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Wolf Whistles 4

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Wolf Whistles 4

by Texas Ranger

Author's disclaimer: Jim and Blair are committed to PetFly, but they enjoy the occasional tryst with me. Ain't makin' no money, but writing is cheaper than therapy and less messy than mass murder.


Blair circled the area around Jim's desk, looking for a comfortable spot to lie down, preferably somewhere his tail would be well out of range of pedestrians and the wheels of Jim's chair. Sighing, he flopped down to the right of Jim and curled up for a nap.

Jim lifted his head from the buttload of paperwork piled in front of him long enough to shoot his reclining lover an irritated glance. "Just make yourself comfortable, Chief," he said sarcastically. "Don't even worry about doing your share of the paperwork."

Blair looked up in amazement. Did I somehow fail to notice a thumb on this paw, Jim? He held up the appendage and gave it a once-over. No, guess not. So tell me, genius: how would you like me to do said share of paperwork? Unless the Commissioner is suddenly accepting legal documents signed with a paw print I'd say I'm off the hook He rested his head on his paws and closed his eyes.

"Okay, that was a stupid comment," Jim allowed grumpily, "but you don't have to look so damn content down there!" He shuffled through the pile, grabbing a piece of paper and shaking it accusingly at Blair. "See this? This little honey has to be filled out in triplicate. In triplicate. Fucking triplicate!"

Yes, Jim, but your comments don't have to be in triplicate, do they?

Jim went back to his work, grumbling softly, and Blair closed his eyes again, enjoying the feel of the cool floor under his furred body. He was just getting started on a nice meditation involving naked Jim, chocolate eclairs, and nipple clips when:

"Awwww, shit!"

Blair opened one eye. What now?

Jim sighed and covered his face with his hands. "There is a page," he said in doomsday tones, "missing from this report. Do you know what that means?"

There's a report-eating troll running around the bullpen?

"It means," Jim pronounced, peeking through his fingers, "that I have to go downstairs to forensics to get this missing page. Forensics means Cassie, in case you forgot."

Oh. Well, call and ask her to fax it up."

"The reason I don't call and ask her to fax it up," Jim went on, "is that she's no longer accepting my calls after you mistook her leg for a fire hydrant." He heaved himself up out of the chair with the look of a man about to face the firing squad. "In the immortal words of Nancy Kerrigan, 'Why me? Why anyone?' " He straightened his spine and started toward the elevator.

Blair was assaulted with an attack of conscience. Jim was in this pickle partially because of him. The least he could do was stand by him when he went off to face the Wicked Witch of the Pacific Northwest. Hold up, partner he thought, bounding gracefully to his feet and padding after Jim. He caught up and licked the big detective's hand in a show of support.

Jim looked down. "Okay, but no water sports while we're down there, understand?"

Blair blinked cub-blue eyes at his partner. Absolutely. I'll be on my best behavior. He thought for a moment. That is, as long as Little Orphan Annie keeps her hands off my Daddy Warbucks.

The basement of the Cascade PD wasn't usually threatening, but today half the overhead fluorescents were out due to a malfunction and the place had all the charm of a Nightmare on Elm Street movie. "That would make Cassie Freddy Krueger," Jim muttered.

Sounds like a casting coup to me.

The lady in question was examining a slide when the partners walked in. She looked up and gave them a haughty look. "Ellison," she said coldly.

"Wells," Jim returned. "I'm missing page two of the Johnson report. I'd appreciate you running me off another copy."

She glared down at Blair. "What the hell is that doing here?" she sneered, flicking one long, red fingernail in his general direction.

Don't drag out the welcome mat on my account, Cassie Blair growled softly.

Jim laid a comforting hand on his furry head. "Chief is my temporary partner," he said evenly. "The report, please."

Cassie huffed and took out her indignation on her computer, slamming away at the keys as if they were responsible for her failure to qualify for the job of Mrs. Jim Ellison. "Here," she said, yanking the paper off the printer and thrusting it at Jim.

Cassie, my Brassy Lassie, your manners need- Blair broke off as pain shot through his body in searing waves. He collapsed to his side on the floor, panting.

"Blair!" Jim fell to his knees by his lover's side and stroked his fur.

"Blair?" Cassie asked, suspicious.

Blair whimpered as the pain intensified. Every muscle in his body cried out with the change that was taking place. He could feel his snout pulling in, his legs lengthening, his tail disappearing. Shit! Oh man, this really-

"-sucks," he finished out loud, and blinked at the sound of his human voice. He looked around at Jim crouching over him. "Oh wow," he whispered, struggling to sit up with Jim's help.

"You're human again!" Jim crowed, hugging his Guide enthusiastically. He paused and gave Blair the once over. "You're also naked."

A small noise brought them out of each other and back to the real world. Cassie had retreated until her back was against a lab table. She was watching Jim and Blair with wide-eyed disbelief. "Human again?" she croaked, jaw swinging.

Jim spared her a glance. "Look, Cassie, it's a long story-"

She recovered quickly. "I just bet it is," she smirked, "and you'll want to get it straight because someone's going to want to know what Blair's doing naked on my floor." She darted into the hall, yelling for her assistants.

Blair raised himself to his knees. "Shit, Jim, we have to-ow!" He doubled over in pain again. "Not-"

-again? He looked down, saw his now-familiar lupine body and sighed. Well, it was fun while it lasted.

Before Jim could reply, Cassie rushed back into the room, pointing. "He just walked right in, butt naked," she said triumphantly to the three forensic techs.

They looked around in confusion. "Who's naked?" Jeremy asked. "Hi, Jim. Hi, Chief." He bent down and ruffled Blair's ears.

"Blair Sandburg," Cassie explained patiently. "He's right there. He-" she stopped, jaw once again doing its best to become one with the floor.

Serena gave Cassie a pitying look. "We'd all like to find Blair Sandburg naked on our floor," she said.

"Sure, Cassie," Bruce nodded, twirling his finger around his ear behind his boss' back.

"But," Cassie floundered, waving her hand at Blair, "he was-"

Jeremy ushered his colleagues out the door. "Naked, yes, we know, Cassie, right."

Jim got to his feet and shook his head solemnly. "You really should see someone about those delusions, Cass. C'mon, Chief."

They beat a hasty retreat, actually waiting til they hit the elevator to burst into hysterics. "Oh, man!" Jim gasped, wiping tears from his eyes. "Did you see her face?" He struck a pose. " 'But he was-' Priceless!"

Blair's tail whipped from side to side manically. They'll be whispering about Cassie's naked Blair sighting for weeks. That cracked him up again, and his tail thumped faster. I wish I could feel some sympathy, but there's a limit to the milk of human kindness running through these veins. He reconsidered. Or would that be the milk of lupine kindness?

Jim and Blair returned to Jim's paperwork-laden desk, sure that they hadn't heard the last of Cassie Wells.

End