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Drunken Confessions

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Marinette scowled out over the sunset-coloured horizon, wrapped up in a floral patterned pink quilt in her deckchair and a half empty bottle of Clairette De Die she had bought on special that day clutched in her hand. Drinking straight from the bottle probably wasn't the smartest idea she had ever had and Tikki had frowned deeply but, Marinette felt she needed to get this out of her system.

She had come to a startling realisation. One that had admittedly been three years in the making. The revelation had happened that morning as she watched a video of the latest Akuma attack from the previous day on The Ladyblog. It seemingly hit her out of nowhere as she stared at the screen and had promptly frozen for at least twenty minutes before Tikki had gotten worried enough to hit her bicep.

A thump startled Marinette out of her brooding for a split second only for the scowl to reform once she took in the black, skin-tight suit of her new companion.

"You!" The word came out loud, vicious and a little slurred.

Chat Noir's brilliant green eyes widened as he faced the furious young woman, his ears flattened back and a hesitant clawed finger pointed at himself. "...Me?"

"Yes, You! This is all your fault!" Marinette hoisted herself out of the chair, throwing the quilt aside, and stormed towards the hero, the bottle still clutched in her hand. The young designer wasn't sure why Chat had stopped by her balcony though she did know that Chat sometimes patrolled past her house during one of his solo nights. Rationally, she knew that having this conversation while intoxicated wasn't the brightest idea lest she said something she would later regret.

But Marinette was drunk, pissed off and desperately trying not to ogle the form-fitted suit on her fellow miraculous wielder.

The vaguely terrified look on Chat's face only increased once Marinette jabbed a finger into his solar plexus. A tiny part of Marinette that was still sober and rational thought the look was vaguely amusing.

Take down dangerous and, at times, lethal Akuma? No worries.

Face volatile situations and keep grinning through them? In the bag.

A drunk pissed off Marinette Dupain-Cheng? Nope. Nada. Abort Mission. Do not pass go. Do not collect €200.

"You and your goddamn puns and your stupidly charming grin and damnable loyalty and general..." Marinette trailed off as she gestured frustratedly at the slowly relaxing hero. "YOU-NESS!" Finally finding the right word, blue eyes narrowed up into bewildered green. "I have a crush on you and that is a problem and it's all your fault."

Chat's eyes widened and his jaw fell slack. "Wait? W..Wh...What? You have a crush on me?"

Marinette scowled up at Chat again and snapped, "Yes, I have a huge crush on you and it's a huge problem!" She turned away and stomped towards her quilt, shoving it onto the deck chair.

"Why?" Chat's face looked a little heartbrokenly confused and he wrung his hands together. His tail twitched agitatedly behind him.

Marinette spun around to face him, wobbled slightly, slapped a hand at the claws that went to steady her and spat the words out through her teeth. "Because I like someone else!"

The stiffness in Chat's body and the twisted expression on his face made Marinette's sigh in resignation as she pinched the bridge of her nose with her free hand.

She was so not drunk enough for this conversation.

"You know what?  Fuck you and your tight ass. Fuck Adrien Agreste and HIS tight ass." Chat jolted and snapped his head towards Marinette, wide-eyed and a smile twitching in the corner of his mouth. Not that the ranting girl noticed as she waved an errant hand about her. "Fuck both of you and your wonderful personalities and pretty green eyes and shiny blond hair that I really want to run my hands through. Fuck the way you both make me lose my damn mind. In fact!" Marinette gestured to Chat with the half full bottle of wine, face set determinedly and blue eyes boring into stunned green. "You and Adrien Agreste can go fuck each other."

Marinette froze as she took in what she just said before muttering , "Actually, I'd like to watch that." before shaking her head. She took in Chat Noir's form.

Chat had gone redder than Ladybug's suit and was fidgeting again.

An absentminded part of Marinette that was still daydreaming about the 'Chat and Adrien' comment pondered just how far down that blush went (and if he'd be willing to show her).

The hysterical part of Marinette was screaming that now would be a great time to throw herself off her balcony.

The 'Ladybug' part of her reminded the hysterical part that Chat would just catch her and being that close to Chat would just make everything worse.

The last part of Marinette's mind that possessed any sanity left from the initial freak-out over Chat and the slow lack of sobriety of the evening suggested that Marinette made her escape back into her room.

(Marinette herself wondered if  she was going crazy. She decided to blame it on the alcohol, Chat Noir and Adrien Agreste. It was all their fault anyway.)


Chat jolted and blinked at Marinette, not quite meeting her eyes. "Y..Y..Yes, Princess?"

"Get off my balcony. I'm not drunk enough for this." With that, Marinette snatched her quilt up and jumped through her trapdoor, all the while muttering about stupidly attractive, kind, green eyed boys. The wine sloshed violently in the bottle as she bounced from the force of landing on the bed. Once she stopped, Marinette took another swig of the liquid.

Chat's head poked into the room. "Er, did you want me to..."

Marinette flumped back onto the bed and gave him a flat look. "Scram."

The flustered look from before returned to Chat's face as he waved his hand manically. "Right. Sorry. Bye. See you at... well. I... I'll just see you around, Pretty Gir... I MEAN GORGEOUS! SORRY! I MEANT PRINCESS! BYE!" With that, Chat's face disappeared from sight and the telling sound of his baton extending told Marinette that the Black Cat Hero was gone.

Marinette draped an arm over her eyes and groaned. She really wasn't drunk enough for this.



The next day, while Marinette was nursing her hangover, Adrien refused to look her in the eye.