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Levi wasn`t picky, except he was, horribly so. Call him shallow but men had to have certain qualities before they could even think of being with him. Hanji had told him he was lonely as all hell and tried to set him up with others over the years but they realized his standards were too high. This one wasn`t handsome, this one talked too much, this one was dirty, this one was too tall,  it was always something, and eventually the captain just stopped looking.


But then he met him.


Him being a bumbling angry heap of flesh named Eren Jeager. They`d met in a jail cell, how romantic, the kid was chained up and he had to lean on a filthy wall.


He was dirty.


He was taller than him.


He talked too much.


He was handsome though, at least.


But of course looks weren`t something that hooked Levi, no matter how bright his eyes were against his skin, and how he wondered if said skin was ethnic or just tanned. But his will caught his attention too, that animalistic need for revenge, to kill and slaughter anything that stood in his way, how insane he looked in that moment, it made him realize Eren Jaeger was not to be played with.


Still, he was a brat and just because he met one standard doesn`t mean he met them all, so he`d left it at that.


And it was a good thing Levi hadn`t felt anything for him because right after that he had to kick his ass. He admired the kid for not cowering though, in fact he had growled at him, he kicked him for it but still, he had guts. After that wonderful reunion he found Eren was understanding, selfless, anyone would have yelled and screamed for being beaten as he had, but Eren had taken it as it was, even thanked him for it.


“Really, you technically saved my life sir.” He`d said kindly, a very faint smile on his lips, which were probably still sore.


Sweet Sina was that an accent?


“I`m very grateful.”


It was an accent, Levi was in trouble, he was in huge trouble.


Still, the kid wasn`t going to get to him that easily, he was still a brat, albeit a kind brat with pretty eyes and a fucking accent. But still dirty and far too talkative for his taste.


When Jaeger joined his squad was when he started becoming the literal man of his dreams, he cleaned well, he cleaned after others, did he mention he cleaned? He didn`t know if it was nice or irritating having nothing to dust or scrub because Eren had already done it that morning.


He made him tea, well blended, delicious tea, he had tea for when he was sore, for stress, even medical tea for injuries. Apparently Jaeger was a doctor`s son and as such knew how to treat and care for anyone injured. He was almost instantly the unofficial field medic.


Okay, so not dirty anymore and hella smart apparently, but he was still taller, still too mouthy.


Levi realized he liked Eren`s height when he`d started to subconsciously grab things Levi would need that were far too high up and set them aside for him, he left stools in convenient places without making jokes, or he`d just grab what Levi needed on his own, but he did so without hurting his pride.


Levi stretched to reach the tea tin, who had put it on the top shelf knowing he needed his damn tea was going to get an earful. Clunking boots entering the kitchen made him jerk around to find the cadet that haunted his thoughts more than he`d like to admit casually walking up behind him, just an inch away from pressing against his back, and he reached for the tin to grab it.


Levi held back a groan, he could`ve gotten it, he really didn`t want to hear the old, `man you`re short` speech from a cadet, but he could just order him away he supposed. Or just kick him, he could-


“Oh! I didn`t mean to get this, my mistake.” Eren exclaimed, and set the tea tin down onto the counter where he knew Levi could reach and instead went to grab the dried beef jerky. He saluted Levi before he marched out of the kitchen.


Levi could feel himself trying to smile at the way the cadet had obviously made a big deal of letting him get his own tea, it was sweet, he was sweet.


So maybe tallness wasn`t so bad, but... but he still talked too much. No, Levi had began to enjoy his chatter weeks ago, but he was... He... He was perfect. Still Levi found a way to nitpick at anything he could to keep from admitting he wanted him.


Then he`d done something that had swept Levi off his feet in a wave of attraction and want. The new recruits had arrived and he`d noted Eren had been friends with most of them, they were noisy and annoying, nothing like Eren at all, and worst of all they left messes everywhere and cleaned them half-assed. He was going to cut into their asses as they left the mess hall table with dishes and food splattered across it, was going to berate and humiliate them for daring to leave the place in such disorder. But then something magical happened, Eren went and did it for him.


“Where to you all think you`re going?” He`d asked menacingly.


“Uh, to bed? You losing it over there Jaeger?” The horse-looking one answered.


“I`m sorry, do you see this,” He gestured towards the dirty table, “do you think this is fucking acceptable Jean?”


They looked scared now.


“Whatever, who made you a commanding officer Eren? I don`t have to clean shit!” The horse growled.


Eren raised a brow.


“You don`t?” He asked, as he cracked his knuckles, he start slowly walking over to the boy with a blank face, and as he finally reached the ignorant pony he was backed against the wall,


“You better get you a rag and scrub you horsefaced bastard, or so help me I`ll make you lick it clean.” Eren growled, the other cadets immediately went to grab whatever cleaning equipment they could carry and sea biscuit grudgingly took a rag from the bald one and grumbled as he cleaned off their dirty table together.


Levi`s eyes went over to Eren`s satisfied expression, the way he`d been so irate, over a dirty table, over him, over a simple mess had his poor old heart fluttering in his chest.


“You have to clean under the table too you prick! There`s probably mold under it!” Eren barked.


Eren Jaeger was to be his, no questions asked, he was too wonderful to let escape him.


“Jaeger, meet me in my office after you finish with these dirty brats.” Levi ordered, marching out of the now complaint filled mess hall, he vaguely acknowledged Eren shouting a “Yes sir!” and saluting him,


“Jean the fuck did I just say!? The cracks matter too!”


How he loved this boy.