with all the moolah, baby!"
"Joey, you do realize you won't be getting all the money, right?" Mai sighed. "Believe it or not, I may want some of the cash too. So that means I'm actually getting half and you're getting half. Sounds simple, huh?"
Hearing this, Joey stopped celebrating and cleared his throat.
"Oh, um, I knew that Mai..." Joey chuckled. "Just got caught up in the moment, that's all."
"Heh, you always do, Joey." Mai chuckled back.
"Angry Video Game Nerd and the Nostalgia Critic, the Angry Critics."
"I don't know what the f**k I'm doing there." The Nerd scowled. "I'd rather play Hong Kong 97 with my underwear wrapped around my neck than to be on this awful piece of goats**t. I rather have a one-night-stand with Sasquatchanakwa than to play this horrid piece of s**t wrapped in bacon. But if it's worth the million dollars, than I'm gonna strap on my f***ing Power Glove, because it's about to get totally bumpy from here."
"I agree with you on that, nardbucket." The Critic nodded. "Those teams are like gonna be Owen's poopy ass in Total Drama Island and my nose, completely wiped out!"
"Yeah, that was a horrible poop joke there." The Nerd cringed.
"Sorry, I tried there." The Critic shrugged.
"Leonard Hofstadter and Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory, the Scientists."
"I'm very excited to be on this show." Leonard smiled. "I know Penny couldn't come along since since she's already sick, but I'm still excited. As long as Sheldon doesn't bark orders like a skinny anorexic Hitler, we'll do just-"
"Leonard, I wanna switch seats! This seat's too cold!" Sheldon complained.
"For the last time, Sheldon, you're not getting the warm seat!" Leonard exclaimed. "Stick to what you've got!"
"Wow, you're a cranky bird, that's for sure." Sheldon scowled at Leonard, therefore remaining in his seat.
"Xander and Emma Ross from Bunk'd, the Camp Counselors."
"This is so great and so awesome! Me and Emma are way skilled when it comes to handling kids at a summer camp." Xander smirked.
"Yeah, especially when we have to pick up their snot on the floor." Emma nodded. "Then, it gets ugly from here."
"Believe me, we saw a big kid sneezed so loud, one of the snot nuggets looked too much like Hazel." Xander reminded everybody. "I think it got the hair right, that's for sure."
"Yeah. Rule number one at Camp Kikiwaka: Stay away from Hazel." Emma reminded everyone as well.
"Stewie Griffin & Brian Griffin from Family Guy, the Talking Baby and Dog."
Brian was shown drinking one of his usual Martini's while Stewie looked so excited.
"Oh my-lanta! It is sooooo amazing to be on the Ridonculous Race!" Stewie exclaimed. "I have never been on a reality show before, let alone a real show before. Who knows? Maybe I was, I can't tell for sure. But how great would it be to win those million dollars! With that kind of money, I can build that fantastic greenhouse I've been wanting to build for quite some time now! Isn't that right, Brian?"
Not even listening to what Stewie was saying, Brian finished his drink and turned to the left.
"Can I get another glass here? This raspberry-flavored martini is amazing." Brian replied.
"See? He's excited already!" Stewie exclaimed to the camera.
"Red and Kitty Forman from That 70's Show, the 70's Couple."
"I don't know what I got myself into." Red sighed. "Having to deal with fifty-nine other dumbasses? It's like living next to multiplied Bobs."
"Oh, he's just kidding, folks!" Kitty smiled to the camera. "Just so you know, he's just happy-happy-happy to be here! Of course, Red's always has to be careful of his heart. He tends to get a little cranky if he doesn't get his heart medicine. But like I said, we're happy to get this once-in-a-lifetime chance."
"I'm hungry. Are there donuts around here?" Red said, looking around.
"You just wait until we're finished!" Kitty snapped at her husband.
"Geoff and Bridgette from Total Drama, the Surfing Couple."
"WHOO-HOO!" Geoff hollered out. "Man, it is so choice to be back once again! Yeah, I know Brody won't be there this time around, but it's awesome that my girl Bridge is here with me this time! It's been a long time coming!"
"I know! Competing without you is totally driving me crazy!" Bridgette sighed. "But at least this time, we'll finally be able to focus on the competition for once. Last time we've competed in a season together, we got voted off of Total Drama Action. But no more distractions! This time, we're going all the way! Right, Geoff?"
"You know it, babe!" Geoff nodded in unison.
And then out of nowhere, Geoff and Bridgette went at it like wild dogs, making out like crazy.
"Bart Simpson and Milhouse Van Houten from The Simpsons, Best Friends."
"Yeah, it's very good here to be here, man." Bart said, looking a little laid back. "I've totally watched reality shows like these before, and let me tell ya, it's gonna be a piece of cake!"
"Hopefully, it would be nice if we weren't the first ones to go home," Milhouse nodded. "I don't think I can ever take being voted off first. Because then, I'd cry and you know how I hate being allergic to my tears! But I'm willing to do my best regardless."
Sighing in front of Milhouse, Bart looked back to the camera with such grim revelation.
"I'll tell ya, we don't have a chance." Bart replied.
"Ed & Rolf from Ed, Edd n Eddy, the Nincompoop & Shepard."
Before Rolf could talk, Ed starts to butt in.
"It is great to be here, TV land!" Ed shouted out. "I like to thank my friends, my baby sister, gravy, chickens and my lucky cheese, Sheldon! Ed misses you so much my-"
"Nincompoop, who's talking here?" Rolf said in a threatening tone.
"I forget." Ed shrugged.
"Of course you forget, Ed Boy!" Rolf groaned. "We are forgetting who's the real leader of the team! As long as you listen to everything Rolf says, there won't be any trouble."
"Gotcha!" Ed said with a salute.
Unfortunately, Rolf got cut off as the camera switched to another team.
"Philip J. Fry and Bender Rodriguez from Futurama, the Delivery Men."
"Why in the hell did I have to agree with you?" Bender said to Fry.
"C'mon, it wouldn't be that bad." Fry smirked before turning to the camera. "Sorry about that. Bender's a little offy because he was drawn the short straw of who would be my partner in the Ridonculous Race."
"I'm gonna hate this show!" Bender exclaimed. "The girls are so butt-ugly."
"There are actually some hot girls in this thing, Bender." Fry informed him.
"There better be or else someone's gonna start biting my shiny metal ass!" Bender exclaimed.
"Well, I know who's got his teeth sharpened right now..." Fry rolled his eyes and sighed.
"Lindy and Logan Watson from I Didn't Do It, the Sister-Brother Twins."
Lindy was sitting down with confidence beaming on her face while Logan looked bored, crunching on some Doritos.
"I feel so great about this!" Lindy exclaimed. "Me and Logan have been training non-stop for this moment. We have been watching every episode of Ridonculous Race non-stop and we've been watching every move and taking notes! So far, we got an awesome shot of winning this! Don't we, Logan?"
With his mouth still full, Logan spoke to the camera with a smile.
"I farted on Lindy's cereal when he wasn't looking." He smirked.
"Huh, I thought so." Lindy groaned.
Suddenly, Lindy ended up grabbing a bucket from off-screen and puked inside it non-stop.
"Kurt Wagner and Kitty Pryde, aka Nightcrawler and Shadowcat from X-Men Evolution, the Mutants."
"It was so sweet for Kurt to compete with me on this show." Kitty replied. "I had a tough time asking everyone of my friends in Xavier's School of Gifted Mutants if they would team with me, but they were way too busy handing some dangerous tasks. Luckily, Kurt managed to jump on the bandwagon in time and here we are!"
"Yeah, Keety is always a sveetheart." Kurt winked. "She's always willing to help out a hand, vhenever she needs it the most. We gotta make sure our identities don't get exposed, unless it is very necessary! Just one little haywire coming from my watch and then - BOOM! - trouble in up the river city!"
"Sounds good," Kitty nodded, "Better off having to smell eggs every time you BAMF like that."
"Jake 'Razor' Clawson and Chance 'T-Bone' Furlong, the SWAT Kats!"
"We've been waiting for this moment quite some time." Razor replied. "Sure, it's less dangerous than the most risky missions we'd ever face as the SWAT Kats, but it's still a challenge nonetheless, so I'm ready and willing to go all the way buddy!"
"Same here, man!" T-Bone nodded. "So far, Callie's hired some other heroes to look over MegaKat City before we get back. But when this whole thing is over, we're coming back a million dollars richer complete with a hero's welcome!"
"That is if Commander Feral doesn't get our hands on the money himself." Razor replied again.
"I'd love to see him try it!" T-Bone chuckled delightly.
"Throttle and Vinnie, the Biker Mice From Mars."
"Yeah, we all know it isn't the same without Modo with us, but I know he's watching the small screen with a smile, seeing us take home the million dollars in Ridonculous Race!" Throttle exclaimed.
"I'll tell ya, it's all about the bikes and bros, my man!" Vinnie exclaimed as well. "And when the first thing that buzzer starts, we're about to take in one major skidmark, running those poor suckers over!"
"Totally!" Throttle exclaimed. "It's time to rock... and ride!"
And it all ended with a respective fist bump to each other.
"Angry Grandpa and Pickleboy, the Angry Father & Fat Son."
"Me and dad are so stoked to be in this competition!" Pickleboy replied. "This is something different that we're doing to our fans, so all of you 'young'uns' get behind Angry-"
"WHAT THE HELL YOU F***IN' TALKIN ABOUT, MICHAEL?!" Angry Grandpa yelled. "ONLY I SAY 'YOUNG'UNS', YA FAT MOTHER F***ER! WHAT'S YOUR G****MN PROBLEM, YOU G****MN SON OF A BITCH! JUST TO YET YOU KNOW, I'M THE F***ING LEADER! WHAT ANGRY GRANDPA SAYS, ANGRY GRANDPA GOES!"
"Do you have to yell so loud?!" Pickleboy said, plugging his ears tightly.
"I YELL WHATEVER THE F**K I WANT, G****MN IT!" Angry Grandpa yelled. "THIS IS A F***ING FAMILY SHOW, MICHAEL! WE CUSS HOW WE WANT!"
"You know, maybe I would have teamed with Paul Heyman instead!" Pickleboy snapped back.
"Batman and Robin, the Dark Knights."
"This is bound to be a deathtrap, one of Joker's tricks I can tell." Batman replied.
"Um, Batman, you do realize it isn't a trap, right?" Robin spoke back.
"Of course, that's what they want you to think." Batman replied. "THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO THINK, ROBIN! But no matter. I'll play their little game. And when it's all said and done, it's back to the Arkham Asylum for sure."
Weirded out by Batman's sudden behavior, Robin looked over to the camera.
"Sorry about him, he's just being a little psycho today..." Robin replied.
"Applejack and Big MacIntosh from My Little Pony: Equestria Girls, the Country Folk."
"YEE-HAW!" Applejack shouted in victory. "How do you do, people of television land, this is Applejack here alongside my big brother Big MacIntosh! We're here representing the Sweet Apple Acres, the home of some of the greatest apple cider the world have ever laid eyes on! Got that right, Big Mac?"
"Eeyup!" Big Mac nodded.
"Tell it like it is, Big Mac!" Applejack exclaimed. "We here to take Ridonculous Race by storm, and every apple is gettin' knocked down their appletree. Trust us, we'll hogtie this competition like pigs! Ain't that right, Big Mac?"
"Eeyup!" Big Mac nodded again.
"Mike Biggs and Carl McMillan from Mike & Molly, the Policemen."
"It's really a pleasure to be here, everyone." Mike nodded. "Yeah, I'm a bit bummed since Molly couldn't compete on the show with me. We would have dominated them to the core. But regardless, my best friend Carl with me always knows he's got my back."
"Got that right, Mike." Carl nodded. "We've been training non-stop for a few weeks now. It wouldn't been several weeks if Mike hadn't gotten his hands on that meatball hero that I wanted. But regardless, we're gonna take it all the way! HI MOM!"
"Beavis and Butt-Head, the Bums."
"Huhuhuhuhuh, like uh... we're glad to be on this show, huhuhuhuhuhuh..." Butt-Head laughed.
"Yeah, we're definitely gonna score this time! Hehehehehehehehehe..." Beavis laughed as well.
"Uh, if we win the money, we're gonna buy nachos. Huhuhuhuhuhuhuh..." Butt-Head laughed again.
"Yeah, nachos rule! Hehehehehehehehe..." Beavis laughed again.
They ended up spending the rest of this confessional laughing.
"Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy from My Little Pony, Ponyville's Fan Favorites!"
"Weeeeee! It feels sooooo good to be here!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed. "I wanna thank everyone for helping us get where we are right now! My friends Twilight, Dashie, Princess Celestia, Rarity, and Gummy! I miss you, Gummy!"
Feeling a little shy, Fluttershy managed to speak up a little.
"Hi, my name's Fluttershy..." The yellow pegasus said weakly. "I don't know if this is such a good idea. I mean, I know I don't want to get hurt too much, but I promise never to give up and do my best."
"Aw, come on Flutters, best isn't enough for the both of us!" Pinkie said, hugging Fluttershy tightly. "We wanna win that million dollars so that we can spend it on a party! And I'm buying the drinks!"
"Oh boy..." Fluttershy gulped.
"Phineas and Ferb, the Brothers."
"It's so great to be on the Ridonculous Race!" Phineas exclaimed. "We're so excited, even Ferb here is speechless!"
Phineas than looked back to Ferb as he gave the thumbs up!
"Look at that, even he isn't used to talking this much!"
"Porter Geiss and Spectra Vondergeist from Monster High, the Ghosts."
"As many of you know, I am the school editor of Monster High's most famous newspaper, the Ghostly Gossip!" Spectra exclaimed. "So it is my duty to make sure we get all of the pictures containing our experiences and journeys while reaching for that million dollar prize!"
"Yeah, plus I can display all my awesome art around the world." Porter nodded while spinning a can of spray paint in his hand. "I always wondered what the Eiffel Tower would look like painted neon."
"Hopefully we won't get busted for that..." Spectra rolled her eyes.
"Daring Charming and Apple White from Ever After High, The Royal Couple."
"I feel so delighted that were on a TV show!" Apple exclaimed with excitement. "It gives us a lot extra publicity for us to show everyone the future king and queen in the land of Ever After!"
"I agree with you there, Apple!" Daring exclaimed. "I'm so excited, even my shiny white teeth is so happy to be here. Check these babies out!"
Suddenly, Daring flashed his smile...
...only for the camera to fall down, which would explain why the cameraman was blinded.
"See that Apple, I knew I'd knock 'em out!" Daring smirked.
"Karl Fink and Heather from Dog with a Blog, The Snobby Couple."
"Ugh, it feels so drafty in here! When is the AC guy coming?" Karl cringed in disgust. "Anyway, me and Heather couldn't be more happy to be here. I knew after my breakup with my girlfriend Max, Heather was the only one for me! She's so sweet as Mother's jockstrap washed in fresh linen. And she's only a woman!"
"Thanks for the compliment, babe." Heather smirked in front of Carl. "I'm so glad Avery and her dog are not here around me. It's just like this show, it's host and these annoying gnats we have to face just to get to the top: Grrrrrrrrossss..."
"I highly concur, my angel." Karl nodded.
"Mojo Rawley and Zack Ryder from WWE NXT, The Hype Bros.
"We've took over on WWE NXT, and this time, we're gonna take over the Ridonculous Race!" Zack Ryder replied. "With the Long Island Iced Z and the Hype Man with me by my side, we're gonna Woo Woo Woo all over their faces!"
"Aaaaaaaw, that's right man!" Mojo said, feeling a little pumped. "No matter what they throw our way, no matter what stands before us, we, The Hype Bros are walking away Ridonculous Race, $1,000,000 baby! Like we said, we don't get hyped, he stay hyped!"
"You know it." Zack smirked.
"Jeff and Matt Hardy from Impact Wrestling, The Hardys."
"Me and my brother Jeff have been through hell before." Matt replied. "Whether it's tables, ladders, or chairs just to capture championship gold, we've always found a way to win. The Ridonculous Race is gonna be a lot more different since there's 65 teams besides us. But we're gonna make sure Team Extreme comes out on top!"
"Creatures of the Night!" Jeff shouted out as if he was cutting a promo. "You are here to witness history as me and my brother take every one of these teams to the extreme! You can bring your daughters, your sons, your grandpa, grandma, the president, or the entire world itself and we're all gonna make it extreme! Team Hardys for life!"
And then, they both ended their confessional with the Team Hardy hand-gun hand signal.
"Alejandro and Heather from Total Drama, The Evil Couple."
"These poor pathetic chihuahuas won't even know what's gonna hit them!" Alejandro exclaimed, holding Heather around his arm. "Me and Heather have been skilled at competitions like these. Even when those imitators take a look at us, they already running for cover. Because they know they don't want a piece of us villains."
"I agree." Heather nodded. "If the show was smart enough, they would just give the million dollars to us already. That way they could spare the pain that we're gonna give to those loser teams who go up against us. Believe us, we're unstoppable."
"I couldn't agree more, mi amor." Alejandro said, caressing her face.
"You know it." Heather nodded.
And suddenly, it all ended with a kiss between the two.
"George Costanza & Cosmo Kramer from Seinfeld, Seinfeld's Friends."
"Wow, I'm a bit nervous." George replied. "I mean, I've actually never been in a reality show before, that of course if you count me being on Taxicab Confessions. I tell ya, I was so embarrassed, I had to hide under the bed for an entire week."
"Relax, nothing that revealing is gonna happen. It was just one little moment of shame, no one's gonna remember it." Kramer said, comforting him a little.
"Oh, like you would bring that up!" George snapped at him, therefore forming a little bit of tears.
"Shelby Marcus and Cyd Ripley from Best Friends Whenever, The Time-Travelers."
"I'll tell ya, Shelby. This is exactly the vacation we needed." Cyd sighed. "I mean, having to be away from Chet and Bret is definitely what we wanted."
"Yeah, except we're on a reality show and not on vacation," Shelby replied to her. "But regardless that million dollars is ours. If that is we don't accidentally travel back in time."
"I'm pretty sure it's a good chance that'll happen." Cyd nodded.
"Dan and Roseanne Conner from Roseanne, The Blue-Collar Couple!"
"Me and my wife have been waiting for this moment for quite some time." Dan said with confidence. "All of the training and milkshake downing definitely paid us off. Me and my wives now have bodies that can put Brangelina to shame."
"That's right, Dan!" Roseanne exclaimed as she was flexing her arm. "Brangelina doesn't even come close to what we got! When they take look at these guns, those teams better start running for the arms. It's about the guns and the buns, Dan!"
"Drake Parker and Josh Nichols from Drake & Josh, The Step-Brothers."
"I feel so relieved that we're here on the Ridonculous Race!" Josh exclaimed. "It's way better than staying at home with... Megan."
"Trust me, that girl is waaaaay more trouble than you think. At least she isn't in this season." Drake nodded as he was strumming on his guitar
"Yeah, it's just only 66 teams, including us." Josh nodded.
"And none of them Megan." Drake sighed in relief.
"You're asking me." Josh muttered.
"Fox McCloud and Falco Lombardi from StarFox, The Space Pilots."
"Me and Fox have handled some serious stuff before in our lives." Falco replied, crossing his arms like a boss. "We've took care of that big goof Andross, and we've stood toe to toe with that Wolf O'Donnell dude, but being in this competition is way more dangerous than our missions. This is for a frickin' million dollars! I'm ready for the million!"
"Totally, my man." Fox nodded. "I don't know what's gonna come our way, but regardless, we're gonna come out on top? Right, buddy?"
As Fox began patting him in the sleeve, Falco started telling him off.
"Hey, hands off my thread!" Falco exclaimed.
"Star Butterfly and Marco Diaz from Star vs. The Forces of Evil, The Princess and Marco."
"Hi, everyone from Mewnie!" Star shouted out. "It's Star Butterfly here! It's so wonderful to get this opportunity in a lifetime with Marco! We're so gonna rock this course!"
"Yeah, I even packed extra underwear just in case I don't wet myself from those excruciating airplane rides." Marco insisted.
Star ended up looking at him strangely from that statement.
"Not that I don't necessarily wet myself..." Marco chuckled oddly.
"Sonic and Knuckles, the Hedgehog and Echidna."
"Sonic's the name, and speed's my game!" Sonic exclaimed to the camera. "I'll tell ya, it's gonna be a piece of cake for sure! There ain't no obstacle this speedster can't clear!"
"What if you have to swim in water?" Knuckles smirked.
Hearing this from Knuckles, Sonic yelped and started rolling himself into a ball in total fear.
"Water... s-s-stay away from me!" The hedgehog's teeth chattered.
"Yeah, it looks like I'll have to help him out a little." Knuckles groaned to the camera.
"Homer Simpson and Marge Simpson, The Simpsons!"
"Homie's a professional at shows like this." Marge replied. "Last time he won something, he was on Wheel of Fortune where he won only $50,000 by only solving the word 'Donut'. Just thinking about it, he spended every last dime on every donut around the New York area. They all went bankrupt the first thing Homie had left them donut shops. He should've used it to get me that amazing platinum pearl necklace I wanted. Hopefully, Homie learned his lesson. And with the million bucks that we'll win, he'll stay true to his promise. Right, Homie?"
Marge looked over to Homer, who was nodding off in his sleep.
"Mmmmm, make me donuts, Marge." Homer mumbled.
"Hopefully, he'll get the point sooner or later." Marge pointed out.
"Johnny Mundo and Melina from Lucha Underground, The Hollywood Couple."
"Let me tell ya, working at Hollywood and in the wrestling ring at the same time has totally taken a toll on my precious body." Johnny groaned. "Sometimes, you gotta try something different. There's a whole new world for Johnny Mundo to explore, and for the rest of the teams we'll be facing, it'll be Fin Del Mundo for them!"
"Totally, those teams won't even know what to expect from us!" Melina nodded.
After they were done with their statement, the duo began to look at themselves through their respective mirrors. The two didn't even know the camera was still filming them, so they decided to tell them off.
"Can you give us some privacy, please?" Melina groaned at the camera.
"Rusev and Summer Rae from the WWE, the Beast and Beauty."
"I have come here to the Ridonculous Race just to crush Dolph Ziggler!" Rusev growled to the camera. "He's ruined my life and my relationship with Lana! I might not be able to do it in the ring, but when the time comes, I'll crush them out of this competition!"
"You tell them, Rusev!" Summer Rae nodded. "Lana thinks I stole her look? As if. Their puppy love makes me sick to my stomach. I can't wait to knock her and him down. They totally deserve it."
"That's the reason why I like you, Summer! We only hate!" Rusev smiled at Summer.
"I couldn't agree more..." Summer smirked.
Their confessional ended with Rusev kissed her right by the hand.
"Deadpool and Domino, Heroes For Hire."
"My fellow Americans, I the president of all things awesome hereby declare that on this day forward, the holiday of 'Ass-Kickintines Day' has begun!" Deadpool said, going into his random rants. "That's right, people. They have spoken and heard us with deep solidarity! Nothing but beatdowns, pizza and beer all over! It's gonna be America for sure!"
"Um, what in the heck are you taking about?" Domino raised her eyebrow at him.
"The fact that I'm wishing to bang every girl on this show." Deadpool smirked.
"That doesn't even make sense..." Domino groaned.
"It does on Planet Zorb!" Deadpool exclaimed.
"I don't know why I ever came here..." Domino groaned again, looking the other way.
"Dante and Trish from Devil May Cry, The Devil Hunters."
"Yeah, kicking all of them baddie butts twenty-four seven definitely let me unsatisfied, so I figured a little vacay was in order," Dante smirked. "Plus, I can't wait to scope out some chicks."
"I think there would hardly be any time for those," Trish reminded him. "This is a race for us to win, not somewhere we can slack off."
"Eh, it was worth it, nonetheless." Dante shrugged it off.
"Wolverine and Gambit, The X-Men."
Wolverine was busy sharpening up his claws, while Gambit was playing with cards just to pass the time.
"Yeah, it's nice to be here," Wolverine groaned. "I don't know how I got into this crap, but whatever what happens, let's just get this over with."
"I hereby declare, fo' sure." Gambit nodded. "The cards are on our table, and sooner or later, we're gonna hit jackpot."
"Yeah, whatever." Wolverine rolled his eyes.
"Joey and Parker Rooney from Liv and Maddie, Brothers 2.0."
"I've been so excited for this moment." Joey smiled in confidence. "I'm so excited since Liv and Maddie are in this show, and as long as he lure them into an alliance, we'll definitely rock this course non-stop."
"I don't even know if we can ask them for an alliance." Parker shrugged. "The next thing we know, we'll have an alliance with them and then, they're gonna vote us early out of the competition. It's too risky."
"You're right." Joey said, pushing his idea out of the window.
This left both Joey and Parker thinking on what to do for the entire competition. After several seconds, Joey thought up an idea.
"Did you pack any steroids? We can use those." Joey replied.
"Steven Hyde and Michael Kelso from That 70's Show, the Dopers."
The entire confessional was filled with pot smoke as Hyde and Kelso appeared baked.
"Um, I forgot what we were talking about." Hyde smirked.
"I think maybe we we're talking about a monkey." Kelso smirked. "They like to throw poo."
"I don't know." Hyde shrugged. "Weren't we supposed to talk about the competition?"
"Don't ask me, man. I was still thinking about poop-throwing primates." Kelso shrugged.
"Heh, me too." Hyde laughed.
"Will 'The Fresh Prince' Smith and Carlton Banks from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, the Cousins."
"Whaddap?!" Will shouted out. "Hey, this is Will and Carlton here saying what's up to all my friends and Philly and to Uncle Phil, Aunt Viv, Hilary, Ashley and Jazz in Bel-Air. We're gonna bring that money home and bring the party down! It's gonna get real all up in here."
"Just don't get too excited, Will." Carlton said, calming him down.
"Awww, are you a bit bummed that I accidentally used your boxers to clean the toilets?" Will replied.
"Okay, I did not need to know about that..." Carlton gulped in embarrassment.
"Spongebob Squarepants and Patrick Star, The Sea Creatures."
"WHOO-HOO! I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS, PATRICK!" SpongeBob nodded. "I never felt this excited since Gary went to the bathroom for the first time! It'll also be like the time that you and I met! Are you ready, Patrick?"
Looking close at the camera, Patrick decided to become stupid like always.
"I like marshmallows." Patrick smirked.
"See that, folks? Patrick's ready! WHOO-HOO!" Spongebob shouted out in victory.
"Bubba Ray Dudley and D-Von Dudley from the WWE, The Dudley Boyz"
"Do you know who we are?" Bubba Ray said to the camera. "We are the Dudley Boys and we are here to take over the frickin Ridonculous Race. 65 teams means 65 tables to break! I'll tell ya, we're here to take this show to the Extreme, and 'take it to the extreme' we're gonna do!"
"Oh, my brother... TESTIFY!" D-Von shouted.
"Raphael and Casey Jones from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Skilled Ninjas."
"Oh, this is gonna be something else, I concur." Raphael said, rubbing his hands in anticipation. "All 65 teams, besides us by course, all chasing down the brass ring until it comes down to that moment of truth. Casey and I have this right in the bag."
"Yeah, that is if the Foot Clan ever comes in and get involved," Casey replied. "Because if I find out they do..."
Suddenly, Casey put on his signature hockey mask in store.
"...It's go time." He finished.
"You totally got that right!" Raphael nodded.
"Alberto El Patron and Rey Mysterio from Lucha Underground, the Pride of Mexico."
"We have showcased our talents everywhere around the world from WWE to AAA to even Lucha Underground." Alberto replied. "Now we finally get our chance to show our lucha libre talent throughout the world. With the Ridonculous Race, we'll show them why!"
"Being around the wrestling business for nearly three decades, I know what we're expecting." Rey nodded. "We're gonna see a lot of backstabbing, a lot of betrayal, and a lot of teams ganging up on us. We're gonna make sure we're smart on who to choose for alliances, and scout on who'll be worthy of facing us for that final million dollar prize. Whoever we face, we're gonna give it all that we got!"
"Viva La Mexico!" Alberto shouted out in glory.
"AJ Styles and Shelton Benjamin from Ring of Honor, the technicalists."
"I'm excited for this 100%." AJ replied. "I've entertained everyone with my high-flying ability while racking up every title I have been collecting around the world. With a million dollars on the line, this is a title I plan to win."
"You do realize I'd be winning it too, right?" Shelton raised his eyebrow.
"Yeah, I mean that too." A.J. nodded to him.
"Good." Shelton nodded back.
While he was turning the other way, AJ started whispering to the camera:
"I lied, I'm keeping the money all to myself..."
"Edd and Eddy from Ed, Edd N Eddy, the Sock-head & Scammer."
"Double D, can you believe this? A million dollars are on the line!" Eddy said with a hungry smile. "You know how many jawbreakers we can get with that kind of cash."
"Well, a million, Eddy." Edd answered with confidence.
"Totally!" Eddy nodded. "We're totally gonna be in the money!"
While Eddy looked a little crazed, Edd (just like AJ Styles) whispered over to the camera.
"Only if his ego doesn't get in the way..." Edd mumbled.
"Howard Wolowitz and Rajesh Koothrappali from The Big Bang Theory, Best Friends 2.0."
"Yeah, I'm a bit bummed that Bernadette couldn't compete with me on the Ridonculous Race, we would've been good together." Howard sighed. "But it's nice that Raj decided to team up with me. We've been so inseparable, we never actually been separated. I totally think we're gonna dominate."
"I agree with you, my friend." Raj nodded to his friend. "Did your mommy pack you special underwear?"
However, a face of grief appeared around Howard's face, yet remained calm.
"Um, Raj, you do realize my mother's dead, right?" Howard raised an eyebrow.
"Wow," Raj groaned. "I really gotta stop drinking so much..."
"Reese and Dewey Wilkerson from Malcolm in the Middle, Brothers 3.0."
"We've been watching reality shows for the rest of our lives, mostly we're they team up." Reese commented. "So as long as Dewey doesn't become distracted and doesn't make us lose, we wouldn't have a problem."
"Hey, I do not always get distracted that much!" Dewey exclaimed.
"Really?" Reese groaned as he looked over Dewey's shoulder. "What's that over there?"
"All right, free donuts!" Dewey exclaimed as he left the set.
"See what I mean?" Reese said to the camera.
"Robert Freeman and Uncle Ruckus from The Boondocks, The Angry Black Men."
For the remainder of the confession, Uncle Ruckus talked to the camera the same time his signature tuba music was playing in the background.
"It always feels right to see the reality show people accept a white man, trapped in a black man's body." Uncle Ruckus smirked. "It makes me feel so happy on the inside. I always enjoy the white man always being successful on reality shows, while every blackie on Earth always has to remain on the line. I hope they stay that way for good. No offense, Robert."
"None taken, my good man." Robert nodded. "I hope I can keep Uncle Ruckus out of trouble. Whenever he sees a black man, he go racist."
"And our last team to show up, Cody and LeShawna, the Reality TV Pros!"
"Being on Total Drama for so many years, I can't believe how much I missed competing." LeShawna replied. "I've been through log-rolling bears, psycho killers, and not to mention Chris. But this is a whole different playing field now. And with Cody on my side, there ain't no one stoppin' us now!"
"Yeah, at least Sierra's not in there this time." Cody nodded in relief. "That girl just isn't right. At one time, she stole one of my strawberry-flavored soap and made a life-size carving of my head! She even imagined I was washing her! I feel a little scarred."
"We've all been there, Cody." LeShawna said, patting Cody in the arm.
One at a time, all 66 teams had shown up to the train station, where the host was still standing.
"Welcome, contestants to the Ultimate Ridonculous Race!" Don exclaimed. "This is the starting line for your 66-part race around the world."
"Yeah, well, f**k you too!" Angry Grandpa shouted at him.
"Thanks, I needed that." Don rolled his eyes. "Anyway, before I was rudely interrupted by an annoying old fart, each parts ends at a chill zone. Get there fast, because the last team to stand on the Carpet of Completion may be cut from the competition.
Suddenly, gasps began to fill through the teams.
"But the first team to reach our last chill zone, will win one million dollars!" Don exclaimed.
Right there, all gasps turned to screams of joy in an instant.
While they were celebrating, all the teams soon caught Don's attention as the host stood next to a small podium. The podium of course, looked exactly like him in every way.
"Look over here. This is our Ridonculous Top Box, also known as the Don Box." Don explained. "Press this button to get the travel tips that will lead you through the Ridonculous Race. Ready, teams?"
Hearing this, the teams all took in their usual three-point stance. It was all a matter of time before those feet start running like bulls for sure.
"On your marks...
Like a herd of wild animals, all of the 66 teams took off, which forced Don to duck and cover once again.
"Oh no, not this again!" Don exclaimed in panic. "Please, anything but my face again!"
It was too late. His cries didn't help much as he was knocked out for the moment.
"Okay, I'm so totally getting forcefield next time." Don muttered.
Out of nowhere, Stewie came running back and dug into Don's pocket. From there, the talking baby opened up the wallet and pulled out a $20, keeping it for himself.
"Finders keepers, losers motherf****ng weepers." Stewie said, hitting Don with the wallet and running off.
To be continued next chapter...
Chapter 2: The Race Begins, Part 1
I do not own Total Drama, The Ridonculous Race or any of it's characters. Total Drama, The Ridonculous Race, and all of its characters are owned by Fresh TV, Jennifer Pertsch and Tom McGillis. I also do not own anything associated with WWE, Hasbro, Mattel, Universal Pictures, Nickelodeon, Disney, Marvel, DC Comics, FOX, Cartoon Network, Adult Swim, Nintendo, Capcom, YouTube, MTV, Hanna-Barbera, Konami and such.
The entire 66 teams were racing over to the Don Box to find out which team would make it first this time.
The first team to make over the Don Box was...
...the Reality TV Pros, Cody and LeShawna.
LeShawna grabbed the first tip of the game and read out loud these instructions:
"Take CN Tower through elevator or stairs."
"In the first challenge of the Toronto Race, teams must either go up the elevator or 100 flights of stairs." Don informed them off-screen. "The first team to make it up top will reveal the next challenge through the Don Box. Players, good luck."
Immediately every team got their hands on a Don Box. Well, all except for Costanza, who ended up being nervous for some reason. He had second thoughts about grabbing the first tip.
"Excuse me, are you sure I won't get a paper cut from these travel tips?" Costanza replied to Don.
"Does it look like they're sharp?" Don sighed. "They're plastic. They're not gonna cut you for sure."
"Oh, good." Costanza sighed in relief. "I get a little nautious whenever I deal with paper cuts."
"It's sorta his thing." Kramer said to the host.
"I see, good luck to you anyway." Don nodded.
As the team consisting of Kramer and Costanza left, Don looked to the camera grimly.
"I'm definitely gonna wanna pray for them..." He groaned.
Meanwhile, both teams were deciding which ones would take the elevator and which ones would take the stairs. So far, teams of 20 went on separate elevators while the other teams of 20 decided to go stairs. The teams who decided to take elevators would be:
The Secret High-School Sweethearts, Father and Son, The Duelists, The Surfing Couple, The Sister-Brother Twins, Grandpa & Pickleboy, The Bums, The Step-Brothers, Karate Rivals, The Hollywood Couple, Heroes For Hire, Cousins, The Scientists, The X-Men, Delivery Men, Beast & Beauty, The Neighbors, Best Friends, The Policemen, and Country Folk.
And the teams who decided to take the stairs were as followed:
The Evil Couple, The High-Schooled Monsters, The Singer-Songwriters, The Twin Sisters, Husband & Wife, The Camp Counselors, That 70's Couple, Nincompoop & Shepard, The Mutants, The Dark Knights, The Time-Travelers, The Devil Hunters, Dopers, The Sea Creatures, The Pride of Mexico, The Angry Critics, The Hype Bros., The Ghosts, The Plumbers, and The Royal Couple.
At the bottom of the stairs, Apple White looked up to the building, imagining the flights of stairs they'll have to climb in order to get to the next Don box.
"Oh no, that's gonna be a long way up, and my precious shoes will get ruined on the way too." Apple groaned, "Daring, will you be a sweetie and carry me up to the CN tower with those strong arms of yours?"
"Hey, if my arms can bend steel itself, they can carry even the most distressing of damsels." Daring replied.
Taking yes as an answer, Daring decided to carry Apple on his arms, bridal-style.
"Hang on, my future queen." Daring winked to her.
Suddenly, the two began climbing up the stairs with Daring holding Apple on to safety.
Confessional - The Royal Couple
"Daring is such the sweetest, kindest gentleman there ever is!" Apple said, gushing with love. "I don't know what I'd do without my prince around!"
"I really am that noble," Daring smirked. "Just weeks before this race, I actually tended to my good friend Cerise, where her ankle was swelling up during a nasty fall at Bookball practice. Had to suck the pus out of her for 30 minutes. You ever seen that ankle? It looks like a pimple and a wart had a baby together."
"It sure took a lot of guts for sure, considering I puked while looking at it." Apple nodded.
Meanwhile, things started looking good for Alejandro and Heather as they ascended the 26th floor of stairs.
"We so have this in the bag, mi amor!" Alejandro exclaimed.
"Yeah well, just don't get too carried away!" Heather exclaimed as well. "There are other pathetic teams before us, you know!"
"Relax, it shouldn't be a problem." Alejandro chuckled in response.
But as they got to the 20th platform, Porter Geiss ans Spectra Vondergeist suddenly flew up out of nowhere, passing the evil couple from behind.
"Hey amigo, nice weather we're havin', huh?" Porter smirked at Alejandro.
"Beautiful day, isn't it?" Spectra winked at Heather.
Seeing the Ghosts float up top, Heather turned to her evil boyfriend with a scowl.
"Okay, now it's a problem." Alejandro gulped.
Confessional - The Evil Couple
"Porter and Spectra think they're so cool with their ghoulish skin." Alejandro scoffed. "Their skin reminds me of milk. I throw it away after it smells spoiled. I still shudder looking at it, considering how my brother Jose used to make me drank spoiled milk. I had to puke a whole week!"
"Trust me, Al. They're not getting away with it." Heather commented. "As long as we're running this competition, we're gonna bust them like ghosts."
Meanwhile, as Alejandro and Heather looked up to the Ghosts, the Plumbers (Mario and Luigi) ran past them upstairs, just hopping one flight of stairs after another.
"Look at us Luigi, we are a-pros at this!" Mario said to Luigi.
"We totally a-got this in the bag!" Luigi said to Mario.
While passing the evil couple, Luigi shot out a death stare to Alejandro, who looked creeped out from the inside.
"Okay, that was horrifying." Alejandro gulped.
"Horrifying, my butt! We're falling behind!" Heather said as she grabbed Alejandro's arm and scurried up the stairs.
Meanwhile, in elevator 1, Rusev was growing very impatient, knowing how slow this elevator was going.
"Why doesn't this elevator go faster?!" Rusev exclaimed. "No wonder these Americans are so slow..."
"Rusev, you do realize this is Canada, right?" Summer informed him.
"Who cares where I am!" Rusev scoffed. "They are still slow!"
However, Rusev's little complaint ended up setting something off in Ken.
"You dare tell an American like me 'slow'?" Ken replied.
"I did!" Rusev shouted to Ken, "What are you gonna do about it?"
"I'll kick ya head off right back to Russia so hard, you'll end up looking like a Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robot." Ken smirked.
"We shall see about that!" Rusev snapped before going after him.
But before he could try to punch him, they were held back by the other contestants. The people were holding Ken back were Ryu, Johnny Mundo, Geoff, Big MacIntosh, and Carl McMillan. The people who were holding Rusev back were Mike Biggs, Drake Parker, Alan Harper, Flash Sentry, and Gambit. Of course, Deadpool whined because he wanted to see two people going at it. But nothing was worth fighting over to the death for, considering this took place in an elevator.
Confessional - Beast and Beauty
"That Ken thinks he's all hot stuff!" Rusev replied. "He reminds me of Dolph Ziggler, only with a small nose! I hate small noses! They remind me of that crummy Dolph Ziggler."
"Yeah, or you could say Ken's like a genderbent Lana." Summer smirked.
"Yeah, that too!" Rusev nodded.
Confessional - Karate Rivals
"No wonder Rusev's such a crybaby," Ken smirked. "I guess he got too much sand in his lady parts ever since he lost to John Cena at WrestleMania. Next time he wants to talk about America like that, I'll talk to him about this."
Just to prove a point, Ken displayed his fist as a warning. However, Ryu ended up noticing the dirt around his fingers.
"Dude, when was the last time you washed your hands?" Ryu raised his eyebrow.
"Oh, come on, you know I never wash my hands after a battle!" Ken smirked back to his friend.
"Huh, point taken." Ryu huffed.
Meanwhile, the last of the 26 teams made their way through the stairs and elevators. The 15 teams who took the elevators were:
The Top Secret Couple, The Rebel Couple, The Long Distance Couple, The Blondes, The Space Pilots, Ponyville's Fan Favorites, Talking Baby & Dog, The SWAT Kats, Biker Mice From Mars, The Hardys, The Blue Collar Couple, The Brothers, The Brothers 2.0, Reality TV Pros and The Angry Black Men
And the 11 teams that took the last part of the stairs were:
Seinfeld's Friends, Sock-head and Scammer, The Technicalists, The Dudleys, The Skilled Ninjas, Brothers 3.0, Best Friends 2.0, Hedgehog and Echidna, The Princess and Marco, The Simpsons, and The Snobby Couple.
Inside elevator #2, Fluttershy looked frightened in fear when she saw Uncle Ruckus standing before her. Looking down on her, Ruckus shot a very scare glare down at the scared yellow pegasus.
"What are ya lookin' at, yellow-belly?" Ruckus replied.
"Oh, n-n-nothing, sir..." Fluttershy stuttered in fear. "Eeeeep!"
Suddenly, Fluttershy lowered her neck and raised her shoulders, taking deep cover in response. She was wincing and cowering a little bit in sight of the huge nasty-looking overweight white-man-trapped-in-a-black-man's body.
But as she was shuddering...
...she felt a hand touch her shoulder gently.
"It's okay, there's nothing to be afraid of." A gentle voice said.
Fluttershy ended up opening her eyes to see Ashlynn Ella comfort her.
"He's just a little cranky because he didn't get too much fiber." Ashlynn told her. "If I were you, I'd stay away from him."
"Oh, okay..." Fluttershy nodded weakly.
"By the way, I know we didn't introduce each other, but my name's Ashlynn Ella." The nature-lover smiled sweetly. "What's your name?"
Blushing a little through the cheeks, Fluttershy cowered herself again, but in a shy way.
"My name's... Fluttershy..." Fluttershy whispered lowly.
"Um, I'm not sure I got that. Can you speak a little louder?" Ashlynn replied.
"I said my name... is Fluttershy..." Fluttershy muttered a little lower than usual.
"Okay, that's maybe too low. How about maybe just a tad higher?" Ashlynn pleaded.
"Yaaaa yaaa, yaaaa-ya..." Fluttershy squeaked in response.
And that's when Fluttershy hid before Pinkie Pie. Maybe she was too shy to meet someone else who was just like her. Raising her eyebrow at Fluttershy in a concerned way, Ashlynn turned to her boyfriend, Hunter.
"Well, that was easy." She replied.
Confessional - Ponyville's Fan Favorites
"I can't help but get shy at some of the other people I meet." Fluttershy replied. "I'm not good at introducing myself to everyone, knowing their intentions. Basically I don't know what they're gonna do to me..."
"Sometimes, when I like to meet new people, I like to greet them with cake!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed. "Last time, we greeted new visitors down to Ponyville, and I gave them a complimentary chocolate cake with white frosting! Instead, I ended up using shaving cream as frosting instead, which got ponies food poisoning. Talk about a welcome party, huh?"
Confessional - The Rebel Couple
"I gotta admit, my first impression from Fluttershy wasn't all that great, but I gotta admit she looked so adorable shy." Ashlynn smiled. "I really do want to know her better. I think we could have something in common."
"It reminds me of you when we first met." Hunter smiled as well. "You looked so shy while I was shirtless trying to build that bird house in the tree."
"Yeah, it does, doesn't it?" Ashlynn said, blushing a little.
Meanwhile, AJ Styles and Shelton Benjamin were at the stairs already, completing their 50th floor of stairs.
"Wow, this is looking very easy!" A.J. exclaimed. "Hard to believe these stairs are a cakewalk."
"Looks like the extra bananas that we ate before these are working!" Shelton nodded. "We're gonna have thighs of steel for sure!"
Suddenly, out of nowhere, Sonic sped up all through the stairs, passing A.J. and Shelton in the process.
The two men from Ring of Honor suddenly looked up in shock while Knuckles passed them by with a smirk.
"How's it going?" Knuckles winked at the two before following Sonic upstairs.
"Did that furry blue freak pass us...?" Shelton said, speechless as ever.
"I think he just did." A.J. nodded lowly.
Confessional - The Technicalists
"No other man can run faster than what Sonic did!" Shelton exclaimed. "He puts me to shame, and I can only run like a mile! But Sonic there breaks the frickin' speed limit! He's the only reason why Sonic's most likely to get pulled over without a license!"
Unfortunately for one team, they were failing to get on the starting gate as they were stuck on the first floor of stairs. That team was The Snobby Couple, Karl Fink and Heather. They were busy arguing on which they should go, the stairs or the elevator.
"This is so unfair!" Heather whined. "Why did you have to choose the stairs?"
"Well, I didn't know it was gonna be a long flight of stairs!" Karl replied. "My legs are too nautious to endure these kinds of steps! I knew I should've worked out with mother when I had the chance!"
"There ain't no way I don't want my shoes getting worn out!" Heather whined again. "Where's the host at?"
Out of nowhere, a miniature big-screen TV of Don's face showed up.
"How's it chilling, you two?" Don smirked on the tube.
"These stairs suck!" Heather snarled at Don. "Can we choose the elevator instead so I wouldn't have to worry about getting my heels ruined?"
"Go right ahead." Don smirked. "We've actually got a third elevator you can use, but that will only make you lose time in the competition."
"We'll take our chances!" Karl exclaimed.
Confessional - The Snobby Couple
"Lose time?" Heather scoffed. "I'm pretty sure he's just messing around with us. We've got plenty of time to catch up to the rest of those loser teams. Besides, how bad can it be?"
Karl Fink and Heather went back to the lobby and pressed the button, containing elevator three. After only several seconds, the elevator opened...
...only to reveal an empty darkened room with a very long rope dangling around it.
Karl and Heather looked up as they were horrified.
"Oh, crap..." Karl gulped.
Meanwhile, while Karl and Heather were stuck down at the bottom, the first team to make it up top the CN Tower was Sonic and Knuckles. They quickly managed to make it the Don Box, pressing the button to reveal another travel tip.
"Bungee jump from the skyline." Knuckles read out loud. "Sounds simple enough."
"In a Botch or Watch, one teammate has to complete a challenge." Don said off-screen. "In this case, the person who didnt take a travel tip must bungee jump of the skywalk and snatch their travel tips attached to these extended poles. Racers who took the stairs can get on the skywalk, while the ones that took the elevator have the distinct disadvantage of having to wait 15 minutes before getting on the skywalk, giving them plenty of time for them to question why they joined this race in the first place."
So as Sonic and Knuckles headed for the skywalk first, the first 20 teams that took elevator arrived to the top.
The second team to make it the Don Box was the Policemen, Mike & Carl. They were disappointed when they read the "Botch or Watch" part of the travel tip.
"Oh, son of a bitch!" Mike whined.
"Okay, that's just horses**t there." Carl groaned.
Confessional - The Policemen
"After a long frickin' way up, we have to wait for the other teams who took the stairs to get a chance?" Mike gasped. "That's frickin' bulls**t."
"Yeah, and now we have to wait 15 dryhole minutes in order to get our chance to bungee jump." Carl snarled. "Who thought of that concept?"
"I tell ya, 15 minutes is exactly how long it takes to get Vince out of bed!" Mike exclaimed. "I swear, a snail could beat him."
Confessional - Grandpa & Pickleboy
"I can't believe we have to wait 15 f***ing minutes!" Angry Grandpa groaned. "That's how long it took me to get my f***ing hands on a Yumbo! It was all my son's fault for making me go back to that broken ass drive thru at Burger King!"
"Relax, dad." Pickleboy said, patting his father's shoulder. "Besides, look at the bright side!"
"What f***ing bright side?" Grandpa scowled.
"While we wait, we can discuss strategy on how to dominate the entire competition." Pickleboy whispered to Grandpa. "That way, they won't see us coming!"
"Yeah, I'll enjoy that f***in' break." Grandpa scoffed as he lit a cigarette up.
Confessional - Father and Son
"Yeah, I'll say I'm a bit disappointed that we have to wait until it's our turn, but at least I can discuss a gameplan with my son." Alan explained. "You see, after we win the million, we're gonna move into a bigger house with more bathrooms, more cars, and especially, a love nest for my future wilfe. What do you think of that, Jake?"
Beaming with confidence, Alan turned to Jake, who looked at him with headphones around his ears.
"What did you say, Dad? I wasn't listening." Jake replied to his father.
"Yeah, that's my son: Taterhead..." Alan rolled his eyes.
As the rest of the teams who took the elevator waited patiently, Butt-Head decided to hit on Bridgette, who was standing before him.
"Huhuhuhuhuh, uhhh... hey, baby." Butt-Head said, getting Butt-Head's attention. "I heard you're a surfer. Care to ride my surfboard, if you know what I mean...? Huhuhuhuhuh..."
Being disgusted by Butt-Head's comments, Bridgette called out her boyfriend.
"GEOFF!" She shouted.
"So, is that a yes, then? Huhuhuhuhuh..." Butt-Head laughed.
Suddenly, Geoff approached the boys head-on, therefore standing alongside an offended surfer girl.
"Is there a problem, babe?" Geoff replied.
"That perv with braces was trying to hit on me!" Bridgette exclaimed, pointing at Beavis and Butt-Head.
"Dude, what's your deal trying to hit on my Bridgette like that?!" Geoff shouted to Butt-Head.
"Why are you wearing a pink shirt? Those are for gay people only. Huhuhuhuh..." Butt-Head laughed.
Unfortunately for Beavis and Butt-Head, Geoff wasn't laughing at all.
Instead, Geoff became pissed off entirely as he cracked his knuckles, bracing for the worst to happen to Beavis and Butt-Head.
Confessional - The Bums
Both Beavis and Butt-Head were covered in bandages all over their face due to the beatdown the two suffered at the hands of Geoff.
"Damn it, my butt hurts, butthole. Hehehehe..." Beavis laughed in pain.
"Huhuhuhuh, you totally got your ass handed to a gay cowboy. Huhuhuhuh..." Butt-Head chuckled at Beavis.
"Shut up, buttmunch! Hehehehe..." Beavis laughed.
While Geoff was busy giving the two idiots a total smackdown, the first pairs of teams that chose the stairs finally reached top. Porter and Spectra managed to reach there first with Mario and Luigi behind them.
The green-haired ghost punched in their travel tip, appreciated what they saw there.
"All right! We start right away!" Spectra said, feeling excited that they were heading to the skywalk already.
Confessional - The Ghosts
"I guess you could say I'm a bit of a daredevil when it comes to things like these," Porter smirked. "I've ran through school teachers and personnel all the time while displaying my art for the world to see. If I can handle running through security hands, I can handle a little bungee jumping. Besides, how hard can it be?"
Both Porter and Spectra started looking down from the skywalk, terrified of the long way down. They were up so high, Porter was this close to getting an ounce of motion sickness.
"You were saying, Spec?" Porter gulped.
"Yeah, you're definitely gonna die." Spectra nodded in sarcasm.
Meanwhile, the second barch of teams that took the stairs arrived next with Edd and Eddy arriving first with D-Von and Bubba Ray behind them. However, as soon as they took the travel tip, a hint of wind that came from the skywalk, blew their travel tip away.
The travel tip blew away to the second elevator, where the last batch of teams had arrived. Suddenly, Fluttershy noticed the travel tip flying towards her, so she ducked for cover while at the same time catching it perfectly.
While she was still ducking, Edd came over to her and spoke out.
"Um, excuse me, you seem to have my travel tip." Double D replied. "Can I please have it back?"
"Um, sure, go ahead." Fluttershy nodded weakly, handing Edd the travel tip.
But as she looked up at Edd, something strange was going on between the two.
Suddenly, a vision of hearts came across the two, popping up in a romantic way. And if that wasn't enough, romantic 70's soft rock began playing through some background music, making both Edd and Fluttershy speechless at first. Both of their eyes began to sparkle in a loving way as well, as if something romantic between the two was going on. Heck, even Ashlynn Ella looked at this and gushed like crazy, seeing Fluttershy smitten by a cute buck-toothed boy.
Unfortunately, Eddy ended up breaking the tension between the two.
"Come on, Romeo, you're wasting time." Eddy said, grabbing Double D by the collar. "Hurry up so that we can what's on the travel tip!"
"Right!" Edd nodded to his friend before nodding over to Fluttershy. "It's nice to meet you again, miss!"
"Oh, you too, sir!" Fluttershy shouted back.
Confessional - Ponyville's Fan Favorites
"Ooooh, do I smeeeeeeeell love in the air?" Pinkie said in a sing-songy way.
"It was only nothing, okay?" Fluttershy said, blushing uncontrollably.
"Nothing, huh?' Pinkie raised her eyebrow. "So was staring lovingly at the boy with a giant black sock in his head nothing? Trust me, Fluttershy, Cupid's sniper rifle's got you cornered now!"
"Oh no, am I being threatened?!" Fluttershy gasped.
Just like that, Fluttershy squealed in fear and hid behind a chair.
Confessional - Sock-Head and Scammer
"I can't believe I actually saw her eyes! They're so gorgeous!" Edd exclaimed.
"Ooooh, so Double D wants to be a playa, huh?" Eddy smirked. "I knew he'd be willing to take my advice!"
"Um, you never given me any rightful advice before, Eddy." Double D said, cutting right in.
"That's before I knew you were getting into that pink haired chick!" Eddy smirked again. "Trust me on this. With my help, you'll nail her faster than a Post-It Note, baby!"
Somehow, Edd had no choice but to respond with a distressing sigh.
"Why do I get the feeling this is gonna end bad...?" Edd rolled his eyes.
Confessional - The Rebel Couple
"Awww, it's so cute that Fluttershy's got a crush!" Ashlynn cooed. "Just seeing mushy stuff like that makes me feel all fluffy inside! I think I should help her out a lot more, so she could know him a lot better!"
"Yeah, if you can pair up an elephant and a pig together, you'll have no problem pairing up two people together." Hunter nodded.
"Uh-huh," Ashlynn nodded before putting her fkngers right to her chin. "Although I'm uncertain to know what a pig-elephant baby looks like..."
As the rest of the 65 teams were on top of the CN Tower with their travel tips, one team was still in the bottom climbing the elevator rope all the way to the top.
Both Karl Fink and Heather were climbing rapidly and madly, hoping their speed can pick up in a faster pace. So far, they only reached the 25th floor of elevator space.
"Oh, this is sooooo gross!" Heather shivered. "I don't know what stinks worse, this entire elevator, or the fact that my hands are about to get blisters?"
"I know what you mean!" Karl nodded painfully. "If only if the host would at least bothered to give us gloves, then we would climb this rope faster!"
Heather ended up checking her hands only to realize huge blisters appearing in her hands. Climbing this long rope to the top was definitely excruicating. And Heather could see why.
"I knew we should've been better off going to the stairs!" Heather whined.
"It's not my fault you wussied out not going up the stairs!" Karl snapped back. "At least mother would break a sweat better than you!"
Gasping in a offended way, Heather kicked Karl right in the head, nearly losing his grip on the rope.
Confessional - The Snobby Couple
Karl was now shown with a reddened foot print right on his face.
"Well, Heather sure is a rough cookie there." He smirked. "I love girls like that."
"Karl only likes it when I talk rudely to him," Heather replied. "He finds it so sexy and hot when I do it to him."
"Yeah, it's such a turn-on for me." Karl winked.
"While Karl and Heather try valiantly to catch up, the rest of the teams try their hand at bungee jumping in order to get their final travel tip." Don said off-screen. "Which team will try to be the first to reach the chill zone? And which team will try not to get motion sickness by the time this is over? Come back again after the break for more Ultimate Ridonculous Race!"
Chapter 3: The Race Begins, Part 2
I do not own Total Drama, The Ridonculous Race or any of it's characters. Total Drama, The Ridonculous Race, and all of its characters are owned by Fresh TV, Jennifer Pertsch and Tom McGillis. I also do not own anything associated with WWE, Hasbro, Mattel, Universal Pictures, Nickelodeon, Disney, Marvel, DC Comics, FOX, Cartoon Network, Adult Swim, Nintendo, Capcom, YouTube, MTV, Hanna-Barbera, Konami and such.
Outside the skydeck, the teams who took on the stairs were busy going first, while the teams who took the elevator had to wait their turn, much to their unpleasing displeasure.
Unfortunately, the Sea Creatures were looking down from the top, gulping nervously at the sight of each other hitting through the ground pavement should the rope suddenly snap off.
"I can't believe I have to fall down a very long way..." SpongeBob gulped.
"Tough break," Patrick sighed. "I was gonna have the million to myself."
"Oh, why did you have to take that travel tip in the first place?" SpongeBob whined.
"I thought it was a huge nacho." Patrick stupidly replied.
Confessional - The Sea Creatures
"That's probably the last time I let you eat a travel tip." SpongeBob sighed.
Somehow, Patrick brought out a half-eaten travel tip from his boxers and gave them to SpongeBob.
"Fresh travel tip, buddy?" Patrick smirked.
"Don't mind me!" SpongeBob said, taking the half-eaten tip off his hands and took a bite out of it. With his mouth full of paper, SpongeBob pulled out his best Homer Simpson impression and sighed out, "Mmmmm, papery..."
Meanwhile, while SpongeBob and Patrick were scared crap-less, Liv Rooney responded with a gulp as she began looking down.
Beside her was Austin Moon, who started looking down as well. Unlike Liv however, Austin remained confident.
"Hey, don't worry about it." Austin replied. "I've been in this strange situation once."
"Really?" Liv raised her eyebrow. "How did you manage to leap?"
"I held onto Ally's hand and we jumped. It's no big deal." Austin replied. "If you're scared so much, want me to take your hand so that we can both jump together?"
"Sure, I like that." Liv smiled with a blush on her face.
But she started blushing twice as hard when Austin held her hand. She never knew someone as cute and charming like him before. Well, other than her crush Holden, of course. But either way, feeling Austin's hand grab onto hers made Liv Rooney blush.
They weren't alone though as Apple White looked over at them and blushed, thinking they looked so adorable as a couple.
Confessional - Twin Sisters
"My goodness, I can't believe I felt Austin Moon's hand!" Liv squealed. "It was so warm, I swear my heart turned into melted fudge! It felt so adorable!"
"Yeah, too bad it can't happen between you two, now that Austin's already has a girlfriend." Maddie smirked.
"Oh, come on, that could be anybody, Maddie!" Liv chuckled, as if it were a bad joke. "I'm very certain Austin's single, I'm sure. I sure hope Holden isn't watching this."
"I'm pretty sure he is, Liv." Maddie nodded slyly.
Confessional - The Singer-Songwriters
"It was so sweet of you to help Liv Rooney out!" Ally smiled to Austin. "I'm so lucky you're the nicest boyfriend ever. You're willing to lend out a helping hand to those who need it the most."
"Yeah, like that time I had to give Dez my five extra pieces of jumbo shrimp, all because he kept sneezing on his uncontrollably." Austin nodded.
"Talk about total friendship, huh?" Ally smirked at the camera while nudging Austin in the elbow,
Although Austin managed to feign a smile, he had one upset look in his face.
"I really wanted that shrimp, though. I was so hungry..." He muttered.
Confessional - The Royal Couple
"I can't believe that both Austin Moon and Liv Rooney are in this show!" Apple said feeling a bit excited. "This is so hexciting! They remind us of both you and me, Daring. I mean, take a look at the facts: We're all blonde, musically talented, beautiful and gorgeous. They could practically be us if we switched places with them!"
"Yeah, but is Austin quite a dragon slayer like me?" Daring smirked. "One time at Dragon Slaying class, I nailed myself a dragon that was the the size of three bookball stadiums. I would've gotten out alive if that dragon didn't puke all over me. Took me three weeks to get the smell of dragon bile off of me."
"Yeah, that was such a tragedy." Apple nodded painfully.
As both Liv and Austin leaped off the skydeck, Peggy kept looking down from the top, taking in a huge gulp.
With her knees shaking like crazy, she turned to Al, who was standing right beside her.
"Al, can we switch places?" Peg insisted. "It's way too scary down there."
"It's weird how you were saying that last night at our bedroom, Peg." Al scoffed. "Why on earth would you be saying that here on live TV?"
"Oh, like anyone's gonna care about our sex life." Peg scoffed as well. "I don't wanna jump, Al."
"Peg, pretend it's Oprah hanging onto a ledge." Al groaned.
Hearing this impossible scenario in her very ears, Peg decided to spring into action right away.
"I'M COMIN', OPRAH!" She shouted as she jumped.
But as she was coming down, she didn't notice Alejandro coming up with a travel tip in hand.
"HA! I knew I could beat those idiotas to a travel tip first!" Alejandro chuckled. "Victory is definitely-AAAAAH!"
Unfortunately, Alejandro looked up to see Peggy Bundy coming down towards him. And before the Latin Lover had time to react...
Peg's big red hair knocked Alejandro so silly, the impact knocked the travel tip out of his hands, forcing Heather to whine and complain about what happened.
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" The Queen Bee shouted.
However, Heather had heard LeShawna laughing in the background. Annoyed, she turned to her.
"It's not funny, LeShawna!" Heather scowled.
"Oh, come on, you know how Alejandro's used to getting a head!" LeShawna smirked.
Confessional - Reality TV Pros
"Yeah, I kinda admit the joke was a little bland and cheesy, but I'm willing to get Heather and Al off their game." LeShawna replied.
"I'm willing to get even with Al myself." Cody nodded. "I mean, he nearly made me shark bait back in World Tour!"
Confessional - The Evil Couple
"I can't believe we have to fish out another travel tip... again!" Heather whined. "And worst of all, LeShawna had to laugh at my face like a tub of ghetto lard that she is!"
Alejandro, on the other hand, felt a little queasy as the impact caused by Peg shook him a little loose.
"Ugh, who knew that big-haired woman can pack such a metal head?" Alejandro yelped in pain.
"Settle down, Alejandro," Heather said to him. "You're still acting loopy."
Confessional - Husband & Wife
Peg was now shown with a huge bandage wrapped around her atom bomb of red hair. Al felt a little satisfaction around his face to be exact.
"I hate you, Al." Peg sneered. "You made my hair get ruined by a young attractive Spainard."
"Good, that'll make our lives even." Al smirked.
Peg tried to reach for a travel tip hanging from a steel ledge but failed to grab it.
But as she flung back up, she managed to catch Alejandro's travel tip that was fallen out of his hands when he was knocked onto her.
"Well, what do you know? JACKPOT!" Peg squealed.
While she was being pulled up by her husband, Porter Geiss managed to get his hands on a travel tip as well.
But before Spectra could even pull him up, Porter decided to stop her there.
"Spectra, hold up. I wanna do something!" He shouted.
"Porter, we wont have much time if you're busy spraying your art in the middle of a game!" Spectra reminded him.
"It'll be quick, I promise!" Porter shouted again.
Rolling her eyes, Spectra stopped what she was doing, letting Porter do his tagging business.
Putting his travel tip right on his shorts, Porter started doing hand motions with his finger, letting his ghost spray cans float and spray around the ledges. After a few flips and flickers, Porter managed to draw a heart with a flaming arrow that said 'P+S 4-LIFE'. As the green-glowing ghost looked at his own artwork, Will (Fresh Prince) began looking at his masterpiece upside down while getting a travel tip.
"Hey, dope drawing there, man!" Will replied to Porter.
"Oh, no problem!" Porter nodded.
Confessional - Cousins
"That ghost dude definitely got some taggin' skills for sure." Will smirked. "I think he might be a better artist than me."
"That should be worth mentioning about, considering that got you in trouble in the first place back in Philly." Carlton smirked.
"Sentiments exactly, man." Will nodded.
Confessional - The Ghosts
"Looks like that's a masterpiece done and done," Porter smirked. "Do I entertain or what?"
"Well, not that I'd usually condone your actions at first, but I find it really cute." Spectra smiled. "Too bad I can't see it, otherwise I'd be impressed."
"Yeah, you're right." Porter sighed lowly. "I wish I would've bought an iCoffin with me..."
Meanwhile, as the rest of the teams that took the stairs made their way down the skydeckk, Double D was frozen in fear, realizing that he was gonna bungee jump off a tower scaling 1,815' feet. Fluttershy looked at him in fear while Stewie and Brian were still in the observation deck waiting for the 15 minutes to be up so they could get a shot at a travel tip.
"This sucks! I feel like we're taking forever!" Stewie groaned.
"Look, just be patient!" Brian groaned. "I'll be our turn when it'll be our turn."
"Oh sure, you frickin' say that, Brian." Stewie said, crossing his arms. "Just like how patient I was when I finally had to get my hands on the PS4."
Stewie was walking to a local Gamestop in Quahog.
"Ooooh, I can't wait to get my hands on that PS4!" Stewie squealed.
However, when he approached the store, he read a sign that said, "PS4 Out of Stock."
"WHAT? IT'S OUT OF STOCK?!" Stewie shouted. "THE HELL IT IS!"
Somehow, Stewie pulled a magnum from under her overalls and kicked the door down.
"I would have gotten my hands on it if I haven't stubbed my frickin' toe on the way to the counter." Stewie groaned.
"Gotta love karma for sure." Brian chuckled.
Stewie grew so impatient, trying to wait for Double D to jump so that Stewie could have a turn. Somehow, it was now taking more than five minutes. Not taking this anymore, he brought out a laser gun, pointing at Edd.
"GO AND F**KIN' JUMP ALREADY, YA DOUCHEBAG!" Stewie screamed.
Suddenly, Stewie shot the laser gun...
...and hit Edd right in the ass, therefore making him leap in pain.
"AUGGGGGGGGGGGGH!" Edd screamed.
"Oh no, Edd!" Fluttershy gasped.
Horrified, Fluttershy then scowled at Stewie, giving him 'the stare' in response while crossing her arms angrily. This time, Stewie was the one that looked horrified, although not so much.
"What?" Stewie shrugged at her. "He was the one who wouldn't hurry the hell up!"
Confessional - Talking Baby & Dog
"So I'm such an impatient bastard, so frickin' what?" Stewie shrugged.
"See what I mean, folks?" Brian replied. "That's why when things like that happen, always lock your kids at night."
Confessional - Ponyville's Fan Favorites
"How dare that little guy shoot Edd with that thing-ga-ma-jig?!" Fluttershy gasped upsettingly. "He is a bad baby! A very bad baby! I have a right to call his parents so that he could give him a time out!"
"Ooooh, getting all tough are we? I dig that!" Pinkie smirked at Flutters.
"I can't help but get tough on a fussy animal, especially when kids like him start acting like one!" Fluttershy nodded.
Back at the observation deck, both The Singer-Songwriters and Twin Sisters were checking out their travel tip, figuring out the final task for this week's challenge.
"Okay, it says here that we have to zipline from the CN tower all the way to the airport for today's chill zone." Liv said, reading the tip loudly. "Oooh, we are so there!"
"Yeah, what she said." Ally said as he dragged Austin over to the skywalk.
As soon as they got there, both Liv and Austin both had a hand on the zipline. After they felt both of their hands touch each other, they quickly backed away from one another.
"Um... you first, Austin." Liv said, giving him a go.
"No, I insist. You and your sister go." Austin moved out of the way.
"Actually, we insist." Maddie said, stepping in. "You helped us out, now we helped you out."
"We're saying to both of you, you can go ahead of us." Ally said, stepping in as well.
Somehow, this started to become a minor arguing match between two teams. But before things can get personal from here...
...Al and Peggy Bundy ran through them like wildfire.
"Outta the way! Shoe Salesman and Big Red comin' through!" Al said, getting his hands on the zipline.
"Al, I'm scared of ziplines!" Peg said, holding onto them.
"I'm scared of that hippopotamus I call your mother all of the time, but we got a race to win, dammit!" Al replied.
Just like that, the husband and wife rode the zipline down all the way to the chill zone. Meanwhile, Maddie shook herself loose and picked up her glasses.
"Okay, that really came out of nowhere." Maddie groaned. "You okay, Liv? Liv?"
"Maddie, help!" Liv shouted.
To her shock, Maddie found Liv hanging from the edge of the skywalk, nearly looking like she was about to fall from a very long height.
"Oh crap, Liv!" Maddie gasped. "Don't worry, I'll help you up!"
"Don't worry about this," Austin said to Maddie. "I'll help her."
Seeing her helpless and looking to fall, Austin managed to help Liv up while Ally held onto Austin's waist, making sure that Liv didn't take the rockstar with him on the way down.
After a few tries, he successfully managed to pull Liv right up on the skydeck.
"There you go," Austin said. "You really should be more careful, next time."
"I'll definitely be aware of that. Thanks!" Liv exclaimed.
Suddenly, Liv couldn't help but blush at the rockstar's heroic act of gesture, which made Austin raise his eyebrow in question.
Confessional - Twin Sisters
"Austin is sooooo thoughtful!" Liv squealed. "I swear, he's like a rockstar/superhero all melded into one. If he hadn't come to my help in the first place, I would've been splattered like a water balloon. Just the thoughts of my splattered innards around the cold hard pavement still gives me the shivers."
"Trust me, sis. That image would put a grindhouse movie to shame." Maddie chuckled.
Confessional - The Singer-Songwriters
"I had to help Liv up. There was no way I was gonna let a cute chick like her fall." Austin replied. "I do the same if Ally was in trouble."
"Oh, that's so nice!" Ally squealed.
In exchange, Ally gave him a small kiss to the cheek.
"Anyway, what's up with Liv Rooney all of a sudden?" Ally smirked. "With the way she's blushing at you, Liv thinks she's got a total crush on you. I hope I'm not too jealous."
"Oh, that's insane." Austin smirked as well. "Everyone has crushes on me. Even Dez has a crush on me, and I find it a bit creepy for sure."
Somewhere in the sky walk, Xander from the Camp Counselors was trying to leap off the skydeck when he smelt something so smoky and strange.
"Oh... oh man." Xander said, coughing a bit. "Emma, did you smoke something strange?"
"Xander, you know I can't smoke until I'm 18!" Emma replied. "And I find it gross!"
"Who... in the heck's doing that?" He coughed again.
However, Xander noticed that the smoke was coming near him.
Cautious, Xander looked to the left to see Steven Hyde with a burnt doobie around his lips. It was quite obvious that it was pot smoke that Xander was sniffing. Seeing the camp counselor staring at him in shock, Hyde turned to the kid and replied:
"Nice air we're breathin', huh?"
Smelling it for the first time, Xander felt his eyes burn from the smoke, even letting out a little sizzle.
"AUUUGH! My eyes, they burn!" Xander shouted in pain.
"Xander!" Emma shouted, therefore going up the skydeck to check on his friend.
"Hehehehe, nice burn!" Kelso said to Hyde from the observation deck.
"Yeah, and I didn't have to insult him." Hyde smirked.
Confessional - The Camp Counselors
Xander was now spending the entire confessional looking half-baked, thanks to the pot air that he breathed.
"Pot air is so gross!" Emma cringed. "This smells way worse than cleaning an outhouse with a toothbrush. And that was a bet I lost to Hazel on!"
"I don't know why, but I'm sooooo aching for brownies now." Xander said in a cool, laid-back way.
"I don't think so, Xander." Emma shook her head. "You're a little high, now."
Confessional - Dopers
Both Kelso and Hyde spent their confession time once again high.
"C'mon, what's wrong with a little pot?" Hyde shrugged. "I smelled worse things other than air before. Believe me, it actually feels really good."
"Yeah, it's just like watching Donna's mom shower while I watch." Kelso chuckled. "You think she's watching this show braless right now?"
"Oh, there's no doubt about it right now..." Hyde chuckled as well, nodding like an idiot.
As Xander fell unconscious for the moment, the rest of the teams who had gotten their travel tip all scrolled down the zipline, where a mattress/chill zone was placed around the airport.
So far, the first team to make it to the chill zone was...
...Al and Peggy Bundy!
1st Place: Al and Peggy Bundy - Husband & Wife
As they landed safely, Don approached them with a smile on his face.
"Congratulations, Husband and Wife." Don replied. "You're the first team to make it to the chill zone!"
"First place, Al!" Peg said, hugging Al with glee. "We get first place! We won the race!"
"Yes, you did." Don said, reminding the red-head. "But unfortunately, you only have 60+ places left to go, so the race isn't quite over yet."
"Oh no..." Peg sighed.
"Yeah, it bites doesn't it?" Don huffed. "Believe me, miss, you'll get used to it."
After the Bundys crossed the chill zone, more teams began to fill up the standings, which followed like this.
2nd Place: Austin Moon & Ally Dawson - The Singer-Songwriters
3rd Place: Liv & Maddie Rooney - Twin Sisters
4th Place: Will & Carlton Banks - Cousins
5th Place: Porter Geiss & Spectra Vondergeist - The Ghosts
"Congratulations to the four of you for moving on!" Don exclaimed.
Both teams began to congratulate each other, mostly Liv Rooney because ended up hugging Austin Moon instead of her own sister team-mate, Maddie. Realizing what was going on, Liv ended up separating from Austin Moon with the blush still on her cheeks.
"While the rest of the teams are now strolling down through the airport, some of them still fight on... with each other of course." Don smirked.
The team that was fighting with each other was The Angry Critics, who were just about to roll down to the airport via zipline. It wasn't more like fighting though. However, the Nostalgia Critic felt a little case of the shakes when he looked down. It was only on the inside though, but on the outside, he ended up being a little brave.
"Make sure you hang on to me, okay?" The Angry Video Game Nerd said to him. "Whatever you do, don't start acting like a whine-ass while we roll down!"
"Relax, I got it under control!" The Critic chuckled. "It's not like I'm actually gonna be scared."
"Good." The nerd nodded as the two rode down on the zipline.
But as the two rolled down...
...the Nostalgia Critic screamed like a little pansy and covered the Nerd's eyes tightly.
"AUGGGGGH!" The Critic yelped. "MOMMY, SAVE MEEEEEEEE!"
"HEY, GET THE F**K OFF ME, YA F**KTARD!" The Nerd shouted back.
"DON'T TAKE ME NOW, SUN GOD!" The Critic cried. "I'M TOO YOUNG TO LIVE, YET DIE!"
"DAMN IT, LET ME GO BEFORE I BLEND YOUR BALLS WITH A CHAINSAW!" The Nerd screamed.
However, the tighter the Nerd's eyes were covered, the more he was about to lose his grip on the handle. With only several seconds that had passed...
...the two fell off from the zipline.
"DAAAAAAAAAAAAMN IIIIIIIIIIT!" The Nerd and Critic screamed.
And before anyone knew it...
The two had hit the water with a big splash.
Confessional - The Angry Critics
The Angry Video Game Nerd now looked pissed and wet as The Nostalgia Critic chattered his teeth and huddled into a ball in fear.
"You just had to act like a f***ing priss-ass, didn't you?" The Nerd scowled to the Critic.
"I think the c-c-c-cold water shrunk m-m-m-my balls compl-pl-pl-pletely off..." The Critic shivered.
"Good, maybe you'll learn next time, a**hole..." The Nerd scoffed before drinking his signature Rolling Rock.
Meanwhile, more teams began coming down through the zipline in complete order. The teams that successfully managed to cross down the zipline were:
6th Place: Sonic & Knuckles - The Hedgehog & Echidna
7th Place: Howard Wolowitz & Raj Koothrappali - Best Friends 2.0
8th Place: Daring Charming & Apple White - The Royal Couple
9th Place: AJ Styles & Shelton Benjamin - The Technicalists
10th Place: George Costanza & Cosmo Kramer - Seinfeld's Friends
11th Place: Zack Ryder & Mojo Rawley - The Hype Bros.
12th Place: Alejandro & Heather - The Evil Couple
13th Place: Edd & Eddy - Sockhead & Scammer
14th Place: Steven Hyde & Michael Kelso - Dopers
15th Place: Shelby Marcus & Cyd Ripley - The Time-Travelers
"15th place! Not too bad, Shelby & Cyd!" Don exclaimed.
"All right, not too bad, huh?" Shelby replied.
"Yeah, at least we won't have to do that bungee-jump part again!" Cyd nodded.
And then, the teammates engaged in a high-five...
...which sent both Shelby and Cyd back to the bungee jump portion of the challenge.
"CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!" Shelby and Cyd screamed unfortunately.
"Hahaha! Nice job sending yourselves back where you came from, harlots!" Bubba Ray Dudley said, laughing at the both of them before stealing their place in the chill zone.
Confessional - The Time-Travelers
"Here's advice to the rest of you watching at home," Shelby said to the camera. "Always shut your mouth instead of remembering the past..."
"Point taken for sure." Cyd nodded.
As the Dudley Boyz took 15th place instead, Don felt like it was time to take a break.
"Well, that was unfortunate for our now mentally challenged time travelers." Don said to the camera.
"WE HEARD THAT!" Shelby and Cyd screamed off-camera from far away.
"Huh, I guess they did." Don shrugged.
Meanwhile, as Don was still talking to the camera, Zack Ryder and Mojo Rawley from the Hype Bros snuck up behind him and made faces at the camera. Even Zack Ryder decided to pull off the bunny ears on Don while he wasn't looking.
"Will we see more teams cross the finish line?" Don replied. "Do I look more handsome than I ever was without being made a fool of myself for once? The exciting moment will conclude after the break on... the Ultimate Ridonculous Race!"