Work Header

Sneaking into Bossbot HQ

Work Text:

It was around late midnight, many of the high ranking bossbots were inside the clubhouse hosting a banquet in honor of reaching a wondrous milestone in their careers. High class jazz music can be heard playing outside, making it seem like it was a celebration for ages to come.

While this was going on, a few stood outside on guard duty watching over for any intruders that happen to be around during this time. Toons might be on the prowl, so they all did their best to watch their backs and listen for every movement.



At the entrance to the HQ where no security was present, two cogs hid behind the tall columns that made the foundation for the opening hedge. The taller, lanky one with the hat carried a big sack bag up their shoulder as they pointed towards the nearest spot.

“Ok, Cans. Let's go over to that golf cart right over there where it says, ‘Front Three’. I’ll set up the bag right behind the back seat while I go hide in that golf bag hanging off from the side.”

The short change grumbled. “I’m starting to regret coming here, I don’t want to get caught.” He coughed somewhat. “This place also reeks of oil, Ozzy. Smells really foul and salty.”

He gave a quick nudge towards the smaller cog’s head. “Come on! You want a place where you can wallow in your self pity, well here it is! I would take you to the factory instead, but you probably wouldn’t stand a chance against the constant smoke and loud noises over there.” The chaser quickly jumped ahead of him. “Now come on! Let's go!”

Cans shrugged before following along. “Fine, I guess...”



They quickly reached to the cart vehicle where Ozzy settles the large sack down before hopping right into an open golf bag. “Quickly! Someone’s gonna be here soon!” he frantically whispered.

“Ok! Be patient!” said Cans in a harsh tone.

The cashbot got himself tucked into the sack before pulling on the string from inside the bag, tightening enough to where he can still breathe.

Ozzy closed the zipper almost the whole way through and curled himself up inside. Hopefully he wouldn’t get caught this time, and that he and Cans can go feel like garbage while contemplating how everything is awful in life.

A couple of headhunters began to walk by with their arms lifting up and down with each step. They then both got into the front seats of the golf cart. The one in the driver’s seat inserted the key and started the engine that caused some vibrations to occur.

Ozzy covered his mouth, he felt like he shouldn’t have eaten that much of that hard candy before he came here. Cans felt like he could roll off any second if there happened to be a bump in the road. Or worse, the engine gets too loud and he’ll end up taking damage along the path. Either way, they both were stuck until the driving was over.



The cart drove for about a few minutes before parking close to an open field next to a garden maze. The engine stop as the two cogs got up from their seats and walked away.

Thinking the coast was clear, Ozzy reached his fingers out and slowly pushed the zipper open to make little noise as possible. He then stretched his arms first, followed by his legs to get out onto the dead, grassy landscape. After closing the zipper behind him, he turned his head around to double check the area.

“Ok Cans, you can come out. They’re gone.”
The short change reached out his hand and pulled on the string to open up the sack. He let out a gasp of air as he fell onto the rugged patch of grass. “Man, that was hard to breathe in.”

“Save your breath for later.” He pointed towards the gray, lifeless hedge nearby. “The maze is over there. Let’s find a place to mope around and hope no bossbots show up.”



The duo had wandered the endless pathways of lifeless hedges for who knows how long. None of them had checked the time, and it’s not like there was any moon up in the sky to help them out. “Damn, been walking for ages and nothing in sight.” said Ozzy.

“You got us here in the first place, bud.”

“Shut up…”

It was until a few steps that they came across a nice looking area where there were four benches, an oil fountain in the middle, and several trees on each side.

“Finally!” Ozzy got himself comfortable on one of them and laid down across the hard wooden surface but not before taking off his medical hat and holding it close to his chest. “Now, let the vegetation begin.”



Cans did the same and laid down on the surface. He began to rub his eyes from exhaustion as he took all the sounds and smells this area had. The oil fountain should be reeking, but it actually smells pleasant? Like some kind of high quality perfume. The liquid also flowed in a smooth, quiet manner. It was rather pleasant for Cans to hear since coming back from an area filled with nothing but noise and destruction. He could stay here all day and chill against the cool breeze underneath the gray sky if he wanted. No rude customers to handle, no tyrannical bosses to shout at everything you do, no standing on your feet for hours to let your legs feel stiff afterwards. The only feeling he has was melting away into pure trash wonderland.



A small gust of wind flew by Ozzy, causing a few hair strands of his bangs to sweep onto his eyelids, not that he didn’t mind. He let out a small puff of air to flick them off for a second before it landed right back. All the ambulance chaser felt like was  to relax and be able to let out those negative thoughts of his flow through his head.

In his mind, he thought about those stupid toons and how disgustingly happy they were with their silly gags and spreading lots of positive cheer. It made him cringe and shiver from even picturing one. Let’s not forget those loan sharks and legal eagles. He’s still convinced they’re all hybrid experiments some spin doctor made out of sick curiosity after reading too many science fiction-horror novels on making your own monsters.  What a bunch of freaks they were.

Cans sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “You’re right Ozzy, this is a great place to feel like you're in the dumps.”

“Mmm sure,” he murmured.



After some time had passed, Ozzy let out a long sigh as he got up from the bench and put his hat back on . “Glad I got those thoughts off my chest. Now it’s about time I head back home.”

“Same here.” He gets up from the bench. “Thanks for taking me along. Sorry about doubting you earlier.”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Whatever, it’s cool.”



They both walked together around the corner to where the maze exit was to hopefully get back home and recharge. What they didn’t realize is that in the path, a big cheese stood right in front just a few feet away.

“It seems we have unwelcome guests loitering around here.”

Ozzy had his optics widen while Cans gasped and hid behind the taller cog out of fear.

“Uhh… Well…” The chaser was really shaking right now, nervous as heck. His teeth began to chatter as he gave out a fake smile.  “We were just about to leave! No problems here!” He took a single step back. “So see ya!” He grabbed Cans by his shoulder and turned around only for there to be two headhunters blocking his path. “Ah -HONK-.”

The two larger cogs both immediately lunged at the two, each grabbing onto one of the cogs as they were lifted up high over the ground. “Let me go you -HONK- -HONK- -TOOT-! I just came by to hang out! You guys don’t have to be a bunch of -AOOGAH-!”

“I knew a certain chaser had been sneaking around our ‘private’ country club. All it took was some security footage to find where you were.” They bent over them with hands behind their back as their eyes fixated on the two. “How cute, you brought a friend with you.”


Ozzy immediately had his mouth shut with some duct tape by one of the headhunters. He kept blabbering away despite it.

“You  dare trespass here one more time, and I’ll happily take you two to court. I’m sure the CJ won’t mind handing out a sentence to unruly cogs such as yourself.” The bossbot gave off a smirk with confidence forming in that arrogant smile of theirs. “How ironic for a lawbot such as yourself to break such simple rules.”



Cans was shaking like a soda pop. He was nervous as heck and did not want this to end with him going to court. Anything but that would be nicer.

The cheese poked the short change’s forehead. “Especially you, Shorty. This is going to take a big blow on your paycheck if you happen to lose, which you will. In fact, I can afford one of the best lawyers from the DA office that will do everything in their power to ensure you’re guilty as charged.”

Cans gritted his teeth and smoke came out from his ears. He felt like punching this block head in the face, this guy reminded him of those rich snobby customers who talked down to him like some kind of little kid. He was infuriating to hear every word that came out of this bossbot’s mouth.

Before he could snap back, his mouth was taped shut along with having their wrists tied together with a small, tight rope knot as the two were carried away back to the golf cart. Their bodies were tossed into the back seats where they buckled in for a short ride back outside the golf course.



Once the headhunters got to their destination, they unbuckled the two and removed their wrist bindings before having them lifted high up in their air. With a powerful swing, the two were thrown all the way back to the Bossbot HQ entrance before getting back on the vehicle to drive away.

Ozzy groaned and quickly picked himself up from the ground before pulling the tape from his mouth. “YOWCH! THAT -TWEET- -HONK- HURT!” He growled and crumpled the sticky piece into a ball before throwing it down hard. “There! How’s that you smelly mozzarella stick!”

The short cog pulled his tape off with the same, painful response. “So much for that…” He threw the tape off as well towards where Ozzy’s laid.

“Ok, so maybe that went bad. But don’t blame it on me, blame those bossbots. They’re denying us of the opportunity to sulk in the most perfect place by playing stupid games of golf.”

He fell down onto the rough, dead patches of grass without a care. “And if we do get caught, well let's say I’m the one who’s gonna take all the blame.”

“You better, I don’t want to lose any more of my cogbucks out of my own pockets. It’s bad enough I get small pay for my tedious .”

Ozzy left out a loud huff. “Yeah yeah, I get it. You don’t have to nag me like you’re my boss. I got this.” He sighed. “Well, you can leave if you want. I’m still not done moping around.”

“You don’t mind lying down over here?”

“I’ll take what I can get. The golf course is better looking and more appropriate to feel like junk, but whatever. No one is around here during these hours.”

Cans blinked and took a moment to ponder as he scratched his chin. “Umm, well…”

He took a moment to think before he gave up and considered going along with it. He soon fell face down onto the pokey grass blades. “Might as well finish what we started.”