This was not part of the plan. This was absolutely not part of the plan.
What was the plan in the first place? Iemitsu choked. Well, there wasn't really a plan and now that the reality of everything was finally hitting him, he realized how much he had fucked up. Lal had every right to kill him when he got back to headquarters. Wait, wait, wait. He could salvage this. Sure it wasn't the way he wanted his precious son to grow up, but he could fix this. He could totally fix this. After all, he was the head of the CEDEF, the Young Lion of Vongola, there was no problem he couldn't handle.
Besides, how hard could it be to raise a kid by yourself?
Famous last words.
"You're a what?" Lal hissed. Despite being a head shorter than Iemitsu, the intensity of her glare made up for the difference in height.
"A father!" Iemitsu said, beaming. He held out his precious tuna fish out so Lal could see him. Tsuna slept through the entire exchange, unaware.
Lal's murderous rage only grew. "Why," she gritted out, "did you kidnap a baby?"
"I did not kidnap him!" Iemitsu protested. "He's mine!"
"He looks nothing like you!" Lal snapped. Soft brown hair and chubby cheeks were more than enough proof.
"Of course not!" Iemitsu said. "He took after my beautiful Nana!" His heart clenched a little at the thought of his beloved dead wife. He never expected to become a single father, that Nana wouldn't live past Tsunayoshi's birth, but when life gave you lemons… He did know how to make a damn good lemonade if he could say so himself.
"You're telling me that all those times you've disappeared this past year, you've been courting a civilian, married them, had a kid and then brought the kid back with you?" Lal asked frigidly.
"Yes…?" Iemitsu said.
The mafia and babies did not mix well together.
To be more accurate, the mafia and the baby known as Sawada Tsunayoshi did not mix well together. Six months old and Tsuna already had everyone wrapped around his tiny sticky fingers. He was, as Iemitsu would say, so adorable, cute and distracting and "How can I say no to a face like this Lal?!"
(Lal's blood pressure was through the roof for months.)
Nono was indulgent of Tsunayoshi, whom he considered to be his first grandson. He was usually the first to volunteer to babysit Tsunayoshi, bouncing the growing toddler on his knee while reminiscing about his own sons at this particular age.
As a result, Nono may have started needling Enrico to get started on providing more grandkids. Enrico loudly protested that Tsunayoshi would have to do for now. Massimo would laugh in the background and Federico would use the argument to run off with Tsunayoshi himself.
But for reasons unknown to everyone, Xanxus was Tsunayoshi's favorite of the Vongola brothers. If only for the colorful hair decoration the youngest brother wore, which Tsunayoshi tracked with cheer, batting at them. (And Xanxus let him!)
Basically, no one was working when they should be. Tsuna was too distracting and was often passed around while being cooed at.
It got worse when Tsunayoshi learned to crawl. Suddenly, it was impossible to keep him out of anywhere.
Iemitsu had a heart attack the first time Tsunayoshi managed to crawl into the gun range, only to start crying when the gunshots scared them.
"Don't cry my precious tuna fishie! Papa is here," Iemitsu comforted Tsuna.
The CEDEF headquarters was babied proofed after that. So was the Vongola Mansion. Many CEDEF members could be seen running after a crawling Tsunayoshi who was off exploring. Lal just face palmed and muttered 'idiots' under her breath.
Really it was amazing that anything got done these days.
(Iemitsu was not helping. The man was incapable of denying his son anything.)
Iemitsu's inability to tell Tsuna no had gotten them both into trouble multiple times.
"What do you mean you blew our entire budget on lion themed baby clothes and toys?" Lal asked, crossing her arms as she stared down at her boss.
Iemitsu held out Tsuna dressed in a cute lion onesie. Tsuna babbled, reaching out for his Aunt Lal. "Lions! Tsuna loves lions!" Iemitsu said proudly.
"Boss," Oregano said, "We just repainted Tsunayoshi's room a week ago."
"But this week Tsuna's favorite color is yellow!"
Lal took one look at the toddler in Iemitsu's arms and said, "No. Fuck no, Iemitsu."
"His name is Basil," Iemitsu said, pouting a fashion that looked exactly like one of Tsuna's pout. "Tsunayoshi needs a sibling!"
"We are not an orphanage Iemitsu!"
(Oregano ended up adopting Basil regardless.)
One day, Tsuna disappeared.
"What the fuck do you mean he's missing?" Xanxus snapped. He had been dragged over to the CEDEF headquarters because a certain blond idiot had promised his son that Xanxus would come over to play today. Only when Xanxus arrived, he found Iemitsu crying, people running around like headless chickens and the fucking trash were unable to tell him anything.
Lal pinched the bridge of her nose, just completely and totally done with all of this. "Exactly that. Tsunayoshi crawled off somewhere and no one know where. Iemitsu had been inconsolable for the last ten minutes."
"He's nine months old!" Xanxus snapped. "He can't have gone that far!"
"TSUNNAAAAA!" Iemitsu cried out.
Both Lal and Xanxus stared at him.
"I feel so fucking sorry for baby Sky," Xanxus said. "He's going to grow up with that as his father."
"I know," Lal moaned. "Poor kid. I'm praying his mother's genes won out. I can't deal with two Iemitsu in the future."
"I think this belongs here."
They both turned around, surprised to see Reborn standing behind them. Cradled in the World's Greatest Hitman's arm was a certain missing toddler.
"Tsunayoshi!" Lal and Xanxus scolded.
Tsuna merely clapped his hands together, babbling cheerfully and blissfully unaware of the stress he had caused.
"TSUNNAAA!" Iemitsu shouted, bouncing over them. All traces of the crying had disappeared and the CEDEF's boss smiled brightly. "Come to papa!"
Looking unimpressed, Reborn handed Tsuna over. Only before he could do so, Tsuna latched onto Reborn's jacket. "Bobo!" he shrieked, refusing to be separated from Reborn.
"Go to your father," Reborn said, pulling Tsuna's hand from his jacket. Tsuna just stubbornly reattached himself to Reborn's sleeve this time.
Iemitsu looked at Tsuna, who pouted at him and then at Reborn, who glared at him. He clasped a hand on Reborn's shoulder and said, "You're hired Reborn. Welcome to the CEDEF family."
With his free hand, Reborn shot at Iemitsu. The bullet narrowly missing Iemitsu's shoulder, a warning shot. "I'm not joining anyone's famiglia," he hissed.
"But you're Tsuna's favorite person!" Iemitsu said. "That means you're now family! It's a paid job!"
"Hey!" Xanxus protested. "I'm Tsunayoshi's favorite person!"
"I am not a babysitter," Reborn said darkly.
Off to the side, Lal looked upward toward the sky, sending off a silent plea. Idiots, all of them. She was not paid enough to deal with this.
Tsuna just laughed, never letting go of Reborn's sleeve.
Later, much later, Reborn would discover that Iemitsu had made him Tsunayoshi's godfather. What kind of idiot decided to make a freelance hitman the godfather to his child?
Reborn vowed then and there, he would make sure absolutely all of Iemitsu's quirky personality traits were trained out of Tsunayoshi.
Nine month old Tsunayoshi had no idea what he had just signed himself up for. No, he was too busy eating the ice cream his father was feeding him.
It would turn out that many people were invested in making sure Tsunayoshi didn't grow up like his father. This in turn meant exposing Tsunayoshi to as many different role models as early as possible and as frequently as possible. There was no shortage of babysitters for Tsunayoshi.
Life continued on in true Vongola Style.
Iemitsu smiled, laughing as Tsunayoshi would latch onto someone knew every month and hiring them on the spot. Nono continued to spoil his favorite grandson while Federico spent his time kidnapping Tsuna every possible moment. Xanxus grew swiftly overprotective, bristling at anyone who would dare challenge him for Tsunayoshi's favorite person spot. Reborn's first gift to Tsunayoshi may have been a tiny fedora (which Tsuna adored). More and more people were pulled into Tsunayoshi's orbit.
Tsuna, growing bigger each day, basked in the love and warmth of his large family.
After all, it took a
village mafia famiglia to raise a child.