There is not a day that goes by that I don't wonder how my life would have been different, how Oz would have been different if I had stayed. Would I still be in love? Would I regret staying? I had a million questions that would never be answered because I left. I left the magic, the order. Most importantly I left Nox.
I wonder if he did what I told him to. If he had continued his life, found love, made a family sometimes I want to go back to find out if he did. Sadly going back willingly is a huge danger to Oz and to myself. I would end up like Dorothy. Greedy, hated...dead. I couldn't do that to myself, to Oz, to Nox, to my daughter.
I know what you are thinking, and the answer is yes. I do have a daughter. She is three years old and no Nox is not her father. You see, a few years after leaving Oz I became what my mother was. Emotionless, careless, and overall depressed. That is until I met Apollo. He made me happy. His songs, his poems, his jokes. I thought I loved him. That is, until I had Victoria. Apollo left me to raise our daughter on my own. I wonder if Nox would have left if we had a child together. Just another question to add my millions.
"MOMMY!!" I heard Victoria scream and come running down the hall. Her ducky slippers whacked with every rushed step. She leaped into my lap and hooked onto my neck, her face buried in my chest.
"What's wrong baby," I stood up with her still latched onto me, and began walking to her room. She became fidgety as we got closer to the room. Slowly I opened the door. I was not prepared for what I saw. My eyes met with some else's, someone I thought I'd never see again. Nox.
"Amy?" He took a small step towards me. I nodded setting down Victoria, her slippers made a short 'quack' sound.
"I need to talk to you," he paused looking at Victoria, "alone."
"You have a daughter," he said as we walked out the room, leaving Victoria to continue playing. It wouldn't have been my top choic on topics, but I couldn't say I didn't expect it.
"Uh yeah," I said walking into the kitchen, "need a drink?"
"Uh how old is she?" Nox asked, dodging my attempt to change subjects.
"Three," I cleared my throat, "what was it you wanted to talk to me about."
"Oh. Uh yeah. Yeah.," he coughed, "I-we need you back in Oz."
"Why? I can't just get up and leave. Like you said, I have a daughter. Besides, it's been five years, I can't fight very good anymore." The words I said didn't completely match up with what I said. I wanted to go. I love Oz and I hate Kansas. But I couldn't leave Victoria, I wouldn't even if I could.
"Bring her with you. You won't have to fight. We just need you to come."
"Why," I looked at his cold, yet dreamy, eyes.
"Ozma was... Hurt. We need you to rule temporarily until she heals."
"I CAN'T RULE OZ," I was suddenly yelling, but quickly stopped, "Dorothy became ruler and look how that turned out. I can not become like her. I won't allow it."
"You won't," he placed his hand on my arm but quickly removed it, "you kno what can happen, she didn't. You won't let it go back to how it was. I won't let it go back to how was."
"Why can't you just rule? You saved Oz just as much as I did. "
"I can't. Oz has ALWAYS been ran by a queen. A male ruler-"
"A king," I interrupted.
"A king has never happened and it never will. "
I looked at my feet without responding. I wanted to go, but I was afraid. After all those years of wanting to go back, I was finally given the opportunity and now I'm afraid. Afraid of what I might become. Afraid of letting Oz down just as Dorothy has.
"Just think about it. I'll come to you if you decide to come help."
"How will you know?" I asked. He didn't answer. All he did was wink then vanish into thin air.