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I hate you, I love you.

Chapter Text

There was one clear reason why Tom had done what he did; loneliness.

The fact was that comments here and there and texts, and questions if anyone actually took the time to notice, the question that everyone thought, that those close to him were terrified to ask was as blatant as the nose on his face the reason he had chosen to do what he did.

Chris H - Can't wait to see you in my neck of the woods mate, sadly with a wife and three kids, though, it won't be like the first two and Avengers you know.

Emma - I can't believe it, I actually got married before thirty, I officially broke one of my own rules. But no, no kids anytime in the next year at least, I have the play coming up at Christmas, didn't I tell you, you're not the only member of the family to Shakespeare it up in London now Big Brother.

Sarah - I can't just drop things to go to the US like some of the others at work, I have a kid, they don't seem to understand that, Tom, you get, well no, not get it, you don't have any kids or partner to worry about, but you understand.

Luke - Sorry, I can't go on the SDCC tour with you, Emma Watson is getting a Time magazine cover, I have to make sure that is sorted. I'll send Bethany from the NY firm; she's well able for it.

Benedict - It's a pity you are only in town for the weekend man, I can't meet up tomorrow, the weather is too good, Sophie and I arranged to bring Christopher to the zoo for the first time, and honestly I cannot wait!

Aunt Jennifer - And Emma is six years younger than you and she is married, when are we getting a big flashy Hollywood wedding from you, Tom? Is there not a single woman in all of Hollywood for you to snatch up?

It all just added up, and after over three years of just on-set flings and rendezvous with old colleagues, Tom just wanted something that was borderline normal, a woman to come home to, to actually listen to him, to just be there, even when filming was hectic. And that is when he met Taylor. She had been going through a rough patch with Calvin, or Adam, or whatever name he was going by. Tom didn't know him; he only knew he was a Scot, so he couldn't be all bad. They had gotten over the honeymoon stage of the relationship and, from what he could gather, a mixture of too much time together one month, and not seeing each other the next, and other such things meant she was out of love with Harris, and wanting something new and fresh. She was pretty, tall, and did not want a guy to foot her lifestyle, so in all, she was everything he could ask for, right?

"Mum?" He looked around the door into the hallway of his mother's home. Tom loved escaping the hustle-bustle of busy London and hiding at his mother’s for a few days when time permitted. He was only going to be in England for few days, so he thought it best to spend it with her. He would have to make a quick trip to London to get what he needed for his next bout of world touring, which was not ideal, but what could he do. "Mum, you in here or next door?"

"Tom, is that you?" Diana came out of the kitchen, her hands coated in suds and a ridiculously frilly apron on.

"Eh, Mum, what are you wearing?" Tom chuckled as he put down his bag and went over to embrace his mother.

"The girls thought it would be funny to get, and to be honest, for the job it is doing, it is fine." She dismissed, allowing her far taller son to embrace her. "Are you alone?" She looked around.

"Yes, Taylor..."

"Oh good dear, how was your flight?" Diana cut straight across him, causing Tom to frown slightly, but he answered her nonetheless.

"Flight was fine, yeah. It takes some getting used to after a private jet."

"I dare say so, tea?"

"Yeah, thanks." Tom looked at his mother, trying to figure out why she was acting so abrupt. "Is that some of Elle's Irish Fruit Cake?"

"She baked a fresh batch last night and made sure there was some for your coming home today. Why didn't you get her to pick you up at the airport, you used always give her a text?"

"Well, with the way things are now..."

"Right." Diana's demeanour turned cold once more.

"I need to go to London tomorrow, I have to swap around a few books and get that suit and whatnot from my place." Tom tried to turn the conversation around again.

"Done, it's all upstairs in your room."


"It's done, Elle did it during the weekend, she was going to London for a training day, so she took her car and got what you needed so you could rest up before you go, where did you say you were off to next?"

"Rhode Island, back to..."

"You had better thank Elle before you go." Diana gave a curt smile.

"Sure." Tom frowned. "Yeah, that was nice of her."

"That is Elle; she would do anything for those she cares for, even when it is not reciprocated."

"What...?" Tom gave a befuddled look at his mother.

"Eat your cake." His mother instructed. "You should probably take a nap and a shower too."

"Yes, Mum," Tom replied. "Is Emma or Sarah coming?"

"No, they are busy."

"But Emma said she might."

"Well she did not want to get caught up in any...she is busy."

Tom chewed the inside of his cheeks, he realised what was going on. His sister was an actress, his mother had run theatres for years, and together, they had feigned delight at his previous trip home. "Mum..."

"I need to go speak with Sarah on the phone; I'll tell her that you say hi."

"Yeah, thanks." He downed the rest of his tea and rose from the chair. "I better clean these." He indicated to the dishes. His mother simply nodded and walked out of the room.

Taking the plates and cups to the kitchen, he placed them on the side of the sink and turned on the hot water faucet waiting for it to heat up. He sighed to himself and rubbed his hands over his face before going up to his hair, noting that like before, it took slightly longer to reach the auburn strands, assessing his mother’s demeanour.

"Hey Diana, I got those carrots you like from the farmer's market and I forgot to mention that I stocked Tom's freezer with home cooking when I was at his place, so you can tell him when he comes that it..." Elle stood staring at Tom, only realising after a few moments it was him and not his mother standing in the kitchen. "Hey." There was sadness to her tone, as though she was not as pleased to see him as she usually was. "Hi."


"Your mum said you weren't due til tonight." She put down the shopping in her hands on the island in the kitchen.

"No, it was this afternoon, I got a cab."

"Right." She nodded slightly, "Anyway, tell her I called and there are her carrots." She pointed to the vegetables. "Bye."

"Thank you." She looked back at him as she went to open the door. "For getting all that stuff from London."

"Well I was only guessing with the books, I took from a pile I know you had not read a few months ago, I am not sure if you got to them since." She gave a pathetic attempt of a smile, something Tom caught.


"I should get going." She turned and left without another word, leaving Tom looking at the closed door.

"When Elle comes, call me, she has something important she has wanted to tell me apparently," Diana called from the living room, having gone back in there when she had finished her call to her daughter.

"She came in there a moment ago mum, she dropped off some carrots and left."

Diana came into the room, looking at him. "What?"

"She was just here, saying about farmer market carrots; then she left." Tom pointed to the carrots on the island.

"What did you say to her? She has been going on about coming over and telling me her news"

"Nothing, I said hi and thank you for all she did going to my place and that and she just left. She was acting weird; like she didn’t want to be here."

"There is reason for that," Diana replied. "I am going over to hers, I won't be long." She declared, taking off her apron and walking out the door.

Tom sighed again, looking around the room, which was empty. He was hoping to spend his time home with his mum, and maybe his sisters and even his mother’s friendly and down to earth neighbour. But clearly, that was something he wished for, but no one else did. He checked his phone to see there was no missed calls or texts, so he decided to go to his room and sort everything needed for the next few weeks.