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Sniper Slut and the Sex Ed Class

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Squall was in a good mood. Garden seemed to be running smoothly, Irvine had settled into life among the living again after his time in Meifu, and he was wearing a new set of shiny leather belts. He was walking innocently along the corridor that led from the observation deck (where he'd been to take a look at the newly fitted telescope, which he hoped to use often to indulge his new interest in inter-dimensional astronomy) to the lifts (which he planned to take down to the quad, where he hoped to find Selphie preparing for the Garden Festival), when a classroom door flew open, and Xu emerged. She was holding a wad of tissue to her face, and Squall saw blood.

"Hey, Xu! Are you okay?" he called.

"Ah, Squall!" she looked relieved. "Have you got a minute?"

"Of course, what's wrong? Are you hurt?"

"Jus' a nosebleed, could you watch my class for a sec?"

"Sure, you get down to the infirmary. What were you-"

She ran off with no more than a grateful glance over her shoulder, and Squall entered the classroom. He was met by thirty or so expectant faces, average age about fourteen. They didn't look the slightest bit phased by Xu's sudden exit.

Squall cleared his throat. "Hi," he said. "I'm Squall Leonhart."

The class nodded in agreement, and waited.

"So." Squall looked around the room for inspiration, and found very little. "I'm sure you've got some work to be getting along with."

There were a few quick exchanged glances and the odd whisper, and then a brave kid on the front row spoke up. "Not really, Commander."

"Nothing at all? What's the lesson about?"

"Um," said the kid, uncertainly, running his fingers through his short, spiky blond hair. He reminded Squall a bit of a young Seifer. "I think she was going to show us a vid, Sir."

Relief washed over Squall in a wave. He wasn't so good at taking class: Quistis had persuaded him early on that he was far better at one-to-one training, and he was more than happy to concur. But even he could manage to supervise a class while they watched a film.

"Great," he said, and stationed himself behind the teacher's desk, where Xu had fortunately left her vid screen on. There was the file, all ready. All he had to do was click play.

The opening credits were already rolling by the time Squall realised what the film was.

And by then it was far too late.


Irvine gazed thoughtfully down the barrel of his rifle, squinting one eye. Clean as a whistle. Excellent.

He lay Exeter back onto his workbench and carefully folded the soft, green cloth he used for polishing. Cleaning his gun was a matter of ritual and routine, and relaxing in the extreme. He tipped just the perfect amount of polish into the centre of the cloth, and began lovingly to stroke Exeter's smooth metallic skin.

He was humming softly to himself when the door opened and Squall stomped in like a person-shaped storm cloud. An angry, tempestuous sort of storm cloud. The kind that waited until you were out without an umbrella and then drowned you in ten seconds flat.

"Hi," said Irvine, cheerily. "Good day?"

"No," said Squall, scowling, and flopped down on the bed.

"Ah," said Irvine. "Trouble?"

"Not the good kind," Squall mumbled.

"Right." Irvine rubbed his gun back and forth, choosing his words carefully. "Anything I can help with?"

Squall's expression brightened with sudden hope. "Are you free tomorrow afternoon? Fourteen-hundred hours?"

"Um, no. I'm on bitebug duty with Selphie and Zell. Can't really cancel, they covered for me last week when we ran off to Trabia for the hot springs, remember?"

"Bollocks. Selphie said she'd blow up our quarters if you didn't pay her back."

"That's right. And an angry Selphie is not something I'm willing to risk, darlin', even for you."

Squall glared at him.

"It was worth it though," said Irvine. "We had a lot of fun."

Squall shifted on the bed, eyes fixed on his feet, glaring. "That's irrelevant."

"So what is this problem that I could have solved if I'd been free at fourteen hundred hours tomorrow?"

"It's nothing," said Squall, grumpily.

Irvine paused in his gun-polishing and raised an eyebrow.

"It's just some stupid class I have to teach. Doesn't matter."

"Really? What for?"

"Xu," Squall said darkly.

Irvine waited for the full explanation, but Squall was not being particularly forthcoming. "What gruesome topic is it?" Irvine asked. "Communication studies?"

"Oh, ha ha." Squall treated Irvine to a particularly cutting glare.

"So? What is it?"

Squall looked back down at his boots and mumbled something that sounded like 'semtex'.


Squall lifted his head, his smoky grey eyes promising a thundercrack. "It's Xu's class. She got a nosebleed and had to go to the infirmary, and I stepped in while they watched this... film." Squall shuddered.

"Which class?"


"Did they give you trouble? They're usually a nice bunch. Really fit girl named Caro-"

"Irvine!" Pure fury, distilled into a single word. Irvine flinched.

"- Carosa in graduation class has a sister in 3C, I was going to say . Come on, Squall I wouldn't. You know I wouldn't. Not when she's underage. And not without asking. And certainly not that young. Sheesh. So what did they do? Flick bits of paper at you?"

"Of course not. Don't be absurd. It was...." Squall took a deep breath. "A sex ed film."

Irvine's eyes went wide. "Oh. That must've been...."

"Embarrassing," said Squall, firmly.

"I remember it well. So what's this got to do with tomorrow? Is Xu okay?"

"Xu's fine. I just came from visiting her in the infirmary. But she said I have to take the follow-up class tomorrow afternoon."


"Some bullshit about rapport and continuity, I don't know. It's possible she just hates me."

"That seems a little unlikely. So what's follow up lesson?"

"Social conduct, Unit Four."

"Unit Four? What's that, 'how to score at parties?'"

"It's not fucking funny, Kinneas."

Irvine sighed, and put his gun and cloth down on his bench. "So what is it, then? What can be so particularly horrible about Unit Four?"

There was a long pause, and then Squall said, "It's a discussion class. About the film. Relating it to how members of Garden should conduct themselves. A frank discussion. They get credit for contributing."

The room was very still and quiet for a moment. Squall's eyes narrowed, his lips narrowed into a thin line. Daring Irvine to laugh.

Irvine knew better. "Oh," he said. "That's a bummer."

Squall got up from the bed and crossed the room to his gunblade case, which stood tall and just a little menacing next to the door.

"What're you doing?" asked Irvine.

"Going to kill things."

"Well, I can see the appeal in that, certainly. But it won't help with the lesson, will it?"

Squall paused, his fingers caressing the latch of his gunblade case.

"I could help," said Irvine. "Go through Xu's notes with you. If you just learn it all by heart, maybe...."

"She didn't give me any notes."


"She said I should play it by ear and it's the kind of thing everyone should do in their own style." Squall frowned. "She seemed to think that was funny."

Irvine wondered briefly how Xu had managed to last the meeting without getting any bones broken. Just as well Squall's innate heroism seemed to prevent him actually maiming his colleagues.

"There isn't even anything in the data bank," said Squall.

Irvine noted the desperation in Squall's voice. He tried to imagine Squall facilitating a frank discussion about sex and relationships in front of a class of giggle-prone pre-grad cadets.

"I think we need help," he said.


"I've got an idea," said Squall. "I'll take your mission with Selphie tomorrow."

Irvine fiddled with the controls on the trans-dimensional vidphone. "Selphie doesn't really approve of other people paying my debts. She tends to make a lot of the principle of the thing."

"I am her leader," said Squall plaintively.

"Yeah, I know. But it's Sefie." Irvine shrugged. "Whatchagonnado?"

There was a fizzing noise from the phone, followed by a surprisingly mundane-sounding ring tone.

"I still don't know what you're doing," said Squall.

"I'm being resourceful. I thought maybe.... oh, hey, Yohji!"

Yohji's image flickered into form on the screen in front of them. He was sitting at a desk, dressed in a tightish green shirt that clung to his chest. His hair was tied back in a ponytail, dark blond waves escaping to frame his face. He was grinning.

"Hi! It's been a while."

"Too long, babe, too long."

"You want me to go get Aya? I think he's finishing a few arrangements in the greenhouse, but he'd love to see you." Yohji's waggling eyebrows suggested that there might be more on the cards than a simple conversation. Irvine's cock twitched hopefully.

"We haven't got long," Irvine said with genuine regret. "Squall here needs a bit of advice."

"Squall? Hey, man. How can I help?" Yohji leaned forwards. He licked his lips, possibly unconsciously.

But probably not.

"Hi," said Squall, fiddling with a buckle on his thigh. "You look.... good."

"Always, babe," purred Yohji. "You too."

"Um," said Squall.

"Squall has a class to teach," Irvine said. "Sex ed."

Yohji's eyes went wide. "You teach that?"

"Not usually," said Squall. "The usual teacher isn't available."

"Oh, right. I forgot you're a headmaster as well as... the other stuff."

"I thought you could give him a few tips," Irvine said. "I remembered you told us you'd had that conversation with Omi...."

"Oh, that conversation. Well, yeah, but it was a long time ago. And it was just Omi. A whole class? Man. That's gonna take some handling."

"Not helping, Yohji," said Squall.

There was a blur of movement behind Yohji, a glimmer of red. Then Aya's face came into sharp focus next to Yohji's.

"What's not helping?" asked Aya.

Irvine's heart skipped a beat. Aya was as beautiful as ever; pale skin, high cheekbones, soft red hair falling into breathtaking violet eyes. He leaned over Yohji's shoulder, one arm draped across his lover's chest.

"Oh," Squall said, softly.

"Squall's got to teach a sex ed. class," Irvine said.

Aya's eyes widened. "Sex ed.?"

"Yes," said Squall.

"That's very bad," said Aya.

Yohji leaned back, his eyes closing, one arm reaching behind him. Aya jumped a little. Then he curled his fingers in Yohji's hair. "Yohji...."

"Oh Hyne," whispered Squall.

"Just a quickie, Aya," Yohji told his lover, his voice husky, eyes slitted. "They're in a rush."

Irvine didn't have it in him to argue.

Trans-dimensional vidphone sex left something to be desired. It was frustrating, to watch Yohji and Aya writhing on the screen, to see all that naked, so-familiar flesh, but be denied the touch, the smell, the warmth of their bodies. He couldn't junction Ether, because Ether couldn't feel any kind of emotional response from the vidphone and it drove him nuts. But it was a lot better than nothing. Irvine and Squall watched, spellbound, as Aya stripped Yohji of his shirt and opened his jeans. Yohji obligingly stood up so that the camera could capture every detail as Aya swallowed his cock. Irvine breathed hard as he watched Aya's tongue and lips (he could still remember what that felt like, still remember the heat of Aya's mouth and throat, the unique way he sucked and swallowed) and Yohji's cock (so hard and eager, doubtless wet at the tip with sweet precome) and Squall, watching Aya and Yohji, hand cupping the bulge in his trousers, starting to rub. He probably didn't even realise he was doing it.

Irvine shoved Squall's hand out of the way and replaced it with his own. He wanted to taste it, but didn't want to miss any of the action their friends a universe away were offering them. So he pulled Squall onto his lap, deftly opened the leather trousers and set about jerking him off. Squall flexed his hips, fucking Irvine's hand in matching tempo to Yohji fucking Aya's mouth. Irvine wondered briefly whether Squall was imagining he were Yohji or Aya. Probably Yohji. The four of them had shared fairly, but Irvine knew Squall and Aya had something just a little special. A bond.

Irvine watched Aya suck Yohji, imagined Aya sucking Squall, perhaps while he, Irvine, took Yohji in his own mouth.... and promptly came in his pants. Hands-free.

He was almost grateful Yohji wasn't here in person to take the piss.

If Squall noticed he didn't say anything. He was still transfixed by the action on the screen. Aya pulled off Yohji's cock fast enough for them to see he was coming, spurting sticky white on Aya's lips before Aya swallowed him down again. And then, just as Squall was jerking wildly, frantically headed for orgasm himself, Aya stood, shoving Yohji to his knees and came all over his face in return.

Irvine held Squall tight and watched his cock fountain spunk all over the place for far longer than should be humanly possible. His own dick was still rock hard, even in the sticky mess his jeans had become. He could quite happily have spread Squall out on the desk and fucked his ass until suppertime. Given Aya and Yohji a show.

But. But, but, but.

Squall was gasping and reaching for tissues. Yohji and Aya were similarly cleaning up and composing themselves, grinning breathlessly. Irvine heard himself whine.

"You okay?" Squall asked, concerned. "You didn't..."

"Later." Irvine kissed his neck. "We've got work to do, remember?"

Squall frowned for a moment, then the anxious expression returned suddenly to his gorgeous face. "Shit. Yes."

"Yohji?" Irvine said, turning back to the vid-screen, forcing his sex-addled brain back into focus. "Sex Ed., remember? Any tips?"

"You could show them a video," Yohji said, still wiping his face with a tissue. "They could learn a lot from our little display back there."

"Don't be ridiculous, Kudoh," Aya admonished. He turned his amazing eyes to Squall. "Keep calm. Think of it as a mission. Focus on the facts."

"And whatever you do," Yohji added, "don't get a hard on in front of all those cute girls."

"We'll talk again soon," Aya said, and switched off the connection. As the image faded they could just make out him growling, "Kudoh...."

"Poor Yohji," said Irvine. "Wouldn't like to be him right now. Aya really is the jealous type."

"They'll be fine," said Squall, and lay back in Irvine's arms. "What Aya said makes sense, but apart from that they weren't much help."

"Well, stress relief's very important. But maybe we need to find someone with more teaching experience."

"That sounds good," said Squall, with feeling.


"Quistis," said Irvine.

"Irvine," said Quistis, arching an eyebrow. "And Squall."

Squall nodded, mostly staring at his feet.

"We need your help," said Irvine.

"Really?" Quistis leaned back in her office chair, crossed her long legs and folded her arms in front of her ample chest.

"Yes. Well, teaching advice, really."

"What's the problem?"

"Sex ed.," said Irvine.

A not unsexy smirk quirked Quistis's perfectly-lipsticked lips. "I wouldn't have thought you'd have had any trouble with that, Irvine."

"Not me. Squall. Xu is forcing him to do a discussion session with her students."

Squall raised his glare from the floor to Quistis, daring her to snigger.

"Oh, I see," she said. "Well, I think I may have a worksheet somewhere you could use."

"Really?" said Irvine. "That would help so much. Right, Squall? Bound to be easier if you've got instructions to follow?"

"Yes," said Squall, looking just a teensy bit relieved. "Thanks."

Irvine watched Quistis cross to her filing cabinet. She unlocked it, and opened the second drawer down. Leaned across to search the files at the very back of the drawer.

It was totally impossible for Irvine not to linger on the view of her stockinged thighs - and oh fuck, there was actual stocking top on view. Her short skirt stretched over her perfectly rounded backside. Her breasts tickled the top of the files.

He snapped Ether into junction. It might not be the wisest move in the world, but Ether had been very upset at missing the earlier action and he had a real soft spot for Quistis.

Well, who wouldn't?

"Um," said Squall. He was staring too. Or rather, stealing guilty glances. Squall found it a lot easier to gawp at men than at women, Irvine had noticed. Must go with the honourable hero thing.

~Want.~ Ether purred, approvingly.

Irvine strode over to the filing cabinet, and draped himself carefully over Quistis, peeking over her shoulder at the files she was sifting through. "D'you need a hand?"

He took a very big risk, rendered reckless by that sight of that stocking top, and licked her ear.

"I'm perfectly capable," said Quistis, looking back at him, a stern glance over the top of her glasses.

"Oh yeah," Irvine said. "I know."

He cupped her chin in his hand, gently drew her close and kissed her. He heard Squall make a kind of strangled yelping noise behind him, but Ether's purr was louder. Quistis surprised him with the enthusiasm with which she kissed him back. He hadn't been quite sure she was up for action since that misunderstanding about her knickers and that announcement on the Garden network. But it seemed that was of the past.

Irvine was very pleased about that.

"Irvine," Squall said, with ill-disguised longing in his voice. "it's getting late."

"Squall," Quistis said, straightening up, one hand fisted in Irvine's hair. "If you want that worksheet, I suggest you come here and give Irvine a hand."


"Squall," said Irvine. "You heard what the nice lady said."

He snuck a hand up her skirt, toying with soft lace stocking-tops and soft smooth skin. Heaven.

~Mmmmm ~ purred Ether.

Quistis arranged the two of them to her satisfaction, directing their movements effortlessly between kisses and a modest amount of undressing. She bent over the desk, Squall kneeling between her spread legs while Irvine stood behind her, admiring the view. Those incredible stockings, the tiny lace panties, uniform skirt rucked up over her smooth round backside. He stroked her arse, her thighs, dipped between her legs to find Squall's tongue already there, twirling around her clit.

"Fuck me, sniper," Quistis growled.

~ Take ~ Ether agreed.

Squall just made a muffled sort of 'mmmngh' sound, but Irvine guessed it amounted to the same thing.

He watched himself slide inside her. She was wet and tight and everything a woman should be. Squall's fingers ran around the very root of his cock, around the slick lips of her pussy, teased Irvine's balls. Irvine reached one hand down to stroke Squall's hair.

This time Irvine managed to hold back long enough to be a perfect gentleman, pacing himself to Quistis's screaming orgasm, and Squall's silent one (splashing sticky white puddles all over Quistis's office carpet, oh dear) before he let Ether drive him home.

He couldn't resist pulling out, though, to come all over her stockings. It was just too tempting. He hoped she wouldn't hate him for it, but it wasn't as if he could stop himself. It was too much.

He came down to find himself sprawled on Quistis' back, Ether smug and sated in his mind, Squall sitting on the floor at their feet, leaning back against Quistis's desk with a vacant, happy smile on his face.

"What d'you think, Quisty?" Irvine purred. "Do we deserve that lesson plan?"

Quistis straightened up, tutting at the mess they'd made (with an unmistakable grin on her face and a twinkle in her eye) and considered for a moment.

"Very well," she said. "I'll e-mail it to you."

"Thank you," said Irvine.

"Mng," added Squall.

"I don't suppose you'd consider taking the session for-" Irvine started.

"I'm sure Squall can manage," said Quistis, clicking the 'send' button on her computer as Irvine helped Squall to his feet. "Surely all a leader needs is a good plan?"

But Irvine wasn't quite so sure.


"I can't do this. I just can't."

Squall's forehead came down with a thump on the table, barely missing his plate with its slice of untouched pizza.

"Yes you can. Come on, Squall, you defeated Ultimecia, you learned to dance, you've travelled in space and time. You can teach a bunch of cadets how to wear a condom."

An incoherent wailing noise came from the figure slumped over the table.

"It's a worksheet," said Irvine through a mouthful of pizza. "Just follow it. Let them do the talking."

"I can't. It's easy enough for Quistis. She's done it loads of times. Xu's done it loads of times. Why me? Why did I have to fucking try to help?"

"Okay, so... what about what Aya said? Think of it as a mission, and the worksheet as a set of orders."

"I can't. I really, really can't."

"At least eat something."

Squall shrugged helplessly.

Irvine helped himself to another slice of pizza. "We could call Hakkai. He's a teacher."

Squall sat up at last, leaning back in his chair, but he really didn't look happy. "I don't need someone to tell me how to do it. It's not about knowing how to do it. It's about being able to do it. It's not like Hakkai could do it for me."

"I suppose."

"Besides." Squall prodded his pizza disinterestedly with one finger. "Shagged out."


"Definitely," said Squall. "You know how Gojyo gets. It'd cripple me. Oh Irvine, what am I going to do?"

"We could wait until the weekend, call them then."

"I've got to teach in..." Squall consulted his watch, and groaned. "Three hours."

"I wasn't thinking about the teaching," Irvine said with a lewd grin.

"If you can't suggest anything sensible," Squall said, "just fuck off."

Too late, Irvine noticed that Squall wasn't kidding. The worried expression had converted to real anxiety, and there were tears in his eyes. One heel bounced on the floor. Shit.

Irvine scooted around to Squall's side of the table, taking the printout of Quistis's worksheet with him. He brushed a bit of cheese off one corner, and draped an arm around Squall's shoulders. "Hey."

Squall sniffed. "Whatever."

Irvine opened his mouth to speak, then hesitated. He gave Squall's shoulders a little squeeze. "You could cancel. You're Headmaster, after all. End of the day, you give Xu orders, not the other way around."

He could tell Squall was tempted. The thought had no doubt already occurred to him. But he shook his head. "That would be giving in."

"Giving in to what? You can't be good at everything, man. No-one is."

"Are you saying I can't fuck?"

Irvine blinked at him. Then he retraced the Squall-logic to a point where it made sense, and ran it again. "Of course not, you idiot."

"It's not like I don't know what I'm talking about, right?"

"Well... no, not exactly."

"I've fucked a lot of people."

"That's true."

"Men and women."


"Aliens and... not aliens."

"That's true."

"Not as many as you, of course, you slut, but-"

"Don't call me that. I have feelings, you know."

Squall shrugged it off. "Point is, I know quite a lot about sex. I think."

"Yes, you do." Irvine couldn't help but grin at him. His cock, which had little respect for Squall's dilemma and a lot of interest in Squall's person, was very hard. "But sex ed. isn't about sex, is it?"

"What?" Squall looked puzzled.

"It's about being healthy and responsible and all that shit."

"I'm healthy and responsible," said Squall, somewhat reproachfully.

"I know, I mean.... We put them through sex ed. so they don't get into trouble. You need to scare them off a bit. See, like Quisty's little list of discussion topics on her worksheet here. 'What is fraternizing and should you avoid it?' 'Contraceptive shots and why we give them'. 'Being responsible in the training centre'. 'Avoiding Elixir abuse.' That's not exactly teaching them the karma sutra, is it?"


Irvine interrupted him with a kiss. "You'll do just fine," he said. "Now, you wanna go practice?"

"Practice what?"

Irvine flicked the tail of one of Squall's belts, neatly stripped it from its belt-loops and cracked it like a whip.

"Safe sex," he growled.

Squall's eyes lit up.


The sofa in Squall's office was cramped and hard, and Irvine's clothing wasn't coming off fast enough. Or easily enough. There were elbows where there shouldn't be elbows, and knees where there definitely shouldn't be knees, and it was all just... difficult. Even Irvine wasn't showing his usual liquid grace, apparently in a frantic hurry to get Squall's cock out with little regard for the logistics of Squall's clothing, or the fact that Squall's crotch was pressed hard into Irvine's hip, not in the pursuit of friction, but because of the way they'd squashed themselves between the arm of the sofa and the huge pile of gunblade magazines that Squall hadn't got around to putting away yet.

"Ow! Fuck!"

Irvine fell back onto his arse on the floor, clutching his thigh.

"Sorry," said Squall, concerned and embarrassed. "What did I do?"

"Buckle caught on my fucking leg," Irvine complained. "Man, those things are sharp. Can't you file them down or something?"

Squall looked down at the three belts around his leather-clad thigh, each one of them bearing a smallish silver buckle, each one neatly rounded and not at all menacing as far as Squall could tell. "Did you cut yourself?" he asked, dubiously.

Irvine let go of his leg cautiously, as if he expected blood to spurt the minute he let go. However, there was no blood, just a tiny rip in his jeans, no bigger than the tip of a pencil.

"Sorry," Squall said again. "Guess the safe sex didn't turn out so safe after all."

"Hey, don't put it in the past so quick. We're not done yet."

"Kinda lost the moment," said Squall.

Irvine grabbed him by the hand and pulled them both to their feet. "So we'll catch the next one. We just need to go somewhere a bit less.... officey, is all."

Squall's mind flicked through possible locations where they could rekindle their lust, and an intriguing possibility occurred to him.

"Follow me," he said, and dragged Irvine out of the room.


Irvine wasn't interested in observing anything very much on the observation deck except for Squall. But it was a nice night, the deck was still pleasantly warm even in the early hours of the morning, and as Squall tossed a pile of thick blankets on the ground and tugged him in by the belt, Irvine decided it was, right now, the best place in the world. By a long way.

"C'mere," said Squall, and kissed him.

Irvine let himself be dragged down onto the blankets, and kissed Squall back.

Of all the sex he'd ever had, Squall was always, unequivocally, the best. Irvine loved him. Every inch of him. He loved the strong, broad shoulders that emerged as Irvine slipped off Squall's shirt. He loved the smooth, pale skin of his back and arms and chest. The flat belly, the sharp hipbones, the thick, hard cock that sprang up between his legs. Irvine loved the sound of Squall's voice, murmuring nonsense in his ear, loved the mix of innocence and mischief in his blue-grey eyes. His strength, his spirit, his determination. His compassion. All of it.

"You're looking very serious," Squall murmured. He sat astride Irvine's hips, stroking fingertips too-softly across Irvine's nipples.

"Yeah, well. It's a serious business."

"What is?" Squall took his tickling touch to Irvine's abs.

"Sex," said Irvine. "With you."

Their eyes met and held steady for a long time, before Squall leaned down and took Irvine's mouth in a long, deep kiss. Irvine slid his fingers into Squall's hair, arching up, sucking Squall's tongue. Squall pressed himself against Irvine, writhing, circling his hips.

"Oh man," Irvine groaned. "Can't take much of that."

"Doesn't matter," said Squall with a wicked grin. "You'll stay hard."

Irvine grinned back.

Squall reached for the lube and quickly slicked Irvine's cock. Clearly he really was in a hurry, for all that his fingers were steady and careful, coating Irvine from root to tip before reaching behind himself to slick his own hole.

Which was, as it happened, something that always made Irvine throb for him. Something about Squall getting himself ready, with that little frown of concentration mixed with pleasure, was so incredibly, near-unbearably hot.

Squall fisted the root of Irvine's cock to keep it steady, and lowered himself down. Paused as the tip touched his hole, wiggling around to get it lined up perfectly. Irvine found himself holding his breath as Squall very, very slowly took the head of Irvine's cock inside himself. Paused again, then took the rest of him in one long, slow slide. Irvine moaned, totally helpless as Squall shifted and flexed his hips until he got the angle just right. Then his head tipped back and he let out a moan of his own, dark hair tumbling back from his face, his beautiful body stretching back in a perfect arc. His fingers closed around Irvine's ankles, his knees hugged Irvine's ribs. His cock bounced against his own belly, dripping precome like a burning candle drips wax.

"Oh Hyne," breathed Irvine, trailing his fingers across Squall's chest, down his stomach (making it quiver), brushing his knuckles gently against the side of Squall's cock. He brushed his thumb along the crease between Squall's thigh and his balls, working down, until he reached the place where they were joined. Squall lifted up a little so Irvine could feel the root of his own cock, the slick edge of Squall's hole.

"Oh," Squall whispered. He was biting his lower lip, eyelids fluttering.

Irvine flexed his hips experimentally. Squall pushed down in time. They started to fuck. Shallow strokes to start with, couldn't move so much with Squall bending his cock back like that, but that was just as well. He may have the shortest recovery period on record, but Irvine wanted to make this last. He rested his hands on Squall's thighs, loving the feel of strong, shifting muscle under his palms, and let the head of his cock tickle Squall's prostate. It felt so damn good, buried in tight heat, listening to Squall's little noises of pleasure, watching the play of the moonlight across his lover's skin. Heaven. Pure heaven.

Eventually Squall got hungry, and the tickling didn't seem enough. He squirmed hard on Irvine's cock, an air of impatience to his movements, throaty sighs turning to grunts of frustration. Too far gone to think it through and move.

Irvine pressed a hand into the small of Squall's back, and pulled him up. Caught him when he fell forwards. Cradled Squall's head as his face landed in Irvine's neck. Squall's tongue darted out to lick Irvine's ear. Irvine melted under the touch, even as he pulled his cock back out into the cold night air, all but the tip, relishing Squall's howl of protest before he plunged back in.

He held Squall's hips steady and thrust up into him. The movement rippled through Squall's body; his ass clenched tight, released, clenched tight, released....

They rocked together on the blankets on the observation deck for what felt like hours. Slow enough not to come, fast enough to scratch the itch. Until finally Squall broke free of Irvine's control, slapped one palm down on the floor either side of Irvine's head, and started to jerk his hips. Faster, faster, a frenzy of fuck, fuck, fuck, until finally he threw his head back again and roared his climax to the stars. Sticky white cream splattered over Irvine's chest and belly, stripes and dots and finally a thick, warm stream dripped from Squall's cock. Irvine stared, at Squall's come; at his cock; at his face, pink-cheeked, tongue darting out to lick his lips and....

Irvine poured himself out deep into Squall's body, deep as he could get. The world went white for a moment, nothing but ache and throb and push , and when he came around he was sitting up, pretty much, hanging on to Squall for dear life, clutching his lover to his chest. His hands were shaking. His legs were shaking. Squall was shaking, just a bit.

"Wow," he murmured, and nuzzled into Squall's neck. "Oh wow."

Squall murmured something indecipherable, and draped his arms over Irvine's shoulders. Then Irvine's body went heavy and boneless, and he fell back onto the blankets, dragging Squall with him. After another few moments they disconnected, Squall chucking a towel at him to clean himself off. Then Irvine, bleary and sated but not, somehow, ready for sleep, pulled Squall back down to his side. Squall tossed a blanket over their naked bodies, and smiled at him.

They lay on their backs, shoulders touching, Irvine's left leg entwined with Squall's right, and looked up at the stars.

"It's pretty amazing," Irvine said. "All those worlds, all those dimensions...."

"And you've fucked on so many of them," said Squall with a wicked grin.

Irvine shrugged. "What's a boy to do?"

"Restrain yourself?"

"Ah, but that's just not me. You know you love me just the way I am." Irvine snuck a sideways glance at Squall's face. "Don't you?"

Squall snorted, but he was still smiling, and pressed his arm into Irvine's. That was answer enough.

"So, can you really see all the dimensions through that thing?"

Squall shook his head. "Not all. Most of them. Not Meifu, obviously."

Irvine sighed. Ah, Watari.


"Sure, when the planets are aligned right."

Yohji and Aya in the club, dancing, multicoloured lights playing on perfect, toned bodies .

"Shadow Lands?"


A dragon, a different Yohji and Ether.

"What about Shangri La?"

"Yeah, kind of the same place as Japan only different time spectrum."

"That's interesting." Gojyo spread out on a hotel bed, Sanzo's cock in his mouth, Squall fucking him, Irvine and Hakkai sharing the task of licking and sucking....

"I miss them," said Squall, quietly. "It's good to be back, but sometimes..."

"Yeah, babe. I know."

They were quiet for a moment, lost in memories. Then Irvine said, "what about that weird elevator that should have been in Esthar only it turned out it wasn't?"

Duo's long braid, bouncing along his spine. Trowa's quiet, intense passion.

"It's quite close to Yohji and Aya. Place called Cybernia, apparently. It's odd, doesn't always appear. Comes and goes. I think it has to do with Schwartz and their powers."

Schuldig, lying on thick pink carpet, his heart breaking.

"There's loads of others, too. Places we haven't been. There's one with this water flowing around it. Laguna said it's got special qualities, like healing potions."

"He's been there?"

"No, that's just what Odine said. I think maybe he's been. And there's a world full of shrimp. One with a talking duck and these weird shadow creatures. And an alternate version of Japan, where shinigami have to protect the living from the dead."

"Like Meifu?"

"Kind of, but not exactly. There's a lot of versions of Japan, Laguna says. He's not sure if it's just because we went there so it opened up all these others like it, or whether it has some kind of cosmic significance."

"So many worlds," Irvine whispered, suddenly awestruck. "So very many worlds."

"Yeah," said Squall.

A grin spread across Irvine's face. "Wanna go visit a few more? Once Odine's got the machine sorted out again?"

Squall was grinning too. "Could I stop you?"

"Maybe. If you wanted to stop me. Do you want to stop me?"

"No," Squall confessed. "So long as I get to come with you."

Irvine rolled over and kissed Squall firmly on the mouth. "Always, babe. That's a promise."


Irvine whistled cheerfully as he hung his hat on the hook along with the rest of his clothes, and snagged a towel from the pile by the door to Selphie's bathroom. He followed the sound of girlish giggling inside, and found Selphie, Rinoa and Quistis already in the tub.

"Hey cowboy," grinned Selphie. "You're late."

"Sorry, ladies," Irvine said. "Got room for one more in there?"

The girls scooted around and helped him get his long lanky self into the bath. He sank happily into the warm water, not even complaining when Selphie blobbed his nose with bubbles.

"So?" Rinoa asked impatiently. "Where's Squall?"

Irvine closed his eyes, grinning helplessly. "He's taking Xu's sex-ed. class."

There was a lot of squealing. Irvine covered his ears with his hands until it had subsided.

"Baths are supposed to be relaxing," he complained mildly.

"I can't believe it!" squeaked Rinoa. "Squall really did it?"

"Yes. Unless he runs away, but he had that determined air about him. Pretty sure he'll see it through."

"Wow?" said Selphie, incredulous. "That's fifty Gil I owe you, Quisty."

"Me too," said Rinoa. "What did you do, Irvy, work some kind of Ether-magic?"

"Nope. Just a bit of fact-finding and confidence building," said Irvine.

Quistis snorted. "Fact-finding? Is that what they call it these days?"

"Never mind that," said Irvine. "You were taking bets?"

Quistis shrugged. It made the water cascade over her breasts in a very pleasing manner. Irvine and Rinoa were equally transfixed. "They offered. It would have been patronising to say no."

Irvine wasn't quite sure how that one added up, but he wasn't about to get into a fight with Quistis now.

Not when he had three girls, a tub and a nice new bar of soap to play with.


Squall waited until the door had slid shut behind the final student before he let out a long and heartfelt sigh of relief. He sank back onto the teacher's desk, and let his shoulders slowly make their way down from his ears.

Give me an army of evil sorceresses to defeat. The biggest, meanest monster. Just not that again. Ever.

The door opened again, and Squall looked over, exhausted, dreading for a moment that it was a student with some awful, embarrassing question. But instead it was Irvine, looking reassuringly adult, relaxed and not in the least uninformed.

"You did good," Irvine said, joining him at the teacher's desk.

"I did?"

"Yup. Eavesdropped on the kids on their way out just there. They think you're incredibly cool. Some of 'em fancy the balls off you, 'course, but that's to be expected."

Squall blushed to his roots. "Don't be an idiot. I'm just glad it's over."

"Hmm," said Irvine. He ran his fingers over the smooth, polished surface of the desk.

"Irvine....." Squall growled.

"You can't tell me you've never wanted to," said Irvine.

Squall regarded the desk with undisguised longing. It was undeniably tempting.

He'd started to strip Irvine's belt from his jeans when the door opened.

Squall and Irvine froze and watched, chocobo-caught-in-headlights, as one of Squall's erstwhile students ran into the room.

"Shit!" yelled the cadet (Tan, Squall thought his name was). "Sorry, Sir! Sirs! I, um, forgot."

Squall shoved down the panic and dragged out his Commander voice. "Whatever it was, get it quickly, Cadet."

"Yeah," Irvine said, smirking. "We're busy here, kid."

Tan made a strangled noise and rushed, head down, face scarlet, to what had been his seat. A quick scan of the desk yielded the location of a small notebook, which he scooped up quickly and shoved into his book bag. "Sorry Sir!" he squeaked one last time, and fled from the room.

Irvine was laughing, a low, rumbling sound deep in his chest.

"It's not funny," said Squall, neatly doing up Irvine's belt again.

"It is a bit," said Irvine. "He'll be going back and telling all his friends they missed the practical."

Squall gave him a stern look. "You have no shame."

"Nope," said Irvine, happily. "Any objections?"

Squall considered that for a moment. "No," he concluded. "Let's go find somewhere safe and fraternize our fucking brains out."

Irvine scooted off the desk and saluted. "Yes, Commander. Oh, and Commander?"

Squall was already halfway to the door. "What?"

"Permission to bring the vidphone, Commander."

Squall's face lit up with his sexiest, most lopsided grin. "Permission granted. Who're you planning to call?"

Irvine slipped an arm around his waist, and kissed his hair. "I've got a little video-conference lined up, as it happens."


"Yeah." He squeezed Squall tight. "Y'know, I figure I've taught you all I can, and you've come through the teacher bit alive. It's time for a master class."

"Slut," said Squall, fondly.