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Ada Lovelace

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Erin’s porn searches have gone from a simple, hesitant click on a ‘category’ link to Really Fucking Specific in nearly no time at all.

 

She didn’t even know that she had such preferences when it comes to this type of porn. She’d never even ventured into it until recently. She still doesn’t even know what it was that she was looking for. If she was looking for anything at all. It was just curiosity that led her here. Simple curiosity.

 

But it turned into much more.

 

Truthfully, her previous experiences with porn are minimal. She’s always had a hard time finding anything that she likes. Watching a girl suck a dick for twenty minutes and then get fucked by one for five has just...never done it for her. And variations of that is all she’s ever been able to find. Until now.

 

It’s less demeaning, she tells herself. It doesn’t necessarily mean anything. Plenty of women who aren’t lesbians watch lesbian porn. It is perfectly normal.

 

Although, her Really Fucking Specific searches do worry her somewhat. Not in the moment. In the moment, she does not care at all. It’s only after she comes, the porn still playing on her laptop, the search results for “blonde lesbian passionate sex” still open in another tab -- likely on the third, fourth, fifth pages of results, a result of her scrolling through, nothing on the first few pages catching her attention, looking for something with her specifications: a blonde, definitely, preferably with a dark-haired girl, preferably with the blonde on top, preferably not made solely for the enjoyment of men, preferably HD, no cheesy music, preferably no dialogue, no over-the-top fake moaning, preferably… a scene where she can squint and imagine that it’s her and….

 

Nope.

 

Nope. Nope. Nope.

 

She doesn’t know how this happened. She didn’t even know that it was happening until it was happening. The first time that she squinted and imagined that the blonde in the video was Holtz, and that she was the brunette having two fingers rhythmically pushed into her…. It startled her, at first. And afterwards, the guilt crept up fast and didn’t go away. But it happened again and again.

 

And it’s happening again.

 

She looks through the results of her search, goes to the next page, to the next, hovers her mouse over a video, looks at the stills that it previews. There’s a blonde. Her body type is even similar to Holtz’s. She’s with a brunette with significantly larger breasts than Erin’s, but she thinks that she can let that slide. She clicks on the video, opening it in a new (private) tab.

 

The video quality isn’t great, but everything else seems to meet her very high standards. There’s no needless talking or pointless storyline. It just jumps right into it, the two women in their underwear, already kissing. Erin settles back onto her pillow, adjusting her laptop screen so that she can see it better, switches her vibrator on.

 

She finds herself focusing on the blonde. She usually does, but this time especially. She reminds her of Holtz, and not just when she squints. Her hair is long and hangs loose over her shoulders, and that’s unlike Holtz, but everything else…. Her body, now completely bare in the video (not that Erin has seen Holtz’s naked body, but she’s pretty good at imagining), and her face…. Her tongue is moving against the brunette’s nipple when Erin notices the blue eyes, heavily lined in black eyeliner and mascara -- nearly the exact same shade of blue as Holtz’s. She’s kissing her way down the woman’s stomach when Erin notices the shape of her nose -- nearly the exact same shape as Holtz’s.

 

She watches as she goes down on the brunette, and the camera zooms in on her, shows the way she sucks at her clit, pumping her fingers into her, and the face, the blue eyes, the nose -- the resemblance is only turning her on even more. It’s when the brunette comes, and the blonde pulls away, the camera showing her entire face rather than just her profile, and she smiles, dimples forming in her cheeks, the left one slightly deeper than the right, and Erin sees the freckle at the corner of one eye, and the realization hits her, and barely a second later, so does her orgasm. It’s sudden and unexpected (both the realization and the orgasm) and it causes a strangled sort of moan to tear from her lips, and she barely allows herself to enjoy it before she switches her vibrator off, frantically reaching towards her laptop to pause the video, her heart racing, breaths unsteady, and she stares at the paused video, paused right on her face.

 

She stares.

 

And it’s her. Unmistakably. It’s her.

 

She’s younger. Clearly. Much younger. And her hair is long, not tied up, and she’s wearing a lot of makeup, but it’s her. The eyes, the nose, the lips, the smile, the dimples, the freckle… It’s her.

 

Erin keeps staring at the paused video, can’t tear her eyes away, and there are a lot of things that she’s feeling -- shock, surprise, guilt, but mostly she’s really fucking turned on. Which just makes her feel even more guilty because this is her friend. Her coworker. And she’s in a porn video and Erin shouldn’t watch it -- at least, she shouldn’t watch more of it. It’s a thirteen-minute long video, and she’s only six minutes in. She’s still trying to process the whole thing. Holtz. Porn. Holtz. Porn. Holtz in porn. Holtz did porn. Holtz did porn. Holtz did porn.

 

She knows she shouldn’t watch it. She knows that she’s probably breaking a whole ton of unspoken rules about friends and boundaries and what the appropriate response is to accidentally finding your friend’s porn video, but she can’t stop herself. She starts the video over from the very beginning.

 

She pays closer attention, focuses on Holtz, watches her, the way that she kisses, the way that she runs her fingers through the other woman’s hair, the way that she touches her, the way she moves down her body. Erin’s vibrator sits abandoned beside her. She doesn’t allow herself to reach for it, knows that that is a line that she should not cross. But there is a steady throbbing between her legs, and when the video reaches the part where Holtz goes down on the woman, Erin touches herself because she’s certain that she will explode if she doesn’t.

 

And it’s wrong. It’s so, so, so wrong, and she knows that, but she’s watching Holtz -- Holtz -- eating somebody out, and all she’s thinking about is how badly she wants Holtz to eat her out, and she’s watching it, watching Holtz’s mouth, Holtz’s fingers, imagining her mouth and fingers doing those things to her , and she comes again, and it’s less than six minutes into the video still, and she misses a minute or so of it as her second orgasm courses through her body. When she looks at the video again, Holtz and the woman are kissing, and then the woman is touching Holtz, and Holtz moans and it’s like goddamn music, and Erin wants to listen to Holtz moaning all the fucking time, and Holtz is on her back, her legs falling open, and Erin can’t breathe , lets out an involuntary and animalistic groan at the sight, and she wants, wants.

 

She watches with a slightly opened mouth, breaths coming out ragged and shaky, resists the urge to touch herself again, instead rolls onto her stomach, bunches her bedsheet up beneath her, rocks her hips into the mattress.

 

She watches Holtz come and it’s beautiful and she needs more, finally gives in and grabs for her vibrator, pressing it between her legs, and she ends up coming for the third time before the video is even over.

 

*

 

She avoids looking at Holtz. She has to avoid looking at Holtz. The minute she lets herself look at her, she ends up staring, unable to tear her eyes away. So she can’t look at her. At all.

 

It’s been three days since she found The Video. It’s all she can think about. She can’t focus on her work. When she looks at the equations in front of her, they swim out of focus, just a blur of numbers while her mind keeps replaying certain parts of the video. She’s lost count of how many times she’s watched it. How many times she’s gone back to rewatch specific moments. How many orgasms she’s had while watching it.

 

She wonders if she’s the only one who knows. She wonders if Holtz has ever told Abby or Patty. She wonders just how secret this secret is.

 

She’s staring at Holtz. She can’t even remember when she first looked at her, but now she’s staring, and she’s working on something, her hands moving, and she stares at her hands, her fingers, thinks about her fingers….

 

She stands up abruptly, accidentally knocking a small stack of books to the floor, and she hears Holtz call something out to her, but doesn’t pay attention, just quickly picks up the books, throws them onto the table, and runs from the second floor. Why is she even on the second floor, anyways? Why did she do that to herself? It wasn’t really planned, never really discussed, she just ended up there so often that it became her space where she did her work.

 

But now she can’t be there because Holtz is there and she keeps staring at Holtz, keeps thinking about Holtz in ways that she should not be thinking about her, and she can’t be there.

 

*

 

“Do you know anybody who’s ever done porn?”

 

One week. It’s been one whole week.

 

Abby raises an eyebrow. If anybody else would know, it would be Abby. She’s known Holtz the longest. If any of them knew about it before Erin found it, it would be Abby.

 

“Thinking of switching careers?” Abby asks. Erin rolls her eyes.

 

“No. I was just wondering,” she says with a shrug. “I saw a documentary a couple days ago. On Netflix. About, um, the industry.”

 

She’s not actually lying. She did see that a documentary about the porn industry existed on Netflix a while back. She never actually watched it. But she saw that it was there.

 

“I do, actually.”

 

“Really?” she asks. “Who?”

 

“This guy, he’s a friend of a friend, he was in the gay porn business for a while,” she says.

 

“Oh,” Erin frowns, slumping back in her chair.

 

“Does that disappoint you?” Abby laughs.

 

“No,” she lies. “I just. I mean. Do you know any women who’ve done porn?”

 

“Not that I know of,” she answers, sounding vaguely confused by the questions. Erin can tell that she’s telling the truth. But still, she can’t help but push a bit further.

 

“If any of us -- like, you, me, Patty, and Holtz -- out of the four of us, who do you think would be most likely to do porn?” she asks, and she’s trying so hard to sound like it’s just a silly question, a sort of game. She doesn’t know how well it’s working. But Abby laughs loudly.

 

“Um. What?!”

 

“Just go with me here!” Erin encourages with a smile. “Who do you think would do it?!”

 

“Oh my god,” she laughs, shaking her head. “Well, definitely not you. Definitely not Holtzmann--”

 

“Really? Not Holtz? Why not?”

 

“Seriously? Can you imagine Holtz in a porno?”

 

Erin tries hard not to blush.

 

“It doesn’t have to be straight porn,” she comments.

 

“Doesn’t matter,” Abby shakes her head. “I can’t see it. I mean, if I’m being entirely honest here, I think I’d be the most likely. Is that weird for me to say? I wouldn’t ever, but out of the four of us…”

 

She shrugs and laughs. Erin laughs, too.

 

*

 

She hates this. She hates whoever’s idea it was to get fucking ice cream. And she hates herself for going along, for agreeing so easily when Holtz told her that they were taking an ice cream break and that she needed to come right now and then grabbed her by the hand and pulled her downstairs.

 

And yeah, sure, it’s one of the first hot days of the year and ice cream sounds great and all, but Holtz is licking and Erin is staring and it’s too fucking much and she’s getting way too turned on in this ice cream parlor, and Abby, Patty, and Holtz are all talking about something, but Erin is completely spaced out, staring at Holtz’s mouth, her tongue, the way she licks, and she’s way too fucking turned on.

 

Holtz’s mouth moves, saying something, but Erin isn’t listening. Her mouth moves and then she’s holding a napkin out towards Erin, and she’s looking at her, laughing, and Erin snaps back to reality, realizing that Holtz’s mouth was moving because she was saying something to her.

 

“Huh? What?”

 

“You’re dripping,” Holtz tells her, grinning, an amused twinkle in her eye, and Erin’s mind is so far in the gutter that she’s taken aback at first, doesn’t quite understand what Holtz is saying, stares at her some more, and then Holtz laughs again, reaches across the table with the napkin and runs it up Erin’s arm. She looks down, finally noticing the steady trickle of strawberry ice cream running all the way down her arm from the forgotten cone in her hand.

 

“Oh,” she laughs, and quickly takes the napkin from Holtz’s hand. Holtz continues to smile, but squints her eyes slightly, tilts her head, and then turns back to her conversation with Abby and Patty.

 

*

 

“You’ve been acting weird.”

 

“I, uh. I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Erin says, not looking up from what she’s working on. She had noticed Holtz walking in her direction, hoped that she was going past her, but she’s standing right in front of her, looking at her, and Erin keeps her eyes focused anywhere else but on Holtz.

 

“Only around me.”

 

She says nothing.

 

“Did I do something?”

 

“No,” she shakes her head.

 

“Because you keep leaving rooms every time we end up in one alone together,” she says.

 

“That’s. It’s not-- it’s. It’s nothing. We’re alone right now, aren’t we?”

 

“Yeah. Completely. And you’re not looking at me. But sometimes you’re staring at me. You’re either staring at me or avoiding me or running out of the room. It’s a little weird. Even for you.”

 

“It’s nothing,” Erin says again, a bit more forcefully, finally looking up at her, and she regrets it immediately, because Holtz is looking at her, her eyebrows furrowed together in confusion and...hurt?

 

“Okay,” Holtz says, frowning. “I’m sorry if I...did something.”

 

“You didn’t do anything, Holtz,” she sighs, dropping her head into her hands.

 

“I didn’t? So you acting weird isn’t my fault?” she asks, considerably more cheerful.

 

“No. Yes. No. I don’t know,” she admits, shaking her head, and this isn’t a conversation that she wants to be having.

 

“Well, that clears things up.”

 

“It’s nothing, okay? It’s really nothing,” she says, looking up at her again, and Holtz is smiling now, and she almost looks smug , and Erin wants to hit her and kiss her at the exact same time and she hates it.

 

“Okay,” Holtz shrugs. “But if you want to talk about whatever it actually is...we can do that.”

 

Erin continues to look at her, and she’s falling into the same trap that she’s been falling into for the past eleven days since she first found The Video, and her eyes focus on her mouth, and she’s staring again, and Holtz is smiling, Erin knows that she notices that she’s staring again, she forces herself to stop, tears her eyes away, looks down again.

 

“Erin?”

 

“I saw something,” she blurts out, and her heart is suddenly racing, and she looks up again, and Holtz is still fucking smiling, looking far too amused.

 

“What did you see? A ghost?!” she asks with widening eyes.

 

“No,” Erin says. “I mean, well, yes, obviously, but you-- you-- No.”

 

“Okay,” Holtz laughs. “What did you see?”

 

“I’ve never seen you with your hair down,” Erin says, and it isn’t an answer to the question, but she’s looking at Holtz with her hair all twisted up in the back, and she’s thinking about the Holtz in the video with the long blonde hair, and she’s never seen her with her hair down in real life.

 

“Well, uh, when working with fire and other hazardous materials, I’ve found it best to keep it out of the way,” she explains.

 

“Yeah, no, I know,” Erin nods. “It’s just. It looks pretty down. Would look pretty down. Probably. I don’t know. I wouldn’t know.”

 

“This...is about not seeing me with my hair down?”

 

“No.”

 

“Because I can wear my hair down for a day if you really want me to.”

 

“I saw your video.”

 

“Okay,” she laughs. “What video are you referring to?”

 

She doesn’t know how to answer. She just looks at her, and Holtz looks back, her eyebrows raised slightly, smiling, waiting for an answer.

 

“Um,” Erin mumbles, and there’s no way that she can say it. She wants to disappear, to go back in time and find a way out of this situation, and she regrets every single thing that has come out of her mouth, every single thing that has led her to this moment, and she can’t say it.

 

Several silent seconds pass between them, and Holtz is staring at her, and Erin sees the exact moment that she realizes what she’s talking about. The smile slides from her face, her eyes widen, her entire body seems to go rigid.

 

“Erin?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“What… what video are you referring to?” she asks again, her voice low, but Erin can’t say it. She shakes her head. “What video, Erin?”

 

“Do you need me to say it?” she squeaks out. “Because I think you know.”

 

“I need you to say it,” she says. “I need you to say it because I won’t believe it until you say it.”

 

She shakes her head again.

 

“Erin.”

 

“Porn,” she barely whispers. Holtz closes her eyes, letting out a long, low breath, her face turning a shade of pink, and then she opens her eyes again, takes a deep breath in, and then grabs for a nearby chair, pulling it towards her, sitting down directly in front of Erin.

 

“How many did you see?” she asks, speaking slowly and deliberately.

 

“There’s more than one?” Erin gasps out. Holtz raises her eyebrows, and then shakes her head.

 

“No. No, um. Just the one. There’s just one,” she attempts to backtrack, but it’s too late.

 

“Holtz, how many are there?”

 

“Two?” she lies. It’s obvious that she’s lying.

 

“Holtz,” Erin says. “How many?”

 

“...Twelve?”

 

Twelve?!”

 

“Look, it’s,” she begins, shaking her head, closing her eyes again for a moment, sighing. “It’s not something that I’m proud of…. But I’m not ashamed of it, either. I found myself in a situation where I needed a lot of money in a short amount of time or I was gonna be kicked out of school. I was only ever gonna do it just the one time, but… the money was good and the work was… enjoyable. So I did it again. A few more times. And...I paid off my student loans and graduated debt-free and… I don’t really regret that at all.”

 

“It’s. I’m not… You don’t need to explain yourself,” Erin tells her. “I’m not judging you at all, I just….”

 

“Right, yeah, no, it’s…,” Holtz shrugs. “I just wanted you to know that that’s...why I did it.”

 

“Okay,” she says because she doesn’t know what else to say, stares down at her own hands, picks at a fingernail.

 

“How did you find it?”

 

She freezes. It’s her turn to blush now. She feels the heat rising to her face, can’t move, can’t look at her.

 

Oh ,” Holtz says.

 

“Don’t...say anything,” Erin mumbles, burying her face in her hands, and Holtz laughs softly.

 

“Hold on, you are the one that’s embarrassed right now? Embarrassed for watching porn? Erin, everybody watches porn. There’s no reason to be embarrassed about that.”

 

“That is not entirely true. Not everybody.

 

“Okay, fine, but a lot of people.”

 

“I’m not embarrassed about watching porn,” she insists.

 

“Do you...always watch lesbian porn?”

 

“Please stop,” she grumbles.

 

“So, um, did you, uh... watch it?”

 

“Holtz. Please.”

 

“You did.”

 

“Oh my god.”

 

“The whole thing?”

 

“No,” she shakes her head. “I didn’t realize that it was you at first. As soon as I realized, I….”

 

“You…?”

 

Erin finally glances up at her, looking at her face, the way she leans her chin on her hand, propped up on her elbow, her lips turned up into a teasing sort of smile.

 

“I watched it,” she admits. “All of it. More than once.”

 

“How many times?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“Meaning that you’ve...lost count?”

 

“Yes,” she replies. “I’ve lost count. And I’ve gone through so many batteries. I’ve had to buy batteries twice in the past week. I bought them at the same place. Same guy rang me up both times. I know he knows what I’m using those batteries for. He gave me a look. I guess it’s my own fault for only buying the two-pack the first time, but I thought it would be enough, but it wasn’t because I can’t stop watching it.”

 

“Holy shit.”

 

“I’m sorry. It started out as an accident, I honestly didn’t know that it was you at first, and then it just got really out of hand, and now I can’t look at you because when I look at you all I can think about is that, and the way you...do...things, and, and, and--”

 

“Erin,” she interrupts. “Um. Yeah, so, I’m gonna ask you something and I apologize in advance if it offends you or makes you uncomfortable, okay?”

 

“What?”

 

“Do you want to have sex with me?”

 

Erin feels like all of the air leaves her body at once.

 

“Is,” she begins breathlessly. “Is that...a question...or an offer?”

 

“Depends on the answer, I guess,” she says with a shrug.

 

“Yes,” she says before her brain has a chance to catch up with her.

 

“Right now?”

 

Yes .”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Sure. You want to. I want to.”

 

“You do?”

 

“Obviously. I offered, didn’t I? Wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t into it.”

 

“But…,” Erin says, considering it. She wants it. She wants it so badly. But she hesitates. “Don’t you think that it might make things...weird between us? Mess up a friendship or whatever?”

 

“Maybe,” Holtz says. “But you’ve seen me in a porn video and you just admitted to me that you’ve been masturbating to that video, and we kind of just told each other that we wanna have sex with each other, so I think we might already be past the point of making things weird between us.”

 

She has a point.

 

“But,” she shrugs. “If you think it’s a bad idea, then I can respect that. It’s just that...I know that you get off to me now. And now you know that there are more videos of me out there… and I have a feeling that you might try to tell yourself that you won’t go looking for them, but you’ll eventually go looking for them. And find at least some of them. And you’ll watch them. And then I’ll see you staring at me and I’ll know why, and that’ll get me all worked up, and you’ll already be all worked up, and...I just see a whole lot of sexual tension in our future.”

 

Again, she has a point.

 

“Having sex could mess up our friendship, but not having sex might do the same thing.”

 

“Our friendship isn’t even that great,” Erin says. “I mean. If we’re being honest here… Our friendship is… I don’t even like you as a friend that much. I think you’re kind of annoying.”

 

“Oh,” Holtz says, sounding slightly hurt.

 

“Your face, your stupid sexy face, it makes me angry. And you...laugh too much. Turn everything into a joke. It’s annoying. And I hate your clothes.”

 

“Oh,” Holtz says again, understanding.

 

“I hate your stupid ties that don’t even match the rest of your outfit.”

 

“I hate your tiny bow ties,” Holtz smiles.

 

“I hate when you wear shirts that don’t cover your stomach completely.”

 

“I hate when you wear things that make you look like a sexy librarian.”

 

“And I hate your hair. God, I hate your hair so much.”

 

“I hate your nose.”

 

“My nose?”

 

“Yeah. Your nose. The way it turns up all cute at the end. And the way you scrunch it when you laugh… it’s too… I hate it,” Holtz says.

 

“I hate your lips. They’re too pink. Shaped too nicely.”

 

“I hate-- god, I just hate so many things about you.”

 

“See? We’re terrible friends. We don’t even like each other that much.”

 

“You’re right. The friendship here is basically non-existent.”

 

“No friendship to ruin by having sex,” Erin says.

 

“In fact, if we were having sex, we might even find those things that we hate about each other to be…”

 

“Tolerable,” Erin supplies.

 

“Endearing, even.”

 

“Exactly.”

 

“Having sex could help our friendship.”

 

“I think it would,” Erin agrees.

 

Holtz stands up, practically kicking her chair aside, and then she’s striding around the table towards Erin, and Erin stands, and then Holtz is in front of her, hands grabbing her face, and Erin barely has a second to prepare herself before their lips are pressed together. She would be lying if she said that she hadn’t imagined this moment a million times in a million different ways, and the reality of it is somehow even better than all one million ways that she’d imagined combined. Holtz’s lips are soft but forceful, her tongue presses against hers, and she tastes sweet, and Erin sighs into the kiss, grabbing at her arms, holding onto her, needing to hold on to something to steady herself.

 

“Tell me,” Holtz mumbles, her mouth trailing to the corner of Erin’s lips, down to her jaw, towards her neck. “What parts you liked...from the video.”

 

Erin lets out a soft groan as Holtz’s lips connect to her neck, and she tilts her head back, hands coming to Holtz’s hair, and she wants to run her fingers through it, but it’s tied back, teased and hairsprayed, and she can’t.

 

“Take your hair down,” she says. Holtz pauses, and then pulls away from her, doesn’t even ask questions before reaching back to her own head, pulling out bobby pins.

 

“Hold these,” she says, and Erin holds her hand out, palm up, allows Holtz to deposit several bobby pins before going back for more.

 

“Jesus, how much effort do you actually put into that hairstyle?”

 

“Takes about ten minutes and thirty pins,” she answers, still pulling out more pins.

 

“I didn’t realize this would take such a long time,” Erin comments, her hand full of pins. “I thought it would just be like...five seconds.”

 

“Nope. Sorry,” Holtz says, placing more pins into Erin’s hand. Finally, she brings her hands up to her head and runs her fingers through the blonde strands, shaking it all loose, and it falls over her shoulders in soft waves, and Erin has to bite down on her bottom lip to keep herself from making a noise.

 

“Better?” Holtz asks, and Erin simply nods, handing over the bobby pins, which Holtz takes, dropping them into the deep pocket of her jacket. And then she’s reconnecting her lips to Erin’s neck, and Erin buries her hands into her soft hair, the scent of shampoo hitting her nose, and she breathes in deeply, lets out a breathy moan as Holtz’s teeth scrape lightly against her neck.

 

“I’m still waiting for you to tell me which parts you liked,” Holtz mumbles, kissing her way back up to her jaw, her hands moving up and down Erin’s sides beneath her shirt, pushing the fabric up.

 

“I liked watching you eat pussy,” Erin tells her, and they break apart for a moment as Holtz pulls Erin’s shirt from her body, over her head, dropping it onto the floor.

 

“Yeah? You want me to do that to you?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Tell me what else you liked,” she says, unbuttoning Erin’s jeans, pulling the zipper down.

 

“I liked hearing you moan.”

 

“Mmhm.” Her lips are on Erin’s shoulder, pulling her bra strap down one arm, reaching around to her back, unclasping it.

 

“Seeing you get fingered. Watching you come.”

 

Her hands are at Erin’s bare breasts, thumbs moving lightly over her nipples, and Erin breathes heavily, lets her eyes fall closed when Holtz’s tongue presses against a nipple.

 

“Your body, she breathes out. “I liked seeing your body. I want to see your body.”

 

Holtz removes her mouth and her hands from Erin, taking a step back from her, looking up at her. She maintains eye contact as she throws off her jacket, then reaches towards the top button of her shirt, undoing it, but Erin shakes her head, moving towards her.

 

“No,” she says. “I wanna do it.”

 

So she does, hastily popping buttons from their holes, pulling Holtz’s shirt from her shoulders. She looks at the lacy purple bra that Holtz wears, raising her eyebrows, looking at her.

 

“It was on sale,” she explains with a shrug.

 

“I like it,” Erin smiles. “But...it would look better on the floor.”

 

“Where has this version of Erin been hiding this whole time?” Holtz laughs. Erin laughs too, shrugging.

 

“She’s been hiding with your porn star alter-ego,” she says.

 

“Ooh, touche.”

 

“Did you have a porn name?” she asks, the thought suddenly occurring to her.

 

“Well, obviously, yeah. I wasn’t gonna go by my real name.”

 

“What is it?!”

 

“Um,” Holtz laughs almost nervously and shakes her head. “I’m not gonna tell you.”

 

“Why not?!”

 

“Because I don’t wanna.”

 

“Please?!”

 

“Why don’t you just finish undressing me, and instead of telling you my porn name, I can show you my porn moves?”

 

“I really want to know your name now, though,” she says, her hands lingering on the back of Holtz’s bra, unmoving.

 

“Ada Lovelace.”

 

“Ada...Lovelace… as in… the nineteenth century mathematician and scientist?”

 

“Exactly,” Holtz grins.

 

“That is...the nerdiest porn name I’ve ever heard,” Erin laughs. “And it’s perfect for you, oh my god.”

 

“I know, right?! Even if you don’t know who she is, it’s still an excellent porn name, don’t you think?”

 

“It really is,” she agrees, still laughing. “Oh my god. That is weirdly...really hot.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah,” she nods, and finally undoes Holtz’s bra, pulling it off of her, and she takes a moment to look at her breasts, and she’s already seen them on her computer screen, but they’re so much better in person. She cups them in her hands, and she isn’t gentle at all, fingers moving roughly over her nipples, and Holtz lets out a groan from the back of her throat and it’s so fucking hot, she looks up at her face, and then they’re kissing again, all heat and tongues, hands grabbing, their bare chests pressing together, and Holtz is pushing her hands beneath the waistband of Erin’s jeans, roughly pushing them down past her hips, and Erin is blindly attempting to undo the closure of Holtz’s pants, failing miserably, pulls away for a moment to tug open the button and zipper, immediately resumes kissing her.

 

They both pull their pants off, and they’re standing there entwined in the middle of the second floor of the empty firehouse in just their underwear.

 

“Come this way,” Holtz says, grabbing her by the hand and leading her across the room, towards the door leading to the room with a few beds and several changes of clothes for the whole team, meant for late nights of work and ghost busts. Erin sits down on the bed closest to the door, pushes herself up towards the pillow, watches as Holtz crawls onto it, towards her, and she’s kissing her, laying her back onto the pillow, between her bent knees, and Erin’s hands move to Holtz’s hair again, and she’s so wrapped up in the kissing that when she feels Holtz’s hand between her legs, she lets out a moan, mostly of surprise, feels Holtz’s lips turn up into a smile, and her fingers move against her, through her underwear at first, but it isn’t long before Holtz pushes the thin cotton fabric out of the way. Her fingers circle around her clit, softly, adding more pressure as she continues, and Erin’s mouth hangs open slightly, her eyes closed, Holtz’s mouth now at her neck again.

 

“You’re so wet,” Holtz comments.

 

“Mmhm,” she moans out. “Kind of a constant thing around you lately.”

 

“Fuck, that’s hot,” she says, and in one swift movement, she removes her fingers from between Erin’s legs and slides herself down her body, grabbing at her underwear, beginning to pull them off of her. Erin shifts, moving her legs so that Holtz can remove her underwear completely, tossing them to the floor, and then settling herself between her thighs.

 

Fuck,” Erin groans, throwing her head back into the pillow, her mouth falling open, feeling Holtz’s soft, warm tongue on her. And it’s so much better than watching Holtz go down on somebody else -- not that she doubted that it would be, of course. Holtz’s hands move gently up and down along Erin’s sides, along her thighs. Erin breathes heavily, managing to tear her eyes open, propping herself up onto her elbows and looking down, and Holtz looks up at her with smiling eyes, not removing her mouth from her, and the sight is almost too much to handle. Holtz moves her hands, bringing one to rest on Erin’s hip, the other coming around, and then her fingers are inside of her, curling into her, and Erin moans loudly.

 

“Oh my god,” she pants, and she struggles to keep her eyes open, struggles to keep her hips from moving on their own, struggles to breathe properly. She can feel the way heat begins to gather in the pit of her stomach, the way the tips of her toes begin to tingle, the way her thighs tremble uncontrollably, and she falls back onto the pillow, twisting her hands into the sheets beneath her, and she comes, gripping onto the sheets, her back arching up, away from the mattress.

 

Holtz’s hands are back to gently stroking her thighs, leaving soft kisses on the insides of them as Erin continues to pant, her heart pounding so forcefully that she can hear it in her head, muffling everything else around her.

 

Holtz crawls back up the bed, falling down beside Erin, looking at her with a smile, reaching up to push a few sweaty strands of hair from her forehead.

 

“That was nice,” Holtz says, and Erin can only laugh, nodding in agreement. “You look exceptionally beautiful after an orgasm. And during, too. Also, right before, as well. And leading up to it. Also, all the time.”

 

“Thanks?” she laughs, and Holtz grins and then leans down, pressing her lips to hers. Erin brings a hand to cup her cheek, holding her there, kissing her deeply before pulling away.

 

“Your turn now,” Erin says, gently pushing at her shoulder, forcing her down onto her back and she lifts herself up. Holtz continues to grin up at her and Erin just gazes down over Holtz’s nearly-naked body. She trails her fingers across her shoulder, along her collarbone, directly down the middle of her chest, between her breasts. She watches as the goosebumps erupt over her skin, smiles, leans down, swipes her tongue over one of her nipples. Holtz lets out a soft shudder of a sigh, runs her fingers through Erin’s hair, tightens her grip when Erin pinches her other nipple between her thumb and finger.

 

“Have you done this before, or do you just watch a lot of porn?” Holtz asks breathlessly. Erin laughs, removing her mouth from her breast, looking back up at her.

 

“I’m not answering that,” she says.

 

“Okay.”

 

Erin laughs again and reaches down towards Holtz’s underwear, noticing the wetness soaking through the blue cotton, hooks a thumb into the waistband. She has to sit up a bit more to pull them off of her, so she does, and then she has Holtz completely naked in front of her in real life , not just on the screen of her laptop, and she’s staring, and this is what she has been wanting for way too long, and she’s naked in front of her, and she sits between her legs and she touches her, tentatively at first because she hasn’t done this before, hasn’t done this to anybody but herself, and she understands what she’s supposed to do, understands how it all works, but she hasn’t actually done it and she’s suddenly so nervous.

 

Her fingers slip away from where she wants them, moves them back, focuses on keeping them there, and Holtz seems to know that this is Erin’s first time with this, encourages her with soft moans.

 

She slides two fingers into her, struggles between deciding to keep her eyes on what she’s doing or to look at Holtz’s face, her eyes closing, bottom lip pulled between her teeth. She curls her fingers and Holtz groans.

 

“Yeah,” she says. “Like that. Keep doing that.”

 

So, she does. When Holtz tells her to go faster, she goes faster. When Holtz stops speaking and her words become moans and heavy breathing instead, Erin just continues. She attempts to maneuver her hand in a way that she can rub her thumb against her clit, but she fumbles, messes up her steady movement, earning a throaty groan from Holtz, so she gives up on that, instead bringing her other hand into it, and she doesn’t really know what she’s doing, but it seems to work, and her arm is beginning to burn from the continuous movement, but she ignores it easily with the way that Holtz is writhing in front of her, and god, it is so much better in person, so much better when she’s the one doing it.

 

“Oh my god, don’t stop.”

 

“Wasn’t planning on it.”

 

“Fuck, fuck, god, fuck, yes, Erin,” she moans, and it’s the best thing that Erin has ever heard, and the sight in front of her is the best thing that she’s ever seen. Holtz has her head thrown back, mouth opened, one arm over her face, hand squeezed into a tight fist, her other hand flat on the mattress, fingers splayed out and curling ever so slightly, digging into the bed. She rocks her hips against Erin’s hands, practically fucking herself on Erin’s fingers.

 

Holtz comes with a loud moan, her body tensing, clamping down around Erin’s fingers, and Erin watches in awe throughout the whole thing. She wants to burn this image into her memory.

 

Holtz breaths come out heavy and uneven, a smile spreading over her face as she lifts her arm, dropping it onto the bed, looking at Erin.

 

“That was nice,” Erin smiles, glancing around for something to wipe her hand on, settling for just using the sheet, and then crawling back up towards Holtz.

 

“Yeah, it was,” Holtz agrees.

 

Erin lays down beside her.

 

“I already feel our friendship improving,” Holtz says. Erin laughs, her head on the pillow, facing Holtz who turns so that she is facing Erin as well.

 

“I can almost tolerate your presence,” Erin says.

 

“Looks like our plan is already working.”

 

“I’d say so.”

 

They’re silent for a few moments, and Erin can feel her eyelids begin to grow heavy, fights to keep them open, to keep looking at Holtz who is still smiling, still looking right at her.

 

“Hey, uh,” Holtz mumbles softly. “You um, didn’t tell anybody else, did you? About the...y’know, the porn?”

 

“No,” she shakes her head. “You think I’d do that?”

 

“Well, no, but,” she shrugs. “Just wanted to make sure.”

 

“It’s a secret,” she assures her.

 

“Okay,” she smiles. “Good.”

 

“So, um…,” Erin begins, her hand finding Holtz’s, playing absentmindedly with her fingers. “There’s...eleven more videos out there that I haven’t seen?”

 

“Hm, yeah, eleven. Yeah.”

 

“And I know your porn name now so...they shouldn’t be too hard to find, should they?”

 

“Probably not.”

 

“Interesting,” Erin smirks.

 

“If you can find them, you are more than welcome to watch them,” Holtz tells her. “But on one condition.”

 

“What’s that?”

 

“I get to watch you watching them,” she grins. Erin smiles, nods slowly.

 

“Alright. Yeah. Okay.”

 

“Deal?”

 

“Deal.”

 

Chapter Text

“You could do porn, you know.”

 

Holtzmann laughs, rolls her eyes, stretches onto her back.

 

“Yeah, okay,” she scoffs.

 

“I’m serious,” the girl in her bed says to her. She has an accent -- New York; Long Island, Staten Island, one of those islands…. It’s subtle, though. Just a hint of it. It’s cute. Holtzmann looks up at her, furrowing her eyebrows in a way that clearly tells the other girl that she thinks she’s crazy. The girl shrugs.

 

“You need money, don’t you?”

 

“Yeah,” she frowns.

 

She doesn’t like that this girl knows this about her. She’s regretting taking her home now. She doesn’t want her one night stand to be polluted by too much personal information. Such as her current financial crisis.

 

But then, she’s kind of gotten herself into this mess on her own. She first met this girl yesterday. At school. In the Student Services and Financial Aid office.

 

“Um, I can’t register for classes, it says there’s a hold on my account, and I don’t...know… I was told to come here,” she’d said to the curly-haired girl behind the computer.

 

“Okay, what’s your student ID number?” she asked, not even looking up at her. Holtz recited it and the girl punched it in on her keyboard. Holtz continued to stand, despite the chair right beside her, convinced that this was all just a mistake and it would be fixed in a couple of clicks. She glanced around. There were several people at computers, helping other students. The ones at the computers were students, too. Work study. The girl helping her spoke again.

 

“You can sit, you know,” she said. Holtz shrugged.

 

“It’s fine.”

 

“Okay, well… You have a hold on your account because you have an outstanding balance on this year’s tuition and you can’t register for next semester until it’s paid off,” she explained rather quickly. Holtz narrowed her eyes, tilting her head slightly.

 

“That can’t be right,” she said. The girl shrugged and looked at her.

 

“Did you pay this year’s tuition?” she asked.

 

“Yeah. I mean, my scholarships and loans and grants...all cover it.”

 

“Hold on,” she said, looking back at her computer, but then back at Holtz. “You really might wanna sit. This could be a little while.”

 

Holtz continued to stand even as the girl typed a few things, staring at the screen of her computer. A minute or so passed. Finally, Holtz dropped herself into the chair.

 

“‘Kay, so…,” the girl began, looking at her screen. “Your scholarships and loans are here, they’ve both been applied, but I don’t see anything else… it’s a federal grant?”

 

“Yeah,” she nods. “I’ve gotten it every year.”

 

“Hm.”

 

More typing and clicking.

 

“Ah.”

 

“What?”

 

“Yeah. I think I found the problem,” she said. “It looks like you never submitted all of the documents you needed to complete your financial aid application.”

 

“Yes, I did,” Holtz responded immediately. “I’ve had to fill out the same forms every year for like, a million years. I’m awesome at it. I know all the information and documents they need. I wouldn’t mess that up.”

 

“Yeah, it shows that you submitted everything for the initial application, but then you needed to submit some other stuff for verification and you didn’t.”

 

“Verification?”

 

“Yeah. Sometimes they need more stuff before they can approve it. You should’ve gotten something in the mail or an email or something?”

 

Holtz frowned, thinking back, trying to remember the last time she even looked at her mail. She shook her head.

 

“I don’t… I don’t know,” she mumbled. “I… Uh. Well, what do they need? What do I still need to submit?”

 

The girl bit her lip, looking mildly uncomfortable for a moment.

 

“Um. Well. The deadline passed a couple months ago,” she told her. Holtz blinked a few times, trying to process the information.

 

“So… what does that mean?”

 

“Um. Basically… it means that… you didn’t receive your grant for this year.”

 

“Like...at all?”

 

She shook her head. Holtz stared at her. Her stomach was turning unpleasantly, her heart was pounding hard and fast, and there was an uncomfortable pressure in her head.

 

“What… what do I do?” she asked, and even she could hear how desperate she sounded.

 

“Well. You won’t be able to register for classes until you pay off your existing balance.”

 

“How much is that? How much do I owe?”

 

The girl let out a soft sigh and turned her computer screen towards Holtz, pointing to a number on the screen. A very large number. Way too many digits. Holtz felt like she might throw up.

 

“I’ve already taken out my maximum amount of loans,” she whispered, mostly to herself. “I don’t… I don’t have that kind of money….”

 

She had cried in the bathroom after that, sitting in a stall, pressing her hand over her mouth to muffle her sobs any time another person came in. This was her own fault. She had missed the letters and the emails about the verification. When she got home, she rummaged through all of her unread mail, all of the abandoned envelopes on tables and counters and the floor, and she found them. Six of them. Unopened. Unread. She tore them up and threw them away. They were useless now.

 

When she saw the same girl again the following night at the bar not far from campus, she was already drunk and didn’t even think twice before approaching her.

 

“Hey, I know you,” she smiled. “You’re the girl who ruined my life.”

 

She fucked her, taking a certain kind of pleasure in being just a little bit too rough with her. She knew that it wasn’t really her fault, that she was just the messenger, and it wasn’t like she was hurting her -- in fact, she seemed to be enjoying it a lot.

 

And that’s how she’s ended up here. In bed with the only person who knows about how much shit she’s currently in.

 

“You could make a lot of money really fast. A few grand for what you just did to me for free.”

 

“You’ve done it?” she asks.

 

“Nah,” she shakes her head. “But I know people. If you’re interested, I can tell you where to go, who to talk to.”

 

“I really don’t think that’s for me,” she laughs. “I certainly don’t look like a porn star.”

 

“You’re pretty. You know that, right? You have a pretty face and a great body and you gave me two orgasms in like, less than ten minutes. Let your hair down, run a curling iron through it, and put on a bunch of makeup and you’re good to go.”

 

Holtz doesn’t say anything for a while.

 

“If you only did it a couple times, the videos would probably just get lost in the internet somewhere,” the girl assures her. She just nods.

 

“I don’t… I don’t think I could do it,” she mumbles.

 

“Okay. But if you change your mind...you know where to find me.”

 

*

 

Erin has always enjoyed scavenger hunts. She’s always been good at them. And this is one of the best scavenger hunts she’s ever participated in. Also one of the most difficult.

 

She goes to her usual free porn websites, types Ada Lovelace into the search bar, gets no relevant results. She has to get creative with her google searches, mostly pulling up weird things about the actual Ada Lovelace from the nineteenth century.

 

It’s frustrating. But she’s determined.

 

There are eleven more videos that exist of Holtz having sex, and Erin wants them. She wants to find them. She wants to watch them. She wants Holtz to watch her watching them.

 

It’s distracting and all-consuming. It had been hard to function when she had found the first video and couldn’t stop thinking about it, couldn’t stop staring at Holtz. But now it’s even worse. Because she and Holtz have fucked, and Holtz keeps looking over at her with those fucking eyes, walks right up to her when Patty is standing two feet away, touches her arm lightly, smiles.

 

“How’s that thing you’ve been working on going?” she asks casually.

 

“It’s…fine,” she answers between clenched teeth.

 

“Find anything yet?”

 

“Not yet.”

 

“Hm. That’s too bad,” she smirks, then saunters away, and Patty doesn’t even notice, doesn’t seem to have even registered the exchange as anything out of the ordinary. Holtz throws Erin a wink from across the room. Erin crosses her legs under her desk, presses them tightly together.

 

She’s leaving for the night when Holtz calls out to her. She turns. Holtz is still working on something, doesn’t even look at Erin, but gestures for her to come closer. She does.

 

“What?” she asks.

 

“You should look up Lana Madeline,” she says, pausing in her work, taps the tip of her screwdriver to the middle of her glasses, glances up at Erin. “Old friend. Might be able to help you with your...project.”

 

Then she turns away from Erin without another word and returns to what she’s working on.

 

Erin doesn’t bother asking any further questions. She leaves the firehouse and hurries home.

 

It doesn’t take her very long on her computer before she lets out a triumphant yelp. She stares at the title of the video she’s just found. Lana & Ada Play With Pussies Til Orgasm. She stares at the thumbnail. A topless, red-haired woman being kissed by a topless Holtz. Ada. Holtz. Ada. Erin doesn’t know if she should disconnect the two or not. Her mouse hovers over the video link. She wants to click it. To watch it right this second. But she’d made an agreement.

 

She sends Holtz a text message.

 

Your tip helped. Found something very interesting. Would love for you to take a look. The sooner the better.

 

She sets her phone down, but as soon as she does, it buzzes with Holtz’s response.

 

How about in 30 minutes?

 

She doesn’t really know how to go about preparing for Holtz’s visit. It isn’t like she’s ever invited somebody over to watch her watch porn before. There’s an incessant flutter of nervousness situated right in the pit of her stomach that won’t go away. She showers. Quickly. Brushes her teeth. Puts her hair up into a ponytail. Takes it down again. Runs her fingers through it. Puts it back up. Takes it down. Her doorbell rings.

 

She buzzes Holtz into the building. She paces around her living room. There’s a knock at the door. She opens it.

 

And somehow, just like that, her nervousness disappears, because Holtz is standing outside her door, hands pushed into the pockets of her pants, smiling in a way that isn’t teasing or flirtatious, but friendly. It’s just Holtz. And Erin feels more at ease.

 

“Hey,” Erin greets.

 

“Hey,” Holtz returns, stepping inside, glancing around. “Nice place.”

 

“Oh, thanks,” Erin says, shutting the door, watches as Holtz takes in her surroundings. “It’s, um. Yeah.”

 

Holtz turns, smiling at her. Erin can’t help but smile back. And they’re just looking at each other, smiling, as if neither one of them is entirely sure of what they’re supposed to do next. They both know why Holtz is there. But they don’t seem to know how to... do it.

 

“So, um,” Erin begins, still smiling.

 

“Yeah,” Holtz nods.

 

“Should we, uh,” Erin gestures towards her bedroom.

 

“Great idea!”

 

“Okay, cool, yeah, let’s…,” she trails off, then turns, walks to her room. She hears Holtz’s footsteps behind her. She already has her laptop open and ready on her bed. She glances at Holtz, who is looking at the computer, and then looks at Erin, raises her eyebrows.

 

“So, um. How should we do this?” she asks.

 

“Uh. I don’t know. This was your idea. I figured you already had some sort of game plan of how it’d play out,” Erin laughs. Holtz shrugs.

 

“It’s not like I thought through every technical detail,” Holtz scoffs. “I was mostly thinking about the end results. The end results being me, watching you have orgasms. That’s the part I was thinking about most of all.”

 

“Okay, well, I don’t think there are that many technical details to think through,” Erin points out. “I just--” she gestures to her laptop “--and you just…”

 

“Watch.”

 

“Right.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Where should I sit? Should I sit on the bed?”

 

“You can sit wherever you want to sit, I guess?”

 

“Okay, cool,” she nods.

 

“Maybe we should just like, um...y’know… go for it?” Erin suggests.

 

“Oh, impatient, are you?” Holtz smirks.

 

“Look, it took me a week to find one of eleven videos, so yeah, I’m a little antsy.”

 

“So, you’ve been looking forward to this as much as I have?”

 

“Yeah,” she says. “I have.”

 

“I’m glad I finally gave you a hint. I was getting pretty impatient myself,” she grins. “Which video did you find?”

 

“The one with...the girl you told me to look up.”

 

“Yeah. Which one?”

 

“Oh, there’s more than one with her?”

 

“Yeah. There’s three,” she says. “I mean, only two were with just her.”

 

Erin raises her eyebrows.

 

“And the third?”

 

“She’s in it,” she shrugs, then nods towards the computer. “So, which one is this one?”

 

“Um,” Erin crawls onto her bed towards her laptop. Holtz follows. She sits, pulling her laptop closer to her. Holtz rests her chin on her shoulder.

 

“Ohh,” Holtz says, looking at the video. She nods. “That’s a good one. A pretty tame one, but good.”

 

“Tame?” Erin repeats, tilting her head to be able to see her.

 

“Yeah. I mean, like, of the three with her… this is the tame one.”

 

“What does that even mean?”

 

“I guess you’ll have to find out yourself,” she grins.

 

“Okay, then,” she laughs. “So, um. Should we…?”

 

“Yeah. Yes. Totally.” Holtz moves her chin from Erin’s shoulder, pushes herself further away from her on the bed. “You should probably take your clothes off.”

 

“Oh. Um. Yeah,” Erin nods.

 

“Unless you usually start watching porn fully clothed? I mean. You should do...whatever you usually do. Like, pretend I’m not even here. I’m not here!”

 

Erin can’t help but laugh. She sets the laptop down and stands up from her bed.

 

“I’m not usually fully clothed,” she says and she pulls her shirt from her body. Her back is to Holtz, so when she unclasps her bra and drops it to the floor, she can only hear her response, the way her breathing quickens, just slightly. She takes off her pants, followed by her underwear. She tries not to feel self-conscious as she turns back to the bed, seeing Holtz in all of her clothes, staring at her, but it’s difficult. She can’t look directly at her. Resists the urge to cover herself with her hands and arms. She sits on the bed, pushes herself back towards the pillows. Holtz is watching her from the other side of the bed and she can feel her eyes on her.

 

She presses the play button on the video.

 

The red-haired woman -- Lana -- is on her back with Holtz -- Ada? -- on top of her, hands roaming over her body. Holtz’s blonde hair is long and curled, tossed over one shoulder as she moves down Lana’s body, and Erin can feel her breath already growing heavy. It isn’t much different from the last video -- a different setting, a different woman, but for the most part, it’s beginning the same, but that doesn’t matter at all because it’s still Holtz, and the camera keeps panning to her ass in a pair of tiny, lacy red panties, and god fucking shit, she’s removing Lana’s panties, moving her down her legs, at her knees, her thighs….

 

It’s a lot. Watching Holtz on the screen and knowing that Holtz is sitting right there , in real fucking life, watching her watch her…. She touches herself, hears the way Holtz’s breath hitches from where she’s sitting, and it fucking turns her on even more, and she rubs her own clit while she watches Holtz’s tongue move against Lana’s.

 

As it turns out, Erin has sort of a thing for being watched. It isn’t really anything that she’d ever thought much about before, but as she’s lying there, moving her fingers against herself, every noise from Holtz -- the heavy breathing, the tiny moan that she tries to cover by clearing her throat, the whispered ‘ fuck’ -- it all urges Erin on, makes her move her fingers faster, to let out moans even when she usually wouldn’t if she was alone.

 

On the screen, Holtz is on her back, the lacy, red panties gone, and Lana is going down on her, and this is new, this isn’t something that Erin has seen. Holtz moans, and the camera keeps showing her face, the way she throws her head back, her mouth open, squeezing her eyes shut. And Lana is fucking her, pushing her fingers into her fast and hard, her mouth on her clit, and Holtz is writhing, her hands buried in Lana’s hair, tugging at it, long, gasping breaths coming from her lips, and it’s so hot, it’s so fucking hot, Erin’s own breaths are coming out ragged, and she’s going to come, she’s so close that she can’t keep her eyes open, her head presses into the pillow, her legs shake, and she comes.

 

The video continues and on one side of her, she can hear Holtz-as-Ada moaning, and on her other side, she can hear the real-life Holtz fucking whimpering , and Erin looks at her through heavily-lidded eyes, sees her sitting there, legs criss-crossed, and she has a pillow in her lap, squeezing it close to her chest, one corner of it held tight between her teeth.

 

“Y’okay?” she gasps out with a smirk. Holtz nods, still biting the pillow. The video still plays on Erin’s other side. She looks back at it. Lana is sitting on Holtz’s face. Erin’s smirk disappears because she suddenly can’t breathe.

 

She hears movement behind her, a pillow being thrown aside, and suddenly Holtz is beside her, her clothed body pressing against her naked one, and then her mouth is on her shoulder, lips and teeth and tongue scraping against her skin, and her arm is snaking around, hooking underneath one of Erin’s legs, and she pushes her fingers into her. Erin groans, body arching into Holtz.

 

“I’m sorry,” Holtz mumbles against her shoulder. “I couldn’t not touch you.”

 

Erin can only moan in response, one leg flung over Holtz’s body, and she’s watching the Holtz on the screen making the other woman moan while the Holtz behind her fucks her, makes her moan, and it’s so much, she’s gasping, moving her hips, feeling Holtz’s fingers in her, her mouth on her shoulder, her neck.

 

“Erin,” Holtz murmurs.

 

“Wha--?” she manages to get out.

 

“Sit on my face.”

 

Fuck. Okay. Yes.”

 

Holtz pulls her fingers from Erin, and Erin rolls her body, turning onto Holtz, partially on top of her, straddles her waist, looks down at her. And Holtz is biting her lip, looking up at Erin, and there is still the sound of moaning from the computer beside them, but neither one of them is paying attention to it anymore.

 

Holtz runs her hands along Erin’s sides, her waist, her hips, her thighs, move back up, grab at her ass. She pushes Erin up, wiggles her own body down, situates herself beneath Erin, pulls her down to her.

 

Erin lets out a gasp, already over-sensitive from her first orgasm, hands searching for something to grab onto, settles for Holtz’s head, reaching down, fingers gripping at her hair, possibly a bit too hard, and Holtz’s fingertips dig into the flesh at Erin’s hips, forces her to grind down against her face, and it hasn’t even been a full minute yet, and Erin is already fucking losing it .

 

Her thighs are shaking, can barely even hold herself up, and Holtz is moving her tongue slowly around her clit, soft and teasing and somehow way too fucking much at the same time.

 

“Oh my god, Holtz,” she cries out, and she feels like she really might actually cry, with tears and everything, because it’s so good, so fucking good, and Holtz groans beneath her, grips at Erin’s trembling thighs, and Erin thinks that she really might just explode.

 

Her entire body feels like it’s on fire, starting right where Holtz’s lips are suctioned around her, spreading out to the tips of her fingers and toes, and her fingers are buried in Holtz’s soft blonde curls, and when she looks down, she just sees her own hands, the soft blonde curls, bright blue eyes staring up at her, and Erin can’t help but rock her hips, moans spilling from her lips, loud and uncontrolled, and she can’t hold herself up anymore, falls forward, hands moving from Holtz’s hair, to the mattress in front of her, holding herself up on all fours, Holtz’s arms wrapped around her, also keeping her steady, and Erin’s entire body is shaking, and she needs, needs, doesn’t even know what she needs, and her noises are desperate, and she comes, falling down forward even more, onto her elbows, thighs tightening around Holtz’s face, and Holtz’s tongue is still moving against her, and Erin is gasping, long and ragged and high-pitched inhales, and the muscles in her stomach are tight, and her orgasm is still coursing through her, and the sensation of Holtz’s mouth still on her is too much, it’s too much, and she pulls her body away, rolling to the side, falling down on her back onto the mattress beside Holtz.

 

She breathes heavily, closing her eyes, every single muscle in her body turning to liquid, and she can feel Holtz’s fingers, tracing gentle circles onto her stomach, just above her hip.

 

When she finally opens her eyes again, Holtz is beside her, still wearing every single article of clothing that she came in with, and it’s all so ridiculous, she presses her hand to her mouth to stifle a laugh. Holtz looks at her, smiling, raises her eyebrows, and Erin shakes her head.

 

“I’m sorry,” she laughs. “It’s just...you’re still so dressed.”

 

Holtz laughs, looking down at her attire, and then at Erin’s naked body.

 

“I guess I’m not so good at just being a spectator,” she says.

 

“Y’know, I think I’m okay with that.”

 

“Oh, yeah?” Holtz smirks. Erin nods.

 

“Part of me was hoping that you would do a little bit more than watch,” she smiles, and turns onto her side, running a hand along Holtz’s arm. Holtz’s eyes shift down from Erin’s face to her body, and then back up to meet her eyes again. She grins and then quickly leans in and kisses her. It’s soft and gentle, a press of lips, and then she’s pulling away.

 

“Well, I should get going,” she says, sitting up, and then standing from the bed.

 

“Wait, what?” Erin asks, furrowing her eyebrows. “You don’t want me to…?”

 

“Oh, no,” she shakes her head. “This was about me watching you have orgasms. That’s it.”

 

“Oh… Um. Okay,” she frowns.

 

“Well. See ya tomorrow!”

 

*

 

After finding the first video, the next two are easy to find. They’re both videos with Lana Madeline, and Erin finds one right after the other.

 

Holtz comes over to Erin’s apartment again the next night.

 

“Oh, it’s so cute ,” Holtz coos, sitting cross-legged atop Erin’s bed, holding a small, light blue vibrator up in front of her face.

 

Stop ,” Erin whines, reaching out to grab it, but Holtz’s upper body falls down backwards onto the bed, pulling the vibrator out of Erin’s reach.

 

“Like, if I had to pick one vibrator out of all of the vibrators in the world that exist to best represent you, it would be this exact vibrator. This is it. You have found your vibrating counterpart. Honestly, it’s incredible, Erin.”

 

“Can you give that back to me?” she grumbles, crawling onto the bed beside Holtz.

 

Okay, ” she sighs, handing it over, and Erin grabs it from her. “Anyways. What are we watching tonight?”

 

“I was thinking that we could start with The Color Purple and then move right along to Sophie’s Choice?” Erin smiles, leaning her body into Holtz’s. Holtz laughs, reaching towards her, grabbing her shoulder and pulling her even closer, pulls her close enough to kiss her.

 

“If that’s the kind of stuff you get off to, I mean, no judgment, but that’s weird, Erin,” Holtz says, smiling as she kisses Erin again. Erin brings a hand to Holtz’s cheek, lets it linger there as their tongues press together, slow and lazily at first, but then Holtz slides her hand down to Erin’s waist, and then her ass, down her thigh, hooking under her knee and pulling her leg over her hips, and Erin lets out a soft sigh, and then they’re both grasping onto each other. Holtz pulls Erin on top of her and Erin straddles her, both of their breathing growing heavy as their kissing becomes increasingly more heated. Holtz grabs Erin’s ass again, pushes up a knee, her thigh moving between her legs, and Erin groans, rolling her hips down, pressing herself against her.

 

“Hey,” Holtz says, her voice low and raspy. “This isn’t what we’re supposed to be doing.”

 

“Oh, right,” Erin laughs, noticing that one hand is still wrapped tightly around her vibrator.

 

"I'd really like to see you put that cute little blue thing to use," she says with a grin and a wink, and Erin takes the cue, rolling off of her. Holtz sits up, moving down to the foot of the bed and Erin grabs her laptop from her nightstand. She opens it and glances up at Holtz who is watching her, clearly eager and ready.

 

"You know, you should get naked this time, too," Erin suggests.

 

"I should?"

 

"Yeah," she nods.

 

"Well, if you insist," she says with a shrug and, not taking her eyes from Erin's, she peels off her vest and slips off her shirt.

 

“No bra today?” Erin asks, eyes roaming over her bare breasts.

 

“Nope,” she answers, and then she stands, unbuckling her belt and pulling off her pants and underwear all at once. And then she’s naked. Completely naked, standing there in Erin’s bedroom, right beside Erin’s bed. “Kind of a switch from yesterday, huh?”

 

Erin laughs, looking down at herself, still wearing the clothes she wore to work. Holtz climbs back onto the bed and crawls towards the top, towards Erin. Erin stays still as she gets nearer, and Holtz lays down on her side next to Erin, her hand roaming gently over her stomach, trailing to the zipper on the side of her skirt. Holtz tugs it down, maintains eye contact the entire time, and Erin can’t help but let her fingers trail over Holtz’s skin, down her side, along the dipping curve of her waist and the rise of her hips. Holtz unbuttons Erin’s blouse and pushes it open.

 

“I think,” Holtz begins, licking her lips. “That I could spend the next few hours just undressing you and worshiping every part of your body.”

 

“Is that a bad thing?” Erin asks, feeling Holtz’s calloused fingertips moving just above where her bra begins.

 

“Mm,” she hums, a small smile playing at her lips. “Under normal circumstance, no, I don’t think so. But I think there’s a very high probability that I might get carried away and then we’ll completely forget what we’re both here for.”

 

“Honestly, I’m okay with either outcome,” Erin says.

 

“Well, yeah, obviously so am I, but the computer is already out, Erin. We’ve already committed.”

 

“Okay, fine,” she laughs, and then sits up, shrugging her blouse off completely, wiggling out of her skirt, and then quickly removing her bra and underwear. She flops back down onto the bed, onto her back, and then rolls onto her side, pulling her laptop closer to her. She finds one of the two videos she’s found, doesn’t even bother to look at her selection, opens the page and lets it begin to play.

 

“You need this?” Holtz asks from behind her, holding her vibrator out to her.

 

“Yes. Thank you,” she nods, taking it from her, turning back to her computer.

 

On the screen, Holtz is on a bed between two other women.

 

“Jesus,” Erin breathes, watching as all three of them are touching each other, two of them kissing -- Holtz and the one who isn’t Lana -- the third kissing down Holtz’s stomach.

 

She feels fingers brushing strands of hair from her neck, feels the warm mouth, the lips, the tongue, the teeth, just below her jaw, but she keeps her eyes locked on her laptop, keeps her eyes focused on Holtz as one woman runs her tongue over her nipple and the other runs her tongue over her clit.

 

She hears her own breathing grow heavier. She’s still holding her vibrator in her hand,switched off, too busy watching the video, trying to keep up with whose hands are touching whose body, and she barely even notices as Holtz slides the vibrator from her fingers. But then the vibrator is pressed between her legs and she’s not the one holding it, and she moans, arching into Holtz’s body while, on screen, Holtz eats out the third woman while Lana rides that woman’s face.

 

“I am so bad at not touching you,” Holtz mumbles against her skin. Erin responds with a soft moan and a gentle rocking of her hips.

 

The video continues to play and Erin watches it, Holtz’s body flush up against hers, the persistent buzzing against her clit creating waves throughout her entire body.

 

“Oh my god,” she pants, her toes beginning to curl.

 

On the screen, Holtz is fingering somebody -- Erin’s lost track of the other two, she can’t really tell them apart anyways when all of her attention is going to Holtz. She’s fingering her, smiling in that way that Erin has seen her smile so many times , and the real-life Holtz is beside her, mouth on her neck, and her thighs are twitching as the build-up inside of her is reaching its peak. She tilts her head back as the video ends, and then Holtz is kissing her, their angle causing it to be sloppy, hitting the corners of each others mouths more than anything, but it doesn’t really matter, because it’s only a few second of kissing and then Holtz presses the vibrator against her even harder, and then she’s coming, Holtz’s body pressed against hers, the feeling of her soft, warm skin completely overwhelming her, and she moans, reaching a hand back, gripping onto the body behind her.

 

The vibrator switches off, but Holtz keeps kissing Erin’s neck, moves her hands up to Erin’s breasts, fingers moving lightly over a nipple, and Erin takes in several deep breaths, recomposing herself before she turns herself around so that she’s facing Holtz and she immediately reaches down between her legs.

 

She watches the surprise flash on Holtz’s face before her eyelids flutter closed, lips parting to let out a breath. Erin smiles, feeling how wet Holtz is, finding her clit, circling her fingertips around it.

 

“Not gonna have you just running off again tonight,” she says softly. “I like watching you come too much to let you do that.”

 

Holtz laughs, but it tapers out into a low moan, and she opens her eyes halfway, looking at Erin with a lopsided grin.

 

“You have videos of me coming,” she points out. “You can watch it any time you’d like.”

 

“Yeah,” Erin agrees, picking up the pace with her fingers. “But it’s so much better in person.”

 

Holtz only smiles, eyes falling closed again, her hips rocking slowly against Erin’s fingers. Erin watches Holtz’s face, the way she scrapes her teeth across her bottom lip -- biting it, but not really, just a quick tug before releasing it, and the way her mouth opens, her perfectly pink lips parting to let out gasps and moans, and the way her brow furrows, usually in the few second just before she moans, and it’s mesmerizing , she thinks that she could watch this forever.

 

When she comes, it’s with a shudder, her hand reaching up to grasp at Erin’s arm, breathing heavily, and then a smile spreading over her face as she blinks up at her.

 

“Yeah,” Erin confirms with a nod. “ So much better in person.”

 

*

 

Erin sits at her desk upstairs at the firehouse, glancing over something she’s been working on for the past few days, while Holtz is in her lab, working on something that she’s been working on for the past few days.

 

She thinks that they would both get a lot more work done a lot quicker if they didn’t keep looking at each other.

 

Every so often, she looks towards Holtz to find her already staring at her. And she’ll smile, and Holtz will wink, slowly turning her attention back to other things. Erin is much less cool about being caught. She’ll be gazing at Holtz, watching the way she works with her hands, and Holtz will turn, catch her eye, and she’ll grin in her direction while Erin immediately looks away.

 

But sometimes. Sometimes, they’ll look at each other at the exact same time.

 

Erin will look up and Holtz will turn and their eyes lock and they both smile before going back to what they’re actually supposed to be doing.

 

When that happens, though, Erin finds it hard to focus again for the next hour or so.

 

*

 

“Can we try something?”

 

“Okay,” Erin agrees easily without thinking, but then she sees the devilish smirk on Holtz’s face, and she hesitates. “Wait. What?”

 

“Oh, pretty much the same thing we’ve been doing. Except, instead of touching yourself, you...don’t.”

 

“What?”

 

“No touching. Just watching.”

 

“So...the exact opposite of what you’ve been able to do?” she teases.

 

“Yeah, pretty much,” she grins.

 

“So...you want me to watch, but...not touch myself?”

 

“Exactly,” she nods. “I want to see how worked up you can get.”

 

“Okay, sure,” she agrees with a shrug.

 

“Cool,” Holtz says, running her tongue over her bottom lip, pulling it between her teeth before releasing it again. The action combined with the mischievous glint in her eyes already has Erin feeling turned on. She momentarily wonders just how much power she has so easily handed over to Holtz, but she doesn’t think about it for long because then Holtz’s hands are at her waist, unbuttoning her jeans and slowly beginning to pull them off of her. She moves her legs, allows herself to be stripped of her clothing. Holtz climbs on top of her, knees on either side of her hips as she straddles her, grabs at her shirt. It’s all extremely slow. Holtz takes her time undressing Erin and when she finally has her naked, she stays straddling her and reaches over to Erin’s computer, presses play.

 

Erin turns her head, the rest of her body immobilized under Holtz’s weight, and she looks at the screen.

 

While the other videos had been slow and sensual, it is immediately clear that this one is not.

 

The Holtz in the video is kissing the other woman -- Lana, the last of the videos with her-- but it’s fast and hard and she has her hand in Holtz’s hair and she tugs, pulling her away, keeps tugging, shoves her roughly up against the side of a table.

 

“Oh,” Erin gasps, watches as Holtz is bent over the table, her upper half slamming into the solid surface with an audible slap, watches the way Lana’s nails dig into the skin of Holtz’s back, watches her scrape them down to her ass, listens to the whining moans that come from Holtz.

 

She swallows hard, the pressure between her legs already mounting at an unbearably quick pace, and the video has barely even started. Holtz is still sitting on top of her, though, and she can’t help but move her hips upwards just so, pushing up against her. But Holtz notices it, feels it, laughs softly and brings her hands to grip at Erin’s hips, pressing her into the mattress.

 

“None of that,” she says. Erin glances at her, sees the way she’s smirking at her, and then looks back at the computer where Holtz is having her hands held behind her back and her ass slapped hard.

 

And then her panties are being torn off of her and Lana sinks to her knees, eats her out from behind, and Erin whimpers, attempts to squeeze her thighs together, but Holtz doesn’t allow it. She feels Holtz’s weight shifting, feels her move from on top of her to between her legs, bending her knees and pushing her legs apart. For a brief second, Erin is sure that Holtz has given in, that she’s going to touch her, but then she looks at her, sees her face, her smug, smiling face, and she groans, throwing her head into the pillow.

 

“Oh, this is a much better view,” Holtz says from between her legs, moving her fingers up and down along the outsides of her thighs.

 

The video shows Holtz’s face, mouth agape, eyes squeezed shut, moaning loudly.

 

She’s so turned on, from the video, from Holtz sitting there, watching her, the way her hands trail over her skin, and it’s almost painful how turned on she is, and as the video goes on, as she watches Holtz get fingered hard and fast, the more turned on she becomes. She feels how wet she is, how wet she continues to get, and Holtz is staring at her, her chest rising and falling a bit more rapidly than before.

 

She squirms, but Holtz brings her hands back to her hips, holding her still. A whine escapes from the back of her throat, and on the screen, Holtz has gone down on Lana, and Lana keeps pulling her hair, and Holtz keeps groaning, and it’s too much.

 

“Just watching is hard , isn’t it?” Holtz asks, and Erin ignores her.

 

It goes on like that for another seven minutes or so, Erin watching the video until it ends, and by the time it finishes, she’s pretty sure that a single touch to her clit will bring her to orgasm. And Holtz is still just sitting there between her legs, watching her, tracing circles over her thighs, and she rests her face against one of Erin’s knees, smiles down at her.

 

“This really is a magnificent sight,” she says cheerfully.

 

“Holtz,” she groans.

 

“How badly do you want to come right now?” she asks her, turning her head and pressing a kiss to the inside of Erin’s knee.

 

“So badly,” she pants, and the video is over, it’s been over, she only agreed to not touch herself while watching the video, but it’s over now, so she moves her hand, reaches down, but then Holtz is grabbing her by the wrist, stopping her.

 

Nooo,” she whispers. “Let me.”

 

So Erin pulls her hand back, waits for Holtz to do something, but she does nothing , just brushes her fingertips along her sides and her hips and over her legs again, and they’re the lightest possible touches, and Erin feels the goosebumps erupting over her skin, her breathing becoming even heavier. Holtz kisses the inside of her knee again, drags her lips down her thigh, torturously slow, sucks a spot, releases it with a pop.

 

She reaches up again with both hands, touching her nipples, feather-light touches, torture, absolute torture.

 

“Holtz,” she whines.

 

“I can see how wet you are,” she tells her. “I can see how bad you want it.”

 

“Holtz.”

 

“What do you want me to do to you?”

 

Anything.”

 

“Anything?” she raises her eyebrows. “Really? That gives me lots of options.”

 

Holtzmann.”

 

Holtz smirks, slowly circling her fingers over Erin’s nipples, moving her hands down over her rib cage, her stomach, across her hips, and back up again.

 

“Tell me what you want me to do,” she drawls out, hands coming to rest atop her hipbones. “And I’ll do it.”

 

“Go down on me,” she demands.

 

“You got it,” Holtz says, throwing in a wink.

 

She keeps her hands on Erin’s hips but adjusts herself, sliding down onto her belly, and she’s kissing her thighs again, open-mouthed, moving from one to the other, slow and soft, and it’s nice, but Erin needs her to put her mouth elsewhere before she fucking explodes.

 

“You’re doing this on purpose,” she groans.

 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Holtz replies, her lips turning into a smile against Erin’s skin.

 

She brings her hands up to her face, pressing the heels of her palms against her eyes, clenching her teeth as Holtz continues with her agonizingly slow movements.

 

Her mouth moves closer to where she wants it, but not close enough. She gets closer. Erin whimpers, her hips moving without her permission and Holtz doesn’t hold them down or attempt to still her. Holtz’s mouth hovers just above her clit, Erin can feel the warm breath ghosting over her, and a single finger, touching her, sliding through her wetness, stopping just below her clit.

 

“Hey, you know what I was thinking,” Holtz suddenly says, lifting her head and removing her finger, looking up at Erin. And Erin pulls her hands away from her face, pushes herself up onto her elbows, and stares down at her.

 

“Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding,” she grumbles, glaring, and Holtz’s face breaks into a grin, and she laughs, and Erin thinks that she really might just kill her.

 

“Yeah,” she says. “I am kidding.”

 

And then she dives back down, and her tongue finds Erin’s clit, and Erin gasps, dropping back down onto the pillow. And it’s still slow, just quick, soft swipes of her tongue over her clit, every single one lighting a spark inside of Erin’s body, and it’s good, it’s better than before, but it isn’t nearly enough, and she knows that she’s doing this on purpose.

 

Holtz, please,” she begs.

 

“Well, if that isn’t one of the hottest things I’ve ever heard,” Holtz says, and she runs her tongue from her entrance up to her clit, flat and broad and just the right amount of pressure, does it again, and Erin moans as Holtz wraps her arms around her thighs, closes her lips around her clit.

 

“Ohh, fuck, ” she gasps, bringing a hand down to Holtz’s head, lacing her fingers through the blonde curls and holding her in place, not trusting her to not stop at any given moment just to tease her more. But she doesn’t stop. She keeps going, and Erin can already feel the muscles in her stomach beginning to tighten, can already feel the heat rising through her body. She moans, her hips moving upwards, her hand holding Holtz’s head in place, and Holtz encourages her, grips tightly onto her hips, moving with her, pushing her hard against her face.

 

When Holtz slides two fingers into her, Erin lets out a noise that she would probably be embarrassed about if she cared about anything other than the way Holtz’s mouth and hands feel on her. But that is the only thing she cares about, the only thing worth caring about, and her legs are shaking, and her whole body is shaking, and Holtz moves her fingers just so, and Erin feels everything tighten, she moves them again, and Erin loses all control.

 

Holtz holds onto her, arms wrapped around her thighs again, coming to rest atop her hips, holds her as she comes, keeps her mouth on her, tracing soft, slow circles around her clit with her tongue, not quite coming in contact with it, but just close enough to keep Erin whimpering even as her orgasm dies down.

 

Then she pulls away, drops kisses along every bit of skin her mouth reaches, looks up at Erin. And Erin is breathing heavily, propping herself up on her elbows, looking down at Holtz with a lazy smile. Holtz grins, pushing herself up from her stomach, bringing a hand to wipe at her mouth and chin.

 

“Y’know, I kind of wanted to keep teasing you for another fifteen minutes or so, but you made it too difficult,” she says.

 

“I would have killed you,” Erin states simply. “I still might, actually.”

 

“Oh, come on, no need for that now,” she smiles, crawling up to lay beside her. “I think that orgasm more than made up for everything.”

 

“Maybe,” she shrugs. “But I’m still gonna get back at you.”

 

“Oh yeah? How you gonna do that?”

 

“I don’t know yet,” she says. “But I’ll figure something out.”

 

*

 

Erin finds two more videos by searching for the production company of the three she just watched.

 

Holtz comes over again, sits between her legs, watches her masturbate, and then Erin fingers her until she comes.

 

The next time, Holtz lies beside Erin, slowly rubs her clit while she watches, makes her come twice before the video is even over.

 

*

 

Patty looks at them funny. Like she suspects something. They’ve left the firehouse together at the same time the past few nights, twice while Patty was still there. And they haven’t exactly been surreptitious with the way that they keep looking at each other.

 

“There’s something weird going on,” she comments one afternoon while she’s upstairs, and Holtz hasn’t actually finished a project in about four days now, which is unusual, and Erin is laughing at everything, running on some sort of high from all of the orgasms she’s been having lately.

 

“There’s always something weird going on up here, Patty,” Holtz tells her with a wink. “This is where the weird stuff happens.”

 

Patty shakes her head and drops it.

 

*

 

Erin is stuck. It’s been a week since she’s been able to find another video, has searched for every possible thing that she thinks might warrant a result, but finds nothing.

 

She hasn’t had sex with Holtz in a week. Hasn’t even kissed her. She has no reason to invite her over if there’s no new video to watch, so she doesn’t. She rewatches the other videos by herself. She has her favourites. Most of the time, she just thinks about watching them with Holtz the first time, replaying the memories in her mind.

 

Nine days without a new video, Holtz stops in front of her desk, leans against it while she looks at the cell phone in her hand, not glancing at Erin as she begins to speak.

 

“Hey, remember that time I teased the hell out of you before finally eating you out and giving you a mind-blowing orgasm?” she asks casually. Erin looks quickly around the room, even though she knows that nobody else is up there with them, she still has to be sure.

 

“Uhh. Yeah.”

 

“And you were mad because of all the teasing and said you were gonna get back at me somehow?”

 

“Yep,” she nods. “I remember that.”

 

“Okay,” Holtz says, and she still doesn’t even look at her, and then she walks away. Erin watches her go, completely confused, and then her cell phone buzzes beside her. She looks at it, sees that she has a new text message from Holtz, and she’s even more confused.

 

She opens it, finds a website link, and she clicks it and waits for it to load.

 

The link brings her to an online sex shop, to a specific product page for a remote-controlled vibrator. She reads over the description, how “panties hold the vulva-hugging vibe in place for maximum stimulation”, how it’s controlled through a smartphone app, can be operated from a distance over WiFi, and she looks up and over at Holtz who is back to work in the lab, not paying the slightest bit of attention to her, and then back down at her phone.

 

It’s expensive. It’s the kind of price that she would usually laugh at, but she looks back at Holtz, and her imagination is already running wild, and she’s feeling impulsive. She hits the “add to bag” button, and then before she can change her mind, the “checkout” button.

 

*

 

“Isn’t technology incredible?” Holtz smiles, holding the small blue and pink object in the palm of her hand while Erin stands beside her, looking at her cell phone, figuring out how to operate the thing. She glances up at her.

 

“So, not only are you consenting to this, but this was your idea …,” she says, and Holtz’s smile grows even wider, a maniacal glint in her eyes as she nods.

 

“I love to walk along the edge of danger,” she whispers dramatically. Erin presses a button on her phone. The thing begins to vibrate in Holtz’s hand.

 

“Wow,” Erin says, mildly impressed. She hits another button. The vibration grows stronger.

 

“You know, this doesn’t sound like it’s vibrating that hard, but it’s actually vibrating really hard,” Holtz comments, and then presses it against Erin’s arm.

 

“Oh,” she laughs. She turns it off, smiles at Holtz. “So...you wanna try it out right now?”

 

“Fuck yeah, I do,” she nods.

 

*

 

The power that Erin holds over Holtz, literally in the palm of her hand, is damn near intoxicating. She doesn’t use her power at first. She holds onto it. Saves it. So, she does nothing. Leaves the remote completely untouched and goes about her work as usual while Holtz goes about hers.

 

It’s when she sees Holtz with something in her hands, her fingers moving expertly as she tinkers with it, completely focused in her actions, and Erin holds her cell phone under her desk, out of sight, and she switches the vibrator on.

 

She watches as Holtz jumps slightly, clearly taken by surprise, and then she smiles, looks over at Erin, and Erin smiles in return, turning the vibration up. Holtz sets down what she’s working on, places her hands flat on the table in front of her, and looks down, keeping her body still other than the steady rise and fall of her chest as she breathes.

 

Erin keeps watching her, hits a button for a pulsing vibration pattern, and from across the room, Holtz lets out what sounds like a soft moan that she tries to cover with a laugh.

 

Technology really is incredible.

 

Just as Erin sees Holtz’s breathing beginning to grow heavy, she hits another button, shuts it off completely. Holtz whines, head snapping up to look at her in confusion, and Erin simply smirks, turning away.

 

“Rude,” she hears her softly grumble, and she suppresses a laugh.

 

She doesn’t touch it again for a while. And then Abby comes upstairs, and she goes right over to Holtz, begins to talk to her about something, and at first, Erin thinks that it’s too mean, that it could possibly expose every single thing that they’ve been doing, but at the same time, she really wants to see what happens.

 

She turns it on.

 

At first, she thinks that there must have been some sort of disconnection, because Holtz doesn’t react at all. But then she sees the barely noticeable twitching at the corners of her lips, and then she glances at her, quickly, just long enough to let Erin know that it’s working, and then she looks back at Abby.

 

Abby asks Holtz a question.

 

Ummmm ,” Holtz says, holding it out a little bit too long, tilting her head to the side, her eyes falling closed for a moment. She grips onto the edge of the table. She opens her eyes wide, answers Abby’s question in short, fragmented sentences.

 

“Are you okay?” Abby laughs. Holtz nods. Erin presses a new button. Holtz slams her hand down on the table.

 

So good!” she exclaims. She sinks down, resting her elbow on the table, propping her head up in her hand, and she’s trying so hard, she smiles at Abby, her teeth clenched together just a little bit too tightly.

 

“Okay…,” Abby says, and then she points to something that Holtz has been working on, asks another question. Holtz shoots a look in Erin’s direction, and she’s glaring, but she’s smiling, and she shakes her head, and Erin turns it to a higher setting.

 

Ohh,” Holtz moans, but then holds out the syllable, turning to Abby, “my god! Funny you should-- um-- ask…”

 

Abby narrows her eyes.

 

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

 

Uh-huh ,” she responds. “What, um. What...oh my god.”

 

She presses her knuckles to her mouth, bites down on one, and she forces her mouth into a smile, laughs loudly and shakes her head.

 

“Sorry,” she says. “I just, um. Remembered, uh, something… funny?”

 

Erin is having too much fun and Holtz is losing the battle and Abby is completely confused, but otherwise oblivious.

 

Holtz stands up straight, holding on tightly to the table, and she’s breathing heavily, trying to act normal, but Abby is staring at her, her eyebrows furrowed together.

 

“Are you sick?” she asks. “Your face is all red and you’re...sweating. Did you eat something weird? Oh, no, did you go to that sandwich place down the street again?! That makes this the third time you’ve gotten sick from there! They have a C health code rating! Why do you keep going back?!”

 

“Because the sandwiches are so good, Abby!” Holtz practically shouts through clenched teeth.

 

“But at what cost?!”

 

“Yeah, you’re right,” she pants, and she turns around, away from Abby, and Erin can just see the way her mouth falls open, chest heaving, hands balling into fists. She closes her mouth, turns around again, her eyes only half open, but she forces them fully open. “I think I’ve learned my lesson this time.”

 

“There’s another perfectly good sandwich place a couple blocks further, and I know, who wants to walk further when there’s one right there, but! They have a B-plus rating.”

 

“Oh, god.”

 

“I know, it’s not an A, but a B-plus is still fine! It’s better than a C!”

 

“Oh my god.”

 

“And, you know, I hear that those health code guys are vicious, anyways. They’ll take off points for anything.”

 

“Shit, shit, oh my god,” she whines, and she hits both hands against the table and sinks lower, bending over slightly, and then she’s crossing her arms atop the table, her head falling down onto them, and Abby watches her with a frown.

 

“You gonna be okay?” Abby asks, reaching over and placing a gentle hand on Holtz’s back.

 

Don’t!” she yells out. “Don’t touch me. Oh my god. Sorry. Sorry. Don’t. Fuck. Nope.”

 

“Ooh, sorry,” Abby says, withdrawing her hand. “Maybe, uh, maybe you should go to the bathroom? Or at least get a wastebasket over here.”

 

Holtz only laughs, loud and choppy, pounds her fist against the table.

 

Oh my god,” she groans. “ I did this to myself. And I regret everything.”

 

“I know, sweetie,” Abby nods with a small, sympathetic smile. “But maybe this is what you needed to make you stop going back.”

 

I deserve this.”

 

“Oh, now I don’t think that’s true. Don’t beat yourself up like that.”

 

Holtz only lets out a long, whining moan in response, which Abby seems to understand as her feeling ill, but Erin knows that it means that she’s close. Holtz’s body shakes, her upper half in a heap atop her table.

 

“Listen, maybe we can continue this conversation when you’re feeling better?” Abby suggests.

 

Yes.”

 

“Alright. Um...well…,” Abby glances over at Erin. “Make sure she’s okay, will you?”

 

“Oh, I will,” she smiles.

 

“I hope you didn’t eat something from that sandwich place, too.”

 

“No. I know better than that.”

 

“Okay, well,” she turns back to Holtz. “Feel better!”

 

Holtz shoots her a thumbs-up, not lifting her head from her arms, and Abby begins to walk away, and Erin watches as Holtz’s body convulses, one hand slamming against the table, the other coming to cover her own mouth, muffled moans reaching Erin’s ears, and she just smiles, sitting back, watching her come. She turns the vibrator off, sees Holtz’s heavy breathing, draped over her table still, and then she lifts her head, looking at Erin in a way that tells her that she’s going to pay for that.

 

But she continues to smile, even as Holtz stands up straight, begins to stride over to her. When she reaches her, she stands directly in front of her, looks down at her.

 

“Stand up,” she says. She does. Holtz grabs her by the waist, pulls her close to her, kisses her quickly, and then turns her around, presses her against the side of her desk. She runs her hands under her skirt and up her legs, grabbing at one leg and pushes it, forces her knee up, onto her desk. And then she’s pushing her underwear to the side and sliding her fingers into her, and Erin moans, leaning back against her.

 

“You’re wet from watching that, aren’t you?” Holtz murmurs in her ear.

 

“Uh-huh,” she nods. Holtz fucks her harder, bends her forward, and she falls onto her elbows on her desk. Her cell phone is within reaching distance and she grabs it, the vibrator remote app still opened, and she presses a button, turns it on again, and Holtz moans behind her. She turns the intensity up as high as it goes. Holtz brings her free hand around, over Erin’s bent leg and back down, under her skirt, finding her clit, rubbing circles over it.

 

Erin lets out a strangled moan, letting her head hang down, her hair falling around her face.

 

“Holtz,” she groans. “Abby and Patty...downstairs.”

 

“Yeah. I know,” she says, leaning over her, close to her ear. “So you’d better not get too loud.”

 

She closes her eyes, rocks her hips back, against Holtz’s fingers, pushing them further into her, rocks her hips forward, against Holtz’s fingers, pressing them harder against her clit. She feels Holtz’s body behind her, shaking and panting.

 

Fuck,” Holtz whispers. Erin lets out a soft whimper of her own in response and buries her face in her arms, pressing her mouth into the crook of her elbow to keep from moaning to loudly.

 

Holtz’s movements slow and her hands shake and she lets out a series of soft, suppressed moans, and Erin knows that she’s coming again, and she pushes herself up, off of the desk, and she turns around to look at her, to watch her face, and Holtz grabs her, pulls her close, buries her face in her neck, moans against her skin. She clutches her and she whines, and Erin thinks that she’s probably had enough, so she reaches for her phone, turns the vibrator off, and Holtz pants, her body still shaking, still holding onto Erin.

 

“Holy shit,” she laughs breathily.

 

“Yeah,” Erin agrees.

 

Fuck.”

 

“That was even more fun that I thought it’d be.”

 

“Oh my god, ” Holtz continues to pant, and then she lifts her head, looking at Erin’s face. “Sit on the desk.”

 

“What?”

 

“Sit on the desk,” she repeats. “My job here isn’t done until I’ve made you come.”

 

She does as she’s told, pulling herself up to sit on her desk, and Holtz stands between her knees, reaching up under her skirt, rubs her clit again, over her underwear at first before pushing it aside, and Erin grips onto Holtz’s arms, presses her face into her shoulder, and they shouldn’t be doing this here or now, with Patty and Abby and Kevin all downstairs, but it’s hot and dangerous and the first time in way too long that Holtz is touching her like this, and she comes with Holtz’s free hand pressed hard over her mouth, and then they’re kissing and Holtz’s is running her fingers through her hair softly, strokes her cheek, pulls away, smiling at her.

 

“Have I mentioned lately how glad I am that you found my porn and we started fucking?” she asks. Erin laughs.

 

“I don’t think so,” she says. “But I’m pretty glad, too.”

 

*

 

Erin still hasn’t found a new video. It’s been over two weeks and she has searched every single combination of keywords that she can think of to no avail.

 

“I need another clue,” Erin says to her, leaning against a table in the lab. “I’m stuck.”

 

“It’s possible that they are just lost forever,” Holtz comments with a shrug. “I did film those videos a very, very long time ago.”

 

“They have to be somewhere ,” Erin argues. “Things don’t just disappear from the internet.”

 

“Oh, I can argue against that,” she smirks.

 

That’s when Patty comes upstairs, a thick book in her arms, and Erin doesn’t notice her at first until Holtz’s eyes seem to focus on her, and Erin turns to see her looking at the both of them with her eyebrows slightly raised. She doesn’t say anything, but it’s obvious that she’s suspicious of something. Erin glances back at Holtz and she can tell that she’s noticed the same thing. Holtz leans over the table just a little bit more, begins to speak so softly, her lips barely moving at all, and Erin has to strain to hear her.

 

“I think I know how to throw her off,” Holtz mumbles.

 

“How?” Erin mouths. Holtz glances at Patty who is no longer looking at them, and then back at Erin.

 

“Quick question first. Do you trust me?”

 

“Um,” Erin hesitates.

 

“Okay, that’s fair,” she nods. “But I need you to trust me on this, okay?”

 

“What...exactly is the plan?”

 

“Just trust me.”

 

*

 

Erin doesn’t get to find out the plan right away. Holtz tells her that it’ll happen when it needs to happen, but Erin doesn’t even know what that means .

 

“In the meantime, though,” Holtz tells her. “I once made a very fun video with a nice young lady who went by the name of Vivian Gold. I believe she had a pretty long career in the industry, you should be able to find her with no problem.”

 

She has no problem finding her. She has no problem finding tons of videos of her. However, there are so many videos that trying to find the one with Holtz in it proves difficult.

 

But then she finds it. Her name is nowhere in the title or anywhere to be found. But Erin sees a blonde in the thumbnail for a video named simply “ Hot Lesbian Action” , thinks she recognizes the pale skin and the body, so she clicks it, and it only takes her a few seconds to be sure that yes, it is Holtz in the video.

 

It’s already after eleven at night. It’s late. She texts Holtz anyways.

 

Found it. Should I save it for tomorrow evening?

 

A few seconds later, Holtz responds.

 

Actually why don’t you go ahead and watch this one by yourself? I expect a full review tomorrow though ;)

 

It’s different, but Erin doesn’t argue it. She sets her phone aside and settles back onto her pillow with her laptop. She has a fleeting thought that it feels strange to watch a new video without Holtz there, and that she misses her, but she doesn’t think about that for long.

 

The video starts with Holtz kissing a woman with long, straight brown hair. They’re standing, Holtz pressed against a wall, hands roaming over each others underwear-clad bodies. It’s pretty standard. It’s hot, and Erin wastes no time in trailing her hand down to between her legs, but still standard.

 

Until, of course, the other woman is donning a strap-on and Holtz is moving onto her hands and knees in front of her, and Erin’s eyes widen, her own fingers instinctively moving faster against herself, and she watches as the purple rubber tip pushes into Holtz, the camera close, watches her as she presses back against it, watches her as she gets fucked.

 

She comes hard once, and then she comes again.

 

*

 

She’s staring at Holtz.

 

It almost feels like the first time all over again, after she saw the very first porn video, except this time, Holtz knows. She knows what Erin has seen and she knows that Erin is staring at her. Erin knows that Holtz knows that she’s staring at her, because every so often, she looks up at her with this mischievous smile, sometimes winking at her, and Erin can’t focus on any of her work at all.

 

“So…,” Holtz says, standing in front of Erin’s desk. “Have a good night last night?”

 

“It was quite nice, yes,” she nods, smiling politely.

 

“That’s good.”

 

She stares up at her, and Holtz stares right back, a smile playing at her lips as she seems to be waiting for Erin to say something.

 

“I always expected that you would be the one to wear the strap-on,” she says casually as if she is just making regular small talk. A grin breaks out onto Holtz’s face.

 

“Oh, I’m pretty flexible when it comes to that kind of thing,” she tells her.

 

“Oh, really?”

 

“Mmhm.”

 

“That’s… good to know.”

 

“So, did you like it?” Holtz asks her, lifting her eyebrows.

 

“I did,” she nods.

 

“What did you like about it?” she asks, her voice low as she leans down closer to Erin.

 

“I would be happy to tell you in a more private place...when we have some time to go over certain details,” she answers.

 

“Hmm,” Holtz hums, standing up straight again. “Have I ever had you over to my place?”

 

“No,” she shakes her head.

 

“I mean, of course, if you’re... interested... I happen to own a strap-on,” she states simply.

 

Oh.”

 

If you’re interested, of course.”

 

“Yes,” Erin nods, probably a little bit too quickly. “Am-- I am...yeah. Interested.”

 

Holtz grins, and then leans in close to her again, very close, her upper half practically on top of Erin’s desk, bringing her face right in front of hers as she begins to whisper.

 

“Do you wanna fuck me with the strap-on or do you want me to fuck you with the strap-on?”

 

“I want to fuck you with the strap-on,” she answers without hesitation, her words coming out breathy and low, and Holtz’s grin only widens.

 

“I was hoping you’d say that.”

 

And then she’s kissing her, fast and sloppy, one hand in her hair, the other holding herself up on the desk, and Erin kisses back, revels in the way her tongue feels against hers, the way she tastes, breathing in her scent, and then she’s pulling away, stepping back, and moving back to her lab without another word.

 

*

 

“Y’all have been acting really weird,” Patty comments just as Erin and Holtz are leaving the firehouse together. Erin didn’t even know that she was there and she jumps, turning to look at her.

 

“Have...we?” Erin asks, looking between her and Holtz. She doesn’t think that they’ve been that obvious. But then, Patty is the most observant of them all….

 

“I don’t know what’s going on, but it’s something weird,” she says with narrowed eyes. Erin sees Holtz looking at her. She turns her head, catching her eye, and Holtz raises her eyebrows. Erin just shrugs.

 

“I finally got Erin to sleep with me,” Holtz announces proudly with a grin. Patty’s eyes widen, and so do Erin’s, as she stares at Holtz in absolute shock. “Or, well, actually more like the other way around. She kind of got me to sleep with her.”

 

“Uhh,” Patty responds, looking between the two.

 

And suddenly, Erin understands exactly what Holtz is doing.

 

“Holtz did porn in college,” she says, looking at Patty.

 

“That’s true,” Holtz nods. “I did.”

 

“And I found it!” Erin laughs.

 

“She watches a ton of lesbian porn.”

 

“I mean, not a ton ,” she frowns.

 

“Anyways, she found my porn,” Holtz continues.

 

“Yeah,” Erin agrees.

 

“And she liked it a lot. So then we fucked.”

 

“And now I’m trying to find all the other porn she did. There’s a lot of it.”

 

“I like to watch her watch it.”

 

“Okay,” Patty finally interrupts. “That’s...god, that’s enough.”

 

She shakes her head, looking at them both with a frown, and it’s obvious that she thinks that they’re making it all up..

 

“Forget I even asked. Whatever y’all are doing… you know? I don’t care.”

 

“Love you, Patty!” Holtz grins, turning towards the front door. Patty looks at Erin.

 

“You know, I expect that kind of nonsense from her, but for you to be encouraging her like that? Come on, man.”

 

Erin nods.

 

“I know. You’re right.”

 

And before she can say anything else, she turns and follows Holtz out of the firehouse.

 

“Oh my god,” she laughs. “How did you know that would work?!”

 

Because,” Holtz says. “The truth is so completely outrageous that it sounds like a ridiculous story that I would make up for fun! I knew that she would think that I was just spouting bullshit.”

 

“Honestly, you’re a genius, Holtz.”

 

*

 

Erin can’t stop laughing. It really isn’t that funny, but she can’t stop laughing. And Holtz is sitting atop her bed in just a sports bra and underwear, watching Erin with a look of amusement on her face, and Erin can’t stop laughing as she swings her hips, watching as the dildo attached to her flops around. She rests her hands on her hips, over the soft leather straps of the harness she’s wearing, continues to move and giggle at the sight.

 

“You’re cute,” Holtz comments from where she sits on the bed.

 

Erin still can’t stop laughing even as she crawls onto the bed, towards Holtz, even as Holtz pulls her close to her. Finally, her giggles die down when Holtz’s face is inches away from hers, and she watches her run her tongue over her lips, eyes meeting hers.

 

Holtz kisses her, softly, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, sliding her tongue into her mouth, and Erin grips onto her, letting her hands move over her skin, across her back and up underneath the elastic band of her sports bra. She pushes the fabric up, brings her hands around to touch her breasts, rolling her nipples between her fingers. Erin is already completely undressed, and Holtz trails her lips from Erins mouth to her neck before swiping her tongue over a nipple. Erin lets out a long breath, one hand running through Holtz’s hair, holding her close to her.

 

“How do you want me?” Holtz asks, looking up at her.

 

“On your back,” Erin answers easily, not even needing to think about it. “I want to see your face.”

 

Holtz pulls away, scooting herself up towards the head of her bed, pulling her bra off and tossing it aside.

 

Holtz’s apartment is a studio, small but comfortable, less messy than Erin was expecting, and decorated in way that seems perfectly fitting for Holtz. She has multicoloured Christmas lights wrapped around the metal frame of her bed and they cast a warm glow over her face as she settles into the pillows. Her hair is down, curly and wild, and Erin thinks that she looks more beautiful than she can ever remember.

 

Which is a strange thought, really. She knows that she’s attracted to Holtz. She knows that she finds her incredibly sexy. But beautiful is new. Fitting. Accurate. But new.

 

Erin reaches towards her, hooks her fingers into the waistband of Holtz’s underwear and slowly begins to pull them down and off of her. Holtz bends her knees slightly, parts her legs, looks at Erin with a small smile.

 

Erin climbs on top of her, pushes her legs apart even more as she settles between her legs, leaning down to kiss her. And it’s strange, having an extra appendage that she isn’t used to, because she can feel it pressing between their bodies and it almost makes her start laughing again, but she’s too busy kissing Holtz, touching her breasts, her stomach, bringing her hand between her legs. Holtz moans into her mouth, softly, her hand coming to rest at her jaw, deepening their kiss.

 

Erin moves her fingers slowly but firmly over Holtz’s clit, and Holtz arches her body up into hers in response. She keeps up with it for a while, not changing the pace, just slow and steady the whole time, and Holtz moans, her hips moving upwards every so often. Erin breaks their kiss but carries her lips across Holtz’s cheek and to her ear, bringing her earlobe lightly between her teeth before releasing it.

 

“I want to fuck you,” she whispers, causing a visible chill to shake through Holtz’s body, and she moans again, nods her head.

 

“Fuck me,” she insists.

 

She removes her fingers from between Holtz’s legs and she moves, sitting between them instead, and looks at the sight in front of her, burning it into her memory.

 

She looks down at herself, touches the dildo situated between her own legs, and then back up at Holtz, moving closer towards her. Holtz is looking at her, biting down on her bottom lip, and then she suddenly inches up the bed, away from Erin and then lets out a soft, nervous laugh and closes her eyes, shaking her head.

 

Erin looks at her, tilts her head in questioning, and Holtz lets out another nervous laugh.

 

“Sorry, sorry, I um,” she begins. “It’s just been a while since I, um. Since I’ve been on this end of um. It’s just, uhh…”

 

“Oh,” Erin says. “Do you not want--?”

 

“I do! Oh my god, I do,” Holtz nods enthusiastically. “Erin, I want you to fuck me so badly . I just always get nervous about um, the uh...the part where it goes in.”

 

“Oh,” Erin frowns.

 

“And like! Once it’s actually in and we get going? Totally fine! Enjoy it a lot! It’s the...the first part,” she explains, staring down at the dildo. “I’m just so used to dainty little lady-fingers that that is just...a little scary at first.”

 

“You did porn ,” Erin points out. “And the one in that video was a lot bigger than this one.”

 

“Yeah! And that one was really scary!”

 

“You do want to do this, right? Because we don’t have to--”

 

“Yes! I do! Just give me a second!” Holtz says. Erin can’t help but smile, finding the whole situation strangely adorable.

 

“Maybe I should just try to make you more comfortable,” Erin suggests, bringing her fingers back to Holtz’s clit again, and Holtz lets her eyes fall closed and she nods, licking her lips and falling back onto the pillow.

 

“Yeah...Yeah, okay,” she agrees with a sigh.

 

She does it for a few minutes, soft and slow, watching as Holtz visibly relaxes again, breathy moans and soft sighs coming from her lips. Erin watches her, then looks down at her own fingers moving against her, the pink skin glistening and wet, and Erin leans down and forward, replaces her fingers with her tongue, tasting her, hearing her gasp, feeling the fingers begin to gently run through her hair.

 

She sucks on her clit and pushes two fingers into her and the hand in her hair tightens. She moves her fingers in and out of her, curved just so, and she feels Holtz’s body reacting to it, the way her hips move and the way her thighs shake, and she wants to do this forever, but she doesn’t want her to come, not just yet, so she removes her fingers, pulls her mouth away from her clit with a pop, runs her tongue over her once more before sitting up, spreading Holtz’s legs even further apart.

 

And she’s looking up at her with dark, heavily-lidded eyes, her lips wet and parted, chest moving rapidly up and down, and she smiles.

 

“You ready?” Erin asks her.

 

“Ready,” she nods. “Fuck me, Erin.”

 

She doesn’t need to be told twice. She moves so that she’s kneeling flush up against her, between her opened legs, and she adjusts herself to a comfortable position over her, holding the head of the dildo in her hand as she guides it to Holtz’s entrance. She looks up at her and meets her eyes as she slowly begins to push it in. Holtz’s eyes close, her mouth opens, and she lets out a long, low breath.

 

“You okay?” Erin asks her. She nods quickly, blinking her eyes open to look at her.

 

“Totally good,” she confirms. “Wasn’t bad at all. Really made it a much bigger deal in my head than it actually was.”

 

Erin laughs and slowly moves her hips back, and then forward again, watching the way Holtz’s expressions change. It takes her a few tries to find a rhythm, and she’s a little awkward and has a hard time getting herself into a position that’s comfortable for both of them, but eventually, she gets there.

 

Holtz’s legs wrap around her waist, and Erin falls forward slightly, moving her hips, continuing to thrust into Holtz, continuing to elicit soft moans and tightening grips, and she’s able to kiss over Holtz’s skin along her chest and shoulders and collarbones, down to her breasts, and Holtz holds her close, and every time Erin pushes forward, it results in a delicious pressure against her clit, not nearly enough to make her come, but combined with the way Holtz writhes beneath her, Erin doesn’t think she’s ever enjoyed herself more.

 

Oh my god,” Holtz pants, throwing her head back, and Erin takes the opportunity to press her lips against her neck, licking and sucking and biting, and Holtz whimpers, her body moving with Erin’s, and Erin tastes the sweat on her skin, licks a trail over her collarbone, and Holtz’s hands tighten on her, digging her fingernails into the skin of Erin’s arms.

 

Erin sits up, readjusting her position, sits on her knees, the dildo sliding out of Holtz, slick and covered in her juices, and she whines at the loss, but Erin reaches for an unused pillow on the side of the bed, forces Holtz to lift her hips, sliding it beneath her. She pushes back into her, her hips raised just enough for Erin to be able to comfortable fuck her with the strap-on and reach down to rub at her clit. Holtz moans loudly, her fingers twisting into the bedsheets, and the way that her breathing begins to come out in ragged, high-pitched wheezes, the way that her moans are long and loud and seemingly involuntary, the way that her eyes are screwed shut, head tilted back, mouth wide open, the way that her thighs tremble… Erin can tell how close she is, and she only speeds up her movements, fucks her a little bit harder.

 

“Ohh, fuck, fuck, fuck, oh my-- fucking, ohhh,” she yells out, and it’s beautiful, and she’s beautiful, and when she comes, it’s with her entire body, shaking hard, and  it’s easily the most beautiful thing that Erin has ever seen.

 

Erin undoes the strap-on harness, pulling it off of her and setting it aside and she lays on top of Holtz, kissing over her sweaty skin as she comes down from her orgasm. Slowly, her breathing returns close to normal, her hands settling at the small of Erin’s back.

 

“Um,” Holtz begins, still somewhat breathless. “The fact that it’s possible that I may have gone my entire life without ever truly knowing how much of a freak you are in bed...is deeply upsetting.”

 

“I am not a freak in bed,” Erin scoffs.

 

“Oh, but you are, and I love it,” she says.

 

“Okay. Whatever,” she laughs, leaning down to press their lips together.

 

“Mmm,” Holtz hums softly, wrapping her arms entirely around Erin, pressing their bodies tightly together. “You’re not allowed to move.”

 

“Well...if you say so,” Erin sighs, nuzzling her face into Holtz’s neck.

 

*

 

Erin finds another video completely on accident five days later. It’s when she’s trying to find the strap-on video again, having forgotten to bookmark it, and she wants to watch it on her own before bed, but she can’t remember how she found it the first time, and then, when she thinks she’s found it, she turns out to be wrong. It’s a different video. But Holtz is still in it. And a strap-on is still involved. But this time, it’s Holtz wearing it.

 

She watches it on her own -- she already started it on her own, thinking that it was a different one, it really isn’t her fault -- and she tells Holtz about it the next day.

 

Holtz fucks her with the strap-on, and Erin rides her, bouncing up and down in her lap, Holtz grasping onto her ass the entire time, staring at her in amazement.

 

“Like, I know you’ve done that on real penises before, and that thought probably shouldn’t turn me on as much as it does, and it’s not the thought of real penises, because that’s...no... it’s mostly the thought of you just like, taking total control and, oh my god, Erin, you are so fucking sexy, are you aware of that?”

 

Erin can only laugh, kissing her.

 

*

 

They no longer fuck only when there’s a new video for Erin to watch. They fuck regularly, video or not.

 

They fuck at Erin’s apartment, at Holtz’s place, at the firehouse when nobody else is around.

 

Erin goes a long time without finding another video. There are four left in the universe, but she seems to have run out of luck with finding them. Holtz gives her names of the women she worked with, but it doesn’t help.

 

It’s been well over a month since the last video, and Erin has all but given up hope of finding the others, accepting the fact that they are likely lost for good.

 

Until one day when Holtz walks over towards Erin’s desk and doesn’t say a word and she drops a small object down in front of her. She picks it up. It’s a flash drive. She looks up at her.

 

“What’s this?” she asks.

 

“Merry Christmas,” she smiles.

 

“It’s August.”

 

“Yeah? So? Happy National Watermelon Day, then.”

 

“What is this?” Erin asks again, still holding up the flash drive.

 

“It’s the last four videos.”

 

She stares at her silently for several seconds.

 

“Seriously?”

 

“Yep,” she nods.

 

“How?”

 

“Made a few calls,” she says with a shrug.

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah. Wasn’t all that hard once I figured out the right people to get in touch with.”

 

“You…,” Erin begins, a smile spreading over her face. She jumps to her feet, moving around her desk until Holtz is in front of her, and she grabs her face, kissing her.

 

“That’s the exact reaction I was hoping for!” she exclaims.

 

“You did this for me?” Erin asks.

 

“Yeah. I mean, I benefit from it, too, but...yeah,” she nods.

 

“Is it weird that I’m so touched that you’ve given me pornography as a gift?”

 

“Under normal circumstances, maybe, ” Holtz says. “But I wouldn’t really consider anything about this a normal circumstance.”

 

“Yeah,” she laughs. “Me either.”

 

*

 

They watch a video together that night at Erin’s apartment. She uses her vibrator while Holtz watches, and when the video finishes, Erin goes down on her. They end up falling asleep together, naked and exhausted in Erin’s bed.

 

They watch another two nights later, and another the night after that.

 

When they reach the final video, Holtz tells Erin that she’ll meet her at her place later. When there’s a knock on the door and Erin opens it, she’s taken aback at first. Holtz is standing there in the doorway, but it’s...different. She’s different. And Erin can only stare.

 

Her hair is down, curled in soft waves over her shoulders, her yellow-lensed glasses still perched atop her head, and she’s wearing makeup, her eyes lined in black with perfectly pointed wings and smokey shadow. And her lips. Painted a deep red, curved into a smug smile as she leans onto her elbow against the doorframe.

 

“What…?” is the only word that Erin can manage to get out, her mouth suddenly very dry, her lungs seemingly failing to work properly.

 

“Well,” Holtz begins, stepping inside and closing the door behind her. “We’ve reached the very last video, you know. I thought it called for something special.”

 

Erin had been so entranced by Holtz’s hair and face that she barely even noticed the rest of her. But her eyes scan over her body, and she’s covered to her knees in her long, army green lab coat, secured closed at the front, but not for long. Holtz quickly undoes the closure and slips the jacket from her shoulders, letting it fall to the floor at her feet.

 

And then she’s standing there in a matching bra and panties, black and lacy, the bra pushing her breasts together and up into perfect cleavage, the tiny panties at her hips, situated just below a matching garter belt, straps trailing down the pale skin of her thighs, securing the lacy tops of the black thigh-high stockings, tucked into her usual, worn out, lace-up boots.

 

“I brought you your very own Ada Lovelace,” she states simply, and Erin still can’t stop staring, looking over her completely -- the hair, the lips, the lingerie, the fact that she came here in that, covered in just her jacket. It’s a lot to take in and Erin is completely speechless.

 

“The look probably would’ve been better with heels, but,” she shrugs, “I wasn’t about to walk in heels all the way here. Sorry.”

 

“No,” Erin shakes her head, clearing her throat and finding her voice again. “Good-- the-- yeah. Boots. Yeah.”

 

“Soo,” Holtz smiles at her. “You wanna watch porn and have sex?”

 

“Yes,” she nods quickly, and then she pulls off her own shirt, tossing it aside, and Holtz is grabbing her, placing her hand on her back and pulling her against her, kissing her, and Erin brings her hands to her hair, burying them, running her fingers through it, pausing to remove the glasses from her head and simply dropping them to the floor.

 

Holtz pushes her towards the direction of the bedroom, still kissing her, running her hands over her skin, down to the waistband of her jeans, around towards the front to unbutton them and pull the zipper down. When they finally reach the bedroom, Holtz pulls away from her and Erin hastily tugs her jeans completely off of her, slips her underwear off, and unclasps her bra.

 

Holtz is touching her again, running her hands over her breasts, dropping kisses along her neck and over her chest, across her collarbone, down to her nipples. Erin allows herself to slowly be pushed backwards until she’s up against the bed, and then onto it.

 

Erin moves herself up the bed until she’s against the pillows while Holtz still stands, strolls towards Erin’s nightstand, grabbing her laptop from it and handing it over to her. Erin takes it, still having a hard time tearing her eyes away from Holtz in that ensemble, but then Holtz kicks off her boots and sits down beside her, leaning in close to her, brushing the hair off of her shoulder and leaving a soft, wet kiss against her skin. She trails her mouth up to her neck and Erin tries to focus, opening her computer, finding the last video.

 

She starts it and sets her computer down onto the bed beside her. On the screen, Holtz is wearing an outfit similar to the one she’s in now, kissing a woman also in lingerie much the same.

 

Holtz continues to kiss Erin’s neck, slow and soft, her fingers moving lightly over her chest, between her breasts, across her stomach. Her mouth follows, moving herself down, kissing a trail down her body, her hair hanging low, dragging across Erin’s skin, tickling her and eliciting goosebumps. Holtz stops to press her tongue flat against a nipple, just as Erin watches the Holtz on screen do the same thing to the other woman.

 

She lets out a breath, burying a hand in Holtz’s hair again, still keeping her eyes on the computer screen. Holtz drags her tongue to the other nipple, takes it into her mouth, and Erin is finding it difficult to focus on more than one thing. She looks away from the screen, her eyelids falling closed as Holtz’s mouth moves against her body. She kisses down her stomach. Erin glances at the video again, sees Holtz kissing her way down the woman’s body.

 

“I want to kiss every part of you,” Holtz mumbles from where she’s situated down by Erin’s hips, running her tongue along a protruding hip bone. Erin releases a soft sigh in response. She’s still sucking at the skin along Erin’s hips when she brings a hand down further, between Erin’s legs, slowly trailing a single finger up through her wetness to meet her clit, and it’s so slow, but not in an agonizing way, but in a way that makes Erin think that she would like to do this for hours, forever even, maybe.

 

The Holtz in the video is eating the other woman out, the camera zoomed in, showing the way Holtz’s tongue moves against her, and Erin knows how that feels, knows the exact way that Holtz’s tongue feels against her. And then Holtz is moving, pushing Erin’s knees up and settling between her legs, and then she has Holtz’s tongue against her. And she’s watching her with the woman while the same thing is being done to her, and she tears her eyes away from the screen to look down, lifting herself onto an elbow and reaching to push back the hair hanging in front of Holtz’s face, and she’s met with blue eyes looking right back at her. She keeps her fingers in her hair, keeps looking down at her until her eyes fall closed and she drops back against the pillow again, a soft moan passing her lips.

 

The video plays on, but Erin only pays partial attention, the slow and steady movements of Holtz’s tongue on her beginning to make her breath heavy. The video isn’t very much different from any of the others, but when Erin does manage to look at it, the sight is still a little too much to handle, combined with the way Holtz’s mouth feels on her, and she moans, her hand sliding down the bed to twist in the sheets, but then Holtz’s hand is grabbing hers, lacing their fingers together and bringing it to rest atop her hip.

 

Holtz continues with her slow movements until the video ends, and Erin is panting, gripping onto Holtz’s hand, her head pressed back against the pillow, and as soon as the video is over with, Holtz brings her free hand around, sliding her fingers into Erin, pressing her tongue more firmly against her clit, circling around it, and it’s so sudden and Erin is caught off guard, and she lets out a squeak, followed by a long moan, and Holtz curls her fingers inside of her, wraps her lips around her clit, and Erin comes, suddenly and hard, her back arching from the bed.

 

Holtz kisses her way back up Erin’s body, just as slowly as she went down, and Erin smooths her hair back, holds onto her, holds her close to her, and then she’s pressing their lips together, and Erin runs her hands down, over Holtz’s bra, down to her waist. She pulls away to look at Holtz’s face.

 

“How in the hell are you still wearing lipstick?” she asks, the red of her lips only slightly faded.

 

“Oh my god, this stuff stays on forever ,” she laughs.

 

“What brand is it?”

 

“I can’t remember. I’ll tell you later.”

 

“Okay, good. Because that’s...impressive.”

 

Holtz smiles, leaning in to kiss her again.

 

“I kind of want you to take your clothes off, but I also kind of want you to keep that on,” Erin says, looking down over her body again. Holtz’s smile turns into a smirk and she rolls onto her back and runs her hands over her body in an exaggeratedly seductive way, winking at Erin almost comically.

 

“You liiike it?” she practically sings. Erin laughs, nodding.

 

“Yeah,” she says. “I like it a lot.”

 

She leans over her and kisses her, brings her hand down and slides it into Holtz’s panties.

 

Holtz keeps her hand on Erin’s cheek, moans into her mouth, moves her hips, pressing herself against Erin’s hand.

 

Their mouths slide away from each other, Erin focusing on moving her fingers in tight circles around Holtz’s clit, Holtz clutching Erin tight, her eyes closed, bottom lip between her teeth, chest quickly rising and falling.

 

“Oh my god,” Holtz pants. “Oh, god , that’s so good, Erin.”

 

“Yeah?” she smiles.

 

“Yeah,” she nods, breaths heavy and unsteady. Erin watches her face. She doesn’t think she could ever grow tired of seeing this. Holtz pulls Erin’s face towards hers, kissing her hard and she comes, their lips pressed together.

 

They kiss lazily for a while after Holtz’s breathing slows to normal, and then they lay there together in a comfortable silence, wrapped around each other. Erin traces her fingers over the garter belt that Holtz still wears, over the straps on her thighs. She pulls one of the straps, releases it, snapping it against Holtz’s skin. She does it again, glancing up at her, and she’s smiling, clearly amused.

 

“You know…,” Erin begins, snapping the strap yet again. “It was nice to spend some personal time with Ada.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah,” she nods. “But I think I may like my personal time with Holtz a little bit more.”

 

“Oh, really?” she grins, and Erin nods again. And then she sighs, flopping onto her back, looking up at the ceiling.

 

“Is it weird that I’m kind of sad that I’ve seen all of your videos now?”

 

“You’re sad about that?” Holtz laughs. “I thought that was what you wanted.”

 

“It was! It is! I just...wish there were more,” she shrugs. “It’s been...fun.”

 

“Well, I’m sorry that my financial crisis didn’t last longer.”

 

No, ” Erin laughs, shaking her head. “That’s not what I mean.”

 

I know, I know,” Holtz says, leaning over towards Erin, kissing her, and then resting her chin against her shoulder. “I’ve had fun, too. Like, I thought that I wanted them to disappear and never be seen by anybody, but...damn. I was wrong.”

 

Erin laughs, turns her head slightly so that her lips come in contact with Holtz’s cheek, dropping a soft kiss there.

 

“You know…,” Holtz begins, a teasing tone to her voice.

 

“Hm?”

 

“If you really want there to be another video… you could help me make a new one….”

 

Erin lifts her head, looking down at her, searching for some trace that she’s joking. But Holtz looks back at her, smiling, but no trace of jest in her expression.

 

“Really?” Erin asks, a smile spreading over her lips. Holtz doesn’t answer. She just keeps staring at Erin.

 

Then, she winks.