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You Give Me Feelings That I Adore

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Draco hates bars.

He especially hates this bar because this is exactly the kind of dump he would rather die than visit. Only Astoria had whipped out every scare tactic she’d used when they were dating until he’d finally just been cowed into submission. But not like, actual submission because he isn’t a coward.

Definitely not when Astoria’s narrow eyed glare is involved.

Damn it, he’s not.

Anyway, they’re here and all the girls are bad enough when sober but now it’s like they’ve been possessed by the spirits of incubi. And he’s pretty sure the server for their booth (their third tonight) is about to crack and report all the molestation to the manager.

Draco doesn’t exactly blame the girls. The staff here is pretty cute. Too bad Astoria’s having her bachelorette party at a straight stripper bar.

Pushing away morbid thoughts like strangulation, he focuses on the brunette that’s suddenly stood up at their table. “Ladies and well…Draco,” Pansy starts in a voice that already has Draco’s head aching. “I would like all of you to please pay close attention to me because I am about to- get a load of that!”

All the girls seated at the table instantly whip their heads around to follow her gaze. Which is why, Draco desists and just looks into the bottom of his glass. They’ve probably spotted another stripper to dig their claws into and when the poor sod finally ends up suing them for all the cat-calling and whistling, he’d rather like to stay out of it and pretend he doesn’t know them.

Not that that’s an option available to him when Daphne forcefully grabs his chin and turns him around sharply.

Before he can launch into a lecture about proper etiquette and the like, his eyes find the source of their amazement and- okay, yeah. Hell yeah.

The sight before him doesn’t make him drool but it’s a close call.

There’s a gorgeous brunette standing at the table opposite theirs, grinning and taking the orders of the group of girls sitting there. He’s clad simply in a toga (the uniform here is strange) but damn is it raising Draco’s-

And with that his perverted brain comes to a screeching halt.

Nope. No. He is not going to become another one of the predators sitting at his table. He is not going to lust after that guy and imagine taking him home and getting pinned against the-

“Having a nice reverie there, Malfoy?” Daphne asks, a condescending smirk playing at her lips. He scowls.

“No actually. I’m not like the rest of you cougars, love.” He shoots, turning his back on the most beautiful man in the universe with a distinct feeling of annoyance.

The girl just grins at him, wide and sly and this- this is why Draco doesn’t date girls. They’re so smart and… sly. Like, evil badasses in a way that’s wrapped up in a layer of faux-innocence. He’s sure she’s about to say something horrible and a second later when she opens her mouth, he’s proved right.

“That’s too bad, ‘cause one of these cougars is taking that Greek God to Olympus tonight, hon. If you know what I mean.”

Draco winces at the terrible innuendo, which naturally means the rest of the girls laugh. But, he’s a Malfoy and Malfoys don’t just give up that easily. Especially when it comes to protecting the virtue of people who make him feel like a thirteen year old again. “I didn’t think you’d ditch your sister’s bachelorette that easily without a guilty conscience.”

“Love, for a piece of meat like that? I’d ditch my bachelorette party.” Astoria grins and the drunken idiots whoop. “Seriously, though. Only the person who gets with that hottie is getting to leave early tonight.”

Pansy smirks. “Piece of cake.”

Draco would love to step up and give them all a piece of his mind, but out of the corner of his eyes, he can see Millicent opening her mouth. This is not going to be good.

“Hey, you!” she yells at the Greek God, winking flirtatiously when he spins around to cock his head confusedly at her. Draco forces his brain to shut up when it yells ‘adorable’. “Wanna get over here and maybe fill up our empty…glasses?”

Draco drops his face into his hands.

Unfortunately, the motion knocks over his glass and it shatters into tiny pieces. Wonderful. Now the Greek God’s going to think he’s a klutz and related to the creeps. His life is just one clichéd incident after another.

Apparently the people up in Heaven agree because when he’s managed not to die of embarrassment (despite heated efforts) and finally feeling plucky enough to look up and slightly turn to the direction of that hotness- he’s watching Draco.

No wait, that doesn’t reflect it enough.

He’s watching Draco. And it isn’t the usual ‘are-you-really-that-klutzy’ look, either. No sir. This look is positively seductive- lips parted with teeth slightly biting down, eyes darkened and fixed intently on him, entire body stretched out in a beautiful display of lean muscles.

It’s the second time that night Draco has to forcefully stop himself from drooling. Behind him, Daphne lets out a little giggle that would normally sound completely unlike her but-

When he turns to look back at her, her smile is coy yet a distinctly ‘come-hither’.

That’s when Draco realises she’s sitting right behind him. Straight in the Greek God’s line of vision.

Suffice it to say, he has a hard time not stabbing her with one of the glass shards.


“So, tell me, Harry.” Daphne purrs, making the blonde grip his fifth (sixth?) glass of vodka tighter. “How much do you really like Greek history?”

The brunette frowns, a cute little crease appearing on his forehead. Draco whimpers internally. “Not a lot, why?” Said man is currently sprawled into the space between Daphne and Draco, making the former very happy and the latter… well, he’s not hyperventilating yet, so.

Coming back to the conversation, Draco notices the smile that overtakes Daphne’s face and internally braces for whatever she’s about to launch at Harry. “Oh, nothing much. I was just wondering if you’d like to reenact the Trojan War. I could get down on all fours and you could get in me.”

It’s a good thing that Draco had just finished his drink, because otherwise he’d be choking and coughing right now. Not that he isn’t managing perfectly on his saliva, that is.

A warm hand gently begins to thump his back and this it it. Draco’s nerves cannot fucking handle a hot-as-hell flirtatious guy who also happens to be sweet and caring. Nope. He’s getting the hell out of here.

He turns to thank Harry and apologize to Astoria for having to leave early only Harry’s face is, like, right there. There’s a quiet yet confident smirk on the other’s lips and his green eyes are centimeters away from Draco’s grey ones when he leans forward to whisper in his ear, “Need CPR?”

And really, the amount of interest his cock is beginning to take in these new developments should be stupid because God knows he’d have snorted if someone, anyone else had said those words. But for some reason, he can’t really bring himself to snort right now, so he just manages to squeak out ‘Washroom!’ before scrambling out to rush to the bathroom, knocking into no less than three people in the whole process.

But even as he hides and ducks into the washroom, he can feel those eyes piercing his back, making him shiver.



“Now Harry, what time is it that you…get off tonight?” Millicent asks, leaning forward suggestively and honestly, Draco is just pissed that none of his friends have a single good line for Harry. Because, come on, doesn’t Harry deserve a lot better than this shit?

The brunette doesn’t seem to share his indignant thoughts because he grins back at her, one arm thrown on the couch behind Daphne and the other behind Draco. “I actually got off a long time back, Millie. Reckon it was around the time you lot started wolf-whistling at me.”

The other girl just grins back shamelessly and this time, it’s Daphne who steps in. “Well Harry, if you need any more getting off tonight…”

Nope, Draco isn’t putting up with this anymore. He gathers his things surreptitiously, forcing himself not to listen to Harry’s reply. When he’s finally done and about to get up to wish everyone a goodnight, he looks up and just…stops.

All the girls and Harry are staring at him, eyebrows raised. “What?” he asks, congratulating himself when it doesn’t come out too shaky.

It’s Pansy that speaks up. “Harry just wanted to know where you think you’re going.”

Oh. “Oh. Well, it’s getting kinda late and I thought I should begin to head back home…”

Daphne smirks, instantly putting him on edge. “Don’t you remember the condition for leaving the party early, hon?” Draco’s eyes pop wide open. Surely she doesn’t mean-

“I don’t think you’ve quite managed it yet.”

Yes, she does.

Harry looks from her to Draco, an expression of polite curiosity on his face. When no answer seems to be forthcoming, he asks, “What condition?”

Warning bells clang in his head to stop the blabbermouth from speaking up, but he’s too late. Astoria’s jumping in with a smile that could send shivers up Hades’ spine. “See, gorgeous, the thing is all of us were quite struck when we saw your fine booty-”

“Well it is pretty fine.” Harry sniffs with an exaggerated look of vanity and the girls giggle.

“But really, it was Draco’s drooling that took the cake.”

Draco knew it. He knew he was drooling. Damn it. “And naturally since he’s been trying to escape all evening, we thought it’d be best to give him motivation to try…harder.”

“But,” Daphne cuts her off. “Since he hasn’t really tried harder, I suppose I’ll just take the incentive for myself.” She finishes triumphantly, beginning to inch closer to Harry.

Draco can actually feel the embarrassment and awkwardness rising in his belly and decides the only option of strategic retreat (it’s not fleeing, okay?) he has left, is now to make a run for it.

Only, he’s barely begun to get out of the booth when Harry grabs his wrist and starts to get out after him.

“Whaaaat are you doing?” Draco asks stupidly, mouth slightly agape.

“Seconded. What the fuck are you doing?” Daphne asks, shocked expression on her face.

Harry turns to them all with a bright smile. “Oh, I’m just getting ready to leave. Need to grab my casual clothes before I can head to this cutie’s place, you know?” he winks.

Draco is pretty sure he’s hallucinating. “Wh- but you… I don’t-”

Great. Now he’s stuttering like a bumbling fool. Harry’s going to love that.

He didn’t even say anything to you!” Daphne says loudly, making the blonde wince and cover his ears.

Harry gives her an unapologetic grin. “Why on earth would I need to talk to him when I can see that delectable blush?”

This time, it’s Draco who (reluctantly) puts up his argument. “But, you’re not- isn’t this place… aren’t you straight?”

Harry bursts into laughter. “Babe, I’m gayer than a sparkly unicorn chasing rainbows.” The mental image makes Draco snort. Harry watches him with a twinkle in his eyes and soon the two of them are snickering quietly.

Till they realise the table is completely still.

Astoria is the first to break the silence. She laughs, holding her sides and almost spilling her drink on Millicent, who’s second to join the cackling. Eventually, even Pansy joins in and then Daphne’s the only one left staring, gobsmacked.

The nice gentleman in Draco wants to apologize but honestly, he can feel Harry’s arm snaking around his waist and he doesn’t give a flying fuck about her sexual frustration.

“Well, you ladies have a nice night, then!” Harry says, beginning to slowly take Draco and moving towards the door. “Tori, congratulations once again, hope to see you soon.”

It’s only when Draco’s feeling a distinct sense of relief as they reach the door that Daphne recovers enough to shout, “Make sure you do the reverse cowboy at least once, Harry, it’s once of Draco’s personal favorites!”

Harry just raises an eyebrow at him, making his face heat. But before he can go back and try the strangulation method on her, the brunette’s yelling back. “Thanks, Daphne. Though I highly suggest you leave the rest of the suggestions on Draco’s phone. Not that he’ll be coherent enough to answer, of course.”

And with that, they walk out.


Much later, when the two are lying in bed almost on the verge of falling asleep, Draco’s phone beeps. He reaches out for it, intending to only turn it to silent, but the second he catches sight of the screen, he’s wide awake.

Message from Daphne Greengrass

Dear Harry (or Draco), I thought a lot about your last comment and decided I’m really happy you two did this. Which is why I just thought all the girls and I could sit down to make you a list of Draco’s favorite sex positions. Hope you two enjoy!




Yeah, Draco hates bars.

But he hates his friends much more.